The Ryan Leak Podcast - Thriving After Trauma and Drama with Milwaukee Bucks Chaplain Ken Lock

Episode Date: January 18, 2023

This season we are interviewing people we think are next-level in light of Ryan's new book called Leveling Up: 12 Questions to Elevate your Personal and Professional Development. Today's guest is the pastor, speaker, and chaplain of the Milwaukee Bucks, Ken Lock. Trauma and drama can have a significant impact on an individual's well-being, but the good news is it is possible to thrive after experiencing these events. In this podcast, we will explore different strategies and tools that can aid in the healing process and help individuals move forward in a positive direction. We will begin by discussing the importance of self-care and self-compassion. This includes activities such as exercise, mindfulness practices, and therapy. These can be incredibly powerful in helping individuals process their emotions and build resilience. We will also touch on the importance of finding a supportive community, whether that be through therapy groups, support groups, or close friends and family. Having a strong support system can provide a sense of safety and validation, which is crucial in the healing process. Additionally, we will discuss the importance of finding meaning and purpose post-trauma. This can be achieved through hobbies, volunteer work, or even a career change. Having a sense of purpose can give individuals a sense of direction and fulfillment. Overall, this podcast will provide a comprehensive look at various strategies and tools that can aid in the healing process and help individuals thrive after experiencing trauma and drama.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to followership with Ryan Lake Podcasts designed to help people on the other side of leadership. So many resources are designed to help leaders. This is a resource to help everybody else. I know everybody can be a leader. However, there are sometimes you just find yourself. You're a part of a team. You can be frustrated with your place in your career or your life.

And so this is a resource designed to help you in that particular season of your life. Over the past couple of episodes, I've been interviewing people who I think are next level. I just wrote a book called Leveling Up 12 Questions to Elevate Your Personal and Professional Development. And there are a very select group of people in my life that I look at and I go, this is a person that is absolutely next level that I think my audience should learn from. One of those people is none other than my brother Ken Locke. Ken Lott is a pastor in Milwaukee. He is the Milwaukee Bucks Chaplain.

He is also the Milwaukee Bucks Barber. He's also a keynote speaker. I was looking at a couple of his posts on Instagram last week. He's a singer, songwriter. He has one of the fastest growing churches in America. Like they don't have enough services because they are. are bursting at the seams in Milwaukee, making a huge impact. Yeah.

And he's, we've gotten to know each other for probably what over the last about year. Yeah. And I hear this phrase all the time. Brian, you got to connect with this guy. You guys are just going to hit it off. Brian, you got to connect with this guy. You just going to hit it up. Brian, you got to connect with this guy.

You can hit him. I hear that every single. We all you got to go lunch with this guy. You got to get to, you. And like, and again, I'm not. mad at nobody, but it's like sometimes I connect with the person and I'm just going, why did they think that me

and this person would talk longer than five minutes? Like I feel disrespectful. Like either they think low on me or something like something's off. But when Jordan Montgomery said, dude, you gotta connect with can, I think you guys

are going to hit it off. What we schedule, it had to be what, 20 minutes, 30 minutes? Yeah, there's like a 20 minute call. 20 minute call. We talked. for, I think, two and a half hours. Like, instantly. Instantly. So anyways, it is a pleasure

to have you on the podcast, man. It really is. So, ladies gentlemen, welcome Kenlock to followership with Ryan Lee. Man, listen, that's my absolute honor. I love Ryan's intro because he just really lays the pathway so amazingly smooth.

Like he wasn't, it wasn't a call, number one. It was me trying to be mentored. It was to me like, hey, bro, like, I got like 12 questions, you know what I mean? Gracious enough to, like, you know, like, you're a big dream, but you're motivated and you have passion. And you know what? Like, dude, I want to help you in whatever way I can. And then, ever since then, I just held him to his co-tailed him. You know, we've been going to-law.

Nah, no, no, no. It's this, this, yeah, we're not, we're not going to do name dropping on this episode, but. Yeah. You're right. You're right. I don't even want to start. I don't want to start your game dropping. I don't think you want to start that game, right? You are on TV with some of these people. I am not.

Mine is very underneath the table in a dark corner in a restaurant. They're sneaking in the back. That's cool. I mean, you choose to be that way. You know, that's a real leader's dude. You know what I don't mean? We got to.

We got to. I just serve and keep going. But, you know, people like me, I was young. I'm on TV. I didn't know any better. I'm right here smiling, right? But you know, it's really cool to see what was on TV. The Milwaukee Bucks started circling up and praying at the end of games.

And I'm watching them play on like a Sunday afternoon. And I see you huddling up the whole team. And then even other teams began to join you, which is just so cool to see just a little bit of your. influence and impact. Man, one of the questions I have for you for our audience, you know,

you're doing so many great things now that can be publicly seen, whether it be in an NBA stadium or at your church or on social media. I want to talk about the anonymous years. I want to talk about the years where not a lot of people,

people knew your name. Yeah. I want to, I want to, I want you to talk about that season of your life where you were just grinding and just putting your head down and just serving. What, what did you,

I think sometimes people can look at somebody's highlights and think that's, that's just their whole life. That's just how it's always been. Yeah. But I, I know that that's, that's just not the case for, for a lot of people.

So give us a little bit of behind the scenes, man. What were your, what were some of your followers? or shit days like. Yeah, man, you're talking about many of what I would consider like formative years of kind of like your heart, your integrity, what your character is. And my dad is a pastor.

So, you know, serving in my pop's church. And it was so much fun there because it wasn't a really large church by any stretch of the imagination. So I got a chance to serve in almost every capacity. You know, whenever you're in like one of those smaller organizations, it's like you can be anything. You can sign it to be the janitor. to be the kids director.

You could sign that. Or volunteered to do so. Right. And they kind of need you to, right? It's kind of like the elephant in the room. So who's going to mop the floor? I guess I will. I guess I will.

So, man, just really serving here. It taught me so much as far as the value of serving without really any applause or any recognition. And kind of this mindset. instead of, you know, whatever you can help with, just help, right? Without, without there needing to be a huge blow-up of, hey, this is what my hands are doing. This is where I need to be recognized. And so I really-

Pause. Pause, pause, pause, pause, pause, pause, pause. I think what you just said there is vitally important for people to get in their soul. I think that's so important because if our audience and our listeners were honest today, it's probably their biggest internal gripe that they're doing something, putting their hands to something. And they're not being given credit. They're not being valued at that level.

What do you do with that? Yeah, no, I'm happy you ask that, because I do think that like every human being, you know, because I would be lying about to say at some point it didn't cross my mind. So I think every human being will, while just putting all of your effort, your energy, your time, resources,

maybe mental power towards something and you're serving or you're giving, even more than what's asked of you, right? You're trying to like go the extra mile. You're trying to follow correctly and give correctly and serve at a proper position of your heart and all that stuff. Every once in a while, you get to a space of it's like, hey, is it being recognized? And am I being value for what it is that I brings to the table?

And I think that that question is okay, but like parking and hanging out in that space can be very unhealthy. Because it turns into a thing of where all of your serving starts to turn inward focus. And it almost becomes like a, hey, why am I not being honored to the magnitude that I think I should be honored? And it almost becomes like self-worship. You can get stuck in it to the point of where you will purposely start giving less of yourself. Because you feel as if somebody else didn't give you the appreciation that you think that you deserve. Now, on a surface, it seems fine. But when you dig deeper under it, what you're actually saying is, I'm going to,

to purposely minimize my impact because someone else didn't recognize my value. And that's the worst thing you could ever do. It's the worst thing you could ever do. It's to show up less than what you are because somebody else didn't recognize you. You gotta show up for yourself every single time. And so for me, I showed up to serve

with the best of my ability and I didn't recognize what was growing in me at that time. Because you know, when you're serving in this space, you're not always forward thing. You're not always saying, one day this season or this space is gonna be really helpful for me in my future. That's not what you're thinking.

You're like, Right. I'm just in the grinding gears right now. And so I stay focused in the grinding gears, but I learned so much about fortitude. I learned so much about the real services, and this the posture of the heart is not necessarily the applause that comes with it. Wow.

When did you know that that particular season was up for you? I'm thinking of somebody that's listening to this right now, and they're trying to decide whether or not they're going to give, their job another year, give their leader another year, or when is it time for them to apply for promotion? When is it time for them to go, I've done my time. Nobody can ever define how many years is enough, but how did you, you know, how did you make that jump from going, okay, I've been serving my dad. Now it's actually time for me to actually start my own deal. Yeah, absolutely. For me, it was when I was able to look up one day and realize that there was no other space for me to impact.

And I think that's like a hard conversation because you can see it from a very optimistic perspective or a very pessimistic perspective. So for me, it was very optimistic. It wasn't to walk away with the gripe or negative, but I just realized that I had outgrown the spectrum. place. Right? And so they were still, my dad's church at that time was a very traditional church. And a lot of what had become a burning pasture for me, it just didn't fit the model of what they were trying to create. And I realized that me trying to infuse what was in me, but would have actually started to cause a conflict with what they wanted to do. And so to honor what they wanted to do, which is to stay married to their idea of what church looked like. The only way to properly honor it was to disconnect so that I didn't kill my passion at the same time. So for me, it was optimistic. It was let me honor you. I thank God for the years I've served here. I was there for 10 years.

Poured a bunch of honor on my dad and a bunch of honor on the work that they've done at the same time realizing that what was in me just didn't match the format. And I couldn't expect them to change their format to match me. It's not fair to their identity. some people look at it from more of a pessimistic mindset which is like I can't grow here you know they're they're stifling me and you know I just realize I need to step away now while that may be true

in some cases I've also found in many cases it's not necessarily a skill set that needs to grow as much as it is a character trait that needs to grow I think that sometimes you know people have the skill sets Okay, maybe I can't grow in skill here, but there's still some more character traits in me that need to be developed while I'm still yet in this space. And so I think that when walking away is no longer painful,

then you know it's time to walk away. Because it isn't a bad thing. It isn't a bad feel. I'm not walking away with the bad taste and then trying to create something out of the position. It really is a position of purpose. I know that my time here is served, and I appreciate what I've learned in this space,

but it's time to create some difference. Yeah. So you make that transition. You are to Milwaukee Bucks, Chaplain and Barber. Tell our audience briefly how that came to be. Because you were still in a serving. And here's whenever people ask me about working with professional sports teams or anything that I do, it's just like, man, how did you get that?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, like I woke up. and like applied or was like trying. Does that make sense? It's like that. That wasn't my. And that is some people's stories. This is not my story.

And I know that's not yours. So tell people that story because I want them to be able to walk away with that. Like, man, be faithful with what is in front of you and let the rest. Does that make sense? And that is, that's been my story. And I'd love for them to hear yours. Yeah, yeah. No, absolutely.

I mean, I became a barber because, you know, I was when I was serving in my dad's church, always buy vocational, so serving there, but also still barbering as my full-time employment. So I started a player who got traded to the bugs, winning got his hair cut in the local barbershop, didn't like it. He made a tweet about it. Hey, worst haircut in my life, first day in Milwaukee, hooray, right? Somebody sends him my name. Had a buddy to play in the NBA at that time. Went to high school together.

He sends him my name like, yo, if you're Milwaukee, I got a barber named King. You should check him out. So that guy calls me the same day that he makes the tweet because he wants me to fix the bad hair cut. So I come and I fix the bad haircut. He likes it. He goes to practice the next day, he says, hey, yo, I got a new guy named Kim.

He fixed my bad hair cut. They called me down to the second day to fix another player's hair cut. When I'm fixing this hair cut, then I cut another player, OJ. Mail walked in. Like, yo, give me a quick edge up. After he walks out, Jabari Parker walks in. Like, yo, can you just give me a quick lining?

Jabari Park's done and Yonis walks in. Like, hey, man, I heard you got those guys together. You feel like cutting my hair. And so in a matter of a week, I pretty much started cutting seven guys on the team. And so the team reaches out. Like, hey, you already got some relationships with the guys. They obviously love you, which you like to be the team Barbara.

And I said yes so fast. I don't think she was done asking the question. I know I'm not even, honestly, I don't know if she was going to ask me. But I said yes. Right, right. So I became the team Barbara at that time. And in the process, I actually started our church. But I never told the guys I was a pastor because what I didn't want to do was try to use my personal relationship

to funnel them into the church. So I just couldn't hear. And somebody else found out through one of the staff that I was a pastor. So it was Malcolm Boggner at the time. He comes, he's like, yo, you're a pastor? I'm like, yeah, he's like, no way.

And I'm like, yeah, I kind of actually am. You know, like, kind of. And he's like, yo, I got a bunch of issues and questions just about faith in church. Honestly, I've never gotten answered. I'm like, hey, I'll give it a try. I'm not going to say I have every answer for you, but I don't mind, no, talking about it.

And so after I got on cutting his hair, we had a two-hour conversation in his bathroom about the faith. And then he ended up asking me to pray and gave his life to Christ. You know what I'm saying? Like in an apartment building. Next thing you know, I look up and he himself and he's invited like three or four guys to church. You know, so I look up on a Sunday and all these guys are not coming to church. And the team calls again, right? Similar call.

Like, we don't know what you're doing, but we can't get these guys to go to church. chapel, which is across the hall from the locker room, and you get them to drive 30 minutes to come to church. And what are you doing? I'm like, I do not know. To be totally honest. I don't have any secret thoughts. I just try to be relatable and I try to be as transparent as possible.

So I was like to be the chaplain? And once again, I say yes without knowing what it entails. I had absolutely an idea. I had no metric for what was going to be expected of me, but I just believe that I would be able to fulfill the duties of the road. So I'm like, yep. I'll do it. I'll be the chaplain. And that's how I started.

You know, since 2019, I've been to the NBA chapter. Wow. So 2019, you start a church as well. Yep. COVID. COVID. That's. Which is not a church planner's friend or a church's friend.

Anybody's friend, for that matter. Any business friend, any organization's friend. And yet, through social, unrest, racial unrest in Milwaukee, which it got hot and heavy. It got ugly. Man, your church thrived. Your relationship with the Bucks thrive. They won an NBA championship.

Did you get a ring? Yeah, I should have had it on right now. You know, I could have. Hey, I wouldn't do nothing without that ring. Y'all better pray to God I don't get a championship ring I'm gonna be a different person I'm gonna be a whole

a whole different person if I get a ring I promise you that y'all did not ever let me get a ring I'm changing my phone number everything I'm getting a new email y'all better pray to God I don't get it. This is a champion league

I'm gonna get a new website it's gonna be everything everything which is why God does not let me get one because he knows what I would do. So things were excelling in almost every area of your life.

Absolutely. Yeah. And then one day we're on the phone and I said, how are you doing? And you said, man, I'm getting a divorce. And I was like, it threw me off. I think you remember. I think you still remember my reaction.

I was like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Like, we were just talking, like, just a couple of weeks ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's amazing how fast things can change. And it's so interesting, you know, whatever the statistics are, it's around half of marriages that work out. Yeah. And I particularly have been watching you since the. divorce.

Yeah. And talking to you since the divorce and in my humble opinion and estimation, you've gone about life post-divorce in such a healthy way. Yeah. Like you've continued to just keep moving forward. And I think divorce can sometimes put people in somewhat of a social timeout. Yeah. It kind of saw people.

Yeah. And statistically speaking, half our listeners have probably been divorced. I'm just throwing out a number. I don't know exactly. But I want, and not just people that have lost a marriage, people have lost a couple of marriages. But I also think that there are so many people that just experience loss at a very high level.

and it can just derail their whole life. Man, it can wipe out five years, ten years of their life because they just, they went to the, they took the ball, ran to the corner, and they just stopped living. Man, they just stopped giving their best, man. And it's, I would imagine the difficulty of losing a marriage, especially having a very public life.

Yeah. that, man, that can be very like deabilitating for you. Yeah. And so I wonder what is it that you've said to yourself or what is it that you've heard from others that really helps you continue to move forward with a high level of integrity that I can speak to personally? Yes, sir.

A high level of accountability that I also can speak to personally that I think has allowed you. you to by no stretch of the imagination make it look easy or, oh, the boys, all right, just moved on. Like, it's not that, but I don't know. Is it the mission of God on your life that allowed you to continue to continue to move forward? Is it the look in your kids' eyes that you go, man, I'm going to do this for them?

Encourage people that haven't gotten things right the first time, but they still have to go function at a high level on their teams or organizations and in their life. Yeah, yeah. I mean, so it's a, I really do think it's perspective. One of the things I'll add is that I, you know, you asked me what was it, your kids, is God. It really is a, it's a compilation of all of those, though, you know what I'm saying? It's a compilation of all of it. So when you look at going to divorce, you know, it was married for 13 years, married really, really young, so I had only known one woman for 13 years, two kids out of it, two beautiful, amazing kids out of it. know, when you look at and you start to evaluate these situations,

you really can make a decision on how you're going to look at it. So one side of it, you can look at it from a very woeful, hey, woe is me. I gave all of this, here I stand, right? You know, very negative undertones. You know, we came this far just to lose. We invested so much just to end this way catastrophically. and allowing those phrases and those words to sit on your mind and your heart would just cripple you and debilitate you.

Wow. So many ways that if you're not careful, you are killing yourself while also grieving the death of a season. Wow. In your life. So for me, I really do have strong faith. So my faith plays a huge part where it's like I had to pause for myself and say, is what I'm going through right now

brand new information to God? It's not brand new to him. It's brand new to me. I'm shocked, but it's not brand new to him. And I started thinking like, okay, God put me in this position, allowed me to experience tremendous success while at the same time experiencing tremendous loss

in my personal life. And what did he want me see while in this space, while in the space that I'm in. And I started to see the good in all of it. As crazy as it sounded, I saw that, number one, that life for all of us is phasal. We go through phases. You know what I mean? And we go through spaces in life.

We have friends or family or relationships. Whether to be romantic or platonic, that are really, really close to us. And they serve us for an extended period of time. and then those relationships dissolve or they dissipate. And if we're not careful, instead of appreciating what we gained in those spaces, we only magnify the loss or the ending of that relationship, therefore making the ending bigger than the relationship itself.

Wow. So for me, it was like, I don't want to magnify the ending of it. Like, I learned so much from it. I've become a better man because of it. I've become a better father because of it, I better lean it because of it. And I'm now going to use this crazy change in not only life, but how I see life,

and use even some of the pains and difficulties that I've learned in it to add more value to others. And because I believe that everything that we go through is meant to not only help us, for us to reach back and help someone else, I've learned now that I've been positioned serve a group of people that in many cases are underserved. And that is the divorced person, right?

It's almost like, you know, especially if you're in the faith world, it's like they're untouched. It's like it's almost like a sticky word. It's like, all right, we'll have marriage groups and we'll have single groups and we'll have dating groups. But like, dun dun dun, dun, done. You know what I'm saying? And it's like, no group wants you.

Like the married people are like, well, you're not good enough. because you didn't stay with us. And the single people were kind of like, aha, you're back on our side. So you don't actually have a belonging. Wow. You don't actually have a real sense of, okay, who really understands that I've lived my life in one phase for so long

and I'm now having to learn a new phase and sometimes having to learn it in a more mature state in 30, 40, 50, 60 years old. And it's like I never imagined being single again at this age. And what does it look like? And if you're very public like me, the thing that saved me was that I made a promise, I promised to myself to not pretend.

You know? And so our church, if we have this mantra, we're true, which is transparent, real, and edited. So no matter what it is, we're going to be transparent, we're real and edited. And so on days we're very difficult, I allowed it to be difficult. I was like, you know, this is a difficult day. Today was the day that I had to, the first day that I couldn't take my kids to school,

first holiday that I didn't have my kids with me. And like, and live in that emotion, not to be depressed, but to also say, you know what, it makes me really appreciate the time that I do have for them. And so now the time that I have my kids, I'm so much more intentional to where I was a dad at home all the time. So sometimes my kids be happy and I'm like, all right, right, go away out of the room. I'm saying. And they're talking, dad, dad, dad, dad. I'm like, listen, daddy to work, please.

let me alone. Here, Popsicle, corner. Let me finish this paper. Let me finish this email, right? And I would like almost quarantine myself to finish business. Now I value the time with them so much more because I know it's every other week. And so it's like, hey, I'll get a lot of business done that we got to have them. But when they're here, I'm very intentional about conversations. And I listen better. Like, what do you say happening in school? Did you tell your teacher? Did you talk to your friend about it? Like conversations that I noticed, it's not that I didn't have, but I didn't have the level of regularity. that I have right now. And so every lesson became a positive lesson. I saw the silver lining in every single lesson, which therefore, because I saw God's hand and not just to pain every situation,

I feel like I've grown more in the last year than maybe I have in the last seven. Wow. Yeah, seriously. It's been, it's actually been a growth season for me. And it's been a, I'm healthier. And I know that sounds crazy, But it's almost as if it's almost the same way during COVID.

They said once your body has lived through it, you've acquired natural immunities. Wow. The body has learned how to fight off certain things that would potentially kill other people. I've grown so much in this space because I didn't have an immunity when it came to extreme disappointment, to heartbreak, to putting your all in the sum that maybe it doesn't work. And like, I've grown so much now to where disappointment just doesn't. doesn't phase me the way that it did before. It's just, it's like, hey, things don't work out. And that's okay. But you just find ways to kind of corral your energy and your focus back and get back on what you need to do.

So I have like a natural immunity now if it makes sense. Well, man, you know, one of the things that I think that you have done over the past, you know, six or seven months is to me privately, you, you, you, haven't bad mouth your ex. Yeah. You, you, you, and part of,

part of that is, like, you, you didn't give your pain power. Does that make sense? Like, you didn't, like,

and obviously anybody can. Like, that's, anybody can, but like, you know, when we weren't recording, like you were the same.

And I don't think people, like, people might think like that you're on right now. It's just like, no, this is how like, this is Ken. Like, this is like, this is how he, like. And I remember calling you a couple times. I was like, hey, bro, like, you know, you can be real with me. You were like, I am being real. And I'm like, oh, this is okay.

No, no, no. I still vividly remember those conversations because you're kind of like, you know, I love the way you were set in the stage. You're like, listen, but like, we're a friend. You don't have to be on. I'm like, no, bro, I promise you. Like, I'm not on or not.

You're like, are you sure? And I'm like, no, seriously. Because I do feel like, that's just be real. Pain and trauma has enough power on its own. Yeah. Without you giving it any extra, it has enough on its own. And so for me, the reason I didn't want to constantly rehearse the pain is because I want to heal as quickly as possible. And I've learned, no, and even in therapy, you know,

when you're constantly rehearsing the pain, what you're doing is you're giving getting new tentacles. And it keeps reattaching in other places. And you keep giving it more strength and more power every time you rehearse the story. And then you remember a new detail that maybe you forgot. And you start trying to piece to piece together. Like, oh, and that's why this happened. And that's why I found this out. It's like, dude, listen, accept the fact.

It may be a hard statement. Accept the fact. Wow. it's over and it's okay. The sooner you come to the realization that it's over is the faster you get to the place of there's a new beginning. Wow. And for me, that's where I was chasing.

I was chasing there was a new beginning, that there's a new life, there's a new purpose, there's so much more that I have to steal yet fulfill. And my life really is just at the beginning of stepping into some of the amazing things that I feel like my purpose to do in the earth. So yeah, I still do it's day. I don't speak negative.

And let me tell you, the human side of you, you get to certain spaces where you hear certain stuff. You know what I mean? You know? You know? And sometimes, like, you have this, this desperate need to want to defend yourself and your point. I want to defend my character. Yeah.

And, man, I've learned something. valuable lessons in this process. One is that, you know, people are going to believe, but they want to believe anyways. You know, number two is that you can't convince somebody who's already made their mind up about you. They've already made their mind up. It's a waste of energy.

A mind convinced against his will is a mind unconvinced deal. And I've really, really had to be okay with knowing my truth. And knowing where I stand. and knowing that regardless of what I hear, regardless of what comes out, my position is to choose honor.

So I'm going to choose honor, and I'm going to continue to walk with honor. And I'll tell you some days it's easier said than done. Some days, you're like, nah, this one deserves a response right here. You know, I want to give a response. But if you just choose honor, it really does empower you more

and it strengthens you more. And it gets to a place of choosing honor and consistently at the beginning could be hard. But once you kind of, kind of get the hang of it. It becomes a way of life. It's just like, you know, I don't really give power to anything negative.

Whatever happens, happens, just keep on. Wow. Well, man, any last words to encourage somebody that is kicking off 2023, 2022 was rough for a lot of people. And they're trying to pick up the pieces. And they're trying to, they don't want to do fake it until they make it.

Thank you. They don't think that that's a good plan. I don't think that's a good plan. But they're trying to come to grips with the reality of their situation and still, man, give their best, man. They got miles of feed. They got stuff to do. And they don't want to be moping around.

But at the same time, they may not feel like doing it, man. Let me just encourage somebody. Yeah, man, honestly, like, if I were to give you an analogy to help them, this analogy I would give, if you were to say, like, life is like this scattered puzzle. You know what I mean? You're like, all right, I'm starting to give. 2023, I'm trying to put this puzzle back together. How do you start with the puzzle?

Anybody knows the first thing you do is you start with the corners and the edge because that's your foundation. So like, I didn't know 2023, like, what is the foundation of what's holding your life together? And for me, it was my faith, my relationship with God was my foundation. And so, like, I had to start with that. Like, where is my heart? You know what I mean? Where is my faith and my allowing space and the process of healing?

So that's my foundation. And then many people have that. All right, I have the God factor. All right, let's get past that can. Let's talk real talk. Real talk, the rest of the puzzle, you start with the pieces you recognize. That's it. Like, you can't, I can't go anywhere behind it.

I start with the pieces I recognize and I start to put those together. And I allow the pieces that I don't recognize to naturally fall in their place. And so if you're trying to put your life back together, maybe you went through a divorce. And maybe you lost the job. maybe a company closed that you start and you put all your resources and all your savings and it just didn't work out. Whatever. I would say go back to what are the pieces you recognize and what are your passions? What are the things that you love the most? How are you wired? What is your identity? Because when you can go back to the parts of you that you recognize, God can help

you build from there. You can start to rebuild from the spaces of, okay, this is who I am. I may have lost some stuff in the process, but to my core, this is what I recognize for me and I'll rebuild from that. Awesome. Ken, thank you so much, man. I really think that this episode is going to speak volumes to people. I think it's going to add a lot of value to people. And give a lot of people hope, man,

because I think there's so many people that are waking up hopeless. And I hope that today's episode really gives people hope. So thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to be on the podcast. That's my honor. Anything for Ryan Lee. I'm scared. Everybody else thought the way I bet you did.

I bet you did. I bet you did. Well, ladies and gentlemen, if today's episode added value to your life, please like it, share, leave a comment. We'd love to know what you think. And don't forget to subscribe.

Until next time, we'll holl.