TigerBelly - Bobby Lee & The Korean Shame w/ Jules

Episode Date: July 15, 2026

Bobby, Khalyla, Jules, and Luke dive into international soccer rivalries, Korean shame, Bobby’s Coachella, Julio the love dog, childhood memories, haunting valet stories, and the strange ways our earliest experiences shape who we become.Right now, Bathmate is giving our listeners up to 20% off when you use code BELLY at BATHMATEDIRECT.COM/BELLY.With Shopify, nothing stands between your idea and a real business. So go make it one. Start your free trial at SHOPIFY.COM/TIGERBELLY See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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We took celebrities. We put them in my mom's basement. We throw trivia at them. We hit them with absurd challenges. And then, just when they think they know what's happening, we blow to a whole ting a pot. Nobody knows the rules. We barely know the rules. It's chaos.

It's comedy. It's The Bad Game Show. New episodes drop every Wednesday. Watch on the Bad Friends YouTube channel. Or on the Bad Game Show feed on Spotify video. Follow, subscribe, watch. Share. Play along. Have fun.

Hello, mates. I'm playing Australia. I'll be in Melbourne. August 4th, 26. It'll be in Sydney, Australia. Shunth, Baba. Brisbane, USA. No, Australia, I mean.

August 22nd, 2020, 2006. And Auckland, New Zealand, August 23rd, 26. Get them at pambini. Live. You don't have any finishes? I don't have like a...

She was talking about, like, oh, have like an earnest question about fetishes. Like, I don't have earnest anything. Yeah, I was like, I don't have earnest anything. I'm not... I'm scared of that topic on a podcast, but maybe I'm... But if you don't have any, you don't have any. I guess.

Yeah, I don't have any fetishes when it comes to, like, in the bed. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't spit or any of that. Any of that. A fetish be something you're a disgusting. by too, but you're fixated on. I don't really know what defines, like, a fetish. Foot.

There's also an Asian fetish. There's a... You also not like feet, but you're like always observing people's feet, but you're like, that's a bad feet. Are you talking about yourself here? Talk about one person's feet. I'm wearing crock. It couldn't be me.

You're like... Your feet are nice. I really... Yeah, yeah. Your feet, dude? Fantastic. You think so? Zindu things are too soft for a guy.

Okay. How are your feet? I have pretty good feet. Yeah, yeah. Got that, got that, got that. Why? I think I have good feet. Who knows?

With all the foot finders out there. But I think I have good feet. I don't have like mangled. Yeah, you weren't in a war. That's what I'm asking. Yeah. Why? Do you have bad feet?

I have good feet, but like one of my toes right now are insane. It's like that's bad. Structurally good. Yeah. One's insane right now. Genetically bad. Not genetically bad. Hygienically bad.

Not hygiener looking bad. No, I mean. Not hijacked. Yeah, yeah. Everything's good. I mean, look at my foot. That's good. And you have painted, manicured.

Yeah, they're a nice fit. That's really good. You have a smooth bottom, huh? Yeah, smooth bottoms, dude. He doesn't, he's never seen. Look everybody. I mean, for sure, I'll hover over the jaw. That's big.

But so you have one toe that's, like, infected? Not infected. In the past, it has been. No, no, no, no, no. He's trying to rewrite his. I'm not rewriting. It's just. It's funny how, of all this.

I'm not rewriting. I'm not rewriting history. I'm not rewriting history, okay? You're getting me angry. Okay, what I'm doing is I'm going to tell you something about it, right? I kicked it against, like, my bed frame a year ago. Then it turned black. Oh, a brute.

Inverted. Why did you kick it? I was in the dark. It hurt so bad. And then it turned black. And the nail came off. And the nail came off. And now it's growing back weird.

Can I see it? No. Yeah, because I think that that's generally that. But it's not because I don't wash it. It was in a war. Do you wash it though? I don't really wash my feet like that. As your co-hosts for the past 11 years and having done this and being intimate with your feet and all the things that come with your feet, you can't rewrite history and pretend like the audience doesn't know you had a green foot for at least a decade.

I didn't have a green foot. That's insane. We literally have merch with a foot in it. Yeah, that's your angle. I didn't make the shirt. I didn't design the shirt. Gil is Gilbert. I didn't design the products.

Yeah. I don't know nothing about it. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. But it's been healed since. Yeah. Yes.

Yeah, it's healed. It's like all. You like the Mexican strokes? Casino El Camino. It's a burger restaurant in Boston, Texas. I thought there was a band called Camino Casino or something. And they were a band that they're Mexican, but they sound like the stroke.

I might know that band. Do they have a song called Accidente? Hello. Hi. Hello. You're so social, dude. Yeah, she's a social person. Yeah, I've seen her in five days.

We just drove here together. I understand that, yeah. I wanted to pitch something to you, and Jolson and I think it's really important. I think forever since the dawn of time, we've spoken about a dog named Julio, and we've never actually introduced him on the show. Oh, God, I'm so nervous. Okay, but... Can I say something really quick?

Yeah. We were telling Luke about it. Yeah, Luke goes, animals love me. I can pay any dog. Yeah, I can pay any animal. That's what he said. I don't understand. Div and A, please.

Okay, I just want to preface this meeting by saying that Julio is of a very different realm of existence and that, like, every dog behaviorist has been like, okay, we actually think that he's either a psychopath or... No, we got to euthanize him. That's what I heard. No, yeah, yeah. What? I've heard people say you have to euthanize that dog. No, that's crazy, no.

What do you say that any dog that bites a person has to be euthanized? Yeah, they can all die. But isn't that a thing that people say? That is a thing. No, no. If Julio mauled, you know what I mean, a child? He would never. Okay.

Because you know why? He has owners like us who protect him from those kinds of situations. Are you fucking crazy? He would be. He would never. He's the fear of the house. I'm sorry. In fact, I only locked the doors to my bedroom when Julio's not here.

It's crazy that you... Yeah, I locked the doors to my bedroom, right? No, what would he do? What? What would he do? I know he's a guard dog. So I know that when there's an intruder, I'll hear him first. It'll wake me up.

But then you also said that you're scared that I will kill you. Yeah, I know. That's another. Sometimes I lock it because of you. Yeah, yeah, because I don't know your motivations. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why do you have this dog that's so vicious? Because he loves us.

Okay, so I want to see how this. seem so confident about it. So now, how confident are you? I'm pretty confident that I can... 1 through 10, confidence. He's bit everyone, all three of us. Allegedly. We love him.

By the way, I want to say Julio's the best dog on earth. Yes. Where I get a little more... What kind of dog is this? It's a little. A little brown dog. Chihuahua? He has maybe.

Maybe half chihuahua. Chihuahua is not great. Yeah. I give myself like a seven maybe that I can pet it. Oh, confidence. So. Oh, my God. Oh, wow.

Yeah, yeah. I'd give you more context. Gilbert has been with us for 12 years and they still cannot connect connect there was a short period where we could I use a treat as like a yes you could try yeah try one of those yeah try one of those beef treats yeah yeah yeah those beef treat okay so

bring him muzzle please yeah bring him muscle him and also just no before we go let's ask him and so like Hannibal Lecter I know so after that after I want to see your fear level from one to 10 all right so right now so right now your confidence level right now is seven I want to see what your fear level is after you meet.

Because he's the best dog on earth. I say my fear level just right now is already like a five. All right. So you're already, is it now it's not seven anymore? It's five. Your confidence level. My confidence level, I mean, it's dropping a little bit. Maybe six, five. Okay, six, five.

It's dropping and the fear is rising. Okay, good. Yeah. Please get a muzzle. But you know what, here, another piece of context. There are only two people in existence who he's met and immediately been like, I submit to you. One is my partner Aloha and my friend Shandy.

I feel like your girlfriend could crack the code soon with Julio. Never. It hasn't happened yet. He bit her vagina. I know, I heard that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you know what? You weren't there to protect her.

Jules. You were just laughing. Well, Julio was acting for me. Because I'm the Asian joker. And then Honey and Jules were like, she ended up getting bit because Julio was, you know, you weren't there to protect her.

Okay, I've been bit so many times by him. You have holes in your body. I have holes for life. I don't understand this dog relationship. He's perfect. But when you got him, was he nice? He was a puppy. He was nice when he's a puppy.

He was orphaned and he was bottle fed. Here's another side note about Julio is we gave him away twice as a puppy. No, no, no, no. Don't they give him away. Okay. So we were. No, no, no.

No, no. We were fosters, right? So, oh, family, what's a puppy, right? And then a week later, they called us back and go, can you pick him back up, please? Five times. Like, yeah, a bunch of times. And then after that we drive that Orange County and pick them up.

Yeah, as a little puppy. He's something's wrong. Can we just like, I feel like we're just shitting on my favorite guy in the world. He's my favorite guy too. He's the best. Okay. Yeah, yeah. But he's gonna eat Luke.

And this is gonna be fun to watch. I don't know. Oh! Put the most one. Yeah, I know. You could be one of two or three people in the world that he just respects, we never know. And if, let me tell you that, I'm gonna tell you another thing, right? You get a bonus if Julio doesn't bark at you tonight.

If he doesn't bark? If you get to pet him, right? Like, not just a touch, but start petting him and he calms down, you'll get a big financial bonus to them. Okay. I like this. I'm trying to think of how to, yeah, how to like spin this in my favor somehow. There's no way to do it.

Because people have done that. I've had women that updated, the animals love me. Like I can go to a forest and see a deer Like just a random deer And they'll be like butterfly on their head You know what I'm just like an animal like I saw a bear a polar bear one Right?

And he just kind of like waved You know what I mean like these kind of girls They meet Julio and they go I don't ever want to see you again And I don't ever want to be here Well yeah because every time I come here There's always a big thing about like make sure The dogs are yeah exactly

And it's only one dog we're talking about It's one Gobie and Stubbs are the sweetest dogs you'll ever meet. And he's never locked up. He has his old room in bed. What? Do they fight the other dog? No.

Well, sometimes. Gobi and Julio sometimes. Julio loves who he loves, and he just doesn't kind of veer from that. But you could walk him in the street, and he won't bite you. Will he bark at other people? No. Huh. He's fine on the street.

What are the truth? All right. It's already scary. Yeah. He's already moaning and freaking out. Can you give me your first. Go ahead, Luke He's all yours, buddy

Wow, this is actually insane He's vicious, he's viciously attacking Go pet him Oh my God Yeah My fear level's about it Go go go give him a hug Go ahead try

Dude, what's wrong with this dog What's wrong with him? I feel bad for him He's perfect I feel bad for him No no Okay, you guys sit down and then Yeah, just sit down and relax Good proper info.

Let's go. Come on. Is that leaving? Yeah. He's our guest. I actually have like... Tommy Lee, ladies and gentlemen. So Tommy Lee was supposed to be on this podcast and he canceled.

It's okay. Come here. Maybe. Come here. This is... I feel bad. Oh, okay. He's happy now. Ooh, it's actually my fear level is I think a 10.

Oh, let's trying it. We're trying it. Hi. Good his eyes. Whoa, all right, put him back. Yeah, put him a woman. Hi. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is, who brought up this idea? Yeah, yeah. No, she did. I'm scared. I was talking about it unrelated to. I'm scared. That's actually.

What happened? I feel like, I'm thinking. Is that his name? Belon? Oh, sorry. Whatever. That dog? Yeah.

I mean, what is wrong with that dog? Like, it's, it's. It's. has fear. He's scared, right? Julio's scared, right? That's why he's doing that? I don't know what he's thinking.

He's scared of people. It's not, like, it was explained to me that when he, when you're an orphan puppy, and, like, he didn't get, like, the, what he needed for several days, because he was dumped, right? And he didn't get both the mother's milk,

and then he didn't have siblings and a mother to, like, check his, like, bite inhibition. And so, but also it's like, maybe his brain didn't develop directly. My anxiety is, like, through the roof after that. But I cannot.

It's not begin to stress to you that outside of strangers, he is truly the best fucking dog. He's the sweetest dog in the world. Like he sleeps and without a bad. What do you mean? What do you mean? Bitt some lady's vagina? My girlfriend's vagina. Okay, what the fuck?

That's not a nice dog. What I'm telling you is that if I'm alone in the house and I'm laying on the couch, Julio will sit on my lap, lick my face, right? And he dig his head into my face and nuzzle. And he's the sweetest dog in the world. And he's our family garden. like a crazy gene or something. He respects you like a mother dog.

Yeah. Well, I mean, yeah, but like he loves all of us. That is, he didn't seem to love Chules very much. Oh, what are you kidding? You brought him in. He's losing his shit. He's flying out of the wall. The dog rides in the car with her.

Yeah. No. With no muzzle. Do you like the dog if they were like, oh, he has to stay with you for a week? That's fine. I don't care. What do you mean? What do you mean?

She's, at night. At night. They sleep together in the same bed. Who likes to go under the blanket and just snuggle. Yeah. This feels like a prank on me or something. No, I think a dog off the street or something. You can not be honest with you?

Yeah. Aside from the desert witch that we talked about earlier. Yeah. You know what I mean? Whatever, Earth Mama. Mother. Yeah, yeah. Earth Mama.

Whatever. He doesn't like white people. But he doesn't like Gilbert. He used to like me. No, he was actually fine with Gilbert. It's George. It's George. And he doesn't know Alex that well.

Alex looks like a bulldog. Yeah, I was going to say. Yeah, he looks like a other dog. Why did that get brought up? The reason is because we were in the car, me, Jules, and Julio. And Gobi. And goby. And we were cruising over here listening to the new Olivia Rodrigo album.

Oh, that's out now? Yeah, it's out now. I don't know. Right, dude? What's up, bro? We look behind us. And there's just Julio being the cutest dog ever. And I was like, you know what?

we've never formally introduced. There's so much lore around him. Yeah, yeah. Bring Gobi. Oh, everyone's going to. Everybody's see. There's portraits of... Yeah, there's portraits of Goli.

Oh, Goulds. I know, we love Gob. And they're older now. They're like, what, 10? I don't even start with that. Okay. Because I, you know, we had a comedian. I can't say her name,

but she's a very funny female comedian. He's a regular at the store, and that day, or the day before her dog died. And she came in, and I just looked at her. I just said, I just went through that. And it's not about me, but, um. Is it Steph?

It made it about me, but no. Is it Steph and Susan? Yeah. Yeah, I saw the post. I didn't want to see the name. No, she posted about it. They're grieving. Are you kidding me?

Yeah, with Steph. Yes, no, Steph has been, Susan. Susan is the dumb. Oh. Jesus, Bob. No, that was like a, Oh, fuck Susan. Beloved family member.

Yeah, yeah, I love to. And anytime she was on our pod, she would talk, we would talk about Susan. And are you kidding me? Yeah. Yeah. She's the bet. But yeah, you don't have any animals.

I have family pets. Yeah, I have a lot. My mom was very much like, oh, I saw a cat on the street and now we have another cat, like, very much animal. A lot of those. I'm a little tired of it, honestly. Growing up in a house like that, it's a little bit like, okay, enough. I think I need a break.

I have friends who get dogs now and, like, we're in our early 20s, and it's like, you're not well equipped to take care of this dog at all. That's a huge thing to do. Bringing it to a bar. It's causing a whole scene. You go to hang out with your friend. The dog is there. You're like, I'm not really here to hang out with the dog.

Oh, that's. I'm not on your side. Sorry. Like, oh, hi, the dog. But, like, you know, this has to end eventually, right? Like, the dog's not going to Coachella. Like, our dog. Yeah, you're like, you don't know who the strokes are.

Exactly. You know? Oh, but what am I going to? You're bringing a carpentie? Yes. Yeah, yeah. Yes. Yeah.

Bathmaid. What? Bath made. Oh, yeah. I love it. You do. Bathmade. Uh-huh.

Bathmade. Come on. Bathmade. What? My penis bigger. Yum. Yum, yum. Let's cut the crap, guys.

If you could have bigger, harder, longer, lasting erections, you take it, right? Yeah. So why aren't you using Bathmate yet? Luke? I don't know. Why not? I really want to check out the number one hydro-powered penis pump, and I actually hear it delivers results.

Pure results. And it's so easy, you guys. Like a pancake, you just add water. Yum, yum. Yum. This isn't some gimmick. It's science back, prove it, and used by guys worldwide. Naimar.

Yeah. Holland, probably. Who want better performances and have a partner who can't get enough. Sounds great. I mean, I, for one, I would love more size, more girth, and more confident. That's what comes with that. So, guys, right now, BathMitt is giving our listeners and Luke up to 20% when you use code belly at bathmate direct.com slash belly. That's bathmate direct, B-A-T-M-A-T-M-A-T-E-D-I-R-E-C-T-C-T-C-L-Let.

Use code belly for up to 20% off. Go to batmate-mate-direct.com slash belly, use code belly and upgrade your sex life today. Link is in the episode's description. Shop-Mate. Shop-A-F-F-F-F-F-E. Oh, yeah. Shop-A-F-F-E-M-H-M-H-M-H-E. You know why? Because we want to only use Shopify. the best business to get our products out. And if you've been sitting on a business idea for a while, Shopify makes it so easy to happen. It's everything you need to start selling is included and ready from day one. It's like this, Luke.

You know, I do some interior design. I hire people to make it look at my house to look like I want it to look. That's what Shopify does for your page. Right? You can do all kinds of stuff. Fonds. Pretty. You know, to sell your product.

You need it. Yeah. You need it bad. I'm trying to grow my merch myself. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, anyway. And then what Shopify does is it handles everything. It handles the setup, the checkout.

So you can use that time to focus on growing your business and the tools to do it. And the purple button. What's the purple button? You know about the purple button, don't you? What happens in the purple button? It's a classic purple button that you press on Shopify, the app. Yeah, I've been trying to start getting my merch out there, t-shirt, stickers, all that stuff. And I just have been so overwhelmed with, like, you know, trying to build it all myself.

and so being able to use something like Shopify has just simplified everything, and I'm able to focus on writing jokes and, you know, actually focusing on my comedy. And I, not too much merch stuff. You know what, dude? I love it. Thank you. I love it a lot. Thank you.

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If I think about the Sabrina Carpenter show, it was like I lived through a hell. I don't believe that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw him dance. You like that. Oh, I was not dancing. I was not dancing. I wasn't.

Tell us more, Jill's. Describe everything you saw in detail, please. He was just looking at her. In awe? Yeah, in awe. There we go, awe. And then I see, like, his hips moving with Sadie. And I was like, oh, he's, like, having fun.

It's the old dude, right? Confused about even why this is music. Why is it? No, no, no, no. And it's like, oh, but, like, you know, my girlfriend's 35. Okay. And she's in love with it, right? And she's dancing.

And I don't want to be that angry. Like, get off my love. Yeah, you know what I'm trying to like You didn't like the performance art of it all You said it was so fun But he doesn't want to say that in front of the homies I don't know why You're in your 50s

These guys? Hey bro Nah, dog Hey player Sabrina fuck it Yeah yeah It's my level bro Yeah yeah You know what Shakira one said

Shakira one The Hips Don't lie Oh That's true Who did said that? Shakira. Shakira, Lend. Do you know who she was with for a long time?

I don't know who you're talking about. Gerard Piquet, ex-wife. Gerard Piquet. Yeah. Oh, oh, yeah, Shakira, yeah. That's Shakira. She was dating the defender of Barcelona. Gerard P.K.

Yeah. And he's gay, right? Yeah, well, no, no, no. Oh, let me have brought this up in a long time. We did, but I want to take it back. No, no, I don't want to. So let me say something. You know about gay?

Yeah. Right way to ask someone. I think so. Yeah, you know about the gays. I love them. Me too. Yeah, I do. So there was a, have you seen this photo?

No. It was Gerard D. P.K. and Zlatan Ibrahimovitch. They were playing for Barcelona. Slatans gay? There was a photo that some photographer caught of them, right, in back of this building by a car. Whoa. Oh, that's so hot. No way. He did rivalry.

Yeah, look at the fingers. Clawlo, can we zoom into the fingers? My God. What was your take back in the day? Yeah, what was your take on that? I don't remember, but my current take is that they're just European. This is very European. Oh, the two Europeans. And like, what's so wrong?

Like, what's so wrong about dudes just being sweet? Did they just kiss on the side of the penis? Yeah. I actually really, I accept this photo wholeheartedly as just friendship. This is very challengers. Luke, if we were caught doing this. Try it, try it. Let's take a picture.

I could even get into that position. If we were caught doing this alone in an alleyway, and that came out, what would happen? Your career would be over, I think. And my career would be just beginning. I think that would kick start of big, lots of interviews. I think would follow. I don't know.

What do you think, Joe? You think that's gay? or that's European? European and hot. Yeah. We all agree it's hot, obviously. It's hot as well. You think that's hot?

I think there's a hotness because of the implication. Yeah. Yeah, but you know what? I'll say this. I really want Slaton on this show, so I unclaim. Okay, here's what the real thing is

about this photo. It's AI. No, it's not AI. The real thing is that they were close teammates. Yeah. Slaton was leaving Barcelona. Yeah.

Okay. This is probably their last day together You know what I mean? Because they were close teammates And Zaton's crying like I don't want to go to A.C. Malano, I don't know where he went. But my point is that, you know, I could see me and Andrew doing that. I could see that. It seems like they started

with a cap up. You do do? I do that. Yeah. Yeah. There are times. You guys like kissing the lips. Yeah, yeah. Okay, you're right. It seemed like they were shaking hands kind of and maybe pulling away at the last second and they caught. No. Yeah. Yeah, I've never shaken the hand like that.

Yeah. Anyway, I also want to say, we never talked about this, but I felt really emotional this weekend because of the fight and determination by this Mexican World Cup side. Yeah. They fought their heart out. Hard out. They should have won. Amazing energy. Never one, they should have won. Why do you think that?

Because of the stats. They had more possession. Oh, yeah. You know. But your Jude Bellingham. Yeah, it was a... England was down to ten men and they brought in Dan Byrne and stones

to defend their eyes. So it was just one of the greatest... Okay, there we go. It's actually a lot less gay now. Yeah, yeah, it's less gay now. Yeah, yeah. Bobby's bad about the departure. Like, who is this guy?

I look like Zlaton's like assistant. Yeah. You know, Arsena Hull has a... Korean assistant. That looks like me. Oh, really? Yeah, anyway. I don't know why I said that.

Mexico spirit. So anyway, let's go back to Mexico Spirit. My guess is he went up to you and that's the only thing he said, hey, Bobby, I have an assistant. Look, looks just like. No, I never said that. He didn't say that? No, no.

What happens is, I always see, I forgot his name, but this Korean dude. And I know that Arsenao is coming. Oh, I see. I see. I see. I mean, and I'll give him a hug. Yeah. Hey, twin.

What's a H? A. Chad, he goes, he's coming. Oh, okay. He's one of the nicest guys in the world. Anyway, you know about him. Yeah. But anyway, Mexico, let's go back to Mexico. The Mexico, they fought their heart out, and I feel super bad.

But here's the thing. You put it on the line. You made your country proud. And I'm going to say the opposite of the U.S. team. What a fucking humiliating disaster. Oh, right. No heart. No midfield.

Oh, wow. No design. Yeah. Shame. Shame on your U.S. And the red card thing meant nothing. It was super embarrassing. Can I just say one thing, though?

Yeah, yeah. I know it's not the time to shit on your home team, Korea. I don't like that when it's like you treat your players so poorly and have a shitty homecoming. You boo them if they don't like live up to whatever, f***ing expectation you had for them. It's so f*** up. No. Nope. What do you mean?

No. I kind of like the drama. I like the drama of it. Also, it's also, you know, I'm sorry, but when did the Philippines get knocked out? Why are you attacking me? Where are you attacking me? Because it's been a fight we've had all week.

You know what I go? She's like, Korea didn't do good. They got knocked out. Like trying to make fun of me. And I'm like, oh, when did the Philippines play? Oh, wait. Hang on, hang on. Alex Disney.

What? Round 16, Wibleton. Yes, right. Alex Gila. Hell yeah. That's not soccer. It's brown. It's not only that.

But Alex Viola. just beat Iga. Oh, right? Yes. Who was the defending champion of last year's swimming? No. So we have our own thing going.

And by the way, and by the way, you cannot compare the kind of sports access, the funding, all the things Korea has versus such little support from the actual Philippine

like sports commission. I'm just saying, if you were to take those, I'm saying, if you were to take any one of those Filipino athletes and give them the actual support, all of these Western countries would get,

they would fucking crush it. How much is a ball? What do you mean? They don't have a youth program like that. Like in England, you're born into it. There's no money, there's no support. I'm just saying it's different, okay? Actually, how much is a soccer ball?

Go ahead. I would say it's $100. $170. That's so expensive. I'll buy 20 of them for, okay, I'll plant the seed. Next time we go to the Philippines, I'll buy 20 balls.

That's it? You cheap motherfucker. What I mean? How much is a program? You had to build a fucking facility. We'll build a soccer facility. Oh my God, do you want to? Yeah.

In Cebu. In Cebu, right? But I'm telling you right now, 20 years from now, if there's no national team, I'm going to burn Sibu to the ground. You do have a national team. They're called Ascal. They're amazing. They're amazing.

Yes. They're good. They're more rascals than Ascals. But tell me why your people turn against their own. Because we're about. Shame. shame. And it's like you didn't, you humiliating

in a fashion, didn't make it through the group stages? Yeah, that's the kind of, that's what happens in sports. Duh. But it was already a scandal before it because of Sun, no? Oh yeah. Because he wasn't, he didn't do the military. It's just intense to get me. Oh, who cares about that?

And so everyone, like all the news in Korea were like, oh, like we don't we shouldn't cheer for him. Oh, really? Oh, wow. I feel bad to be an athlete. Well, the Koreans are... Yeah. Koreans are weird...

Look at that. That's crazy. He's a liar. Oh, the guy came with a drum. Yeah. It is funny to think about all the people who showed up for this. I really respect those people's determination and their drop. And I think that the team, the plane arrived at like three or four in a morning.

I really respect so. So they like slept overnight. Yeah. Yeah, I think the reason why people showed up, I would have showed up to about Korea. What would you have said? What would you have screamed that loud? Boodoo! What?

I wouldn't know a lot of English. Yeah. Why? Not good. You know what? It's stuff like that. Right. But I would speak Korean, so I would say that in Korean.

So I would have known more. Anyway, I don't know why that would be. I would just do it in English. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, they showed up so that they could remind them that, hey, next time, this is what's going to happen. Like, you got to put your life on the line.

Well, it is. They did. I don't think. Yeah, I don't think so. I think there's a lot of criticism for the coach, you know, like who he put in, who he bench, blah, blah. But I don't know why it reverted.

I was talking about the USA and then you all of a sudden you had to rip on Korea. I don't like shitting on any athletes that try their best. They didn't try their best. Yeah, and the U.S. kind of, you know, it's a little bit of almost cheating with the red card thing. Yeah. And I think that there was a little bit of Carmother.

Yeah. I just think pressure. Yeah. It's like this. I think everyone knew. it was wrong. And I think the best thing that could have happened, is that his name? Balagan,

yeah. Belligan said, yo, I know that Trump overturned it with the FIFA president. British accent. Why does he say yo? He's British. He says brough. Yeah, brov. He's British. Okay. Brev. There we go. I know. I know. I know that Trump

Brab. Brow. Right. overturn this, but it's like It's lie. It's lies. How are you? I think that I should just, you know, stay on the bench this guy. It's just ethically wrong.

Hello? Right. Tata. Or whatever they say. Yeah. Yeah. But I think that he should have maybe stepped down and said, it feels weird. And then it would have, then the bad mojo would have been gone.

You know? There was a cloud. I think there was a cloud of like, are we cheating? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It didn't feel right. Maybe it took away their, like, grit.

Their grit. Yeah. That's all I want to see is blood. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, when you say grit, I mean, like, not blood, but, but, like, grit. Like, I, like, you know, I'll give you an example. Like, your life depends on it. Bellingham's first goal.

Yeah. Was it an arsenal goal, by the way. Congratulations. Yeah, yeah. It was rice running down the fucking field given to Bakay Osaka. Yeah. Bukaiy Osaka did that lob in. You fed it, yeah.

But here's what the difference between your life on the line and not. is Bellingham, that's so dangerous, to head in that way. Because you don't know what the keeper's going to do. Like, he's putting his head on the line for the team. That's all she's been saying, all the whole drive over here. Is it because he's British and black, or what? He's just a good-looking kid. He's good-looking, and he's so good.

This is him giving a jersey to Mora. Yeah. Oh, Jules. That was sweet. That was sweet. Yeah. Well, he has a brother named Job, I think, right? Yeah, his brother is hot too.

Okay. Thanks for the research. Thanks for the research. But anyway, he put his life on the line. I think Mexico put their life on the line. That's all we want to see as a nation. Is somebody like, you know, just going, you know, this is more than me. I was reading for Mexico all the way.

I know. Why? I don't know. I just love the team. I like Memochoa. I like. There's so much. There's just so much, I don't know.

Like. as they were going on when they beat like Korea like there's so many things that to love about that team you're hosting too yeah yeah and yeah and like I just like the team I like underdogs you know oh you like the underground yeah undergrounds yeah undergrounds and I know but I also love the Arsenal kids are like young and like they're in they're excellent I don't know what do you mean I just had a soft spot from okay yeah but they lost they lost they're also our neighbors and I love them too yeah and we're Mexicans of Asia so who are the Filipino yeah yeah yeah Yeah, yeah, you guys are the Mexicans in Asia.

I think that we were closest in, like, you know, kinship feeling towards Mexico. Yeah. Yeah, same colonizer, you know. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So, now that they're gone, you're Spanish now? You're reading for, you're reading for Spain?

No, I'm not rooting for Spain. No way. Why? That's our colonizer. Also, I did date guy. I know. I know you did. I remember that.

And a fucking rugby professional. Why did you follow him? I followed him. On Instagram. That was the weirdest. Dude, I competed against rugby professional. Not rugby, footy. What?

Fitty. Fully. Was he handsome with him? No. Yeah, he was. Tall, tall. Tall. He looks like a midfielder, a soccer player.

I beat them all out. And I landed this. And then he followed them on Instagram. I followed them. I followed them. And then I would get texts like. And then no one would believe that I was dating you. And then I would get random texts like,

Hey, like, why? And then it was just a screenshot of Bobby Lee is now following you. Yeah. I'm like, oh. Oh, yeah, it's weird. I'm like, I don't know. No, say. I ask, my girlfriend all the time, I go, why?

I'm ugly. She's like, to me, you're not. Not a great answer, but good enough. But to me, you're not. How about no, you're not? But I am not. I'm saying, yeah, no, you're not. But why do you keep asking that question?

What are you trying to hear? What do you mean? Why do you ask that? Why me? when you look at this blonde, tall goddess of a woman who is your girlfriend, and do you like being in the position of, why, me? Change your voice?

Yeah, I don't change my voice. He does baby voice with baby. I don't do. I hear it. Don't see the name. Yeah, what do I do? What do I say? You do baby voice.

Like what? Give me an example. You're like, hi, my love. No, I don't. I've never done that. You're doing that. I've never done that. It's insane.

You're doing like, was it. Sweet, sweet pee or something. Yeah, sweet pee. Yeah, yeah. I call everyone sweet pee when they're dating me. Yeah, because she's, Why are there so many songs about rainbows? I thought it was a geezer.

No, no, no. And what's on the other side? Rainbows are visions, but only- That you're dropping names. Illusions? Yeah, yeah. You're killing me. What are you doing?

You know what I don't think about that song? What? The first line is a lie. What is this the first line? Why are there so many songs about rainbows there are? Oh, there are. Let's name them. Yeah, there's no songs of rainbows.

I can name three already. All right, what. Okay. I love a rainbow. Who sings that? Miss Rachel? Yes. Miss Rachel.

The song was written in the 50s. Okay, another one, another one. The 80s one. Butterfly in the sky. Before to the 60s. Hi, hi. Take a look. It's in a book. Yeah, no.

This song was written right in the 60s or early 70s. Okay. What's the call? What? Rainbow Connection. Okay, there's another Hawaiian one. Somewhere over the rainbow? No, not, yeah, that one is.

But there's another one. It says it's Aloha's favorite song. I should know this. Rainbow Connection is 1980. Okay, 1980. So how many rainbow songs were there before 1980? I don't know. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Somewhere over the rainbow, I think, was before 1980. That's true. Yeah, well before. Yeah, that's kind of the one, though. That's the one. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's the classic one. That's the one rainbow song.

To say, why are there so many? Yeah. You would think that there's like a hundred. Yeah. I bet there are. Why are you so argumentative? Why would that one time you'd be like, you know what, you're right? I think that it's just because why are you mad about songs about rainbow?

Ambo songs, okay. Aymbo songs. That's going on, brother. Yeah, I don't know what's going on, but yeah. Yes, of course. My brother is. Brother is like the most known one. Rainbow Casey Musker's.

I love that song. All right, all right. You proved my point. What a wonderful world. Oh, yeah, it says rainbow in it. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

See ya. You're right. Let's move on. I'm wrong. Cash. Cash has one. Okay. Everyone has one.

Yeah. Do you have baby voice for your girlfriend? Be honest, please. I'd rather not be honest and say no. Oh, so you do. Of course. Sometimes, yeah. I think that's totally okay.

So I'm in the kitchen. I'm your girlfriend. Okay. Right? You're in the living room. I can see it. You're in the living room. Yeah.

You see my backside. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? I'm washing something, right? And you want her to bring her in your room. Do a baby voice. What kind of baby voice would you do?

Uh, I don't know. Be honest. You got to get me into the room. What are you doing? I'm washing the dishes, I said. I'm waiting. I'm so. I'm a perfectionist.

I'm making a sandwich. You see if you wash dishes. Yeah, and you suck at it. That I do only circles. Go ahead. Do we have any? You're bad at improv. Do we have any treat?

I see, I see. Yeah, you're looking for sweet treat. Yeah, yeah. I want treat. Oh, wait, that's him too. I hung me. Can you bring me a tree? A hungo.

Yeah, I do that. I hungo. I really want trees. Yeah. I hungo. I kind of want to get a treat and a kiss. And then you go, what do you mean? Can I have a treat and a kiss, maybe?

You don't think that's sexy. Oh, I love it. That's so cute. Do you guys have baby voices for men? What do you mean? Like this? I want to suck your cock. Let me get in there, brother.

That's an asshole. That's exactly. I talked that a little. Let me get in there, brother. Hey, brother. Yeah. No, they do. Of course.

They act cute. Like sometimes she'll go into a dance, you know, in her underwear, right? And I'm like, you know, I already came. You're kind of like, I'm the dance thing. It's a prequel to. This is for play.

Yeah. But anyway, no, I like it. It's cute. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's, you know, it's,

I like to be in relationship. is where you feel like children. Yes. Where it's playful and fun. Yeah. And an inventor. I kind of like to, I like to rage bait more than

baby voice, really. Oh, yeah, arguments. Yes. Where you're like, what the fuck are you doing? What's wrong with you? Well, and just trying to get her mad. Yeah.

That's kind of the bet. I try to go, like, I don't think women should have the right to vote. Yes, exactly. And then just, it'll start an argument. Yeah. Yeah. What do you mean?

Yeah. I'm just saying. Yeah. What's antagonize. The argument is the best. That's real love. You jokingly argue. Yeah.

I don't know if girls like that. I think women like it. Yeah. I think they like it. Or like I never, I always drive us everywhere we go so sometimes we'll leave for somewhere and I'll be like, oh, and then can we get,

you'll drive? Like, here are your keys? Like, go drive and she'll get pretty upset. What? What the fuck? Yeah, what? That's not even cute. You drive us.

You're asking you to work. Yeah, you drive us. You drive us, you pay for dinner and I'm just a little baby. Oh. I'm just a baby. I can't do anything. Oh, I see.

I see. Yeah. And girls love that. Yeah. Get out of here. Yeah. And so you told me earlier that now you pay for all the meals? I try to pay for all the meals as much as she will let me.

But she likes to pay for some reason. That's like she's into that. I will not allow it. I try not to allow it. I will never allow it. Is that sexism? No, I don't think it's, for you, it doesn't stem from sexism. I think it's just...

Insecurity? No, I think it, that's your, like, fundamentally, like, you believe as though, like... Love language, giving, kind of. A woman already gives, like, so much, like, it's at least you can do. Yeah. Yeah. It's, I think it's, maybe it's my generation or whatever, but it's always just been built in. You're also just very generous.

I would not, not even just with girlfriends, like, you're generous. With the valet. Valet. Valet. Like, everyone you come across, so, like, that's just you. Yeah. You agree about that. Yeah, but, you know, my intentions, I've been questioning it as of late.

Okay, let's go through it. I like this. Yeah. What? What do you mean you're questioning your intentions? I don't know. It's like, sometimes I'll be like, like a valley is $5, for instance. And somebody's like, oh, here's 30.

Yeah. Right? And there's no thank you. Right? Yeah. And I'll walk away like, yeah. What are you writing down? You haven't said anything in this podcast.

Yeah. did, but I'm writing hearts. That's how dry. Jules, you and me both. That's how bored you guys are? I had a valet moment like that where I went out to dinner with my girlfriend's parents recently and went to pay the valet and it was like, you know, eight bucks or something. And then I was like, hey, I'm paying for my ticket, but then I'm also paying for their

ticket. Yeah. Their valet ticket. Yeah, that was really cool. Yeah, like, hey, I'll pay for it. And I tip the guy. There you go. Take it.

How much was a tip? Don't. I think I gave him 20 bucks and then it was for two tickets so he gave me $4 back and then I tipped him $2. Oh my gosh. I said keep the four? Maybe I should have. I don't know. I should just give him the $20.

That's not that. That's not a tip. Yeah, that's not that. That's not that. Okay. Those are $20 bills you're doing. But I paid for it. The sound you were looking for was wamp, wom.

That's true. I don't know. That's wrong comment. You basically stab the valet Yeah, he's probably That's what that was I don't know I don't know

On a eight Whatever Yeah, that's not good But so I pay for them For their ticket Ultimately the valet guys Probably like well you just fucked me Because he would have tipped me more money

Way more But so I pay for their ticket But then as we're getting into the car Leaving I'm like Oh they're gonna see that I paid It's gonna be like sick Yeah I saw a different couple kind of come down

And they were like Oh no no you go And let them go front and I think the valet guy got confused and I think he might have had me pay for this random other people's ticket. That's what you deserve. What? That was life karma in your face, dude. Yeah. I would have to agree. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. Tipping culture for me is like very different. Okay, so let me ask you something. Let me ask you this. But you were born and raised here in L.A. Right. Yes, yes. No, but I tip, but now with the iPad, it's like I tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip. And then when someone goes,

Oh, this is $8. I'm like, look, if you don't show me a screen, like I have no fucking idea what you want for me. Oh, interesting. What do you mean? Like, okay, it's $8. He's a generation. Here's two, right?

That's really good. It was $8. I gave you two. Oh, I see. But if you flipped an iPad around. But iPad is his generation because they're younger. Flip it around. He had to do the math.

I get to pick which one I want to get. How much I like you? 15, 20. Oh. The math. But I always do custom. Have you ever pressed custom? Yeah, I've pressed custom and I've gone way low on a custom

Yeah, yeah, no, I go high at custom Yeah, you don't have a... Do you try to make it very obvious you're clicking custom? Do you... Yeah, I show them my finger, everything. Come around here, come around here. Hey, there's custom. Yeah, yeah, come around.

Yeah, come around. Look at the iPad together. And I look in their eyes and I go, 3, 0, 0. Would you do this before you had money? Yes. Yes. I've always been like that. Because it's like you have to act like you.

And when you're cheap like you. I'm not cheap. I'm confused. Yeah. Like tonight, for instance. Okay. Okay. I would like you to tip well.

Okay. He's going on date with his girlfriend. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Where? Bevel. Bevel.

Oh, that place is good. They have the good mushroom kebab. Yeah, yeah. Mushroom, okay. Mushroom kebab. And then the duck hummus. Yeah. Yeah.

It's really good. That'll take some convincing to order, but I'll do it. No, no, you have to eat the dot com. I'll do it, I'll do it. Yeah. But so a tip. But here's the thing. Okay.

I'm paying for it. Yeah. Allegedly. You're paying for it? Yeah, I give him money to take her on. Oh, okay. That's how generous. I was already going to, let me tell you.

But you were going to tip poorly. I was. No, no, no, no. I already, I have all the facts now. All right? I have all the facts that I need, right? Right? And I know now, right, that I had to do it.

Because if on your own, you know what I mean, cognitive behavior, okay, you would have cheapened, you would have been cheap. Mm. Yeah. Yeah. So what I'm telling you now is act, give them, you know, if it's $8 park and give them the $20. Right. So if the bill comes out, $200. If you're lucky.

Tip 100. No. Yeah, you might have to dip into your own funds after. Yeah. I mean, if it's $200. dollars, which is not, because I know the restaurant. Okay, but it's gonna be way more. More?

Yeah, Bevella is inexpensive. It's very expensive. Okay, okay. Yeah. So, so we're gonna be more, right? I will say also you paid, which is very, very nice. Thank you. Thank you.

But the, the, you also. So you're, you are setting me up. I'm like, okay, I gotta make sure to navigate correctly. Well, I don't want to, I gave him the money first, and I want to go, we're going to McDonald's. You know what I mean? And then he's popping.

I can tip a lot at McDonald's. They don't tip there. You go to McDonald's for dates? No, but you know, you go to, like, not McDonald's, but you know, Jitlada. Chipotle. Yeah, Jolada is good. Yeah, that's not like expensive. Okay.

Anyway, tonight, you're going to tip well. Yeah. So the bill comes out is $300. You tip what? On 300, probably 80 to 100. And service there is pretty good. Yeah. It's a class.

What happens if there's a waiter? that you don't really like. You still give them a good tip as kind of a fuck you. Ask Collila that question. You guys have different philosophies. You double, you double the tip.

Double. Is that true? Yeah. Because I like that. You know why? Yeah. Yeah. Because they're probably having, yeah.

No, I honestly, I was like, they're probably having a really shitty day. And it's like, why not just reverse that for them? Because even if they like hate you and they're like something about this patron I hate or whatever,

they're not going to hate you after that. And also it's just like, it's mind boggling. You're doing a riddler. Yeah. You're a Batman villain kind of a move. Okay, your intentions are different. Hershey about someone's having a bad day.

Yeah, I was like, wait, where are you going? No, remember we were at that one restaurant, Ottery, right? And the waiter took my plate and he, as if he was skipping rocks on a lake. Right? The boiling water splashed. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It hopped around the table, right? And he just, like a frisbee threw it on the table. Yeah. Right? And I'm like, I got scalded. It's great. I think, yeah. I feel like you must have done something to get that.

No, no, no, no, no, no, it was BCD Tofu House. That's right, that's what, right. It was really late at night. Yeah. And him and I always go there. I think our bill was like 50 bucks. He gave, he tipped the guy a hundred bucks. And then he put a little smiley face on there.

I thought it was because you thought he was having a bad day. No, no, no, no, no, no, I told you. I told you. The Joker. That's my signature. Sigmia or whatever. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. But it, no, what did it is. Same move different reasons. Yeah. Same move different reasons. But I'm going to tell you, I'm going to get your head wrapped around this right now, okay? It's not that.

It's that I'm telling them next time, don't throw it in my face. Will they read that? What do you mean? With the smiley face, will they know that? I think that if you, he knows that he threw my dish like a disc, right? That I got scalded, all right? And then he sees my tip, and I think there's a feeling of guilt now. Yeah.

Of like, oh, and now when I go to like Soonen Dang or anything, they, they understand what the situation. Everyone creates a path By the door they're not I don't have to wait Yeah I mean there's Asian treatment there But that's still some type of control And manipulation They took our photo off of parks by the way

Well it was an unofficial photo Doesn't matter if they took it off Why? I don't know These fans us and get it back up And also they replace it with Seth Rogen What? So it is personal

That's not personal I love Seth No but I'm saying they took it off And replace like new celeb on there That's weird He's a new celeb? No, but like, oh, we're going to... This is not a freaks and geeks, Seth Rogen.

It's like, you know, I mean, now Seth Rogen. New celeb. Imagine if you saw it and the picture was replaced by a picture of jewels. That wouldn't make me feel... That's still family. Yeah, that would be cool. But it's like... Yeah, our photo was replaced.

It's fine. How do you know this? Someone told you? No, I was just there. I know exactly where it is. Yeah, I do too. And I think it was moved upstairs. Oh, I think that's what the thing is.

It's upstairs. Because I think I did look for a really long time, too. I still have. have one at the top corner with Stephen You. That's the OG, the fan That's the fan with the fan put on. Yeah, which is a good But that's upstairs now. It's fine. I don't know where This guy. Two pictures up on parks.

The story behind this is that usually they'll take a picture of the person who is dining there, the celebrity who's dining there. With the owner. That wasn't the case for us. We would go there every week thinking that they would ask us at some point. They never did. And then we talked about it on the show And the fan just printed a photo and just stuck it on the wall. Well, he pulled off a fucking other person's photo. The Instagram photo. Yeah.

And then put that photo on the wall. Oh, look, but dumbfounded's on top of us. No, he's gone too. He's gone too. Yeah, yeah. They changed it. I think that like when new BTS-E kind of people going there, they do it with relevancy.

Yeah. You know what I'm up there? Is our star meter down? I really think it is. I think it is. Yeah, yeah. Which is fine. I think it is.

It doesn't really make me, you know. Yeah. But when they completely take my photos off the wall, I might have to stop going there. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I think I might have to stop going there. But is that trivial and like a baby?

I mean, I don't know. I'm kind of a, I can be a bit of a, I mean, I don't want to use the word diva, but I think that that would, I think it's valid. Diva response. What do you mean? My photos off the wall.

I'm not going to show up. Yeah. Took my photo off. You don't want me. You know what? I'll have, I'm going to take my glasses back off. There's another thing I'm butt hurt about. Can I try those? Yeah.

To cover my cross eyes. Okay. Your eyes are actually less crossed. Oh my God. It has a grade in them. Yeah. You're so blind. I know.

Wait, are you, were you lying to me last night? What do you mean? Tell the story, Jules, in detail. Because he was like, you got to find my eating glasses. No, I have three of these. And my favorite ones that don't have a yellow shade, I'm missing. Oh. Oh, I just saw them.

You had them on yesterday. No, those are other ones. Oh, okay. Yeah, thank you so much. You have the rounds. Yes, and Luke, that's why you're in. I think I know where they are. Where?

I think I saw them when I was upstairs. They're not upstairs. You sure? Yeah. Okay. We looked. Yeah. Also, you know, you're not doing a great job.

Well, I have a question for you. When you go on a date, are you clocking how much the person you're on a date with is tipping? Do you ever reckon? Do you ever reckon? You ever go, oh. Wow. I always want to look. You do.

And I feel like it's bad because I compare them to Tito Bobby. That's a crazy standard. That's why. No, that's not bad. I think that's good. That's good. It's not a crazy standard. It's not a crazy standard.

My standard? Yeah. How much do you judge where someone takes you on a date? Or do you not care, really? I mean, as long as they don't take me to, like, McDonald's, like him. But something, there's something huge about McDonald's. Yeah, yeah. There's something nice about McDonald's.

I think if you've been together with them. for a while, then yeah, that's fine. But if it's like a first date and you take me to McDonald's. Or this, Jill's worse yet. Why don't we just go on a walk on a beach? I'll bring some coffee. What about a movie? No, the movie dates are so bad for first dates because you don't even interact with them.

You don't talk to them. You're just watching the movie. Yeah. So you just show up at the, like, I'll meet you there. And then go in, watch the movie. And afterwards, you go bye. Yeah, that's. I mean, there's no before and after.

A lot of. Let's get ice cream out. After or? Yeah, ice cream after. Yeah. Or what do you think? When someone says dinner in a movie, do you expect dinner before or dinner after? There has got to be dinner.

I think dinner before is way more normal. Dinner after is like so weird to me. I think I think Luke's right. Why would you everything after? Yeah, because you have to be able to break the eyes before sitting in for two hours next to a stranger. Yeah. I'm going to eat popcorn. I'm going to get sick.

I'm going to get popcorn belly. Also, you can get out. Yeah. You can get out of the. Once you have the dinner, you can get out of the movie. Yeah, yeah. And then you're by yourself watching soup. Supergirl.

Have you ever done that? Yeah, you still go to the movie? I'd still go. What would be your excuse to get her out? Like, oh, you know. No, she will go, you know what? I had a good time, but I just don't, I'm not vibing. So, and I'd just be sitting in the movie by myself.

When I went on my first date with my current girlfriend before, we were first date, I had a plan to try and get out of it. But I'm a bad liar. So I was like setting up the plan too much to her where I was like, hey, like, we'll go get dinner. But just, you know, I might get tired. Like, I don't know. I might be feeling tired.

Who said that? I said that to her. Why? Why? Why? Because the plan was we were getting drinks and then I was taking her to my friend's birthday party and she was going to meet all my friends. Me and her I'd never met before.

We were going to meet for the first time. Then she was going to be every single one of my friends, everyone I know. And I told someone this plan and they were like, that's psychotic. And it might be a totally crazy girl and you're going to be screwed. If you, like, what do you have to figure out a plan. Maybe say you skip the birthday party at the drinks and then you'll go. She'll leave and you'll go. So then I'm telling her, hey, I might skip the birthday party

just so you know. Setting it up a little too much. Then, of course, she showed up, and I realized that I had played my hand totally wrong. She was the one who was going to leave, and I had to pivot everything. No, no, stay. Stay, stay. Stay, stay. Okay, yeah. Because you met her on a dating app. Yeah, Raya.

Oh, wow. Raya. Yeah. What? He was on Raya. How did you get on Raya? I lied on my application. What did you say? I said I was a film producer.

You said he was a Franco brother. I was a Franko brother. The underdeveloper. Yeah. The underdeveloper. Yeah. I was going to talk about Franco brother. I see.

Yeah. Wow. How do you, people like you get on Raya? It offends me to the utmost. You're not on it? You know what? It took me months to get on it. Can I just say, thank God for the looks of the world who actually get in there and lie,

because Raya is full of old predators. and a lot of young, gorgeous girls, and you old f***s. You old f***. Money and whatever. Okay, can I just defend TFL brothers? Who is a TFL brothers? The total losers. A total f***le.

That is so much worse. Because I love them. Because I relate to them. I love them. Don't you love them? Yes. Yeah, because I have empathy for them. I'm very, yeah.

Yeah, Alex, what's up? Nice. Don't get it. You're not, all right, but I am. And I feel like once you're a part of this movement, you never leave. You're not part of that movement. I am. But you're not.

I was in my 20s. You're not. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because there's a, oh, you guys are not getting it. Like, you have relationships and friendships with women already that this qualifies you right out the gate. You're trying to say loser, not, not. No, no, what I'm saying is that I was in so many unrequited love situations and a lot of limerence. And I never got that back, you know, until I started doing stand-up.

Right? And that's how I was able to, like, be attractive in front of women. But my point being is that there's a lot... I think the standards are... Has should have shifted a little bit. What do you think? In what way? What are you talking about?

I'm just saying that I've seen a lot of things like, yeah, my guy needs to be six to. He's got to make... I hate that, by the way. I hate that. He's got to make $350,000 to $500,000 a year. He needs to be cleanly. He needs to be a Christian. Like, all these things.

And it's like, guys are out there like, I'm... I hit one of those things, but it's like, you know, you're not perfect either. Yes. And it's like you kind of lower your standards a little bit. No, no, no. No, it's not, it's not like you're not perfect either. I mean, it is generating, I think, a couple, there's some femme cells out there. There's some, I think ladies, you start to get too messy.

Now you're mad at men who aren't six to making $350,000 a year, blah, and then it makes other men even more mad. It's like a, like, we don't always date for, like, you know, love. or six, there are some height elitists out there. You're an exception to the... No, that's not sure. That's not sure.

I am not an exception to the rule. There's many girls that I know who are gorgeous, successful, or whatever. And they operate just like me. It's like if you're kind, you're safe. You're not a fucking total loser and you're not an insale and you're kind to women.

You have friendships with women. Yeah. We'll date you. That's not the narrative. But you like Pixar-y people. You know what I'm from Montrazing. You're now dating Moana. I mean, you have this like, you know what?

I mean, animation-y, you don't think that your boyfriend or your husband to be or whatever you call him, right, is not a CGIed version of whatever a Polynesian person is. He's gigantic. I don't think. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's not a normal guy. You think I look like the little one, Billy Crystal version of the Ponzerzik. A lois. Yeah.

Or a minion. Yeah, you like animated weird looking people. No. You're not the exception to the rule. I don't think so. Yeah, yeah. You pick, you know what I mean, in a different way. I think my girlfriend is that way.

She's like, I was just never really into, like, she doesn't like white dudes. That's my girl. Yeah, yeah. You know, her and I've always gone along with a lot of things. And she's, you know, she grew up with, in the Midwest, around a lot of white dudes. And she's like, and she's like, some racism or whatever, this and that. And she's like, yeah, I'm not into that. You know what I mean?

But there's so many women that are like that. No, they're not. On my TikTok. Are my TikTok? No. Remember, that's TikTok. Yes. Guys and girls.

I think they're the same. When Scott Galloway talks about a certain percentage of men on, you know, Tinder or whatever, right? Get, you know, I mean 90% of the likes from women, right? And the rest of them are fucked. I think that's the problem, though. There's a narrative online that that is what women are saying, but most women in real life usually aren't like that.

That's what I'm saying. It's like if you're listening to these. But there is a narrative online that is saying that. And I think that is causing a huge problem. I think it's causing, it's worsening the problem because it's like you're either on this side or this side, right? And I think there's a lot of space in between. If you touch grass, you live your life outside, you'll find that people are reasonable about their dating needs. And I don't think, I think you'll be hard pressed to find a woman who'll be like, no, he has to be this, this, this, this.

We just want safety for you to be fucking kind, for you to be like a steady provider and to just not be a f*** dickhead. Like, that's really it. That's really it. I'm going to be, if I'm a steady provider and I'm doing all this other shit, I am going to be a dickhead and that's going to be fine, okay? That's the deal. That is the fucking deal, okay? How many things do I have to do?

That is too much. I'm sticking with dickhead too, I think. Yeah. That's not you. On Hinge or Tinder, you do filter people by height, by, you know, religion, by certain things where people do get, you know, you get bumped out. The online dating kind of makes it worse. What?

Because of all the filters. Yeah. In fact, all my hinge and Raya dates never really worked out. I met my girlfriend in the wild. You also pick the craziest girls to go on dates with. Ooh. What do you mean? What did you mean?

What? Explain jokes because I agree. You pick either like a drug addict or like a... You filter for a drug addict? Yeah, that's good. Yeah, yeah. Or like an alcoholic. You picked all red flags.

Yeah, but I didn't know those things. That's not on the profile. Did you sense it deep in your heart? Well, you're at dinner and you're like, I think you're drinking a whole bottle. Cool, yeah. And she knows I'm sober. Yeah.

It's cool. Yeah. Like, I'll have the whole bottle, please. Like the most expensive kind. And you're like, and you're like, yeah. I said, that's fun. Yeah. And then, you know, they'll say strange thing.

Yeah. Yeah, I had this one day say, I just want to let you know, I've never had a climax before. and I'm like, what do you mean? She's like, I just can't get there in any way. And I go, that's weird. Is that not weird?

Not one point? A lot of women. What? Not a great response from you. I didn't say that out loud. Oh. Yeah, that's an internal point. What did your face do, though?

What? So say it. Okay. I just want to let you know I've never climaxed before. That's so creepy. Bobby's taking his glass up. Wow. Bulging his eyes out of his head.

But Jules, you are correct. What? I think in her assessment of, like, people that you've dated until, thank God, we're all relieved. You're with who you're with now. But prior to that, it was like, hello. Yeah. There was a string where I was like, you would tell us. I was like, damn.

Even Gilbert and Alex are like, well, hello. Yeah. Yeah. Do you do the dating apps at all? No, because they're just like. But you also don't go outside your room. That's why I want to meet. Yeah.

Like people right now. You're lazy. Yeah. Yeah. No, she has like medic. She's like fatigued. Yeah. She's something going on where you're just sleeping on the on the couch.

How do you sleep out there? It's so comfy. Okay. She has like thyroid, you know. But at three in the morning, I'm like, I'm going to go get some new water or whatever. And then she's just like. I have seen you in a weird position. Yeah, but also the lights are on.

Yeah. The TV's on and she's just asleep. You know what I mean? And I'm like, you know, I just walk by. She's not going to wake up. She doesn't even wake up. Yeah, yeah. Baila, was the weirdest place you've seen her fall asleep in your entire life.

Oh, I have a whole carousel. I think of like a thousand pictures of different places Jules has fallen asleep. Yeah. Remember that? I showed it for your 18th birthday. In the car? Like all in different positions, crumpled in different corners of the world. Yeah, she can sleep anywhere.

One of the things I wanted to ask you guys was do you, what is the earliest memory of your life? Childhood? Childhood. The earliest, the first thing where you were like, I remember this. I remember. What is it? When I was like three or four years old, my dad goes, let's go. And we went into the car.

And I think my mom told him, like, you've got to spend time with him. Aw. You know what I mean? So we just sat in a park. You know what I mean? He go, run around, run around. You know what I mean? Something about myself running around in a circle.

And the Naruto? Or weapons? Like, just like this. My eyes couched out, just running on a circle. Right? And then I remember he yelled at me because I forgot my jacket there.

That's my first memory. Memory of your existence. Of my existence, yeah. How old were you? I don't have three. Yeah, I knew about weapons back then, you know? But I just remember that. They're not like fond memories, I think.

And it was all memories of survival or of how to like, you know, that's why right now I'm like when I feel danger I think of 20 different things to get me out of the situation I ruminate a lot and I think it all started then

because it was all about survival and like you know what I mean maybe disappear you know sometimes I remember like there was like a little forest in front of our house in Minnesota and we're waiting in the forest to see if my dad was home

and if he was at home I knew in my mind I was like if he went to bed he goes about around eight or nine then at nine I would come in. No one's looking for you? No, but my mom knew why. You know what I mean? I would just be sitting there in the forest.

Oh, that makes me so sad. Why? Look at me now. Because you're a little baby. Tetero or something. Yeah, yeah, like a Totero thing. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, so thank you for bringing that up.

Wait, what was your first, like, memory of your existence? I definitely have, like, memories of, like, parents fighting very young. Yeah. I hate that this is not, like, a pause. conversation, but you just kind of remember like, whoa. Like, I feel like most of your early memories are usually something where you're like, whoa. Because it's like that sticks the most. Yeah, you're kind of like, oh, shit.

You can't do that with yours. I know. You can't, you can't argue with, you know, Moana. You can't, you know, why? He doesn't look like him. You said. Moana is a woman. No, but that other guy in the rock, the rock.

Maui, whatever. No, he doesn't. What? He doesn't. Yeah, he does. He's a big guy. Okay, anyway. Anyway, so my point is, is this. That was it.

That was it. Yours, Jules? Meeting my stepdad and hating him. How old are you? I think five, six. The one you have now? Yeah. You didn't like him?

He was a lawyer. Yeah, doesn't... Wow. Look at his profession. I love him. Oh, lawyer. I mean, that's a good life. Why?

Because, like, how was he introduced? He was just like, oh, this is who? It was just in... I think it was, we were in a pool or something. and my mom was just like, oh, meet my boyfriend. I'm like, what? Yeah. And I just didn't like it.

And you were like, how long did it take? A couple months. Yeah. So I was like okay with him. You're okay. Because he's a good guy. Yeah, I like him a lot. What's he like now, though, to you?

You have love? Yeah. That's her dad now. That's her dad, dad, dad. Okay. Yeah. Wow, mine is so very, like, wholesome. You guys are going to love it.

It's very positive. Oh, let's hear it then. Well, everyone's so sad. Like the fight. and like not, mine was... Your mom used to punch you in the face. I know, I know. Let me tell you about the first time.

Let me tell you about the first time she punched me in the face. No, it, I think I must have been like two and a half or somewhere there, but it's just glimpses of a thing that I had to run, I had to ask my mom if this actually happened. I have this like weird memory of me trying to hide a drumstick, a chicken drumstick

under my pillow. That's insane. And I was like running around the house And everyone is chasing me and I was like, I got to hide this drumstick because I wasn't allowed to have it. And I hit it under my pillow. And I asked my mom, like, did that happen? And she was like, yeah, it was actually a really funny thing. Oh, that's a sweet one.

Yeah. Let me do a sweet one. That's what I wanted to hear from you guys. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, let's do a sweet one. Yeah. Let me think. Let me think.

Are not? Dad beat me? No, no, no. I was 29. Yeah. No, you know, I have memories because my brother changed. So I don't have, like, I don't, there's not a lot of, but I remember when he stopped drinking, you know, became a nice guy. You met him.

And, you know, I mean, he was just very funny. And, you know, it would get so excited when he came home to visit. And, you know, he had a couple of strokes, but he would just like hang out. We'd watch, you know, me boxing together. I think later in life, I connected with him way more, you know. but anyway. Do you ever come across people who like pose a problem? And they're like, this is the problem in my life.

And then they just love, they identify with that problem so deeply that they kind of don't need your advice. They just want to bitch and moan, bitch and moan about the same fucking problem all the time. I see, I see. And it's just like, hey, I actually kind of don't want to hear this anymore because it's like, I don't think you intend to change it. I think you're in love with this problem. I'm about to turn 55. Yeah.

Wow, incredible. The last birthday party was at the bowl. We threw it for you. Me and Dylan. Yeah, you guys threw it for me. Thank you so much. But 55s should be a big one. Oh, heck. Hey. I'm kidding.

But when you get older, you really think about death in a way that's not as scary. You kind of just accept it. Like, I know what's coming. Yeah. You know, I might have another 30 years, I might not. But it's like, why? I'm trying to be positive about it. No, no, I know. I'm not. Like you're a young kid.

Yeah, yeah. You have so much to experience. There's many parts of me that envy your experience, the struggle and, you know, and the grinding. I think about death all the time. Really? Oh, when you're 55, it's going to be a deficit. That's all you're going to be. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But, you know, you accept things, and I think I've accepted my life as it is completely, and I don't need anything more. And I think I'm fine, regardless of what happens. Wow. And I think that that's... Here, here. I think that comes with age. That's great. That's a great place.

And I wish I would have come to that realization much earlier. You know, not let things, you know, I felt so much, too much for ridiculous things. You know, like, why am I, like, in my past, like, why did I react that way? It turned out to be nothing. And I spent nights sleepless. Yes. And, like, ruminating. and me pacing and going,

it's over, it's over! Remember when you would have those random, like, pains right here? Yeah. I think it's from that. What do you mean? Remember, you'd be like, it feels like... Yeah, I used to get pains in certain parts of my brain. Yeah.

Because I was stressing out so hard. Yeah. Yeah. I got nothing. And, you know, and then you would get... It's just a lot of things, like, I was always destined to be what I am. Yeah.

And it's like none of the worrying, none of the things. I couldn't control it. And it's, you know, just so, you know, stop worrying everybody. It's going to be fine. Yeah, it's going to be fine. I do have one more question for you, though, Bobby, before we take off.

How do you feel about the fact that Alex has now garnered so much attention on the internet because it turns out a lot of people do not like the Beatles and actually agree with him? He has a whole series about Day 16 of trying to listen to the world's worst band. And a lot, he's like thousands of comments, agreeing with him. I've accepted it. And not only have I accepted it, let me change my tune.

What's going on? We're just working. Mark, yeah. Okay. Let me change my tune, Alex. You're not even focused on what I'm saying. This is fucking incredible. Okay.

Let me change my tune. A lot of people wear things, right, that I don't agree with. Look at this. Day eight of a motherfucker trying to get into the worst and most boring band ever, the Beatles. So he listens to a different song every day.

This post, okay. He made me so angry. This one made me so angry. Wait, who did it? Shirk Kane Sandoval. That's a boxer. Yeah, I know who that is. Someone said, yeah, let's pick the actor.

That's what I was saying. Like, he was listening to like, yellow submarine. Yeah, but that's because people are telling me to listen to that. Yeah, I'm telling you to watch, like Strawberry Fields. Have you listened to that song?

No, here we go. Look how many likes it says, 3,000 likes. And this says, The Beatles are the most overrated band of all time. Yeah, no, click on that. guy. Let's click on that guy. The tin man. Yeah, the tin man.

Oh, yeah, yeah. You know the funny? We love them. We love them. I think the funniest thing I get all the time is like, oh, you're not on mushrooms, so of course you wouldn't get it. Take some acid and get back. Why do I have to be drugged out to listen to this band? How dare you? You. We! Wait, hang on. Silence. How many views did that last one yet?

I think, oh, the last one. I think that one is like. like 300,000, 400,000? Oh, wow. Yeah, like Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds is like a song. Have you heard of that song? I love that one. You never listened to Lucy in the Sky with diamonds.

That's from the Beatles? Yeah. It's a psychedelic song. You know, it's a really good song. Place, I know we can't play. How about like Strawberry Fields? Strawberry Fields, Lucy and Sky with Diamonds. Norwegian Wood.

Norwegian Wood. That whole, was it on rubber or? I think so. Remember his new tape, which was England would win and they wouldn't even. They don't even play. the Beatles. I play Oasis. I know because it's like, it's a more modern

band. But what I'm saying is that they sing Hey Jude. That's what I only when they score. I feel like when you win the game, that would be the band that you'd play. But they play Oasis. They play Wonderwall? Yeah. Okay. Also, the Beatles is very connected to Liverpool.

Okay? And it's like there's soccer rivalry things and also regional rivalries. So maybe that has something to do with it. You fucking. Jabba the Hutt-Eye, motherfucker. Enough of you. Give me a list of stuff. All I know is that it's pretty even, and a lot of people agree with me.

Yeah, yeah, and I want to change my tune. It's like there's a lot of people that like certain things that I don't get, you know, and so that's the thing. Are you a Lincoln Park fan? No. And I was getting harassed terribly for this. In the car, I was on the road with Chappelle Lacey and Matt Lockwood. bunch of comments and Joel Jimenez, a bunch of people who love Lincoln Park. And it was nonstop Lincoln Park in the car. Yeah. And I wanted to blow my fucking. I think you and I.

And I'm sorry. And I'm sorry. No, no, Luke, I think you and I have the same musical taste. Okay, you don't like the case. No, because here's, when you said Trout Mask replica. Right. Right. That's such a specific, like it's like a Sid Barrett album. Okay. You know who's Sid Barrett is? No. You don't know who said Berrett. No. So Sid Barrett was a part of the member of Pink Floyd. Original members of Pink Floyd, but he went crazy. Okay. Nice. I'd kick him out of the band. I like that. Okay. So he did two solo album, right? Sid Barrett did. Okay. And then he stopped making music, I think. But that Captain B. Farf reference, to me, is so unusual. It's a guy that knows about music and wants to listen to stuff that's weird and different.

And I really thought that it was really pleasant. Do you like Mersbo? Yeah. Mersboe is awesome. Yeah, but, you know, and he likes, you know, just generalized, you know. Lincoln Park is like, I get it. First two albums. Okay, okay.

Anyway. Yeah, and people have every right to, you know what I mean. Okay, so that's that. Yeah. All right. Okay. And that's not a, you know, that has. That's not a, I'm not doing a Nazi salute there.

Okay. Right, good. Clarify. Take note of that. That's a pee-wee. That's a pee-wee. I got a good guest that we have, that I got a call today that he wants to do. Oh, yeah?

Yeah. Give us a hint. Billy Joel Armstrong from Greenland. Oh, my God. Love, love, love. And they're making it happen right now. You know what's so cute is that you don't remember this. But years ago, I know you're in the movie Nimrods, right?

years ago an old Tiger Belly studio old apartment he would send you coffee I know and then with that he sent you the PR package with a guitar pick yeah that I saved for you yeah do you still have it yeah okay

and I think I don't have it I was like you cannot lose this one because this is like a Billy Joel one so I still have the wringo bracelet though okay well but I think it's really cute that it's come full circle for you that now you're in the movie yeah because you never use

to believe that he was a fan of you. There's like there's no way. There's no way. No, I mean, no, I remember there were times where I would hang out with him, right? But it was like, we were kids from the early 2000s. Yeah.

You know, and it was like, you know, he didn't, they played, I think they did Mad TV maybe, and they, I don't know, I just kind of knew him around. I remember being at, I remember being at, cute, not, so cute.

That's us together, cute. But I remember being at, what's that, not Piquito Mots is another Mexican Baja Fresh I remember being about Baja Fresh There used to be one on sunset Near this comedy store, right?

I remember sitting there and the Strokes came in What? Yeah, and I remember hugging them and going, what's up? You know what I mean? Kind of hanging out and you know what I mean? Back then it was like that those things happened.

Yeah. They don't do that. Like L.A. has changed so completely. There was like not a vibe in that way. You know, did you like Dennis Hopper? You know where, you know, what's the hot dog train? Carnies.

Carnies, yeah. That used to be a dirt parking lot. And in the 50s, I guess Dennis Hopper got in a knife fight with somebody in that dirt parking lot. And I love stories like that of old Hollywood. Yeah. Where you would just run into things. What? Viper room.

Yeah, yeah, old vibe room. Yeah. Anyway, yeah, so that's a good guess. Anyway, yeah, there you guys are. And use his photo every time Bobby brings it up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So does not look like this. I promise you.

Yeah, he does. He's that shape. He's muscle shape. He's a photo. He's muscle shape. How tall is he? He's only 6-2. I say 6-3.

I say 6-3. He just looks big because his traps are huge. Oh, they see that little flex you just did? He's only big because of his traps. He's a big dude. I say that about myself. I look taller because of my traps. He also has a brown Santa Claus kind of face.

Yeah. Yeah, like very nice, it's kind. No, but his upper body is... I'm sorry, are we boring? No. Alex goes fishing with him. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Shut out. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah, I appreciate that. Anyway, what do we learn today? Here's a couple things I learned. Tip, tip more. Actually, you go first.

You go first. I don't learn anything. I don't think I did either, actually. Yeah, I didn't learn anything. Did you learn anything today? Tip, tip a lot of money. go on good dates yeah you gotta go on the date right now okay and uh you learn anything today no yeah me yeah okay anyway thanks for listening to our program yeah um you can see us in t pbs yeah and all your

broadcasting stations yeah and um k p la right la yeah and oh i did learn one thing no that's enough i did learn well no no what did you there are so many songs about rainbows yes yeah that's i learned that I was doubtful about that. I was. And the reason why I brought that even, that's one of my favorite songs of all time, Rainbow Connection. There you go. Now I learned another thing.

It really is the catchiest. I remember as a kid listening to it. I was nine because it 80, 1980 it came out. Nine. And I remember like seeing that little green thing. It's a frog, right? Yeah, Kermit, yeah. Yeah, Kermit the frog, right?

Yeah. I call it green thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he looks more like, you know, like a grasshopper. No. Yeah, yeah, he looks like grasshopper to me. But anyway, yeah.

I like how, Herman of the grasshopper. My son, you call it a thing, a green thing. My son calls it something so funny because it's what Jules taught him. He doesn't say frog. Yeah. What does he say, Jules? Cukukukuk. What's a Kuok.

Because it's a Filipino frog sound. Oh, cock, coq, it's not ribbit, it's coca, cock, coq, yeah. That's funny. Or if animals sound different there. They do. Yeah. What's that in the Philippines? Oh, God.

What is that? Philippines. What animal is that? Cicada. A bat. A bat. You guys have huge bats. Oh, we do have the big bats.

Yeah. Yeah. I hope it gets you. I hope it gets you too. It gets you back. I learned nothing, but thanks for listening to the program. Good night. Good night.

Oh, bula, you, macabolulu.