What's Your Drama - Trust Your Vagina & Friend Code

Episode Date: January 14, 2021

Welcome back to the first What's Your Drama of the New Year. Wish I could say Lainey kicked it off with some positivity. Nope, instead she told me the worst thing she could ever tell me. Please. By all means, listen and tell me if you think she's being a good friend.Then it's time to get to your drama. First up we hear from "Aurelia" who is stuck in the friend zone because the man she's crushing on wants children and Aurelia wants no more. Does she cut it off even though she really likes the dude or does she ride it out to see if he changes his mind?Next, it's onto "Olivia" who is stuck in a relationship that is not mentally or physically stimulating. Oh and yeah, one other tidbit: she's crushing on her professor. Pretty sure you know where our advice is going on this one....Finally, we end on "Lindsey" who is thinking about doing her friend dirty. Lindsey just broke up with her boyfriend and now she has eyes for her friend's man. Is she allowed to tap that if they break up? Or does she have to suck it up and deal with the L.We hope you enjoy the show and keep sending me all your DRAMA! Send your advice questions my way at [e-mail]. We also love hearing from you on Twitter at @sasha_tong and @laineygossip and Instagram at @lostandfoundapothecary and @laineygossip. And of course subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, and make sure to leave feedback and comments because it helps others find our show!   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I would rather exert energy than get energy sucked from me. And so that's something that I would, right? That just popped in quantitative. Do you keep hearing podcast ads like this one, for example, but always wonder how you actually get involved with them for your own brand or organization? Well, it's easier than you think. We're Acast, and we give you the platform to do it all yourself. Browse thousands of popular podcasts, choose the shows that match your perfect audience, set your budget, and launch.

And if you want a hand, our podcast specialists are there to help you launch with confidence. This is podcast advertising without barriers. Get started at acast.com slash advertise. Hi, I'm Lainey Louie, talk show host and entertainment reporter. I'm also the editor of LaineyGossip.com, and I am a BTS fan. Yeah, you are. I'm Sasha Tong. I am a producer at an entertainment show here in Canada.

I'm also a fashion and beauty columnist on LaineyGossip.com. And I am not a big BTS fan. But this is What's Your Drama, where we gossip about you. Great. So you're about to make me mad. That's what you have started with. Okay, so this obviously has nothing to do with character. Just looks.

Is this going to? Okay. Oh, okay. So, and I thought this person, so I obviously don't think this person's soul or character is. Are you going to compare me to something or someone? I don't know are you I don't think the person like their character is attractive but I think that their outward appearance is attractive like but I think you're you're more you're about to you're about no see this is I don't want to go there when someone says you look identical to

someone no like you're better looking I'm not saying identical I'm not saying identical I'm I'm saying certain things remind, certain like physical features of this person reminded me of you. Okay. Before you tell me, is this person biracial? She says she is. She says she is. Like I said, this person is not a good human being, but they, like I find them attractive,

not as attractive as you but they have like certain features that remind me of you are they in the list of celebrity are they a no a to d like like f double z double z wow not even a celebrity oh so this is just oh my god if you fucking say that it's that soho fucking bitch is that is it oh i fucking hate you yeah that makes me mad you are a horrible friend no i don't want no the hair like the texture reminded me the texture of the hair how did you see the texture of the hair she has a really nice mouth and you have a really nice mouth i and the shape of her her face but like this i'm not i just i said so many times that the soul you think i look like Soho Karen.

No, I said that there are certain features that are similar. Such as her straight hair. She doesn't have straight hair. It's wavy. And her mouth. And her mouth and the shape of her face. She's pretty, Sash. No, she's not.

Oh, I think she's pretty. No, she's not pretty at all, actually. Okay, well, thanks. Let me think about who I think. what double Z human shit being you remind me of. How many times did I say

this has nothing to do with character it's just appearance. I think listen Soho Karen is a miserable fuck like of a person.

So you're watching GMA you're watching GMA and you were like No it was Gayle King. Or Gayle King sorry. Yes. And you were like oh that looks like Sasha.

No I kept saying like oh like she's whatever she's doing with her mouth like what and it's because you also have those

round glasses okay let's you know those round glasses she was wearing and you wear round glasses like that okay like oh anyway yeah i'm mad now i'm actually mad okay well let's tune in next week when i find your vile doppelganger okay and that's the spirit of 2021 want to totally a new year hi everybody hi welcome back uh we took a little break hope you all are well rested um and uh we are coping with your question is that yeah i hope everyone's just coping i don't even think like hey is everyone doing great i hope everyone's just coping yes coping that's where i'm at never-ending pandemic yes or maybe you've had a vaccine already and if

you you have congratulations but also it means that you are on the front lines um if you have had a vaccine already at this point in can it means you're in like essential services and on the front lines so good luck to you and we love you and thank you so much for your hard work and sorry about the assholes who keep spiking our numbers yeah yeah not everybody's the asshole i will say like there you know there are a lot of essential service workers who can't afford to not go to work i know that and so but apparently at least where we live like there are there is the 30 of households who are just going stupid wild like yeah going over to having people over yeah exactly so um all right are we ready with um some drama yes please okay so uh first

question dear sasha and laney in january this year i relocated to a small town for my job and also to start the next chapter. So I'm assuming this is January 2020. Yeah. I spent the last 25 years raising three kids as a young single mom. I had three kids by the time I was 24. They're now lovely young adults and now it's my time, right? So at 43 years old, single and successful, I moved to this small town and I work on a construction site with a ratio of 10 men to one woman. Woo! Eye candy everywhere. I work with a tight group of guys and we spend a lot of time together over the spring and summer, golfing, going for dinner and drinks before the COVID restrictions really got into place. One of the guys, let's call him Colin, he and I started hanging out without the

rest of the crew in July. He's super smart, engineer, 38, never married, no kids, and attractive. And guess what? There's a mutual attraction. Love this rom-com. One thing leads to another. We sleep together a couple of times. Awesome. No biggie. But we work together, right? So we have an adult conversation and agree, it's best to keep things friendly rather than sexual. Colin also throws in there that he really likes me, but knows I'm done having kids and he wants a family one day. So best not to pursue something that isn't going to go anywhere.

Agreed. All's well, no weirdness. So I figure, cool, that was fun. Glad I got a friend out of it. As time goes on though, things do and don't change. COVID restrictions become more stringent, so we stop socializing, but continue to spend a lot of time together, just the two of us in a bubble. Important to note, we have a tacit agreement to not come off as close pals at work. So we chill at his place, listen to music, share

dinner three or four times a week, text all the time. Sometimes I crash there if we've had too many drinks. Our conversations can get deep. And then he cried on my lap one night telling me about his ex-fiance and I tell him about my ex. He says he's so grateful that I've come into his life. I tell him he's my person here. Since COVID, I haven't been able to make any friends. It feels like a relationship without the sex. I keep telling myself we're friends, that he wants kids and I'm never having any more, that he's filling in a void and nothing more, blah, blah, blah.

But really, I caught a feeling and I know he has too. So my questions are, do I keep Colin as a friend and stuff those feelings down so hard they eventually go away? Do I reopen the conversation with Colin and say, hey, look, man, what we said and what we're doing are two different things and it's fucking with my head? Do I say, hey, Colin, I think we have something really special here. Are you absolutely sure babies are a part of your life plan? Do I end the friendship and just say, hey, man, this is too hard for me emotionally and

I need to free up space in my head to eventually meet someone and suck up the COVID loneliness? Sigh. If I were answering this email, I'd probably recommend ending the friendship, though the thought of that really brings tears to my eyes. I really care about this fucker. I love the time we spend together. We have so much fun. I finally met someone on the same intellectual level as me.

And the barrier to our shared happiness is offspring. For fuck's sake. Lainey, Sasha, what would you do? Signed, sexually and emotionally frustrated, COVID lonely, and probably already know the answer. Okay. They didn't give us a name. So do you want to name her or shall I?

You, please. Okay. So Colin is one – is the name that she's given her dude. Yes. So I'm going to be inspired by Colin Firth in Love Actually and call her Aurelia, who was her love interest character in the movie. Aurelia. Aurelia.

Okay. Well, it's hard because she's laid out all these options. and as she said she kind of knows what she needs to do because option a b c and d all have her being like i should probably leave because he doesn't want the same thing as what i do which is the children thing and i don't know if you can convince someone to ditch out on their desire for a family of their own um i think that we've you know whenever you hear stories like about stuff like that it's a it's a deal breaker it ends up being a deal breaker so she can continue on spending time with this guy but she needs to know that it will eventually end and her

heart will probably be broken and it will be anyway at this point right whether it happens now or six months down the line her heart will be broken so it just depends on if she wants to like stretch that pain out a bit longer. I don't think the pain will get stretched out. Yeah, the more you date, like at some point, they're going to just start being boyfriend and girlfriend. It's weird that she even called like him her friend. They're basically boyfriend and girlfriend at this point.

They're a couple. Yeah. And if you keep on pretending like you guys are going to be more than that a year, two years later, you're just kind of fooling yourself because he is going to break up with you. or you'll break up with him. Either way, it's not lasting, I guess. Right. So, so you're saying shut it down now? Well, shut it down now. Or if you think your heart can handle it,

wait it out until COVID's over. And be ready for it? And be ready for it. Yeah. Either way, he's not going to be your husband. But either way, like, do we really think that Aurelia is going to be able to be like, tomorrow. I'm done with him. No. Exactly. So it's way too comfortable. Oh, really? I have to say, like, you know, you laying out your options is all fine and good, but can we just be honest here

as if you're going to be able to, if we said to you, break up with him right now because there's no future, are you as like, are you really going to be able to? No. No, that ain't happening. So that is not realistic advice for us to give. The most realistic advice for you to give, for us to give you is, okay, now you know what you know, which frankly, I don't know, sometimes is kind of liberating. Like, you know, you've both stated what are deal breakers for you. You don't want any more kids. He wants kids, but so it will end eventually and just get ready for the end game. Yeah. But a lot of us are stupid and like to pretend like at some point our love is going to win over somebody else's desires wants and needs sometimes we think that we have that

power that we'll be able to convince somebody so that is part of this like amendment of our advice which is that's not going to happen you you and your glorious self and your fucking all the sex that you guys are probably going to have which will be all great all the chemistry won't be enough to convince him that he doesn't want children so as long as you're going in with that mindset, knowing that like your magic is not going to win him over, then, then I would just carry on and, and, and cut your losses when, when it's over. Yeah. Because right now they're having a good time. Yeah. I mean, and that's the thing. I, I, you have a good time now. Like there's no sense in, you know, it's, it's all about perspective. Like every day, not to sound

super cheesy fucking corny but like every day that you have a good time together is kind of a gift yeah in these times for sure and later on who knows what's gonna happen but yeah his desires and needs and wants in life are not gonna change neither are yours so just be realistic about it but realism doesn't have to get in the way of like also living in the moment and I think if these were different times like if we were not dealing with a pandemic wherever everybody had to like you know have a bubble and be indoors I would be like drop his ass and find someone else like get on the dating apps go find somebody who you're meant to be with right now but because everyone's locked inside it's not like she's gonna have like this thriving dating life right now you

can't fucking see anybody yeah so that's why I'm like oh this is this is a great fucking deal for right now you're with someone that you enjoy spend that time and when we all are vaccinated and can be mask free and socialize, then yeah, I would jump ship and start dating and finding somebody who's like the right one for this next phase in your life. But for right now, I would be a bit selfish and just like ride the wave of like joy, as you said, you know, like take in the joy. There's not a lot right now. So if you can be with someone that you find is compatible with you right now, fucking go with it. I will say though, that at the same time, while you're being realistic and having a good time, I also would, even though I know, I guess what I'm about to say

makes no sense, but the one thing I'm concerned about is she says she has no friends aside from this guy. Cause right. She moved to the place and it was January and then she met up with all of these people and then COVID blah, blah, blah. So I'm a bit like worried that, you know, she'll have spent this year or however long with this dude and then they come out after covid we get vaccinated and he's like peace out i'm gonna go find someone who wants to have my babies and she's like oh fuck i have no friends so now you're heartbroken and you don't have anyone to hang with right so um yes but how do you make friends how does aurelia make friends in a pandemic when there are restrictions i don't know where aurelia lives and like it's a small town so i'm not sure

what the strict restrictions are but i i would also really think about um opening up your friend group in whatever safe way is possible for you right now whether or not that is connecting more with people online in your small town and in your community and um establishing other connections because and that's whether or not colin wants to stay with you and for you to have to have his babies or not or whatever. That's just healthy. You know, I don't want you to just have one person in your life in this new town. And he happens to be the one bringing you joy right now and you shouldn't stop it. But like, you know, we shouldn't be reliant on just one person to bring us the joy. You're totally right. You're totally right.

So go and find some friends too. That would be, to me, that is my biggest concern here is I would like you to extend your friendship circle i agree good advice so really good luck and um and yeah enjoy the enjoy the i can read between the lines clearly they're like fucking up a good time absolutely good fuck times okay next you know my mom always says when she listens to this podcast she goes you guys talk too much about sex and we do but i think everyone writes us to us about sex everybody talks about sex. The undertone is always sex. Yeah. But I think that like, yes. And 2020 was a really horny year. Pop culture was all about sex. What are you talking about? No, I mean, like 2020 was not a horny year at all. I think in entertainment and consumption and what

people were talking about, even though people may not. Give me an example. I forget. Ariana Grande's album was all fuck music. Sure. You're right. Normal people was all fucking. Oh, that's right. Normal people. Oh my God. That was so long ago. Like there was so much, if people weren't having sex, they were talking about not having sex and therefore sex becomes the conversation. That's true. Okay. But also I'm watching, I'm making my way through Big Mouth right now. And like Big Mouth is essentially a show where the kids like, you know, it's, well, these adults are playing kids but all they think about is sex and they talk about sex and I haven't watched that is it really good it's hilarious I think it's hilarious I got to it really late like pen 15

styles yeah like pen 15 yeah but instead of like it's animated oh it's animated I'm not an animated person I think if you could get past the animated barrier it's it's fucking hilarious like all it is is raging hormones and teens being gross and fucking horny and fucking stupid. That's perfect for Kory. Okay. Exactly. Thank you for that. Yeah.

Thank you. But again, I came to it late too. It's in its fourth season. Just start from season one, episode one, and I guarantee you Kory will be into it. I have no life. I have no life. I have time for four seasons. Anyway, my point is that to answer your mom, everybody's talking about horny shit.

Great. That's the message to my mom who's listening. Hi, Mom! Our podcast specialists are there to help you launch with confidence. This is podcast advertising without barriers. Get started at acast.com slash advertise. All right, next. Dear Sasha and Lainey, I've been dating the same man for the past eight years.

Last year, I moved out of state to begin a master's program in a challenging quantitative field. I don't even know what that means. That's how smart I am. I don't either. You win already. whatever advice we're about to give you I don't know why you're coming to us because you're smarter than we are

he followed me here in January we were not living together before then and he is so happy to be living here with me I'm a bit less enthused than I thought I would be uh huh my boyfriend never finished college and has only held one job that wasn't entry level and quit

because it was too stressful it would bother me sometimes but as I wasn't exactly a high achiever myself it felt unfair to judge him after all my romantic relationship doesn't need to give me everything I need over this past semester I found myself lusting like see what I mean Sash thank you very much everybody is horny don't say Sash it's talk about my mom that's who she's had enough of our sex talk over this past semester I found myself lusting like crazy after my youngish British professor I haven't had a

crush like this since I was a teen while we have a great rapport and our conversations during office hours can border on flirty i'm sensible enough to realize that this crush isn't likely to actualize but it has gotten me thinking about how different the man i'm with is from the sort of man i would have dreamed of being with as a younger woman i'm comparing my reality of a boyfriend who smokes weed and plays video games all day to a fantasy of a worldly man who will lie in bed with me on sunday mornings reading and have deep conversations over dinner and the fantasy doesn't seem that unreasonable i feel like i'm no longer in love with him but there are things that give me pause about actually ending the relationship.

First of all, because of quarantine conditions, he's the only person I'm interacting with in the flesh. Maybe when I'm back to spending time with friends and colleagues and classmates, I won't be so bothered by that, but my boyfriend isn't intellectually stimulating. Also, it doesn't seem fair to end a relationship after eight years over qualities

that weren't important enough to stop me from falling in love with him in the first place. What? Girl. Finally, it seems really cruel to dump a man without a job who moved out of state to be with me and has no friends or family in the area during a pandemic. He'd be losing everything.

I do love him and wouldn't want to destroy him like that. It feels crueler than an ordinary breakup. I will continue to think about the future of this relationship, but it doesn't seem right to end it now. I can't imagine feeling able to until things are a little bit more normal. Even if we did break up, we'd probably have to continue living together for a few months. Here's where the question finally is.

How do you treat a boyfriend that you aren't sure you want to stay with but aren't sure you want to leave? Is it crueler to act like nothing's changed and blindside him if I end things? Or is it crueler to make him feel like he's on notice for months? Am I using him when we have sex or would it be worse to withhold it? Is it dishonest to cuddle? I have suggested a few times that it would be nice if he tried to be a bit more cultured and things haven't changed.

But should I tell him I'm considering leaving him over that? If I left him, it would be to pursue a completely different sort of man. So an ultimatum or list of changes doesn't make sense to me because I don't simply want a better version of him. What should I do? Oh, I like this question so much. Many layers. OK, well, what are your initial thoughts?

Well, my initial thoughts when I read this, it brought me back to your post that you wrote this week about Jason Sudeikis and Olivia Wilde. Should I read what she said? Yes, because I think that is what is important here. so in 2012 Olivia Wilde participated in like a monologue comedy night and this was part of her monologue about how why she wanted to end her first marriage um what's our what's our person's name here sorry let me just check the name I don't know oh they didn't give us a name so Olivia so this is what Olivia Wilde said on this monologue night about her marriage

her first marriage well yeah she never married Jason Sotakis but okay so she said on stage I felt like my vagina died turned off lights out and you can lie to your relatives at Christmas dinner and tell them everything on the home front is just peachy but you cannot lie to your vagina ultimately and then she she says sometimes your vagina dies then you know it's time to go there's no reason to sacrifice your womanhood and femininity for some sort of weird feeling of responsibility to something that may not be right. I feel like far too many women do that. So that is from Olivia to our Olivia. Take that advice. Listen to your vagina. Listen to your vagina and also kind of stop feeling sorry for the other person when you in fact should just actually feel sorry

for yourself if you're not in a fulfilling, happy relationship. And like, of course, this can go back to oh the grass is always greener but like when your eyes for me at least I've always known the end of a relationship is near when my eye starts to wander like and really wander like the professor is dangling that carrot obviously he doesn't he's not doing it on purpose but like she sees that carrot and she knows she wants a fucking bite from that carrot so don't deny yourself of that. Like, is it is it better to string along someone? No, he's still going to be fucking devastated. So fucking I think it's I think it's crueler to. To lie to the relationship, I think it's I think it's cooler to keep someone hanging when, you know, you want to cut them

off soon. And it's actually selfish, right? Like you're saying, oh, I feel so bad for him. He doesn't have a fucking job. You really actually are just scared because you don't want to hurt someone's feelings and you don't want to have to be the person who bears that pain. Well, fucking too bad, so sad. Like you're not, you don't want to be in this relationship. Do I think you should break up tomorrow? No, but like you should definitely start thinking about breaking up with him soon. Soon. Like what is the point of breaking up with him? Like staying together all this time and then like you get your like you both get your vaccines and it's like peace out like no no no no yeah you're done it's it really really sounds like you're done

and if you are cuddling with him and if you are like fucking him it's because you're like she cares for him yeah but she also bored but she also cares for him right like I'm not questioning that. But do I think that you are like there's any hope in this relationship? No. Do I think you need to have a conversation with him and be like, hey, you're a dummy. I'd like someone smarter. I don't think that's necessary either. Yeah. But I think that, you know, Olivia is wrong about so many things, including, you know, it's so unfair that eight years ago I fell in love with him. And now the qualities that I fell in love with, I don't like anymore. Like we people change. Yeah, of course.

I'm not saying relationships should be like our palettes, but, you know, eight years ago, if our flavor or style palettes, eight years ago, think about what we wore eight years ago. Half the shit we wore eight years ago, we would not, like bootcut jeans, man, probably longer than eight years ago, actually. Bootcut low rise. I don't even wear skinny jeans anymore. Your boyfriend, your boyfriend is bootcut low rise jeans. Do you want to go back to that? No. right like it we change that is the whole point you know you are getting like you what what what

what the fuck is the shit quantitative field i don't know i wish that i knew some fucking super smart smart stuff right like you are you you are pursuing a different kind of knowledge you are expanding your horizons of course you're going to change why should you it there's nothing wrong with changing the things we like and the things that we're attracted to. And it worries me that you're, like, it worries me that Olivia is, believes that. Yeah. Because I think that that is an obstacle to your happiness. Olivia, if you, number one, if you think you're responsible for making another person happy

who isn't making you happy, that is really backwards. and also you're allowed to change the things that you change in you and that's why fuck relationships are hard because two people have to grow together sometimes they grow apart that's why marriages end that's why relationships end like and you there's no fault to be to be assumed for someone to take and that's why like you know having been married almost 20 years my 20 year wedding anniversary is in November I will tell you that it hasn't always been sexy fuck no and that there were crossroads and serious conversations where we had to have with each other like can you please make sure that I'm interested in you totally yeah I've said that to Yassic I know

you've talked about that before where you were yeah I was like I said I think I said to him like please don't bore me. Yeah. Please have interesting conversation. Please want to have different kinds of conversations with me. And so my point is, Olivia, I don't want you getting hung up on that. Totally. However you choose to exit this relationship, like at some point you're going to have to do it. But all the excuses that you're bringing up are, we are invalidating them. And all the excuses are for the benefit of her. So I just want to get that clear. I know that she's wrapped them up in her concern for her boyfriend but they are really about her she's concerned about hurting somebody's feelings she's concerned about like

like if she wants something different which she clearly does like I don't know I'm just sort of not buying exactly like this empathy for her boyfriend I think she's scared and I think uh she needs that push from us to be like go go get that fucking professor go get that professor's Also, breaking up is fucking hard in the sense of it's a pain in the ass. Like, you know, you have to go look for a new place. It's a burden. The awkwardness when you're talking. It's like that's also I think why sometimes people stay together because they're just fucking lazy.

Like, you know, and I get it. Like, it is a pain in the ass. It takes a lot of energy, which we don't have right now to break up with someone. You have to commit to it. You have to have these long ass fucking talks. Then everybody has to like start looking up. Well, I don't know. I guess the kids these days look up places to live in, back in the day, we used to look in the

newspaper or whatever. Right. You have to fucking look online for a new place to live. Then you have to like change your fucking address. My God, it's like a pain. I get it. I would rather exert energy than get energy sucked from me. And so that's something that I would, right? That just popped in quantitative. I'm studying something. Don't know what quantitative means, but I did just come up with my brain fired. But it's true though, right? It's like, we're like, oh God, I would hate to do all that work, but I'd rather do more work than feel void of energy because I'm in a shitty, no, I don't mean to blame the guy, but I'm in a shitty relationship. I'm not in a relationship that fulfills me. I'd way rather put in energy than get energy drained for sure. So Olivia,

to go back to what Olivia said, your vagina is gasping. Never lies. gasping for what? Your vagina wants a new life. Yeah, it really does. It wants to be touched by a professor. All right. Last question. Hi, Sasha and Lainey. There's a lot of backstory to my problem, but here's the short Coles Notes version. Great. I was dating a guy for a year. Things were good. I work with a super hot, amazing guy. Okay. I just want to, I just want to savor this question because I think I'm really going to love it. It sounds like a haiku. Go. The setup already is my fave. Okay. To recap, she's dating a guy for a year. Things were good. She works with a super hot guy. One of my close friends is single, so I set them up. They start dating. They've been

dating for two months. I break up with my boyfriend. I realize I want to be with my super hot, amazing, perfect colleague. There's some flirting at work. I think he has a crush on me, but he's never crossed a line. That's where I stand right now. Do I have to just deal with the fact that I gave my friend someone who could be good for me and if and when they break up, can I try my luck with him? Thanks, Lindsay. You can call me Lindsay. Lindsay is not her real name okay okay go this is some fucking oh wow um okay can we just i can already see where lindsey's going lindsey's going lindsey's lindsey is can do you think lindsey is a train that can be stopped well wouldn't you want friend code to stop you of course but do you think that this

is a train that can be stopped i'm talking about this situation of course i i want friend code to kick in but i'm do you get the sense that this train is still parked and stationary or do you get the sense that we're hearing from lindsey when the train has left the station i know where you're going with this it makes me realize that I know what kind of person you are because you all whenever we have questions like this you're like you're I don't know I feel like I just get transported to what you were probably like when you were on the dating scene like I bet you were a Lindsay I bet you wanted a like one of your friends mans uh never ever ever really so then that's how why would you go there why do you think that that's human instinct to be like

oh I'm gonna fuck my friend over and fuck the guy that I want I'm a gossip columnist I observe human behavior okay fine the fucking train has left the station yeah exactly but that doesn't mean that it has to make the fucking stop okay to her boyfriend yes I think we can derail it Do you think that it's, do you, well, so this is the thing. I don't think, I have always said that I wouldn't want any of my friends to ever date my exes, but I've always dated people for long amounts of time. I don't know how I would feel if I just was like this young hot thang who had like these two or three month relationships. Like maybe I wouldn't care if one of my friends wanted to fucking tap like one of my boyfriends because it wasn't like this long-term love affair.

I'm not saying that our friend's going to break up with this person anytime soon. This is not what has been put in the Kohl's notes. But does a shorter duration of a relationship allow for friend code to be abandoned? That's my question. Doesn't matter. One week, one year, ten years. Listen, I think we're trying to stop this moving train. But if I'm the friend and I'm with…

Lindsay's calling this guy super hot guy, right? So she set up Super Hot Guy. Super Hot Amazing. Yeah. She set up Super Hot Amazing Guy with her friend. And if I'm the friend, even if it's just two months, I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? This is some, like, deep, dark, level betrayal shit. No matter how frivolous the relationship.

Okay. I don't know, Lindsay, I don't know how close you are with this friend, but if you do what you do like if if you if this train keeps going because you've been flirting at work and you think that he is trouble you think he's crushing on you and I know it's not in you too because I know it's not in you to shut down his crush on you no no oh she's fucking eating that shit up totally um oh this is I would actually hate to be whenever you show up at where you're putting a little bit more into your eyeliner you're putting a little bit more into the hair your clothes

all of that you're looking a little bit tighter amazing right you're showing up and there's basically a wind machine

following you around when you're at work and you are encouraging it so what I'm saying is that you're not gonna stop that

like be prepared then if you keep going down this road for this friendship if I were the friend our friendship

would be over right and I'm pretty sure you too Sash oh for sure yeah so So we're saying to Lindsay, go ahead, go through, but know that you're going to lose a friend.

Is he worth it? As hot as he is. And hey, maybe he's going to give you the best dicking down of your life. Or instead of the dicking down, how about if he is the one for her? Is that worth it to lose a friend? This is hard. I don't know. Yes, I guess so.

I guess if the carnage is a lost friendship for lifelong love. well but you better be wrong but you but you better be sure that this is the guy like you better be sure that this is the guy or you will be forever known as like you know set the girl up and then moved in yeah totally right that's some gnarly ass shit for sure oh my god uh yeah so what are we telling her? What have we told her? What has her advice been thus far? Do it or don't do it. What we've told her is that we see her. You've been warned. No, no. What we've told her is that we have seen her future. Right. That's what we've told her. Okay. And that we know exactly, given that we're probably older, 100% we're older. Of course we are. We're older. We've

been there we've seen some shit we know how this is going down so lindsey um so you know what's her question do i have to just deal with the fact that i gave my friends someone who could be good for me and in theory yes yes yes yes the the quest you asked the question do i have to just and we're saying yes if the question is are you capable of it we don't know yeah we thought most likely. Okay. Oh no. I thought you might capable of actually fucking stealing the guy. Yes. Yeah. So what's the followup question? So it was like, if, should I suck it up? And if, when they break up, can I try my luck with him? That's a hard no. Like here's, that's the giveaway. That's why we are reading her right now. Because the moment you ask this question, it tells me, Lindsay,

you're fucking waiting around for it. You're going in. So already you're putting bad juju out there where you're kind of hoping that these two people will come to an end. And if they do, by all means, go for it. But you will lose a friend and people will definitely talk about you behind your back for years and years to come. No, I mean, if, listen, if they bring up… Yes, they will. She will be known as that person.

We can be up front about it. She can approach the friend. She can be like, hey. Of course. Yeah. But if that's if that is the future that you're holding out for it, Lindsay, which is in and of itself a little bit fucked up and weird, if you're holding out for that eventuality, then everything you do up until that point has to be above board so that the friend doesn't look back on. wait, wait a minute. Did you secretly sabotage us? Like, hey, that Wednesday when he came back home a little bit late, was it you? Like whatever, right? Everything that you do from now until the possible eventual maybe breakup of these two people has to be, you have to be fucking Mother

Teresa. And she's not if they're flirting. Yeah. No. Yeah. Not with you or wind machine walking into work every day. No. Oh, I would hate to be Lindsay. That is a predicament that I would not want to find myself in ever. It sucks for you. Lindsay, I don't know if, yeah. I mean, she had goodwill though, right? There was goodwill. Like she's not, I'm not, I don't want to say to Lindsay you're a horrible person and a horrible friend. Your intentions were good two months ago when you set them up. Yes, for sure. Your intentions right now are a bit suspect. If you are in fact, you know, playing into the hand of this guy and flirting and having your fingers crossed behind your back that they're going to end.

Yeah. Yeah. And like, listen, of course we're not trying to tell you that you're a horrible person, but it's just that I understand like compulsion in terms of I've never done this with a dude that I've set up with a friend and then wanted, but I have been attracted to someone before while in another relationship and been like, I shouldn't do this. I shouldn't do this. And then the fucking next day I look like better than I used to be.

The best you've ever had. Totally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So all of these things are familiar or, you know, because in a different scenario we've been there. It's about whether or not you can turn off attraction and desire. That's why humanity is so complicated. Yeah, totally.

So good luck. Good luck. It's posted. This I would like to know. I really would like to follow along chapter by chapter. Yeah, I know you would. Your book, Lindsay. Yeah.

Please, if it's okay. In fact, I think everybody out there wants to know what's next. This is the drama. This is the drama I want. Yeah. We want to track your train. Totally. Totally.

Let us know, Lindsay. Let us know. So thanks for writing in and keep your questions coming to me at Sasha at LadyGossip.com. And check us out. Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Leave comments and reviews. Thank you so much. And we will be back soon.

Bye. Stay safe. Bye. Do you keep hearing podcast ads like this one, for example, but always wonder how you actually get involved with them for your own brand or organization? Well, it's easier than you think. We're ACAST, and we give you the platform to do it all yourself. Browse thousands of popular podcasts, choose the shows that match your perfect audience,

set your budget, and launch. And if you want a hand, our podcast specialists are there to help you launch with confidence. This is podcast advertising without barriers. Get started at acast.com slash advertise. We'll be right back.