Trading Secrets - 331. Jessie James Decker on Building a $60M Brand, Overcoming Imposter Syndrome & Why It’s “Never No”

Episode Date: September 14, 2026

Jessie James Decker has built a career by refusing to stay in one lane. From country music and reality TV to fashion, fitness, publishing, and entrepreneurship, Jessie has turned her creativity into a growing business empire—and she joins Trading Secrets to break down how she did it. Jessie opens up about growing up with very little, the childhood experiences that still drive her to prove herself, and the financial mistakes she made early in her career. She shares the money lessons she learned from her husband, Eric Decker, why surrounding yourself with people who are smarter than you can be a game changer, and how her biggest weaknesses have become some of her greatest strengths. She also gets candid about building Kitnish into a $60 million business, recognizing when she needed to step away from the CEO role, and why giving up operational control was one of the hardest—and smartest—business decisions she made. Plus, Jessie reveals how she built a fitness community of nearly 40,000 subscribers, why authentic content is outperforming highly produced social media, what she thinks is missing from today's music industry, her experience on Dancing With the Stars, and the money and relationship rules that have helped her and Eric navigate their careers together. And she leaves us with her ultimate Trading Secret: “It’s never no.” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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She's built her name as a country and pop artist than something arguably bigger, a lifestyle business empire spanning from fashion, fitness, cookware, publishing, and more. It's Jesse James Decker. Jesse signed her first record deal as a teenager, got dropped and kept going, releasing a string of albums and EPs while starring alongside her husband, former NFL wide receiver Eric Decker on E. Eric and Jesse game on. Somewhere in the middle of touring and raising four kids, she turned a six-piece online clothing drop into Kittnish, a global fashion brand,

now relaunching with a major wholesale partner and heading into Nordstrom, Macy's, and Coles. She's also a multi-New York Times bestselling author with a cookline at Walmart and a new family cookbook on the way, The Secret Sauce, a family cookbook seasoned with love, co-written with her mother, Karen Parker, and her sister, Sidney Ray Bass, spotlighting the family's southern, Sicilian, and Cajun roots. We got so much to cover here, Jesse. This was just a small snippet of your long resume, but thank you so much for being on trading secrets.

Thank you. I'm excited to be here. I got to tell you, Jesse, on this show, we have had billionaires, we've had Hall of Fame athletes, massive industry experts. I'm going through your resume. I could say confidently in 300 plus episodes, we've never had someone this multi-hyphenated with this much depth in their career. Your resume, it's truly incredible.

A question I got for you is when you look forward on the career and financial side of the business, you've achieved so much. When you look forward, though, what are some career aspirations and financial aspirations that you're still dreaming of, even though you've accomplished this much so far? I think people like myself, people like you, other people in the business were just built so differently. I don't know that there's ever that finish line. I just, I don't know that it exists.

I think I know a lot of people like me, like you. It's like we just keep going. There's always, okay, we'll get to that place and then it's like, you get hungry for the next thing. We're always just so driven. We're always looking to create. We're always looking to build. I just think I built differently and I, and I always will. I don't know that there's a finish line for me. I don't know that there's ever really an end goal. I've said that about many things in my life. I just want to get to this and then I'll be good. But then I got to go to the next thing. Who knows what it is? There's just something inside me that can never sit still. and it's a positive. I'm a busy body. My mind's always going. I'm a very creative person,

but loaded question, loaded answer. I don't know that I have that finished line in my mind. Yeah. And I think that's part of your secret sauce. I think one of the things I think about is for so long in my career being in finance, I was kind of held in a bubble. And that bubble is terrifying because it's like you, I want to bounce here and try this. And so I get motivated every day to be like, I never want to have to be in that bubble again where I have to rely on a large corporation, to have me to live the life I want. Do you have like that one motivation that like you're tired, you're down, you're out, you're being an unbelievable wife and a mother, all these things, you got all this stuff going on? What's that one thing that's like the driver? Is it money? Is it

success? Is it identity? Is it freedom? What is it for you? I think about this a lot. And a lot of times, I think I'm almost embarrassed to say it. I think our childhood and all of us really builds the person we are in our walking lives and our adult lives. And, There is something I'm sure along the way that made me feel like I always have to prove myself. And even if I get a huge amount of success, it still feels like, no, I haven't proved them wrong enough. And I don't know if that's healthy. I don't know what it is. Of course, my family drives me, but they love me and they love me unconditionally.

And my husband's my best friend in the whole world. And he always thinks I'm the best. but there's something internally that probably happened in my childhood that makes me feel like I just have to keep proving myself. I have to just keep going the extra mile to prove to myself that I can do it, to prove to the ones that said I couldn't. It's that's honestly a big driver. And sometimes it's embarrassing to say that because I don't know how healthy that is, but I know I'm not alone in that. I know that a lot of people and our jobs and our positions, that is a big driver. I mean, look at the Facebook movie. At the very, end, he goes to look at the girl that dumped him. It's like, it's bizarre, right? It's what it, there's things like that that make us tick in this daily life in our adulthood. But I think I'm always trying to prove myself. And I don't know that that will ever go away. Yeah, I think everyone has some kind of trauma. There are things that have happened in their life that shape them, right? And I think the healthy thing is that it's been able to be used in such a productive way, right, to change your life,

to change your family's life, to change the impact you're making on the people that work for you and are inspired by you. So to me, it's like that, I think that vulnerability is so healthy because it's been done and used in such a productive light, which is pretty cool. The laundry list of accomplishments is long here, but another one you're adding to the list, October 6th, the secret sauce comes out, says, this family cookbook, season with love, co-written by your mother and your sister. I heard on a podcast, you said that your mom's favorite chapter was the foundation of youth, this chapter of foundation of youth, which I thought was pretty cool.

And then I was some researching for this podcast. I'm looking at 21. You have this major record deal, your Billboard charting album. And I was thinking about her favorite chapter, Foundation of Youth, and you at 21, accomplishing these things that most people don't accomplish in their lifetime.

If you had to give that 21-year-old version of you, financial and career advice, knowing what you know today, what advice would you give that 21-year-old version? You're on the right path. And to continue listening to your instincts, I've always been one of those that is very intuitive. And I can feel a shift in a room.

I can feel a shift in a person. It's never, ever let me down. And I think I would go back and tell that 21-year-old keep listening and everything that you're feeling, everything you're doing, you're on the right path. You know, things are going to happen. Things will fall apart. you're going to obviously meet a lot of boundaries and bearer or spread, but don't let it get in the way and

just keep going. I've always been that way. There's really nothing that can slow me down or stop me. It's just, it's not in my DNA. I don't know how to quit. I don't know how to stop. I'm always a hustler. I'm always a fighter. And I would just tell that young girl, just keep going. Keep going. I love that. And I love the fact that you just keep whatever it is, whatever direction you're going to keep going. Any financial advice, though, like any big mishaps or learning lessons that you'd give that 21-year-old version yourself. You know, money and money and numbers are never really the sweet spot for a lot of musicians or creatives, right? It's always, you spend what you make because in that moment you need it for a performance or you need it for this. I was never the best with money. And so I don't know that

this is the best advice, but in my case, marrying my husband, this is like his total bread and butter. He is brilliant when it comes to money and finances. Like, this is his skill set. Obviously, I can't say go marry someone that that is great at that, but trusting the people around you, if this is not your expertise, this is not something you're naturally gifted at. I never was. I was in gifted, creative writing in literature, but I was in like the math. I was failing math. Like total opposite sides of the brain here, right? I could get up and read a poem and have written it in two minutes and just crush it and then failing math. So for me, I knew that that was a weakness. So being aware that it's your weakness and you don't know everything, you know, and trusting the right

people around you to help guide you because it really does matter. You can make a lot of mistakes and really put yourself in a very deep hole. And I had those moments with a credit card got declined. I had the moments where I didn't know how I was going to pay rent. And luckily, once I met Eric, I learned so much. I learned a ton about finance and how to save and how to invest. And I remember Arod actually telling us, I love taking advice from all kinds of people of me saying to him, you know, I have all this money here and I, and but I don't, I don't want to touch it. I just wanted to sit there. He's like, yeah, but I want you to imagine. Imagine putting a hundred dollars in a, in an envelope underneath your bed. And every year that you don't touch it, it just dwindles down.

Now, imagine investing in that it turns into 200, turns it to 300, turns into 400, having things explained to me in that way, it has truthfully helped me so much. But taking advice from those that know more than you, always being in the room with people smarter than you, especially in something that is your weakness. That's my advice. It's great advice. We had Arod on the show, and I love how his mom was his manager negotiating his first deal. And like, again, like his relationship with money and investing stems a lot from his

childhood and learning and seeing the way that his mom just completely scrap by to get where she got, and that's how he got where he got. And I think it's good advice. The other thing, I'm like sensing a theme. There's only been a couple questions here, but there's this theme that your vulnerabilities end up becoming your superpowers, like your ability to be like, listen, I suck at finance. I don't know finance. At times I couldn't pay rent, but I know how to ask people, right? Like, hey, this fires me up. It pisses me up. But I know how to channel it and change my life with it. That's a pretty cool theme. Talking about Arod's mom made me think about your mom's chapter. Sarah, what about your mom? Like, what's the best piece of career or money advice that your mom has

given you that's, that shaped you? So like Alex, my mom was very scrappy. You know, there were times where we were on food stamps. I remember moments of being at McDonald's watching my mom with her palm counting pennies and realizing she wasn't going to be able to order herself something to eat for dinner that night. I, I remember her being extremely smart, extremely crafty when it came to making ends meet, making food stretch. She added rice with everything. Like, this little thing, she was always really smart in making sure that we had everything we needed. But, you know, my mom never, I don't think I realized it till I was older how little we had because she always had such a positive attitude and always looked on the bright side.

And I think I had taken that a lot with me when things get hard. It's like, well, it could be worse. Well, this could be happening. Or look at how wonderful life is we're waking up. The birds are seeing. The sun is shining. You know, we have air in our lungs. That sort of outlook on life I have taken from my mother and always have gratitude.

I can tell you there's a lot of things I'm not great at, but one thing I'm very good at is gratitude. I am so unbelievably grateful for this life because they know what it's like to not have the blessings that I have today. And so every single day, I truthfully have a mom or I'm just like, I feel so grateful. I feel so blessed. I have four healthy children. I have a husband. I love so much. I don't have to worry about counting pennies in the palm of my hand.

All of those things I take with me on a daily basis. And so my mother was extremely positive. She still is a just people meet my mother and they're like, she's an incredible woman. She is. She is just the sunshine of so many people's lives. and she worked really hard for all of us and always kept things positive. Yeah, it's amazing perspective. And I think it's how cool that you get to do a project like this with your mom and that

you got a chapter like the fountain youth. If everyone's listening here, go October 6 is when this book drops. So go check it out. There's an old philosophy, I feel like that you probably felt, especially early on in your career with music, this philosophy of like, you got to do one thing. You got to do one thing and you got to be good at it. And one of it looks like one of your biggest contemplations was going pop culture or country music. That was the biggest curveball at that time.

You now look at the way you've managed your career into all. I mean, you have restaurant ownership, entrepreneurship, you know, fashion, fitness community. It's just massive content career. Like, we usually have people on this podcast to do one of those things and kill it. But you've done this without a career niche, if you will. I know there's a lot of people listening to that Struggle Wolf imposter syndrome. And they also struggle with saying, like, I can't do this because I still need to be the expert at this. What advice do you have for them knowing, like, that's not the path that you took?

I have been told that my entire career that I needed to stay focused and pick one thing. And that always really bothered me because I always felt like it was a very boxed in small way of thinking. Why can't I do everything that I want to do? why can't I be graded a lot of things? I've always really hated, and I'm going to use the word hate, hated that thought process because I've been told it so much and I've never understood it. Did someone tell Jennifer Lopez that? Did they tell Jolly Parton that?

Look, what if all these women just stayed boxed into doing one thing? They wouldn't be the powerhouses that they are today. I think that if you have a dream and you have a creative vision and you have the ability to make it happen, why wouldn't you? I have so much creativity and so many different ways that I want to express myself. I feel like it would take away the magic from the way my mind works. And I feel like it would kill the light too. You know, I love being able to do a lot of things. And yes, early on in my career, I remember being told by different labels that they didn't want to sign me because, well, she's on reality TV. Well, she's doing this. And I think to be in this industry where they're trying to

encourage women so much. I felt like it was a contradiction to be completely honest to tell me early on in my career. And I think I was a little ahead of my time with wanting to explore and venture out and do all kinds of things. I think it was a contradiction to be trying to lift women up in this music industry so much while telling me that I needed to stay boxed in. And I never listened to it. And I'm able to do things like a couple weeks ago, record a Christmas song with Jody Messina. and play the opera, you know, next month. And I can also have a clothing line now at Macy's and go cut the ribbon with them next week. Like, I don't understand that thought processes you can't have it all because I certainly think that you can.

And I would always, always encourage women and anyone, not just women, but for anyone, you could have it all. Anything that you want, your dreams can come true. And that's something my mom always said when people would say, well, that only happens to a very small percentage. And my mother would say, well, if it's got to happen to someone, why not her? Why not you? It's got to happen to somebody. Well, you be that percentage then, you know? It's a good attitude to have.

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were told you were supposed to do it. Going back to the imposter syndrome, I have to imagine when you did step into a new space, you kind of felt a little bit of like, okay, I'm not taking the advice they told me to. I'm stepping into the new world. I'm still going to step it. Screw it. But I'm still dealing with that kind of internal, like the nerves associated with it. Did you deal with it? So how do you overcome it? Oh my goodness. I think I feel that way a lot about a lot of different things because I'm not an experts, you know, I'm a jack of all trades. And what is it? Jack of all trades, master at none.

Is that the, is that right? I think you're like jack of all trades and master of some. You have a unique. Well, you know, you're on time. I will say, it's funny, my kid asked me the other day in the car, one of my kids said, mom, what would you say, like, I have all the things that you do? What would you say you're like the professional at? Like, what is the thing that you think you are like, this is your thing?

And so when I think about the master, I would truly say I'm a master at being a singer and a vocalist. I know it from top to bottom. I can walk into any room and have 100% confidence, 100% and not a doubt in my mind that I'm there to do what I need to do. And I know exactly how to do it from A to Z. So I would say that is what I'm a master at, even though a lot of people maybe wouldn't feel that way because they don't see me on the road touring like I used to and doing all the things. I've been able to write my life the way that I want it right now. But I like a lot of things and I think that I'm good at a lot of things. And so I may not be a chef, but I know how to get in the kitchen and whip you up

anything you want if you need something. And I am not a certified trainer, but I can take you through a 30 minute workout class, you know, and show you the way. I do feel like I love being good at a lot of things. But I don't think that I'm a master at all of them. But music is definitely what I think I know. I like it. I like it. Master. Does that go back to your question? I kind of lost. I don't remember what the question was.

Music is like where you're provide. I like the analogy is also with your kid who asked you. And then you're just like, I think that's where I master music. I, the one question, I just would be remissed if I didn't get the answer just because I think people can really learn from you is when you're stepping into these worlds that you're not the trainer, right? You're not, but you're there and you have a fitness app with tens of thousands, 30,000, all these people that want to be part of it. So you're stepping into places that technically you don't have the certifications or the education or maybe the long list of experience. Your competitors do, but you step in and you crush it. I know for myself and I also know for the listeners that write in and stuff, they deal with imposter syndrome when they do that. Like, I feel like I don't belong.

You clearly overcome it. So give them a trading secret. How do they overcome it? How do you overcome it? I would say I would take the whole idea that you have imposter syndrome out of your brain. And if you want to do four different things, I want you to remember. they all have one thing in common and that is you. You are, you are the connector. You are the top of the pyramid. You are the center. You are the, you know, the trunk to the tree. You may have all

these different things that you do, but everything comes down to that one thing in common and it's you and your voice. So I would take imposter syndrome out and, and realize you don't need to be insecure or lose confidence that you're stepping into a world you may not know because every little thing you're stepping into has that one thing and that is you that is your voice that is your creativity that is your energy it is what you are bringing to it which is why for me i do a lot of these things but i have stopped feeling a little i used to i used to walk into a situation be like i don't know if i fit in here i know a little bit about it but i don't know a lot i have thrown that off the window I don't feel that way anymore.

I walk into any situation that I'm doing going, hey, that's okay that I don't know everything. I'm going to ask a lot of questions because I love being in the room with people smarter than me and I love to educate myself as much as possible. I'm young. My brain is young and I want to just take everything in. But also, I'm not going to have, I'm not going to lose confidence because I'm in this room because I deserve to be in this room and I've earned being in this room.

And they all have that one thing in common and that is me. And that's a trading secret in itself because the laundry list. of things that go under you, and to anybody listening that go under you, is a whole lot greater than a list of credentials that might make you a niche in a space. And I think that's a great trading secret. It's you that's the differentiator, not your certification, your license, or more years experience. When you think about all the businesses that you've been part of, how about financially, which has been the most fruitful for you? Outside of like branding partnerships, because I think you and I both know that that's a hard one to touch. It's crazy that we're in a world. We're in a

world, like with all the experience you've had and everything, that, like, content creator game is like the biggest game. Like that is, isn't that wild? Mr. Wonderful was asked that recently. They asked him, what do you think is the highest paying job right now? And he's a content creator, because it is. It truly is. I don't even love calling it that. I like calling it. I'm old school, a spokesperson. I think I'm a really great spokesperson for things that I believe in. I don't ever, ever sign my name up to something I don't like or don't believe in. I just happen to like a lot of things. I'm a person. I'm a mother. I hit a lot. So I love and appreciate a lot of things.

But other than that, I would truly say my Fit app has blown me away. Which you just launched it. So tell everyone a little bit of my idea. I launched my fitness app in June, which is very, very recent. And we're all, we're about right under 40,000 subscribers. And I mean, it has just, it has been unbelievable, to be completely honest. I think what's exciting about it, the retention has been insane too really not even getting people dropping out which is while

that usually happens quite a bit what's amazing about it is i yes it's about the workouts and the exercises that i do these are things that i've done throughout the years um i've had four kids i i've gained 55 pounds and lost it i've i've done the work i've you know i know what it's like to not feel like yourself. But all that aside, what I think has been interesting about the app is it's so much more than that. It's like a, it's a group of women that are motivating each other. We're all, we're all in this together. It's like a, it's hard to explain. It's a very special group of women. It's, it's so much more than just the exercises. I truly believe it is a movement. And I'm feeling it and I'm seeing it. It is a group of women who are like-minded. It's a support system. It's a support

system. It's truly a club of incredible badass women that are leaning on each other and inspiring each other from all walks of life, all ages, all phases. I mean, it's just been truly special to be to be a part of this and being the cheerleader and champion of this group of women. It's been amazing. Yeah, it's been from the sidelines. I've seen it. I've watched it. I've seen your content of different chapters and changes you've gone through. And it feels like just someone outside looking in what's been created. is like much more like you said than a fitness app, but like a community where people are seen

irregardless of like where or what stage they're at in life. And you can get your fitness there and you can learn how to make changes. But it just feels like a really strong community that's like centered around something that's positive. And like it doesn't matter how much you're moving in a day. You're moving the chains forward in some level. Because I think I saw you post about like you just couldn't believe the growth. And when I saw that,

I was like that to me, that's just like it's a community. It's like you're touching more, and I think that's a trading secret for any business person out there. When you can touch someone's emotions in like a really, really authentic way,

everything is going to grow at a faster rate than when you're just getting focused on numbers. And I think that's, and you know that on the head, I think that that's what's been kind of surprising about this. This kind of fell into my lap. If anyone follows me and they have all these years, they know that I love fitness.

They know this is like just a part of my life. This is what I do. I always love being in. shape. I'm always active. Eric and I are always working. Like, that's just who we are. But it finally fell into my lap to actually create something. I got a lot of times these things happen just because I'm very in touch with my audience. The cookbooks happen because people are asking for recipes. I want recipes. I want recipes. Share these things. And then the fitness app happened. Like, what are the workouts? What are the workouts? Like, you're gatekeeping. Tell us what you do.

And I think that this has been one of the most surprising chapters of my life. I truly believe when you close one door, another opens. And I had closed the chapter on another business in my life, not close. I don't want to say closed, but I had transitioned one of my businesses. And it gave me the ability to get creative again and put my heart and soul into this program, to this, to this app. And yes, I didn't think anything about numbers. I didn't think about the finances, even though maybe I should.

Maybe I'm supposed to add it. That wasn't a thought, which is why I actually priced it extremely low. One of the most competitive prices I've ever seen, actually, for a fitness app. That wasn't, it wasn't like a money grab. I just was so excited to do it. And my heart was in this. And I feel for women who are just lost. And I wanted to take the confusion out of it.

I feel like because I'm not a trainer, I was able to just make it as simple as possible. Like, this is what you do on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Thursday, Friday. for 30 minutes. I got you from top to bottom. I've taken any of the headache out of it because I can't have the headache. And it really just, it hit and it is growing. And it's the number one app on the platform and growing like crazy. And I just, I couldn't, it couldn't be more excited and feel more grateful for this community. It's really. Wild. Wild and so impressive. If someone wants to get involved, how do they get involved? And what are the costs if they listening right now? Yeah, go to JJD Fit.com and it is, I like to say it's 33 cents a day for a month.

It's $9.99 a month. It's cheaper than the pizza you ordered over the weekend. I like that. And hey, I'm sure you've thought about it every single which way, but I feel like you should do something where if you buy a book, maybe you get like a free week or free month and you get the book sales up and you do it. We're already working on a baby. We're already there. I love it. You talked about chapter opening and closing, has there ever been a chapter that it just feels like there's been so many successful chapters that have opened, but has there ever been a chapter where you're like, I'm burned out, I can't do anymore, I'm going to retire, I need to, like I'm done. Yes, actually. And that's kind of what I was talking about before. And I don't want it to be

taken wrong what I'm about to say. I was burnt out from the way that I was doing things. So if you follow me and you understand, I have a clothing brand called Kittnish, I was, I was doing things in a way that were that were burning me out. I started this business in 2019 and it grew so unbelievably fast that I truly was never really able to keep up. And it, and it's a great problem to have. I don't think I understood how successful it was going to be and how fast the business was going to grow. This, again, wasn't my expertise. I'd never built a business before. I'm a creative. And that's what I know how to do. I know how to make beautiful things. And I understand what my audience wants, but I don't think I understood how hard the fashion

business was and how complicated. And I had to learn so quickly. And it started to suck the magic out of it because I was so worried about the inventory or it stuck on a boat in the middle of the ocean or the warehouse is unable to fulfill this because of blah, blah, blah. It just that part of it really made it difficult for me to enjoy it. And so I took a pretty good amount of time off to restructure and go, I need help. I can't keep running it myself anymore like this.

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weeks. Terms apply. Just use Bitcoin 10. When you sign up, download the cash app today. Visit the link that is in our show notes. Bitcoin services by Block Inc. See the Bitcoin Disclosures at cash.com. Backslash legal backslash podcast. And so that's when we brought on a partner. And that's why now we have. the wholesale business and we're in Dillards and we're in Nordstrom and Macy's and we are able to grow now better than we ever have in a much bigger way but I knew that it was time to take off my CEO hat and hand it over to a partner and let me just do what I do best which is the creative part of it and I'm proud of it listen it's like a 60 million dollar business now it's

done great but it can do even better if there's a new infrastructure and sometimes as a founder you have to make that type of decision what's healthier for the business and what's better for the business and sometimes it's better to take that baby of yours and let someone help you out with it a little bit so that it can really grow. Because that is the, I think that's one of the hardest things for any business owner to do is like you created the baby. You have creative. You know the vision. You know exactly where it's supposed to go, but saying like I have to hand it off. It is so much harder. So much easier said than done. So congratulations for doing that. And 60 million bucks. And I read one of your financial advisors like you'll be lucky to break even in your first year.

You guys did that in 30 days. You see where it is today and you handed it off. We're talking about chapters closed. Not totally off though. Not totally off. Okay. Okay. Like what is what is just? Just like half half of the bus. Half of it. It's still it's still mine. But yes, I am not in charge of the operations anymore. So you're remaining like full creative control, like the genius of Jesse James Decker, but the operational, maybe the blocking and tackling,

you're letting someone else run that. Yeah. Got it. Okay, it makes perfect sense. One chapter, you gotta talk about this chapter. It's closed,

but now it's open back for the world again, dancing with the stars. So Alan was your partner. I think you came, you were in there for seven weeks, you crushed it. What is one trading seeker? What's one thing we wouldn't know

about dancing with the stars that you experience he could share with us. What an experience that was. I realized, I always thought I was a good dancer, but I realized I was not a technical dancer at all. There really is such a difference. I was never on the dance team, so to speak, growing up. Like, I was a cheerleader.

I was like on the hip. It was called like the hip hop dance. Like it was for cheerleaders, right? Yeah. So I always thought I was a decent dancer. I had great rhythm. But let me tell you, you realize quickly, there is such a difference. I am not a technical dancer. I was just a little too wild and like to free,

which is interesting because the one night that I actually excelled and Alan and I won prom king and queen was the night I was able to be free. And what am I? It was like what are the dance offs? So you have to dance for like five minutes straight. And I have really great stamina. And I was, And I'm very athletic. So I was able to do all these tricks and all these moves. And like that was the one night I felt like I could totally be free. And Alan was like, whoa, okay, we got to incorporate more of this in it. But with all that being said, I think I realized, this was harder than I thought it was going to be.

It is grueling. You are in the studio for hours and hours and hours learning these dances and getting a right. You have such a short amount of time to do it. And a lot of the people in my position, that's not our. our only thing that we do. Like, we have all these other things. I was on tour during the process. And also, I'm crazy.

I was doing dancing with the stars on Sunday night. And then when it was done taping at 8 p.m., I would get on a red eye, fly home, get to my home at 5 a.m. So I could be with my children when they wake up to get him to school. I would take a nap. Then I'd have to meet Allen at the studio, dance, learn the dance, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, get back on a plane. We've got blocking, rehearsals, dress rehearsals, Sunday, do it again. Like, it was just too much. It was way too much.

And I was trying to be way too many places at once. And that's something you'll learn about me and know about me. I don't let being a mother or wife fall to the wayside. Like, it's always my number one priority in everything that I do. So sometimes I get very, I'll get tired and I try to do too much because I want to be the best mom that I can. but yeah it was it was tough which show was harder dancing with the stars or special forces dancing with the stars wow that's that's wild given the fact I would do special forces again before I would do dancing with the stars wow that's that's unbelievable and I'm not being negative

about it was just a different kind of hard I don't I don't know how to explain it special forces was hard as hell trust me but I feel like with special forces you were getting given a task and you just had to do it. And that environment, the military environment, I'm a military brat myself. I just felt like it, even though it was so hard, there was a familiarity to it. And again, I'm a very physical person. I like the physical challenges of it all. I don't know.

Maybe it was just like the tomboy in me. Yeah. Disney Stars was hard. It was really hard, but I love Alan and he was a great, great coach. And of course, we root for him every season. I can say, I mean, like from having, you know, Mark Ballaston, Vail, Jenna, day, all these people from Dancing with Stars. And I can confidently say not one person has ever said, ever, ever said that Dancing with the Stars is an easy show. Like, it's just a tough, it's a tough show. Like, it's just, it's a beautiful show. It's amazing what they do.

The performances are inspiring and entertaining. But it's a grind. You guys are out there. It's a crime. Then you're going back and forth, East Coast, Central Time. That's a whole lot. And that also ties into the next question I'm talking about. So something we talk about often on the show is like, love is, like, love is. very hard, right? Like the concept of love in life and managing love is very hard. The concept of money management and this asset that is one of the most powerful assets in the world is tough to manage and understand. Then you combine the two and love and money create so many hardships and relationships. Number one reason why divorces happen today and there's so many nuances to it. And there really is no cookie cutter solution. That's with people that have a pretty defined system. Like a nine to five,

it's pretty consistent. They know what their life's going to look like in. their career is going to look like. You and Eric have had such a wild turn of events from your career 21-222. You meet that new move in his career as an NFL player, obviously different income generations. Then it switches. He retires. You've become the pot. Like there's so many moving dynamics there. Have you guys had any hard or fast money rules or work and love rules that you subscribe to that you'd suggest people think about? I think what's been great about this kind of goes back to what I was saying earlier. My expertise is not the financial aspect of things. It's just not and it never has been. And so it's been wonderful because we don't butt heads ever because I just

trust him and rely on him to, that's his role. That's his role. His role is just like it's my role to cook dinner and his roles to clean it up. You know, he manages the money and he's so good at it and knows what he's doing that I don't worry about it. So there's no really fighting about it because I trust that he's making the right decisions. Trust me, he tries to pull me into every meeting. And we sit down with our financial advisor at the end of the year. And we go through things and they start pulling out the papers. And I'm like, I don't care.

Which I know is not sexy to hear. And a lot of people listening to be like, oh, my God, she's relying on a man to handle everything. But I am. I'm sorry. I'm old school. He's going to handle the money. I have no problem, you know, making the bacon and bringing in home, but I don't want to deal with it. You deal with the rest. That's where I'm at. I'm okay with that. And yes, early on in our career, Eric was the, he was working. I was the stay-at-home mom. And I did what I could, you know, I worked when I could. But I was so happy to be that support system and be there for him. And it was such a fun, incredible time in our love. lives, but yes, as soon as he retired, it was my turn to kind of start working again. Not that I really, not that I had to or was told that I needed to, but I, that's who I always have been. I've been working even before I met Eric. But he always knew that about me, that I would get right back into work. And he has been such an incredible support system.

And it just works. I don't know. We've been very fortunate that we don't really face any of those types of issues or dilemmas because we just we have our roles in our in our relationship and we just I think we just make really great partners it you know and all and always have you know dividing I think too it's like you guys you divide and conquer you know you have a system you know what you do best it works uh Eric's a beauty I've had the pleasure of having a few beverages with Eric what a great guy yeah he loves you awesome awesome guy what else I love too is like we we do live in this we live a little bit of a society where it may be encouraged at times to do like the eye roll at your partner or beat down your partner. I think what's so cool is the way that you guys have subscribed

to being like, we love the shit out of each other. We think each other are hot. We probably have like our intimacies off the charts. We're going to own it. We love it. And like this is what you should shoot for. Like it's it's not cool to beat the shit out of your partner. Like it's cool to support and love your partner. And I think it's so cool that you guys continue to put that out there, spread that message. And it seems like a simple one. But it's such an important one. I think sometimes it's undervalued. Question I got for you, though, sometimes you guys work together, right? So let's say there's a day where you work together.

You wake up, you get in a little argument or discussion, and then one o'clock's your time to create content. You've got to kind of put it together and get that video shot. How do you guys kind of overcome maybe challenges you might have when you're actually working together, producing something together, going all in? Whether it's a reality show, piece of content, or whatever it is. How do you deal with that? I actually don't think that scenario has ever happened as you were saying it. I, you know, I think that he and I are really good at reading each other's energy. And, like, he knows if I'm like, he can feel or sense if I'm like overwhelmed or I'm like on my phone working on something.

And I'm just like, he knows not to come up and talk to me about something that needs like my full attention or vice versa. Maybe he just thought done doing something and that's not where his mind is. For me, nothing's ever urgent. We'll do it when we can. We'll wait till we're in a good, good zone, good place to do what we got to do. But yeah, I think if you could just have respect for your partners, I think that goes a long way. We just have so much respect for one another. And there is zero ego between either one of us.

And I think the ego and the respecting, it seems to be what gets in the way with a lot of people. It's funny because I'm very new age in this life where I'm a working woman and I'm playing that role. But I'm also extremely, extremely old school where I'll rub his feet at night and make sure dinner's on the table. and he is the man. He's the man of this house. And so I think that there's something very feminine and being able to play both roles

and be able to do that with no ego. And it's just, it's worked for us. I think it's a beautiful balance of he lets me be free. I have to be free. I cannot be held back or a close in. He gives me my wings and lets me go be and do what I want to do. Okay.

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Let your morning change you. Discover Coffee Plus on Nispresso.com. And at the same time, he's the man of his house and I respect him and I want to and, you know, treat him like the man that he is. And it just, it just works. I don't know. It works. It's beautiful.

People have seen it on reality TV. People now see it on your social media. Do you think maybe there might be more reality TV in your future for the Decker household? No. No way. No way. I think that we show what we want to show. We share what we want to share.

and we have fun with it. It's on our time and on our terms, but my family is too precious to ever open that up. We have our bubble, and there is nothing that could be more important to come in and create any sort of chaos. I think it's just unnecessary. It's not needed.

My children have such normal, wonderful lives. I would never want to do that to them, you know, and we just don't need it. They don't need it. We don't want it. We're good. We're good. October 6th, your new book comes out, the secret sauce.

Give me the number one recipe. The number one, like the one that we all, like, this is why we got to buy the book. It's this recipe. Oh, my gosh. That's such a hard question. Oh, my God. Okay. I got it because I've talked about it this morning, the blueberry dish.

Okay. This blueberry dish, my mom has made for us. It's called the birthday blueberry dish, because we always read it. would request it for our birthday and she would make it. And so you make it the night before. And then the next morning, she pops in the oven and she makes the blueberry like glazed little sauce the morning of on the stove. And she's got the blueberries and the syrup mixing up and you can smell it. She pours it on top of this like blueberry casserole with like the, it's just very special. And it's really easy to make. You make it the night before. And like I said, you pop it in the

oven the next morning. But it's become a very special tradition. in our home for birthdays. And even to this day, my brother makes his wife, Allie, make it for him so he can have it the next morning. It's very sweet, but it's the blueberry dish. I'm like salivating as you're telling you're such a good. Give me a bite of this right now. It's so good.

That's unbelievable. What is? There's a lot of cookbooks out there. What are the goal? You've been a New York Times seller before? Like, what are the goals? We talk numbers on this podcast. Like, do there's certain amount of units you want to sell?

Do you want to be New York Times best seller? Like, what are the goals for the book? Well, the beauty of it is, yes, I've been a New York Times bestseller a couple times now. And so it's, it's, you know, that's, that's able to be that bucket list that I've already like got. But I would love for it to become a bestseller so that my mom and sister can be in New York Times bestsellers. I would love for them to be able to add that to their resume. They worked very, very hard on this book. We really poured our heart and soul into this. And my mom is an incredible writer. And it's been her She's always wanted to be an author since she was a little girl. So for her, this is very special for her to be able to have to be an author and have this come through fruition. So I would love that for my mom and sister to have that title. Let's make everyone in the family a New York Times bestseller.

I have read, Jessie, that the most expensive and the hardest part about a cookbook is actually the photography. Can you confirm or deny? I would say for this, no. I don't think so. I don't think about the most expensive part. You know what? Probably the most expensive part of this is going to be the marketing part or the travel and the promo part of it.

So like getting all of us there and then the glam for the glam and the hotels and the flights. To me, all of that is more expensive. I'd say that's probably the most expensive part of it. Yeah, actually like promoting it. The marketing piece of it. All right. Yeah, yeah. As we wrap here, I got to get your trading secret before I do.

Just on the music industry as a whole. It's always cool to get perspective from someone who's been in it for as long as you have. It's changing, right? You look at the way publishing deals are changing. Independent contracts are so. The whole indie scene is different. TikTok, you now have people overnight becoming, you know, it seems like a list musicians. If you had the crystal ball, where do you think this industry is going?

And what's the why behind it, given your expertise? I think that we will continue to see if things pop off. but I don't believe the longevity will be there the way that it has for artists that actually I was developed technically for three years before they released a single on me. I believe that- What do you mean developed? What does that mean? So back in the day,

they actually used to do things called development deals where they would develop the artist. I didn't have a development deal. I just had straight up a record deal, but they put in years to get you ready and kind of master. your craft a little bit more, figure out your identity, figure out your sound. They don't just like throw you into the weeds. And I think that that is such a crucial part of this music industry of actually getting an artist ready. And everyone's so in a hurry to do things so fast and turn it over by the next day. But a lot of times these people that have these big moments,

it's so up. And then they're gone. It's, it's, there's, there's no longevity in my opinion. And I think that we'll still have those moments where these people will pop off, but I truly believe the artists like Ella Langley, she's great. You know, it's been in this business for a long time. It's been years and years of development. Those artists will have the most longevity because they know who they are. They took the time to figure out who they are. They put in the work and they understand their artistry and a lot of these really talented people will come, you know, come out and they'll have a song pop off, but then it's like they don't know who they are and they haven't taken the time.

And I just think that's such a disservice. And I think, I don't think the industry will ever go back to the way that it was, but I think that we'll go back to it a little bit. I think it will go back to actually trying to develop these artists to figure out who they are so that there's more longevity. People are so quick to make a buck now. But as you know, if you actually put in the time and effort,

you know, would you rather have a slice of an apple or slice of a watermelon, right? So I think I'd rather the slice of the watermelon that the watermelon takes longer to grow. So I don't know. I think it's a good breakdown though. And then the last business take, your content's incredible. If you guys don't follow, go follow. It's off the charts.

I'm curious kind of like, one, what does that team look like? And then two, what do you think is going to? I mean, social media, just the content creating game in the last year has changed so much. What do you think the future looks like? Those are the last two I got for you. Yeah. I like actually how it's changed because it's working for me. I have to say it's my engagement's been higher than ever and I think that it's less it's less

programs now it feels a little bit more raw and that is my language I am just and as you know as we're sitting here there is just really nothing very rehearsed I say what comes in my mind whatever I feel for example there's a video I just did and me and Eric at our daughter's flag football game that wasn't that was we're just sitting there and I'm sitting in the chair and I'm looking over it at Eric who's like on the other side because he won't sit next to me at any of the kids games because he thinks him too loud and I asked too many questions and he needs to focus. So I'm looking down to him trying to mouth like, was that good? What does that mean? And I'm sitting there. And so I had my friend Stephanie, I'm like, go on the other side and just film both of us for two

seconds. And she's like, okay. So she films Eric on the other side watching and then pans over to me and I'm just like sitting there by myself. And I just had this feeling, I bet there's a a lot of couples like this where the dads don't want to sit next to the moms and they are off because I see it at all the games. I see all the dads up by the fence all sitting there with their arms folded like this and all the moms are all together.

So I think what's great and what's working is people are getting smarter and they want more authentic. They want more real. If they want something staged, they're going to go put on a Hulu show. They want as raw and real as it gets because our audience is getting smarter. The kids are getting smarter.

They can smell the fakeness. a mile away. So I think that's why it's working for me and I think social media isn't going anywhere. It just will continue to evolve as it does and you just have to stay. You got to stay and evolve with it. You can't, whatever you thought worked

six months ago, ain't working six months still. You got to adjust. You have to it. It takes time. And do you have a team that kind of helps you with the creative and the editing and stuff or what does that look like? I do it all myself. Wow. That's so impressive. I'm a really fast editor. I

I, but here's the thing. I think that I, I have good comedic timing. So I think that I can feel when something hits. It's not always perfect. You know, there's not, like we did something last night and it did okay. But I think that I'm able to feel those hooks and, and I would rather do it myself because I'll just end up redoing it anyway. I tried to get people in the past to help me.

I'm just like, you missed the whole point. Or you missed the eye blink or you rolled their eye here and you didn't catch it. I just, I can feel it and I can sense it and I'd rather just do it myself. Part of the Jesse James Decker Secret Sauce, your book, The Secret Sauce comes out October 6th. Everyone go buy it and help make her mother and sister a New York Times bestseller. Jesse, we got to wrap with the trading secret. So it's something unique to you. You can't learn it through a textbook or a professor only through what you've accomplished

in your life. What's one trading secret you could end with? I would say that it's never no. I have been told no so much. than anyone I know, probably because I try to make things happen a lot. But I get told no constantly. And I can tell you right now, if I had accepted the answer, no, there is no way I'd be sitting in this chair right now, even having a conversation with you. It's never no. It's never over. If you want something badly enough, you have to fight for it. And you can't give up easily. You've got to get thick skin. And where there's a will, there's a way. There's many ways. a skinna cat. If you want something badly enough, you will always, always find a way to make it

happen and to never give up. But for me, it is, it's never accepting no, because it ain't no. I love it. It's never no. That's got to be somewhere that's got to be tattooed on someone or on the back of a screen or in a quote book or something. It's never know. So you're saying there's a chance. That's where my mind always goes so here. One in a minute. Great. I'll take that one in a trillion. It's never a no. It's never know. I love it. And I, I think the biggest thing, too, that you've shared. It's like, everyone's got magic. You've got to find your magic.

Like, you got to find your magic. Once you find your magic, you can do anything. You can start a fitness community and not be a trainer. You could hit the billboard charts and also be an unbelievable, you know, wife and a mother of four. It's just you got to find your magic. And I think so many people go through. Yes. And as my mother has always said to me since we were children.

You got to see it to believe it to achieve it. If you could see it and you can believe it, you can achieve it. You can do anything. It's got to happen to somebody. Perfect way to wrap this podcast. Where can everyone find everything you have going on and, of course, the new book? Yes. Okay.

So go to just jessiejamesdecker.com that will have absolutely everything, the link to the book, the link to Pitnish and the link to my new fit program, jessiejamesdecker.com. Perfect. Awesome. Well, Jesse, thank you so much for being on this episode of Traying Secrets. Thank you. Great talking to you. Good seeing you.

Likewise.