Why Housing Is So Expensive, and the Myth of Timing the Market

October 26, 20260 comments♥ 0
00:00Soft, cushy, plush, cozy, soft, smooth, buttery, marshmallowy, warm, soft.Sox, underwear, teas, and more.Bombas, everyday comfort worth obsessing over.Visit bombus.com slash audio and use code audio for 20% off your first purchase.That's B-O-M-B-A-S.com slash audio.One purchase equals one donated, always.support for the show comes from First Citizens Innovation Banking, formerly Silicon Valley Bank.First Citizens is the bank of the innovation economy. The name may have changed, but for over 40 years,
00:40their commitment to bold ideas, relentless ambition, and delivering what's next is as strong as ever.So if you're wondering where the road to innovation starts, it's here. First Citizens InnovationBanking. Head to firstcitizens.com slash innovation to learn more.Support for the show comes from Inside Blackstone. There's the economy you read about in theheadlines, and then there's the one taking shape inside companies every day. If you're interestedin the latter, listen to Inside Blackstone. It's a new podcast from Blackstone where founders,CEOs, and investors tell it to you straight. Get an inside look at the technologies transformingindustries and big trends shaping the economy. The goal of the pot is simple, engaging
01:19conversations that make complex topics more accessible. Tune in every Tuesday and subscribe toInside Blackstone wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Officer's at Prof.G, where we answeryour questions about business, big tech entrepreneurship, and whatever else is on your mind.Have a question? Send us a voice recording at OfficeArversapprovede.com or post your question on the Skycalaway subreddit.We just might feature it in an upcoming episode.Question number one comes from, sure, why not? 9876 on Reddit.Hey, Scott, have you ever taken a reasonably deep wonky dive into what would really make housing affordable?I just keep wondering what would it really take.
02:04Thanks to this thoughtful question.So what do we, first off, what do we get wrong around housing?probably the worst thing we've done in housing is everyone complains about bureaucrats.The worst thing to happen to the housing market, especially for entrance, is we took power around housing permits out of the hands of bureaucrats, local civic officials, and we put it into the hands of homeowners.Now, what are the incentives of a homeowner?They live in a neighborhood.They like the fact there's not traffic.They like the fact.
02:35There's not construction.and free gift with purchase,and everyone, this is the atmospheric,is they know that the less housing that is built,there's the greater the scarcity of housing,which creates their primary assetor incentivizes or fuels an increase in value of their primary asset.So the people in charge of issuing permits for economic growth
02:59and to provide more housing to meet the needs of new entrantswho want to have their own house,the incentives of the people issuing permits is totally contrary to the needs of entrance.And that is a larger metaphor for the country the last 40 years.And that is the incentives have created regulatory capture such that the incumbentsdeny admission to the club such that their membership goes in value.This is a supply problem, not a demand problem.And the way we approach it and actually end up making things worse,
03:30It's the government provides tens of billions of dollars in what is a good intention, and that is creating more demand, low-income housing tax credits, tax advantage on mortgage interest rate, which is tax deductible, right? First-time homebuyers credit. All this does is create more demand when we don't address the supply side and maintain a national kind of nimbism as a public policy. We just, again, further escalate theprice of housing. We need to address the supply side. We need federal legislation and local legislationthat says, look, you cannot or you're not, you cannot access federal funds if you do not,or if you create a NIMBY-like situation where it's very hard to issue permits. We need to providetax credits to developers such that they have greater incentives to build. Some examples of placesthat have done a decent job, both Austin and Minneapolis, have increased affordability by gettingrid of certain regulations such as high limits or a regulation that you had to have a car for everyparking spot for every new unit built, which added on a ton of capital and expense to build
04:45sometimes underground garages in high-density areas. According to a 2020 Brookings study,local zoning regulation prohibit building anything other than single-family detached houseson 75% of the land in most U.S. cities, high limits and minimum lot sizes can further restrict apartments.Smaller multifamily buildings have become rare. Duplexes, triplexes, and fourplexes accounted for7% of new home completions in 1979. Get this, it's 1.1% in 2025. Why does that matter?Nationwide, 20% of middle income renters couldn't afford to pay their full rent at least onceduring 2025 up from 14% in 2024. Let's look at that same.number for low-income renters, it's 28% up from 24% in 2019. So I think housing is, so Robert Schiller did a
05:37study, and in his study, he was able to prove that housing underperforms most other assetclasses when you take into account, taxes, maintenance, and all those things. Why do I think thatstudy is incomplete? The psychic income and the component of wealth building is what is so powerfulabout housing. It is a step towards a key relationship, whether you have a serious boyfriend or girlfriend,whether you decide that you want a bigger house to take care of your parents at some point,whatever it might be, pride of ownership, something, you know, having that asset, owning your home,owning your nest has real psychic ROI. It just does. And while there are some cities where you're betteroff renting. Essentially, you take the yield, you take the, take the year-long cost of the rent,
06:28divided into the cost to buy it. And if it's above, if it's above a certain return, you probablywant to buy. If it's below a certain return, in other words, it's cheaper to rent. You want to rent.So I'm not saying everyone has to buy. That's a, you know, you never lose in real estate.And the American Dream, those are all brought to you by the American Realtors Association.It does make sense in many cities now in this market to rent, not to buy.And you want to speak to people smarter than me.You want to use AI.You want to talk to friends in the real estate industry and see if it makes sense for you to buy a home.
07:01Having said that, real benefits, psychic benefit, and also the economic benefit not captured in Schiller's analysis is the following.If someone says to you, you need to spend $2,100 a month and put it into a vanguard low-interest index fund, you get an opportunity to go to Cabo.you think, oh, you know, I really would like to upgrade my car, and okay, you don't put the $2,100that month into Vanguard. People typically make their mortgage payment, and that is it's a meansof forced investment, which is good for younger people. It's good for all of us if we're trying,you know, you don't want to have your house repossessed. So you tend to plan and impose a certainamount of self-discipline around investing in an asset that does grow. It may not grow as fast asthe S&P nationally over a long period. But if you get lucky in certain areas, it does grow as
07:52faster, even faster. And also, it's really taxed managed. When you sell it, you quarter of a millionor half a million if you're married of tax-free income on the upside of the sale. It also, again,see above mortgage interest rate tax deduction. So there's psychic benefit. It's forced savings.So I do think housing is an enormous issue for the United States. The thought of unleashing kind of theprivate sector while also reducing, if you will, the ability or the inability, you know,unshackling the housing market through economic incentives and also pulling down or loweringthe bar on what can get built by national and local nimbia laws. The big mistake we make inhousing is believing it's a demand problem flooding the market or buyers with additional tax
08:39credits, which just gives them more money on a same base of supply, which drives up to cost. Theissue is a supply problem, and we need to refocus our attention on the supply side versus thedemand side. I appreciate the question. Question number two comes from Jackson, who emailed us.He says, Hi, Scott. You've talked about selling Netflix at a loss early on and selling real estatein Petrero Hill. And I imagine those kinds of missed opportunities haunt you differently than astraight-up bad bet. I recently sold a large position in a big tech company I worked out for sixyears, forced to liquidate to close on a Brooklyn townhouse. The stock has since run up significantly,I know the sale was the right call for my family, but the number is real and it stings.
09:19How do you mentally separate? I made the right decision with the information and constraints I had from the raw regret of watching the gains you left behind.My brother, get used to it. It's just the cruel truth of capitalism is you're going to have a scarce amount of resources.At some point, you're probably going to decide that it's worth it to send your kid to a great school that he or she got into that just costs an arm and a leg and you're going to have to sell stuff.and some of the stuff you sell will go up in value.Now, the way you console yourself on a very existential levelor how I console myself is that something that has just changed my lifeis my colleague at NYU Adam Alter does studies regret,or one of the things he studies regret.
10:03And he spent a bunch of time in palliative careand interviewed people who are at the end.These are people that have zero fucks to give,have real perspective around the end of their life.and their biggest regrets in reverse order,number three, not staying in closer touch with their friends,two, not living the life they wanted to lead,not one, their parents or society or their spouse
10:21or themselves wanted to leador felt they should leadinstead of living the life they actually wanted to lead.But the number one regret of people at the endare they wish they'd been less hard on themselves.I'm like you.I have a tendency to focus on all my mistakes.When I did a speech at UC Santa Barbara on Friday,
10:39it went so well.And I'm happy about that.But I'm mostly fixated on the one or two things I could have done better or I said something stupid or provocative or I dropped an F bomb where I really didn't need to. That's what I obsess about. And that's part of being, I think, successful is really trying to get better at something and recognize your mistakes. I have a tendency to dwell on them. What is anxiety is about where, you know, fear of the future and depression is about fear of the past or upset over the past. And by the way, okay, the stock has gone up you've sold.but so likely has the value of that Brooklyn home you purchased.It's not like you took the money and put it in treasuries or invested in another stock or invested in Nike,which got cut in half in the last year or Netflix, which got cut in half the other year.You invested in Brooklyn real estate, which I think over the last 12 months has gone up.In addition, you've invested in your family.
11:33Working at a tech company and selling the stocks, that you can buy a home in Brooklyn or Brooklyn Townhouse,my brother, it's good to be you.That's what you call the mother of good problems.That means you're in a relationship.That means you probably have kids.It means, for God's sake, you had the money in the stock to afford a townhouse from Brooklyn,which probably puts you in the top 1% of Americans.So this is a really good problem, my brother.
11:58Whenever you sell stock, it's just very unlikely that you can time the top and time the bottom.You need to time your life, and that's what you've done here.You needed the money for your family, for a townhouse.You've probably made money in that townhouse already.Maybe not as much as this tech stock you sold.But, okay, it sucks to be an adult.This is not, this is an inconvenience, not a problem.And again, don't be hard on yourself.
12:25You did the right thing.Thanks for the question.We'll be right back after a quick break.Support for the show comes from Framer.Picture this.You launch a website and your whole team's cell.Then the support tickets start to roll in and put a damper on the mood.That's when you could use a website platform that lets teams build, ship, and improve their
12:50sites faster than ever while getting every detail right.For that, you could use Framer.It's a complete website platform, not just a builder, so teams can launch and keep improvingtheir sites in one place.Framer lets you prompt, inspect, edit, and publish in one place at a whole new pace.On Framer, AI agents and humans work in tandem.Agents bring speed and scale while people bring taste, judgment, and control, and that all takesplace in the same workspace where the real site is designed, managed, reviewed, and published.
13:16Framer is an enterprise-level solution that the world's leading brands, including perplexity andMero, rely on to build their websites. Learn how you can get more out of your site from aFramer specialist or get started building for free today at Framer.com slash Prop G for 30%off a Framer pro-annual plan. That's framer.com slash prop G. Rules and restrictions may apply.Support for the show comes from Vanta. As AI adoption grows, so do your company's security risks andrequirements. New frameworks, audits, and vendors keep rolling on, but your team isn't gettingany bigger. Most compliance tools promise automation, but you're really stuck doing all the workby hand, chasing screenshots, validating controls, and playing catch-up when audit season comes
13:57around again. Vanta works differently. Their agentic trust platform is built to scale with you,not slow you down. With over 1,400 automated tests across more than 400 integrations, Vanta collectsevidence and monitors your controls year-round. You can cut your audit prep by 82%. Plus, you canaccess the Vanta agent everywhere you work, whether your team is in Vanta every day or livingin tools like Clod or Cursor. They work around the clock from full program context, so nothingslips through the cracks. The numbers back it up. Vanta delivers a 526% ROI over three years and paysfor itself in just three months. Over 16,000 fast-growing companies like Ramp, Rider, and Harveysave time and resources while scaling fast with Vanta. Learn more at Vanta.com slash prop G
14:38and get $1,000 off. That's VANTA.com.I cash PropChi for $1,000 off.Unlock unlimited free grocery delivery with PC Express Pass.Shop online and get the same low, no-frills prices delivered.Get your first year of PC Express Pass for just $2.50 a month.Learn more at no-frails.ca.Welcome back.Our next question comes from a listener on Reddit.
15:07A live shallot 6780 says,Greetings, Prof-Chi.I'm a 35-year-old man and my wife and I left New York to move to Portland, Maine, to start a family.We've been trying to start a family for three years now, and I can say that infertility has been the hardest experience of my life.While we're blessed with financial security thanks to good luck and hard work, two rounds of IVF have been unsuccessful and we're considering pursuing surrogacy.The most challenging part of this experience has been the social aspect, as it is quite frankly painful and dull to hang out with parents and their young children.It's someone who became a father in his 40s.What kind of advice could you offer someone who's likely to become a parent later in life?
15:44thanks for everything you do.I'm choosing my words carefully because I think this is so important.And I don't know if my experience is the same experience as anyone else's.So according to the CDC, about one in five married women ages 15 to 49 with no prior births,are unable to get pregnant after a year of trying.It's so weird, we spent so long trying not to get pregnant.And then what's strange is we get into our 30s or 40s,then we have trouble getting pregnant.
16:16So this is something that, as people are having kids later and later,this is something that is very common across households.And people are becoming parents later.The average age of first-time fathers rose from 27 in 1972 to 31 in 2016.And I just read a crazy stat that there's more women having babies over the age of 40 nowthan under the age of 21.Teen pregnancy is way down, which is a good thing.Lower birth rates are, they just are.
16:42they're a bad thing for the economy. If you want to look at a country that goes into recession,just look at the ratio of young people to old people. We do better actually than most nationsbecause people are still having kids here. And immigration is a means or a pressure valve.If things get really seriously, you let in more immigrants, although our current administrationdoesn't seem to get the memo on that. But demographically, the U.S. is, quite frankly,it's less screwed than many nations in Europe, Japan, and China.Anyways, what is the advice for having kids later than life?I got lucky.
17:16I think it was really good for me.I had kids at 42 and 45.I didn't want to have children.I like being selfish.I'm a naturally selfish person.I didn't like enjoy other people's children.So I wasn't against it, but I just wasn't for it.And I liked my life.
17:30And I met someone who I fell very much in love with who wanted kids.And I said, I don't want kids.She said, I'm not going to be with someone.or I can't be with someone long term that doesn't want kids.I said, wait, I've reconsidered.I want kids.And we got pregnant almost right away.I said to her, I don't want to get married.
17:48She said, I don't need to get married.It's kind of called my bluff.And in the next three years, we had two kids.Look, I feel like there's never a good time to have kids.Whether you're in your 20s, you're too young,and your 30s, you're working your ass off.In your 40s, you start to feel like you're too old.I liked having kids a bit older for the following reasons.
18:06I just think I'm a better dad.I'm older. I realize that life isn't about getting a return on your relationships. It's about being on the right side of the ledger. And then if you exit this world, having given more than you've gotten from your relationships, which sounds weird, but, you know, a pretty good obituary might be the vast majority of people in his life felt there's no way they could be as good a friend, as good a spouse, as good a son as this guy was. You know, that wouldn't be a bad obituary, right? So, asYou just get more perspective.I think you get more generous.I think you get more patient.And also, just to be blunt, having kids later in life meant I could spend more time with them.And I wasn't as freaked out because I just, I had more economic security.Now, when my kids were born, it was, my first kid was born in 2007.
19:00And just as the market was crashing came kind of marching out of his mom.And the first thing I felt was economic security.Had I felt that economic security when I was younger and I didn't have kind of currents in the marketplace,I just think it would have been incredibly stressful raising kids in a home, not of economic stress,but where I'm basically working all the time trying to build economic security and didn't have a lot of money.I was pouring all my money back into the business.So more perspective, more maturity, more generosity, and some economic security.You know, the downside is the following.
19:35I may or may not be around to see my grandkids.I think I will.It's an incredible motivation to try and stay healthy.I do think kids keep you younger.And there's some studies that show that having kids in the housekind of slows the aging process and you do, you know,picking them up and running them around and playing football in the backyard.It's just good for you.
19:55And it's incredibly motivating for me in terms of staying healthy.Also, I think it just makes you a better person.You know, that saying be the man your dog thinks you are.that's nothing compared to, I really want my sons to admire me.And I had Senator Murphy on the show a few years ago,and he just said something.I asked for his advice around what he tells his sons or his kids,and he says, I don't really tell them much.
20:22They don't listen, they observe.I try to just model good behavior.That sounds very simple, but it's just so true.And that's made me a better man,trying to be, trying to just set a really good example, right?Try to be polite, kind, try to walk the walk, you know, be good to their mom, be reallyrespectful of women, constantly talk about and model and give money to people less fortunatesuch that they realize their privilege.
20:53It's great to have kids when you're young if you, if you have the support system and a greatpartner because it would be awesome to have kids my age and be in a very important.my 40s. It would just be fantastic. I would love that. But at the same time, you know, life is justtradeoffs. At the same time, being a little bit more economically secure and generous with my ownemotions is also a huge advantage. In some, my brother, what I am sure of is that despite the anxiety,despite the resource commitment, despite the real moments of, you know, having kids as a surgicalprocedures, Jimmy Carr says, and that is, you're going to have your heart taken out and it's going tolive outside your body for the next 18 to 25 years. I worry, I've never worried about anything,
21:42a fraction as much as I worry about my kids. But at the same time, I love the saying grief andanxiety or receipts for love, you're just never going to have something that you feel, in my opinion,or most people, more purpose and more investment in. It's a long-winded way of saying,there's a trade-off, there's some good, there's some bad about having kids when you're older,But the one thing I can tell you or recommend and urge is if you have a good partner or someeconomic security, oh yeah, for God's sakes, don't think about that stuff.Just do what you can to have kids, even if it means IVF, even if it means a surrogate.You know, adoption is a wonderful means of participating.
22:22I just, I am shocked, literally shocked.Not how much I enjoy, but how much reward and purpose I've had from having kids.All of this is to say, my brother, don't overthink it.Just get on with it and have kids.Our next question comes from Jake, who texted us.He says, hi, ProPGie.I'm a 27-year-old guy living in Chicago.I work at a job I absolutely love and I'm fairly well compensated.
22:47That said, I've always had the entrepreneurial bug.Recently, my dad came to me with a generally intriguing business idea in his field.He has been a practicing physician for 20-plus years.I'm excited at the prospect of starting this company and working closely with my father.That's that. I'm struggling to take the leap because of how much I generally love my current job.Any advice for someone in my shoes or insights on starting a company as a father-son duo?Appreciate the consideration.Okay, this is where I likely am going to give you a different answer, and that is we romanticize
23:16entrepreneurship and people are really generous with your economic security and your money,and we'll say, go for it, start a business.I think it depends on what's happening.If it's a raw startup with your dad, no matter how good at it.of an idea it is, startups, the infant mortality is just crazy. So many moons, no business makessense. No new business makes sense at the time. Otherwise, it would already exist. So it's crazy,but sometimes it ends up being crazy genius and carves out a niche. And in exchange for taking thatincredible risk, there's more incredible upside. But be clear, five to six out of seven new
23:53businesses aren't around in like seven or eight years. So if it's a raw startup, that's adifferent, that's a different risk scenario. If it's your dad has a business that's already going andhe wants you to take it over, you want to go into the family business. I teach a lot of kids at Sternwho are going into the family business, but first they and their parents want them to go work atIBM or somewhere else, get some skills, learn how to navigate a place where people aren't going tokiss your ass because of your last name, right? So if it's an existing business that's already succeeding,I think that's a different risk profile. Now, what I'm going to tell you is I'm going to assume this is astartup and a great idea, but you have a great job. I would stick at the great job for a while.
24:35I think there's no wealth creator like the U.S. corporation or existing platforms on a risk-adjustedbasis. If you're kind of on, I'm going to call it a rocket ship, but a plane that's ascendingand they like you and you have senior level sponsorship, you have stock options, you have goodbenefits, you like it, you don't go into a deep funk on a Sunday night. I think you want toride that out. I think if you're fortunate enough to be at a platform that brings resources,intellectual property, other people, an environment and culture where it leverages the wholeto make it greater than the sum of its parts, I think we romanticize entrepreneurship and diminishthe value in how much reward psychologically and economically you can get from being associated
25:19with a bigger platform that is doing really well. Also, you need to speak to a bunch of peopleabout this. Be very honest and open about the opportunity with your dad. Be very open and honest aboutwhat you're doing right now, your compensation, how you're accelerating. Also, family businesses,especially a raw startup, raw startups are so emotional and so stressful. And I worry that if thingsdon't go well, through no fault of your own, the market is bigger than any individual. But if thingsdon't go well that it might put stress on your relationship with your father, both the opportunityyou gave up, you know, disappointment, the thing you're doing together isn't working. Family businessesmake me a little bit, or starting a business with a family member makes me a little bit nervous
26:02because you're putting a lot of eggs in one basket. So I have a bias towards if you're out ofcorporation and doing well to stick there as a young man and see where it goes. And then if thingsbegin to flatline, maybe revisit. I would imagine this opportunity with your dad will be there for a whilethat it's not perishable. But I think, again, we inflate and romanticize entrepreneurship and don'tappreciate how powerful it can be if you have figured out a way to be good in a corporation.I worked in Morgan Stanley in the late 80s right out of college. That was an incredible opportunityof growing platform, but I was awful at it. I was politically immature.and I wasn't good at the source material.
26:48I mean, I wasn't good at it.It just was so obvious I did not know how to operate in a big company.It sounds like you have those skills.And those are real skills.Navigating the bullshit of a corporation,of which there's going to be an infinite amount,establishing the right relationships,getting along, playing well with others,
27:07living in a state of disinformation or misinformation.I remember once my company got acquired by Gardner,they shut our website down.I couldn't even find out who madedecision. And that was very frustrating for me. Anyways, long-winded way of saying pull together akitchen cabinet, outlined both scenarios. But I personally have a bias toward sticking with thegreatest well-generator in history on a risk-adjusted basis, and that is platforms calledU.S. corporations. Anyways, it sounds like you're cursed with opportunity. And a great problem
27:40is the problem of not what to do, but what not to do. I appreciate the question.We'll be right back after a quick break.Support for the show comes from IM8.Everybody's already busy, keeping track of your supplements shouldn't feel like a second job.IM8 is a way to simplify your supplement routine once and for all.IMA8's daily ultimate essentials has 16 supplements in one drink for $2.61 a day.Co-founded by David Beckham and built by leading doctors and researchers,IM8 was designed by the world's best.
28:1595% of people who tried it for 12 weeks felt more energy.And that's from a clinical trial conducted by the San Francisco Research Institute.Our very own ed tried IMAID.I love it.I take it every morning before I work out.It makes me feel hydrated, refreshed.It makes me feel healthy, ready to pump iron in the gym.So I'm really enjoying it, and I assume you would too.
28:39Go to IM8health.com slash prop G right now or click on the link in the description and use codePropG for a free welcome kit, buy free travel sachets, plus 10% off your order.That's code PropG at IMAhealth.com slash propG.Code PropG at IMATHealth.com slash propG.These statements have not been evaluatedover the Food and Drug Administration.This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.Support for the show comes from USA Facts.
29:11I've interviewed countless politicians,and if there's one thing we all find disconcerting,is when they butcher the facts with some bias half-truth.Give us a break already.So when I had the chance to debate conservative podcaster Ben Shapiro,our natural response was bringing on. Why? Because it was sponsored by USA FACS, and each debate segmentstarted with a presentation of government data and facts, employment, government spending, income data,housing, and more. The topic? The American Dream. Is it still within reach? We argued, we found some
29:43common ground, we actually debated, and there were no personal attacks. Watch the full debate onthe USA FAC's YouTube channel. We think you'll find it unlike any other debate. That is,is entertaining and informative. We hope you check it out. This is advertiser content from Yahoo Scout.So each year I ask my students what are the most important decisions they're going to make.A key decision is where you decide to live. I'm a big fan of moving to a city when you're young.So then the question is, well, okay, what city? So we're going to use Yahoo's AI powered answer engine,Yahoo Scout, to try and figure out what is the best city fora young person looking to break into tech.
30:32All right.Let's see what we get here.San Francisco.No surprise there.Unmatched density of venture capital and technical talent.New York.This is kind of surprising.I've actually read that New York, in some instances, number one.
30:44Here's a surprise, Raleigh.Enterprise software, high concentration of youthful residents and affordability.I think that's why Rale would probably stand out where I would suggest that it should be in the consideration set.Okay.Now let's assume you are totally unlike me.I'm the great endorsement and enjoy the outdoors and want to find a city to live in that is great if you're into the outdoors.So it feels obvious, but it wasn't to me when I did the search, Salt Lake City.So this is interesting.
31:10Balance Career launch pads.The one that really surprises me a little bit here, Pittsburgh.Pittsburgh in the house.So I think this does what you wanted to do.There's going to be a couple points of discovery that will legitimately move into your selection set.and you may end up making, quite frankly, just a better decision because you'll have more data pointsand things you probably wouldn't have included again in your opportunity set.So all this with Yahoo's AI-powered answer engine, Yahoo Scout.
31:39You can start exploring at Scout.com.Welcome back.Our final question comes from our listener who emailed us.Hey, Scott, my wife and I don't see eye-to-eye when it comes to child versus marriage dynamic.Our highest priority is to respond to his every want, not just.his needs. She's been told by Instagram, child development experts to, one, distract and show affectionto the child to stop their crying ASAP regardless of the situation. Get used to the ideaof roommate syndrome with your spouse as the child should be your primary focus. How do millennial
32:13fathers navigate with some might call over-feminization, especially when raising boys? Thanks foryour time and wisdom. Oh, gosh, I'm just not an expert here. I just, like, some, just some data.millennial and Gen Z dads are spending twice as much time with their kids as they did 40 years ago,and working dads are now spending more time with their kids than working moms did 40 years ago.So dads are actually stepping up, and I do believe that probably the most accretive thing for societyin terms of crime, the deficit, mental well-being is if more dads were more engaged in their kids' lives.And we're doing that. And I think that has indirect but very strong correlation.with plummeting crime rates.
33:00And the fact that suicide, opiates, deaths of despair are all on the decline in the U.S.,which is a great thing.And I realize there's a lot of different factors.But more engaged fathers is, I think, just an incredible, if you will, I don't know, antidote, steroid, fix, neosporin, whatever you want to call it.It's good.Let's just say it's good, right?It's a good thing.I think as it relates to your relationship, I think you have honest conversations if you think
33:34your partner about parenting. But brother, for the most part, when it comes to parenting,I think you're, when people ask me why I'm in London, I say, because it makes no sense,98% of my business in the U.S., I say honestly, around life decisions, I'm an influence or not adecision maker. Because you're a wife.and this is sexist, it's just going to have greater intuition around the kid, around how to behave,around how to treat the kid. Mothers are elemental. Dad's, in my opinion, for the first,at least first few months, are supplemental. That's not to say they're not important,but the mom is essential. And I know with my partner, she'll come down and say, also, we will
34:20have dinner with our youngest, and she'll say something bad happened at school that I can tell.What are you talking about? It's fine. And then we'll say, we'll have. We'll have done.find out later he bombed his test or he didn't make the you know did or didn't make the sock she has justif he gets up when he was little if he would get up in the middle of the night she would she wouldsense his feet getting out of bed and be like and immediately pop up and be and say oh he's awake or he's uphe's about to come into our room and i'm not suggesting you shouldn't make an effort i'm notsuggesting you shouldn't be there i'm not suggesting this should absolve you of anyresponsibility to be engaged in how you raise your son. But I think when it comes to child
34:59rearing, you defer to the mom. I think she's just going to have better intuition. Also, I think our job asdad is not only to be a great dad, but be an incredible partner and be super supportive of the momwho has a tendency, or usually society just expects so much from women during these years.Be a great mom. Be nice. But also, we need you to be a baller. Maybe a baller. Maybe asemi-baller while you have young children at home, but we need you, you can't just be a mom,you need to also, or the expectation is also, you know, potentially be great at work.I mean, oh, and if you can, do Pilates and stay very attractive. And also be just a nice,civic-minded, I mean, the expectations on new moms in a capital society are enormous.
35:45Not that there are on huge expectations on dad around being a good provider, but this is alla long-winded way of saying, okay, have open and honest discussions around parenting.that's healthy, be generous with each other.But my approach, and maybe it's my way, it's maybe not the right way,has been to provide my viewpoint and then say, okay, the decision model,as I give you my viewpoint, but as it relates to the kids in their schooland the approach to discipline, I'm going to defer in most cases to the momand recognize part of being a really good dad
36:17is your kids seeing how good you are and how respectful you areof mom. And I defer to her judgment sometimes in front of them on purpose. So they see that mom,you know, mom is sort of, you know, she's the sheriff in town, so to speak. That's not to say I don'tget involved in disciplining. That's not to say that the discipline I provide, quite frankly,let me make another sexist comment. I think dad has a different form of discipline that, quite frankly,the kids take more seriously. I'm not talking about, you know, I'm not talking about being physicalwith them, which I am not. I'm talking about it. The reality is you're bigger and have a deepervoice, and oftentimes the kids just take dad more seriously when he weighs in. So this is something
37:01we all struggle with. There is no owner's manual. Every book I've read on parenting,it contradicts the one before it, but a couple things I am certain of is, or the what's worked for me,defer to the mom on key decisions around the kid as she has better intuition than you.And remember that part of being a good dad is being just a fantastic,supportive partner.Appreciate the question.That's all for this episode.To submit a question for next time,
37:27email a voice recording to office hoursofprofreymedia.com.That's office hours ofprofetymedia.comor posted on the Scott Galloway subreddit.This episode was produced by Jennifer Sanchez,Laura Jeneer, and Asher Schwartz.Our editor is Brad Williams,Cammy Rieke,
37:43is our social producer,Jouberos, is our technical director,and Catherine Dillon is our executive producer.Thanks for listening to the Proptee Podfrom ProctiPod from Proct.Game Media.Unlock unlimited free grocery delivery with PC Express Pass.Shop online and get the same low No Frills prices delivered.
38:05Get your first year of PC Express Pass for just $2.50 a month.Learn more at nofrills.ca.Every year, Ontarians win billions playing with OLG.In fact, there were over 200 million wins with OLG last year worth $2.7 billion in prices.That's like 12 wins for every person in Ontario.An average of over 380 OLG wins every minuteor about 190 wins by the time this commercial is over.With OLG, winning happens here.
38:34From Ancaster to Wickwemicon, play at olg.ca.And winning could happen to you too.Winner, Gagnon.Tim's new energy infusers, powered by Monster Energy Zero Ultra,help you stay alert for whatever the afternoon brings,like crushing your to-do list,or figuring out what's for dinner,or taking the dog for her evening lock.
38:54You're welcome, Pickles.Try Tim's new energy infusers,an invigorating blue raspberryand pink raspberry mojito zero sugar.High caffeine content.This product may not be suitable for everyone.See in store or on the Timsappin site for details.Available in Canada,
39:08excluding Quebec for a limited time only.