The Yak - Funniest Travis USA is Off to an Electric Start | The Yak 2-21-23

Episode Date: February 21, 2023

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Hey, Yak listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. I don't think you could be named Travis and be funny. What about Trevor? Yeah, let's find the funniest Travis. You can't be funny as Trevor. Yeah, we should do a show.

We should find the funniest Travis USA. We searched America from coast to coast to find a Travis who can make us laugh the most. But it's going to be a struggle because everyone knows you can't be funny if your name is Travis. But all we need is one to pass the test to stand out from the rest. It's the best of the

best. And one of them is bound to be a legend today because it's time to find the funniest Travis in the USA. Oh, hell yes. Let's go. We're back. Season 10 of the Yak? Is it? Is it the new season?

Yeah, the new season. I think we should do a new... It's 11. 11? That was 10. I think it should be the new season. Season debut today. I think today should just be season 11, where we tried to find the funniest trappers.

Our season 12? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Start a new season. Does it smell rich as fuck in here? Oh, no. What the fuck is that potent smell?

Just to clarify. What the hell? Just to clarify. I was already rich. Okay? I just got more rich. A lot more? Negligible.

A lot more? More. Yeah, more. I still have to pen stock Penn Stock still needs to perform. On paper, very much more rich. Yeah. Well, enjoy those taxes. I would never want something like that.

I know. That was the funniest thing about Francis' tax bracket video. It's like, dude, I've been in that bracket. Yeah. Sucks. Tax the fuck out of you. Yeah. Yeah. video it's like i've been in that yeah sucks packs the fuck out of you but yeah um yeah i got i got more money yeah you're out man thanks you you work a fuck time awkward no no not at all it is a little awkward uh i i said congratulations to you today but i didn't know if i should like under the breath

under his breath like walk by what's up nick i I should have. It's like under his breath. He walked by. What's up Nick? I was like congratulations. Yeah he's like hey congratulations. And I just like shook my head the whole I was going to get food and I was just like why'd I do that? We should splurge on something. We should definitely splurge on something. I'll buy something. For the crew. Something cool. Something real.

You know Stephen Che? Fuck Stephen Che. Where's he been? He's out today because I think one of his kids is sick, but tomorrow he better not be out. Oh, that's weird because yesterday he invited me to go to the zoo and he took his kids to the zoo. Oh, interesting. He's not well enough to be here, but he was at the zoo yesterday. Tomorrow I'm taking him, Roan, and Nate to Les Bernardin. You're not allowed to have any content come from it.

No content. Male friendship. Love that. To the peak. The best content there is. Yeah. So how do you guys feel now that I'm more rich? Dude, I was acting different around you.

Yeah, you were. You were all shy and shit. I was nervous as fuck. I don't get it. Hey, Dan. Has anything changed? were. You were all shy and shit. I was nervous as fuck. I don't get it. Hey, Dan. What happened? Has anything changed? Nothing.

That's why it's weird. Yeah. I think it's going to make copying you more expensive. Yeah, it might. No, but I'm not. You're not going to change? Again, I've had money,

so it's like I don't. Yeah, it's not like you ever didn't have clothes. Will you at least help me fund? I don't buy anything nice. I'm just going to lose more money gambling responsibly. I had to buy a mercedes damn

yeah that's true but yeah it did feel weird because it's i always thought that the day that we like fully sold would be the day i quit the internet yeah instead it was like well no i'm back to work on sunday night yeah so yeah we're back at it i think you're ever gonna actually quit the internet i don't know you not. I don't think so. It's too accessible. Oh my God. Do you guys see Winoi this weekend? The most famous chef in the world, some would argue, right? Yeah.

A million followers. I didn't know who he was, but I was still satisfied. Can we get an explanation here? What do you mean? What happened? Chef. It started with Soledad O'Brien, CNN anchor. Can we get an explanation here? What do you mean? What happened? Chef. It started with Soledad O'Brien, CNN anchor. Yeah, she follows everyone.

How did it start there? She just posted a meal. I guess it's like a Spanish dish, a Spagnola tortilla, and my dad just replied claiming that was actually soup. Oh. And he convinced her. Yeah, yeah.

And he found out about the poll feature on Twitter. And he's loving posting polls now. Oh, hell yes. The Spagnola Tortilla sounds like offensively Spanish. Yeah, it's the most Spanish thing in the world. It's just soup. He was correcting this woman who's very Spanish of what it was. It's just soup. I got a Doug Winoy shout out last night because I was telling an anecdote about how I'm raising

a troll. And I think that's exactly how you and your dad interacted when you were a child. Yeah, I guess. I don't. Did he get it from you or did you get it from him? Yeah, it's a good question. I don't know if he's been like paying attention to my work the past eight years or he was a troll. It's an inherent thing. I don't know if he's been paying attention to my work the past eight years. He was a troll. He had that.

It's an inherent thing. I don't know. He was a troll when you were growing up. He was a prankster. Right. He was a smaller scale troll, which I think is just dick. Yeah. He was an asshole.

Right. They got Tegan. She was like, oh, I'm loving this chef. Keep roasting this guy. Fuck yeah, Doug. What are the odds he becomes your co-worker? High. After that, I think if he wants the job, he can probably be able to get it.

Yeah. Very high. You guys should start the first father-son podcast. Oh, man. Oh, we have merch. We have St. Patrick's Day merch right here. Anyone want to put one on? What size are you?

XL or 2X. TJ texted the group today and said, what size is everyone we needed for Roback? And Brandon's 3XL. Yeah. State of the Union. Shocking to see. Yeah. Shocking. In tall sizes's 3XL. Yeah. State of the Union triple. Shocking to see. Shocking. In tall sizes. 3X. Roback is a

wonderfully made product and the 3X fits me a little bit better than the 2X does. 3X is a point of no return. No, I'm returning. I could do a 2X. No, 2X. I could do a 2X. You could do a 2X. You don't say 3X unless you really need 3x

That was a public group chat You knew the scrutiny I've been a 2x for a while And I'm fighting back to get to be an X Because I know that Once you get to a 2x It's a line in the sand Of every man's life

Which way is this going You can't be an X I can be an X I You cannot be a 3X. I can be an X. I can throw on an X right now. I'm an X. I doubt we have an X in this room. It's just a large. Here's an X. Throw it on.

Throw on the X. Over this shirt? No, you can take off your shirt. If you're in a group chat with us and you could do 2X, you say 2X. Yeah, right. Or you don't even respond. Yeah, you say a private message.

Right. Yeah, but the 3X. You had to know that that was going to come back up. He has no sense of self-preservation. I was shocked. A 3X. This is going to be outrageous. He's going to squeeze into this thing.

There's a very attractive person here at the office today, and I would love them to walk down the stairs when Brandon's taking his shirt off. Who's the attractive person? I don't think we can say. How many titles does he have? Fictional or real? Six.

Real. Six? Probably like 50. Six? He's going to be on anus. Bumped into him as well. Oh, yeah, he is. Yeah.

He's got six titles. You're thinking of his father. Oh, shit. That actually doesn't look that bad. Now one wash and you're fucked. Right. I don't wash my clothes. Brandon, I was expecting it to be way worse.

Let me be the first to apologize. You know what? Thank you. Get a large. Let's see if we can get a large. Come on. Buy our Yak merch. St. Paddy's Day merch.

You got enlarged. It does. It looks nice on the arms. I'll say that. Yeah, it does. Holding a beer. St. Patrick's Day. And the nice thing about this shirt

is you don't have to explain it to anyone. You know, the joke is just simple. Even if you don't follow the Yak, who wouldn't understand this? Yeah. You know? Brandon's not Irish. Brandon's one of those guys that's just American, who wouldn't understand this? Yeah. You know? Brandon's not Irish. Brandon's one of those guys that's just American, right?

Yeah, I see. He's nothing. Right. You're red. There's nothing. Oh, the sleeves are... There's nothing. No, we can't track his family's lineage.

Oh, no. Actually, yeah. Yeah. I owe you a bigger apology. Dude, you're a large. You are a large. Yeah. You're a large. You are a large. Yeah. You're a large.

I just said large. What the fuck, dude? Yeah, feels good. Huh. No, don't. I mean. Yeah, curious. You want to try?

A little curious. I mean, if it helps sell shirts. This is a medium. I think you can get into a medium. You think it'll help sell shirts? Yeah, I think I probably would. What about every thousand likes we go down a size? Do it here, too.

We've all seen you with your shirt on. We've all seen. Stand up, though. Don't sit down and do it. Oh, God. Okay, all right. Well, you didn't know did not respond how to be fat you responded 3x in a group chat of the most deviance people on the internet your

pants were to your thighs and i still didn't see your ass crap that's right no ass oh yeah getting it this is gonna be a little bit tougher to get on i don't that one looks small. That's tiny. Brandon, you said 3X. You might be a medium, dude. Yeah. It's definitely highlighting the arms and the shoulders. Oh my god, you're a medium. You're a medium. What the fuck? This is actually

slimming. Your arms look ripped. Wait, even sitting down isn't that repulsive. It's almost like a Spanx. I think I'm a medium. You're a medium, dude. Does it feel tight? You're a medium.

Not really. You look real. I can't feel anything. Dan, I don't think we have an S. There's no reason to have an S. Really? You have body dysmorphia, dude. Yeah. I don't think we have an ass you can

shape shit into whatever you need to shape it into brandon you look awesome right now i know it's the yak shirt the saint patrick's day shirt can wear them any one size fits all i would say i would say fellas buy three or four sizes. Right. And just do like I did. I can have one for formal wear. I can have one for going out on a date, shit like that. Graphic might shoot off that shirt. Why don't they have that where it's like the more you drink, you can loosen up the shirt? They have that for pants.

Oh, yeah. They should have that. We should make shirt belts. Why haven't we done that where it's like you just loosen it up just a little. I don't even want it to be loose. I want it to be like a box around. Yes. I don't want it to touch my skin. You can't see anything. I want to be wearing a shower coat

by the time I'm done drinking. Or just walk around with a blanket on. I don't care about comfort. When dry fits were popular, I hated that. You could see every nook and cranny of them, my man. You get a dry fit that doesn't fit. Bad.

That's when everyone was reeling to CrossFit, too. So I feel like those two. Yep. That was a lot going on. Yep. Where's Roan? He's not here. He said he'd be late.

He's filming a commercial. Oh. I thought he was looking at houses in Chicago for Pat Bev. Mm-hmm. Oh, he was doing that yesterday. Yesterday. Got it. Got it.

Look at that. Pat Bev's bowl. That fell into place. Do you have anything to do with that, Dan? Huh. Huh. Interesting. I am going to sign with a three-year, $30 million contract to play for the Bulls. Good deal.

I have a one-time exception. A random person can pay a salary. Roan or Pat? I will pay for Pat. And Roan will have no choice but to come to Chicago. Would you own a team now? No. Not a big four team.

I'm talking minor league. No. And lose money? You could get an A-ball team. No. Let's get you an A-ball team. You guys are way over us. Yeah, I don't know.

Albuquerque Isotopes, you could own that. No way. You and Biz should go half and half on the Nailers. Durham Bulls. Trenton Thunder. Trenton Thunder? I mean, those gotta go for what? Maybe like a choir, like a worldwide choir. Oh, you could buy a choir.

Oh, yeah. Just buy a bunch of children. Hard knocks, but for the choir. Rock. Yeah, we could buy a team. I could buy like a softball team. Beer League softball team. Like the best Beer League softball team.

You could buy a bunch of studs. That'd be fun for everyone. Yeah. I feel like. I should do that. Like Mr. Burns, right? Yeah, the bowling league. Or when he got all the...

Steve Sachs and King Griffey Jr. Wade Boggs. King Griffey Jr. had gigantism? Yeah, and just buy all the stud softball players and just go to every game and watch them. I think you could make a Denton Pickleball. I sponsor. I'm on Stella Blue make a dent in pickleball. I sponsor... I'm on...

Stella Blue Coffee's on a pickleball team. I do not like playing pickleball. What does Anus sponsor? Do we have Temple Lacrosse? Do you? Yeah, the club team. The club team, yeah. Fuck yeah.

How did y'all get on that? How did we... We networked with someone. Yeah, we networked. Was it the... Called networking? Why are you questioning me? I don't networked. Was it the app? It's called networking. Why are you questioning me? I don't know.

Yeah. Should we do some Travis's? Yeah. So we found out the plural of Travis is Travis. And I guess we have just our signs here. If we agree that it's... Does that just mean what I think it means? Oh, that's a yes?

I think that's a no. That's a no. I think that's a no. If it a no. I think that's a no. Travis is funny. If he's a Travis, then he's just not funny, right? This is an X. Right, that's a voted off. Two Travis, yeah.

No, that guy's two Travis. How many Travis's vote somebody off? Majority Travis. One, two, three, four, five. Same as American Idol. Well, four Travis's, he's done. Four four Travis's he's done four Travis's he's done four Travis's you're out

how many Travis's do we have 32 Travis's we got like 50-ish submissions some of them were just not usable at all I have 32 Travis candidates some will get kicked off pretty quickly

that's a lot of Travis. Today's Travis day, so were you not expecting this? I thought we had whittled it down past 32. I thought we'd pick up in the round of 16, maybe the Elite Eight. Travis's don't get a lot of opportunities, so they all probably saw this. You're right. All right, so we have 32 Travi. Travis.

Travis. And then I think we should try to, by the end of the day, get down to 10 Travis. I'll tell you right away, eight of them are not named Travis. Oh, that's a tough one. So, okay. I don't know how they're in. I guess we've got to hear them out. Yeah, what if they blow our mind?

Like, one of them blows our mind. Yeah, it shouldn't even be. They should blow our mind because they're not named Travis. If they make the next round, they do have to change their name legally. Yes. Yeah. Is 8Travis a pipe dream or should we go for even less? Well, I was thinking we get it down to a certain number, whatever number that is.

And maybe, is everyone here Friday? Yeah. Maybe we have them Zoom in, all of them at the same time. 8Travis. 8Travis on Zoom. You can handle 8Travis? 8Travis. Do we have the gigabyte And then we just start.

Do we have the gigabyte? Then we just kick them off one by one. Yeah. Until we find the funniest. Yeah, I like that. Just like. I like that a lot. If you say something random, it's like you're gone.

Or do we fly the final two out? Ooh. We can go from eight to two on Friday. I don't think I can afford that. Yeah, you're right. Fuck. Text Gaz on Friday. What'd you say?

I was just like, hey man, why have we never chilled? Gaz, what a glow up he's about to have. Probably going to buy some hats. Go to Turkey to buy a nice hat. Yeah, like what do you do if you're Gaz? He's like, I'm going to get some more hats. Some more barstool sweatshirts. What's he going to get?

Yeah. Line in the pockets of Just Salad down the street. Yeah. Salads and hats. He's going to get the reusable bowl from Just Salad. Finally. Okay, yeah. So should we just hop into the Travis's? finally okay yeah so should we just hop into the Travis's

yeah if you want to follow along at home I set up a Twitter for it at funniest Travis beautiful and I love that that just wasn't taken because why would it be and then somebody Will Park submitted the logo that says funniest Travis

is that on like a lowered ranger? That's pretty good. That's pretty perfect. And then also there was a dead Travis that somebody asked this to be in memoriam of. Travis Williams. He said he was funny, but he died. I think we can...

Okay, let's put that to a vote. No, he wasn't, but he will memorialize it. He will be memorialized. This is in memory of Travis. R.I.P. Travis. Can we have like a closing graphic? Just says that moment of silence.

Like when they whenever some like camera guy on real world died. Yeah. Hurry it up. I was always the one. Right. It's always behind the scenes. And it's always like real world or road rules. You're just like, oh, shit.

That guy died? Okay. Runs here right on time for Travis Day. What's up, brother? Hey! We haven't even started. It's Travis Day. Guess what size Brandon's wearing right now. Large?

Oh, no. XL? Oh, brother. Double XL? Why do you keep going up? Go down. What are you wearing? This is an M.

Man's wearing a medium. You look good as fuck. You have makeup on? You got an inside out? Yeah, I just came from a pop punk KFC shoot. So I still have some eye makeup on, sadly. That shit is hard to get off. I know, bro.

It sucks. I figured you guys would understand, but I apologize. Don't understand. Yeah, you do, dude. I've seen you with your face painted fucking Boku times. Boku times I've seen you. Were you on your chick shit? Yeah, kind of.

Sucks. Damn. Sucks being a girl. I empathize with you, Kate. That shit is hard. I'm not a girl. I don't Damn. Sucks being a girl. I empathize with you, Kate. That shit is hard. I'm not a girl. I don't know. I never wear a t-shirt.

Hey, were you offended by Tiger Woods? No. I don't follow. Okay. I don't follow sports. Oh, the tampon? Yeah. The tampon thing.

People were pissed about it. People were really pissed about it. One person was pissed about it. Tiger really should have just done a press conference after and been like, Fuck her. No, he should have just been like, you guys going to question whether I love women? Yeah.

I know I love women. There's no one who loves women as much as I do. And then just walked off. Would have been way better. That was an awesome day for Twitter, just seeing people so angry. Somebody explain to me why this is funny. Such, like, people are angry. Somebody explain to me why this is funny. People are

fucking insane, dude. People just haven't had anything. Golf culture is the worst, like calling you a Nancy if your putt is short, or hitting it with your purse, and they were just using all these references. Ladies' tees? Ladies' tees, yeah.

What is it if you don't shoot past the ladies' tees? You have to pull your pants down to your ankles and whatever. The best part about that is everyone just saying all these jokes, and you know there's a middle-aged white guy who's reading them and being like, Nice. Yes. I got some more fucking... New stuff, of course.

Yeah, shoot some ammo. Damn, I never thought about the Nancy joke. That's sick. Discovering old sexism. I never heard about the Nancy joke. That's sick. Discovering old sexism. I never heard this one. Ravel tweeted how valuable that was for Tampax. No, damn. Who did he give it to?

Justin Thomas. Still the best Ravel is the Chilean miners that were stuck in the bottom of the earth. And one of them was wearing Oakleys when he came out. Yeah. And he was like, this is huge for Oakleys. I don't know why a miner would need sunglasses. No, right?

They're the furthest from the sun. What was he doing? Maybe it's for when they come out. Yeah, you're right. Holy shit. You're absolutely right. Finally. Yeah.

Just to put them on. That's going to hurt hurt the eyes Fucking Ravel What a weirdo That guy's a weirdo What's up, Ron? Dude, I've missed you guys It's been a long four days I know

I miss you guys I keep on thinking I hadn't seen you guys since the Super Bowl Well, I hadn't seen you guys since Tuesday I guess, yeah It does feel like a long time

Yeah, how was your vacation it was good it was very good did you feel rested or what what was it like for you uh it was very rest actually it was uh so restful i turned down so i was in the bahamas and i guess the place where it was like this resort but it was like three different hotels a lot of families there was a water park i got absolutely fucking owned by some kids at the water park, which sucked, but whatever. They were like, I was up on this slide, and there was two options, one more dangerous than the other,

and I was like, I want to do the lesser one, and these 10-year-olds, there was like eight of them were like, dude, we've been doing it all day. Why wouldn't you do this one? Please let me fucking. I also, because my wife's pregnant, she can't go on water slides, which makes sense, doing it all day why wouldn't you do this one right yeah please let me fucking i also as my wife's pregnant she can't go on water slides just makes sense but there was one that you needed two people and i went all the way up and they were like yeah you need two people and i had to walk

all the way down i'm glad you said that because now i know that there are there are some water slide babies yes that i know yeah victim of mothers who went down too many times. Yeah, yes, definitely. It's a different type than fetal alcohol syndrome. Yes. It's not lead paint. It's not fetal alcohol. It's water slide.

Yeah. And then there was another where I went up and it was like a raft with five, so I just had to go down with a random family. Oh, man. That was also awkward. So yeah, my water slides were on, but what I was going to go down with a random family. Oh, man. That was also awkward. So yeah, my water slides were on, but what I was going to say was,

I was just chilling. I did nothing. I slept for 12 hours a day. It was awesome. Joe Gorgo was at the same resort. Shut up. And he invited me to come party at the club, and I was like, I don't think so, dude.

Yeah, you're not trying to do that on a family vacation. Yeah, Joe Gorgo was there. And so was his brother-in-law that he clashes with. And so was his brother-in-law at that same place. Yes. Crazy. I was just watching the, oh my gosh, the previews for the next episode. They're about to go crazy.

He's slapping the table. He's slamming silverware. Calls him a bad seed. But then they're there in the Bahamas getting along. You were there. Holy shit. I was there. It's all for show.

We partied. Didn't party. That was smart. That's all for show. We partied. Didn't party. That was smart. That was probably smart. Where'd you see him at? The water slide? I saw one of his friends, and his friend, maybe the worst pitch of all time, was like, dude, we're huge fans.

We're in from South Florida. You want to party with us? And I was like, no. And then his friend told Joe and Joe texted me and was like hey we're here um but yeah it was very low-key I actually Stephen Che would be very jealous and hopefully he's listening to this right now I walked in the first day and was waiting for my hotel room and in walks Kyle Rudolph who is a longtime stoolie. So we went on a double date, his wife and my wife, and the two of us, we went on a double date on Friday night, and all we talked about was Brady.

So Stephen Che and the Bucs. I got all the Bucs in town. Oh, man. I'm not saying nothing. No, you got to say something. You got to give us a little something. Nothing. Just something he said about Brady.

Nothing. No, because Stephen's listening right now. I'm going to hold that over. He told me all about the inner work a little something. Nothing. Just something he said about Brady. Nothing. No, because Steven's listening right now. I'm going to hold that over. He told me all about the inner workings, everything. Holy. And I ain't saying a word. Is he coming back? I ain't saying a word, Sass.

Man. Look into my eyes. See the answer? I saw it. Yep. So he's coming back. Tell me, Sass. Fuck, dude.

Oh, don't tell him anyone. I just told you the answer. Yeah, it was good. It was good. Brady coming back. I ain't saying anything. Fuck, dude. Oh, don't tell him anyone. I just told you the answer. Yeah, it was good. Brady's back. What were you drinking the whole time? Nothing. I had a couple beers. Yeah?

But I was very, like, sleeping. Relaxing? I would basically just sleep all night, get up, go by the pool, then sleep by the pool, go out to dinner, sleep some more. I feel like that's the only place you could drink rum on a vacation. Yeah. Every other place, rum sucks so bad. Yeah.

It's gross. But it was nice. It was a good recharge. Hell yeah. Was Juan Dixon down there? No. Chris Middleton was. I don't know where the fuck he's been.

He wasn't at the Arhop reunion. Juan Dixon's in trouble. Yeah, because that's why he wasn't at the Arhop. He wasn't at the Arhop reunion. Juan Dixon's in trouble. Yeah, because that's why he wasn't at the Arhop. He wasn't at the Potomac reunion. I saw Chris Middleton. I gave him a fist pound. I said, I love your game. I feel like that's a...

Nice thing to say. Basketball player. Yeah. I like big fan. Just be like, I love your game. Wait. Was he an all-star? No, he wasn't.

He's been hurt. At one point, he was. He was. He is an all-star uh no he wasn't he's been hurt at one point he was he was he was an all-star caliber player yeah learning you know who i was i just said i love your game but it's like that was a primo vacation weekend because why were there so many famous people all the football people are off their season all the basketball players are on break for the all-star game i have no idea i guess there's there's two places in the bahamas the atlantis and the place i stayed the bahamar i guess it's like the place a lot like but it's weird because it was a it was almost like a cruise ship on land because it was a casino and there was three hotels there's a shitload of

people yeah but yeah it was weird how many like i sat eric spolstra sat next to me for dinner one night damn i don't know Yeah it was weird And then I had like It was funny seeing all these people And then I had one night I was at dinner And a dude was sitting like

Maybe where Kate is And he just Kept on interrupting My dinner To talk about the Eagles Like in the Hell yeah I sat down

He was like What's up big cat Like sorry about the Eagles And then Like maybe 20 minutes later While I'm eating, he's like, dude, that Eagles bet was so close. I was like, wait, what? He picked up the conversation like we were still talking. I like that.

Yeah. That's a Philly guy. Yeah. That's a Philly guy right there. I respect it. You guys see the chicklets guy that was at their meet and greet? The GM? That guy.

Or the fake GM? Yeah, fake GM. He's the man. Yeah. I didn't see that. Some guy pretended to be the GM at the bar for this meet and greet with the Barstool people. And then with the bar people, he pretended to be part of the Barstool crew. So he was just running shit.

Yeah. He ran the thing. He ran the meet and greet. He ran the whole thing expertly, too. It was the most efficient meet and greet they've ever had. This guy flew. He's a fan. He flew from Long Island to do this.

He definitely started that as a bit and then just got way too ropey. We couldn't believe it was working. Wait, when did they figure it out? At the end of the meet and greet. He was just like, surprise. Fessed up to Grinnelli in the bathroom. Can they even be mad at him, though? I don't think so.

That's so awesome. So awesome. There's a dude outside right now. Has anyone seen him? No. He's quite something. He stopped me on the street and was like, Dave quote treated me a month ago,

and it got like a million views, and I thought I'd come by and see. See the office? Do something about it. I'm here to collect my job. I was like I thought he was going to stab me. He said he was Rico's cousin. I was like sure. I met him. I met him with you KB. Outside?

It was probably another cousin. He's got a lot of cousins. I was with you when that happened. I met Rico's cousins at the Barstool Chicago office. He's got a lot of cousins. He's got a lot of cousins. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was with you when that happened. Yeah. I met Rico's cousins at the Barstool Chicago office. He's got a lot of cousins. Okay. That's Tom Lee's cousin. Tom Lee, yeah, Tom Lee.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, Tom Lee. He does have a gang of cousins. He's got a gang of cousins? Yes, yes. I didn't even know that. Yeah, yeah. Oh, that was one of the funny, like, we had the Rico saga going for years, and Tom Lee

was like, you know that's my cousin. We're like, what? That's crazy. We met some kid. He was young. Yeah. Who said he was his cousin. Yeah.

Cousins everywhere. Yeah. Fucking Rico. Brandon, why don't you do a high noon ad, and let's get into the funniest Travis's. I can do a high noon ad. It's delicious. It's a great drink. It's awesome.

It's a hard seltzer made with real vodka, real juice, and sparkling water, not malts like those other stinking-ass hard seltzers. They now have big cans, which is 700 milliliters of peach and pineapple, so you can get the tall boys of peach and pineapple. Peach, one of the more popular flavors. Pineapple, I guess, does well, too. My favorite flavor is the peach. I also like the lime.

Ron, what are you looking at just you man i'm just watching a great put up uh some fucking points on the scoreboard right now shots up right now that's all i'm doing you're smooth with it though i like the grapefruit their full-time flavors are pineapple black cherry watermelon grapefruit lime peach mango passion fruit and lemon but if you want their limited edition flavors like pear and cranberry you can find the tailgate pack in in your stores that you buy high noon at or you want their limited edition flavors like pear and cranberry, you can find the tailgate pack in your stores that you buy high noon at. Or you want the pool pack for the kiwi and the guava, look for high noon on Drizzly or your local convenience or liquor store. Or visit highnoonspirits.com to find it near you. And again, pretty much any bar you go to in this country right now, you can get high noon.

It's flowing like wine. Like High Noon. Salmon of Capistrano. Thank you for getting the reference. Too young. Don't tell me where I am, brother. You didn't get the reference. She got the reference. What movie is it?

One of my favorites. Won't tell you. I can figure it out. Flowing like wine, like the salmon of Capistrano. Step Brothers? No. Someplace warm, like wine, like the salmon of Capistrano. Is that Step Brothers? No. Someplace warm, like Aspen? No. Oh, Dumb and Dumber.

I don't know, Lloyd. The French are assholes. You think I've never seen Dumb and Dumber? I didn't get the reference. I didn't get the reference because I haven't seen the movie a lot, but I've seen the movie. Are you redone with the high noon? High noon is delicious. Can you read Stephen Chay's text to me?

He's listening. Fuck... Fuck... Yeah. Can you read Stephen Chay's text to me? He's listening. Fuck. Fuck. Yeah. At first I thought it said... You ain't getting anything, Stephen. That many F's and that many G's, I thought he was saying something different. Yeah. I thought that he was...

I was like, Stephen... I'm basically a member of the front office of the Bucks now, with all I know. Damn. He ain't getting anything. You're a Stephen Trapp. We have a whole lunch tomorrow, and he's not getting any of it. You got to dangle that shit over here. Oh, yeah.

You tell Nate. Oh, I will tell Nate. Tell Nate everything. Yeah, I'm going to tell Nate everything. Pass notes at lunch. Yeah. Are you excited for that lunch? At this point, no.

Yeah. No, I mean, it's your idea. It's your punishment. At this point, I'm not even excited anymore. And I thought it was going to be a good thing, and it's turned into a punishment. Yep. At this point, it is actually a punishment. And yeah, I'm not really—

It's like a chore. Yeah. Having to leave the office. Leave the office. Dress up. Go sit at a lunch for like three hours. It's lunch. It's not even dinner.

It's like the day is done. That sucks. Right. People load. It costs like $3,000. It's early, right? Yeah. That's lunch. It's not even dinner. It's like the day is done. That sucks. Right. That is awful. And it's also Stephen just untaps. I'm way more nervous about having lunch with Stephen than Nate.

Oh yeah. Oh man. I guess we should document it somehow. We're not supposed to. A lot of it will be content. It's not allowed to be content. It's not allowed to be content. It's supposed to be male friendship. When do we make that rule?

I just said it and everybody agreed. We'll do a recap of the lunch on Wednesday. Earth Thursday. Nah. We'll never talk about it. All right, let's do it. So we got, Rowan, we have 32 Travises. Oh, wow.

Great work, TJ. That's big doctrine. We're going to go from 32 to 10, or 8. And then when we get to 8 on Friday, we're going to have them all join on Zoom and then just kick them off one by one to their face. Maybe we could have them numbered. We'll send them their number, their name, and then we'll text TJ what number to eliminate. Yeah, and the way I envision it on Friday, we should just have a regular yak and then every now

and then be like, what do you think, Travis's? Yeah. And just listen to them try to jump over each other and just be like, no, you're out. Because you'll be cut if you don't talk. Right. You'll be cut if you talk too much. Right. Exactly.

Very tricky. Ball's in your court, Trav. All right. Let's go, TJ. So how do we vote? All right. So this is bad, right? This is bad.

If they aren't funny. If they're Travis, that means they're not funny. So if there's four Travis's on any person, they're out. I think the grand prize ultimately will be a new name. Yeah. We'll give you a new name. We'll fund it. Yeah, I will pay for any of the paperwork.

Change your name. Something that these guys have probably dreamed about all their lives. So what is a name where you're like, that's a funny person? Bozo? Trav? That's Bozo would be funny. You're a funny guy. You've got to get the proper name.

Chuckle? Chuckle is good. Equanimous? Ronald's not bad. Ooh, Ronald's good. Yeah. That's a funny guy name. Ronald Ronnie. Yeah. Ronald's not bad. Ooh, Ronald's good. Yeah. Funny guy name. Ronald Ronnie.

Yeah. Yeah. Alright, so we'll make the Travis Ronald. I think, well, yeah. Yeah, you win the Ronald. You become a Ronald. I like that. Actually, they might drop out. Is Ronald such a goofier name? Go by Ron though, too. Yeah. Ronnie.

People ask what your real name is, you have to say Ronald. No, I think you don't immediately think Ronald McDonald. What's the other McDonald characters? Grimace? Grimace? Hamburger? Were they funny? Fry Kid?

Mayor McCheese? Mayor McCheese probably was. I forgot that there was like 10 of them. And I don't think he was funny. What's the funniest name? What do you mean Ronald McDonald wasn't funny? He's fucking hilarious. Right.

Come on. One of the funniest. Probably my favorite comedian. Yeah. His early stuff, not his late stuff. No, his late stuff sucks. You know what? I didn't know that that was like a whole like, there's like theories that like the whole

Ronald McDonald on the benches was like a plot to like get it so that homeless people couldn't sit on those benches. Really? Couldn't sleep on them. They had to change his sitting posture at our Elm Grove location. We would molest him. Yeah, you'd molest him. He had to cross his legs.

Carter Hoffman did it. He would like make out with the... He genuinely made out. Yeah. Put a mask on him. We would walk there after school on Fridays and we'd gather around the statue and molest it.

And all molested. We'd get in the single file line and take turns molesting. He had like two fingers out like this like beckoning you in and you'd just like put your, you'd put your asshole

around his fingers. That's what we would do. We would just get, we would rotate molesting him. Wait, so they actually changed it? Yeah. That's so funny.

They got a new one with his arms crossed. That's like a cool guy getting head position. Carter Hoffman, was he cool? No. Sounds cool.

No, Carter, yeah. He despises that I do this with him on. Yeah, I bumped into him when I was home for a funeral and it was really awkward because it was like sad yet he was

just like you stop doing that like I don't know man you did it to yourself poor mom hates it we should name the new Travis Carter Huffman that's a funny name he was the funny guy

that's a big come up whoever wins this gets to be Carter Huffman and then that way the real Carter Huffman won't be upset anymore That's a come up. That's a big come up. That's a huge come up. All right, whoever wins this gets to be Carter Hoffman. And then that way the real Carter Hoffman won't be upset anymore because we'll be talking about the new Carter Hoffman. He's going to hate today. I don't even know his number. H-U-F-F-M-A-N? Yeah.

What a name. That's a great name. The whole family's funny. Maybe just name him Hoffman. Yeah. Yeah. Hoffman. Travis Hoffman. Yeah. Yeah. Huffman. Travis Huffman.

The Huffman. Travis Huffman. I feel like we've got to ditch the Travis. We've got to ditch Travis. Yeah, it's Carter Huffman. He's Carter Huffman now. Carter Huffman II. Yeah.

No relation to the first. That's good. How about Carter T. Huffman as a nod? Yeah. To Travis? Yeah, but it's T. is his official middle name. Yep. T.

Carter T. Huffman. What does the T stand for's T. is his official middle name. Yeah, yeah, yeah. T. Carter T. Huffman. Or maybe even T-E-E. Yeah, that's fine. C.T. Huffman. Like Homer J. Simpson. All right, so yeah, Funniest Travis wins Carter Huffman. Yep. Carter Huffman award.

Okay. We got it. He's going to text you. Hopefully. Maybe we can have him call in when we name the funniest Travis, and he can pass his name on. Yeah, I'll tell him. Maybe he becomes Travis.

Travis Huffman sounds like a sick BMX rider. Oh, yeah. Yes. That is good. Yeah. All right, TJ, just hop into it, I guess. Okay, so these go in order of earliest submission to most recent submission. Okay. So first we have a guy that submitted at 2.07 p.m. during the episode that we were talking about this.

Wow. And his name is Andrew. Oh, well, then we can't. Andrew Peterson? Yep. He said his name's not Travis, but he's always felt out of place ever since this contest has begun, which was like five minutes before this email was sent. He's felt normal again, like this is something he needs to be a part of.

His middle name is Michael, if that helps. All right. I say no. No. Wait, is that it? That was his submission? Yeah, that's it. Oh, yeah.

All right. Hard now. Easy. He waits for speed. Unanimous Travis. Nice try. Nice try. Hey, you've got to be Hard now. Easy. He waits for speed. Unanimous Travis. Nice try. Nice try. Hey, you've got to be more cutthroat.

No compliments for that. You can tell he hasn't lived the life of a Travis. No. No. Too hopeful. Yeah. He's appropriating Travis culture. Right.

So Travis would never submit that early. No. Definitely not. Travis submits tomorrow. Although I guess ironically we gave him what he wanted because we just named him Travis. What was Travis like of him? Okay, next. That was easy.

Next up is Trent Martin. Okay. Can we just only Travis? Who put his whole phone number in his email, but I censored it. Kyle, call him. I kind of like this guy. Why? Should we consider him? No, my name's Trent. That close up to Travis? I. Kyle, call him. I kind of like this guy. Why? Should we consider? No, my name's Trent.

That goes up to Travis. I'm funny, I promise. He did promise. That was the same thing as Andrew. Let's call him and get him to tell us a joke. Yeah. Alright, funny man. Yeah. He did promise. You want me to call him? Hold on.

We're off to a fucking blaze. Maybe we post his number and how he handles it. That can determine if he's funny or not. The Brandon Walker effect. Yeah. And we let the people decide if he's funny. Brandon, look at your slender-ass body, dude. It really looks slimmest.

Oh, so hot. I know. Just a hot body. Look at them arms, too, bro. It really looks slim as hell. So hot. I know. Just a hot body. Look at them arms, too, bro. It makes your arms look beefy. The shade of my arms

isn't great. Yeah, what's going on there? Well, because my sleeves and Scottsdale came down to here. Oh, Scottsdale. I was wondering

what that was from. We went to the Super Bowl a couple weeks ago. Oh, did you? Yeah, we were in Scottsdale all week. We had a great time. Sick.

You would have loved it. Missed it. It was a yak thing. You and Sass would have fucking loved it. You were with all these comedians, Sass. I know. I saw. Did you see that?

Yeah, it looked fun. It was so sick. It was crazy. We had a bad set for the yak on Monday, and we just never changed it. Yeah. You did what? We mailed it in hard. We had a really bad set for the Yak. We were in the shade

and there was light behind us. It was a terrible place to do it. We just never changed. But I miss it. Let's go back. Mostly because Kate and Sass were there. Best week of my life. Solid week for me too. Just laid in bed.

Played a lot of video games. I've been playing a lot of video games hell yes yeah i've been playing a lot of video games same game same game i i've come to like my favorite things in the world are stand-up and video games so any night that i do stand up and then go home and play video games it's literally the best day of my entire life uh we have trent's number should we call trent yeah i think say you got one chance like you have it or you can either do it now or we can call... Oh, yeah, he's got one chance. Funny joke.

He said he promised. Okay, I'm worried about the nerves. I don't think he gets... He doesn't get any grace. His name's not trapped. No. It should appear as a Trent joke. Hello? Hello. Trent. Yes? Tell a Trent joke. Hello?

Trent. Yes. Tell us a joke. Or just be food. Audition. B is your mom. Shit. What did he say?

What was his joke? He just said your mom? Roast beef, your mom? A plus B equals your mom. Oh, Travis. That's a hard Travis. Travis. Now that guy has my number.

Nice try, Trent. Sorry. You failed miserably. While I was in here. How you doing? Man. Man. All in Colorado.

Looking good. Why? Oh. Oh, yeah. Why does your heart go out to him? He was so excited that week, man, seeing him. He's talking about the bet. Oh, that.

Okay. I'm never going to get over it. I'm never going to get over that. That was a legacy bet that I will never. I will. Come on down. I've thought about it many times since. So, thank you.

Need to go? I appreciate it. Any advice? Give us some advice. Need to go? I appreciate it. Any advice? Give us a message. Congratulations to your Chiefs. Congratulations to your Chiefs. Oh, yeah. I just got a flashback.

You know, Tom Ali, Christian DeCoy, Nigerian Knight. They was my team since back in the day. Yeah, I know. It's you. Wallows won back-to-back Super Bowls. I win every year. His Rams, his Chiefs. I win every year, man.

It's fucking crazy. You burnt my fucking jersey because I was going to sneak it in. So as soon as it got rough, I was going to switch out right there. You fucked the whole, like, you fucked my whole night up. Damn. That's fucked up. You can't do that. You can't do that.

No, you can't. You want to be a loser fan and keep holding on to a team that's not holding on to you? They were holding on to us. They were holding on. Every year a team. Eagles were holding on the whole game. I earned my fanship.? They were holding on to us. They were holding on. Every year a team. Eagles were holding on the whole game. I earned my fanship. Yeah.

I'm winning the chip. They got it. Chiefs. But what's the question? Give us some advice, bro. Just live. Love it. Love it.

Yes. You got to think about this shit, man. I wake up every day. I'm not mad at nobody. I ain't angry at nobody. We all need each other for this world to work. I just live every day, man. Just say, fuck it. Tomorrow, all need each other for this world to work. I just live A-Day, man. Just say, fuck it.

Tomorrow, we don't know what's going to happen. Hell yes. You might be out of this joint, man. If you want to do your thing, do it. Whatever you want to do, whatever you want to be, be that shit, man. Whatever you want to bet on, bet on it. But just if you have a problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER. I love that.

Just in case. Do you think guys named Travis can be funny? Yeah, do you know any funny Travis's? Oh, no. Yep. Yeah, all right. Perfect, perfect. That's the board.

Now, Billy, that's like funny to Reggie, but Travis sounds like you just ain't got nothing going on. Yeah, yeah. Down Bruce, you sit on the couch. Take showers going on. Yeah. Down brewskis. On the couch. Yeah. Take showers that often. Yep. You should do a motivational video for Travis.

For Travis. Hey, Travis is out there. Hey, Travis, all you Travis's out there, you got a life. You don't have to drink brewskis all day and live in your mom's couch

and be a loser. Yeah. And have them little, and have them hard socks all around your bed because you're partying them all the time. You don't have to do it, man.

Get up. Go get a real job, man. Be a real man. Stop living off your mom, man. I love it. And that applies to every Travis. That's facts. That's Travis.

Travis is just sitting at home right now being like, just saying. Like, because, you know, like, Travis is like just a regular, just like, you know, dude, you go to McDonald's and get like a Happy Meal as a grown man. Yeah. The Travenator. Travster. You got a bunch of loser friends that all hype each other up because you ain't got no life. Travster.

See you got. Travster. Boy, the fucking Happy Meal. You call him the Travenator. You're a loser too. Oh, listen, listen. We need to think of some other loser names and just make the losers like a cartoon. Yeah.

Big losers. Big losers, Travers. Listen, all they teams lose when they come in the room. They're bad luck. Yep. Your ticket go down. You're just fucked up. Like, Travis, that's a hell of a name, Travis.

Yeah. It's a brutal name. It's a terrible name. I never knew it. There's only one Travis I knew that really came up, and that was like Travis Scott. You know what I mean? He's like a big-time rapper.

But other than that, you know, the average neighborhood round, the person that live in your neighborhood that go to your school with you, he's a dude that's sitting over there, you know what I mean, doing weird stuff. Looking at his boogies and eating them. Not in a funny way. He's picking his boogies and he's eating them. In private. Not even to be funny for the class.

He's sitting at home. He's just jerking off to all the girls he went to high school on their Facebook. All day. All day. Never talks to them. He's eating hand lotion like a push pop. Come on, Travis. And his mom just knows he's a loser.

She's like, that's my baby. Yeah. I should have named him Travis. That was my mistake knows he's a loser. She's like, that's my baby. Yeah. I should have named him Travis. That was my mistake. That's what she fucked up at. Travis' dad was a loser, too. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

You talking about Big Trav? You talking about Big Trav? Big loser. Big Trav to do all day for no reason. Every time you go in there, Trav is in the bar. Yeah. Drink on me. Boring. Drinking brewskis for no reason. Boring as hell. For the bar. Yeah. He drank on me. Boring.

Drinking brewskis for no reason. Boring as hell. No reason. I've had nothing to say. This dude is drinking brewskis all day and in the bar for no reason. And they like, damn, well, how did you – like he got his pension. It's just over for him.

His life is over. Pick Trav. Every team that he like never won. Never. Ever. He wear their jerseys and shirts all the time, and they just are losers. Vikings man cave. It's perfect.

That's what we needed, bro. Thank you all. That was incredible. He nailed the essence of Travis. Nailed it. The Travenator getting his happy meal. That was real specific. He was right.

They all call him the Travster. That just cut down all the Travises. All right, TJ, next. Travis number three is Travis Verbal. Oh, real Travis. Oh, okay. And he has never listened to the show before and doesn't know who we are and would never attain the possibility of going to bat for all Travises.

He's not familiar with sports podcasts. He used to listen to Bill Simmons, but you can only listen to Ryan Russillo and Bill argue over their favorite Tom Hanks movies for so long we exist any video submission? No I'll let this guy I kind of like this guy I like this guy too

go back to this email real quick let me be clear I've never listened to your show and I have no idea who you are I would never entertain the possibility of going to bat for Travis all over the world. Out right there. He's basically saying like he agrees with us. All the

Travis's. But at no point does he think he's funny so he's not even trying to be funny for the contest. There was a little snark in there at the end. You know, listen, we've got to respect the voting process. If there's four up, he's out. All right. Come on, four up, he's out. All right. Come on, guys.

We'll never know. We'll never know. We can't let the first Travis we get win. There's better Travis's than that. We respect the voting process. If it's gut reaction, everyone. This might be a lot easier to narrow down than we thought. Yeah, we're thinking 10 out of the 30.

I think that's the joke here is we get zero. We might have done. All right, next. Okay, so next is a guy named Tavis. Oh, funny. Okay. That's a good start. Tavis Bregel?

Tavis Bregel? Tavis Bregel? Travis' contest is highly offensive. Choose a real name with a smaller universe. Travis is a name associated with mediocrity and disappointment. Signed, a guy with no birth certificate errors who's technically Travis to every new person that meets him. His name's Tavis Bagel?

I need his last name to make my ruling. Bagel. He's fine. He's in. He's in. Tavis is in. Here's why. He has to live his life as a Travis, and he's not. Everyone's like, hey, Travis. He's like, no, it's Tavis. No, it's in. Travis is in. Because here's why. He has to live his life as a Travis, and he's not. Everyone's like, hey, Travis.

He's like, no, it's Tavis. No, it's not. No, you're Travis. All right, he's in the final 10. And next. Travis number five was Travis the chimpanzee, who was submitted by Sam Krebs. Travis the chimpanzee was the chimpanzee that ripped that woman's face off. Oh, that's not funny at all.

That is funny. No, that is funny. Why are you guys all putting your signs up then? Because we're not going to. I don't want to work. I don't want to. I don't want to get my face ripped off. Yeah.

But it is funny. I will say in terms of funny things to do, ripping off the face of your owner is funny. Didn't Marty and Eddie do a documentary on this? I don't think it was his owner. Oh, it wasn't? It was an owner's friend. Oh, that's not as funny. No. Nailed it. Ripping a face off is pretty insane.

You'd think that they'd seal the faces on hard earth, that they can't just get peeled off like a band-aid. I mean, face off. Where do you start? Yeah, how does that? Forehead down? Yeah, maybe. How does that happen? Right there. You're up. Owl.

Oh, jowl. Oh, everyone has a seam right at the top of their head. What? If you cut it, it just falls off. What? What the fuck? What the fuck? Okay.

It's like opening up like an M&M wrapper. You just get it right. They're here. Yeah, there's a spot. Everyone has it. It's just tear here. Yeah. it right here. Yeah, there's a perfect spot. It's just tear here, yeah. Okay, next. Travis number

six is Hayley Hargrove and I included her because she's the only girl that submitted. I mean, I like the chick, but out. Yay, I'm just out of solidarity. I will not vote you off. Although she is kind of funny because she said women. Hayley Hargrove, get your Marvel-ass sounding name out of solidarity. I will not vote you off. Although she is kind of funny because she said women.

Billy Hargrove, get your Marvel-ass sounding name out of here. Women do like the name. Women are notoriously known for not being funny. Oh, yeah. She's smart. Isn't every woman a Travis if you think about it? Oh, shit. Is there Travis living amongst us?

We're just closeted. Travis in sheep's clothing clothing as they say. That's like if you do like a ranking class of human beings it's like everyone's name and then Travis and then women. Is there any girls

named Travis? There's gotta be. She wouldn't even be able to make me smirk. Nope. Alright, next. Travis Seven, this is the last of the very early submissions that are just throwaways, is Rene Esembre, whose friend's name is Travis, and according to them, is funny. His dark humor keeps me living a wonderful life. Why isn't he involved?

Yeah, why isn't he? And it's Galaxy. So we got one out of those. Tavis. Tavis. And Tavis Bregel. we got one out of those. Tavis. Tavis. And Tavis Bagel. Tavis Bagel. Tavis Bagel.

I think his name's Tavis Bagel. Well, the R is in the wrong word. His name is Tavis Bragel and not Travis Bagel. Yeah, Tavis Bragel. He's the leader. All right. Let's keep going then. Travis number eight is Travisvis the owl that was submitted

by aaron samick and it's this video having an owl named travis is funny travis make him wait for it oh yeah you got this travis That's an owl? Boom. Oh. Oh. I like this. I like that. I want to see it again. You got this, Travis. Wait for it. Boom. All right.

Yeah. Can we get him on Zoom? Yeah, can we get him on the- Can we get the owl on Zoom? Probably not. So is that a voiceover? Was that video- Oh.

Is there a gay guy with a- All right. So then we got to get him out gay guy with a owl named Travis? We got to get him out of here, unfortunately. We're voting against the owl? Yeah, because we can't get the owl on Zoom. I'm going to go out on a limb, and I'm going to say I bet the owl's name is not even Travis. I bet you it's not.

No, that looked like a mic. It's cool. You guys are right, but I wanted it to be named Travis. I know. I'll leave the door open If the owl can show up on Zoom We'll accept the owl On Friday

It has to answer to the name Travis It has to like Turn its head to the name Travis Or Tavis This is a Travis Tavis competition Travis 9 is There's a flag on this one Their last name is Travis

I'll take it. Take it. Caleb Travis. The K. Caleb with a K. Curiosity over how many Travis can be settled. Last name is Travis.

First name Caleb. I know I have two first names like a fucking jabroni, but I feel like I could be a good variance to Travis. Alliance, if I am needed, I'm ready to roll and go to bat for Travis

across the world. Nah. Nah. No. Oh, you're not needed. Owen's really submitting. Yeah, they're not. Again, guys, we pick the worst, funniest, funny name of all time. Yeah, and we're still on day one of submission.

We're only at two hours after the show ends. We can't be mad that Travis's didn't get over the impossibly low bar we set. They're doing the best they can. Yeah, right. Avis Bregel is killing me. Avis Bregel. Yeah, yeah. He put the R in the...

It's been making me laugh the whole time just thinking about that. Avis Bregel. Maybe that's how dry these Travis's are. Oh, fuck. All right, next. Travis number 10 is Travis Gunderson. Oh, I love that. You are so good.

He is the son of a Gunderson. Trap Door to Hell podcast, which doesn't exist anymore. That's funny as hell. This is a clip that Trap Door Groupie, who I guess is a fan of that podcast, submitted. The original video has 14 views. Okay. This is Riley's mom from Inside Out. Riley's mom.

You can go here. This guy rules. I don't have many opinions on you. This guy rules. That dino pussy. I think he's ranking the hottest hottest. All the way up here. Pixar moms maybe? Beat those cheeks down.

I believe one of these should be one of these is Dory and one of these is Dory's mom. Which one is Dory? I think this is it. Dory beat you. This podcast is done. They canceled this podcast? I also hear you're a lesbian, so we're not going to do that.

Oh, my God. On the other hand, your mom, we're going to bring that bitch up here. You're going to the A tier, ho. She's like, close the fuck off. All right. All right. No, yeah. That's the first geek.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm taking that one. Here's the issue with that one. It's not even the dude. That was submitted by somebody else. We don't know if we can get Travis Gunderson. I bet we could get him. We'd love to get Travis Gunderson.

Yeah. All right. Travis Gunderson has gone to the next level. We said you were allowed to submit another Travis. Yeah, you are. Yeah, yeah. You know him personally. So we'll try to get Travis Gunderson on Friday's show.

Wow. That'd be amazing. He's electric. We have two now. Yeah. Edge of my seat trying to figure out Gunderson on Friday's show. Wow. That'd be amazing. He's electric. We have two now. Yeah. Edge of my seat trying to figure out who Dory's mom is. You think he got canceled because he put up Dory as like a fuckable Pixar mom or something like that? Instead of Dory's mom?

Had Dory's mom higher than Dory. Mm-hmm. Which could be an age thing. So the thing he did was just a thing that we do on the act. He was just tearing. Everyone does that. Yeah. You could tell he was really thinking about himself

fucking. Yes. Right. The pause. Pause was the love of the game. That was an insertion pause. Yeah, that was. I like how he had the car from Cars. I forget what her name is. I've never seen someone include

non-woman cartoons. Cruzwoman Are you talking about Cruz Yeah it was Cruz Cruz was hot Cruz was hot Yeah that pause Said a lot He was like He was spitting on his own dick

During that pause Here we go Dory's mom He was just Closing his eyes Imagining him fucking At each one Okay Okay

Not my best fuck D tier Alright Travis Gunnarsson's To the next level So we have two so far Okay Not my best fuck D tier Alright Travis Gunnarsson's The next level So we have two so far Yeah but he has some Really stiff competition

With Travis Baker Travis number 11 Is Travis Agee A-G-E-E He also submitted A sound code link To a song called

Fat Hose Okay These guys are great So I guess if you again these are i want to vote him in already without hearing the song all right before we get things going there's one thing i need to get off my chest and if you want to disregard the the whole video because of this it's totally okay but uh it's better that you guys know. Under a post, I reaffirmed Stephen Che. And I said, you're the man, Che.

And I didn't think I'd be in this position, but. I like that he's getting ahead of it. It's not sitting right with me. It's an easy out. What did he do? This is just another skit. It's an easy out. Oh. What did he do? This is just another skit. He's gone back to the doctor. It's a skit.

One good news. Okay. Please have a different side of the face. He told me... You only have half a face? I only have about 30 days to live.

He's nice. Yeah, I just have a severe case. I'm sick with it. Oh! days to live. What the fuck is this? Yeah, I just have a severe case of sick with it. Oh! I'm trying to find the confidence in his goal for fucking Blake's mom. Proud of you, big dog. I don't care what you say.

All right. Let's just riff-raff sing. Yeah, but it sounds like you fucked Blake's mom, which is hilarious. Because Blake's mom's ugly as fuck. All right. I hated him on the Stephen Che part. I'm going to keep my vote up.

I think we need something like this for the competition. Yeah, I like it. There's only three. I don't think it looks good. He's keeping them in. He's in the next one. Only got three. Only got three. All right. I don't think it was good. He's gone. Keeping him in. He's in the next one. Only got three. Only got three.

All right. I liked the Stephen Che part. Didn't like the second part. Did not like the second part. Oh, I was reversed. I hated the Stephen Che part. Because he did reaffirm him. But I liked the riffraff part.

But he wasn't in that. But his name was. If he was the Travis that paid for that cameo. Did he submit that? Did he pay for that cameo? I'd assume so. I'd like that, yeah. Unless Blake's mom paid for the cameo.

Yeah. That would have been a way of confessing. Yes. She sent it to Blake. All right, so we have three Travis. The next Travis's last name is redacted because he had this weird legal disclaimer at the bottom of his email.

But he did submit a bunch of this shit. A few facts about me. Kate's a Marine, so I think she may like the following bullet points. My name is, in fact, Travis. Middle name is Arthur, which may be funnier. I have rocked Nike Elites in the past. I was named after my parents' wedding song, which was sung by Randy Travis. Well, that's nice.

That's cute. All right. I've experienced smut and eggs, and I'm from Wisconsin. Ask Big Cat if he needs a vacation. There's a breakfast place in Madison that just played hardcore porn. Huh. Like, hardcore porn. Smut and eggs?

Soundtrack? No, on all the fucking videos. Late at night, you go eat eggs at like four in the morning, and it was just like double teams, airtight, everything. What is airtight? No holes, baby. Oh, shit. I had no idea what that was.

Just making the chick airtight. Never heard that before. Airtight. That's really funny. You got to give the chick that. That Never heard that before. Airtight. That's really funny. That's dick and pussy. That's dick and pussy. Mouth, butt, ear, ear. And nose.

A lot of dory. No oxygen. Son, no oxygen in that life. He's sealed up. All right. Yeah, he's in. All the live Hamlin. Smutton eggs.

Demar Hamlin. No oxygen. We'll be at listener since day one. I have a dog named Stella that resembles Big Cat's dogs, so I have a ton of stickers. I have an irrational fear. I don't have an irrational fear of mice. I just don't like mice crawling around my house. That sounds like it's rational.

I'm not irrational. That's rational. That's crazy. I could beat Brandon in trivia. Yeah, I didn't. Oh, I thought it was rational. That's crazy science. I could beat Brandon in trivia. Yeah, I didn't know. I thought it was... I thought she says Brandon. I thought that said in Travis.

I... I... I think you could demolish any of us in a case. Okay, I'm going to throw out maybe an asterisk here. I think we should keep him on Friday's show and have Jeff create like a three-round trivia of Brandon versus him. If he beats Brandon, he can stay.

Alright, he's a sidecom. Yeah, right. We're giving him a tryout. If he can in fact beat you in trivia, that means that everything else is confirmed. Seems likable. Seems like a likable guy. Perfect. Next.

Travis 13 is Travis Yewell, and he submitted this time that Trent retweeted him. Okay, that's cool. Wait, I'm gonna... He just retweeted... An album of his best tweets from 2016

to 2019. He has a screenshot of a tweet with no likes. They all have no likes. Wait, can we see? At this point, I'm pretty sure they don't even sell bras in Brooklyn. That's a banger. Want to be a dozen the airplane pretzels

cool. All right, yeah. Keep going. It's a safe bet that in a two-piece cobalt suit and saddle leather shoes has an active pinch. This guy was just firing. It's not from the Bible.

Chicago West sounds like a show that comes on after The Voice. That's funny. And that got a retweet too. He's going back to 2017. Ways but for Costco? What does that even mean? All right, I actually... Wait, wait, ways but for that...

Ways but for Costco got me back in. I'm back in, I'm back in. She only submitted that. She only submitted that. It was just an email that said ways but for Costco. Oh, I'm back in. I'm taking down my sign. Explain that.

I don't... How does that work? It's genius. You go to Costco, you don't know where to get your stuff. Oh, I just thought it was nonsense. No. What else do we got? You go and you pull up the Waze app when you're in Costco.

So if you're looking for cheese balls, it tells you where to go. Or if there's a fucking, you know, a traffic jam outside. I think I'm in on this guy, too. If you're looking for cheese balls, the little smokies, you stay away. I'm in on him. Ways for, I just want to see. Okay, tell me the pessimist thing, because that one I can't even, I don't even know what the sentence means.

Pushing Mongo is when you skateboard, but your foot is on the back of the board instead of the front. That's pushing. But if you're skating switch, that's how you do it. It's a good tweet. Sam Darnold pushes Mongo. I think y'all have just let three Travises in a row. You guys are letting too many Travises in. You guys you do it. It's a good tweet. Sam Darnold pushes Mongo. I think y'all have just let three Travises in a row. You guys are letting too many Travises in.

You guys can do it. The Waze McCosko has me all the way back here. Show me one more tweet. I'd say this guy over the previous guy. The last guy didn't say a funny. Well, that guy doesn't have a tryout. He wasn't even trying to be funny. He has a tryout.

He's not officially in the finals. I'll say this Travis has been trying to be funny for a long time. Rowan's right. There's something. He's not, and he's so Travis. finals. This Travis has been trying to be funny for a long time. There's something about him. And he's so Travis. What if he comes to Barstool and starts getting massive retweets and it's just like the fans

are just eating up shit that was going on. Sorry, how do we make someone in a Range Rover okay with eating at a buffet? Whole Foods is fancy. Wait, but did Whole Foods say that? Oh, I get it. That's what he's saying. That's what Whole Foods is fancy. Wait, but did Whole Foods say that, Cole? Oh, I get it. No, I don't think actually.

That's what he's saying. He's saying that's... Right, that's what Whole Foods... They have rich people just come eat their buffet. Right, okay. Got it. Freddie Prince Jr. I don't know why I'm having such a hard time reading all of these.

Like, he's like wording the text. It's a difficult read. The way he writes, why is everyone driving like I'm not? I want to see Mac DeMarco, but I also don't want to be in the room. Roast Battle was on the Food Network? All right, that pushed me over the edge.

You're Travis-ing him? He's trying. I feel like he might be one of the four. All right, he's off. He's off. That's four. might be one of four. All right, he's off. He's off. That's four. My initial read was he was bad, but wait for Costco. We're searching for the funniest.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think we might. Again, they're not going to be funny. I think we're going to look back and be like, he was the best one. Yeah, he's good. I retract my vote. And we voted him off. He was the funniest.

Wait, wait. Yeah, I retract mine. He's going to horny Batman us. Listen, the best part about a competition that we created out of thin air is we can change the rules. Yes. He go back. Should we review the Travis's we have so far? This might be a two-part episode, by the way, because I do have to leave at 2.30, so we might have to just continue.

Okay. It'll be Travis week. That guy's in, though, because she retracted hers, he retracted his. All right, he's in. He's in. All right. I mean, I don't That guy's in, though, because she retracted hers. He retracted his. All right. He's in. He's in. All right. I mean, I don't know if we're going to get better or worse from here.

Who knows? All right. He's in. Well, I guess it is to whittle him down. So eventually, we come back around. We're going off of Travis Cliff. TJ, do you have an idea if they get better? There's one in here that I think is really good.

One. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. We're going to all vote that one off for sure. Yeah, probably. All right.

Next up is Mike P. Waite, who said, my friend Travis, and then just said, JK, fuck you. Okay. Oh, fuck. Got my goose. All right. We got to get him off. Damn, that was a good burn. Yeah, but don't disrespect the competition. Yeah.

Yeah, but he got us, because I- I'm on the next one. Yeah, I got got there. Hand up, I got got. I didn't like that. Mike P. Waite, and then he said, JK, fuck you. Yeah, I was...

He got me. He had me at Mike, and then he lost me. Yeah, right. Yeah, he got me. I was ready to read it. All right, next. Next up is Travis Wilhoite, who submitted a picture of his driver's license,

and then also this video. Here we go. This is Travis. Five views. He's damp. He looks like the other Travis. Travis ass head. With a beard.

Hey, guys. Card carrying Travis here. I wanted to show you around my house a little bit. All right. First thing we got here, this is the masturbation station. Off and on is the Mincy unboxing videos. Next, we have where the magic happens. Oh, no.

Oh, no. The bathroom. And last but not least, we have the Guitar Hero guitar. Fuck yes. This is Liam Puss. Hi. Getting my vote I love him

That's the baseline Travis That's Travis He's replacement level Travis He is I like him Thanks Travis I get that he's self deprecating a little bit Oh for sure

I like that Masturbation Didn't dislike him as a person self-deprecating a little bit. Oh, for sure. I like that. But he also is a loser. He disliked him. That was rhymes, yeah. Didn't dislike him as a person. Oh, not at all. All that Wallows stuff that he was saying.

Yeah. Yeah, kind of. Did you see the Happy Meal box? Oh, yeah. I was thinking the whole time. I was like, that's where he eats his Happy Meals. Eats his boogers. The Travenator. He had a booger on his lip, it looked like.

Yeah. A fresh booger. Nice try, Travis. Oh, boogers are done. I don't like people thinking this competition's a joke. No. Right. He could see it.

No, no, Travis is... You tried to vote him in? Yeah, I liked... I guess I'm going off... It's not about like, it's not about emotion. I guess I like all these Travis's. I think they seem like nice guys, but they're not funny, right? Okay.

Yeah, he's a Travis that knows we're making fun of Travis's. Right. We want an authentic Travis. I like the tweeter Travis was really trying. I like that. Yeah, well, he's in. He's in, okay. All right, I'll recalibrate.

Yeah, that's a Travis that isn't self-deprecating. He's just being Travis, and it's not working. Yeah. I like my Travis at zero retweets one like well he's a solid travis okay next up is uh travis van warmer who uh who just did an email but i thought at the end this was kind of funny where he roasted you guys. Oh. All right. Taz, read that.

All right. Travis here. Worst common name to have moments after introducing yourself. You get called Trevor, Taylor, or Tyreek. Really? That's funny. That's funny. We are a few people, but not a very proud people. I've met one other Travis in my life, hated myself for sharing his name.

We're such a sad people that identify more with celebrities I share a birthday with than my own name can. Although us Travis's are miserable, we refuse to be shamed by a group with the names of Kate, Nick, Thomas, Dan, Kyle, Adam, and Harry. Sounds like a crew that you would find on the Mayflower. Even their man from the Far East is named Steven. He's in. He's in. Well written. Man from the Far East is named Stephen. He's in. Well written.

Man from the Far East. That's funny. That's fucking great. It is true. Yeah, that is. He nailed us. That's good. All right.

Our Asian is Stephen. All right. Travis Van Warmer. Yeah. Okay. But let's not pretend it's hilarious. Oh, no. He's still a butt trap

And did you see how low We had to set the bar To be like Yeah yeah yeah You just had to point out Something we never realized I think that's funny Yeah

Alright He's in Yeah his name is Steven Yeah fuck You're right Okay next up is Travis Miranda Okay Who Who I know Unless it's spelled The A He said I'm Travis Okay next up is Travis Miranda Okay

Who Who I know Unless it's spelled The A He said I'm Travis Had to wait until I got home To throw the yak shirt on I'll try and film something

To save me a spot He did not film something That's so Travis Father of two He did just send this selfie I mean that selfie though Is pretty Yeah that's

Voting him off And I like his email subject just being, I'm Travis. Do you think that was the first picture he took? Or do you think he did multiple shots of that photo? That needs to be the first one we took. I like him, but I... I'd like to imagine he did that like 15 times. That's four.

Sorry, Travis. He just didn't even try to do anything funny, really. Right. He also promised something he didn't deliver. He promised... A father't deliver. He promised. A father of two. He's a busy guy. Although, I will say, in defense of him, California makes the cream of the crop, Travis's.

Oh, yeah. That is straight off the mountainside. Fresh from the tap, Travis. It's hard to be funny in California, too. Yeah. Right. What's there to joke about? Nothing.

Beautiful weather. The women, the weed Yeah Next up is Travis Jordan Who, there's a flag on this one Because he appears to go by the name Camden Oh no But his name is Travis

He chose a worse name I like the highlight tape This is two minutes of the five and a half minute video That he submitted So if you want more I could pull up the full, I guess. Five and a half minutes. Looks like he's got a Travis crew.

At all the same person? He's very Travis. Oh, this is a Travis hangout. Here's your host. Here's your host. What the fuck, guys? Oh, yeah. Is that him? Oh, yeah. Do I hear a motocross bike? Oh, yeah. Is that him?

Oh, yeah. Do I hear a motocross bike? Snowmobile. Perfect. Oh, this guy is so peak Travis. This is exactly what Waller described. Yes. Yes.

That's awesome. I've seen enough. He's in. This is exactly who we envisioned when we made this competition. This, that's awesome. Oh, he needs to. I've seen enough. He's in. This is exactly who we envisioned when we made this competition. This is what we wanted. This is what we wanted. What's up, motherfucker? Watch the rest of the video ever.

One more minute. A little more. A little more. I'd like to see more. Holy shit. Snow on my ass crack? Snow in my fucking jacket? Yeah.

This guy looks like he has a black. Can we go to him? I just popped into the chat just to see what the reaction was. The first comment I saw was, is this Russian CCTV? The next comment was, I don't understand what's happening. That's perfectly some. He's got a Red Bull sticker. And Oakley.

Oh, this guy is so awesome. Exactly who I wanted. He might be King Travis. Oh. Yes. What a Travis face. Yep, yep. He looks like he's living the dream.

Just snowmobiling all day. It almost looked like a parody of Travis's. I know. Yum, yum, yum, yum. Damn, dude. Okay, he's in. Obviously in. Right.

All right. Next up is Travis Russell. I don't know how I can come down from that, Travis. That guy was so high right now. It was. I want to snort that, Travis. Yeah. Oh, wait a minute.

We're on a hot streak, boys. Good start. I'm Travis Russell, and I'm auditioning for Barstool Yak's Funniest Travis Awards. Proof. My government ID. Please blur whatever is necessary. Why do they think that was required? We did get a lot of nods.

That was our only rule. Oh yes, yes. Bangladesh? I don't even know Ladesh. You know, I hate that R.I.P. means you die. I'm with you guys. I want to rest in peace sometimes, but I don't want to fucking die. Anybody see that movie Uncut Gems? Y'all seen it? Dude, I saw it recently. I was was so upset I didn't see one single

uncircumcised penis Oh who remembers girls gone wild well yeah well times my right shit I remember watching that I used to be able to just like bust a nut like that nowadays there's not at least two midgets, a butt plug, and a taser. I can't even get hard. Fellas, you know when you put like a condom on your dick, and it's like, alright, that's it.

See ya, Travis. You're out. I have to say, unfortunately, it's the fact that he followed the other Travis. Bangladesh was a good judge. I was going to say, unfortunately, it's the fact that he followed the other Travis. Yeah. Bangladesh was a good joke. Yeah, Bangladesh was a good joke.

Great start. You should have encored that one. I liked him. I liked him. He was getting uncomfortable because I started to, I didn't know if he was being, like doing satire or not. Right. Are you going to steal some of those jokes?

All of them. All right, next Travis. You put a condom on your hard dick. Hurry on, TJ. This is 20 out of 32. We're flying through these Travis's. This is Travis Moore. What's up, TJ?

As you can hope, it's Travis. And I'm from Kentucky. I'm 32 years old. What is that? What's that t-shirt? I named after my grandmother. Her maiden name was Travis. She couldn't get married fast enough to get rid of the name Travis. I have two kids.

One on the way to another boy. Same due date. June, like Big Cat. None of them have been or will be named Travis because I haven't found one I hate enough yet. He's so unfunny.

I'm a diabetic. Alright, alright, alright. Clip that. You just leave it so stupid, Nick. I'm a diabetic. Diabetic. All right. All right. All right. Clip that. Yeah. You just leave it so stupid, Nick. Diabetic. All right.

Wait, did he say, pause it. Did he say his grandmother's maiden name was Travis? Yes. He's also named Travis, though. His name is Travis Moore. He showed us. But he comes from a line of Travis's, and he's Travis himself. That's Pete Travis. He's in because. But he comes from a line of Travis's and he's Travis himself. That's Pete Travis. He's in because of the diabetes.

Yeah. I didn't know he had that. That was so fucking funny. I am a diabetic. Alright, he's in. How many have you got in? This is 21. How many are in though?

1, 2, 3, 4, two, three, four, five, six. Oh, no. Seven. We already have seven. And then the owl and then the audition. Okay. It is tracking okay. We're okay.

How many are we trying to get? 10. Okay. Next up is Cliff Meyer, who is- Do we want to have somebody designated as the Travis in 2007? Okay.

Do we want to have somebody designated as the if a better Travis comes along they're knocked out? Again, I think we created this

We'll make it work. We could do whatever the fuck we want. No one else is doing the funniest Travis competition. There are no rules. They'll definitely be doing this. Dude, Dew Perfect did it three years ago.

That was 90 million. Yeah. Next up is Trevor Gilbertson. See ya. What's up, TV? My name's Trevor. That's right. It's not Travis.

Next. But I've been called Travis enough. Oh, let's hear him out. I mean, come on, guys. We can't have a Trevor. We've already bent the rules with Tavis. Tavis Bagel, though.

Tavis Bagel. You said yes to everyone. Oh, yeah. Kate wants to fuck them all. My secret fetish is out. Yes. Oh yeah. Kate wants to fuck them all. My secret fetish is out. It's Travis's. Travis's. Not even Trevor's as

well. That snowboarding house or a snowmobile house. That looks sick. There's definitely one chick there too. Oh yeah.

There's 15 dudes and one guy has a girlfriend. Yeah. That's how it always works. Always works. And they all like few of them listen while they have sex.

One of the guys banged her, like, years ago. Yeah, yeah, always. It's kind of weird, and he doesn't care, but she doesn't care, but the current boyfriend doesn't. Right, yes. When he gets drunk, he cares. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Next up is Travis Maldonado, that I would be remiss to not show you, that he also included this picture of himself. Oh man, he's in. Is he a Tongan? I think he might be. I did crop this a little bit. I think his dick or balls might have been.

Okay, okay. I like that. His name is most definitely Travis. And he's funny. Ese uno, elefante. Damn.

Sucks farts and also breaks hearts. He's the life of the party. He might be my favorite. He's the 2020 Lip Sync battle champion aboard the Carnival Horizon. And he sometimes smokes cigarettes in disguise. Yeah, he's in. He's great with kids. And let's not forget, he's very funny.

He uses his comedic charm to steal your broad. And let's not forget, he makes a mean fucking cheesecake. I like Travis. All right. He's in. If not for anything for aesthetic purposes for the show. Yeah. Yeah.

Next up is Travis Prochaska, who knows KB. Yeah. I don't know if I can. You got to recuse yourself? I don't know if I can't vote. I can't vote for this one. All right. Okay.

So, yep. It's pretty funny. This is the guy with pictures with you. Yeah. We didn't watch the video. He has a video submitted. Oh, no. I don't know about that.

This is him at a bar after Rough and Rowdy. All right, Trav. That's him. I put the music on. Oh, he's not doing anything. Oh, I like this guy. Is he about to do something? Yeah, I guess he's hit.

That's not him, though. Oh, he's the one in the hat. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Is that a in the hat. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Is that a West Virginia hat? Yeah. Oh, you know him?

I do know him, yes. Oh, hell yes. He's not funny. He was on my wrestling team. You said he wasn't funny. It's been a while. It was 10, 12 years ago. Look at all this.

Oh, no. Oh, yeah, you weren't here, Dan. What is that? Look at those lips. What is the hold? Is he, you weren't here, Dan. What is that? Look at those lips. What is the hold? Is he holding you? I don't know. No, they're both standing up.

Yeah, he's in. He's in. Yeah, he's in. All right. I didn't see anything funny in that clip. You guys can vote him out. Vote him out, then. I have him in.

I wouldn't care. Okay, next, Travis. Continue. Next, Travis. 25? Yep. Travis Calvin, who submitted the longest. Out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out, out. It's a lot. Holy shit.

There he goes like, I know that this is a lot to read. I'm not going to edit it down. Wall of text. I read it. It was your fate. Jesus Christ. Was it funny, TJ? You read it? No. Okay, yeah. We made the right choice. We're not readers. Still very likable as a human. Okay, next.

Have we hit the one that you said was really good? Yeah, it was the... Damn. Who? Have we hit the one that you said was really good? Yeah, it was the... Oh. The soloing guy. Damn. Who? The guy that did the elephant noise.

Oh, okay. All right, all right. Travis Maldonado. Travis Maldonado. Travis 26 is Travis Howley, who submitted this directly via Snapchat, I think, because his Snapchat handle was in the email. Okay.

Greg the Hammer. I don't know how i get my hair like this uh let me let me you know a little secret uh product i use straight fucking stick butter now there's sick kids in the background okay and that now he he is everything wallow described yeah that was yeah a likable oh that was, yeah. A likable. Oh, that was. Why, Kate? Because he watches the show, and that's nice. I'm keeping him.

You guys really nailed your original description of Travis. Yeah, very spot on. That's why I'm loving this. He's off. He's off. He's off. I mean, he's. He's quintessential Travis.

Yeah. Are you trying to find the quintessential Travis or the funniest Travis? Oh, the funniest Travis by design will not be funny. I think that's the payoff. We got elephant guy in our back pocket. We find the funniest Travis and he's a bore. Okay, next. Next up, this Travis put a link to Rutgers highlights in his email to get me to click on it, which works.

His name is Travis Pouch. Travis Pouch? That's just us. What the hell? Babe, I'll be right back. Oh, he's Will Compton. Oh, no. I got to go film a video real quick

Why am I already recording? Because this is what Will Compton does And everything Will Compton does is the funniest thing to ever be done I don't know how he's so funny Probably because he has a tiny dick And has to overcompensate I don't know But I gotta go make this video

What do you mean why? Because they came at me in my kind, babe. Of course they're talking about me. Big Cat said my name like 20 times. Who else would they be talking to? Babe, if I don't go fight this battle right now, the name Travis will have the same stain on it like Kyle or Karen. Do you really want to be dating a Karen?

Exactly. Let me go fight this be dating a Karen? Exactly. Let me go fight this battle roll. 12 more seconds. I'm going to see what he does. I love you too, Nick's mom. I want to see who the babe is. Oh, it's my mom. You son of a...

I said I love you too, Nick's mom. I ran out of time. God damn it. So this is tough for me. It wasn't funny. It wasn't, but it was... We have three. It was funnier than most Travis's. It wasn't funny. It wasn't, but it was... We have three. It was funnier than most Travis's.

It was creative. If one other comes up... And he doesn't look like a traditional Travis. You guys hold it. He's out. No, he's not. There's three. TJ, did you Travis?

TJ Travis. I'm keeping mine down. It was unique. All right, he's in. It was unique. All right, mine down. It was unique. All right, he's in. It was unique. All right. Next up, it's Democracy. I mean, it'll be interesting to see him.

We do have, like, a good eclectic group. Yeah. He's going to get eliminated on Friday because he's going to try to talk to him. The guy before just held a stick of butter. That guy was Travis. Next up is Travis Fenway Kozak. All right, he's in for me. I hate this guy. Oh, all All right, he's in for me. I hate this guy.

Oh, all right, he's definitely in for me. Hey, Yak. It's Travis Fenway Kozak here. First name Travis, middle name is Fenway. You guys have huge hands. People seem to think that I resemble Dave Portnoy. I seem to think that he had to have two hair transplants to look like me. But as you can see, I'm watching the yak behind me here from yesterday.

I figured I'd throw my hat in the ring. It's funny it's Travis in America. Surfboards are what keep me in. No one, he's going to be the only person that watches the yak that looks like this. You're starting to dress and act like Nick Turanian to stay relevant on the show. Nick, you buy so many Pokemon cards, you're starting to look like a Pokemon yourself. Brendan Walker, you let a guy honk your wife's tits. Not much more to say there.

I didn't let him. Big Cat, you're starting to look like a spokesperson for a CPAP machine. KB, you're getting so jacked that you're starting to somehow look much shorter. Oh, that's true. That is so true. Took a shot.

And then Sass, you're a three-beer queer. Oh, hey. He's in for me. I don't even know what he's saying. Social norm. He said I was queer? Yeah, which is damn good. I'm keeping him in just because of surfboards.

All right, he's in. All right. His middle name was Fenway? Yeah. That's funny. All right, let's go. He didn't say anything about Roan He was like, Roan, go birds, man We tried

Next up is Travis Dimes Travis Dimes Who did submit a prank call Oh, boy You said Chet? Chet Chet? Chet. Chet.

Jay. Jay. You're looking for a bottle of Bacardi. 151, specifically. 151 rum. Yep. Tech 9. What?

The Tech 9 song? 151 rum. Bottle of Bacardi. No, it's when I was a kid. What? The Tech Nines song? 150, one rum, bottle of gum. No, it's when I was a kid. They discontinued it a few years ago, so I'm looking for somebody who's got an old stock bottle in. And 50 bucks is your best offer? I mean, I pay for shipping, too, so. So you want the bottle full, right?

Should I empty it? Who is he talking to? What conversation is this? I don't understand the prank. All right, looks like he's out. He's out. I think he's doing like a Craig's house thing. Like the outfit. Also, his YouTube channel is under the name Ravis,

but I was going to cross that bridge when we got there. No. Next up is Travis DeJong, who submitted a PowerPoint. PowerPoint. PowerPoint. DeJong. PowerPoint. The fuck are you trying to do? Michael Scott.

PowerPoint. That's you're too young. Okay. Case for the funniest Travis. Is that a box? It is. Oh, is that a case? Is that the case for...

Oh, a case. Yep, it is. Can we make it so we can see it? What's he doing over there? What's he doing over there? Okay. Okay. He's not wearing pants.

He's got one leg off. Right place, right time, right music. The help of black magic. What's black magic got to do with it? I don't know. Okay, next slide. I think I have a job here. Next slide includes some wordplay.

This may help. Oh, look, a pharmacist. Yeah, that helps. Okay. Finn. All right, he's in. He's in. That was easy.

He's in. That was easy. Simple. Honestly, if he had gone like 10 slides, he's in. He's in. That was easy. That was easy. That was easy. Simple. Honestly, if he had gone like 10 slides, he would have been out. Wait, is that his too? Is that his proof? No, he's good.

He's damn good. Okay, yep, yep, yep. Here's my proof. All right, we got what, three left? Two left. Two left. We got a good crop of Travis's. Travis Maldonado is a powerhouse. Snowmobile Travis.

And Snowmobile Travis. He's going to be tough to talk over. I actually think he can win the competition by not showing up. Travis Rand. All right, Yak. At the very least, I can try and school you on some of what it means to at least be a Travis. That men's voice? Number one, Travi.

Big cat, come on. I've crunched the tape i've seen the numbers you guys use travi way too much okay if you're not our moms sleeping with us or paying us we can't be called travi i mean that's like danny danny come on big cat nicky katie sass whatever the fuck your name is all right mortal enemies trevor yeah trevor mortal enemy of travis is everywhere how trevor lawrence and travis etienne have gone along in south florida for so long oh yeah never know probably one of the greatest well he did call Jacksonville, South Florida. That's true. He is like half of the Travis's.

I'm going to keep him in. I got him in. I like the work on the sign. That's such a cute sign. I'm going to keep him in. It'll be interesting on Friday. All right, he's in. Did we vote the butter guy out? The hair butter guy?

Yeah, we did. I feel like he could be fun. No, we did. I'd rather have hair butter than... Yeah. We did. We did. I feel like he could be fun. No, we did. I'd rather have hair butter than... Last one? Yep. Last one. Submitted late last night.

Travis Gregg. This is the most Travis move last minute. Yeah. Should we just... Wait, his last name is Gregg. Should we just have him go? His last name is Gregg. We'll vote based on just me.

We shouldn't even see it. Travis Gregg. He's in. He's in. E-I-G. Yeah, he's in. Travis Gregg. Yeah. Submitted last night. He's in. Yeah, he's in. Travis Gregg. Yeah.

Submitted last night. He's in. Should we see it at least? He's already in no matter what. Yeah, let's see how bad of a mistake we made. That's a good point. Oh. That's not him.

Wait a minute. Oh, he got a cameo from Frank. Oh, da-da. Hey, Travis. Hey, Frank. I'm really excited for Funniest Travis USA. You got a second? I want to go over some material.

Let's get ready for the next season. Yes, perfect. Let's get right into it. I like this guy. So, in the original script for Breaking Bad, Walter White was not intended to be a chemist. He was supposed to be an OBGYN. It was the same concept, same plot. That's all it did.

Wait, I thought this was another cameo by Tom Cruise. Lookalike. Scraping sad. Oh. We made a mistake, but we've made that mistake. Is he trying to be Tom Cruise? I don't know. I don't think.

I think he's just brown. I don't know what it is, Travis. But, you know. Frank parts are funny. This is going to be another year of losing. So, Travis, get ready for the pain. Get ready for the heartbreak. Alright, well, it's a little too late

for plan B. I'll call you back. Hey, Travis! Hey, Frank. I hate to inform you, but Travis is going to dominate all of you. You have no fucking chance. Travis is going to take no fucking prisoners this You have no fucking chance. You know, Travis is going to take

no fucking prisoners this year. Everyone else in the... Wait, are you speaking about me, Travis? I'm very confused about these parts. So confused. I thought this was a Tom Cruise lookalike. He lives in way too nice of a house. That's a lot better.

He's a Tom Cruise lookalike so much. Because there is one that does cameos. You can do whatever you want. I don't want to vote him out. He's like famous. You've already voted him in. What I think those were that does cameos you can do whatever you want he's like famous you've already voted him in I think those were old cameos from past fantasy football videos or something that he just used for that

to show like he was having a conversation with him okay we already voted him in we're going to make Frank available for all of his content I feel like we should we got to spin the wheel. Oh, you've got to do the read.

Yeah, yeah. I've got to grab my computer because I'm late. I'll be back for the wheel. Do the read. I will do the read if I can. Oh, this is a good one. We're teaming up with our friends at TaylorMade to bring you the wheel today. TaylorMade is going to celebrate the launch of Stealth 2 by giving away two prizes to two different followers.

I'd like to go into business for myself real quick. I'm moving to Chicago soon. I'm going to join a country club, play a lot of golf. So Taylor, holler at your boy. I know Zod got some clubs. Big Cat got some clubs. So TaylorMade, I would love some clubs. You're going to join a country club and do golf content?

Yeah, I'm going to do golf stuff. Damn, you'd be the perfect pitchman. I know. Thank you very much. So TaylorMade, if if you want this face make a call or an email or whatever just send me the clubs anyway or just send it to him you don't you could probably never even do any content with him you know as long as you get him you know whatever they want yeah whatever they want also 65273 so if you want seeds i'm about to start golfing with you too yeah uh there, TaylorMade celebrating the launch of Stealth II by giving away two prizes to two different followers. The prizes include a grand prize of a Stealth II driver and a Stealth II hybrid or one Stealth II fairway wood of your choice.

Now through March 1st, which is next Wednesday. Now through March 1st, go to TaylorMade.com. I'm sorry. TaylorMadeGolf.com slash BarstoolSweeps. Again, that's TaylorMadeGolf.com slash BarstoolSweeps to enter and celebrate the launch that combined the elements of distance and forgiveness to unlock fargiveness. I don't know if you guys have seen that Tiger and Rory commercial, but it's really good. Head over to TaylorMadeGolf.com slash BarstoolSweep right now for your chance to win and make this golf season even better by filling your bag with the best.

Of course, that's TaylorMade. And here's the wheel. Spin that thing. Ask for free golf gloves while you're gone. And we're dry. So, TJ, how many Travis's did we end up with? We've got Travis Bregel.

Travis Gunderson. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, plus the owl, plus the audition. Because we have to assume a bunch of these are just not going to show up. A bunch of these Travises. They're not reliable. Yeah, you're right.

I won't throw this idea out. My idea is there's a next round of auditions where they come prepared with a video. You want to do that? Another screening audition. So maybe give them until Thursday? Yeah, they have a week or whatever. Oh, you want, oh.

I was going to say. No, give them three days. Two days. Two days. And then we whittle it down to the zoom Travis's on Friday 8 14 to 8 alright so TJ can you send that to them

yeah submit a video but we need it by Thursday morning Thursday morning I like that we still have the wheel can we just wheel one off too just for shits and giggles just 14 people named Travis well let we just wheel one off too? Just for shits and giggles. Just 14 people named Travis? Well, it's just wheel one off on the Zoom.

Okay, yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. They already have it prepared. Yeah, yeah. So they have, this will weed out. I actually don't even think we'll have to watch the videos on Thursday. I think there'll be like two.

I think you guys are, I think these guys all will. I look forward to Maldonado again. I also want to say Snowmobile Guy gets to the finals. Is that Maldonado? No, it's Elephant Guy. Maldonado's Elephant Guy. Oh, yeah, he's frontrunner. Snowmobile goes to the finals.

My only concern is Snowmobile Guy hurting himself. Hey, I don't want to give him that much confidence and security. I'm also worried that there are so many guys in snowmobile guys' video that y'all don't even know which one actually is a snowmobile guy. What's up, motherfuckers? It's that guy. Hope. All right.

All right. That was a very successful first round of Travis Tuesday. It was exactly what I said. So it'll be Travis week. I know. It's exactly what I wanted it to be. And we'll be Travis week. So yeah, Thursday will go a little from 14 to 8.

And we'll do the trivia, too, on Thursday. Sure. So we shouldn't have him be in the final until he can beat you in trivia. Okay. And then we'll find the funniest Travis in the world. And what are we going to do with him when we get him? I don't know. They get to change their name to Carter Huffman.

That's right. That's right. Thank you. All right. Perfect That's right. Thank you. All right. Perfect. All right. We'll see everyone tomorrow. Snowball. We'll be right back. buy our st patrick's day shirt if you don't buy it you're you're travis unfunny travis