Triforce! - Triforce! #71: It's Coming Home

Episode Date: July 11, 2018

Triforce! Episode 71! It's coming home, lads... Today we waffle on about olympic egg and spoon races, Pyrion's missing bacon sandwich, England in the World Cup and travel around the world!   Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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to another Triforce podcast with me, Lewis. Sips and period flax. Say hi. Hey. It's been a week since we've been away. It has. And that was because I think there were like holidays, trips away, adventure. Yeah.

You know, you guys live a busy life with children and families. Yeah. And streaming. Yeah. Last week was my oldest daughter's sports day. Then on Friday, I went to Berlin. Now, is sports day for kids still just a fun day in the sun?

No, no. They've evolved past fun now. It's ultra competitive, serious. It's a good gauge for whether or not your kid is like physically active. A winner or a loser. Exactly. That's right. It's like a testing ground now.

Is it kind of like, is it at the point with your kids where it's gone beyond cute? Because originally, I guess it started off like they do in a play where all the parents are filming it and it's really cute and they're really bad. But now are they just basically mini Olympic athletes and they're really bad yeah but now are they just basically mini olympic athletes and they're being like yelled at by competitive i don't think sips is because your eldest is what five uh six he's six okay so it's the same as my youngest and their sports day is still pretty adorable right i mean they just yeah they run around but none of them are very quick they're all kind of uncoordinated no yeah they have the race they

have like there's normally a relay. So no one feels bad, you know. Then there's the egg and spoon. Is there like a, because I remember, is there like a sack race? There's a sack race, yeah. Egg and spoon. There's a sack race. I've never before witnessed 20 kids not get a basket in basketball.

That's what sports day is like. It's watching 20 kids not be able to do any sports but it is it is really adorable it's really cute but so my eldest is is nine and a half and more or less and she uh their sports day some of the kids are really good like they have the the 100 meters basically it was a full 100 meter run um and yeah they were some of those kids were like blindingly quick yeah they got like full muscles, rippling beards. You can see the shape between a six-year-old and a nine-year-old is, it's three years, but in that time,

their bodies are now growing so much that their legs are like elongating, like Mr. Elastic. Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah, they're like horses. They're like little horses. Some of the kids run like... Shetland ponies. And they're all kind of skinny and sort of lithe. There was the one kid in the year who was like the fat kid in that year.

And it reminded me a lot of Sports Day because everybody's watching him thinking, there's no way this kid wins. Like the moment he steps up... His fetus strength is eating all the donuts on the sidelines while all the other kids are running. Of course. Mom, I ate 50 donuts. Oh, well done, Walter. Look at this.

He's like, when's the hot dog eating competition starting, Mom? Joey Justnuts over here. Well, everyone's got to get a medal. You know, that's how it works. No, that isn't. That actually isn't. I think that is honestly a myth. I mean, my daughter's very frustrated when she hasn't won something.

And I don't say to her, I just said, well, try harder next time. Maybe they're just better than you at it. Like, what are you going to do? I'm not going to tell her, you know, we're all winners. That's bullshit. Well, that's a very American idea, isn't it? But I don't think that is the case ever

yeah but i i don't even think that's an american no i don't think it is sports incredibly seriously in america i don't know where this idea came from that there's participation medals when you're five yeah because no one wants to deal with a crying kid come on another thing they do when they're really young is they um all of the all of like the um the events if like, are team-based. So it's not down to like one kid to do really well. Right. They do it as a team. So they get into the mentality that they're working as a team and not just as one person sort of thing.

Which I think is good. But then once they get to year four, which my fourth grade, I guess it is my eldest now you know they have a it's a proper race and it's you against three or four other people and you have to try and beat them so the tragic thing is my my eldest is extremely clumsy bless her she just that's just the way she is she's a clumsy kid uh tease your body you know she's she's she knows she's clumsy um she's the sort of person who from a standing position doing nothing else will occasionally just fall over like she will just sort of collapse she's like whoa i fell over my feet i'm like you weren't you weren't even moving maybe she has like a fluid imbalance in her ear or something she doesn't it's just one of these things she's just not the thing is she's just not really paying attention right

she takes after that so she's in the sack race i thought i hoped to god she was going to be in the foot race she's in the sack race and i was like here we go She makes it two yards and then immediately collapses in a massive heap falls over and oh no no It was the skipping race. They had to run a hundred meters with a skipping rope. Oh, that's a brutal one It was a total. Yeah, some of the kids have the technique down It's like they take big long strides and the swing in the thing and they just time their timing is perfect They just maintain that timing my daughter she skips once catches her foot on the rope and goes bam right into the ground i have to wait for the other competitors go to go steaming off and i run on and you know cuddle her and she was very upset mainly embarrassed honestly got a bruise on her

hip and everything but she was okay and then she did the egg and spoon she always does well in the egg and spoon but i'm not gonna say i don't want her to get a medal for coming last no no i'm sorry it sucks that you fell over i know you felt bad but uh what are you gonna do you can't give people medals for coming i think honestly like you know you you look at the olympics right we need to get these sports in the olympics we've been doing them from an early age okay yeah we've been training you know you go to like you see these like you know chinese athletes they say oh yeah we've i've been doing this thing since i was five we've been doing egg and spoon race and sack race since we were five yeah we should get those in the olympics all right i'd watch them for a start i'd love to see professional sacking the chinese are

smart though see they don't waste time with the egg and and and spoon race and the sack race they just get everybody into the actual olympic sports for their sports day so if you go to See, they don't waste time with the egg and spoon race and the sack race. They just get everybody into the actual Olympic sports for their sports day. So if you go to China and you go to a five-year-old sports day, they're doing kayaking and fucking javelin and discus and all that shit. And that's why they win all the time because they're in it to win it. They start from an early age training on the good stuff. They don't waste their time with all of the the events that aren't events like nowadays bmx biking is an event and like i did a lot of bmx biking when i was you know five or whatever and i'm not competing in in that event and maybe i should you know you know what they're

saying two olympics time or maybe even one olympics time they're saying um esports in the olympics wow well i mean it's a good idea i mean gotta get it out to a bigger audience i guess i mean the thing is if you want to attract a younger crowd to watch your product which the olympics essentially is yeah um why wouldn't you feel because it's just growing as well it's they're gonna invite it's just any anything you know any sport in the world i mean quite quite i mean honestly like i would i think like i would like to go into jjb sports one day and there's like a tray there's like sacks adidas sacks in there there's like you know spoons made by like i don't know the nike spoon yeah nike spoons yeah yeah and they're like carbon fiber like as light as possible yeah you know with like a shaped thing

so the egg like stuff yeah yeah like if you marketed it right and got the right fitness freaks to say egg and spoon is the way you would look out your window and you would see grown adults picking up dropping off their kids at school school and spool and egg and spooning their way to the gym i guarantee we should try this i know the triforce branded egg and spoon fitness suite that's become a big thing uh on that topic you know people wearing like full outfits you know like the like the really like the biker shorts and like the like malcolm in the middle and the vest things and the helmet and they've got their sunglasses on and stuff

where they call it active wear you look at them you think oh they must be training for an event or something but no they're just going to like sit in a bank yeah do data inputting all day i'm not kidding half the mums that i see dropping off the kids in the morning and picking them up are in their active wear so they've got like yoga pants on they've got like a a sweat top on like a like a what is like a not not like a vest but like uh it doesn't cover your shoulders i don't know what you call those things anyway like a running vest or whatever yeah yeah they've got their ultra high tech trainers on and everything but they've got a push chair with them i'm like what are you what

are you gonna do like you're not gonna go to the gym with it with a baby so you're just wearing that shit to say well look at me i'm the babies if the baby's asleep you could i guess you could i mean there's a market there i think for a gym that has like the station that you're exercising at and somewhere to park the buggy with a tv yeah like so you can put pepper pig on there and you can exercise i think it shows like an alarming lack of prioritization but i'll tell you what else it shows sips and an alarming amount of sweet asses well i i agree in most cases but there are there there are like the fringe few who probably shouldn't be wearing that stuff ever. Honestly, my active wear is like, I got loads of active wear

for when I used to go to the gym. Now the only time I wear it is when I come home in the evening, take off my trousers and shirt and put on my comfortable pants and then lie there on the sofa, right? It's like I do the least things in the active wear yeah yeah yeah but then again maybe like maybe them wearing that outside makes them think oh you know i'll i'll do some butt crunches while i'm like what like trucking my kid into school or whatever i don't know like yeah i do butt crunches while when i'm walking exactly

butt crunches do you remember getting medals from school sports and stuff and events? No, I never won anything. No, me neither. Did you not get them for free for doing stuff? No. Just participation? I wasn't a very sporty person at school.

I think for me, I had a bunch of medals, like four or five. And to the point where I did a fun run when I was like like i don't know six or something and i got one and everyone got a medal for it and it was like the cheapest shittiest medal of course and i was like fucking hell this looks like it might as well be made of like you know it might as well come off the front of a magazine do you know i mean i mean if there

was an if there was a medal for smoking cigarettes on a picnic bench yeah when i was at school i probably would have gotten gold for that but six year old you just like egg and spoon in one hand yeah like smoking out of my mouth sitting on a picnic table i'm fucking great at this so when i when i was on the way to um the sports day we had to drop the kids at school at nine and then i had like half an hour till it started so there's a coffee shop at the end of my road and all the parents after school a lot of them go there and get a cup of coffee so there are two next to each other's they're like two or three doors apart this is like a captive market of tired mums and dads who just need a coffee you'd have to go all the way into twickenham to get a starbucks or whatever so yeah it only exists

because of these mums exactly yeah a lot of them you know you'll see them in there with the push chairs and all the rest they're having a cup of coffee and a natter and everything so i thought i'll get myself a fucking bacon sandwich i haven't had a bacon sandwich in like two months like a bacon sandwich i know it's not good for you but fuck it and i went in i was the first person in the cafe because i was you know strode up there yeah and i said i'll bake a sandwich please can you bring it outside i'm gonna sit outside she said no problem so i sit down It's five to nine. And then a whole bunch of other people turn up. Now, there's two people working in this cafe.

25 past nine. So a full half hour after I've ordered my bacon sandwich still hasn't turned up. I've got to go to this sports day. So I put my head in and I said to the lady, look, I said, I'm not being funny, but I've been waiting 25 minutes and now I've got to go. And she just shrugged and went, huh, like that. Like, huh, not my problem, buddy. You've got to go and she just shrugged and went huh like that like huh not my problem buddy you gotta go i was like okay so i stormed off and i must have told about a dozen

people about this baker's sandwich and when they said how you did i was like oh pretty good you know what happened the other day you know that son of a bitch cafe on the corner that piece of shit they fucking sold me a baker's sandwich now you've told 28 people i've literally told anyone that listens to the to the podcast yeah me and i said the one person that listens so i'm standing outside the other cafe which is easily within earshot of the bad cafe okay and i'm meeting some friends of mine come up to say hi to them and they said hey how's it going you getting something uh getting a coffee i said yeah i said let me tell you something. Don't bother with that other cafe on the corner because I ordered a bacon sandwich there the other day and 25 minutes they didn't deliver it. I said, so they're dead to me.

I obviously, I've got a loud voice, right? I talk real loud. So this lady obviously heard me saying this. So I go in the cafe, you know, Mike, the good cafe, I get my smoothie, I'm off. This, this is, this is yesterday. Okay. Sorry, on Wednesday. cafe i get my smoothie i'm off this this is this is yesterday okay uh sorry on wednesday so yesterday i'm walking into school the one of the waitresses runs out of the corner cafe and gives me back

the cost of the bacon sandwich and says in a very shitty way uh my boss was very busy the other day so sorry you couldn't get your bacon sandwich here's your money back so i took the money and i said thank you very much and i put it in my pocket and i thought what kind of fucking shithole cafe is this that a customer raising a legitimate complaint 25 minutes for a bacon sandwich gets shit talked by the by the help i was living so in my my book lewis if you want to get a bacon sandwich in the sub twickenham green area don't go to the one in the corner go to the other one. Oh, my God. Case closed.

So, okay, first of all, it's a very slippery, dangerous slope making enemies in your local community, right? Because now you're wasting black money from that cafe. Absolutely. You never know. I don't give a shit. I wouldn't go to that cafe if you paid me. I know.

You know what's going to happen, though, now, Flax? That woman that you've crossed through not getting a bacon sandwich is going to be like the dean of admissions for your eldest child's college or something like that. She ain't going to be shit. And she's going to remember you. She's going to make your life difficult at some point.

Let me tell you something. Or something like that. It's going to happen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She'll be in the 2028 Olympics, right? Yeah. 10 years of time. Doing esports.

In the 2028 Olympics, right? Yeah. 10 years. Doing esports. She's going to be the person who hires on esport casters. Your daughter. And she's going to be doing interviews. And you're going to go for a Dota interview. Let me spin that around for you a second.

Maybe in 10 or 15 years time, I'll be the dean of something. And maybe her kids will want to get into so-and-so. And I'll say, fuck you. where's my bacon sandwich yeah it works both ways oh that's my cleaner hold on i'll be back i love that okay holy shit man oh man oh fucking okay well holy periods i this period live in like a manor or a castle or something? That doorbell just sounds A, really fancy, and listen to the echo too. That's a lot of real estate for that doorbell sound to travel through, right? To make that many echoes?

Pyrrhon might actually be the butler, though. Do you know what I mean, of the manor? Oh, I see. His family are like the servants. They live there and wait upon some rich London folks. He lives in like The outhouse Nurses room Upstairs

That would explain Quite a lot Were you saying I live in the servants quarters Yeah Lewis called you a butler Oh did he Yeah while you were gone

Yeah What a guy With two Ts as well What a guy Listen Flax I got a lot of respect For you man Because I was in

London yesterday Oh yeah And it was fucking hot as hell oh it's hot and how the hell does anyone live in london it's so fucking busy jesus christ it's everywhere i went there was just fucking tons of people i had to take the um i had to take the tube back to i flew out of london city right i was out at like your end like well kind of close it's like gunnersbury so it's like right yeah that's pretty close that's pretty west of london and it took like an hour and a half for me to take trains and and tube from london city airport out there

and at five o'clock when i was heading back to the airport because i i flew back last night fuck it was like it was like sardines in a in a tin in that tube it was crazy like some people just couldn't get on it was so packed yeah yeah and I was like shoulder to shoulder with all these people and it was super fucking hot and everyone was sweating really claustrophobic yeah yeah there's a it's not a lot of space down there yeah like sometimes mrs f will say like let's say the kids are away. She'll say, oh, come and meet me. We'll go out for drinks after I finish work and we'll get some dinner and stuff. I'm like, cool.

But it means riding the train at rush hour. And it is, it is un-fucking-believable. Like you said, it is unbelievable. So Sips texted in the group. He said, you know, do you want to hang out? How far is Gunnersbury from you? You replied, two tube stops. And then you said said it's a

long way to grab something it actually is like as if like a 15 minute journey it's like because the thing is it's like i'd say like here's my general rule of thumb for london it takes an hour to get anywhere minimum right okay so i'd have to just anywhere i'd have to walk to the bus stop wait for a bus hope a bus comes on to go straight to richmond hope there's no traffic get to the tube station hope there's a tube get off at gunners we go meet sips it's gonna take an hour i guarantee just getting from i had to i had to like transfer stations a bunch of times and stuff and the whole the whole process is like it works but holy fuck it doesn't feel efficient at

all and you just think jesus christ like if i lived here i would read so many books and listen to so many podcasts because there's just so much fucking dead time that's when i did almost all the reading that i've ever done really was when i was when i was working and i was commuting because if i'm at home i'm on the computer yeah that's it when I when I had a job like for five years I'd commute it wasn't even a long commute it was like 30 minutes by train but I read so much more waiting for the train on the train you know and everything and you know that was it that was when I did all my reading whenever I when I used to commute for for about a year I commuted up into um where was it now it was near Canary Wharf so it was like an hour and 40 an hour and 40 door to door so it was ridiculous and i read all the time and i'd listen to so many so much this was before

podcasts really were a big thing um so i didn't have those to listen to so i'd listen to music and i'd read and it was un-fucking-believable how tense it makes you so mrs f spends about an hour and a half commuting into work an hour half back so if she finishes work at six she calls me up she says i'm on my way i know she's gonna be back about 20 past seven at the earliest like if things go just right that's every day and if she works late by an hour i'm not seeing her till nine o'clock like it's it's that bad that's nuts yeah it's horrendous getting around in london is fucking horrendous. Yeah, and as if London isn't big enough and busy enough already, I went by Canary Wharf on light rail, so like above ground.

There's like 50 fucking gigantic apartment buildings being built in Canary Wharf. It's almost like a separate London within London sort of thing. It's just massive, massive. You should see there's fucking cranes everywhere it's crazy it is nuts when i was working there which was a good 13 14 years ago now they were starting to build some of the early big apartment buildings and there was like one two that they were building that were like big and i thought wow these are huge there's no way they're gonna fill those and now like you said you go there and areas that i remember being just a wasteland there was just no one using it because there's a lot of spare space around docklands right it's

like it wasn't a heavy populated area it was like no no yeah there's still a lot of like yeah and there's still a lot of like big abandoned factories and stuff yeah yeah so uh i mean some of them converted like there was one that was like a big tobacco warehouse it was huge it was like where the tobacco would literally come off the ships they'd store it there before they sent it off to wherever it was going that converted that into flats is the trendiest fucking thing in the world well we stayed in one and it was really really nice actually because they left a lot of they left a lot of the original brickwork and stuff inside but then there's just these massively spacious flats and stuff like they're really good they're like kind of close to the excel center right like all in around that

area yeah so here's the problem when you're talking about commuting yes yes they absolutely do the same thing in bristol because they have those there's a prestige attached to an older building right you know it's gonna be like every older building they convert into flats or something pump house i think the the the general because that was used to be the general hospital but they called they call it the general it's huge huge complex yeah and there's like the brewery and the brew house and the keg storage and the shit storage yeah yeah like all all old old old buildings in north america you kind of sort of get that like i guess they have the old tenement buildings in like New York. The brownstones, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But parts of North America where, you know, a lot of like the bigger buildings were built in like the 60s and stuff. They just rip them down. There's no point in keeping them because they're all ugly as shit. They just go 100 yards down the road. There's a field with nothing in it. Build a building there. It's pretty good but but the thing is all these flats that they're making are for rich people basically

like there's no way that the average person could but they're also not for rich people they're for rich people to buy to rent yes yeah yeah but i mean that this is the problem is when sips is talking about commuting and how miserable it is think about the fact that so many people the average workers everyone that's earning maybe minimum wage or just above that has to commute in because there's no way that you can afford to live even within an hour of your job and still be in london like it's so much harder london is the most expensive i think one of the most expensive places in the world isn't it really is there was a thing on reddit the other day which showed it and i was like holy shit yeah it's so much people spend like something like a half their salaries on on rent or something which is which is

catastrophic what if you're the landlord of a pub though and you get to live in the flat above the pub that's probably that would be pretty sweet yeah yeah i think that's one of the attractions is you can literally just walk to work in one minute. Down some stairs, yeah. I would be the guy that serves in his pajamas and dressing gown. I would just wake up, walk down at 11, open the door, and just stand there serving until I could be bothered to get fresh. Okay, what if I came in at like 10 to 9 and I asked for a bacon sandwich, right? But you didn't have any bacon. I would say go to the cafe over the road if you're prepared to wait until doomsday yeah

okay fine fuck that's i was just proposing that question that's all nice holy shit but but but the old office um actually you know we moved out of our old office we moved out so a year ago yeah and that's all been converted to flats they're all really nice they've all been sold and people are living in them wow um wow already and i've seen them and They're all really nice. They've all been sold and people are living in them. Wow. Wow, already. And I've seen them and they are really, really nice. Are you going to get one?

Because the old office was a bit of a shithole. Are you going to move out of your dungeon and get one? You should. I'm way too late. You know what I would like to see? You live in a penthouse or something with a window.

I think so too. I'd have a lot more respect for you as a person and as a work colleague as well if you got like a really snazzy penthouse somewhere in bristol at least at least so you're not the archetypal bed basement dwelling redditor which is what you are browsing in a literal basement if your mother owned the basement that's the only way you could top it really yeah it's very very cool though in summer it's very

nice oh that's true oh that's nice it's not hot at all so that is a big a big plus and it's got a little garden which I really like you know I can sit out there and I've enjoyed the garden so I mean I'm I do like it

but I might have to might have to get out because it's pissing me off a lot of the dank basement-y things like mould in the bathroom and all that shit lads

what let's talk about it John let's talk about the fact that it's coming home let's talk about oh yeah okay when is the next england game saturday so tomorrow it might not be coming home by the time this comes out but it might indeed at this point in time at this time there's a lot of hope that it's coming home yeah so so let's just i watched the England game against Colombia. I watched it on ITV player in my office while I was doing some painting little Warhammer models.

So I kind of wasn't really paying attention, but I looked up whenever anything interesting happened and they always have action replays and stuff. So I felt like I watched it. Is that offending you right now, P-Flex? No, not at all. I'm not expecting you to be. If you're not a big fan you why would it was bringing back a lot of memories of watching old football games and honestly for me I guess this is just a thing because I've

suddenly gotten old um it it made me think that I felt like I'd be watching this before I felt like I'm watching like the same thing I used to do with my dad, watching penalty shootouts. I can't remember where the last penalty shootouts I watched were, but I definitely have watched England lose several penalty shootouts. Right. And I was pleasantly shocked and surprised that we actually won one. Well, that's the first one they've ever won. Even in a World Cup.

We beat Spain in Euro 96 on penalties, but we've never won a penalty shootout in a world cup. Once it went to penalties, every single England fan knew in their heart that we were going out and we're going to go out in this miserable game where that equalized the 93rd minute. And they kicked the shit out of us. And they tried to put Harry Kane off his penalty. And it was horrible.

I mean, England players were diving left, right, and center. And I mean, England players were diving left, right and centre. And as Gareth Southgate himself said, is we finally realised that we have to play like the rest of the world's been playing. Because if you foul a player from France or Brazil or Colombia,

they're going to fall over and roll around and get you booked and get a penalty and get a free kick. And us saying, oh, it's uncouth, that's why. That's one of the major reasons we've been so shit for so long is because we refuse to play the game the way the foreigners play it, with skill and with tactics and with guile. Honesty, yeah. So now this team is actually doing that.

Harry Kane is winning penalties. When there's a player jumping all over him, he doesn't just stand there looking at the ref. He falls down. That's how you get the ref's attention. No, and he's really good. He's really good at baiting out fouls and stuff. Absolutely.

That is a skill. And I'm sorry, but I agree. I would rather see Harry Kane beat three players and smash it into the roof of the net. I would love to see that. But this is the World Cup. We desperately want to win. If they're going to cheat, if we don't cheat,

it's, what is it, a zero-sum game? Is it that thing where you have to? If they're cheating, there's if we don't cheat, it's what is it? A zero sum game? Is it that thing where you have to? If they're cheating, there's no benefit to you not cheating. Like you have to be as bad as them because otherwise you're going to lose and they're going to get all the extra advantages. Even if it's only half the time, it's an advantage to them. And the other half, nothing happens. You have to go down when there's that contact.

If they kick you in the leg, yeah, you could have stayed on your feet. Fall over. Get the foul. I think Colombia took it like to the extreme. They did that contact. If they kick you in the leg, yeah, you could have stayed on your feet. Fall over. Get the foul. I think Colombia took it to the extreme. They did, yeah. That was fucking crazy. But we definitely cheated. There was definitely some diving taken part from the English players.

Well, here's the thing. Watching the game felt like it was some sort of dramatic thing. Now, obviously, the announcers are so... First of all, I've watched some other World Cup games, and the announcers are so... In this game, they're so biased towards England, right? They can't help, but they have to be, right? And they build up Colombia to be these bad guys,

and they're like watching them scuffing up the spot. Oh, come on, they were so bad, though. They got like eight yellow cards that game. But it was so dramatic, though. It was so like kind of more, it felt like it was almost like drama, almost like fake drama. It was very dramatic.

Yeah, it was very dramatic. Because they were kind of, Colombia were very much bad guys. You know, they were like, oh. And if we can name a nation on the modern world who wouldn't mind being like demonized as like bad guys, I feel like Colombia, you know,

it's got this reputation as like a drug lord place where they get cocaine. I know, that poor guy that missed his penalty is probably gonna go back home and get shot now like it's terrible i mean the thing is i feel for them because i guarantee you the people of columbia are extremely passionate about their team and the players are obviously extremely passionate and they want to win for columbia i i have no no disrespect for the way they play genuinely it was horrible shithousery, which is what they call it these days, like shithouse

football. I agree, it was horrible, but these guys are doing everything they can to win and make the people of Colombia happy. You can't hate them for that. You genuinely can't. And in the previous game as well, I was really happy to see Panama score a goal, because they can go away with that and be like, holy shit,

sure, we lost 6-1, but at least we didn't lose 6-0 right you know it felt like they were kind of like at a point where I was like

I felt like as an England fan like oh come on we should give them one guys this is not and then when it happened I was like oh this is quite a relief

I don't know it feels like the World Cup in general is going well for us and I'm I don't know like you turned me around PFLAX when you talked about it last time and I was like like the world cup in general is is going well for us and and i'm i i don't know like i've you

turned me around pflex when you talked about it last time and i i was like why am i so you know set in my ways against football i should give it a go so i've been loving it yeah it's not perfect it can be awful sometimes the players do things we roll your eyes i still don't like football don't get me wrong but the world cup man it's special i i i i can now see why so many dads out there watch it i don't know what it is but like i just i've been following it i've been loving following it i've been in like i've been in like a sweepstakes pool two of them for it and stuff as well so i'm keeping up with everything and like trying to like figure out who's gonna do better in the later stages so that I can win money off my friends and stuff.

And the whole thing has just been fucking great. And I think like off the back of this, I want to join like I want to join a Premier League fantasy pool as well. And then me and my friends are going to do a fantasy league for hockey in October. I haven't watched hockey in literally 15 years. Like it's been so fucking long. But I can get a subscription and watch it streamed. And I can go back and catch up on games that play like in the middle of the night. That sounds great.

And then I can figure out which players I want to trade and transfer and, and do this fantasy pool and I can follow it. And it's going to be, I'm really looking forward to it. I have the time to do it and I, and I'm old and boring enough to do it now as well. So it's going to be great. If you think about what, what football does for me is that pretty much every day when it's the

seasonal, when the world cup's on, I've got something that's going to take my attention. And that is, is inherently dramatic. Like sport is drama drama it really is perfect drama that england columbia game was like a fucking movie like it really was that dramatic there's the bad guys there's the good guys like as a viewer as an england fan viewer yeah and football sport can do that where there's a moment of drama and sometimes it's boring but that makes the dramatic

moments that much more dramatic it's like people saying baseball is boring or cricket is boring because it takes a long time and not many things are scored but that means that when something does happen the drama is accelerated it's that much more dramatic if it happens every time yeah if every football match was 10 to 9 and you know it would be ridiculous it wouldn't be as interesting to see the goals and and the drama and players getting sent off and the the drama before a free kick is taken whenever they're close up on Ronaldo's face he does that thing where he pulls his shorts right up for some fucking reason it's like moments like this that make football very watchable and I think that's what I love about it that every day I can wake up there's some news about it I can read

about it debate it with my friends fantasy football stuff it's just I love about it. Every day I can wake up, there's some news about it, I can read about it, debate it with my friends, fantasy football stuff. It's just a fucking hobby. It's fun. Exactly. And I was wondering, Sips, but I guess your friends that you're doing this pool with

are actually friends from Canada rather than Jersey. But Jersey and places like Gibraltar, sort of British colonies, sometimes are very fiercely British to the point where they almost like to latch onto these things like football where you can support

England, I suppose, in a sense. Well, you're never going to get any local representation in something like that, so you tend to just support England. There's a lot of England supporters over here. I guess I'm sort of saying,

rather than sort of supporting the local sides, I mean, like Scotland, you know, are almost rooting for, you know, Sweden, right? On Saturday. Oh, a lot of them, yeah. Because they quite like that. That's a fun game. And it's not like this,

it's just a fun thing that Scotland do. And it's funny, this it's not it's just a fun thing that scotland do and it's it's funny right i like it it's this sort of semi semi like elbowing nudge nudge thing that just they don't really hate well i'm sure some of them do hate the brits as much as as um yeah anyway i was just sort of thinking because when we're going to new zealand australia they were such big fans of british tv um and they really like you, they're really into that sort of stuff and they resonated well with us. They felt much more like our people

who've got our sense of humor and our things. They kind of can get behind us on these, more so than you'd expect, I think. It's like,

Canada's a little bit like that but it's not as a whole like that. You know, it's a Commonwealth country but it's heavily, heavily American influenced that, you know, it's, it's, it's a Commonwealth country, but it's heavily, heavily American influenced. Yeah. But there's certain parts of Canada that you go to where there's definitely British people and therefore British culture there as well. Like, like parts

of like Vancouver, like Victoria, like Vancouver Island, there's parts of Vancouver Island that are almost like places where, where, you know, old British people go to retire sort of thing. So it's become like almost like a little Jersey or something like that. It's cold and wet enough for us to recognize. I might, if I, if I go to TI eight,

the big, the big Dota tournament, if I go this year, it's in Vancouver. Yeah. So I'm, I'm hopeful, you know,

I'm always hopeful. This would be my, my sixth TI that I would have been to. It would be in Vancouver. So I would love to see see it can you recommend anything for me to do in vancouver well there's you can go to whistler you could go you could check out whistler because it's kind of kind of close it's like a ski mountain resort no no no no no no you've got you have to see it it's fucking incredible no there's no way i mean it has to be in vancouver it oh you want like it has to be in the city like you're not Like, it has to be in the city?

Like, you're not willing to drive, like, two hours out of the city or whatever? Oh, God, no. You have to consider Canada is vast. I know it is. It's like London. It takes you an hour to get somewhere. It's not uncommon to drive for six hours to see something interesting in Canada. Right, that ain't going to happen.

Like, I'm talking about something I could do in Vancouver. In actual Vancouver? Yeah, yeah. I don't know, man. It's a city. There's just going to be city there's just gonna be like fucking stuff to do like everywhere I guess but I can't think of any like big standout things that you have to do like in Vancouver there's not like uh oh my god you have to go see the great tower

of Pensacola or something like like there's nothing really like that I mean I don't I don't want to plan ahead too much in case I don't get invited obviously but yeah i mean if you want like you'll you'll be able to see like the the mountains and stuff from vancouver anyway which is fucking incredible i mean apparently it's a lot like seattle right yeah but nicer and bigger yeah yeah it is it's it's very similar very like very similar it's very similar it's i mean i love seattle i love it it's a great city yeah it's been a bunch of times and we obviously went there, went to Vancouver for a few days, and had films there as well.

We didn't fucking, I can't remember anything that we did that was particularly amazing. It's like a grid of, it's an American grid city slapped down, but it's sprawled and grown massively. I remember we walked through and nearly got stabbed by needles

because we ended up just walking randomly and we walked into this massive homeless area as all american cities have yeah it's just massive poverty area and i don't know it was i mean weirdly that's the bit that stands out for me you know is that when you got chased by the guy on the bicycle or something no it was where like i think didn't we arrive and then like smith posted like the first thing he saw was like a used heroin needle in a dog shit or something nice that was mine but yeah i left it there all those years ago but was amazing holy shit yeah like i mean if you if you stay on after flex for whatever reason i wouldn't be because generally you you fly in before the group stages and you fly out the day

after the final yeah so you're sort of the final is on the sunday the after party is straight after that and then you fly out in the afternoon or the evening oh man i was gonna say like if well if you're ever that that corner of the world for any other reason you have time right uh bamf is fucking a hundred percent worth going to it's amazing it's so so fucking nice it's like grisly hills and wow with like a bit of a bigger village and it's a big ski resort but it's like this like sort of like themed like logwood town thing oh fuck it's so awesome it and that's what people talk about yeah yeah it's super super duper nice and yeah just the rockies in general if the canadian tourist board like had to put

something on the front, it would be like Banff, go to Banff. Yeah, for sure. It's super nice. But Vancouver's really nice too. Actually, it's really hipstery, a lot like Seattle. Loads of really nice, cool little places, coffee shops, and just really nice people.

It really feels a lot very upmarket. Yeah, it's a big, big city. Did I tell you guys before TI ti i'm gonna be in the states for for two weeks one week in florida with my dad and the other week on a cruise ship did i tell you about the cruise yeah you told us about it yeah god yeah i thought this was happening in in oh i guess it is because ti is what september no no it's august like end of august yeah near the end of august so we're going away for two weeks. The day I get back, the day the cruise ship gets back into Orlando would be the day that I would need to go to Vancouver.

And I was like, oh, that won't be a long flight. It's like an eight hour flight. I know, yeah, it's a fucking huge place. It's nuts. So I always plan ahead. I always get very hopeful. But obviously now that I'm actually thinking about it, it's not going to happen. But we'll see.

I've said this like a million times, I'm sure. But I always remember being a kid and my grandparents were out in Vancouver, well, Victoria, like, you know, Vancouver Island. And I grew up on the east coast of Canada in Ottawa. And in the summer, like when I was a little bit older, I'd fly out to visit with them for like two, three weeks sort of thing over like school summer vacation when i was a little bit older i'd fly out to visit with them for like two three weeks sort of thing over like like school summer vacation which was awesome i used to love doing it but i remember i remember one year um i was getting ready to go and i had like some some money like some spending money for while i was there and stuff and i just sort of like i had to do a stop and i i said to my mom like oh fuck i fuck, I need to convert my money, right? She's like, no.

It's like, oh, wait, yeah, no, I don't. It's still the same country, but it's a five-hour flight. It's so weird because you just sort of think like if I'm going to be on a plane for five hours, I'm going somewhere different. I have to have like different money or whatever, but it's not. It's just like straight up five-hour hour flight like flying over the same country the entire time it's it's fucking it's insane it's so big yeah i think i remember like when i was there like hearing that basically originally vancouver had like a choice and it was like we could join america or canada which one offers us the best stuff um and i think that canada just offered

them a better deal i think and that's why they ended up joining Canada. I think it could have gone either way, though. It was one of these places that was kind of, you know, just a bit out of the way. And, yeah, I mean, it is weird, isn't it, that Canada is kind of – I think of Canada as a little bit like horizontal Chile, right? Chile is obviously, like, long and thin. Right. Whereas Canada is actually long and thin.

It's not long and thin. No canada's actually long and thin long and thin no no it's really big like there's a lot of people think it's it's long and thin but all of that territory up north like there are people that live it's very sparse but it is um there's like a lot of like inuit and like eskimo uh tribes and stuff that live like far far north in the sort of like the bulk of the the bulk of like the population must be like otto montreal toronto yeah for sure most of the people live on the one of the two coasts or texas like that's true it's like much of the middle is nothing that's why when i suggested to my dad that i was going to take a road trip this is two two tis ago i was

going to drive from seattle to florida can you fucking imagine oh my god that would take you like a week and a bit easy like 10 days but this was between ti ending this was two years ago between ti ending and a mrs f and the kids arriving in florida i was gonna drive to my dad's and he was like don't do it i was like oh i've looked at the map it looks really exciting i can go there's like this national park on the way and all the rest of it. And he was like, trust me, don't do it. Sounds like 90% of America. You will see nothing but farmland, truck stops, gas stations for like hundreds and hundreds of miles. And you'll be alone.

And you'll be driving for churches to literally that for eight hours, nine hours a day for 10 days. I was like, yeah, you're right. Because I flew it. I was like yeah you're right because i flew it so i was like i'm so fucking glad i flew this there is nothing for like a thousand miles it was crazy yeah it's nuts i mean i think hat films drove from la to vegas i do want to do that that would be interesting enough which isn't a huge drive and they went into some national parks and stuff on the way but even that was like fucking long. Oh yeah. Hardcore.

It's a massive, massive place. Let's Google it. Let's Google it. Because Terps wanted to drive when we went to LA for GDC or was it

one of the others? I think we were in LA and he wanted to go to GDC in San Francisco and so he was like let's drive from LA to San Francisco and I was like

what the fuck? No. And he was like well we've got two days and I'm like what you want to just drive for two fucking was like, what the fuck? No. And he was like, well, we've got two days. And I'm like, what? You want to just drive for two fucking days? Because that's what it'll be. But it's four hours to Vegas.

It's 270 miles. It's four hours to Vegas. Is it? So San Francisco is not that much further. Probably about a six hour drive. Yeah. Okay. Maybe I'm wrong.

Yeah. Like Ottawa to Toronto is about six hours. We used to do that fairly often. Maybe Hatfield's went to some other places then. But man, anyway, we were looking at it and it was like it was like do you feel like you want to just drive all day I mean we went to New Zealand um me and and we drove a lot we started off in Auckland and we drove down to like all the middle of the North Island and when we looked at it when we planned it out I was like okay it looks like it'll be about an hour or two of driving

every day we ended up doing like fucking four to six hours of driving almost every day and it was like so much driving we did because you know we we ended up going to different places and we didn't factor in having to like go to day trips to places sometimes it'd be like an hour to get somewhere an hour fucking around in the local area then an hour coming back it'd be like oh so much like driving yeah these places with lots of space do they have trains in Australia? I know it's kind of a dumb question but I don't know

they do they do definitely in New Zealand they're very you can get a train I think from Auckland to Wellington I think that's actually where Peter Jackson

most like got decided that he was gonna set the Hobbit in New Zealand because he lived in Wellington which is the capital and Auckland's in the top he saw some train tracks and he thought

you know what this is the perfect place. Well, I think the train track takes you through a lot of this crazy Lord of the Rings scenery stuff because it changes. Some of it's volcanic, some of it's mountainous, some of it's kind of tropical. Oh, that's cool. Like Florida, where some of it's more like these rolling hills, like the Hobbit Hills. It's a really interesting train ride.

I need to read up on Australia. It's one of these places that I know nothing about. Like absolutely nothing. I wouldn't even be able to point out where major cities are on a map of Australia. It's like Chile. All of the populations are around like one thin area. No, sorry.

It was a weird thing to say earlier. You're obsessed with Chile chili what's going on so you planning a trip or something p flags do you went to berlin let's quickly talk about this before it fades from your memory okay why did you why did you go to you know me so well literally know me so well it's like he talked about something 10 minutes ago he's gonna have forgotten about it but yeah um yeah so mrs f was out there for a company uh meeting oh and she was out there for like four days or something and then she said look i don't go back i can fly back on the sunday why don't you guys come out on the friday and we'll look around

berlin i was like cool so we took the kids out of school which some people would disagree with but we did it anyway i thought it was educational took them to the berlin wall took them to the brandenburg gate showed them all this you know another country and everything like that i thought it was pretty educational and um because friday generally at school they don't do much anyway like they just kind of dick about so i thought let's take them somewhere so we went to like friday's here at the office exactly it's like friday everywhere is like yeah you know it's almost a weekend let's just fuck around so anyway so we went and looked around berlin and then the whole saturday we were it was just beautiful we went to museums you know we looked all over the place. It was great. Had some lovely meals in Berlin. And, um, on the

Sunday we went to Berlin zoo, um, which is one of the best, like in Europe, I think it's, it's a fantastic zoo. Um, and I took some pictures and I posted them on Instagram and Twitter and stuff. And people were like, not much space, like for the animals. Right. I don't really like the idea of taking animals from the wilderness and locking them in a cage all aboard the whole i'm anti anti that definitely but they had a lot of space it's just hard to fit that space into a photograph and also show the animal well so if i'm taking a picture of an elephant and i want you to see the elephant yes the frame you're right it looks like he doesn't have much space but he's just on one corner of a much larger

area so they did have a lot of space, not compared to the plains of Africa. I get it, right? They should have thousands of miles they have to walk across searching for water and under attack from poachers and tigers and lions, whatever. Well, this is the thing. You can't complain about space in a zoo and then not complain about the fact that the zoo is probably the safest place for these animals nowadays. It's fucking ridiculous. probably the safest place for these animals nowadays it's fucking ridiculous yeah like a lot of zoos have just become like conservation trusts and stuff now because it it's so fucking bad out there in these natural places where animals are meant to live because of poaching and all this

other garbage too there's no load of space well at least they're fucking alive they are alive if you said to the elephant if you said look we can set you free on the savannah as you're meant to live wild and free but there are these assholes that are going to pay a lot of money to come and shoot you yeah also assholes who will shoot you just to cut off part of your body to sell and we can't guarantee that your old home isn't just a big parking lot right now so good luck out there so's like well i think i think it's all right to take some animals and and look after them i guarantee you the zoo fucking these you don't work at a zoo if you don't love animals right these people oh my god definitely loving and looking after these animals and taking care of them and stuff like that yeah but one of the things they do is they saw the tusks off the

elephants uh not in the zoo the zoo they have these massive ivory tusks but in the wild what they'll do is in the preservation is they'll saw the tusks off and let the animals go because that way there's no point the poachers shooting them yeah because it's like well there's nothing to take so you keep them short which is it's like this is the kind of level that we need to go to so it's that dangerous where you're literally having to say look buddy if you go out there wearing this they're gonna shoot you so you've got to cut the tusks off it's awful it's dreadful so i think if people are going to complain about zoos if you i mean when wearing this, they're going to shoot you. So you've got to cut the tusks off. It's awful. It's dreadful. So I think if people are going to complain about zoos,

I mean, when you see the polar bear enclosure, it's really small. Like for an animal that wanders thousands of miles across the ice, I get it. It's really small. But he's not going to die, you know? I mean, yes, it's captivity, but he's still alive. It's not like the zoos 100 years ago where people paid to box the kangaroos and shit like that. It's like, you know, they look after the animals. Yeah, yeah. I animals yeah yeah i don't know i agree i thought it was good i i thought it

was yeah i've been to berlin zoo i went a long time ago i don't know if it's changed a lot and i i remember it sticking out as being pretty great like there's a lot of space like it just didn't look in the photograph but there was a taper there you've never seen a tape here looks like a big fat pig with a long nose. They're really, really adorable, right? He was chilling in the sun. You know when a cat is happy and they have that kind of half moon eyes and they're kind of smiling?

He was the happiest tapir you've ever seen. He was, this is fucking great. He's sitting there, there's food brought to him. It was adorable. I'm like, this guy's happy. How could he not be happy? Zoos are definitely weird. I don't know where it's come from,

but I have this same automatic response almost i think i think sometimes my beliefs and my thoughts and my feelings come from just just osmosis of the world that i live in and the world around me my general feeling about zoos is that yeah like i think there is this worry that they're treating animals cruelly they're keeping animals in cages that they're not allowed to freely freely fly in the sky and i think i have to sort of work to get over that. I think that, well, for example, like birds, right? I feel like if you have a pet bird or a lizard and you put it in a small cage or a small terrarium or whatever,

I think that's very cruel. Or fish in a tank. Like, I automatically think like, oh, that's cruel. But so often I've been told that that's just wrong and like that birds, you know, modern pet birds that you'd have as pets have kind of been bred like cats to the point where they're used to living in cages

and they like it and they can't really survive on their own. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, anything that becomes domesticated kind of doesn't have the survival skills it needs. At the same time, I know that a bird will like kind of pluck its own feathers if it's like stressed out or something and some of them don't like bright

lights and so i went to this place in in in japan um where i saw some some sort of captive birds being held and it felt to me very touristy very cruel yeah and it felt very much like the opposite of what i what i was used to and i'm sure I'm sure that Japan is a very first world country. And I think like Berlin, other zoos I've been to, like Sydney Zoo, Bristol Zoo, like Singapore Zoo, feel very... Bristol Zoo is really good. I really like Bristol Zoo. They feel very open. They feel very caring. They've got a large amount of space.

They've got a large amount because they're very hyper conscious about what they're doing yeah and the impact and and conservation and that the animals you know are not there to be exploited but i'm sure that other countries are not as on top of it and i i think that um yeah like like you have to i had to like kind of fit my i i i just i don't know why i have this low underlying stress level that wants me to like free animals and stuff you know i think i think we we um in britain i think in a lot of a lot of countries scandinavia i think north america canada we have um an attitude to animals where it's it's not just caring but it's empathetic and i think if you

look at the kind of food for instance that gets served in japan they'll serve live animals to be eaten and that's almost unheard of in in the west right it's not something that you see very often but our attitude to animals is very different it's just a cultural difference no yeah we like ours heavily processed exactly we empathize we want to grab into another so that we're not reminded of the fact that essentially an animal has been reared for us to eat yeah whereas in japan they're like fucking cut its head open i'll eat its brains while it's still alive right no problem just like in the raises what the the temple of doom when they serve the eyeballs and the monkey brains and stuff a lot of cultures

to them that's no problem the animal's gonna get eaten who cares if it's alive or dead if it's suffering exactly and the most expensive restaurants there you'll be able to say yeah i want that fish you know and he'll pluck it out cut its head off while it's still moving you know and chop it up for you in front it's just a cultural difference but i think that also extends to their treatment of animals in a zoo where it's more of a commodity than an animal that you're you know respecting in a way like i go to see the elephant i'm like wow that's impressive i'm not like hey look at the fucking elephant in the cage you know i'm not i'm not tormenting it i'm impressed by it and i'm appreciating i think this is changing though

to some extent like i think people are becoming more aware of this and these things things are slowly being being put forward and it's changed change is happening but i think like hmm yeah it's tricky isn't it It's like a tricky topic. Just to cap this one off, Bristol Zoo, really nice. I'd say probably four out of five. Agreed. As it goes for zoos. The only criticism I have of Bristol Zoo

is there's this gigantic, gigantic area with coin-operated rides for kids, which was just like the gates of hell like it was the worst it was impossible to get out of fuck me don't put those things in zoos for christ's sake it takes away from the kids looking at the animals because all they want to do is ride on bob the builder a billion times and i don't have that much money i guess but jesus like i don't have that many coins like i'm trying to go contactless now so please please get rid of those

they need to put those little contactless beep things on the Bob the Builder machines I think it probably brings in some extra money for the zoo it probably does was the other problem at Bristol Zoo the cafe you went in and you ordered your bacon sandwich and just like 25 minutes later

never turned up we have to kill another wild some fucking monkey had eaten it i'm trying to i'm trying to get to the chip talk in half an hour and i've been waiting 25 minutes for my bacon sandwich you bitch so so please come to to bristol we're not the bristol tourist but i said this in the vlog last week so we've got our little statue of the wallace and gromit um the wall Wallace and Gromit statue. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's good. It's nice to walk around.

I don't know why we're giving it so much promo. But it's also the 10-year anniversary, by the way, of the Oxcast. Whoa! It was this week. Oh, this week? So the 9th of July. What are you going to do? Well, me and Simon recorded a one-off podcast,

which should be out already. Is it okay if we put it on this feed? Yeah. I know you guys are quite protective. Absolutely not. Okay. Okay. No.

Well, it's okay. We'll find out somewhere to put it. It'll be fine. You guys can have a look. No, put it on here for goodness sake. My only concern is people will realize that they preferred the simon and lewis podcast and they'll say yeah just do that one now fuck these other yahoos we'll

be out of a job yeah do you have any like positive memories of like the yorks cast and like what's what what's like um anything anything you have to say on this sort of birthday time i've i've made a great living for the past seven years and well it's been great god no regrets okay sitting around in my underpants playing video games all day in your active way definitely recommend yeah anyone anyone who has friends that can bring them up through that that would be great do it fantastic go for it Go for it. T-Flex. I'll get back to you. Well, thank you for listening to the Tri-Force podcast this week, everyone.

We will hopefully be back next week. Yeah, we should be. We'll be back? Yeah. You guys here? Yeah, I don't have any trips or anything. Because inevitably there's going to be this TI period where Pierron's gone for like four weeks.

Oh, yeah. Well, possibly, let's say. Well, he is going to be this TI period where Pierron's gone for like four weeks. Well, possibly, let's say. Well, he is going to be away for like two weeks before TI and then probably gone to TI for like two weeks. I would be away for a month, but I could well be in a position to do the podcast. If I can do it from the cruise ship, that would be pretty hype. That would be pretty nice. Yeah. Imagine you're just talking about something and you make a really bad dad joke

and then the ship's horn goes brrrr. It goes off like perfect timing. That would be great. I feel like that horn is like the summoning of some terrible deep sea beast. Oh, man. The tentacles start coming out. Brrrr.

That would be amazing. Next Thursday is the Battle of the Boyne. Nice. In Northern Ireland. That's the day of the Battle of the Boyne. And it's the birthdays of two children I know. But other than that, I'm free. And the week after that, I'm going to be in Bristol.

Oh, for poker. See you guys next week then. Indeed. Thanks for listening. Adieu, all. Bon voyage and arrivederci. Goodbye. Come on in.

Love you. It's coming out. It's coming out. Love you, bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.