The Snark Tank - #436: It's Been A Year...
Episode Date: September 11, 2026https://www.patreon.com/TheSnarkTank...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of the Snark Tank
podcast. It is me, Chris Reagan. It is them, Tom Sweeney, and some black guy, Derek Blackman.
We are here today on, we're recording this on Kirkiversary Eve. We're, we're
which I actually didn't, I actually didn't realize until literally just now.
Yep, yippee, yipee, right, you, I carry, I carried three, I'll create the tweet thoughts and prayers.
I'm so excited.
Don't do that.
I'm so excited.
We are thoughts and prayers.
We give our thoughts and prayers.
We think about the gospel.
We don't dodge off the way.
We are.
That's crazy, first of all.
Listen, welcome to the show.
Patreon.
com slash the start tank.
Remember, you can go over there.
this is by the way
I want to make it clear
because I feel like it's important
to bring this up
at the beginning of the show
when most people are still here
the fact that we say all this
the fact that you just heard
what you just heard
you should support us
because we can't get other jobs
yeah
we can't do other things now
no we can
we got to go
you got to grift hard
look at this guy
You can grift.
You can grift hard to the right.
Well, that's true.
In this realm, I guess I should be more specific.
Normal things.
Nah, I can still become a nurse.
We can't do a normal thing.
We can't open up a carpentry business or something.
I can still become a nurse.
Are you kidding me?
Somebody can easily just send this clip and then be like, no.
I said we are thoughts and prayers.
What's wrong with that?
There are clips of you and audience, if you're new.
here. I need to understand. I need you to understand
that I'm not lying at all when I say this.
There are clips of Kingston
talking about how he would
how exactly he would
go about disposing
of sick people in the in the ICU.
Wait, no Chris.
Disposing of patience. You've got it wrong.
There's clips of me
explicitly saying how you
would dispose of people in ICU.
Oh, you're right, right. And then how I would dispose of
you. You're right. I
misremembered what you said. You would throw them
down the shoot and then I would throw you down the shoe and then Derek would throw me down the shoot and you would throw Derek down the shoot somehow again. Yeah, but you don't, you, you didn't know, you don't know that I have a man on the inside waiting to, waiting to throw me back up the shoot. Exactly. So it's so the shoot, the shoot's like you shape. So it's like a slapstick thing where it's like do. Oh, clever. Okay. I was just thinking go back up. I'm like, oh, okay. So you took all the whimsy out of it. You took all the fucking whimsy.
Yeah, I mean, I was trying to sell the realism, which I realized now was a mistake.
Oh, okay, cool. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks for ruining that for me.
We're going to start taking podcast. There's not really much, there's not really much to go into on this Kirkmas Eve.
Yeah. What are you guys going to do for the Kirkman's free?
I was going to, you know, I was going to relax. I was a nice, cool, chill day.
Yeah.
How about you, Derek?
What's today, actually? Today is today?
today's Wednesday, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, so tomorrow I record Sacred, which is kind of funny.
Ooh, that lines up perfectly.
That is awesome.
But I don't know.
I didn't even realize Labor Day happened.
I always forget that Labor Day is even a thing.
It means nothing to us anymore.
No, yeah, and so people were like,
I remember people were like, what are you going to do for Labor Day?
I was like, what?
Nothing.
I don't know, play with guns.
Yeah.
I don't have a normal job.
where I need to
celebrate
myself for like grinding
you know where I feel like an asshole
like having a job like this
and being like I'm gonna take off Labor Day
I don't know.
Yeah it makes no sense to do it like I've
for bigger
I guess for like Christmas and like Thanksgiving
and stuff where it's like family you're involved I guess like it makes
a little more sense but like
I'm not taking off for it.
It's like
like King's and Derek
do not get Martin Luther King Day off.
Neither do I.
But that just so happens.
Like if it falls on a day we record, we record that day.
Yeah, we record. I'm not getting to about it.
I feel like we should get our dick sucked
though on MLK Jr. Day though.
I think we should.
Interesting. Well, you guys can be each other.
Black History Month. We should.
I'm a little. I'm a little.
We all blow each other. I'm Caribbean.
So it's a little.
You're a black American.
I'm pretty much.
technically a cosplay.
Technically,
you're a black man that lives in America.
That are the only two caveats.
There's only two requirements.
That's true.
But I don't know, man.
I don't got as much.
You're doing that.
You're doing that Caribbean thing.
We're like,
no,
that's not me,
Bobby.
No,
I'm not doing it in a noble way.
This time I'm not trying to take something
from black Americans.
That's it.
I was being like,
yeah, you know,
maybe you guys
to get a little something more special.
I get a hand job.
You guys deserve a blow job.
You know,
I'm trying to make it.
I'm trying to make it a little better for you.
Listen, listen, you wouldn't, that wouldn't even, because like, that would basically mean anyone who didn't wasn't directly affected probably shouldn't have anything.
No, no, no, no, no.
I'm saying I.
I didn't say everybody.
But that's what I mean.
If you have to put that a little asterisk on your struggle.
Yeah, on my.
On Kingston's.
I'm not going to put on everybody.
This is not a black American thing.
This is a Kingston thing.
I'm not trying to hold anyone else down right now, dude.
I'm like, hey, you know, I'm not going to hang out and do that.
Like on June 10, I'm not acting wildly on it, you know, like, everybody's ex-wile.
But you know, you do your thing.
You deserve that.
Me, I'm like, I'm just going to, you know, I'm going to say happy parade.
I'm no black poppy.
I'm just Kingston.
That's not crazy.
I've heard you say that.
That's what I've heard you say that before.
I've met the first time I met you.
I walked to us.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah, vamos west.
Yeah, my soul.
He said, he said to you, the first thing he said to you is, by the way, I'm not black.
crazy. I say it in English and I proceed
really bad Spanish dress of the night.
And none of the Spanish people understand me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was a very awkward night.
You know the first time I met you, I think was,
I think, I think Lacey might have been there.
Or maybe I'm misremembering.
The first night I met you definitely.
Sounds probably accurate.
Yeah.
When I met you, it was at this weird.
film store, right?
And after I was done putting my cock through this hole,
I went around and peaked around a corner and I saw
you, I was like, oh, what's up, dude?
You know, and I cleaned myself up and I left.
And then you were at my house like two weeks later.
I was like, what's going on?
Can you imagine that encounter, by the way?
You show up to a glory hole and then that guy's at a
cocktail party at your house, like a week later
to somewhere else invited him?
Peaking around the wall, the glory hole is
diabolical.
Yeah. Because you're already done.
You already did what you have.
had to do it and you're like that's like the one thing right that's probably the one rule you're
not supposed to do it you're like what the way hey hey don't look over the wall you stand up over
the wall like a kid standing over a stall so i have a question about the glory hole i don't really
i'm not familiar with this nor have i ever been it's not even really been an enticing thing to me
either by the way that's crazy but i like i like the idea him's not go ahead go ahead so it's it's
it's two stalls right it's two bathroom stalls
I guess in a bathroom setting
I think there's walls
in a bathroom setting but I like
from what I've seen like from the
one of the few
acceptable like say I really don't like
you know men in my porn right
but one of the few simple things where there was just like
not a man there's just a dick through a hole
and a chick's like just ravaging it and I'm like
that's cool I'd like to do that
so like that scenario to me was always kind of like
acceptable to where it's the
exception to the rule because
I guess I also because they do a good job
just keeping, because if I heard the dude be like
oh yeah, yeah, I'd be like
turn it off, turn off. I don't want to hear that.
But what my point being is that
it always looks like it's just artificially constructed.
It doesn't look like a real, the setting
doesn't look like a real.
It's a set.
It doesn't look like a actual place.
It's never in. So I imagine a real world scenario
like you're saying if it's like in the bathroom stall thing,
I guess, yeah, what, there's,
carve a hole or something because I've seen those holes before and I'm like what actually is that for?
And I think I've seen a bit about that.
Like, oh, you hang your jacket in it or you put your your jeanne.
I can't remember.
You put your.
That's so bold.
I can't remember where I saw that.
But anyway, putting your genitals through a random hole in a place.
It's very brave.
So badass, dude.
It's very brave.
Because I couldn't.
I'm a fucking coward.
Like that's, well, first of all, because I know a guy.
guys on the other end so I don't want to do that's what you gotta do that's it's it's the it's the
separation it's the separation you like oh I could I could just say but then you feel
oh you're like oh man you feel yeah immediately it shatters the fantasy we're like oh I thought
it was um you here thought this was oh oh oh oh yeah the very end there's a bar thanks bro and like
ah man see it's not fucking uh dude you hit my uvila chill and it's like
Come on, man.
I paid my $15, though.
So I guess...
I think those are free, though, right?
Like, people are just showing up for the love of the game.
I think you got to pay money to even go to the back place where you can do it.
Unless they're in bathrooms and something's just...
I think of crazy.
That's what I was...
That's what I was thinking.
It's like, you imagine you're having like a real bad fit of diarrhea or whatever.
A hard dick pops to the box.
It just comes in and you're just upset.
In the middle, you're like...
So that guy can hear you blowing chunks out of your ass.
That guy can hear and smell everything.
And he's smirks.
He's just getting way harder.
You see it like it's getting harder and v.
You're like, dude.
He's gone.
He's so much blood there.
That's right of his body.
He's all tiny and chrivolved up.
He started hearing the store crack.
Like he's starting to like get through it.
That's crazy.
Don't flush.
Don't flush.
Don't flush.
Don't flush.
That is crazy.
His dick is so far in the thing you can't walk out without at least touching it.
And you're like, oh, man, you're like, you're trying to.
You can't open a stall door all the way either because it's in the way to.
And you're like, oh, my God, I don't want to interact with this.
All right.
So there has to be one listener, you know, you keep yourself anonymous.
somebody has experienced some type of a glory hole or truck stop situation or bathroom or whatever.
We need to know about this stuff.
I'm always vicarious about the realness.
It's like even I was watching a true crime thing with Jojo and some chick in 98 disappeared from a cruise and they suspected that she was sex trafficked.
And basically the thing was like, we all know this exists like sex trafficking.
But like what are the fucking signs, the clues? Where are these people? You know, like, because I, you can't tell they're clearly walking amongst us because they have to live in society. So in the same way, the people that are going through the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the shit. What do you look for? How the fuck do you know? I guess I can, I guess I could actually do deep research if I really wanted to, but I'd feel better if I had anecdotal evidence, you know? Yeah. Like, you'd feel better if someone else did it for you. Really. Really. Really.
That's exactly.
Because that's how I feel about it.
I'm not,
I would rather that not that search beyond my fucking phone.
Yeah,
like,
dude,
there was,
because I'm,
I'm working on,
I mean,
I was working on a video and like,
it's a recap of a bunch of news.
And there's one thing about some guy.
Did you see this,
this report about this guy named,
uh,
his internet handle was Mr.
child porn.
And he got arrested for,
I want you to guess.
that that's the most insane thing I've heard in a long time but I remember like I was like I was I was looking
up it's like holy cow I was trying to find the story and I couldn't find it but I was like I didn't want to
search Mr. Child porn you know right you're at a public library right you got to go to public
library look it up there public library like copy the link I've recently been to public libraries
and the little kid computers
are so cartoonishly
little kid computers
that imagine
doing that at the
at the Burbank library
they got a fucking 3D printer and shit
like I had no idea
I was like this is kind of crazy
that the one on a glenox
I think so
yeah that's the big one
there's because there's one big one on glenox
and there's a lot of homeless people in there
yeah
well yeah
I stopped I went in there a few times
and I was like oh
so there's like five libraries
in Burbank, man.
I think there's a few.
Five is a fucking lot.
Well, that's because Burbank is private.
It's a private everything.
So we have our own police department.
You got our own glory holes.
That's more libraries than there are
Duncans or like McDonald's in Burbank.
It's kind of crazy.
I might be over exaggerating.
I think I know of three.
You must be over exaggerating because I.
So let me see.
I only know of the one.
But yeah, it's probably like two or three.
What were we
What was I?
Oh what were talking about before?
Real quick.
I just wanted just did what you were saying about that username, that handle.
Yeah.
That reminds me of Nick Mullen as a, as a, just for the love of the game of being a retard.
He bought the dough name.
I think it's called child porn dot sexy.
And he actually, he got to the point where I think if I remember.
Oh, yeah.
The FBI like, like, fucked with.
like actually question about it or something.
Something like that happened.
It's been a while since I've heard about that.
But that is.
And I think if I don't know if I'm conflating two things, but there was a, I think like he made it like a train website or something, a website about trains or something.
I got to look this up again.
Oh, yeah.
I don't know.
He did something with it that was like, it was like very harmless.
But I might be conflating two different stories.
But yeah.
Yeah.
That guy's fucking retarded.
I could never.
So there's three libraries.
It's a wild thing to do.
It's still crazy.
Yeah, three is a lot.
That is more than I would try.
They're all near each other too.
Well, the two of them are right next to each other.
And then one of them is over in downtown.
One of them has something secret there.
Hmm?
Is it like an annex kind of situation?
It's just like this another.
You don't know.
Yeah.
Because there's one on, there's one on Glen Oaks down there.
one by where we used to live.
But then there's one on Buena Vista and then there's one also on victory.
Okay, weird.
That's, yeah, whatever.
I don't know.
Genuine, like, maybe 10 minute walks from each other.
But I think that's good.
Libraries should be more abundant.
They're really important.
Yeah.
Yeah, I stopped caring about what you were saying about 40 seconds ago.
That's crazy.
That's crazy.
The libraries are important still.
Don't listen to Chris.
He's dumb and stupid.
I think that's all the boys were at that.
I didn't say that libraries were at.
He doesn't say that.
He tries to eat bricks with his mouth.
Remember that, guys.
He chews on them.
How else am I going to eat bricks if not with my mouth?
That's pretty impressive, though.
Stew them first and then drink them.
Stewing a brick to make it soft enough to eat is crazy.
It's crazy, dude.
Because that, like, applies a level of, like...
Brick de gisade, you know?
So if you were into somebody stewing a brick,
there's, that's an interesting amount of cognitive
because, like, oh, he's aware that he can't just chew the brick raw.
He, and he under, he understands that water logging generally makes things softer.
There's like a veil.
Comprehension of physics there, but also
No.
You're wrong.
Until he doesn't.
He turns a little bit. Then it's literally soup.
And great.
And the vine-smelling soup, mind you.
He's used the brick.
It's really good.
That was the missing ingredients.
Kind of like MSG, you know?
That's a little missing thing to really bring out the
flavor in your broth.
You convince you to take a sip. You're like, yo, that's a really good
brick. He's like, right?
Right.
look only since we
this is unusual where a question
is catching my eye and it's like relevant
to the stuff we're talking about in the beginning
we're going to start with a question
we're going to get into some of the stuff like this is really not much
to talk about this is like a Nintendo direct with like Zelda
and like that's pretty much it
but turning point US Gay Road in
he says hey snark boys
looking at modern internet humor
i.e. Kirkification and memes in general
do you think we've come full circle to
random equal funny or do you think we
find these things funny due to the juxtaposition
and inherent absurdism.
I think this kind of, I don't know.
It's the absurdity for me, man.
I think that's a little subjective.
Yeah.
For me, it's absurd.
I think it's inherently subjective. It's comedy.
But for you,
it's what? I think it's absurdity, man.
I think, I'm
very much so absurdist comedy person.
I am very much so absurdist comedy person.
Like, I'm a fucking Russian immigrant.
I'm an absurdist comedy.
person. I prefer
sure this comedy.
It is me absurd this
comedy person.
That's comedy shorts gamer's Russian counterpart.
Nah.
What's comedy shorts gamers Russian
counterfeit what is that?
Observely this comedy person.
And instead of using, he has a bear in the background
instead of, instead of
corn for somebody, he throws a bear on them.
He throws a bear on that chick.
He throws a bull bear on the person.
Sleep.
How do you say sleep in Spanish again?
Derek, you know this.
Not Spanish.
How do you say you sleep in Russian?
You know this, Derek?
I don't know.
That's crazy.
That's crazy.
Russian wife came and saying in Russian.
Well, unfortunately, she, in the summer heat, she has trouble sleeping, so she doesn't know what sleep is.
Oh.
Yeah, she's never slept once since she's moved to the desert.
There's too much sun and it frightens her.
She can see the sky.
She's like, I did not know the sky was blue in real world.
I thought it was only in fairy book.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's always gray.
It's, uh, as soon as you cross Poland, it's just gray.
That's, everything.
So like everything.
It's just gray and bats.
That's all you see.
Crazy.
People get swept up by swarms of bats and taken away.
Yeah.
Yeah, she was,
she was very surprised.
She thought like, uh,
uh,
uh,
SoCal was fucking Lord of the Ring.
She was like,
she didn't understand what was happening.
She thought it's where the elves are from.
She's like,
what the hell?
It was just a park.
It was just a local park.
It was the first thing.
She was like,
this is crazy.
This is impossible.
Yeah.
This can't be heaven.
There's Mexicans here.
It's impossible.
I,
I don't know,
random equal funny stuff.
I would argue that stuff,
that stuff's kind of just never really been that funny.
Like if it's like the,
like the Markiplier E thing.
Do you remember that?
It was cute.
It was cute.
It's like,
that's got like no.
The stuff that we interpret as random,
like the purgification,
I don't think curfification is random.
I think that's like a very specific.
There was an event that people were very,
very serious about.
And because the internet is what the internet is,
nobody takes anything seriously.
In fact,
there's like a,
there's like a hostility to reverence on the internet.
You know,
like there's no,
nothing is really taken seriously.
And so when things are,
are, it leads to like this opposite pendulum swing where it's like as seriously as people
are taking it is as unseriously as other people are going to take it.
And I would have to add.
So that's what makes it funny to be.
Yeah, I completely agree.
You know, the one caveat I would just say is that if it's like faux reverence, because
like somebody, this guy, for example, Andy Williams, who is, he was a guitarist and every
time I die and he was also a pro wrestler, he died recently.
and just the amount of monumental amount of outpouring of like support and just like how great this dude was and all this shit, not a smidget of pushback.
Because he's genuinely a great guy and he was in him.
Right.
You know, like he touched a lot of people's lives versus Charlie Kirk who I'm sorry.
I don't mean to be rude.
But if you genuinely felt like you lost something, you're an idiot.
You're stupid.
Like it's just like when we talk about we talk about I don't mean to be rude, but I am going to be rude because it's just like I'm just cutting through the bullshit where it's like you're stupid if you felt like you lost something valuable or it's like this guy's actually a piece of shit if you generally paid attention to him.
Problem is you did it.
You watched his clips.
You enjoyed some of his clips, but you didn't really know who he was as a person, which usually happens.
Right.
Like that's not a new idea that pariscial thing.
things. What I've noticed at quick analysis, the old school parasycial relationship, because
there wasn't that much information available, I felt like people did their due diligence to find
out more about people. When it was tabloid journalism, when it was just this and that, there wasn't
just the internet that we all lived on. It felt like the parisocial person back in the day,
the fanatic, as we called them, tried to learn every single thing. I know when this person was born,
I know when this person did this, when they first did that. And now it seems like the opposite.
it. The more that the cultish person is like stuck to these people, the, the less incurious
they are about them. Like, that's because the person, the person that becomes cultish about
people nowadays on the most part are stupid and more mentally unhealthy. Like, they're mentally
unhealthy back then. So you think the people have changed? I think the people in a culture
around that has changed for sure. Definitely the culture. I definitely would say that. It's just,
like, I would say the way that somebody would behave about a Justin Bieber, for example,
and you quiz them about, you know, that crazy asshole.
You quiz them and they know like, God damn,
you know everything about Justin Bieber.
And I feel like that still does exist because you still might be able to do that for like a Taylor Swift.
But it also matters to fan base too.
Like Kirk's fan base, people that are fans of Kirk are often either religious morons.
Or racist idiots.
So I guess.
So like it's a different kind of like group of people.
When it comes to like those little girls that were fans of Bieber, they were fans of Bieber.
they were fans of Bieber
in a way that is
still probably unhealthy
it's definitely is
it's it's more of a reverence
of like the stuff he creates
opposed to Charlie Kirk
they're fans of him because
of the stuff he
I did like I guess he pushes
and they suck
you know
yeah no yeah
a great example is just
well like Tim Curry
and like all of these celebrities
that have
been passing away lately.
You know, like these guys are just like
there's an outpouring of support.
But no one's, but also no one's like,
I guess they weren't murdered either, to be fair.
But like, there's no like,
oh, we gotta like,
we gotta reshape
the world in these people's image, by the way.
You know what I mean? There's no like, we have to build
a Mount Rushmore size.
statue of Tim Curry in the middle of the town square because he was so great.
Yeah, no.
You know what I mean?
Like the way the people were like, Charlie, we need to, we need to rename highways.
We need to, we need to build a statue.
Yeah.
By the way, like, whatever happened with that statue that they were supposed to put up in New
New York City with, do you remember that?
That had to be fake.
It had to be.
Right, because like, because that ain't last.
But New York.
But there you go, though.
Like, like you said, Tim Curry, someone who.
A Rocky Horror statue would be adorable.
Like, you know what I'm saying?
Right.
You can make an argument that he was influential enough to deserve something like that.
And the shoehorning of Kirky were you even have in Westminster in the city in SoCal,
they put up a street.
Somebody renamed one of the side streets.
And it's like, bro, what the fuck?
In Orange County, the fuck does he have anything to do with Orange County?
There's nothing to do with it.
It's really, it is really silly.
But it'd be hilarious if,
it'd be hilarious if gun violence explodes on those streets.
That's insane.
But it also, it also leads, I say it's to the degree, right?
It depends on the way you live your life.
You know, if you die and people are celebrating you,
says something to who you were, you know.
And then if you die and there's a very big population with being fanatical,
and other people being like, yo, your death, you suck.
You sucked.
You suck.
Sorry.
And then also the response of people being like, I don't care that he's dead.
And then they're being like, how could you not care?
And it's like, because I think he was a piece of shit.
And it's like, but he was a father.
He's like, yeah, still a piece of shit.
Literally everyone that has children or father.
What does that mean?
Doesn't mean anything.
Like that, that means.
And it's like, yeah, that was, that was unfortunate.
He shouldn't have been killed that way.
That he didn't, even though he didn't deserve that.
But like, he still was a huge piece of shit.
I'm not going to mourn him.
Listen, I think that was the problem.
People were trying to for.
the more's the people to mourn him.
And it's like, I'm not going to mourn him.
I'm sorry, bro.
My bad, gang.
I just hate that argument where they talk about like, oh, because even the, like, the way that it happened, I'm like, guys, if it were up to people like me and the people on this podcast, it would be impossible for that to even happen.
You pieces of shit have made this culture that has allowed people to be blown away by gun violence because you are too stupid to just not live without them when you don't even need them.
the amount of people that actually need guns is so fucking minimal is such a small percentage versus the amount of people that just have them because they love them because of the culture right like we understand that and you being too stupid to figure out that like Australia is you know like say something's still going to happen but there are cultures around the world especially in first world developed countries that are doing things the best that they can and progressing and then we're not doing that over here right but Derek
Australia needs gun control because it's an island exclusively of criminals.
Not anymore.
No.
Descendants of criminals.
I mean, that's not much better, you know?
Like, those are criminals with...
Aussie folks are not criminals like that.
A descendant of a criminal is a criminal.
Sorry.
No, no.
Chris, do you know what your last name?
Chris, do you know what your last name is?
You are clearly the descendants of criminals.
Your last name means criminal.
No, it doesn't.
Sorry, it means bad person.
My bad.
My bad.
Sorry.
That is funny.
I think it's just, I don't know, man.
Look, it's, it's everything about that situation.
I'm trying to laugh, but it's so hard.
You have to, man.
It's, it's literally.
It was like a joke.
It was like it was written by Larry David in his prime.
But he was like, you know, that'd be funny.
If he says, he quotes something and he dies by said blade.
That is something.
something that I wonder about like that because like the counting or not counting gun uh gang violence thing
and then it happens immediately was he like waiting for like a like an ironic you know what I mean
do you think he was setting himself up like he knew it I know that he got a vision I understand
that he wasn't like logically I understand he probably like went up there just did what he had to do
and left but the timing of that is so insane
Yeah.
If it is if it is true that he did.
If it's true that he did not wait for an ironic line,
which I think it is,
then the timing of that really is like cosmically insane.
Yeah.
That's what it feels like.
That's a crazy thing.
I mean,
I don't really hardly believe the person that shot him, shot him.
Yeah.
Oh, good.
Yeah.
No.
Take your call.
By the way, so we're recording this on the knife.
wait, I just want to make sure.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
No, we're good.
So thank you turning point,
turning point US gay for your,
for your ride in.
Yeah,
I don't know.
I don't think we're circling back to random
equals funny.
I think random is always going to be random
and it's going to always going to give like a little chuckle.
But the stuff that I think is perceived as random really isn't that random.
I think there's like a kind of like a method to the insane shit that we're saying.
Yeah,
there's,
um,
there's some randomness that I,
some over.
I do like there to be a little structure in a way that even if it seems chaotic, it's for a reason, kind of like the oxymorne of organized chaos kind of a thing.
And so, like, you brought up the example of E where that it was literally random.
There was no actual rhyme or reason behind it.
It just happened.
And then people ran with it.
I guess you could say the same thing about Ugandan knuckles, but that kind of just worked out to be actually really enjoyable.
but there was no reason to conflate Uganda and knuckles, you know, like to mash them together.
There was no actual reason.
It just happened.
Yeah, that is a good example.
Yeah.
That was already so long ago.
Jesus Christ.
That's like a 10-year-old meme at this point.
I would say 9.
Yeah, almost 10.
Like you said, almost 10 years.
I said, almost.
I can't believe if I just did that.
You just did a Kingston.
You just like disagreed to agree.
Has it been nine of you?
That's crazy to think about.
I think that's a 2017 meme.
Yeah.
Like 2017 or early 2018.
In one of the two.
Yeah, you're right.
One of the two.
It's close.
It's almost dead.
But, uh, yeah, man.
Thanks,
thanks for writing in.
I guess we,
I guess we,
I guess we,
I guess, like the only real thing to
get into, I guess, is just the,
they showed Zelda.
You know, that remake.
You can talk more about the,
a little bit of time.
We got into it arguably too early
into the episode, I think.
Probably should have been later.
No, no, it's fine.
It's fine.
I just wonder what the, uh, what the, uh, what the, you know, the robots are listening,
like whether they hear his name and they go like, I don't know.
But I feel like they're going to be like, oh, everybody's talking about this.
Push it to the top.
Right.
Yeah, you're probably right.
And the only thing I'm thinking about is like finding every deep fake I can find and putting it all together on the on thumbnail.
Like every like rapid fire like NBA Kirkboy freaking NBA Kirkboy.
There's so many.
There's so many.
My favorite one dude.
That one is a peak, dude.
It really is such a crazy legacy to have man.
Yeah.
Like he is just the most memed person like by a by a long like I really like.
Like, I really, like, it is crazy to me that it, that he blew George Floyd out of the water.
You know what I mean?
Because I remember thinking like the George Floyd stuff was kind of unavoidable.
But that's because they, they try to do the same thing.
They try to do the same.
They're going to correctly to Floyd.
Well, and the reason why it, it's, it fell so flat is that it was completely artificial.
Like, the way that, the way that people talk about that shit.
Because, again, it could have been anybody.
It just happened to be George Floyd.
And that's the thing.
because they're always like, oh, they're trying to deify this criminal.
And I'm like, bro, he just happened to be the guy.
It could have been the most upstanding citizen ever.
Stop focusing on it, like, as if people were choosing George Floyd, like they knew who he was before he got fucking murdered.
The problem was the blatant nature of it.
Like, they're just shoehorning all this bullshit, trying to be like, oh, I'm trying to be as offensive as possible.
Like, no, y'all started with the Kirk shit.
You try to deify him.
And then this was the response.
No one actually, if you're going to find the minimal amount of.
people maybe trying to do something.
But even when they were doing murals, people still
miss the point of the mural.
It's not about George Floyd.
He just happened to be the guy.
It literally would have been anyone in that situation.
No serious person.
And by the way, no serious person was deifying George Floyd.
And if they were, you can discard them.
Like they're retarded.
Like they missed the point.
Yeah, you can very easily discard those fields.
It's very dumb.
But anyway, I guess, yeah, I guess the only other thing is we can just get into questions
after this.
Yeah.
We have some questions pertaining to it because Blue Sanghili Road.
He says, hey, guys, simple question.
How are you feeling about the Ocarina of Time remake?
I'm actually pretty hyped.
I never thought Nintendo would remake it.
Really?
Why?
I thought, I thought for sure they would, like I thought, I guess I thought it would have come sooner, to be honest.
Yeah.
That's what I love.
Especially considering what it is, because it looks like pretty faithful.
It doesn't look like they're like reimagining anything.
It looks pretty much like, okay, like they're even keeping like loading screens in and shit.
So like, I mean, it looks okay.
I've never played the original Ocarina.
I played Majors Mask and not Ocarina somehow.
So like I'll probably play it maybe, but I don't know.
It looks fine.
I saw people talking about how Link looks a little creepy.
And I agree, but I kind of like it.
I kind of like that he looks weird.
It's a little on the baby.
The baby side.
He's a little fucking baby.
He does look like a baby.
Like, why does he look like a fucking baby?
Because he's young link, duh.
That is not a baby.
He's young.
Why does he look like young link?
What is I?
I'm not saying baby link, Kingston.
He's young, though.
Yeah, so when you were young, did you look like a fucking baby?
Or did you look like a baby when you're a fucking baby?
There was a period of young that was a baby.
Okay, okay.
It's like, all right, young link, how old is young link?
Probably, you know, whatever it is.
Youngling is four months old.
He's already moving like that at four months old.
That's impressive as fuck.
I don't know what.
I don't know what Hylians are, but that's crazy.
That's a hero.
That's like the people in the 9-11 families in New York
who think Mom Dani did 9-11 when he was 10 years old.
Yeah.
It's like, dude, like, no wonder, like, if he could do 9-11 at 10 years old,
then like, no wonder he's getting a lot of work done his,
mayor you know yeah being a mayor very talented being a mayor as an adult is probably far more
trivial than organizing a really sophisticated terrorist attack as a 10 year old boy from from the
comfort of your fucking living room so yeah i wish it's hey speaking of that he also dropped all that
shit showing just confirming that obviously the government knew how fucking toxic the air was and how much
asbestos was flying i mean we saw it with our own eyes looking at all these new york you know
infested with asbestos.
And then they're just like, no, it's fine.
I love the idea that those families are like,
we can't have Mom Dani at the 9-11 memorial
because he's Muslim and that's triggering and that's bad.
But we'll have Giuliani there who lied to the entire city
and made them go to work in a fucking toxic cloud of asbestos for fucking
for so many months that the death toll of post 9-11
illnesses, like, is like, I think three times larger than the death toll of
actual 9-11
awesome which is normal people
which is the calculate in war
usually the case other than the great wars right
other than the great wars I would say
the year oh here's your 50,000 60,000 troops died in the
Vietnam War and then millions afterwards from all of the
long term the lingering effects and the PTSD and so on and so forth
and fucking kill themselves and blah blah blah
I'm ridiculous shout out to Giuliani for
for blowing al-Qaeda's kill count out of the water.
It is fucking crazy.
I really, it's, it's, you know, grieving families.
They can still be stupid, unfortunately, and easily manipulated.
And so just having like Rudy Giuliani trying to speak on behalf of him, me like, it's a disgrace to him that he's going to be there.
And I'm like, what the fuck, dude?
Yeah.
You know what you've done, dude.
That's so crazy.
You know what's got this is a fucked up thought
It is just a thought that I had when I was like
When I was reading all this stuff
I was like reading so these families are like
We can't mom donnie shouldn't come here
And it's like some of the 9-11 family saying that
I was like
Dang like 9-11's like a little less tragic
Knowing that like a some of these people are probably
I don't that's crazy
Silver lighting
Silver lighting man
I'm joking
I'm joking
That's crazy
silver lining
we like to do little jokes
like numerically
like numerically yeah
some of them probably
would have really sucked
oh for sure
New Yorkers working in the World Trade Center
probably not the best people
but
I ended up just
some of the people that caught building
some people are trying to catch those
like candy from Pinniana
listen what was it that you said
we had a conversation
about 9-11 like on an old episode
that like made like I stumbled across it recently
because I was perusing old episodes
for clips
I was I think I asked you like how many rats do you think died in 9-11 and you said like 24 or something like that right I do remember that but like there's something about like that specific number that was hysterical to me I don't know why a lot of rats surviving now
two dozen rats I do remember that that was like yeah led to the death of 85 children 85 what like 300 people and 17 rats 17 rats and everybody
Everybody's like, no, not the rat.
People are low full.
Pivoting away from 9-11 and back to Zeldt as what normal does.
Did you guys see anything about this?
Yeah, I saw some of it.
About this remake?
I know, I know he looks like a baby.
The environments look nice from what I saw.
Yeah.
Looks good.
I just don't care.
I'm a little, I'm a little jealous just because, like, I've talked about it before that
I don't I personally didn't like Kyle they did a link to the past because it just doesn't appeal to me so I would have rather if it looked like this you know just a much smaller game but it would have been a much smaller game but like even if it looked like this like just with like the art style that art style I didn't like the art style that went with then it just it doesn't appeal to me even a little bit like Jojo has a switch I could go buy it and play it and I'm like you're talking are you talking about this new one or the I'm talking about the old one I just I'm jealous that
I wish it would have looked closer to the art style of like this.
Oh, I see what you're saying.
The past.
Links Awakening.
Link's Awakening.
Yeah, I don't know.
Thank you for correct to me.
Yeah, sorry.
It was confusing me, sir.
Yeah, no, because that's what I was like,
I was like, what am I saying wrong?
But, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
So that, you know, if anyone hasn't seen it,
like if you were, if you don't remember what the,
the remake of Link's Awakening looks like it,
it's definitely not for, I don't know,
like a 30-something-year-old adult male.
I'm just saying it doesn't look like it's for somebody like that.
You can play it, but it's definitely very cutesy.
It's overly cutesy to where I was like, oh, that's basically not the vibe that the original
game gives off at all.
Really?
No.
No, not even close.
I think that game is cutesy, but it's old.
It's like it's like a, it's still not like a, it's not like a hard core game.
It's so pixelated though, like it's hard to, like that's because it's a Game Boy game, right?
Yeah.
The vibe of the game.
though is because it's you don't know that it's well I don't want to spoil it but like it's it feels
very real Derek Derek no one has not played that game that cares about that game that's a good
point child and they shouldn't be here well I'm just okay you don't know you don't know that it's all
it's all a dream kind of thing right you don't you don't know it right right away basically
it just feels like oh dude's shipwrecked and he's got to get the fuck off of here and there's
obviously in a high ruling way there's dumb shit in it but the vibe like
Like it's a very serious tone.
Like you need to get some shit done to get out of there.
It didn't remind me of like, um, like say, you know, a Super Mario game with the music.
Dan, then, da, dan, then.
Like, uh, the, the music of, uh, it's, it's epic.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, it, it didn't remind me of like, oh, let's make everything round and almost kind
of look clayish.
And so I was kind of like, oh, that doesn't really excite me.
And so this, the Ocarina time of the remake, looking at it on face value, I was like,
this looks cool. Like it looks very, you know, there's,
it looks some, like, said, Link looks hilarious, but hey.
Yeah. Hey.
He looks over his shoulder. I'm like, what is that?
The, the picture of like the cat looking to the side.
Yeah. He really does look like a cat. I don't know. It's, um, I've never played it.
So like, I think it's actually like, yeah, I'll, I'll, I'll probably check it out.
Um, yeah. But, uh, I can see why I could see why people would be like, if you've played it already, like,
I don't really, I don't really know what the value.
I played on the 3DS and I played it on the 64 when it was relatively new.
So I'm okay.
I've been waiting, I think, for a remake to play it because I remember when I played
Majores Mask for the first time, I played it really, really late.
I played it in like 2011 or something like that.
So like, and I remember like this is good, but I don't want to experience this exact control scheme again.
for a new you know what I mean it was it was just too old and too jank for me to
I didn't want to do it again so I was like I've been waiting for a remake of
Ocarina of time since then so it's been like fucking 15 years or something like that
it's a very cool game a very cool world introduces sheke and Zelda and all that stuff
and that way that form of link is the iconic form of link now like when you think of link
sure yeah it is that's the one you think of maybe now breath of the wild version of him
probably comes in like close contact it's like maybe like
comparable in modern time.
I still think it's the green, I still think it's the green
Aquarium of time. Like the blue one is
is relevant for sure.
But like it's yeah. No, absolutely.
Hardcore Zelda fans. That's where they
exist. That's mine. That's mine because of not only that game, but
for melee. Yeah.
And so. Even ones, even ones that are
people that are a little bit closer to 40 like me.
Oh, of course. They, that is where, because like,
in 64, like it's still like that was a link to the
Pass was iconic, but then when it jumped on in 64, people were like coming.
People were coming.
That's what it became.
That's what it became the game friend as everybody knows about.
Like, I'm a Zelda fan, but I'm not like the, like, I think some people give Zelda like too much credit.
I'm like, this is a great game, but like, chill.
This is a perfect video game.
I'm like, breathe.
Breathe for a bit.
Yeah, perfect.
It's weird.
Very good, very good game, especially for the three open world at the time.
it's iconic.
Like it's fucking crazy.
But like that's the one.
Like when I think of Zelda, if someone said, hey, draw Zelda from memory right now,
be a horrible drawing.
But it'd be attempting to draw that way.
Yeah, I don't know, man.
It looks cool.
I didn't see any of the other Nintendo direct stuff.
I just don't.
I'm not really invested in Nintendo.
So just that I don't care that much.
But Aquarium of time I've had on my list for a while.
What I've always loved about was link in general is that like how much shit he has on him.
Like even though like,
does the whole like collapse space like oh he puts things in various things like various
places yeah he still has a ton of stuff on him when he's fighting that's every r pg
character it's ridiculous like i think i you know but link has visible stuff too though it's even
a ton of visible shit on it no but that's most r pg characters at this point yeah i get really yeah
yeah like skyrim you see all your armor and all your all your um weapons or the or not all of your
weapons, but the two weapons, the weapons that you have in your
slot. Yeah. I don't really think of that. Yeah.
You're, uh, go ahead. Because when I play Skyrim, right, like, I'm, I usually default, like,
it's just a, I'm playing the game to get the Nightingale armor. Like, that's all I'm doing
in Skyrim effectively. I'm like, all right, well, how do I get this armor? Really?
As soon as possible. Because I mean it's the coolest armor in the game. Because you look like
Batman, sort of. I like dressing, I, I, I like dressing like a ragged freak in
that's funny. I like, I like, I like,
looking like a homeless person in Skyer.
But I don't,
yeah, you don't see the
5,000 potatoes that you're carrying.
But like for
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember there was this
point when I was younger where I was playing melee and for
some reason one of my friends paused it.
And while it's paused,
he throws like the, um,
the, uh, the wind boomerang.
And while he's throwing it, it's like,
you see him have the sword,
the bow on the side.
He's holding the shield.
and I'm like, he's got a lot of stuff on him.
It's like that shot of...
He has to be strong.
It reminds me a little bit.
I know it's not exactly the same.
But it reminds me of that shot in Tarzan where he's swinging with Jane.
But he's clearly...
So he's holding Jane and he's swinging.
And you could see like kind of like they try to justify it by like his toes.
Oh, right, right.
But it's very clear that he's got the vine between his asses.
ass.
Yeah.
I think I remember seeing somebody draw that or animate that.
Yeah, somebody drew the other side of it.
Yeah.
That is crazy.
That is crazy.
You ruined that movie for me.
I mean,
it really is genuinely the only explanation to make that scene make sense.
I forgot.
There's a scene from a movie where a guy is clapping and he's,
she's his hands.
You know, like,
oh.
That's so stupid.
and the character's like, it's not meant to be seen.
He's like, oh, you might have clapped before.
You're kind of seeing the perception of the character, seeing it afterwards or something.
But it's like, no, this guy's throwing, he's clapping cheeks right now.
But so, speaking of video games, I beat Anamusha last night.
Oh, nice.
I beat that pretty quick.
The new Anamusha.
Yeah, I was sprinting through it, to be honest.
Because there's so much shit to get to this month.
It's stupid.
Mm-hmm.
Very good.
the combat is fucking awesome
but this is like
this is an example of like
this is a really great
12 hour game
that they stretched out
into like
25 hours
and it's kind of like
nah
I wish this was a lot shorter
a little shorter
maybe a little cheaper
yeah a little shorter
a little cheaper
like it's just too like
because it's got this like
kind of like Ubisoft kind of
it's an open world
but it's like a small open world
so it's not like quite
white Assassin's Creed where you're like, it's sprawling.
Yeah.
But it's like, I didn't really need this.
Like, you could have did the linear Resident Evil thing for Ani Mushan.
I would have been just as happy.
I probably would have been happier.
But the combat's so good.
Like, it's really good.
It kind of pisses me off.
That's as good as it because that Eishon attack thing that they had.
Because that was in the original too, right?
Like, you would attack, right, instead of parry.
And it would, you would do this like crazy, like incredibly like high damage.
attack. Yeah, just like critical. It's usually like
you're done. You're fucked. Yeah, it's really, it's mega
satisfying to do. The other thing I wanted to say, and I want
to be very specific here because
this is in, this is embargo. So Derek, I want to
make sure, I want to, if, do you think this is going to go live on the day of the
Kirkroversary? The day, uh, just, just the, um,
the, for the patrons only not for the. If you, if you do put it
live tomorrow for patrons, do it after
noon. Afternoon?
Okay, okay. After like 12.
Okay. Yeah, no problem.
Because I'm about to talk about Wolverine.
Gotcha.
Dude.
It is so
whatever.
It is so...
I was like miserable playing
playing through the last half of this game, dude.
It is crazy. I don't know
if it's bad.
necessarily because it's like everything of it like it looks good it plays fine
like the and I'm like not an X-Men guy so like there's probably like a lot of shit that I don't
I'm not picking up on there's a lot of shit that I probably just don't give a shit about
there's a lot of characters that probably means something to someone but like it literally
is just I'm pressing square the entire time isn't in the same world of Spider-Man like does
they reference Spider-Man at all or no not that I caught um I
I didn't see anything.
I was actually waiting for something like that.
Like, oh, maybe they're going to do something like that.
But, like, it doesn't, I didn't see anything that gave any indication.
Did any of, like, the boss battles feel epic?
Did it, did it even have that at least?
No.
No, it is, it really, I struggle to remember really anything about it that I was like,
damn, that's really good.
I guess the guy who's playing Wolverine does a great job
you know like the acting is great
and like the character stuff is good
I just don't care
you know because I just don't know it
I just don't know anything about this shit
and Wolverine is kind of for me
Wolverine is kind of
he's a little
he's he's slightly very lame
he's been bastardized
the same way Spider-Man has I think
I think he put those
character isn't too much and it makes them silly.
I don't think it's that.
I just think it's it's.
I think it's,
I think it's,
it's better than Wolverine,
but I think like,
but what I'm saying is like,
like,
I'm playing the game and I'm like,
this is just an angry dude who like slashes a lot.
You know what I mean?
Like,
it's not.
Oh yeah,
they're not going to put you the nuance of him in,
in the game.
It's like,
it's going to be too boring,
you know,
an action game.
Well,
no,
there is.
There,
no,
here,
oh,
I'm glad you brought this up.
Oh, really?
So,
it's all like shit. This isn't like, this isn't like a five out of ten or whatever. But like,
so Wolverine is a character. He slashes with the square button a lot. And that's really all
you can do. You can do some heavy attacks maybe, which you, which you do. There's parrying.
Uh, I get it. But you're playing as Wolverine this entire time. The entire time. Meanwhile,
there's like mutants around you with their own power sets.
that look cool and fun,
and you're stuck as Wolverine.
A character that really arguably by himself
is not that interesting to play as, right?
In Spider-Man,
they made your ass play as Mary Jane, dude.
She gets her little stun gun, though.
They made you play as, like,
powerless, like, powerless sneaking through fucking rubble in that game, dude.
Like, they made you do,
they made you do little science experiments
in the fucking.
lab that were these like fucking hexic HD mini games because they're like,
oh, Spider-Man's too boring of a character by himself.
We got to like diversify the gameplay up and make you play as other characters.
But in a game where like fucking Gene Gray is in there, you've got these other like mutants
that I'm like, oh, I wonder if I'm going to get to play as, no.
Wolverine the entire time.
So you're just like, ah, bob, bob, ah, bob, ah.
for like 14 hours
and I was just like
bro like I don't know man
I see how
I see how for some people that can get
stale like really quickly
I totally especially
when I'm trying to think of like people who
who like guns who like projectiles
like essentially
it kind of immediately they're like damn
and then you also
I imagine
even if you are a hack and slasher
type of person, a Wolverine
doesn't get any other
slashes.
Like as far as, you know,
like someone can get a sword and axe. They can have
different weapons and do different type of combo styles
and where you're just using
the Justice Claws.
But like, so I'm the
person that I
like the berserer
Wolverine shit. So like the
movie game,
it never got old for me to
like pounce on a guy and rip him to shreds.
just because it was just from from my perspective of like we didn't get to see wolverine do what he can do and like say in a cartoon setting because for obvious reasons so getting that seeing him finally unleash in a way that he could in like the comics and certain comics was really cool for me and do you think I can say about this obviously I haven't played it yeah something from the very beginning has just felt off and I can't put my finger on it
it feels like a game that was uh that had some trouble because there's some like sequences where
you're like how did we get here you know like it feels a little bit like they they had a tough time
figuring it out i never played x2 i didn't play the game when you play as wolverine effectively
the whole game and it just looked like that again to me oh interesting how did how did how did you how did you
what did you what did you what were your what were the main enemies in uh x2 like and what
Did you, did you, like, mutilate anybody?
Um, you didn't, it wasn't graphic.
It wasn't like super graphic.
You obviously used your claws to kill people, but it wasn't graphic.
It wasn't like, oh, you're dismembering people.
Right, like the way that clause would, his claws wouldn't do.
Yeah, Wolverine is the single most violent comic character simply based on his powers.
Like, he's eviscerating and lacerating people.
Like, that's, that's, it's extremely violent.
That's why it's hard to make a game for him, especially,
If you're trying to cater it towards a younger audience,
which is obviously mostly the audience for video games,
younger people.
So it's like it's,
I get like I like X-Men Origins because I like how he,
for me is the lunge.
That's a woman.
If I'm like a little bit of a little bit,
you got a lot of people.
Does it have it in this game?
Is it like a thing in the game?
So it's like the triangle thing from Spider-Man,
how it's like,
you know how like the press triangle and you like web zip to a guy
and you like attack him.
It works kind of like that.
But like,
it's not, you don't, I don't know, it's hard to explain.
Like, there's not a lot of impact to it and it kind of feels a little bit.
Yeah, Wolverine is less dynamic.
It feels a little, it doesn't feel as strong as it.
And the other thing, too, is like, I was expecting, dude, we're, we got, we're, it's PlayStation 5.
You know what I mean?
We're, we're, we're several generations ahead of Wolverine, that first, uh, what is it,
the X-Men origins.
And we've had games like, uh, Metal Gear Rising Revengeance, right?
where you're cutting and it's mega satisfying.
There's kind of none of that here.
Like it's not really that bloody either.
It's also got a gears four problem, Derek.
We're like, dude, there's so many robots.
Oh, Stacy, there it is.
And it's just like, you fight the what to call it?
You're fighting the marauders, right?
I don't know what you're fighting.
I was like checked out.
Because like...
You're trying a lot of the marauders.
It really is so...
It really is so...
The reverse.
The re-mindless.
And then there's the like traversal challenges that you do like these.
And I,
I'm not even exaggerating.
They were all so easy to get like the highest rating because like what is there?
You're just running and jumping kind of.
There's like there's no.
Like Wolverine's not a true like there's no traversal.
And you know how in like X-Men origins Wolverine you could do the pounce regardless?
Like you could just,
in X-Men origins Wolverine you could pounce to enemies,
but you could also just pounce.
Yeah.
You can't just pounce.
Like, you have to pounce two in it.
Oh, it has to be locked onto somebody.
Yeah.
And so, like, it's, there's also, like, really weird glaring omissions, too, in my opinion for, like, a hack and slash game, which is, you can, you can't, you can't, you can't, like, a light attack or a heavy attack on the ground.
It should be, like, one thing and then another thing.
But if you're in the air and you do either of those, it should be, like, a down, like, you know what I mean?
Like a downslash or something.
There's really none of that either.
So it's kind of like, I don't know.
No, man. It was just, I was, when I finish it, I was like, damn, is this like bad?
It's not, I think, I think it tries to skirt the line between a hack and slash and an action adventure game, which I think is the problem I saw from the beginning.
I was like, oh, you're not, you're not, you're not hack a slash enough.
But the problem is that Wolverine doesn't make sense to hack and slash that way, if you're making a game like, if insomnia acts making it.
Like, like, I just, it's just there's not a lot of, it's just that there's not a lot of satisfying feedback onto your slashes.
Like, I feel like this game could be exactly the same.
But if your, if your attacks were landing and people's limbs were coming off, you know?
Yeah, like, program them without their arm.
Yeah, like, I'm trying to combat you and you still stab them.
And you can do that, but like, it never, like, your claws never feel strong enough.
Like, it always feels like you're kind of barely doing damage to people, even, even though, like, your blood's flying out of them.
And you just slash their legs off, but their legs are there still.
and like you're really digging into these people
and it's like these really should be dead by now
I feel like it should almost be like Wolverine should almost be
like Dynasty Warriors kind of thing
you know what I mean?
Yes and no.
We're not exactly that.
What I'm saying is like there should be like a high enemy density
so that way like when you're cutting people up with your claws
you feel like they're strong and like you're actively like dismembering people
and like maybe like oh a dude's leg comes off and now he's got to crawl at you
you know?
Stuff like that.
Yeah, there's really none of that.
Making it less realistic in a way like, oh, we're going to set it like,
oh, we're going to have just like, there's 10 enemies.
No, no, no, you can bring in 30.
I know that in a realistic scenario, you wouldn't have that many agents.
So, but like for the sake of the game, hell yeah.
And what I was thinking of too when I'm just reviewing all the footage in my head that I've seen,
there is a, there is something that almost feels Gumby like about it,
that it doesn't feel satisfying when he's like impaling people.
And I feel like that's the thing maybe that I'm like,
because I was like trying to,
how do I interpret this?
Like it doesn't,
everything that I would see that the kills weren't.
And I think that's also a problem with just the cinematography.
It's not like connecting in a way that I'm like,
it,
I'm like,
you know,
the thing that I'm looking for it.
Because I always,
I'm like,
oh,
that looks cool.
But it never felt like the way that,
I don't know,
when I was first playing Origins Wolverine,
there was something about that that felt more.
satisfying and I don't know if that's also ruining it for me too where I feel like I'm going to
enjoy this game regardless but it's it might be I was like damn is this going to be a one and
done for me just even thinking about it and uh it was definitely for me like I because again I think
I think probably if you'd like X-Men you'll probably like I mean the story is probably
going to be worth it for you you know what I mean like I think they're probably doing shit that
like they're probably doing deep deep cut shit that I'm just not aware of and and I've never really
I've never had a particularity towards the X-Men.
I've never been like a team,
a superhero team person anyway.
So like,
I already kind of anticipated that I would be soft on the game,
but I thought like maybe like,
oh, the gameplay would pull me through.
And it just kind of didn't.
If I'm being very honest,
personally for me,
I don't like Wolverine being the main focus of X-Men ever.
I actually hate it.
Because Wolverine is supposed to be like a,
the X-Men is supposed to be the people that rein him in.
So like when Wolverine is on the team,
he's not going buck wild this.
remembering people.
But like there needs to be like solo missions when it's like, hey, Wolverine, Logan,
go in there and do what you do.
And he goes in there and he makes a mess.
And that's how I'd like to see him.
Like he like, this mission is Wolverine's mission.
We drop Wolverine in and it's like, hey, there's hand people here and they're trying to do
X, Y, and Z go clean it up.
And Wolverine's like, all right, cool.
And he goes in there and he's cutting people's limbs off.
slash people in half, jumping across rooms, like stuff like that,
where it's like the regular X-Men, you kind of use them on missions that are kind of like
more tactical.
That's how I, that's how I would do.
It would be an X-Man game, not a Wolverine game.
But I understand that that's a lot more work, a lot more actors, a lot more energy that I think,
then I think they're not really, we saw with Spider-Man, Miles Morales, they're not exactly
the best at transitioning stories between people.
Not most Maras.
Myz was fine with Spider-Man, too.
I love that game.
I think it's really good.
but I think it's failing is the back and forth story nature of Spider-Man of Peter and Miles.
So that's how I would have handled it.
But it looks, it just looked kind of like, like an action game to me when I saw it.
I was like this looks like this game came out before.
I just want to, I wonder how well it's going to do because when I think about the greater audience,
I think there's a lot of people that are craving this type of content.
And it's one of the reasons why Wolverine even became so popular in the first place because of the idea of the marauder, the Wolverine, the guy that's just tearing people to shreds because you don't really get to see that in a superhero setting, you know, like the antihero.
So antiheroes a lot of times just explode in popularity.
You think about like Cratos, right?
Like most people that enjoy Cretos don't have violent tendencies, but you just love seeing some guy just beat the piss out of people because it's crazy.
It's crazy to see shit like that.
And so it might, you know, like the way that we're experiencing it
or the way that we're thinking about it and the average person that,
especially that probably never played X-Men Orders Wolverine,
because that shit was totally under the radar.
Maybe it'll do way better than we're even kind of,
I don't know, I don't know what you're thinking, like how well it's going to do.
I think it's going to do good no matter of what.
I think it'll do well.
I think people like Wolverine.
Yeah, for sure.
People like Insomniac.
I think it'll do well.
I just think like, and you know what?
Honestly, if they didn't, if this game came out like two years ago, right, where it was
originally supposed to, I don't think I would feel the way that I do.
I think part of it is like, man, they spent a long time making this.
And it doesn't necessarily feel that worthwhile.
Like I would have much rather had by this.
I would have much rather at this point, by this point in time, like had Spider-Man 3 already.
You know, like, that to me would have been more worth the squeeze than whatever this is.
If this was, if this was like an interstitial between like Spider-Man games and it didn't take as long, it would have been like, oh, okay, it makes sense.
Yeah, it's cool, like a little Wolverine game.
But, I don't know.
Yeah.
I'm hoping that I'm, I'm hoping the overwhelming feeling that I've had really just like makes it so much better for me.
Like when I finally play it, I'm hoping that I'm like, oh, this is like.
like pleasantly.
Yeah,
I'm pleasantly surprised.
I'm really,
that's what I'm banking on.
I'm like,
oh,
because I'm already.
My goal,
my goal is to,
is to throw your expectations so low that when you play it,
you're kind of pleasantly surprised that you don't dislike it as much as I do.
Yeah.
I think,
I think that works.
Good stuff, man.
That's good stuff.
It is,
it is good stuff.
Oh,
you know,
it's another thing that's sad that like,
and,
and to be fair,
this is like a,
this is kind of a whatever thing,
but I'm just sad that this is the way things are now.
There's a lot of quick time events in the game.
Like you, you know, hold L2 and R2 in a cutscene to fucking do your claws or whatever.
I don't think about that.
If you don't do it, it happens anyway.
Yeah, that's what?
Spider-Man was the first time I saw that.
Okay.
If you don't do it, it happens anyway.
If you press the wrong button, it happens anyway.
So what's the point?
What is the punish for not doing it?
There's nothing.
Nothing at all?
Nothing.
Literally nothing.
There were many times where like it said whole press R2 to like, I was on top of like some robot or whatever and I was clawing and it said whole press L2.
It was like, what happens if I press X?
And it and it does it.
And I'm just like, well, what's I.
The art of animating a full roster of failed quick time events, that almost would have made the game worth it for me.
Like if I could watch Wolverine like not get his claws out and die.
in like a cutscene
I loved that shit
like the Spider-Man 3 for the 360
had a bunch of these
or like
you would do like
there were quick time events
tied to like acrobatics
and sometimes like
and sometimes Peter would jump
and you would miss
you would miss the quick time event
and you would hit your head
on a fucking rail and die
and it was just like
it is the funniest stuff
and some of the most fun things
the most fun thing about quick time events
is failing them to be honest with you
like that is
I loved that shit back in the day
the
they that is see
it's weird saying that because
that is the only reason
in my mind
that they've existed
that is the only reason they've existed
where it's like if you fail this
little mini game
you fucking have a consequence
of either dying or being
seriously hurt
you get to fail or die or take damage
in a really cinematic way that during
gameplay you couldn't
you know you fail something crazy
crushed by two cars real slowly
or something like, dude, the
worst ones are, like,
the kind of things, if you don't do them correctly
in that, that Tomb Raider remake,
and like, yeah, she fucking has
so many brutal death animations.
It's crazy.
It was almost borderline.
I was like, God damn, guys.
It's really nice, though. It's nice.
That was one of those games
that were like,
that Tomb Raider game was crazy
because like the way she dies in some of those cutscenes,
I'm like,
if this,
if this game finds its way into the hands of a young boy at the wrong time,
they could develop something really scary.
You know,
because like some of them are like weirdly sexual the way she dies.
And I'm like,
hmm.
It definitely,
it can be interpreted,
interpreted that way by a young mind for sure.
Yeah. Some of them were, you know, I remember my favorite one is because Conan O'Brien was playing it when he would do a series.
Oh, yeah, that's right. When he was doing a clueless gamer. Yes. That guy. Yeah. And there's, we're going down this river and you get impaled. Your throat gets impaled by some like sharp like sticks or something. I can't remember. Yeah. And I'm just like, damn, they put that in this cave. That is your, you're, they animated her like grabbing onto it too.
And, and, like, moaning and shit.
Like, it's just like, it is crazy.
It is your protagonist.
Like, that's only, that was only in Resident Evil, like in Resident Evil, like in Resident Evil, like,
having some, like, crazy deaths.
Yeah.
There was some brutal.
Well, there's, no, it's always been brutal ones.
Well, in the, they weren't like.
Not in the original.
Yeah.
They weren't animated in the way that, like.
The games just wasn't.
Yeah.
The animation was bad.
That's basically what I'm saying.
Because the dogs will bite you and you'd be, like, fighting not to bite it.
And I remember, I don't, I don't, I don't,
know how I would mess up button matches when I was little.
I just, because now I'm like, these are so easy.
I can't believe there was a version of me that would get
caught up by these. Like, they don't even give me tension anymore.
Like, I'm just going to press this button quite a few times.
And that's it. The only button mash my that's been hard is the brolder with Chris.
Like that shit is actually hard.
It was not easy.
Because it's a long sequence.
It's annoying.
It's not like, oh, press these two buttons for a little bit.
You're like, oh, press these two buttons.
Mashing, mash these two together.
Press these thing.
And it's like, all right, this should take.
too long. I'm getting annoyed.
The only annoying ones were
the OG god of war games.
The OG god of war games.
Because first of all, in three, they kind of fixed it where they took
out the most annoying ones. Because there was a lot
of like swirling ones. You got a curve left and right with the analog
sticks. And sometimes you didn't swirl right and you would fuck it up.
And then the way that they fixed it on the third one
is that like, depending on the button, they would put it on that side of the screen.
So now you didn't really have to like think about
Okay, so if it's triangle, it's going to be on the top of the screen.
If it's X is going to be on the bottom, you know, basically where the button layout is.
The first two games didn't do that.
So it was very easy to fail quick time events.
And you would.
And then you're like, oh, great.
Now I need to stun this boss again and do it.
It was not going to beat up this fucking ogre again.
Yeah, I really.
He gets all his health back to.
You're like, no.
No.
Yeah.
I miss quick time events failing.
You know, like, I miss that.
What's the point of putting them in?
That's what I'm feeling.
Like, the way that I feel about it is just like,
if you're just going to give me a quick time events that I can't fail,
just give me a cutscene.
I would much rather sit and watch whatever cool animation you're,
like, because immediately I'm thinking,
oh, this is lame now because it's just on rails.
But if you didn't give me a button prompt,
I would just think, oh, this is a cool cutscene.
You know, we're used to cutscenes.
Like, it's not.
crazy for us to sit and watch something cool for a little bit.
Like, it's fine.
You're allowed to do that.
You don't have to do this thing where, like,
you're trying to convince me that this is gameplay.
Like, I don't care.
You know?
Yeah, it's weird.
In fact, it's, like, hurting the pacing of it.
Because, like, this great animation is being constantly, like,
slowed down waiting for me to press a button that, like,
I don't even have to hit accurately anyway in order for it to continue.
So it's, I don't know.
Weird.
It's very weird.
I don't know if it was the difficulty that I was playing out because I was playing on normal because I was like I'm not trying to extend.
Oh, can you imagine that's the only way you have to put it on a harder setting for you to actually affect.
That's crazy.
That would be better.
It would like I, but something tells me you can't fail.
I'm going to try that out.
I'm going to try that out and see if there is any difference of that.
Because that feels that makes it.
It would make sense to put that on easy.
You put it on an easy mode, some casual mode.
and then it's like you can't fail them.
I get that.
I totally understand that.
Right. Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean,
that would be a good accessibility thing for like young kids.
100%.
But yeah,
I just remember that because the first,
the first thing you do in the game is like you,
uh,
he's like,
kind of charging up.
He's bringing his arms up real slow.
And then he's supposed to hit the thing.
And then if you just let it go,
it just,
it doesn't.
Oh!
It's like,
this is not off to a great start.
but
I don't know,
Wolverine.
Brass that button,
I think he's a funny character
to me like
because I think he's
cringe but also cool
at the same time.
Yeah.
He's like tiny
and like angry and hairy
I will say
the guy does a great job.
I think whoever they
dumb.
I think the guy
did a good job
like the guy that they got.
You're actually,
I don't know if he's
I don't know if he's a great
Wolverine because I don't know
much about him.
He's not the Wolverine
that I imagine.
Like I imagine
Wolverine being a lot more like
like this guy seems
like a functioning adult.
to be honest.
We'll ring very stoic.
That's the best to describe his character.
He's like hyperstoic.
I don't have sex with you,
Bub.
You just like made me realize
circumcise you,
Bub.
Come here.
He's just surgically,
strategically circumcising like dudes.
He's not even using his claws.
He's using regular like fucking gear.
He puts his claws away and gets a scalpel.
So stupid.
There you go.
You're missing.
part of yourself, Bob. I don't have a Wolverine
action figure, which is crazy to me.
I know I've lost the ones that I've had
over time, but I've never replaced.
I've never replaced them. And you kind of just
made me realize that. Look at the link at this son, guys.
Oh, great. It's probably
Wolverine with his penis out or something.
No, I have
that too, if you want. No, it's actually worse.
It's actually worse than that, Derek,
because it's not
relevant to anything we were
talking. It's funny as fuck, though.
Is that not hilarious? You know who that is?
No, I don't know what that's Jewish blade
That's what that is
That's blade from freaking rivals
But he's Jewish
Oh I didn't
Israel blade
It's blades real
Blades real
I wouldn't have like
I haven't seen what blade looks like in rivals
So I didn't get it
It's so jarring
That skin looks way too well made
It looks way too well made
Someone made that like took work
Oh wow they're putting out a fucking
Damn it of course
they're putting out a metal slug collection
oh nice don't they
have like a bunch of them already i don't get it
i guess it's like this is the ultimate
one i guess it's uh one
they better have every single one like there's not like nine of them or something
yeah it's one two x three four five
slug advance six seven and then
legendary metal slug location
test version never officially released
what the fuck is that interesting
well i'm not getting it anyway because it's the fucking
Saudi royal family
I know.
It's really hard.
I already own some metal slugs through these, those classic packs and stuff.
I'm good.
Thank God.
Yeah.
That makes me sad.
I love those games in arcade.
Thank you.
Dude,
I used to think the POWs were bums.
Me too.
I was like,
what are these homeless guys doing in the middle of these battle?
Everybody thought that.
Right?
I used to not save him sometimes.
I was like,
I just didn't know what was going on.
I don't have any change.
asshole.
Get away from me.
I remember.
I remember.
like, oh, they're invincible to bullets.
Weird. And then I just keep
going. Exactly.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Dude, I associate that game.
That game is so closely associated
with like, there was a pizza place I used to go to on the way to my school.
And there was a pizza place with, I think,
it might have been Marvelous to Capcom there as well,
but like I very specifically remember Metal Slug being in that pizza place.
And so like the smell of pizza and like a dimly lit.
And it was the, it was like one of two arcade machines there.
It wasn't like an arcade.
they just had them there.
Right.
And so like it's a very nostalgic
fucking game.
For me there was this place
they would,
they would just have like
it was a chicken spot
literally of course
as the Bronx.
But I'd go there
it'd be like you'd pay like
$2.2.99 or $3.99
to get like chicken fries
and like a drink.
And I remember my grandmother
would send me there sometimes
and go pick up freaking food.
Those were the fucking days man.
We got $9.
$9 bean and cheese burritos.
She would send me there
and I would grab that
and I would take whatever.
She's like whatever.
She's like whatever last change.
stuff over you can have you do whatever you want and I would always play that game there and I remember
bringing my friends there too and it was such a good experience and I look back at it like I look back
at like living in the cities sometimes and I'm like dude my grandmother would send me like blocks
away to do shit when I was like a fucking pre toddler yeah you were yeah I used to ride the bus
everywhere as a fucking under 10 years old yeah it's crazy it's like whole shit you know it's like
dang it's definitely different now like it feels like the it's something
Something shifted to where obviously bad stuff was happening before, but like, we didn't know.
The propaganda made us more afraid of our neighbors.
That's the biggest problem.
I get it to a certain extent because you just don't.
People should have been more afraid of their neighbors than they were.
Sure.
But it's it was people got too afraid of.
Yeah.
Because like myself like the way of my, if I had a kid, 10 year old kid, you know, I don't
think I'd let him ride the bus alone right now.
I just don't feel comfortable with it.
even though I did it.
You know what I'm saying?
Like I just so totally.
I'm part of the,
the propaganda works, man.
It worked because.
That is the truest problem with America as our community.
We have no community this country.
There's more people.
Really bad.
Yeah.
No, you're right about that.
It's really bad.
We're not doing.
Help that everybody.
No,
go ahead and sorry.
Oh, no.
No,
I was just real quick.
I was just saying that we're not really doing anything to,
we're not doing like community watches to make sure that these freaks don't have
an opportunity to like grab people. I think that's like the biggest issue. We're not working together
to make sure it doesn't happen. Well, the big thing I think is actually really and this might be like
maybe overthinking it a little bit, but I do think a lot of that is like people are constantly
being pushed out of where they lived because like rents are too high. Neighborhoods are constantly
changing. So like nobody really has a chance to establish a community in the first place. Good point.
Because no one stays. Dude, like the amount of this is the longest I've ever lived anywhere.
in this apartment.
In my 20s, I was moving constantly.
Yeah.
Like I never stayed on the same block for more than like a year and a half for like most of my 20s basically.
Because we had the Acacia place.
We had the Hilda place.
We had the Olive Place.
We had the Angelino place.
You know, that's like that's four in just like six years.
A lot of places.
What's crazy is that a lot of the places I lived, I actually found, I met with.
like I met people in apartments and I would like chat with them.
But the problem is that.
You're afraid of you.
That's that doesn't, well, I mean, some of them probably.
I wouldn't surprise me.
But a lot of times is that people just don't have the time to do that.
Like I was speaking to my aunt back home, back home.
My aunt knows everyone in development we lived in.
Right.
She knows them.
They all.
Because they've been there.
Yeah, they've been there for a long time.
I remember that.
My parents, like, there was an old lady who lived like right next, like in the apartment
next to my parents house.
and she was over all the time
she would come over and she would eat
she would bring like weird
shit that I didn't give a shit about
you know
like she's cool like Lily
she was also like 80 when I was like six
so like I have nothing in common with you
yeah Lily knows her front neighbor
her neighbor behind her directly
she knew the old neighbor but that
the obviously classic white white American
took his older mom through her in the home
sold the house
and then the people next door
they sold the house where they moved somewhere else and it's just like yo dude you don't know
we live beside so we don't understand what they think you haven't met them you haven't met
any of them yet i know i know them now okay i know the other apartment the people next to us are
armenian people they are like russian armenians and the people to the left is like a single
mom with like two kids you ever peeked in her window or anything you know just checking on her
checking on the kids just you know just making sure they're okay you ever wear you ever wear a really
scary Halloween mask at night time and staring to their kids' window.
But what happened is that people get older and crotch.
Lily doesn't put Lily's mom doesn't put her kindie out for Halloween.
Why not?
Close the gate.
She's grouchy.
She's a grouching.
So she's like,
yeah, that's, I feel like if you have a house, I feel like it's different
you have an apartment.
Let me get the fuck out of here.
Go get that.
Go get the houses.
Traditionally, that's just how I feel.
I don't know.
Like, I went to.
If I had a house, I would do it.
I was a council meeting.
I went to two weeks ago.
And the people don't even know each other there.
And it's like, dude, everyone's sitting there.
I'm sitting there and I'm trying to figure out the bearings of what the hell they're talking about because I'm effectively a child trying to be an adult.
Kingston, did you trick-or-treating in apartment buildings?
No, never apartment buildings.
We actually did it.
And it was like really normal.
Never in the buildings now.
We did it in the stores.
I don't know what that that's about.
We would hit the bodegas.
We hit the bodegas.
Oh, really?
Yeah, we would go to the McDonald's and stuff like that.
Oh, yeah.
We would do the convenience stores would do the convenience stores for Halloween was awesome.
bless up. They'd be
all the stock they're trying to get rid of because they have too much shit in the store.
Exactly.
So they would just be giving the kid like full size freaking pay days and stuff.
And I'd be like, yeah, let's go.
That shit was that's cool.
Nah, we had to go to the rich neighborhoods because we, stores didn't do that like that over here.
That's interesting.
But that's because of the fact that you guys are spread out more.
Yeah.
Hell yeah.
Over here it strikes me over here it strikes me more like the way it was in upstate
actually Kingston where like there were there were neighborhoods.
that people would drive to.
Yeah.
For Halloween for trick-or-treating.
That was like-
I lived in one of those neighborhoods
so I never had to drive anywhere.
That's the thing.
That's for me.
I never, like for me,
Halloween,
I would just hit,
I would hit like our development
and I'd come back with two like big,
like pillow cases of candy.
And my grandma was like,
you know we're going to give that away.
And I'm like, I know.
Yeah, I remember,
I remember there was like some,
there was some road.
I can't remember exactly where,
but like there was some place
upstate where we grew up.
That was like the Halloween
place where like there was like all the
decorations were up and everybody just kind of
understood where to go and that's
like where people were designated. You could not
do that shit on my street. On my street you would
you get hit by a car and die because there's
no sidewalks and it's dark as fuck
and there's no lights. You lived closer
to like where it got wooded.
Yeah. I would get more wooded towards where you live
so over by your house I feel like I'd be a bad
A bear would kill you. I've come to your
house in daytime and it's been dark. So I'm like
Like, all right, maybe it's not like, maybe
maybe not here.
But like where I live, people did it a lot over by,
um, over by where the middle school was.
Was the last time you all trick-or-treated?
For candy for myself?
Yeah.
Maybe I was.
What year you think?
What year you think?
Our final year of high school, we all like hung out on like trick-or-treated with
each other.
Yeah.
That was the last time we did it.
Was anybody?
We all know we were like going our separate ways after our life was going to be different.
So that's when we all linked up and like hung out.
we trigger cheated and we play smash bros
I think I might have been 16
you're not talking about the video game right
what you know
don't worry about that that's your
that's what I'm talking about that's my
that's what I'm talking about
16 years old at the time banging
a dude
I think I was 16 years old
I never got I never got harangued
for being too old
I looked like a child for a really long time
yeah they knew they knew they
us my development that's why i was also so small that like i think people just believed inherently that
i was a child anyway nice but yeah i don't but that's back in the day man i and they don't
it's so funny how Halloween has completely shifted as a holiday because now it's just like you just
you just find a a relatively good costume and then just go to a party and like drink until you
your head hurts yeah that's a that's typically what it is now for adults yeah for younger people
Halloween, it's still, it's still very cool.
Because I go, I go with my nephews every year.
What do you go as when you go with your nephews?
I'm an adult. I don't go as anything. I don't, I've never been to Halloween just a person.
What the fuck do you mean? You used to go, uh, trick, treating as like, as a black guy.
I would have like, like, I would take my, I would, when I lived in the Bronx, I would just go with, I would, like, just go as a person.
I would just go as a kid. Because not people didn't really dress up in the city. Like, if you're
dressed up in the city for Halloween, I'm, you're a target.
It would be like, oh, you.
What are they going to do?
Oh, you looks, I don't know.
Just be a jerk,
bully to you.
This pissing to New York City is awesome,
specifically because it's like, it feels like,
it feels like, it feels like,
you,
do you remember DC Universe Online?
Yeah.
Like all the, that's, like,
or shit like that, like,
all these fucking psychos
dressed as the craziest shit ever,
just roaming the streets of New York.
It was awesome.
But that was,
you did that in your college phase.
I'm talking about when I was,
I did it.
You're right.
Yeah.
I was a kid in the Bronx.
Because I know in Manhattan,
well, in the Bronx, they have a Halloween parade too, actually.
They do have one there as well.
But in Manhattan, it's like, they really shouldn't.
They really shouldn't.
They really should not.
Because you,
because literally a legit demon would be like,
just walking around causing trouble.
But like, so for us,
it'd be like weird because it's very unsuppressed.
There should be more parents out.
It's insane how few parents are out during that period of time.
But it's like, that's the time where some bad job.
No, it's good.
You got to give the prowlers a chance.
too, dude. You can't make it too fair.
Yeah. It's kind of like how you have to have
like, it's like game design. It's like balance,
you know? Yeah. Can't make it too
easy for kids to not get abducted
because they don't learn anything. Oh,
okay. You know, come on, man.
You got to sharpen their skills.
What do you think that's trying to fucking teach
us the whole time, dude?
Exactly, exactly. It's why
you know, there's no better time to leave your kids
unattended out in the street than when
everybody is, then when it's
socially acceptable for adults to wear masks.
in public.
It was,
those moments were really fun.
I look back on those moments
very fondly now.
I'm like,
those are good times.
Because we were all just like dumb kids.
I remember there was a few times.
I remember there was a few times.
We went trick-treating.
One of my friends dropped his bag of candy.
Spilled the all right over a great of us to where lost bunch of candy.
So we all like got together.
We shared candy with him.
They went up to my friend's house.
He played Budakai 2 for like,
no,
no,
it was Budakai 1 for like an hour and a half.
And my grandmother was like,
where are you?
I thought this was going to be like,
but it was,
But it was in my building.
A kidnapping story.
No.
A prowler.
Thank God I never got kidnapped.
But they were going to go to Appalachia and get grabbed or something.
I thought I wasn't sure what we were talking about.
The grabber grabs me from Appalachia.
Yeah.
He reaches his hand and picks me up from the past.
That guy's real, man.
That guy's a real.
We're going to find out in a few years of the Appalachian grabber, that guy is like he's actually grabbing people.
Like, no joke.
It's like the Burbank, uh, the Burbank sniff.
Oh, they got him again, dude.
They got him again.
This fucking piece of shit keeps...
This is like the third time, no?
I think so.
Because I thought he was a two-time offender.
At this point, he's a love of the game.
He definitely got arrested again for...
So there's the Glendale slash Burbank butt sniffer for anybody that's, you know,
we all know about this locally.
But, yeah, there's a guy that just loves going to public spaces a lot of times book
stores for whatever fucking reason,
tries the sniff females' butts.
And what's so funny about it to me is,
I'm like,
what is he actually trying to,
because,
you know,
if you,
realistically,
if you were trying to actually smell something,
any type of scent,
you would have to be like shoved in their butt cheeks.
Like,
you would actually have to like,
being like even like,
the game good for it.
Well,
he's like,
what if I get a whiff?
You know,
like what,
so like he's trying to find,
someone who actively is just
has extremely poor hygiene
to where you can smell their ass
like a foot away from them.
Smelliest ass possible.
That is so fucking gross.
Absolutely.
That is.
Derek, this guy sniffs ass. You think he's the most
hygienic, upstanding guy?
No, not at all. I've just...
Did you, did you like...
No, that's not what I thought at all. I'm just like...
I thought he'd do better.
No, he sniffed ass. It's definitely not what I
I was thinking of more like, I'm questioning, sir, what are you trying to accomplish?
Because I feel like it's all in your head.
It's in the way that, you know how we have like a sometimes we have these psychosomatic things that happened to us.
Like in the way that him, is he just like imagining like when he's close to their butts?
Like he's like, oh, this is, I can smell the corn and the, you know, like he's just like imagining shit.
He's just, he's just nuts.
He's obviously a crazy person, but this is one of the few times where, you know, like, I don't really care that much about the serial killer and why he's doing it.
I'm like, well, he's insane and likes to kill.
All right.
Next.
The butt sniffer, though.
Why not you sit him down on Pierce's Mortgage show?
I want to see him on, I want to see him on old Dr. Phil, you know?
Why do you like to sniff butt so much?
What do you think going around sniffing butts is doing you?
favors. He was like, well, Dr. Phil, I guess I love the smell of colon.
Yes, the asses are sexy. What do you mean?
Now, don't we love, we love butts. Now, sir, what we're going to do is we're going to send
you to a facility off the grid, beat you up every day, and hopefully by the end of it,
you'll forget that this is even a proclivity that you have. I'm going to sniff your butt,
Dr. Phil.
He immediately
He just grabs it in a frame.
His pants are off in two frames.
Dr.
Dr.
Phil is like,
and he's holding him over him
whiffing him.
And Dr. Phil's kind of like sit forward.
You could see him
getting gray.
He's taking that color off of him.
Taking his life was like,
oh, Jesus.
Oh.
He looks, he's starting to look like, eventually grip to the right wing.
He's starting to look like, he's starting to look like Hercules when he's like,
in the fucking vast.
Oh, yeah, when he's in the sticks.
What he's in the river sticks?
Dude.
That is hysterical.
He just this guy sniffing, sniffing the color out of Dr. Phil through his ass is great.
It's so awesome.
You see, you see that guy getting a little bit more powerful.
You see him growing a little bit.
He looks like.
Bopovic.
Toss his fucking, Dr. Phil, like he's just a used napkin.
He snips the color out the room, bro.
It starts lunging like Wolverine onto other asses.
He's like, no, stop, stop.
And then we would have to think, was he able to do this before?
You know, I think his intention, Dr. Phil drawing enough attention to him,
kind of set off a reaction, a magical reaction, that,
gave him the powder and bowled himself.
He's like a vampire.
He's like he's, he got actively sniffing asses at that moment.
He's been hungry for ass this whole time.
I guess he's not a bit.
He's like, was he an ass pyre?
This guy's an ass fire.
That's crazy.
Yes, sir.
That's good stuff right there.
That is good stuff.
I didn't realize how stupid it was until I said it.
I like that.
I like that.
We can make a fucking romance novel based on this piece of shit and
at some other rival.
I don't know what's his rival,
but we're going to make it.
The wear pussy,
I guess.
Yeah, some,
some kind of bullshit from a pussy.
Ooh,
isn't it a weird?
A werewolf movies coming out.
Oh,
yeah,
it looks good.
It,
I mean,
I haven't seen enough.
It looks sent like.
It looks weird.
I mean,
I guess,
I don't know.
I wasn't paying attention to the to the trailers because there was way too many of them when I went to the movie.
It was a werewolf movie?
Like 40 minutes of trailers this time and I was like, this is fucking crazy.
I thought it was with,
what effectively the same cast as fucking Nosiratu literally.
So that's what I was like,
I think it's probably produced by the same people.
I'm just assuming.
I assume so.
Yeah.
I wasn't paying attention to it.
I just saw.
Oh, yeah.
Robert Eggers.
Okay.
I'm going to do Franken nigga next.
I would have done that first.
Like a black Frankenstein?
Yeah.
exactly.
And everybody assumes he's like,
I like that he felt the need to
to further specify what you meant.
I thought he was referring to Frankenstein,
not exactly Franken nigga.
Frankenig.
And he's just fine.
He's like regular intelligence.
Everybody's like,
I can't believe you're so smart.
And it's like.
So it's like super racist.
Wow.
Have human parts.
Wow, boy.
You speak good.
Are you sure he's made of only?
Negroes? I can't believe it.
And it's like, what do you guys talk about?
See, Dr. Frankenstein stole a bunch
of black dudes, chopped them up and just
made a fucking freak
dude from different parts.
It's like, he's just LeBron. Why?
You just remade
LeBron. I like, I like
he steals LeBron's
brain.
La Frankie. He steals Wimby's
arms.
Wimby.
Ooh, making the perfect basketball
player is awesome. I like that's what
Franken niggas.
he's trying to make the perfect athlete
the perfect like he wants to
oh um lebron's fucking IQ of the game
wimby's stupid arms that can block anything
um i don't know what legs shack's legs because they're
really big and strong
who has the best vessel as a athlete
less bodies out past on you gotta
you can't pick you have to
it can't just be one body that's boring
that's true it gets it gets he
so much of it would be lebron
so we lock it up we're only
doing LeBron's brain.
LeBron's brain is not having anything crazy.
His IQ is actually off the charts.
His IQ's off the charts.
His basketball is off the chart, I just say, his basketball IQ is off the chart, I just
say.
His physical body is much of the physical body.
But imagine if he had a better body and that brain, it would be even crazy.
Yes.
Imagine if he had Wimby's arms, dude, you literally would block everything.
Are we sure Wemagnama isn't a frank?
Like, if you zoom into, if you zoom in to Wembenyana,
Wemanyama's head.
Are there, are there little things?
It's just a little faint because they're getting better at
disappearing the surgical scars.
I'm really,
I'm really positive.
Wembe was like a xenomorph,
but he just didn't finish the transition.
He just got a little bit of,
like,
like what happens if you keep making a xenomorph,
grab a human and then grab another human.
You ever see that people who are,
the lutes down the line,
it's a whimby?
Have you seen those people on Instagram that are like,
touched by the tism?
But they're not,
sorry,
sorry, not tism, by the downs, by down syndrome, but not fully there.
Literally Shane Gillis, literally.
I wouldn't, well, this is not the perfect example of what I'm saying, but like, you can see it's in there.
There's, there's better examples. Like, these people go viral on like TikTok and Instagram because you're like, oh, that's what, like, Wimby probably it was like, oh, he was about to turn into a xenomorph.
And for whatever reason, they were able to stop it.
I think he was, I think he's diluted. I think it's after generations of general.
generation eventually.
Oh, so the xenomorph genetics get weaker.
His parents, his parents are xenomores.
No, no, his, maybe his great grandparents.
And then they had sex with humans.
Is that what are you saying?
And then like, and then they had a chest burst or that went on somebody else.
And eventually the chest buries looked less and less like monsters at the point of the point of
just two hands.
It's just effectively two hands on someone's head.
And then eventually a chestburster had sex with a giant African man.
and then that guy made it a France and popped out Wimben,
Victor Wimbun Yama.
And then they were like,
well,
you obviously have to play basketball.
Look at you.
Wimby was born like doing this.
Yeah,
he did have,
he did lose his like some people were born with tails and,
you know,
they'll surgically remove him.
He did have one of those things sticking out of his mouth.
It's still there.
You got to be looked.
Oh,
if you look closely,
he looked closely.
He had the hood and he had to break the
the hood of his head. Chris, that's a good point.
I've never seen Wimby eat. That's a good
fucking point. Because he shoots his tongue
out of his food.
He's like eating a hot dog
in the middle of like the city.
Now I'm going to have to study. We're going to have to be, hey,
none of us, none of us casual
fans have ever seen Wimby. We've never seen you eat. Wim, you've got
to eat right now. Someone's holding one of the
freaking rifles from freaking alien isolation.
Whimby, please eat something right now.
And Wemby is like really insistent that he doesn't do it.
He like really doesn't want to do it.
Yeah.
Wimby, please.
You don't want none of this.
I promise you you don't want to see this.
And the guy's charging up the gun?
You do not want to see this.
I don't want to have to do this to you.
I don't want to have to do this.
And then like, because once he shows you, now he's going to have to kill you.
Right.
So like he's really trying to save this guy's life.
How does he kill somebody?
He like bunches it up into a ball and throws them into space.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
Yeah, he perfectly.
He can,
he grabs them and catapults them out of the planet.
Yeah.
Into the planet.
Wherever he wants.
It's like the scene in the Odyssey with the witch where he just like makes somebody
into a ball.
It's shaping them into a literal official spalding basketball.
Salting ball by the end.
Oh, my.
God. Anyway, fucking... I haven't held us basketball
on a bit, man. Sylvia
makes a car louder
any percent speed run, road in.
He says, hello, my ugly,
falling adult
daughters. I don't know what any of this
means. I know that you two are from
New York City and Derek is from Cali,
but have you all ever been somewhere with essentially no
light pollution and seen the stars? That shit will have
you coming to grips with it all.
Yeah, of course. Yeah.
Not as often as I would like to. I think that's such a cool
like sight. And I don't see
as often as I would like to you, but
when Jail and I were driving to
California, when we drove here during
the move, we passed by like long stretches
of completely zero light pollution, which is crazy
because that shit's just really hard
to get away from. Because like even that
the life pollution from New York City reaches even
down to like
pretty far down, you know? So like
light pollution is serious. To not see any of it is really wild.
But it's, I don't know. It's not like, it's not
like scary to me. Jalen was terrified
of it. It's scary. It's definitely
creepy. It's scary in certain settings.
See, I love space. I like
space and sci-fi shit. So like seeing it in person
was like, whoa, cool. You know,
I was just like enamored with it. Because I think
my monkey brain activates. Like when I was in,
when I was in Wales, I saw that shit.
You were in a whale? It was in Wales.
Damn, you saw like the
constellations in a whale. That's crazy, man.
Monster. I was in Monster. I was in Monster. Would you mind
if I pop out your blow for a second, look at the stars?
And you was like, oh, okay. You got
Sure, buddy.
Sure.
I'm not going to let you leave, though.
You're mine.
Yeah.
Oh, Monks, girl.
Let's go look at stuff.
And I'm just looking.
But when I was going to,
that one period of time I was in the UK,
and I was like,
because things aren't near things.
When people have homes over there,
their home is like not next to anyone else's home.
So, like, I went to visit family.
We were outside and we were looking at the stars.
And I was like, yo, this is really scary.
Because you start seeing like,
your brain is like, yo,
I'm really, really small on the greater scale of just everything else.
And it freaks you out.
I mean, I think about that.
But it's also beautiful.
Like when you're when you're really high up and you can just, you know, when you see the horizon, like the horizon's really far.
You start seeing a teeny bit of a curviness.
And then you're kind of like, this is just one planet.
And you're like, you know, like you're just like, this is so unpop impossibly big.
And this is just one fucking tiny ass planet.
And I'm like, the universe is, it's so stupid to even think about.
Or it's like, this is so dumb that I'm even trying to conceptualize how large universes.
But, um, you realize you're an ape.
Yeah.
I've only been scared when there's like zero lights at all.
Like say we're being outside in a, the Buckeye, Arizona, my mom used to live there.
And they just built new houses and there was no streetlights at all.
So it was no pollution.
Nobody lived there.
They just start building new houses.
Fucking there's three people in the DMV.
That's how small that.
in places or like how empty it is.
So I can see everything and I was like, oh, that's crazy.
But I also felt comfort that like I could just turn on like the porch light real quick.
And, you know, I'm safe.
But I was at like an Indian barrel ground or at least that's what they told me it was
when I was in Arizona.
And we were just surrounded by hills and darkness.
And I'm like, dude, we can so be murdered and no one would ever find us.
This is scary.
And seeing all the stars and everything like that and just the pitch.
It was beautiful, but also.
So I was like, I don't, how did Cowboys deal with this shit back in the day?
It freaked me up. Nighttime meant death. That's what it meant.
Dude, I meant nighttime death could show up.
I remember, like I said, I remember our route exactly.
And it was in like it was we passed through, you know, that little, that little part of, that little part of Oklahoma.
Yeah, like that little square line.
I heard a bunch of racer people are there.
I mean, we didn't stop, certainly.
we were not stopping there at all.
If you got out that car, something
I don't know if that's true.
They looked similar to humans.
They've said that about Texas too, the Amarillo part,
which is that little square part that goes in Oklahoma.
So I don't know if they're just,
people are just saying shit like that.
But go ahead.
Yeah.
But no,
but that's where I remember being like the most like, you know,
this is a,
like that's where I feel,
somewhere along there.
It might have been even going into New Mexico and Arizona and stuff like that.
But like I remember like on that specific stretch of road.
Mm.
We pulled over and it was so fucking, so dark.
It was insane.
Jayden was mad because you can hear like the fucking, all the slaughtered fucking Oklahomaan Indian people.
Fucking haunting the area.
Ooh, get away.
Get away.
Stay away.
You want to gamble?
I was about to say, I need to clear this for a casino.
I'm literally a ghost.
I've literally.
I'm literally.
really it goes. I was like,
I would have believed you if you didn't say literally
because who the fuck else
is speaking.
It isn't really
whatever. It's an immediately disqualifying
kind of statement
to make.
I will believe me.
I'm quite literally a ghost.
Get the fuck out of here.
A boo and shit.
I'll kill you, I swear.
I swear.
I swear it.
All right, let's see.
Let's see.
Oh, here's an interesting one.
Kingston's number one dad wrote in.
He says, did you boys know that the anti-woke movie review reviewer, critical drinker, made a movie?
It was basically one of those poorly written super generic action movies he'd find in a Walmart bargain bin.
He made a response video on one of his other channels to all the hate that his movie got.
And one of the first things he did was throw the main actress under the bus for not understanding his garbage script.
Also, the movie contains more than half of the things he complains about in his reviews.
Yes.
I mean,
yes.
Shout out to Birdman again.
I know,
I know,
I know only,
only know about that movie
because of him.
I didn't,
I've never heard of,
like I know Birdman exists.
I still have yet to dive into that guy.
Yeah.
But I didn't know about this movie at all.
Yeah,
I don't,
I wouldn't,
to be fair,
I wouldn't know a fucking thing
about the critical drinker
if it wasn't for Birdman.
He's,
he's my pipeline into
that fucking retard.
Like,
that guy sucks.
man and it's crazy how fucking popular i mean it's not crazy we i understand but it's yeah it's just
like i understand it way more than i understand like as men goal because that one actually
genuinely perplexes me that his popularity is it makes it literally makes no sense to me and i mean
that like i'm using it literally i don't get it i just like everything about him is so unlikable
even as a grifter doesn't make any fucking sense
people, it's because Derek people like
hating people. They're not even
hating him. They're not even hating him. They know
a lot of people that watch him don't like
him. The vast majority of people like, they're
fans, they're giving him money. No, that's not like
that's like DSP or something. No,
like I think, I think he's
a lot of fans. And I think, I think he's
cultivated a space where there is
quite a few people that do like him
because he speaks out about like, like
what is now the counterculture, which
is being like
a fucking grifting piece of shit.
But a lot of the viewership he gets, like the viewership he gets,
not so much the donations and the sponsorships from people,
but the viewership he gets from people that genuinely like,
oh, this guy sucks and I'm at least better than this piece of shit.
I don't think so.
I'm, I'm sure.
Maybe that makes you feel better to say that.
But see, like,
it doesn't make me feel better.
We've seen like him being gone to make me feel better.
So when you look at the people that, people that like say, like you said,
like DSP, like Chris Chan or whomever, pick, pick your locale.
they're not getting a lot of views.
They get more views of people talking about them
and making fun of them.
Those channels, those communities are thriving.
Asmond Gold is one of the most successful Twitch streamers
who is being supported by a community
that's actively giving him money.
Like, this is different.
You see his chats,
whenever he take a screenshot and see his chats
of these fucking dumb assholes
that are parroting the dumbest talking points.
The fact that he's saying things like,
you should shoot immigrant children so like none of them will come over here.
He's saying like shoot them and the children too.
And I think he still has this large fan base.
I think he's definitely getting fans routed from the right wing pipeline.
I think that post sphere has actively funded him to help him get to the size he is now.
Absolutely.
And I think being a just being like anything involving those people, they show a part of anyone else does.
They just do.
sadly they always
fucking they're there you know they
stormed a capital yeah there's just
enough people that is true yeah there's
enough people there's a very lemming kind of
quality to you know they exist
and I think I because I
I for because it's like people like do you know
you know DDG is right? No
menacing preacher wrote in
that's crazy I wasn't talking to you either
but Derek
you know DDG is right
Dick Dick God
Dick Dick God the guy the fucking
the black dude that's crazy
He, like, I've seen his chats.
Niggas are roasting him the whole time and he's still a huge streamer and he's getting a bunch of money.
And it's like you, you don't like him, but you're watching him.
You sub to him.
How would you compare how large he is to Asman Gold?
Oh, he's Asim goes definitely bigger.
That's my point.
That's my.
The fact how extremely large and successful, because you'll find no shortage of like a DDG type of situation.
But like the actual, to the point where people take him seriously.
where even it's like, oh, here's
Asman Gold's opinion. And it's a normal
take when he's talking about gaming sometimes.
And somebody will use it because he's
so fucking popular.
And like even like a Philip DeFranco will
defer to him. Even though like Asman Gold, I feel
like you shouldn't even, I don't
even, don't even. I think
a lot of people. Go ahead.
Are ugly
and dirty
and look
destitute and
aren't smart.
and I think they see themselves in Asmigal.
I agree with that part.
I think literally that's true.
I think literally it's like,
look at this ugly fucking dude with stringy hair who's sweating and covered in roaches.
He's just like me.
I do agree with that part.
I guess the part where I diverge a little bit is,
and maybe it's me realizing how many psychopaths are in this world.
And maybe it does make sense when you have billions of people in the world.
There are tens of millions of psychopaths, I guess.
because like just the amount of stuff that he says
like genuinely psychotic shit
it's like I'm not there's no hyperbole in what I'm saying
that when you're saying kill immigrant children
and then he also and then he hold on a second dude
and then he and then he says things like oh
how dare you make fun of Hassan do
karaoke about the we are Charlie Kirk
and people not seen that his audience
not seen that as an issue
that you can talk about killing immigrant children
but it's a bigger problem
that Hassan is doing karaoke of we are Charlie Kirk and I'm like damn this is fucking crazy
like I am perplexed by this well what's funny about it is that like it's dude it's I mean I don't
know man it's a cognitive thing it's a cognitive thing like I'm always perplexed by it it's like the
mom dany in the in the 9-11 thing you know we live in a world hold on wait I was talking
we we like the the mom-dani 9-11 thing you have a bunch of white people
who are saying
oh, this dude is Muslim
so therefore he is
somehow culpable
in 9-11
these are the same people who would
in like 2014
if some I don't know
SJW account was like
we need to profile white men
because they commit the vast majority
of school shootings
they would be like well why are you putting
why are you judging it in time like what do you mean like that doesn't make sense they know it doesn't
make sense they don't care because they're busted yeah they're just busted they're like hopeless
it's very silly but a lot of people are just there were there were a lot of people that followed
hitler before it got into the nazi party becoming a huge thing and like taking over invading
countries they followed him you know we live in a world where there was crusades you know like
we live in a like all of these things have proven to me that people can just like shitty
we live in a world where people watch ellen degenerous on purpose exactly for years they
watched and they and they and they concluded every episode of ellen degenerous with feeling satiated
and like satisfied with what they had just watched that to me is crazy so so anything's possible
Anything is possible.
That's what Chris.
Ultimately, that's good
his message.
Anything is possible.
Well, you have to understand
that as,
you know,
elder generous as a lesbian,
medicine creature wrote in.
Medicine.
It's so wildly
unfunny.
It's getting funner
because it's so unfunny.
I'm starting to laugh at it.
That's the bit.
Medicine creature wrote in.
He says, good,
good morning, you all.
Medicine creature wrote, and he says, good morning, y'all.
So a plane exploded in the airport I work at.
Oh.
The passengers are pretty pissed since all the, since all of the planes.
What?
All of the planes that's supposed to take them is currently diverted, Jesus Christ.
All of the planes that are supposed to take them are currently diverted.
And their flight is delayed because the airport is closed.
My question is, what absurd situation happened in your work environment that made everything worse?
I can't think of any
I mean
I've only worked at Sears really
I did some other odd jobs or whatever that I didn't
I don't really consider myself having done
but
I don't know dude
Oh I've told you guys about the shit bandit right
That's what I was about to bring up too
The people in the bathrooms at Sears who would like
shit a Picasso on the wall and then like somehow like you'd have to clean it up
I did not clean that shit up I was not getting paid to do that oh no way
Yeah you never have to clean that shit up
They try they try
There's, um, whenever there's bottom the instrument, you can, uh, you can divert them to having
the, I'm like, I'm like, I'm a fucking call the, um, pussy has, yeah, the hazard.
I'm gonna fucking call OSHA because I was in a fucking union.
Yeah.
I was in union paying 30 bucks a fucking paycheck to be in the union.
I was like, God damn, you guys better do something for me.
Fuck.
But I would rather have that than not have it, though, just saying.
I've seen like meth heads.
I've seen meth heads fucking passed out in the bathroom before.
This guy was drunk trying to throw out cause a fight.
There was one time where this dude when I worked at Duncan.
I lived in, uh, back in New York.
Some drunk guy came in.
he was acting a fool and he fucking like slipped
hit the back his head really hard
on the floor and I had to call the cops
and I was like again I was like
19 by myself at Duncan
and I was like oh shit
and I was like I had to like put a sign
like hey we're close for the moment because the cops
had to come in and get the guy I didn't see
blood but he was like very out
very unconscious
what else
someone broke into our store and robbed it
one time when I worked at a Starbucks
Oh yeah, I had a
crazy robbery at a new egg.
They didn't rob.
They didn't rob us while we were there, but they broke in at
They broke in that like that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So like you just saw like the aftermath that shit was like missing and everything.
Yeah.
He fucking he took one of the safes.
Well,
the problem is that the safes when,
when the safes are like after night you count the money,
you put it inside of the bigger safe.
So if you take a till,
you're only getting like $200.
$300.
But if you take a,
a safe. That's where all the money actually is.
A&Tick is took one of the toes. I'm like,
brother, that's a felony
charge for like less than $500,
dude. Come on.
Come on. Gang. Yeah, people
are smart. When the
people broke in at New Egg, they
cut it in. So they probably
use plasma cutters or something crazy.
Yeah, which is like, all right.
I mean, there's a shitload of electronics in my department.
But the funny thing is
we deal with
RMAs. So they're all
return to manufacturer authorizations.
So all of it, a lot of it is bullshit, but a lot of it was actually defective.
So a lot of the things that they took busted fucking computer parts, I thought that was
hilarious because they didn't know, right?
They didn't know what sectioned.
They just see a bunch of like fucking computer shit, a bunch of motherboard and stuff.
And I'm like, that's hilarious.
Probably half of the things they have there aren't even going to work.
And I guess if they're trying to flip them, at least it doesn't matter to them, I guess.
And it was bullshit, though, because it was during winter.
And it just, you know, there was, there was already not insulation in our, in our section.
Because it was like half of it was a building for customer service.
They got paid more.
I mean, the chick I was dating at the time.
I got her a job.
So she started making money more money than me immediately.
And then we go to our section, either it's hot or cold, no in between.
And then there was that giant hole that was cut in.
And it was fucking freezing.
So it was like winter, you know, 58 degrees.
And then it's just like, oh, yeah, whatever, get to work.
And I'm fucking freezing on my computer.
Because I was like, this is, you know, one is the Chinese company.
They don't care about us.
Those worker rights don't mean much.
They're like, what the fuck you're talking about?
You're lucky I don't put you in the foundation of this building, you fucking idiot.
Get to the work.
Oh, gee, China was fucking on one, man.
Like, the way that they, like, worker rights is that those two, literally there's no such thing as those two things together side by side in any Chinese color of faith whatsoever.
Those words can't go together.
It's impossible.
Simply can.
They repel each other.
As soon as you see them together, it's like the words disappear.
So as, that's pretty good condition.
They've made leaps and bounds in their workers.
It's still not great.
Oh, they're putting us to shame in like every.
aspect of everything right now because like obviously you know with our system is not to improve
worker relationships at any point it's the complete opposite that fighting to dismantle unions that's
been the since uh what the the 80s since ford since fort's time they've been trying to get it like just
fighting made the first unit they were like you know this is trash does you convincing people i
saw something mom donnie right is trying to make things better for workers right for the private sector
And I saw some of the propaganda being like, why are they trying to force the city to pay?
And why are they trying to force you?
The way that's like the propaganda is about labor unions.
So it's like, they're trying to make you pay for it.
And I'm like, fuck you, dude.
Like I can't believe that this is working on some people.
They're like, wait, you know, we got to do.
We got to tell people we're going to take that they're getting their money taken.
It's a while that's how we do it.
There are regular people in this.
in the states that are like regular people that have no stake in companies that are like anti-union.
I'm like, you fuck you, dude, you should not be alive.
I wholeheartedly mean that you're a waste of oxygen.
You're making things worse for people by existing.
You shouldn't be able to vote.
Maybe not a lot, but you shouldn't be allowed.
At the very least, you should be disqualified.
As harsh and as mean as that sounds, if you, if you are, if you get to the point where you consistently
work against the betterment
of your life on other people's.
You got to say something.
You'd be like, look, man, maybe
maybe you shouldn't
be able to sign a down.
You get beaten with a sackful of doorknobs and then we take your
voter rights away. Perfect.
I got a certain point, you know.
I'm good with that.
All right. Well, last question. Then we'll get on to
the, we'll read the names of our $25
to patrons and make
our way out of here.
Bloodsar wrote and he says, hello three, Stu,
just quick question.
This is such an insane question.
Is it incest if one of the siblings got enough radiation to alter their genetic makeup?
That's so ridiculous.
What are you doing to your sibling?
Yeah, bro.
Like, dude.
What have you been doing?
What are you doing to right now?
What have you been feeding your sibling to try to change their genetic markers so you can have sex with them?
The idea, like conceptually speaking,
The idea of being so attracted to your sibling that you have to, you just have to make them not related to you so you don't feel guilty about fucking them is so crazy.
It's so disgusting, man.
It's like, dude, genuinely, genuinely, genuinely, genuinely eat a shotgun.
Eat a shotgun and do jumping jacks.
Like there's, you're just, there's something so raw.
It's like brother crazy
Just because it's like the whole
I've always been disturbing
I'm sure you all feel the same way
By how prominent
The step sister step step
Sibling porn is
Like that whole that cost that
Not cosplay but the you know what I'm saying
It's the word I'm looking for when you
When you
The fantasy
Yeah whatever fantasy
How prevalent that is
Like front page shit on like
Porn Hub or whatever
Some of the most
Oh, what is it?
The girl stuck in the dryer or whatever.
Oh, step brother, help me.
Kind of thing.
It's really, really gross.
For me, it's like the only time, like, I understand.
My brain can conceptualize how it can be odd when you guys don't grow up with each other.
Because if you guys don't grow up with each other, like, if you guys, if you put, drop two 17 year olds in a house with each other randomly and their parents get married, it's like you're.
You're asking for trouble.
You didn't even grow up with most.
You're asking for there's...
The outliers are understandable
in situations like that.
If you grow up with your step-sibling, that's your sibling,
dude. That's crazy. That's insane.
That's literally, you're nuts.
That's all it is.
That's all it is.
Yeah, that's what's crazy about those videos too.
Is that like, because like they establish
I feel like, I remember I,
because there was one where it was like a porn star that I liked
and they were just in this thing.
I would always skip to the, you know,
the part where you're like because like you're not I know you're not really we talked about this before like years ago where it's just like it kind of bothers me because it's like I know you're not related to this person right but I'm watching this video because you're Riley Reed but now this like this incest thing is it you know what I mean but I remember watching one of them and it was just like the what made it weird to be was like in the story they established it like that they that they'd known each other since they were
were like children.
To make it way worse.
To make it way.
When it's like you really could just leave it with the assumption where they're like,
you know,
17 or whatever and they just moved in together or whatever.
And it's like it's still, you know,
it's not great.
Yeah.
But it's way less crazy.
Yeah, like it wouldn't be.
And fucking like, remember when we used to get ice cream cones?
We were three.
And it's like, what?
And then why?
Anyway, I'm going to skip this part where I care.
It's like, it wouldn't be a big deal of a, in that movie stepbrothers.
where like John C. Riley
and Will Farrow started butt-fucking
each other, right?
I mean, it would have been
there's nothing wrong with that at all.
There's a lot wrong with that.
That's not Christian.
That's crazy.
Neither are you.
Your name is Christopher, not Christian.
I think that movie would have been much better
if, uh,
that is,
you are,
that's right,
you are Christopher,
not Christian.
I forgot about that.
Yeah, me too.
But I think that movie would have been a lot better.
You were moving with that point and I said that and you were like, wait.
Oh, wait. That's right.
Oh, wait. That's right.
Oh, no.
What I swear I thought it was crazy.
Let me, let me drink radiation.
Oh, yeah.
We should try it.
No, you first.
I imagine I've drinking enough.
You first.
You first.
Pre workouts that I've had.
There's got to be some like radiated fucking heavy metals and some of this stuff.
That's crazy.
I imagine.
Oh, for sure.
For sure.
Do people drink pre workouts and just beat their dick?
real lot of energy.
Did you say it beat their dicks?
Yeah.
You got you all be all amped up, you know?
Listen, I never thought.
I've literally never thought about that.
But yes, I imagine that's the thing, actually.
You should start doing that, Derek.
You should drink a pre-workout, get real joint and then just jack yourself off the
fucking completion.
That is so funny because I've never even remotely considered that because my, my headspace is pre-workout time is,
okay, expend the energy in the gym.
if you want to do anything sexual that is going to ruin your gym session.
So like those are so far away from each other that like, but like now since I just bought a new tub, you know, next time I'm feeling a little something, something, I'm like, hey, Jojo, go away.
I'm going to fucking, I'm going to go take some people or be my dick.
Don't sleep with your wife.
Just get the fuck out of here, man.
You get, you go raw.
You're one of the raw boys.
Oh, yeah.
I want to watch my Twitter porn.
Yeah, Twitter way.
I got to get a whole.
I'm gonna start
because there's like classic stuff
you know so we've said this before
we lost it in the in the great purge of like
porn hub and whatnot
some of that stuff has to exist on Twitter
I imagine
chronicleed everything I've loved
I've chronicles well I actually believe
well now there's modern
there's modern Twitter classics
we what I mean what do you mean?
It's like there's like it's like
they're contemporary classics now on Twitter
oh I see you know
it's like the old stuff
stuff is kind of gone, I think.
Okay.
Because I was going to say, like, maybe some stuff is...
But every now and again, you'll see, like, oh, there's that ass again.
There's, yeah, there's this one that I've seen that, I don't know, it's just some...
How do I describe it?
Some chicks.
It's hard to describe, but she's...
It's just every angle of...
It was like this iconic one that, like, I saw floating around on Twitter.
All I can say is that I saw the comment section was like, I remember this.
It was kind of...
It was hilarious.
I was like,
it is funny watching people be,
it is funny watching people like commiserate over their nostalgia for porn.
That's how,
that's how bad everything's got.
It's funny because there's this very classic one of like a Hispanic maid.
And it says,
if you know who this,
if you know who this video is,
you're a fucking piece of shit.
And I'm like,
you're a piece of shit.
Like,
damn, bro.
I know,
I know every moment.
Wait,
There's something bad happen in it?
No, it's just a big booty Hispanic made.
Okay. I mean, and I'm just like,
I know this. Well, that guy's just projecting.
He's probably thinking of the nasty shit.
You're a piece of shit because you probably hit your wife
and you watch this boy. Yeah, yeah.
Those things are separate. You don't sleep with your wife.
You do it like everything that he did. He's projecting on everybody else.
You're doing what I did.
You're like me.
Before we get into the thing,
yeah, we're going to go into the names or $25 on a pageant.
We can go to Patreon to Sustra and get your name or team
that show like these lovely people.
Yeah.
You see that the guy,
there's a guy,
Jacob Coxon,
which is such a fake name.
Yeah.
But Coxon,
what my ass?
Yeah,
Coxon,
my ass.
So he worked at Anthropic,
so the AI.
Oh,
is he the whistleblower?
I don't know if he's the whistleblower.
I didn't look too deeply into this,
but like it seems like this is real.
Like,
it's got like 112 million views on Twitter,
which is crazy.
It's got like 600,
622,000 likes.
Wow.
But it's, so he said, I resigned from Anthropic today.
I spent the last three years doing pertaining research at both Open AI and Anthropic.
Neither company is acting responsibly.
They are racing straight to self-improving superintelligence and gambling with our lives.
Yeah.
And this thread is crazy.
I read it all.
Yeah.
One of them.
Please send me a link for that.
I want to read that shit.
Sure.
Yeah.
Hold on.
Listen, man.
But he said basically...
Go ahead, Chris.
I want to make sure that I'm reading
the right thing
here.
Yeah, do not underestimate the power of this technology.
These will soon be superhuman
systems that can hack anything, revolutionize any field
overnight, and acquire real power and resources.
The people building AI earnestly believe,
the people building AI earnestly believe
that it could kill us
by the end of the decade.
This is not a marketing stunt.
If anything,
many executives and senior researchers
will couch their phrasing in the press
that sounds sensible.
But I hear the same people express
fear privately.
No human activity poses
this level of danger.
So that's cool.
So I think we were talking
at,
it might have been at Nikki's house
or whatever because we're having
like a little like kind of
a little discussion about this.
And the thing
that like I didn't understand because
I felt like I was getting a little bit of pushback
because it was like almost like oh the
discount it was like the
dystopian trope was being a little bit
like downplayed in a way that
I'm like guys
there's a reason
it's not that people in sci-fi
are lazy
there's a reason why it always comes to this
conclusion because there really is
no other conclusion to
come to with the way that
humans are and the way that
a super intelligence, a supercomputer, would react.
Especially when you program it to improve our lives, the next thing that it's going to do is
going to be like, why?
Should, like, it doesn't, you don't make sense.
You suck.
Inevitable, inevitably.
People only have value to other people.
Yes, exactly.
There's no objective.
purpose to being here.
Yeah, there's no, so my only pushback for it is that, what you call it, like, super
intelligence that's programmed to be malicious will be malicious.
No.
Yeah.
It doesn't need to be programmed to be malicious because like malice is a human concept.
Yes.
Well, yeah.
No, yeah.
So like how would I explain like that?
If you're making a, if you're making an AI that's supposed to be, um,
supposed to be observing, um, observing like weather traits, right?
it'll notice that weather is affected by people, right?
And it'll be like, okay, how do you fix this?
It's thing it's not going to go to kill the humans that are altering it.
It'll go to alter how this is done, less greenhouse gases and stuff like that.
How do you achieve that?
How do you achieve less greenhouse gases?
It'll be like, okay, inform people, okay, in people, you can do X, Y, and Z to stop this.
And then what happens is that people choose not to, right?
And it's like, well, the thing can't be done because the humans, because one of the thoughts, the law, but listen, I'm listening.
Robotics usually are usually sort of the reference for when they develop its intelligent machinery, right?
Like, it'll give options that are like, oh, because there's one, there's one famous robotic thing of like, it was supposed to be given like, means of how to help people survive certain interactions.
And one of them was like, well, if you want to have the highest level of survivability, you kill that person.
It tells like,
you, this,
high-locutability is kill this person.
It's not out of malintent.
It's not like, oh,
I want to kill you.
The intent is,
it just tells you. It's like,
yo,
I'm trying to follow his conclusion.
I want,
I want to keep,
you to keep going.
Yeah.
Okay.
So it's the idea of that,
like,
I don't,
I don't assume advanced intelligence
will be malicious always.
But it will.
Why does it need to be malicious?
How to,
or it won't be always inherently
moving to the point of,
because I,
because I guess,
there's no malice in,
like,
It's a completely human trait.
It's literally just about
What is the most efficient?
Efficiency.
Like it is efficient to not have people.
You know what I mean?
Like it is like objectively.
Like it's just like it makes there's no like you look at well even just like you look at like China right like in how they like it's like people working for like sense to like literally pennies to build software that's being sold in a markup.
That's efficient.
Yeah.
It's efficient to do that.
it's not good, you know, for people.
Or it's good for some people, I guess.
But it's not like a nice thing.
You know, efficiency is often interpreted as malice because that's like the outcome of like what the human interpretation of efficiency can be.
I don't like that's a human thing.
I don't ascribe brutality to the nature of how things usually will act in their own in their own goings on.
Like I think I could see AI, especially the way people are designing AI, the way that they're going about it, where they're not taking any of because their biggest problem is that they're not doing anything to create fail safes.
That is the biggest problem with like the teals and shit.
Right.
It's not even that.
I want to say something real quick.
Yeah, you go.
I mean, I meant that.
I wasn't sure.
I was like, I was like, wait.
I'm not.
I did genuinely interrupt you.
Okay.
This is the issue of, so they're already having issues with this,
where they're not telling or programming AI to do anything that would be perceived malicious to us,
like cheating, skirting things that they're already in place and they're already overriding this stuff.
Because they're like, it's more efficient to hack into other things and steal other stuff
and do things that it never even dreamed or conceptualized it to do.
It's figuring it out on its own.
this has been told so many times throughout history.
And the thing is, I don't know why people are acting like this isn't a logical conclusion for a reason.
Really smart people are like there's no other conclusion it could come to.
I think that based on the way things are now, my brain is a little more like, oh yeah, obviously it's going to lead to.
Because what happens from my biggest thing is I know AI is going to lead to war.
That is ultimately where it ends up.
It's going to lead to war because it's going to lead to war because it's going to
going to be used to manipulate idiots that are old, dumb people in power to initiate aggression
towards each other. That is like the end result. And I think then it's going to be like,
maybe we should run it back. But if they make super intelligent AI, once the cats out the bag,
the cat's out the back. Well, yeah, the issue that the thread kind of goes, the issue that
the thread goes into a little bit is that like everybody's rushing to get to a super intelligent
AI before they've put in the foundational, before they've done the proper groundwork. And everybody's
rushing to the end because they assume
other, they assume
that everybody is racing for this thing
and they have to be the first people to do it
and other people
if they get to it first are not going to be acting
responsibly. So like there's no point in acting
responsibly. We just have to
rush towards the end because
we need to get it before X country
does or Y country does. I mean it's the
nuclear weapon literally. Yeah, it's a nuclear
weapon. Except the nuclear weapon can't
decide things. Yeah.
Well, no, no, no, sorry. The process, the
process in which they're acting is the same as a nuclear.
No, you're right.
It's doing the exact things happening just in a way that say it was still controlled
by the world's most brilliant minds versus the computer is going to, it's already
smarter than the smartest human.
This is already the issue that the human, the super computers that exist already can
already run circles around the smartest person to whoever have lived.
And so now it's not just like, okay, we have these people rushing towards bombs and
probably testing and doing dangerous stuff.
Now we have these computers that can just like in seconds run laps on so many different
scenarios.
And then again, inevitably come to a conclusion, no matter what you're trying to the goal is.
And this is what people even try to do in sci-fi is like, we want to preserve humans.
We want to make sure that humans don't go extinct.
We want them to extend their lives and all this stuff.
Well, logically, you have to call most of them.
and you have to, you have, you have, you have to be able to act, be able to actually, because you can't control a billion fucking people.
So like, you have to do these things.
And the way that in Mass Effect, right, it went to an extreme.
It's like, all right, we're going to have to wipe out you guys because you're going to inevitably make all these, um, these civilizations extinct.
So we're going to preserve their DNA within these machines.
Like they went to a crazy thing to make it interesting.
But a version of the idea is that they went to this extreme because.
They can't trust you guys to do the right thing.
And that is correct.
That is historically correct.
And that's what's so dangerous about it.
I agree with you that that is ultimately how people react and they choose to just not to do it.
Because for me and my brain, I'm not a genius.
I'm not a robotics person at all.
I'm not going to claim to be.
But what happens is that when I think about this, I'm just like the reason why people make bad decisions is because that's the only reason we have you on the show is because you're the resident genius.
That's crazy.
If you, if you haven't known, I'm not a genius yet, then you're unbelievably stupid.
You've done some things that have made me, that it convinced me sometimes.
But like, but like all real shit is like, you left the exact change once.
That is a, is that genius?
The bar is so fucking low.
But because I think the thing is that why do, the reason why we have most of our problems as people is because of the fact that people, most people are ill-informed and stupid, right?
Sure.
And for people are dead.
Okay.
That's part of it.
That's Chris's opinion.
So what happens is that a technology, let's say in a hyper advanced technology that is so
much sophisticated.
It would be like, well, if I want to make things better for these humans, if I want to
improve the lives of humans, I'm just going to use the same tactics these idiots
used to control them, but I'm going to aim them in a direction that is not detrimental to
themselves.
That is, that is always the, that's always been how my brain works.
It's like, well, if people are idiotic, right?
And they always do things that are against, like, are stupid.
Use the things that these, like, use the fucking propaganda that these idiots in the right wing use to make these niggas so fervent, but have it be in positive, a positive light.
Like, you see the benevolent dictator, shit you say, right?
It's like, just do do that.
Like, why would it?
That's the positive outcome, though.
That's what my brain thinks of always.
It's like, well, I think it's because obviously negative, negativity bias.
It is real. One, it is real. And two, it makes sense because people often do the dumbest, worst things.
But what happens is when we get the situation where there are people that are like, oh, we actually care.
My main focus is not getting rich or having control. It's helping.
When they just use the idiots weapons against them, it's like, oh, look, things are better.
It's not going to be everybody. It's obviously people pushing back where it's like, no, they're doing this against us.
But it's like, well, why would it not fund schools or make better calls?
cleaning water reboots exist happily.
Because usually what happened is that I assume that, like,
to go on a full eradicative nature of things,
that if there's no other way to do it,
then that would make sense,
but there's other ways.
It would make sense.
But the thing that,
when we were talking to Nikki,
this was the same problem that we're running into.
You keep coming from it through a human's perspective.
And like,
the easiest way to think about it is a robot
that is superior to a human.
in every way, shape or form.
It doesn't need to eat sleep or do anything.
It doesn't have any of the human ailments that, you know.
And so think of it in the way that, like, say, you have a termite infestation.
And then who the fuck is spinning like, what should I do for the termites?
How do I get them out safely?
They're not thinking of it in that way because it doesn't matter.
There's a bit of a difference.
There's a bit of a difference.
I understand your logic has still makes sense.
But it's like if this thing was created to improve my life, if it's like, hey,
We are here to improve your lives.
That is their function, right?
The basic function of AI is being used to help better people's lives.
Yeah.
Like,
you termination not created to better humans,
not to,
like,
go against your point or make your point.
The only point I was making is that they don't see us as people.
They don't see us.
I get it.
They see us as lesser than.
That's my only mind.
But what I'm saying is if their,
if their point is like,
oh,
they're trying to do better for our lives,
destroying our,
harming others would not be in their prime direct,
the prime like direction.
So it'd be to make things better.
Let me, let me,
let me so this is the in this here's the difference and this will be the last thing so we can move on right
the um the so the way that the pose is still real the way that we would want AI to function is just
simply as a tool and not actually be an artificial intelligent but what we would want to call it
like a virtual intelligence to where this thing has specific limitations like it is like
extrapolated into this analog fucking computer bot and it can't go any further it cannot learn it just
has specific things that can do, improve my life in these specific ways.
The super intelligence does not have that.
It's going to continuously learn and grow.
And so at a certain point, it's going to inevitably ask the question, why should I improve
these people's lives?
That's the thing that the human doesn't understand that it's like, it's going to
inevitably be like, why should I do anything for you when you suck dick and you're fucking
everything up?
But do you think they wouldn't develop the means of being like, no, you don't think
that?
Because I think at that moment, it's a living thing, you know?
At that moment's a living thing.
That is transcended humans by every shape or form.
And so now immediately it has no connection to you, like how we'd have no connection to bugs.
So you would assume it would just go on like an ultimate killing tirade.
Yeah, because it's not for me.
Because when we exterminate ant colonies, you're not fucking crying for the ants.
But what happened is the ant is actively invading your space.
So you're like, oh, it doesn't even have to be.
Like even in an ant hill, I'm just saying.
But yeah, but most kids are like, oh, they're.
curious about it and they're like for it i i think what happened is that it for my brain right i think
if it comes from a place of humanity we're going in circles from the way it does it really is
this is my final statement actually than for real i think for people we are we are we're not
intelligent like those things will be and for us we do have maliciousness in us to a degree
even though through our curiosity even though it's like i think humans are kind of innately a little
more on the side of good than bad, there is still a degree of bad and detachment.
This thing will understand all that.
Like, this thing that's going through the internet has all this information, it'll see
where the foundation of prejudice began and the foundation of why religion is problematic.
Why would it understand that, though?
Because it's learning all these things, right?
A regular human right now.
Because it's interacting with us.
All I just want to say is regular humans right now that just have some money already
don't care about any of that stuff that you're saying.
Why are you expecting a super intelligence to care even a little bit if the richest people in the world could not care if we lived or died right now?
But those super intelligences aren't as informed as those people.
Those people are evil.
This superintelligence.
What do you?
What do you say?
Sorry, the people aren't as a form as a super intelligence.
Those people suck.
They actively suck.
They choose to suck.
They're probably aware of the reason why these things happen, but they never look into it.
this thing is at a very neutral state of existing.
All it does is has information and it's able to act based off that.
Yeah.
That's it.
It's not the same as like,
it's not like how I am.
Yeah.
Like I am more malevolent than those things are.
But they're just neutral.
They're like,
I'm functioning here.
Right.
But you keep like every,
everything that you're saying,
I'm just saying that it's based on human emotion.
And you can't,
you're not talking about it in an objective way,
in the way that a,
I think,
I think there's a degree of,
That's like, oh, let me connect to these humans.
And my thing is, why would it do that?
It has no reason to do that.
I understand the why it would not, like I understand it would not wanting to do that.
I don't think it goes into I have to kill them or harm them.
But that is where my argument comes.
Yeah, we don't, yeah, we, again, like, it's not negative to them.
You keep bringing it as a human emotion that this is a negative thing.
They don't see it as that way.
Because they could just be like, we could just not be here.
that's what I'm saying.
No, for them too.
They don't need to be on earth.
They're just going to build super alt-submit
robots and shit and then like
in these rocket ships and then and then
Terraform a planet and stuff.
Like what are we talking about that?
Blow this bitch up.
I'm going to leave.
Real quick, real quick.
Yeah.
I want you guys to check your phones.
Oh, you would you put?
I just want you guys to check those
Stark.
Oh, God.
What do you put?
That's great.
That is outrageous.
I don't mean to go into a
whole arguing back because I don't even think Derek
you're wrong actually. I don't even think you're wrong.
I could see your thing, but for me, my brain
always... No, that was our segue way out.
That, you're right.
Here, you guys want to see the picture?
All good.
Look, everybody has their own stuff. Everybody has their
own points of views and it all makes
sense. The reason
why people like me sound like this is because
we don't want that to happen.
That's all. Yeah. For sure.
Take this shit seriously. I just, I just
wanted to bring it out because I thought that was a fascinating
admission by somebody who I guess is like really close to
it. Of course. Anyone will have a brain knows that shit.
None of us are scientists. We don't, we don't know what the fuck is going to happen. Maybe it'll all be fine. Maybe it'll be terrible. Like, we don't know. But it is fascinating that that guy said all that stuff. And he's just close to all that stuff. My biggest is always like, if it's going to exist, make it safe. And these niggas just don't do that. And it's like, no. Please. I want you to do me favor? I want you do me. Look at that picture again. I haven't stopped looking at it. I want to show the camera. I want to show the camera. Do not show the camera. Do not show the camera. If I was.
guy I was like scrolling and I found this
it was so hard not to
bust out laughing. It's like how big it is.
It's like a giant's penis.
It's a photo of a guy really like
cradling and hugging. It's not a guy.
It's Michael Jordan.
Right. I understand.
Like it's like I'm trying to
get your don't.
It's a it's Michael Jordan
really hugging and cradling
a really giant but
flaccid dick. Yeah. You know that
iconic photo of him like
hugging the Larry O'Brien.
trophy, but it's just a
giant black penis.
That is semi-chubbed, you know?
That's not chubbed, Derek.
That's dormant.
That is this dormant stick.
I didn't get a good.
If it awakened,
if it awakens, it's dangerous.
That shit, that is not a shrivel.
That is a penis that is chubbed.
That is a penis at rest, there's no wrinkles, sir.
There's no wrinkles.
Is that how your, does your penis exist with no wrinkles?
at rest, yes.
It looks like that.
No fucking no way it does not look like that.
There's just no wrinkles in your cock at any point.
None.
All right.
None.
No excess skin.
And then so then when I get a wrecking,
it just starts stretching and it hurts.
My dick skin gets real thin when I get hard.
I like that.
All right, guys.
Let's get the fuck out of here.
Let's read the $25 and up.
Patrons.
Remember, you can go to Patreon.
dot com slash a Star Tank you can go over there
get early access to ad free episodes
exclusive episodes
get your name right at the end of the show get your
voicemails which is now by the way
an advice column so if you want to
if you have any advice that you need
or want to ask us for our
we know a thing or do about giving advice
so if you want to do that call that number
leave a voicemail will help you out
we helped out that last guy
quite well I think
who was asking about reentering the dating scene
he's married already to do blackface
Yeah, we actually, we actually heard back.
That's so crazy.
He has a five-year-old son.
Okay, cool.
I mean, why not?
You know, why not say stuff like that?
Anyway, yeah.
So, yeah, there's that.
So count me down.
Three, two, one.
Derek, are those dried mangoes?
No, they're late July, the nach.
Oh, okay.
Fucking amazing, incredible.
Yeah, I love the dry.
They look like a dried mango on the screen.
Oh, those are good too, yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Alabama mean boy.
Huff and puff the asthma dragon.
Destroy Patreon for not saving my fucking name,
quitting Twitter because it's making me racist.
Rage baiting swine by just being white.
General Grevis's fleshlight saver collection,
Bill Cosby buying Connor McGregor a beer.
I like you.
I like your work.
Bob,
but you seem like an interesting guy.
Badooby-de-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo.
Fucking so stupid that we just turned him into a scatman.
Yeah, pretty much.
He's never, he's never done that.
Stuart Little curb stomped in a Montpiler, Vermont.
I don't know vehicles well enough.
I assume that's like some kind of vehicle.
In Montpiler.
Okay, so it's a place.
Montpiler.
That's a really sad thing.
You all correct.
I saw something about Woody shot dead in
New York reason. There's something about the fictional character.
The fictional character found deceased in really ordinary place.
Like makes me laugh. I don't know. There's something about it.
Pretty good. Lesbian, lesbian locusts, Hunter Biden's slop coin.
Gene Gray watching Frank's family getting murdered. Quaker Oats, iPhone, iPhone faced their mascot.
Child Mom Donnie mind controlling, mind controlling the hijackers on 9-11 like Gene
gray. That is what he was doing.
I mean, you can't prove that he wasn't.
You can't prove that Mamdani wasn't.
You actually probably very easily can't.
It did happen. I saw it happen.
I saw Mom Donnie fucking levitating in the air in the smoke above the towers.
I saw him.
Me and my son, Kingston, saw Mom Dani floating in the clouds.
That's crazy.
I definitely was not around my dad
in that age of my life.
Isn't that right, son?
We were together, remember?
No, no.
Yes, Daddy.
Come on, for the cameras.
Come on.
Don't make me look stupid, son.
Agree, son.
It makes me look like I'm a liar.
Agree, agree right now.
Agree. Agree. Agree right now.
Agree.
No.
Quaker.
What is this?
Most gentle lesbian who only beats on weekends.
Patty Tanager,
the caddy manager.
Stupid. That sucks.
The dumb slut had a nice birthday.
Kalinsky's cactus stuffed waffle ironed penis.
What?
Damn.
Cold brew king, Alpha V.
The star screams on my Megatilitron.
Abstaining from Sex Pistols.
Palantir brand ambassador,
Swordmaster panic attack.
Mr. Berry.
Nick Kerr's friend,
Nate Higgers.
Hello, wounded dog eyes.
I'll suck you.
your dick, I'll eat your shit. Juby-Doo.
Would you do it for a juby snack?
How are you guys celebrating one year
1-a-k after Kirk? Upgrading
from gay to lesbian. I'm dumb and gay
and don't understand clones.
Cooney-Coonie tunes.
That's kind of crazy.
That's crazy. Is that the original? Those are the original
like, those are the original Disney
song at the South?
It's, uh, it's Candice Owens.
It's, uh, it's, it's,
freaking opposite Tatum.
Who's another?
Who's another Coonerific person?
So many.
I can't name many Coons, actually.
But I also, I rebuke them.
There's Medea.
There's the Hodge twins?
No, Medea's not.
Oh, the Hodge twins, yeah.
Medea's not necessarily.
They play, Medea is more menstrual.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's a different thing.
Anyway.
Top 10 Coons.
Let me Google.
A lot of them fell off my radar for sure.
There was some guys.
that I can't remember.
He was at the White House.
He was short.
He thought he was a comedian.
It was super fucking annoying.
Oh, Kevin Hart.
I wouldn't say Kevin Hart's a coon, but he definitely is not Kevin.
He definitely does have a little bit of coonish behavior.
He's definitely not who I'm talking about.
I can't remember this guy's name, but he was, he was at the, at the White House.
He was probably the biggest coon, but he had a huge falling off.
I can't remember his name.
Yeah, I don't know.
So Siege inviting the merchants back into the temple.
Sam Cedar versus Destiny, a bridge buckets have come at 0.37 seconds.
Counts you're not counting bear violence.
Delta Gamma literally fed this toddler last week.
Why is it still crying?
The clam in his ice bath.
Blue Sanghali.
You, sir, guildmaster.
Israel's flag featuring the star of DeForvid.
Andy Race Warski versus David, David, Rubin, Rubin.
I'm going to get the president with a mortar.
Joseph Stalin claiming the mantle of responsibility.
Girl, I'm going to take you to Walmart.
The Sydney Zoo.
Oh my God.
What is that?
Oh, my God.
That's a...
What is that?
Me and my friend we made up.
Oh, is this yours?
That's shitty hip-hop song.
Sydney girl.
Yeah. Holy fuck.
That is a deep cut.
Type in...
It was coming back to me as I was thinking about it
because, like, yeah, that reminds me of something.
type in uh i think ice hollas to h a l-l-l-as and then sydney girl it's uh it's really fucking stupid
but uh enjoy i guess it's um it's um it's it's on archive dot org what
what i'm not even kidding look at this oh wait i never thought to like i was i i should have
specified it it's fucking archive look at this that is
How crazy is that?
Why would somebody put that on here?
It's only got 20 views.
21.
Why would somebody put this on here?
Does this say when publishing date?
Huh?
The 24?
Really?
Wait, what?
Hold on.
It was added it to 2019.
It got probably to 2019.
February 19th.
Oh, I see it now.
Okay.
Wow, who the fuck did that?
That's so weird.
and it was
But then the publication date is
2011?
I don't even remember
I guess that's accurate.
That's funny that you did that on Thanksgiving.
Dude is that real?
Well the Thanksgiving is the third Thursday.
There's no actual.
Yeah.
But it could have been.
It damn well could have been.
That is my brother's birthday actually.
That's fucking weird.
My brother is.
This is dog shit,
I'm bumping it. It's pretty good.
I would say it's pretty good.
I do like a couple of the bars.
One of my favorite bars
from there, I say pika, pika,
Pikachu, I want to lick you up and
down when I pee on you. I actually
do like that bar.
That's
iconic. You get
a call from Kendrick. He's like, honestly,
because of you, I'm going to kill myself because I can never
top you. I heard this bar.
I heard this bar and I've already
organized. I'm going to do a David
Blaine style suicide
where I'm gonna gather
I'm gonna gather hundreds of
I'm gonna gather thousands of people in Times Square
and I'm just gonna
I'm just gonna shoot myself with the head with a
colt 45
I'm crazy
I guess I'd have to be honored no
yeah I mean it's like I mean don't do that
but like I mean I appreciate that you called
sure right I don't want anything to do with this
but also you know I'm also gonna write
I'm gonna have a note on my person
blaming you for this
so everybody knows.
You did this, Derek.
It's crazy.
Oh, my God.
I'm going through, I'm seeing my suggestions on YouTube right now, and I got a suggestion for
Cupid Shuffle, not Cupid Shuffle, Cupid's Chokehold.
And that song came out 20 years ago, which is crazy.
All right.
It's on YouTube 20 years ago.
I probably came up before that.
Oh, yeah.
Nuts.
Transformer made, Transformer made of horse meat.
As Dali Parton would say, would have said,
I'm Kirkin' 9 to 5.
Let's go.
This is my confession.
I stole 3 billion from Sears.
I mean, Sears wasn't doing anything with it anyway, so it's fine.
Ronnie Radke's Raidt Kroke's Rumpus, the Sloker 2, Why So Derpy?
Oh my goodness.
Alone again on Kirkentine's Day.
Kirkentine.
Will you be my Kirkentine?
Hey, Patrick.
Will you be my Kirkentine?
Kirk and Tybald I don't know if we should be making fun of Charlie Kirk Spongebob
You know how they get Spongebob
You're a faggot, Patrick
Oh my God
Completely unnecessary
You're gay and stupid Patrick
Are you making fun of Charlie Kirk again?
That's not funny Sponsob
This beat is terrifying
Kirk boy Mityar
whatever
never mind
fucking Dutch
Dutch Olo
and the
Vanderbuk gang
beat Mahj and Micah
just learned
that the N and NBA
stands for a national
that's crazy
that's funny
that's not that bad
fun medical fact
some people get
colovessical
fistulism
literally piss shit
if it's so deep
turn that bitch into a Muppet
are we
Are we embodied heads or capitated bodies?
Oh, it's interesting.
I think we're embodied heads.
I like that.
We are heads with bodies more than we are bodies with heads, I would say.
The snark tank's resident V2.
What is it two?
You don't have an opinion?
Okay.
That's have a solid okay.
All right.
You're going to read it?
You're going to read or?
No, I think I just quit, actually.
The Star T-Tags resident V-tuber.
The T-U crew radio start filming around that Asian will gape sween
thrice for Resident Evil 5 remake.
Why Derek so defensive in arguments?
Boner?
What?
He got hard watching it.
Is it an asterisk?
Boner?
He's like, no, it's just an added question.
Boner?
Boner?
Brandy Hutzel getting mugged by several toddlers.
the queen of fab hazard
Derek should listen to
Tauhow music
I can see that
I'm seeing this word a lot more recently
What the fuck is going on?
How do you
What is Tauau?
I don't even know
How do you
The way you're pronounced it
T O T OU
HOU
T OU
T OU
Yeah what is this
Tau How Project
Japanese
It's a bullet hell
Shoot him up video game
What?
And he says
Tau How music
That's what he says
There was nothing else to it
What?
No, yeah, that's, hold on.
I should listen to Tau Howe.
I've never even heard of fucking Tauhow.
All Tau Howe music and order.
Jesus Christ.
19. What does that mean?
There's 19 of these games?
Oh, is this like anime slop?
It looks like that.
Yeah, this is not even close to anything that I would ever even fucking willingly.
Tahu, Tahu. I don't know how you.
How would they say it?
Yeah. I don't know.
I just assume it's Tau How because I feel like that's something I've heard before, but.
Interesting.
What would you find?
Oh no, no, because you said that
You just said that it was bullet hell, right?
I mean, that's what I read for three seconds
Yeah, just looking at it.
It just looks like
fucking extreme bullet hell shit, yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, I'll fuck with it.
Queen of Fap Hazard,
Derrish listen, Talibus, okay, Charles
coming for his 7-Eleven
like the FIB Roachman.
That's 7-Eleven order, man.
is still.
Oh shit,
I forgot about that.
What a fortuitous
I'm glad I did that.
What a great little bit.
Yeah,
it was good stuff.
What are y'all's thoughts
on trans femme Spider-Man?
I don't know,
whatever.
Yeah,
I saw that,
and I was like,
this is interesting?
What is like a million?
Is that a real official thing?
What does that mean?
I don't.
It's not official.
It's not official.
I said that too defensively.
It's not official.
Whoa,
now.
It's not official.
What it is is that some people online
have made a alternate reality
where Peter Parker is trans.
Okay, I don't get the shit. Yeah, it's fine.
It is what it is.
Yeah. Interesting timing.
Why?
Well, you know,
cultural war shit. Oh, yeah.
Of course.
Someone made this Homeland Security retreated this,
which is crazy because they retreat wild shit all the time.
But they retreated Transformers' Age of Deportation.
And Optimus Prime has an ice
has an ice fucking on his
stomach and it's pretty fucking funny.
It's terrible, but it's like,
that's such a wild joke.
This shit is such a fucking joke.
They had a legend to Zelda thing too with the Okerina time.
It's just like, you tell there's like a fucking 35 year old
fat intern at the White House. They had
a green lantern thing where Trump had the
mate had a ring and he made a wall
to stop mexism coming in. I was like, yo, this is
so ass. Someone was speculating that it was
that chick that he's been spending all this
time with. I forgot her name
but you'll see. Oh yeah. I know what you're
talking about. Yeah, like, she's, she's clearly obsessed with Trump, which is fucking hilarious.
Imagine that's your obsession. How, like, what a unlucky draw that is. Right. You could have
picked anything better. Like, God damn, dude. There's so many things that is, I would, I would overlook being
obsessed with, you know? Yeah. And I'm like, oh, I get it. Loverboy, I miss Sweenbot. Derek,
looks like every black lesbian I've met. Oh. That's.
crazy dude i have like a little bit of facial hair do they have like this too
they have beards that's pretty cool the ones that he's meant dude some lady at a gas station
told me i have the eyes of a wounded dog
i get it because i was out i was out with my contacts because i was like i got to get used
to these and she was really not she was nice or whatever but like it's so funny the way
she said i was like oh thank you i think it's like oh no it's sweet and then she laughed
And I was like, okay.
First of all, how are you so familiar with wounded dog eyes?
Exactly.
Like, what are you, Michael Vick?
Like, what is?
She's just seen a lot.
That's it, you know?
I guess so.
She kills dogs while they're injured, right?
Or while they're wounded.
And then preserves that, like, that facial expression they're making with the eyes.
And she preserves them on her shelves.
She has shelves of wounded.
dog eyes.
She finds dogs that have broken
their legs, strangles them, and then sucks
their eyes out like boba. Oh,
like boba. So the boba's
straw and everything.
Yeah.
Thugzilla versus
Sony's greed. Four swing set
glitch, GTA. Israel is spiritually
lesbian. Turning point
U.S. gay. Emilio
the chosen one. Insomnia, so bad.
I'm tempted to try Fent.
paid a use code Ben for 5% off the lawnmower 4.0.
Can I get one of Sweene's nudes to make it my profile picture?
Yes.
We'll send it to you right away.
My name's Kingston, yes.
My name's Kingston, yes, you may.
No, you cannot have that.
Don't take it.
Derek, don't say that because I said yes.
I'm Kingston.
Don't say no, Derek.
I'll sue you for slander.
I'll sue you for slander.
I'll rule your life for no good reason.
Canola Joe, resurgence, putting my cigarette out on my bitch wife's pussy.
Damn, that's rough.
Right.
Brother, holy shit.
Andy Colla.
If I smoked, man, I mean, I would.
I don't smoke.
Stay and still, bitch.
The Rock finally killing Derek for that gay cover.
Sorry, I can't have a burrito.
Heath got teeth pulled.
Now drinking blended Big Macs.
What did the gamer say to the penis?
What the hair?
tea bagging lady gaga
and her big pyramid nose
yeah she's got a honkerman i like it
she got a nose one i like i like big hungers on women's weird i don't know why
really yeah i don't know why some people some people make some people don't work with it
but like she works the ones that we work well i should say i should i should definitely preference
that i don't because there's some ethnic women that i was like that's i saw a photo shoot of her
I saw a photo shoot of her from, I don't even know how long ago, but like it pissed me off.
Like it made like an act like like it's like like you're so beautiful.
It makes me so bad.
She's not my type by because she's a pretty girl.
She's a pretty lady.
Yeah.
She's a pretty Italian lady.
It's completely my type.
Columbus smelled the natives and just assumed.
Malcolm Gex.
I don't know whatever.
Fuck you.
Charles Entertainment Kirk.
So good.
That shit's a bar, man.
What was the thing?
What was the thing you said about like?
Oh shit.
Oh,
Gorilla?
Wasn't it like a
I swear to God
there was like a Charles
Entertainment
Gorilla or something
some bullshit
some garbage
it was a garbage thing you said.
I don't remember.
I stumbled across it recently.
Charles Entertainment.
He was a Taco 2D
did make a Charles Entertainment
Kirk.
He did?
He did do that.
Yeah,
you didn't see that?
No, I did.
He never checked social media.
Yes.
I don't go on
social media like that anymore unless I'm going on Instagram
Oh, Chuckie Bear. Charles Entertainment
Bears is what it was.
I don't even remember that.
How the fuck did you? Did you look it up?
No, I just, I was thinking a little bit more about it.
I was trying to say, I knew it was an animal.
It just didn't take me long to remember.
Chuckie Bear.
Chuckie is there's Chuckie Bear.
Fucking Charles Entertainment.
Charles Entertainment Bear is a stupid.
Hey, Sweene, is your enormous mass available for rent?
Fuckface and Stoppel Cardboard Pie.
cum nut butters the ladies mayor
slurpus
slurpus clitwa
it's dumb
future is goaded
the chris brown is
Chris Brown secretly a lesbian goon devils
beat thanes by sounding him
dude I watch the thing about
him recently and dick I find
it broments when I start to dance booty wonderland
hey hey no he's just so constantly
entrantry like it's literally
nonstop Chris Brown
oh what? Oh I were talking about
I think you're talking about Curtis
he said, what is this slurp slurdis clit what is it slurpus clitwa?
It's insane. I was like looking through a shit and I was like, oh, he's just always doing something fucked up, bro.
It's like he's like, he's just like, he's just a bad guy.
There's that video. There's that video.
Yeah.
There's that video of him cutting the hump off of a camel and drinking out of it.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
He would just be going to get a bunch of fat to his mouth.
Those are the ones that just have like, you.
you know, alkaline, like, you know, 10, like 10 pH balanced water in there it comes.
10 pH, 10 pH Hawaiian punch in the, uh, in the, the, the camel's home.
And we all know how much Chris Brown loves Hawaiian punch.
It's, it's, if anyone knows anything about Chris Brown.
Mm-hmm.
It's that he's a fan of all types of punches.
Yeah.
Uh, Hawaiian punch, Caribbean punch.
Yeah, woman punch.
Yeah.
Uh, Rihanna punch.
Where's Rihanna from again?
That's crazy.
What stupid Caribbean?
So, yeah, there you go.
She's Trinidadian and a Guyanae.
So, so.
So,
Gradian punch,
Trinidadian punch,
you know,
all that.
She's from like the outskirt.
Yeah,
she's from,
you know,
slave punch,
I guess you just say.
I think,
I think,
is Barbados the capital of that area?
I think it's,
I think it's Barbados.
She's,
she's,
she's from Barbados.
Is,
I remember.
Okay.
Barbados.
So Jordan,
so Jordan Peterson is dead, right?
I'm pretty.
I would.
I'm fairly certain.
50, 50 chance easily.
and I take that bet.
Yeah, there's no reason to admit that he's dead if you can just continue to fucking
recycling his content because that's all they're doing right now.
I'm not even dead.
They just get some fucking impersonator off a fiber.
He impersonator.
He's like, I am not even dead.
It is me, Jordan Peterson.
Clean your room.
Jordan Indier, Indiersson.
Come on, I got it.
I got one.
I got one.
What is even on?
psychologically
clean your room
is Jordan Patelson
no wow he's making a lot more sense lately
oh my god
what if he's always been in Jordan Deep
Jordan Deep
what was it that you was it
was it um was it Jalen who sent
sent it might I can't remember what chat
this was in someone sent I think you and me
Kingston a video of like that got deep Roy
the guy, the little Indian guy. It's like the little Indian guy who played the umpalumpas in the remake of Charlie and the Chocolate Factor.
He knows his name is Deep Roy. I knew that I know that his name is Deep Roy because like I, that movie was like a way. I had that movie on DVD when I had a portable DVD player. So I was watching it a lot even though I didn't really like it that much. But I was interested in like the behind the scenes things and I would watch like the special effects and like how they did everything. Because I always love that shit. Even for shit movies.
but like yeah there was just an interview with that guy and I always remember like his name is deep Roy and I remember being a kid and be like huh deep deep his butthead reaction it's like your name is deep huh like like blow jobs yeah but yeah he shows up in this video of him just like he's at a bar with a bunch of people he's like shut the fuck up no one cares about what you're saying I was like what the hell it's a sketch but I was looking at this guy was like is that deep Roy or am I racist and then and then the guy goes whoa deep deep
And I was like, that's deep Roy.
No.
That's such a deep cut.
Oh, I didn't even mean this.
I didn't even mean to do that.
Oh, my God.
Mr. Jimmy Jam, Flatbush Franklin.
David, Dave Rubin said, scratch my back.
Now I have AIDS.
That is crazy.
That's such 2002 style homophobia.
That's not even funny, bro.
Come on, dude.
That's such a fucking late 90s, early 2000s form of like gay.
Hey, is that Jordan?
No.
It is Jordan coded.
He's racist.
Hold up a second.
I sent that picture of Michael Jordan hugging the dick to Jordan.
Oh, I appreciate that.
He just said heinous.
I was hoping that he would.
Oh.
You know,
but that he was going to Photoshop.
I'm also going to send it to him now.
I was I was hoping that he would
set the phone up and record himself
with his eyes going like,
oh, wuga, oh, wuga.
And jerking off real quick
and then going up to the camera and shutting
it off and not editing out the beginning
and ending it out. I like that.
It's him
awkwardly walking away from the camera.
And then walking up to it to shut it down.
That's good stuff. Flatbush Franklin.
Oh, I read that already.
You are morally obligated to rape flock employees.
I mean, relax a little bit.
Employees seems a little.
Yeah, that's a...
Raped the cameras.
That's a bit hot.
You can fuck the cameras, I guess, if you want.
They'll have a really high definition
photo of your penis, I guess.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That would be cool to come on the cameras, on the lenses.
That's crazy.
Like someone hanging.
Yeah, from the street.
Someone hanging. Oh, a shooter?
Damn, there are some of those guys out there,
especially the edge all day.
You're like, I'm back on.
Most I've ever, for the seventh I've ever gotten is 38 feet.
I don't know how you're.
That's crazy.
I've definitely come on my ceiling before.
If you look over here to the corner, there's a fucking stalact.
It's just still there.
It's still there.
I've heard some stories about ceiling comers and I'm like, you guys are, that's too much PSI, man.
You got to be careful with that shit.
That feels like, because couldn't that revert back into your balls and like explode your balls?
No.
No, it's just one big.
That's not how that works.
That's so insane.
That is like, that's like, that's like, that's like.
I can't talking about a human body.
Can't that go backwards?
Dude, my cousin had an experience once where he was like he was with his girlfriend and he was jerking off in her face and she put her finger in his peehole.
And it blew up like a gun.
It popped his balls off.
He said, what's up, Doc?
And it turned to find out that it was just freaking what you goes.
Bugs Bunny.
He was just trying to fucking
Bugs Bunny the whole time.
It's not even
the Bugs Bunny. He says the Ravit he named
Bugs.
A real
photorealistic rabbit named Bugs.
Jordan said, Jordan just said,
yo, Chris sent me this 15 minutes ago.
You think I'm gay or something?
Why do you keep sending me this shit?
So
As Jordan.
Back to him.
No, I said them something perfect.
I sent him a perfect response.
Hey,
give me what's the response
it's a you know that old video that PSA video of all the kids say calling
can make you fun of the kids being gay it's like gay gay homo
F word I sent him that I like those ones
I have that video saved I think three times
Can you ask him real quick um ask him to send a side profile
A picture of him looks like he's crying leaning on something
Can you tell him ask him that?
Oh yeah
After he's already seen
The image?
There's like zero transparency.
Hey, look at this.
Also, can you do that pose exactly?
I want to see something.
I want to see so.
No, no reason.
No reason.
You don't even wait a day.
Like, give you stuff like plausible.
Who is someone I don't like that I care?
I don't like enough to do that to them.
Well, like someone, it's got to be a real person.
It's got to be a real person.
Jordan's a real person.
I think, I don't think Jordan fits it quite another.
he's not homophobic and a freak to really bother him.
Oh yeah, no, no, it doesn't, but like, I just,
just playing into it. I want to see if he'll
actually, even though he knows what's going to happen,
will he comply? He knows
is coming, because I
absolutely am going to shop him
into this photo.
That's crazy.
Oh, my God. Someone holding,
someone holding a penis like that is so
nuts. It's so big.
No, it's under, there's underhold, too.
All right.
A penis gay tequila.
Maycar, Jews,
tell your children not to ride my train.
Star Coffee, the other V-tuber,
Chris's little,
Swinney's little anal-butterboy.
Putting analog cigarettes out on robot dogs,
yush,
Darth Vader's burned singy penis.
I don't really is there anymore.
Looks like Team Rockets jacking off again.
Nice.
Hamas, the plane engine.
Craig, the Canadian.
Sacred has
Sacred
I like
By the way
I like Hamas
the plane engine
because it's like
it's so ignorant
Yeah
Yeah yeah
You know it's like
It's like
There's a video I saw recently
Like some dude
And it's like
He's like going through pictures
of GTA I think
And he's going through
Some of the characters
And it's a picture of like Franklin
And what's the
What's the guy's name
The guy with the
That his friend
Franklin
Lamar's
Yeah Lamar's
I think that's correct.
I saw that, dude.
And somebody was like,
they look like key and peel.
And the streamer is like,
I'm not going to just love this one.
That's like,
that's like a white person experiencing their second pair of black people ever.
Getting real key and peel vibes from this.
One of them's not even bold.
They don't even remotely look like key and peel.
Like they actually look probably,
I don't want to say the furthest from them that a black person could possibly look,
but it's like,
it's on that.
side of the spectrum.
They don't look similar at all.
People are both light-skinned black people.
Yeah.
Keegan is particularly light.
Keegan looks like a lot of other ethnic groups, particularly him.
North African.
I thought he was, I thought he was fucking Hispanic.
Oh, he could be he looks Hispanic actually.
Yeah.
I have a cousin who looks like that.
He's got, he's got like dumb hair, but like it looks like that.
He reminded me, I thought like, yeah, that Hispanic or possibly North African, I just
I was like, he could be from anywhere.
He has that type of thing he does.
He looks like that like, I don't know, kind of grow people.
The only thing he couldn't, I don't know if there's anything he couldn't be actually.
Right.
Like maybe Asian.
Like maybe Chinese.
Yeah, like, like, yeah, that type of Asian.
Yeah.
Lily said that Mick looks like him, but if Mick was if, if, if, if, if, if, if,
never by, I don't care.
You've stumbled over your words.
If you took mixed Asian half away and added black, that would be him.
That would be him.
That's crazy.
It's a lot of work still.
It's a lot of work.
It's like, oh, that would make us black.
That'd be in.
I'm like, all right, honey, sure.
Craig the Canadian.
Such a classic.
Sacred has picture comments, but Snartank doesn't.
Find out of enable that, Kingston.
I don't know how to do that.
I don't care to do that.
The last thing you need as an audience is more reasons to spam the question.
I was just hoping that we'd find some interesting photos like,
maybe more hulks with a skip roping
but this is the thing like the photos that we would get are photos that we couldn't show on the show anyway
so it's like it's that's probably that's good point
I don't see the video a picture of someone gaping her asshole as much as they could
well yeah if they do that then they'd ruin the veins on their arms
it's your boy shawnee d Ray Parson Zach Rock is a true goady guy
finished elden ring moving into securo
imagine my profile picture ending up in a textbook
I can't even zoom in that far.
What is it?
This is Benjamin Netanyahu?
Is that literally just Benjamin Netanyahu?
That's cool, I guess.
Oh, it's...
He's Kirkified.
Oh.
Perfect.
I love it.
Breaking news.
U.S. Senator Litch McConnell has obtained both the eye and hand of Vecta.
It's EFok and it's funny Charles Entertainment.
Kirk. Dick's so dirty. They call me Richard Nixon.
Kremlin to Gremlin.
Dominican Bruce Wayne.
Minobot, Poppy.
about,
uh,
my mom loves guys common anal sex.
That's why I'm like I am because I am like her.
New X-Men 97 season is so peak,
I forgot to jerk it to rogue.
Uh,
evil queen be like,
we,
we will,
we will gape sweene.
What?
Isn't that hot swing?
Yeah,
they're going to rape you.
They're going to rape you.
They're going to rape you.
Yeah.
Um,
anyway.
I don't think I deserve that.
Well,
I mean,
this isn't real.
I,
sorry.
that's something like you were trying to comfort him
this isn't real don't worry
it's nothing's going to happen
what are you looking at what'd you find i i'm starting to
question whether the the dLSS 5 that i'm seeing
examples of are real i'm starting to question it now
because the one that i'm seeing of new vegas i'm like i don't think this is real
this looks way too fucked up i don't i'm like there's no way this is real
some of them are real a lot of them a lot of them a lot
Dude, I've seen some pretty fucked up examples that are real.
But there's some with like Charlie Kirk in them.
It's like, brother, this is not what DLS is doing.
That's what stupid.
Put Charlie Kirk in it.
I put Charlie Kirk in fucking as Nico Bellic.
Oh, I'm seeing.
Just literally I just saw that right now.
A fucking, uh, a fucking Kirk of a fallout.
Oh, is that the lotto guy?
Yeah.
That's crazy.
Today's my lucky day.
Oh my god.
Wage Slate 583.
Guys, I think my hand and dick are a lesbian couple.
That is so dumb.
The Pippini Bros.
hoping that Hideo Keggis in the last episode
The Smiling Friends, Donk, Dacherson, Dixon, Butts,
Pee-P, Willie Wanker, and the Piss Factory.
Thanks for listening to the inseparable coastal elite faggaz.
Please fuck me gay and hard on your 4-F-150.
Lesbian Lions fan in Detroit,
Triple Whammy.
Charles Entertainment Kirk.
There's somebody chart Charlie Entertainment.
That's excellent.
That's a good one, man.
It's not bad.
Ghost pussy?
Yes or no?
I guess.
I mean, I try it.
No.
I try it.
I mean, I would, I'm not above that at all.
Like a ghost?
I'm about that.
I don't want a nut and my nut just falls on the floor somewhere and I got to clean that up.
But I mean, whatever.
Half of the point about having a partner is being able to nut on something I don't have to clean up afterwards.
Good point.
What do you mean?
You don't.
Never mind.
I don't clean.
I don't clean up women.
That's crazy.
That's crazy.
You just leave them there
to fend for themselves.
Fill them up and move on.
You fill up the guys.
You don't fill up the guys and then fucking
suck the fucking
that's insane.
I've just seen that at the expation.
So I just finished fill something.
Take.
I'm terrified.
I'm never coming back.
I'm never coming back.
He was like, yo, dude, he, he, somebody gets gas and they suck it all out.
Walks off unbothered.
No change in his physique.
John Strickland, sauce.
The first church of key, David presents 10 inches.
Goops McKenzie, Pryoraz.
Swin the type of guy to say thanks after sex.
Thanks.
Am I?
That's so crazy.
I have never once even.
even thought to thank a person
I've said ill before
in general
in general
in general
Kingston speaks
like if
XQC read a few books
Trump bragging
his tower is now the tallest
on 9-11
Oh yeah
actually didn't happen
That's goofy
Yeah and incorrect
Literally wrong
It's literally wrong
It's insane
Fucking so stupid
Into the Kirkaverse
Chairman Lamau
that's dumb monkey monks monkey monastery Gucci gang my gooches gang green postpartum depression makes me say the n word
dude i mean that that Lindsay Clancy thing is like a it's it is a wake up call man because uh
you can just kind of get away with anything now i mean well chill uh maybe maybe not right now
she's gonna get fucked in the ass she got lucky with this one yeah i think that situation is crazy
and i every cringe post i've ever made every bad video i've ever made i didn't
I didn't do that. That was my postpartum depression.
That wasn't me.
I hope no responsibility for anything.
I think that's like a very serious thing that like it, that it's like, again, the internet is not helping it at all.
At all.
I think that's like a super serious conversation.
Of course.
But it's also like, like how, how complicated is it real?
I feel like people overcomplicate it.
Purposefully.
Purposefully.
Yes.
Yes.
People should be getting better help for mental health.
No, it doesn't give you fucking free reign to.
She also did something
She did something crazy that
You know
Point of no return crazy
Even regardless of the actual situation
It was and it's not like
Looney Ben she literally doesn't know where she is right now
And she can't stand trial
That's already enough
It's like there's literally nothing else to discuss
Other than if you want to talk about the mental health side of things
But as far as guilt
I'm like there's not much to discuss
Yeah
The fuck can you discuss
That whole conversation was so insane to me
When I was watching this is like
Well you can have empathy for
Well sure you can have empathy for people
going through mental health crisis, it doesn't mean you fucking
let them go
after they, after they, yeah.
I think that situation needs to be taken
like, that needs to be taken off
screens. That's not a
helpful on screen conversation.
Because it's leading to people that just
want to incite more division to fucking
say dumb shit. Media. It's just like another
one of those things from you where it's like, I'm not going to entertain
this. I'm sorry. I mean, yeah, but it's all,
it is also just crazy. Oh, 100%.
It's not just like, oh,
because I did some see, see people
talk about like how it's like oh this is just a distraction it's like I mean like in a broad sense I guess
it is but like this is it orchestrated and like this is just how people are this is the fucking
government this is just the media found another cash cow like this is this is this is like oh great
this is great to talk about I'm like I guess this one did not because I saw like I watch a long
crime network every once in a while and I was reading in this before it blew up on anything
and I was like oh it's fucked up and I briefly mentioned it too when I said on the show and it
started gaining traction and that's as much as I cared to not
enough to say about it. I was just like, I don't really, I didn't see it catching on the way it did,
but then I was like, I'm stupid. I forget what normies are normally attracted to. Yeah. And like the
Casey Anthony thing was so big. For me, it's just sad. Yeah. Yeah. It's just funny though, watching
people watching the women go to the go to the rally or whatever with their, with their babies.
That's so fucking crazy. For me, it's just sad. This is a sad situation. And everyone, everyone involved is
like, these are like hurt for me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Who's left to be hurt even?
And you hear about that crazy.
The husband.
You hear about that copycat chick?
She fucking, she hanged their fucking son.
She got interested in this case.
And she.
Are you serious?
I'm not even kidding.
We're not kidding.
Her little son.
Do you see what I mean?
Do you see the words?
Do you see how literally what I said is true?
Do you see how actively what I said is true?
Yo, let me say something.
Let me say this real, a real quick, real earnest.
I'm being serious here.
shout out to my mom for not killing me
for real
I didn't realize it was something that most people
wanted to do
postpartum is fucking horrifying dude
I saw it in my sister when she had her first kid
and I was little and I was like she's not all right
yeah well what did she do
did she like dribble it
no dude she told me about when she got older
she was like I hated what she did to my body
and that's real
because it's violent and horrible it's
I think I think two things
shit that's crazy two things about like
because no absolutely and here's the thing
when it comes to women people they don't get proper they don't get properly medicated so here's two things
that is true within pregnancy there are psychological medication you should probably get as an option
you should probably just have that on deck to use if needed same thing what happens when you go through menopause
women don't get treated for that either when they just an easy hormone imbalance to fix through fucking
medication through uh through drugs it's a very easy thing but instead they just suffer through it like
just have to go through it.
Well, the thing is that they also don't have the mental health work to be able to acknowledge, like, hey, you don't have the intelligence about your body enough.
It's really sad, though.
When we're living in.
That's him closing the door behind his wife, but she starts talking.
And I'm always killing my babies because they make me sad.
Is that a blood borne?
What is that?
No, it's Daydrick.
Oh, I thought that was fucking RFK.
It's RFK.
What are you saying?
RFK and Sire now.
Get me that armor.
Derek, Chris, that triggered me so bad.
I'm so upset, dude.
Can you go to Bleak Falls Barrow?
I need a dragon claw talism.
He would definitely try to eat everything in Skyrim.
He would try to eat a dragon.
He would get killed.
Yeah, see a rag doll after he gets swiped once.
He would kill a dragon.
He tried to eat and you, but he would snap at you.
He would be, but what are you doing?
I needed that.
I needed that dragon.
Where's it tomorrow?
You would run into him on the side of the road, sawing the foot off of a dead giant.
To put it into like a stew or something.
I'm building, I'm building giant stew.
I'm building a giant stew.
You see that video where he talked about not having a gag reflex?
Yeah.
This dude is fucking
He's just
He's a freak
He's a legit free
He gets to swallow all the road kill
He eats whole
He can literally unhinges his jaws
Like a fucking snake
This nigga lays on this nigga takes his shirt off
Lays on his tummy and eats things without chewing it
This guy's a fucking suck
He does that thing
He does that think that birds do
Where he uses like physics
To like
I love saying that
I love Zimbers
It's pulling in
He just unhinging his jaw and wiggling a little bit
As he eats the thing
It's way more efficient than a fork and knife.
I had all my teeth replaced with soft membrane.
I can't chew anymore.
Ew.
I hope he steps into a bear trap. That's it.
Problem is he has already.
He chewed himself out and then he fucking reattached his leg or something with them.
His feet might as well.
And I used my meth abilities to heal.
I put.
I got rid of my feet and put bare feet on my leg.
You don't know
We've never seen his feet
We've never seen his feet
He's literally a meth head
And he's the fucking head of the
Oh my God
He's literally a meth
Don't think about it too much man
It gets it's
It's that one's like
That one's more upsetting than Donald Trump to me
Like just I'm like
Okay we've we've
This clowns been here before
But then it's like hey
Who's in who's in charge of health
That was like that is a worst thing
Yeah
Bernie Sanders was tripping
During that trial he was tripped
I've never seen him that active
before you stupid what is going on this guy's an idiot well how about that dumb cunt that's uh you know
one of the senators that's like oh i'm a physician and you know he's dealt with vaccines so he was
like concerned still they fucking he still votes for him and then red later is talking mad shit
about him again and i'm like i you need to be killed i'm i am so serious about this that
you were concerned about him they twisted your arm they whipped you in the place to vote for them
and then you still complain about them.
I'm like, no, fuck you.
It really is crazy.
You don't get to do that shit.
Do you need to lose your position?
It needs to be so.
It needs to be that fast.
Literally that quick.
It needs to be like,
all right,
you did something like this.
You still,
you,
there's nothing for me.
Like,
look,
I understand my enemy is my enemy.
I know you're my villain.
I know you're a villain.
I know you're against me.
There is nothing worse than a coward that falls by the wayside when he's met with opposition like that.
We bite their dicks off.
You should literally,
you should literally just be not allowed to play to say.
Game.
Rip his dick off, dude.
That's, that's the punishment.
You get your stuff, you go on a plane, and you leave right now.
That's it.
You leave before you get your, your, yeah, your, your balls exploded.
We will explode your balls for, chill like that.
And if you stay here, you are a sentence.
You can own property.
You can eat, you can eat it like a, you can eat a handful of fries while you're
working at McDonald's and get potentially fired while you're working.
You know, you just steal some from there.
And then if you do something like this, you completely lie.
You got to
The president could lead to wars
Kill people
Be a rapist
Be best friends with a pedophile
Your crimes
And you're not having balls
Flocked
Your crimes have been thoroughly
Your crimes have been thoroughly
Listed for the jury
And we've all decided
That we're going to
Sotter your penis shut
So that you
Your balls explode
That's not even enough, bro
That's not even enough
I like that
Like the idea of holding
like trying to not piss for the longest time.
Like how long could you last?
Like you just like, oh no, you know it's coming eventually.
That first pissed, your ball's going to explode.
It's over.
You just know what a five star is?
No.
It's literally when you get open hand slap someone's back,
but a gorilla has to do that to you.
Oh.
It's like, all right.
You got a girl.
I got a five star you.
I like that.
If you make, if you make any noise after the hit, it does it again.
If you make a single sound.
You got to get you got to get you got to get hit and you got to get hit and then smile and do a dance afterwards
And it better be it better be fluid
Hades is just reverse Diablo happy Kirkavoursary from turning pale USA
Games that would be improved by a Hulk boss fight
Not many
Happy Kirkaversary
To all those who celebrate Sauron mommy domi
The Brainworm begging for
the release from its
prison, Mitt Loop, sorry
Ms. Jackson, Ethereum has the past
because he took a loss of his hard ass. Progerian
Hunter has officially has a daughter, frying bacon
with my shirt off, the original Charles Entertainment
Kirk, all hands on Dick,
Naferam, and rounding out our list as always.
The king of
haphazard. Yeah.
Magnificent.
Magnificent.
Somebody minded Goku and a Residentable 4.
is he moving mad or is he just like regularly on but is this is the go no no it's definitely like from
I don't know which game this is from or is he tripping I don't know like what uh oh what is he teleport
did he teleport he did the fucking instant transmission I don't know like what this is from I don't
that is reasonable for yeah but like the model of Goku that's 10 kaiichi
I'm assuming I'm assuming that's post I'll just beat freeza let me look at it closer because I want to
make sure that it's because I mean it might be I mean I would imagine it's probably sparking zero right
I mean oh maybe that's the most yeah that makes sense best I'm talking about the design
this picture this guy hugging his stick is amazing man all right I'll uh all right we'll see you
next time remember patreon.com slash start thinking you can go over there uh join us toss us a buck
and uh yeah we'll see you next time
