Meat Mounds & Mixed Messages
00:00 yeah like it's hard yeah mine's fleshy i have a fleshy mound so can you work out the meat mound to make it how would you like kegels don't exercise like i'm trying to squeeze right now it's not about kegels kegels are inside okay so how do you fucking tighten your meat mound hi i'm laney louie talk show host and entertainment reporter I'm also the editor of LaineyGossip.com, and I am a BTS fan. Yeah, you are. I'm Sasha Tong. I am a producer at an entertainment show here in Canada.
00:35 I'm also a fashion and beauty columnist on LaineyGossip.com. And I am not a big BTS fan. But this is What's Your Drama, where we gossip about you. it's our last episode of the season and i think you sash oh people an update on your titties my titties are good times got my mammo results back and that was good um so thank god for that but also the mammo i think i think i built that up nope i feel like i built that up a little bit too much um didn't barely even feel it except for like when they squish your side tit in um but i will say it was like felt like a bit of a spa because the way that they handle at least my
01:25 woman technician how she handled my breasts have you ever seen someone um when they put pizza dough and they kind of like should move their hands around that's what she was doing and it was it was like kind of the best touch i've had in 15 months yeah and like she like treated my boobs like dough and then she shoves them into the press but i found like it was it was nothing i was actually embarrassed afterwards thinking like i had built it up in my head um so thank you for everybody who people dm'd me people wrote emails people were actually pretty uh shared some pretty personal stories about their cancer history with you and I, which gave me another slap in the face of being like, shut up, you stupid bitch. However much it hurts, go through it. And so if anybody
02:13 is like you, Lainey, you have no worries. You'll be totally fine. Even though I know you probably have theories about why it didn't hurt my tit. No, I'm not going to. No, I actually don't. I I thought that it would hurt more for you. Yes, because you thought that my small tits would be problematic in the press. But they weren't. So, hooray for small-chested women. When it's my time, like, you know, I think in where we live, it's, what, 50? Mm-hmm.
02:43 Then I will go in with the same confidence and attitude that you did because, yes, breast health is important. So, yeah. And you should give yourself a doe breast massage. constantly. Well, I feel like constantly fondling myself. I am not too much. You do. You always say that. I don't do that. But I feel like once a year I'll get felt up in a really beautiful way by my pizza maker slash technician. But this is something I want to talk about before we get into our drama for today is OK. It's summer. I mean, unfortunately, it's been raining in Toronto for a long time but how are you feeling about the bottom bikini trend and let me be specific you
03:28 know the ones that are super high and so it exposes like the vagina skin meat like the top have you seen that where it's so so narrow like so narrow up are you gonna do that is that the trend that you are going to do? I, funny you ask this because I, you know, we've talked about denim shorts, right? You love to talk about denim shorts. I do. And I just got a new pair from Zara and you know, the people who shop at Zara are like 15, 15, yes. 15 year old bodies and 15 year olds at least the ones in my neighborhood are basically wearing jean shorts as bikini bottoms like that's how teeny tiny so i sized up and i so at the back they're actually cut lower so i wasn't worried about like ass labia showing right but i said to yasik i was like can you just look
04:29 at how high cut these are how high cut are your denim shorts that would be a concern they're not obscene I will say they're not obscene but they're higher than I because I wear my denim shorts pretty baggy you've seen right yes they're pretty baggy they're pretty loose and so I don't think I would walk down the street like I don't think I would walk down the street scandalizing anyone because I think we're all almost numb to how short shorts are getting how short short is your short that you're worried he told me that they were pretty short and then I sat down I was like fuck like is my labia squeezing out so to go back to your bikini bottom question no that is not the cut I like but I what I've realized is there's like I use the term fattier I don't mean like
05:21 actual fat cunt but there is there is some people don't have like a meat in that area like it's like flat and bony yeah but I think I have like extra padding there that that look does not work I wish it did i just don't i guess do you know what i'm trying to say like i don't know how to express it but like look on you i just sent you a swimsuit that i want to buy yeah but higher than that and more narrow than that more narrow of a cut i know what you're talking about it's like borat for men for women exactly exactly and the picture you just sent me she has muscle and that's what i've realized are those muscles that you can work there to make them less um what kind of meaty but the front titan the yeah like the front is what I'm talking about I'm not talking about your
06:13 like under girth I'm talking about yeah I know because I have I have like a fat muscular okay I have like a fat mound like a meaty mound a meaty mound okay so there it is right and then there's some people who have a muscular mound yeah like it's hard yeah mine's fleshy i have a fleshy mound so can you work out the meat mound to make it how would you like kegels don't exercise like i'm trying to squeeze right now it's not about kegels kegels are inside okay so how do you fucking tighten your meat mound that's what where that's all i'm leaving it with that's that's i don't know i don't have the answer nor do you but this is you have a whole listeners you have a whole summer long to send us tips on the meat mound please work on your mound if you think you
07:05 can tighten well no we don't want to shame meat mounds no it's just i have a meaty mound so i have a meaty mound i'm not fucking shaming myself i'm just saying can you type do we like whatever but isn't a meaty mound sexy listen it's not sexy or not sexy it just i don't and some people wear those high cut bikinis yeah yeah i want to know if you can yes can you make your mound muscular yes um and that's how we will leave this last podcast that is an important question if you can and you did can we see before and afters a hundred percent yes yeah because yeah anyway um before we get into our questions can you do you like this swimsuit that i just sent you oh i didn't really actually pay attention I was more concentrated on her meat mound hold on stop uh yes that's great
07:56 tell me it's not why do you always buy like why are you on sites like that for bathing suits I would just like everyone to know well where would I go I don't know I wanted a gold bathing suit I know but you how much is that and and no and I don't want you to be shy I want you to tell me how much that fucking bathing suit is on air 200 okay that's not bad the last one you sent me was. Well, the last one I sent you was like a wish list. How much? No, I had to, no, I had to talk you out of it. Right. But it was, yeah, it was like this crazy designer label and I really liked the color. I'm, I've been looking for an either orange or gold one piece swimsuit. It's hard to find. The gold one's great. The gold one's great. Okay. Thank you. Well, I worry about
08:48 your meat mountain though so oops okay um all right our last episode let's get to the questions okay yeah first question hi laney and sasha i'll dive right in two months ago i caught my boss saying some very off colored things about black people we have worked together for a long time and over the years have become close this year has shown a lot of true colors and after he saw my face after he said those incredibly insensitive things he begged me not to tell anyone begged i I conceded and told him I wouldn't say anything if he did the work. Read books. Donate to BLM.
09:23 He did all those things, but I can't help to think if he just went through the actions to save his ass or if it was genuine. Either way, I'm left here two months later feeling gross. What should I do? Do I need to quit? Do I need to go to HR? Or do I just keep trusting that he will do the work? Help.
09:39 Please keep me anonymous. You can make up a name for me. Okay. What's this person's name? you want me to give them a name yeah yeah okay um i'm going to say that this person's name is evan evan okay okay so evan's boss said some gross racist shit i wish evan would have given us as per usual a little bit more backstory about what the boss's character is like um a little bit more like i'm not saying i'm not saying that that would bypass what the boss
10:16 had said but it would just round out more of a story for me to understand like yeah like does the boss have a history of not promoting people of color correct marginalizing them all of that right is he a piece of shit typically yeah although i would like you know evan said that that um they and the boss became pretty close yeah so i feel like evan would have if evan had observed that the boss was suppressing the career opportunities of people of color by poc or doing all of that shit that evan would have had like wouldn't have been surprised by this gross fucking thing that this person said right right but also not close enough to know if the boss slash friend has good intentions right like anyway so really face value is what we need to take this
11:12 at and I mean I'm I get why Evan did what Evan did and and I applaud Evan for because it's hard to stand up to your boss. It just is. But to have called him out and to have acknowledged that he obviously did something wrong and that he needed to do some work on his own to make up for that, it would make me feel very uncomfortable in a work environment knowing that that was not only what my boss thought, said, but it's the act of the boss begging, right? Because, you know, we are we're talking we talk about this all the time we talk about the it's all in the media about cancel culture right so the boss was terrified probably that he would lose his job he or she would lose his job so I don't know what are what are your initial takeaways would you would you
12:08 tell Evan to quit I mean the options Evan have has said is do I quit do I tell HR or do I just trust those are the three options i think it might be too early to take options a or b i would probably if they're friends i love how i asked you and then i just continued to answer this myself um but i would probably what i would probably do is to continue having conversations with my boss so that i could start to suss out if he was being real or performative right to be like hey how are those books going what did you what were your takeaways like you know what are you planning to read next have you like connected with any people in the BIPOC community like you know oh like looking around our work environment like what are you going to do about diversity inclusion like
12:57 I would keep on pressing um so that I could have a better understanding of where the work was actually being done yeah like you sash I I wish we had more information about like what the boss is like and what that history is because it's um I will say this I'm not really approaching I really don't know that we can listen Evan I don't know that we can tell you if you should quit and of course all of that like that's I don't think that that's a come to Jesus moment that we can Jesus for you um but if what I would recommend is like a difference in perspective in terms of how to see this situation. And I think that part of allyship and doing better is,
13:52 and doing the work is like holding each other accountable. Totally. Right? Like I always, always go back to something Ava DuVernay said, last year where she was like, listen, white people, go and do the work and have conversations among yourselves and challenge each other. Leave us alone. We don't need that labor. We are fucking busy doing our shit. We're busy either surviving and trying to thrive or whatnot, right? So what that means is that the rest of us, even other people of color who are not black and who
14:32 are not indigenous we gotta be the like that's gotta be our job now to check and balance each other totally so evan the way i see it i would rather focus this conversation on you and how much i admire you it's hard to call out a number one a friend and secondly a friend who is a boss you are a boss yeah right totally right like i don't know that a lot of people out there as well meaning as we all are there are different layers of pressure and would they have been like yo fucker what the fuck did you just say yeah uh yeah you better read the fucking book here's a stack of them yeah um and i don't know if evan was like making this person read the book report like write a book report but it sounds like it because like evan somehow has proof that the work
15:27 was happening yeah and like making donations like Evan if only more of us could be like you yeah yeah right it's true and the idea of like having to be like oh someone else's blunder means that you have to escape a situation um no and I think that's exactly what you're talking about right you we all have to hold each other accountable right yeah and to challenge that and to call it out every time you see it happen like that is the only way things are going to get better. So you're right. Props to Evan for even being that, that like strong in his opinion and in his right to bring that up. So like Evan, I mean, I'm going back to this, this, the way that you almost, you like at the end or near the end of your message, you said to us, either way,
16:15 I'm left here two months later feeling gross. I don't feel gross for you. I admire you. Um, and, you know, you say this person begged you not to tell anyone and you conceded. But what you did was you gave your own conditions to your boss. Totally, totally. You set conditions. Now, listen, if there's anybody out there who's listening who disagrees with us and has a different perspective, by all means, share it with us. We might be able to share it like in the first episode of next season,
16:50 which isn't going to be too long from now. Give us your perspective. But at this, I just want to focus on like, Evan, what you're doing, because I think more of us, like how many people out there have been afraid to call out family members, friends, neighbors, and you just kind of like, you know, mosey away because it's awkward and it's uncomfortable. And Evan, you went right into the awkward, right into the uncomfortable with someone in a power imbalance like this person is the boss of you and you stood up for what you like
17:26 disagreed with i just want to i just want you hopefully to shift your perspective on that um and as for feeling gross that you quote kept his secret listen i think that um it's not i wouldn't look at this as keeping a secret i would look at it as taking it taking the opportunity to help someone educate themselves totally and even if this person was doing the reading because they were obligated to because they got to save their ass yeah to save their ass i mean that's still better than not doing the reading totally yeah yeah exactly but i would I would say that it would be important to kind of like de-gross yourself to make sure that it wasn't performative is to have these discussions, right? Like if you are his friend, why not
18:25 continue that conversation? That conversation shouldn't end with that one instance. It should continue going on, especially if you guys are working in a work environment whereby you want to make sure everyone feels safe. Like those conversations can continue to happen and should continue to happen. So I guess what I'm saying is, like, you know, I think that if you sort of look at it in a different way, it's not about you being gross. It's about you got in there and did the work too. Yeah. Yeah. So well done you. Yeah. That's a good mind shift, right? As opposed to being like, oh God, I let someone get away with something. Well, maybe you actually didn't. Maybe you actually made a shift or a change in someone's life um that will benefit others imagine if there
19:10 were more people like evan confronting these super fucking awkward conversations at the fucking front door yeah yeah instead of other racialized people having to do that labor and then you know i i it's to me that's like um hopefully there can be more hopefully evan can be that example Yeah. Like, honestly, Evan fucking. Well, I don't think Evan needs. Okay, we don't need to give Evan like an Olympic gold medal here. He did what he should do.
19:39 He did what we should all do. Well, I know, but we don't. I know. Most of us are fucking pussies. That's true. I shouldn't say pussies. Most of us are cowards. Yes.
19:52 All right, next question. You can call me Jill. A little background before I jump in. in the spring of 2019 my husband of 18 years surprised me with packed bags oh nice i was 46 we have two kids i had to fly with one child in middle school to the u.s to tell the kids other kid was going to sports school there high school together in a hotel room while he moved out he had an affair and is now with someone 20 years younger who is his junior at work oh god great mm-hmm i was in shock but i've always been the fixer and the problem solver and basically go
20:36 on with life and truck and basically got on with life and tried to make everything normal for the kids i also had a mom whose mantra has always been why want someone who doesn't want you and I just went all out with this. Enter Jack. Jack and I went to high school together. 10 years ago, Jack was separated and reached out to me. We chatted. I made it clear that I was married and that's where it ended. When the ex moved out, I reached out to Jack on Instagram and we went for coffee. Two weeks later, we went for wine, blah, blah, blah. We started seeing each other because of kids' schedules, mainly mine. It was basically three to four nights every other week. In February of 2020, we said, I love you. He introduced me to his bestie friend couple. He introduced me to
21:15 his bestie friend couple and neighbor friends. In the summer, I met his kids because we bumped into them. Throughout this time, he told me that he hadn't had a previous relationship longer than a few months because the women wanted to meet his kids and it was too early. His ex lives a block away. They share a car. They have keys to each other's houses. They have birthdays together, Sunday night dinners. They went on vacation together with the kids the year before Jack and I met and their families and holidays are intertwined. In the summer of 2020, I asked him if there was room in his life for me after he spent the weekend when he was with me picking up his ex's $1,500 bike, birthday present,
21:51 talking to his friends about it, and her, etc. For my birthday a month prior, he bought me a very nice kitchen knife. Oh, Jesus. That's some fucking high and low right there, but okay. It was nice, but hardly romantic. He said yes, he did have room. In the fall of 2020, he still hadn't told his family about me, still a random friend with his kids,
22:12 and I only knew three friends. We broke up. He said he couldn't give me what I wanted and I deserved more. He also told me he didn't know why he needed his life so separate, that he hadn't planned on meeting anyone until his kids moved out
22:26 and that he should go to therapy. Three days later and we get back together and a few months after that, he told his dad he was seeing someone. I found out in February that he wasn't yet divorced. I was under the impression he was. I was upset and told him I was tired of being a mistress. that he had a wife that helped with the kids and someone he could have fun and sex with.
22:47 Two days later, he told me that he called a lawyer to start the divorce process. Fast forward, we've now met each other's kids. He's almost divorced. He runs over when I'm sick. He tells me he's only loved three women, first girlfriend, his ex, and me. He's changed some things. And when I've been in quarantine, has done everything he can do to help. In short, everything a good boyfriend should do.
23:12 but I still feel like he's kept me in my swim lane and separate from his real life. I'm not jealous of the ex or his kids and have done everything to enable him to spend time with them. I just want to be a part of his real life. We mainly spend time at my house, more since April than ever before. He said it was because of my dog and it was easier for me. I was feeling like he was hiding me, and he finally admitted that it was because his 15-year-old
23:36 had walked in the house one morning to pick something up while I was there. They didn't see me, but my shoes and jacket were there. Jack was so upset, said his son was upset. When the son left, Jack clearly was agitated and he could barely look at me. And so I jumped up and left as quickly as I could. Three weeks ago, he came over for a work Zoom social thing. Family could join. My kids were at their dad's.
23:59 He dressed up and wanted to be on camera and met all my colleagues. 30 minutes after the official portion was done, he wanted to sleep at home and left. I was kind of upset and told him, not a big deal. he wanted to sleep at home, but I could have done the post-Zoom drinks with my friends and didn't. I told him I just wished I had known instead of telling me last minute so I could have arranged accordingly. I had also totally dressed up and it sure as hell wasn't for my colleagues. He got upset and said he should be able to sleep and left. We talked the next day and had a lovely weekend. On Sunday, he was supposed to help me hang pictures but wanted to go for a run close
24:33 to his house and the day was getting on, so he left and did that. Oh, so we left and did that. Then his son called and wanted to play tennis, so our day got cut early. I got home and cried. I called him later in the evening and said, look, I don't want to move in with you, five teenagers between us, two exes. Maybe we just need to be at peace that the situation is complicated, but I want to partner. I want to know that we are leading to a partnership and not separate lives. I told him I wanted to be able to hypothetically plan a vacation a year from now and asked
25:02 if he even knew that he wanted to be with me in a year. he said when we have a good time he did but when we had conversations like the one we were having he didn't i said well i guess that's that and i had my answer he said the relationship wasn't working i asked him not to reach out or try to be my friend unless he changed his mind i haven't heard from him he's a nice guy loved me in a way that was perfect for me told me he hadn't experienced love like this that he knew i would be great with his kids etc it's been three weeks and i need someone to tell me i'm not crazy for wanting more i still don't understand why it didn't work and i'm tired of feeling disposable thank you jill loved me like sorry what was that
25:39 line loved me like what loved me like hang on um loved loved me in a way that was perfect for me no it wasn't jill jill i don't know that's no it wasn't using me and contradicting yourself so i i but jill just wants to hear what she needs to hear oh well she wants to hear what she wants to hear what does she need to hear how about that yeah welcome welcome to the last episode of what's your drama where we're gonna go really in on this because that i mean thank you for all the backstory that is helpful um but like i mean he's pretty much laid out the parameters from the get what he wants his priority is his children which is actually a very nice thing to hear but he has a limited space for her and uh no matter what happens his kids will trump that
26:37 unfortunately he hasn't figured out that balance i guess he went to therapy but not therapy enough to realize that you can incorporate all of that in your life he's not willing to and what fucking stinks like rotten ass shit is when he's like oh i like it when it's good but when these conversations get tough like peace out I'm out what kind of perfect love is that that's a like that's fucking garbage in my world like you you can only Jill can only bring the best of herself for him to like enjoy it outside of that if she brings up how she's feeling that she's feeling left out that she's like you know as she said like in the swimmer lane I don't know what she said it was seemingly was more profound when she said it um is is shit to me you're not getting you're not
27:22 in a perfect relationship if the only part of the relationship that succeeds is the good part. Right. And yet, I hear you when you say that, like, he doesn't get to peace out when things are tough. But the thing is, they only ever fight about one thing. The children. No, like, the separate, you know, what, their big hurdle, they, you know, there's a big hurdle in every relationship yeah more than one hurdle is jill jill wants full integration right she wants to be seen yeah and he hasn't that's not on his timeline no that's problematic only thing they fight about yes so he's peaced out because the thing that they fight about can't be resolved so i don't want to hold it against him that he peaced out over the thing they can't resolve
28:18 because like they can't resolve it right but don't you think he's doing a little bit of dirty work by being like i love you um i'm gonna like like to say someone that you're like in love with and then you only want to have a half-assed relationship with them is confusing i don't think in any oh anyway you should remind me because you read the the letter does he ever spell out like i cannot give you what you want no it's only when when something like this arises he's unwilling to have that conversation right because i mean i can see it but jill's still like what sessions she's met the dad right she's met no he told the dad he told he's seeing someone yeah they you know they have progressed from like when they first met right yeah yeah okay so what's
29:10 your point i've just i just feel like they're both coming at it from a different place like his idea of what like a meaningful relationship right now is for her to kind of still be second best right and that's and if he has he hasn't verbally explained that to her though and i think that's why jill is left confused is because she's like okay well we're in a relationship so i'm gonna have these conversations with you what irks me every time she brings up what irks me they break up well no not either they break up that's yeah that's shit no i think it's and because i think what it comes down to is that this issue is unresolvable okay they like and i think what's unresolvable is what looks like a serious relationship and how each person in this
29:57 relationship defines it so for jill the kind of relationship that is serious that jill wants is total integration the kind of serious relationship that he wants is like partial integration no i i disagree i like is is being in love he's told her he loves her that they're happy together but like having their life and then his like children is separate from her and frankly a lot of people especially who are in relationships after a marriage there are many people who maintain separate residences they are in serious relationships they are in committed monogamous relationships but because they're a little bit older now they had a home before they met this person. Neither one wants to get rid of that property. So they maintain separate
30:55 households. They spend different weekends at whatever. I know several couples like this and nothing is full, like, like, so they're not fully integrating the residence. They're not fully integrating. Which Jill is okay with. Pardon me? Jill says that she doesn't want to move in with him. Yeah. I get what you're saying. Yeah. I know what you're saying. I get what you're saying. and it actually you're right like that can be absolutely functional if both people agree but i would like to say that jill also has kids of her own that are probably the same age and she's able to also integrate she wants to integrate and she's making the time to integrate so i get it and i know what you're saying but if i was jill i would sort of be like jack i'm pretty sure you could integrate
31:43 me a little bit more like i think you're being very generous to jack and i think uh a lot of people will agree with you um because they are either in a relationship like that or have been in a relationship like that but i kind of still think that's a little bit whack because well i think it's a bit whack because he's expressed that he loves her and he knows that that's how she feels like she clearly wants more like something more what his kid feels the kid saw a coat not even a person the kid saw a coat and and it was 15 and got upset like if i'm jack i'm like okay i love jill how can you have how can you love someone and not speak their existence that to me would be offensive like fine we live separately you your kids obviously take
32:32 priority but i'm that invisible that you can't even tell your kids that's i don't know it's been long enough it's we're now what a year into this like i understand where jill's coming from but i'm pretty sure that like there's it's one thing to speak existence it's another like i think jill wants the full meal deal okay and i just don't think this dude is either interested in the full meal deal he's not her on her terms and from her perspective yeah and has a different full meal deal like definition right and um and it's not the same like and that's why like love is not enough like duh yeah you're right we're going back to basics here but that's what we we tell everybody like just because you love someone it's not enough are your values aligned
33:21 like are your dreams aligned or at least your goals like you know it's very basic when two people meet what if you love each other one wants kids and one doesn't that's the most basic one, right? And then two people break up. Like, is one supposed to fucking concede? I love you. Well, if you really love me, you'd want to have kids. Well, fuck, should I? And so here it's the same thing. Well, do you love me or not? I do love you. Well, if you love me, then you have to integrate me in completely into your life. And I have to meet your kids and Thanksgiving's and Christmas is all together. And that might not be his deal. Sure. But I feel like that's a fair ask. like let me at least exist in your world let me let the time okay but it's been a year or more
34:05 actually like okay fine let me rewind a year of turmoil so amidst all of this right everybody's getting divorced so people there's been a pandemic there's been all kinds of crisis so to me a year isn't a very long time you know that like the government of canada insists more than a year married couples be separated for a year so we're dealing with something it's still pretty fucking fresh okay but jack a year first off 15 year olds a year relationship fine is an eternity for grown-ass people in their 40s a year is not that long jack and her of history they obviously like jumped into this thinking that it could be something so wait i give you like check check check all the things that you've said but and i i don't it's not that i want to like keep on
34:53 throwing jack under the bus here but he hasn't been honest from the get like he didn't even tell her that he was not fully divorced so for me i'm just like jack's not the one so no matter what laney we can agree on that yeah yes it doesn't matter how or what or why they're not right for each other no and so that's and like jill's left here blindsided and he's like what what happened Well, he's not ready to be in the relationship that you want. And if you want like a full meal deal relationship, then you're going to have to find it elsewhere because this dude is not ready to give that kind of relationship love to you, period. Yeah.
35:34 I, I think that that is bottom line. Like Jill, you know, you asked us to tell you what you needed to hear or wanted to hear. and in a very long roundabout way what we've done is confirmed for you that yes this is not the right person for you because you want different things period yes yes yes he loved you love is not enough but also take back jill he gave me all the love that i needed or the love that i want no he didn't no he didn't stop like stop pretending like that was joyful what you've had because you've been begging to be uh seen and he does not want you to be seen in the way that you want to be seen or he's not ready or whatever like you're in different places in your life and you want
36:24 different and it ain't happening no it's not happening so jill uh it's been three weeks and i know it's still hard but you've been through worse um that's the consolation prize he said what he said he said what he said right which was yeah and but like also we need to like because jill is like swaying a little bit right jill is like waffling like yeah she wants him called her and so we need to be tough on jill right now this is not right jill no um and your broken heart will mend and you will find somebody else who wants the things that you want yeah totally it's not the guy yeah okay um fair next good luck sorry sorry sorry sorry if um that was i would just like to say jill i was more on your side laney took jacks sorry i didn't take
37:21 jacks yeah you kind of did people want different things yeah but i still think jack was a little bit like a bit of a tool so i just want to let i want to let jill know that i still think that jack like played her and played with her heart a bit okay go on okay well fine um okay next question and the last question of the season i am a divorced 50 year old woman i think that i have it all going on good for you good looking smart athletic funny good job etc i would rate myself 8.5 or 9 out of 10 is that too obnoxious to say no not great i have gone through the divorce ringer and made it out the other side. I've been dating about four years. It's a whole different world out there, both good and bad. Last fall, I met a guy on a dating site. Over two to three
38:10 months, we went out for some walks, coffee, lunch, et cetera. We got on very nicely. He's easy to talk to, although not much physical action looking back on it. I don't know why it wasn't physical, maybe just COVID worries. As Christmas and New Year's approached, he was pressuring me to make holiday plans. I have teenage daughters that I split with my ex and was looking forward to having a quiet holiday without the pressure of being social plus needing a break in general. He separated about one and a half years with older kids who were out of the house and with COVID he was very much on his own over the holidays. He kept pressuring me about the holidays and I couldn't commit to making plans and I told him I wasn't feeling excited about getting together like I
38:48 would want to be and let's be friends blah blah. Fast forward see here's the same situation just in the reverse. The dude wanted more and the woman was like, I just want to chill. You don't want to finish the goddamn letter. Okay, fast forward to February, March. I was back on a dating site. He sent me a like. I sent him a text to say, hi, thanks
39:09 for the like. I should note that as I write this, it feels so grade school. Good Lord. I love this because no matter how old we are, this shit always comes back to the same shit. Totally. Okay. We would text daily and get together, dinner, coffee, good conversations, and slept together two to three
39:28 times a week. I thought that was all good. After about four weeks of sleeping together, on a Friday night, we had dinner, slept together, but I didn't stay over. Then Saturday, we were texting and I asked him what was up for the weekend, to which he said yard work, visiting his mom, dinner with a friend. At first, I didn't think too much about dinner with a friend, but then it occurred to me that this is COVID. What friend, huh? I stopped in for coffee on Sunday, not unusual, and asked about his evening. He was evasive about the dinner details, saying that it was a friend and a girl friend. And then he flipped the tables and said, don't I have any guy friends? In the moment I froze, I could not get my mind to work or figure out how to navigate the conversation. The best I
40:11 could manage to say was that he wasn't answering the question that I wasn't asking. The question didn't get resolved. The convo changed topic and I left shortly. It was still bothering me the next day, so I brought it up again. Again, he responded with the friend explanation and don't I have guy friends. I was better prepared and said yes, but it's a pandemic and if I was having dinner with my friend Bob would simply say so and add that Bob and I are friends from work or whatever the case may be and pointed out that he wasn't saying that. He didn't have a good response to that. Then I said that it sounded like he was on a date. He then asked me to define date, to which I explained that i have a very broad definition of dates walking dates coffee dinner dates i love
40:51 this email yes he said that i'm the only person he's sleeping with no good was coming from that train of conversation and i shifted gears i stated my position that it really doesn't feel good that we slept together on friday and then he had a dinner date on saturday i appreciate that we hadn't had any relationship conversation but that doesn't work for me he said that he didn't feel ready to make that commitment to me, and he wasn't emotionally ready. He said the word commitment a number of times, and I still don't know what he meant by commitment. I think that's about basic, I think that it is about basic integrity, respect, and common decency, which I didn't say out loud in the moment. I explained that before sleeping together, it's pretty much fair game to be dating
41:31 multiple people, but I wasn't comfortable with that now that we had evolved the relationship. He suggested that we continue hanging out, get to know each other, and not sleep together. I thought about it and decided that this suggestion was only going to trigger my insecurities and not going to work out well for me. Also, I asked my vagina to quote you back to you, your vagina never lies. And she said, screw him. I told him that it was best that we continue our separate paths, blah, blah, blah. I was 50% pissed about the date. And the other 50% was that he was shifty in his response, red flag or just a guy. And back to the online dating sites I go. Was I being unreasonable in my expectation do I just need to toughen up how do I avoid being in this
42:11 situation again signed looking for love Lorelai okay Lorelai I kind of am like Lorelai why are you writing in I feel like Lorelai played that perfectly and Lorelai's back on the on the dating apps and like really we could wrap that up with a bow like is she does she just need us to co-sign everything she did because I think that was great she pressed she pressed she pressed he gave her like she pressed many times to be like who's this friend who's this friend who's this friend what do you mean commitment what do you mean commitment what do you mean commitment and he basically just said I'm not ready to commit to you I'd like to date other people and Lorelei was like peace no then that's not what I want congrats like that's what I want to say to
42:56 her congratulations yeah I you know if there's one thing like I didn't you know Lorelai laid this out and I don't know that we got super detailed on like what kind of conversations Lorelai and this dude were having before this weird date that he had or whatnot um but I would say that like what you take away from this Lorelai because as you said dating and is weird out there like no matter what age whoever you are always has been probably getting weirder um like maybe this is a lesson to lay out communication more clearly expectations more clearly right well I think well that's what I think we realized from that last question is there are many different takes to what a commitment means and looks like. Right. And this guy was happy to sleep with her and date
43:55 her. Um, and in his definition, it meant he could still date other women in Lorelei's definition. It means you got to tell me what you're doing if we're sleeping together, right? Like there are rules and regs that everybody abides by and feels comfortable with. And so I'm actually, I think that she learned a lesson here that she can take with her moving forward in her dating life is to kind of like lay that shit out and she was being quite fair you know she's like yeah like see other people if you want to but like then I can't give you all of me and sleep with you and all that sort of stuff right like she she she found the error and corrected it and moved on so I kind of I'm like, I kind of give her props.
44:43 Yeah, me too. Laurel, I, again, like, I mean, I go back to the beginning of your email where you're like, I'm this, I'm that. I'm perfect. You are. Yeah. Like, I'm a perfect person. Go find that perfect partner then.
44:56 You're good. Yeah. I mean, and even whatever the case was, like, you were getting weird vibes, right? Yeah. And you really followed your instincts and you didn't doubt yourself and you, like, you followed through yeah and the guy who's like asking a question with a question is fucking annoying like yeah i don't know like i'm glad that she knew that he was shifty because his answers were shifty he was being shifty he probably is shifty especially at this stage in
45:25 life like i get it with like 20 year olds play that game because like listen you're con you're at that stage in your life when you're just feeling out your relationship style and you're gonna go through your dick phase you're gonna go through your insecure phase you're gonna go through whatever phase you're gonna like get a lot of that where someone responds with uh like your question with a question that's just listen that's just youth and experience but like at now yes of course now there's people yes yes unfortunately yes so Lorelei he kind of did you a favor by showing you early on like oh yeah big time you know what a fucking loser he is and also to go you know your pussy told you the truth yeah that is your gut yeah that is the new gut
46:17 your meat mound yeah told you what to do yes she was like no we're not gonna miss this guy yeah no no this ain't a thing better yeah it's summer Lorelai yeah yes this is the time and you're probably double vaxxed like many people are so now you can go out into the real world and actually have some proper dates and also just see what else is out there yes you're like as as you told us you're hot you're smart you have a great job um and clearly opportunity isn't lacking for you if you're on these dating apps and you are like okay you're meeting some duds but all you need is one It's like, listen, it's happening for you. Yeah.
47:03 People are swiping right or left, whatever it is that is, like, match. Yeah. I like that she has, like, some good gusto and courage, right? She's like, all right, well, back on the dating apps. That's great. That's a great attitude to have. Let your pussy have this summer, Lorelai. Yeah.
47:18 Maybe that's what your pussy is saying. Like, why are you fucking trying to tie me down? The world is opening back up. Girl. It's true. It's true. Girl, listen to her, listen to her and enjoy the next. I would even say like, you know, my motto for the next year is make it rain because
47:36 we have all been holding back. And so now the things are opening up. Do the things, do all the things, even if the things are dicks, do the dicks, do the dicks, do the dicks, do the vaginas. This leads me to when we're coming back. Do you think we're going to be in person doing this podcast? Because I'm very happy not being in person. love you but like this works doesn't it remember in the very beginning like this is what's so cool
48:02 about ending at this time because we started this season in lockdown and like not even realizing that we could do this virtually and it was scary at first because I didn't think that we would be able to do this and have like a back and forth um and I feel like we we succeeded don't you think I know you don't ever like for the sound technician well no but just I'm again I'm not even seeing if we'll do this but i just think that we did a good job like yasik did a good job you and i did a good job you do anna did a good job like we were able to see through this pandemic i hope that this is when we come back you need to leave your home like i might i might actually just make you come over here to do the podcast so that i ensure that you actually leave your
48:47 humans i know slowly you're worried about me you should be yeah i yeah so maybe it can listen technologically, but Sash, I just don't think it's good for you to basically say, oh, look, I actually don't have to leave you to do all the things. This is not, that's not good, Sash. Listen, I'll see you
49:10 this weekend in human form. And I'll go to a grocery store. Small boutique grocery store. Let me baby step into the world. Okay, well, I'm just saying, like, yeah, think about that. Think about that. I have a summer, and then we'll see how September rolls out.
49:28 Maybe I'll be in your house. Have a really great summer, everybody. And if you are in the position to, make it horny. But also then send those horny questions because, again. Yes. Have a really horny summer with lots of drama. And then give us the questions. Fuel us.
49:45 Give us life for September, please. Right. Also, let us know about your meaty mounds. If you have a meaty mound or if you have a muscular mound, we want to know if you can make it muscular. Yes. So keep your questions coming. Keep your questions coming to me at Sasha at LaineyGossip.com.
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