We Are Chelsea - Motherhood and the winning mentality with Sonia Bompastor

Episode Date: October 9, 2024

This is We are Chelsea, the official podcast of Chelsea Women, brought to you in association with Škoda, the official car partner of Chelsea Women and proud supporters of women's sport. www.skoda.co.uk Caz De Moraes is joined by Head Coach Sonia Bompastor. Where does her winning mentality come from? How does she balance work and motherhood? And did she manage to escape the Chelsea intiations? To watch the full episode on YouTube, click here: https://www.youtube.com/@chelseafc/videos Send us your questions to [e-mail] #WeAreChelsea Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to We Are Chelsea, the official podcast of Chelsea Women, brought to you in association with Skoda, the official car partner of Chelsea women and proud supporters of women's sport. I'm Cas de Mores and today I am so happy to be joined by the Chelsea Women's head coach, Sonia Bonpasta. It's only episode three and we've delivered you the coach. Get it. But let's get into it, shall we? This is We Are Chelsea with Sonia Bonposta. So Sonia, welcome to We Are Chelsea. I am so excited that you're on our podcast.

Thank you so much. I'm excited too, but I'll wait to say that at the end. No, I'll give you an easy ride. It should be fun. This is a podcast for the fans. And I guess I have to start this at the beginning. When we knew that Emma was leaving, everyone was really disappointed. And we were like, oh my God, my God, who we're going to get?

who we're going to get and then when it was announced officially that it was you it was just this big oh yes it was such a sigh of relief we were so excited you've been an amazing coach

the things that you've done how did the conversations start and come about yeah we started the conversations in December and I think like yeah I still had one more your contract in

Lyon, you know? But I just felt like for me I had three seasons with Yon as a manager and it was maybe the time to reflect on what was the right timing for me to maybe live because I think in every project

you are involved. I think sometimes it's good to reflect and see you know when is the right timing for you to leave because when you have the same manager and when you are a manager and you have the same group for three seasons in a row. I just feel like that's a long time. So we just started to speak with Chelsea.

And yeah, from my career and also for my personal life, I just felt like it was the right thing to do. Well, talking about your personal life, you've moved to a lovely country full of rain every single day. How have you been adjusting to London life? No, I think we settled in well, really well. we are still in the process to adapt ourselves to the London life. That's a big move for sure.

We moved with the family, four kids. I'm going to come to this. I'm going to come to the four children. I have to say we were just like welcome. We had a really warm welcome from everyone in the club. And we feel already part of the family. So this is something really important for me because I just can give myself and I can give 100 of myself to the club and to my personal life.

So I think it's something really important. Absolutely. I know that Wiki was telling me that she had an initiation song, which was Hakuna Matata. Did you have to do an initiation song or is the manager excluded from that? I have to be honest, that's the first time in my life I had initiation. So as a player and has a coach. Oh, really? Yes.

You never had one as a player? No, never. I was always trying to escape that, and I always find a way to escape. So, yeah, it was the first time in my life ever. So, yeah, it was kind of nice. But I just felt like it was nice for me to have one. What did you think? So I didn't do in myself.

I was with Camille Abil and Theo, my assistant coaches. And we had, oh, I forgot the Ramene La Coupe at La Mesaun. the French song, you know, and we personalise it. So, yeah, we've all the Chelsea female names. And I think it was nice even if like, yeah, our tempo in the, you know, singing and was not a good one. But yeah, we were like quite nice having the female names on it. High scores for effort. 10 out of 10 for making the effort.

Just for the effort. When we spoke to Aggie and I asked her, I said, what's it like? under a new coach she said within probably two minutes sonya was just like i want to win i've come here to win i want to win which obviously as a fan we're all like yes sonia is that your mentality is that something that is just driving through you the whole time yeah i think so since i'm young it's uh yeah this mentality about winning is driving my life uh i have to say my professional life but also my personal life it's like i'm someone who never give up I always make sure I work really hard

but any time I'm doing something I just want to do it in a perfect way so I'm a perfectionist and I just make sure I spend the energy and the time I need to spend to make sure we just reach the goals I mean that is music to a fan's ears that we have a coach that wants to win

and is a perfectionist yeah it's like part of the job but I think every coach wants to have that And yeah, I just feel like lucky to be involved in, yeah, projects where I have the chance to have good players. And coming to Chelsea, I'm just meeting a club who have a lot of ambitions. I think a lot of managers might have the passion and the want to win, but you have backed it up with so many successes, not just as a player and the coach. Yeah, for me, the first thing I want to say, it's like that's two different completely. jobs, being a player and being a coach. I just think like when you are a player, it's about

yourself and everything goes around you. When you are a manager, you never think about yourself. You always think about the other ones, the players, the other members of staff. And I think that's the biggest difference. But I think like the common point from being a player and a manager are my values. Yeah, I always drive my life with my values. And I always drive my life. And I I try to be like driven by that every day when I wake up. And it's about like being respectful to people, being humble, trying to work really hard, trying like to be nice to people and just enjoying and having fun. And I just told my players from the last game like they made me proud because at a moment in the game and at the end of the game,

I just felt like I had fun watching them play. I'm loving you more and more, Sonia. I'm loving you more and more. This is just exactly what we want to hear. Yeah, but the most important is to get results. Yeah. But, okay, so when we talk to people who have had the kind of successes that you've had, it's really obvious and sometimes important to talk about the wins

and all of the brilliant things that you've done. But can you share some of the failures and some of the mistakes that you've done? made that maybe have helped you on your way to success. Yeah, I think when you have failures or bad moments in your career, it happens for sure. It happens to everyone. I just think like, yeah, you need to recognize that's normal and that's part of the process, that's part of feeling sometimes the emotions you are going through. And the only thing for me, it's like, I don't want to leave them for a long time. So as soon as I'm in a situation when I have bad feelings, I'm someone who is really

hard on myself. Anytime we don't get a result, anytime we don't play or we don't have a great performance, it's always my fault. I never take the player's fault. It's always my fault. So anytime we have a bad performance, I always try to make sure next time it won't happen again because this feeling about, yeah, failures about bad emotions, I don't want to leave them, you know, I just want to make sure I only leave the positive emotions. And sometimes

that's good to just say, like, I made a mistake. And I always tell my players, you know, sometimes I have to take so many decisions and every day, every week, every season. And And sometimes that's normal. We are humans. We can make mistakes. And it's just like, how do you recognize that? How do you tell your players, I made a mistake? But from the time I made that mistake, I'm getting sure I'm not going to make that mistake again.

And I think who maybe makes the difference between the manager and the good manager, it's when you don't make as much mistake as someone else. But that's got to be hard because, you know, know, on the pitch, you've got those 11 players and then you've got some on the bench and you've got the wider team. There's a lot of personalities, a lot of skills, a lot of players there for you to control their mistakes always on you. It's a lot for you to try and, I guess it's a lot of pressure is what I'm trying to say if you take all of their mistakes. Do you also take their wins as your wins? No. That's funny. I knew you were going to say that. Yeah.

Yeah, actually, that's funny. For me, my mentality is like when we win, that's about the players, their performance and has a team, has individuals. And when we lose, that's on me. And I have always been this way, you know, even with my family, you know. So, yeah, and I think that pressure maybe gives me an extra motivation because I hate to lose. I hate to be in emotions where I cannot be feeling positive, you know.

And yeah, it's like that's how I have been educated. It's how you were brought up. Yeah, exactly. You had hard parents. Yeah, I mean hard parents, they have always been supportive. But in terms of education, they just told me like Sonia, when you want something in life, you have to fight for it. That's the way it works.

And we were a family with three kids. We were really happy. We didn't have luxury, but we had everything we needed to have. We enjoyed life. But yeah, my parents, since I was a kid, they just told me like, if you want something, you just have to fight for it and, yeah, work hard for it. And yeah, that's for me a good education. And that's also an education I'm trying to give to my children now.

So, yeah, but I feel fine about that, you know, it's like something, yeah, I just took advantage of it. How old are your children? So I have four under ten. So, yeah, the oldest one is nine. I have twins, boy and girl. They are seven years old and the youngest one is three years old. It just started school. I have just become a mom of two.

Yeah. So I had one. I've now had two. And I am finding it so hard. so hard and impossible. How have you got four and you have an incredible career and how are you trying to teach them to fight for things? Because my two-year-old is hard. Yeah, but you just have to say sometimes that's difficult. Sometimes that's hard. Sometimes I just go home and they are giving me hard time and I'm like, oh, come on. But that's normal. And you know, that's good for me

because in my career, you know, you have a lot of pressure. And when you get home, that's the time for me when I can relax and just enjoy time with my kids. Because I have to say, yeah, for sure, having four kids, sometimes that's not always easy, but that's also always good, you know, because you spend time with family. And when, because I told you, like, I'm someone who is really hard on myself. So sometimes when we don't get the results we need to get, it's good to have them around and they don't care about your job. They don't care, they just care about you, their mom, you know?

And they, yeah, they are so proud of you and they just want to see you like have their mom and not have the coach, Chelsea coach, you know. So sometimes it's good also to have these moments when you can relax and spend good time with them. So yeah, you just need to be patient. So it gets better? Yeah, yeah, for sure. even if sometimes it takes some time. I still have Matisse with three years old

and he thinks like he's controlling everything. It just tells me like that's my house. That's my car. That's everything is. Yes, he is. But you just need to be patient and keep explaining him how it works. It's a weird question and I hate to ask because you're a woman and I know because I get it.

But people always ask about the family work. balance and I feel like it's an impossible lie it's just so hard to balance the two and there's so much pressure on women to have this amazing career and have an amazing home life and be like the best mom do you feel that kind of pressure as well because you're so successful but you've also got four children at home do you find that it's it's hard to do the work life balance? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's difficult to find the work balance, you know, find the good balance between work and private life. I think for us, the most important is to find a good organization, you know, having people who take care of the kids when we are not available.

It's a challenge because, you know, for them, when you are living home, it's a disaster. They just want you to stay forever but I have to be honest also I started in a point where I was thinking like that's not possible to be a mom of four kids and having a job with a lot of responsibilities oh you did think that yeah okay in the beginning I'm thinking about you sonya in the beginning I was thinking that and my family just made me realize that's possible sonya if you want to everything is possible and yeah we tried like to think about how we could organize life around the kids and how we could also like find the good balance because as you just said I want to be a good mom but I also want to be a good coach and that's sometimes

difficult because that's two full time jobs and how do you want to share your time between both it's like yeah it's difficult but you when you want to you always find a way even if sometimes it's painful because when I'm living home the kids are crying sometimes but it's good for them to share some moments with me you know sometimes they just come and see the game they watch the game they come to the stadium and at the end they love to come in locker room they love to come on the pitch

and that any of them play football yeah Gamma the the boy seven years old but he only plays for fun you know and the only thing I want him to be, it's like enjoying, you know. But what are you like when you watch him play? I didn't want to say that, but I'm not going that much. Okay. You know why?

Because he's like, he's enjoying and it's too difficult sometimes for me to watch him because. Do you want to go? No, come on. Do you? Exactly. You do, don't you? Yeah, exactly. And I hate when parents does that, you know?

And I just feel like, no, I don't want to go. And sometimes I'm going. but I'm staying far away, you know? In the car, just for... Yeah, not in the car, but far away just for him, like. And at the end, I try only to ask him, like, did you enjoy? And that's it, because I don't want him to be like, I need to be successful playing football

because I don't want him to be like comparing himself with me. So, yeah, it's... It's hard because I think I'm going to be a pushy parent. Yeah. I find it hard. My daughter's like, I mean, the last one, one is eight weeks old and I went to a group and one of the kids had rolled over and I was like why aren't you rolling over come on roll come on and I was like trying to get her to roll what's

wrong with me no nothing nothing wrong you have to that's as a mom your your children they are the most important in your life you know and yeah I would be probably the same just not trying to show people yeah that's maybe yeah exactly that's maybe the difference but that's difficult enough mum chat a little bit about football because that is why we're here two games in the WSL unbeaten what has the start been like and was it what you expected always good to win and I think it was good to start with two victories six points I have to say in terms of performance I think in the first game the performance was good but not great but that's normal you know because

because that's the beginning. We, when you look at the big picture, we only have been working together for nine weeks. And it takes a bit of time, you know, to adjust everything, to make sure everyone is on the same page, especially with this group, because you have a lot of quality and talent, as I just said, but also a lot of players coming from different places,

different countries, different speaking different languages. And I just feel like, yeah, even if when you are a Chelsea coach, it's about getting the results straight since the beginning. But sometimes you need to have some time to work with your players and on your game model, your philosophy. And that's a big transition for everyone. So that's a new era.

As I just said, like, I'm really thankful to Emma because she just left this club in such a great place. But at the same time, I'm coming with my new. new ideas, new philosophy, and it gets sometimes to everyone to adjust themselves to what I'm expecting for them to do. What did you think, or what were your first impressions of the Chelsea fans and the support? Since the beginning, I just felt like, yeah, they were great with me. My first game, my first league game at King's Meadow, I just saw this big banner, yeah, with my face and French words, which was really exciting for me, you know, to see them like, yeah, with me

and welcoming me. After the palace game, they were shouting my name and asking me to wave my hand. So I just feel that that's good. And coming from a place where as a manager, I had some recognition but maybe sometimes during the games we didn't have a lot of crowds you know of fans coming to the game here that's completely different and that's something I want to enjoy but to make sure I enjoy it I just want to make sure we have great results we have great performance and the fans we keep them happy but yeah they are being great to me and I'm thankful the players that I've had on the pod so far have all talked about how you're instilling this confidence, confidence to make mistakes, confidence, just be

brave and try new ideas. I feel like that's quite a bold move for players who are here. They've got used to Emma and new coaches come in with such success behind her the way you have. And you've said, come in, just make mistakes. But surely they're slightly worried about making mistakes because they want to impress you and they want to play. Yeah, exactly. That's part of the context, you know, I'm new. So as you just said, players want to impress me. And for sure, when they make a mistake, they think like, oh, she's going to judge us. And maybe one of my first words to them, to the players, where, like, yeah, I'm not here to judge anyone.

I'm just here to support you, to make sure I help you as much as I can on the pitch and outside the pitch. and yeah just feel comfortable to go try be brave and yeah that's fine you know when you learn about something it's when you make a mistake you make a mistake and you learn about it and after as I told you previously it's like yeah you don't want to make the same mistake twice in a row yeah so that's part of the process when you make mistakes that's where you learn from so that's okay for me and I prefer to have players who in the game want to touch 100 balls and maybe losing 10 of them rather than having a player who is hiding herself. She doesn't want to touch the ball and she only plays 10 balls in the game and she's successful

on 10. But yeah, that's not what I'm looking for. I prefer to have a player who is looking for to play 100 balls and miss some. I'm going to keep that in mind. Yeah, that's... You're giving me so much pep talk here for my own life. You know, even with the kids, yeah, even with the kids, that's the same. You know, I had some conversations with some experts on the management,

leadership, and sometimes some parent, they just want to make a, you know, a cake with their kids. And the kids starts to make the cake and you just ask the kid to have one glass with milk. The kids start to put the milk in the glass and the glass just, drop, fells and broke. And the parents go like, what did you do? You are bad. And suddenly the kid is like,

I'm not going to try again because my mom or my dad, they are like shouting at me. And yeah, it's like when you do the same and your kid just make a mistake, drop the glass and break the glass. And you just say, that's fine. We just buy another one, you know. And they just feel confident enough

to grow and to go again and try. Yeah. That's small things. Yeah, top tip from Sonia, Caroline, by plastic cups. It's easy to say, yeah, it's easy to say, but plastic cups are the best ones. This podcast is brought to you by Skoda, the official car partner of Chelsea women and proud supporters of women's sport. It's football season.

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Have the girls talked to you about the history of the rivalry? You must have had derbies as well in France. How excited do you feel leading up to these big games? Yeah, for sure. Coming from my experience, we also have some derbies in France. And I think that's really special games to play. We had in preseason a game against Arsenal in Washington. So I could feel like the differences between,

the Go Time game and the Arsenal game and yeah being able to play that games this is what we want you know we are competitive persons the players are so competitive the staff and me as a manager we are also competitive and this is

the games we want to play so that's nice I think it just bring like playing being able to play a derby just brings some special motivation and I think like yeah we want to play that games Was it, is it very different having an English derby to say the Leon PSG Derby?

Or is it similar? For the moment, it's difficult for me to compare because I never played in the competition, you know? So, but yeah, for sure like here, maybe the difference is like the both teams are in London, you know? And when we were playing a Derby in France, it was more against Saint-Etyen, who was like 50 kilometres away from Lyon. and PSG was more a game with Rivalety. So yeah, this one will be special for sure. But yeah, we can't wait to play that game. And you've made no secret of the fact that you've come to Chelsea to win the Champions League,

which as fans, it's like the trophy that's eluded us. We were so happy to hear you say that. You've had success in that competition. We've seen the draw. do you feel pressure knowing that it's I mean we love to win but it's the one trophy that we haven't and we really really want to win it so no pressure sonya no and I really really want to win it as well so this is why I decided to join the club I think yeah as I just said like the club has a lot of ambitions and I think the Champions League trophy is a special one to win yeah I

I don't feel negative pressure. I just feel like positive pressure. I know coming here, that's the only trophy the club didn't win yet. And I hope we'll make it as soon as we can. Even if, yeah, all the other clubs are working hard. We have a lot of competition in that competition. Yeah, if we talk about especially that competition. But I think we have all the quality and hold the talent to make sure we go

through the competition and we are successful. So yeah, this is about working hard again and making sure, yeah, we are efficient in the games. But yeah, we have as I just said from last season Chelsea was really close.

They were in the semi-final. They played Barcelona. They beat them in Barcelona and they lost the game here at home but with one player down and I think it changed the game. So they were so close. So, yeah, I think, like, in that competition, small details are really important, and we have to make sure, like, we just bring these small details to our side.

That's what I was going to ask you. I was going to say, when you were obviously not here at Chelsea, but you were watching them in that competition, could you see, were you going, I hope we don't get Chelsea? Oh, okay, that's right. Oh, that's good. That's good. Were you already, were the cogs turning? Yeah, Chelsea has always been a club where I was watching the games. because I just feel like

the club is doing the right things for the women's team to be successful as I just said ownership is investing in women's game here in Chelsea the owners are investing in women's I think they just are giving the right support for us to be successful

and I think like Chelsea is a team where most of players and most coaches want to be and even when I was coaching Lyon Chelsea was a special club for me so yeah they have a lot of quality when we played them in quarter final of Champions League

yeah we just lost and I always I always had a lot of respect for this club so yeah that's great now I'm the Chelsea coach and I'm in your side and yeah I'm trying to my best and trying to work really hard

to make sure we are successful again well I know that you're really busy So I'm going to finish on some quick fan questions. Everyone was excited that you were going to come on. So we've got some fan questions. And some of them are, yeah, nice and easy, I think. What's the best French food, in your opinion? I'm trying to think because, you know, in France,

we have different type of food depending on the regions. Yeah, the location. Yeah, the location. What was the best food in Leon? In you, I would say, Kudel. Oh, okay. You know Kudel? I don't.

It's like big sausage with rice and the cream on top of it. It doesn't look good when I'm trying to explain. But yeah, it was nice. So, Kunel, I would say. But my favorite food is Italian food, lasagna, will be my favorite. Yeah. Well, because on the pod, I'm trying to get the girls to do something called Come Dine with me. If I make some lasagna, probably will be the best of all the team.

Really? Sonia, you are backing your lasagna. But we need to make a competition with the players. Yes. You'll try mine? I will try yours. There's a show. I'm sure you have it in France and it's different people and they all make food in their houses

and then they have to score them. And I want the players to do it. Yeah. So probably I will be in the competition with them. Yeah, cooking my lasagna. Look at this. She's just turned. She's like, bring it on and I'll bring my lasagna.

I back myself. I need to find some time first. Yeah, that's true. She's like, bring whatever you want. I mean, you've got so many different, you've got Swedish food. Yeah, exactly. Spanish food is very good. Even Hannah, she said she's not cooking English.

She'd cook Spanish, yeah. And I have some Portuguese, you know, my parents are Portuguese. Ah, is he said to say Portuguese? Yes. I mean, so. So, we can't get to say Portuguese. Exactly. Very.

I didn't know that. Look at you. I just said, do you speak Portuguese? And she said she does. And I went, very good. That's good to know. And so I said, now we can speak Portuguese. Yeah.

Ah, I love that. Sonia, you are ticking all my boxes. This is fantastic news. And you're backing your life. Well, I'm going to make that competition happen, Sonia. You can't. Tell me when. Tell me when.

I need to prepare myself and make sure I'll get all the ingredients. She's like, tell me when I'm going to back it. I'm going to beat them all. Yeah, exactly. This is what I want. Because remember, I need to give them some confidence. Oh, yeah, let them spill the milk. Yeah, exactly.

Let them spill the milk. Break the glasses. Yeah, exactly. How are you liking the English weather is the second question. No, I have to be fair. I think like we moved in July here. July, August was good, actually. We had some sunny days.

Some. Yes, sun and the weather was, yeah, hot. I mean, like maybe. Sometimes. Sometimes. Not maybe as hot as in France, but not too bad. And yeah, now from the last two weeks, maybe it started to rain a lot. But yeah, I'd be like this now. Just a pre-warning for the next 11 months. I need now to start to, yeah, think about it and being comfortable with it. Maybe the hard part for me will be when it will be dark in winter at 4 o'clock in the afternoon. Yeah, I will miss some sun and some, yeah. But in a way, it's not too dissimilar the weather to maybe Paris. Yeah, but remember I was living in Lyon. Yeah, but you were in Lyon.

Yeah, so Leone's more the south of France. So we get some son over there. She's like, I didn't go to PSG for that reason. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, you know, when I decided to move here, it was something I had in my head when I made the decision. So I'm fine. You've come to terms with it now. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah. So this question is very random, but we're all very curious to know. So on the touchline, you seem to have one air pod in, not the other one. Who's on the other end of the line? Camille Abili, my assistant coach, you know? Yeah. So she watched the game in the stands, HUP, and we are always on the phone call because I think you have a better view when you are HUP.

So we always work like this, and I think it's good to have someone who is like not side pitch and having this big picture of the game. This is so good. But most of the coaches and stuff, they do that. I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this with my husband when my daughter's playing. I'm like, you're up there. I'm going to have the airport.

I'm Sonia. You're up there. Go on. Tell me what's happening. No, it's like a different view. So I have my own opinion, you know. But when you are side pitch, sometimes you are more emotional because you are really close to the players.

And when sometimes, yeah, something happens, you go on the emotions. Rather than when you are up there, it's more like you don't take the emotions and you are more factual on what you see. Okay. And it's important to have this chemistry between both. Both sides. This next question is very random. Okay.

But the question is, which player or players would you trust the most to redecorate your house? Oh, wow. Very random. No, I would say CEO. Just because just before the Crystal Palace game, actually we were talking on the pitch about what was her job, you know, when she will be retiring. Okay. I don't want her to retire her. I just want to make clear for everyone.

But yeah, we were talking about that. and she just told me she studied architect. Oh, yeah. So we were actually speaking about, yeah, her coming and drawing my house, my future house. So maybe I will trust her for that. She seems to have some competence. Okay, I like it.

Sonia, it's been wonderful having you on the pod. I hope you've enjoyed it. Will you come back at some point? Yeah, maybe later. When my English will be better as well. Your English is perfect. Oh, it's really frustrating for me, you know, because I want to say so much more with a nice way to say. But yeah, I'll try my best.

Your way is perfect. You speak really well. Thank you so much. Thank you, Sonia. And thank you for all the parenting tips. You're welcome. Thank you for listening to We Are Chelsea, the official podcast of Chelsea Women, brought to you in association with Skoda, the official car partner of Chelsea women and proud supporters of women's sport.

Remember to subscribe, give us a review and send in your questions to We Are Chelsea at ChelseaFCFCFC.com. See you next time.