Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 16 - Kirsty Webeck, Alasdair Tremblay-Birchall and Suren Jayemanne

Episode Date: December 26, 2022

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. This episode features comedians Kirsty Webeck, Suren Jayemanne (Good Tucker) and Alasdair Tremblay-Birchall (Two In The Think Tank, Stupid Old Studios)!Check out Matt's stand up special FREE on YouTube: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!See the show live, get tickets via: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and Logo by @muzdoodles! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh my God, can you believe it? It's the year 2024. It's Melbourne Comedy Festival and we've just moved venues. We're at the Grace Darling now. We had a great run at the Chinese Museum, selling out shows by the end, but now we need you to come over to the Grace Darling and shows are at 7.15. It's going to be so much fun. Love to see you there. Let's have a beer. Use discount code DOGOON. The show's called Dry Dry at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Then we're going to Sydney and Brisbane. Tickets to all that stuff's on sale now. And you can find those tickets and details at mattstuartcomedy.com. Welcome to Who Knew It with Matt Stewart, the show where the guests write the wrong answers. I'm the titular Matt Stewart and our first guest this week is comedian Kirsty Webeck. Hello. Welcome, Kirsty. Thank you.

Sorry for cutting you off. We're off to a bad start. Well, it's fine. I left a gap and then I filled the gap myself, which is weird. No, that's all right. I appreciate you and your gap-filling efforts. Bad hosting technique early. Our second contestant is the host of Good Tucker.

It's comedian Saran Jayamana. Hello. Matt, I thought you said you weren't going to leave any more gaps. I know. What have I done? That's just how my brain operates. Yeah. I just speak slow. Sure. So maybe I'm not even my brain operates. Yeah. I just speak slow.

Sure. So maybe I'm not even leaving a gap. Yeah. You know? I think maybe you get thrown by a sort of a unique hello. Yeah, I do. I get thrown by nearly everything. And our third contestant is the host of the Two and the Think Tank podcast.

It's comedian Alistair Tremblay-Birchall. Hello. Hello. Oh. I am thrown. Match in a state. Such a joy to be here, Matthew. Thank you. Thanks so much for joining me.

It's been a while since we've had a three-player game. I'm excited. And as long as I am, I think that's the main thing. I think my excitement will carry us through because you three look underwhelmed. I'm excited. Yeah, I'm excited as well. Many of you might not realise that normally Matt does two players. Yeah, I know.

I've been on it before ATB. And on occasion one player. I don't know. I've never done a one-player show, Al. Four? Never done four. Geez, I don't know. I've never done a one-player show, Al. Four? Never done four. Geez, I don't mind it though. Kirstie, don't you take away my opportunity to mansplain this game.

ATV, I don't know why you're insinuating I've never been on the pod before, but I'm not going to tolerate it. I was just trying to read your faces. I was trying to read. I'm like, they look like they don't know. No, I think what's happened is that Matt's freaked us all out about gaps. Now we're trying to fill every gap. I've never been more stressed in my life.

Look, don't worry about the gaps. I'll edit out any unfilled gaps. Every time someone breathes. I'm going to put a bit of a run into my words and then a little trail at the end. All right, the way the show works is I ask a relatively obscure trivia question and our contestants have to write a convincing fake answer. I then read their answers as well as the real one

and I have to guess which one is correct. All right. The first question comes from listener Cade from Minneapolis slash St. Paul in Minnesota. Okay. The Twin Cities. Oh, really? They've written all that down. Oh, they've written it down. Okay. I thought you knew that. I mean,. Okay, the Twin Cities. Oh, really? They've written all that down.

Oh, they've written it down. Okay, I thought you knew that. I mean, I do know that. Oh. But they also wrote it down. I love, I mean, it's one of the things that I love to tell people about is how Minneapolis and St. Paul in Minnesota are also known as the Twin Cities. Right.

Oh, so both of them are the Twin. And this person is from both cities? Seems like it. Must be right on the line there. Is it that person and the twin? They live in the slash. Yes. Oh, they live of them are the twins. And this person is from both cities? Seems like it. Must be right on the line there. Is it that person and a twin? They live in the slash. Yes. Oh, they live on the slash.

Yeah, they live on the slash. Just one leg in each town. They also said Cade in brackets made with a K. Right. Because I'm not always the best at pronouncing things. Could have been Cade. Cade. Could have been Cade.

All right. Cade's question is, what is a hinny? What is a hinny? All right, while they're riding their ants. Sorry, Kirsty. No, sorry. No, I apologise. No one would know what happened there, but I opened my mouth really wide

as though I was about to speak. You made a gap. I made a gap. In your face. with my face. And then I pulled out when I realised that you were going to speak and feel me. Feel my own gap. Anyway, sorry about – wasn't my mouth so big?

Yeah, it was big. But as I, like, pulled back, I was like, why would I have opened my mouth so big? Yeah, it was big. But as I, like, pulled back, I was like, why would I have opened my mouth so wide? You're taking a big run up. Oh, this is going to be good. That's what I thought. Do you ever have those moments in your day where you just forget you're not a shark?

Yeah. Kirsty, you know that mate can't handle gaps. You can't be creating our physical gaps for Matt to deal with. So while they're writing their answers, I'll explain how the scoring works. So you get one point if your fake answer is guessed by the other contestants and another point if you correctly guessed the answer. By the way, I'm also playing as the house, and I've put in two of my own fake answers for each question,

and I get a point for each one of those that our guests choose so each of us can score up to three points per round seems fair but the probability actually favors me the house my voice broke there and the house always wins though if you've listened to previous episodes you'll know this is not necessarily the case anyway our questions come from our great Patreon supporters. And if you want to submit a question, sign up on any level via patreon.com slash do go on pod, which is linked in the show notes. Do you ever think about recording this bit and just using it over and over again in each show?

Oh, that's such a good idea. What a time saver that would be. Straight up. We still have to write the answers though. That would be too big a gap for Matt to answer. That's true. Matt would be like. Yeah, are you suggesting he's going to create a massive gap for himself?

Yeah, mate. Wouldn't know what to do. There's a man on the edge of a gap. Of a gap. All right, the answers are in. So here's question number one. What is a hinny? So you've got six options.

The smallest coin used in ancient Greece. A purple perennial flower native to the northeast American region. The offspring of a male horse and a female donkey. A barn dance from the Scottish Highlands. The produce of a New Zealand beehive. Or in anatomy parlance, a hinny is a belly button that is half inny, half outy. That's in anatomy parlance. It sounds like it should be like a hinty or like a houndty.

Well, hey, are you all of a sudden some sort of anatomy expert? I'm just saying if it was like from the house. I'd love to have that kind of. I can correct the gag. Really, really love to have that kind of confidence, Al, that you're just going around correcting anatomy parlance. Okay. Do any of you need to hear any of those again?

I do, and I feel like you knew that. Normally when we've got two contestants, there's only five options. Six is quite a few to get through and to memorise. It's robust. So you've got the smallest coin used in ancient Greece, a purple perennial flower native to the northeast American region, the offspring of a male horse and a female donkey, a barn dance from the Scottish Highlands,

the produce of a New Zealand beehive or, in anatomy parlance, a belly button that is half innie, half outie. Can I ask why Al didn't suggest that the offspring of a horse and a donkey would be a honky? Well, because I find that to be a very offensive word to your people. It's been used to my people for many, many centuries. And it's not anatomy parlance, I guess. Yeah, his favourite field.

Which way are you heading here, Kirsty? I still can't remember them, but at the time I bookmarked number three. Number three. The offspring of a male horse and a female donkey. Which is Al. No, I definitely didn't bookmark that one. The one before it? Purple perennial flower.

That's not the one either. All of a sudden they all sound awful. One of these is real. The small coin or the smallest coin from ancient Greece. Scottish Highlands, barn dance. That's what I'm going to lock in. Okay.

Barn dance, Scottish Highlands, locking in for Saran. While Kirstie's singing, you got any thoughts here? I'm going to go the donkey. Male horse, female donkey for Al. Yeah. The hon Yeah, I'm going to go the donkey. Male horse, female donkey for Al?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The honky? I'm sorry, the hinny. Every time you say that, a tear comes into my mother's eyes. The honky is locking in the offspring of a male horse and a female donkey. I'm going to go with the flower because that's the only one I can remember. I think that's as good a reason as any. Can I just say we're dealing with some people who are good at writing

some reasonable sounding answers. Yeah. So there's a lot of realists in this thing and this is going to be a tough game and I want to say good luck to you and a good match. I appreciate those sentiments and thank you for the compliment as well. No problem. Because I'm better at writing the answers to this than I am remembering them in response.

You probably just picked your own. I've tricked myself again. Just not good. All right, well, let's go through who wrote the answers. The smallest coin used in ancient Greece. That was written by the house with cardé. Actually, cardé wrote that. Cade.

It rhymes with mardé. Mardé by cardé. Made with a K. Make. In anatomy parlance, a hinny is a belly button that is half hinny, half outy. That was Saran. And it is a hinny.

You're right. You're probably right. It's not a hinty.. And it is a hinny. You're right. You're probably right. It's not a hinty. Yeah, it's a hinny. You're right. The produce of a New Zealand beehive, that was also the house, which I don't think is even right. What I thought the joke was there was that in the New Zealand accent,

he is like honey, but they wouldn't say honey like that. No, they wouldn't. That doesn't work. Yeah, it doesn't work. And, yeah, I understood what the joke was, but my partner's from New Zealand, so I was like, no, no, she'd never say it. How would she say honey?

Honey. Okay. It's like a foreign language, isn't it? Yeah, I mean. That must take you forever to just, you know. Yeah, we use a lot of gestures. Yeah. Communicating would be a nightmare.

A barn dance from the Scottish Highlands. Seren locked that in. That was Kirsty. Well done. It's a tough game. Got him. Got him. A purple perennial flower was locked in by Kirsty.

That was Al. Al, oh, you dirty dog. Meaning the correct answer is the offspring of a male horse and a female donkey. So two points to Al, one point to Kirsty. It's not a honky. This is going so well for some of us. Yeah.

A honky. Yeah. All right. So quick score update after one round. We've got Seren on zero points. You've played once before, Seren. I don't think you scored a point that whole game. Is that right?

I don't think that's right. I think, no, that could be right. This is early in the game to be shaming him. I'm looking back. I have recorded all the scores. You scored zero points for the summer round. You know what, Kirstie, he might get points later. It's actually maybe his only opportunity to shame him.

Yeah. I just think it's nice for the audience to know how big of a moment it will be if Seren gets a point in the game. And you'll know as well. So I think we can really celebrate it together. No one cares. No one cares because they expect me to be good at this. Yeah, okay.

This will be like a few weeks ago after playing with my indoor soccer team for literally like two and a half years i scored a goal and we're very famous for our celebrations when we score because it happens very infrequently but you probably heard the celebration at your house like when i scored a goal and i'm just imagining that that will happen when serene gets a point today as well yeah We'll like run out into the streets with our shirts off. Shirts will come off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

We thought we heard a thunderclap, but we went outside and it was blue skies. I'll try to save it for somewhere near the end of the podcast. The big finale. Question two. You don't want the building to catch on fire while we're still trying to record the pod. All right. Well, that means we're up to question number two. Actually, was I halfway through the score check there?

Surin on zero, the house on zero, Kirstie on one, but out in front it's ATB. Alistair, Tremblay, Birchland, two points. Thank you. Yay, good job, ATP. Thank you. And good job to both of you. I'm coming.

I'm coming for you. Here's question number two. This one comes from Ashley Dickinson from Bradford in West Yorkshire. I've been to Bradford. Really? What's Bradford like? Bradford's nice. I mean, it's right near Leeds.

Oh, yes. And I had a partner for many years from Leeds, and so I spent a bit of time in Leeds and Bradford. How did they say honey? Honey. Jeez, I was sweating in that gap you left there sweating in the honey all right so Ashley's question is which of these is a real erotic novel self-published in 2015 by prolific author Chuck Tingle. Which of these is a real erotic novel self-published in 2015 by prolific author Chuck Tingle? So you've just got to give us a fake

erotic novel title. And while you're writing your answers, here's some more info on hymns. According to Cade, although most people are familiar with mules, that term is only used to refer to the offspring of a male donkey and a female horse. A female donkey is called a jenny and males are called jacks, so hinny is a portmanteau of horse and jenny. According to Wiki, in general terms, in both the mule and hinny, the foreparts and head of the animal are similar to those of the sire, while the hindparts and tail are more similar to those of the dam. A hinny the four parts and head of the animal are similar to those of the sire while the hind parts and tail are more similar to those of the dam a hinny is generally smaller than a mule with shorter ears and a lighter head the tail is tasseled like that of its donkey mother so that's

interesting the they get from their father if i understand this right they get their head from their dad that's so strange i don't understand science at all. And unfortunately, they've got three scientists joining us on the show today, but they're all deep in question writing mode, so they can't make any sense of it for me. I was just thinking how hard it was to come up with an answer with your dulcet tones in the background. Every time I thought I had a thought, I'd be like, oh, there he is again.

He's still banging on about the hinny. Just let me write the title of a sexy novel, Matt. I'm like, hinny, horny. No, there he is again. He's wrecking it. Horny horse. The horny honky. I hate my answer so much.

Yucky. I'd like to write an erotic novel. Wow. I'd take a page out of Chuck Tingle's book and self-publish one. Yeah, if my name was Kirstie Tingle, I'd absolutely get onto the erotica. Yeah. Absolutely. Kirstie Tingley.

I don't know. How dare you? It does change the tone quite a bit. Yeah, putting the Y on the end really messed me up. Tingley. Alistair Tingley Birchall. Yeah, that's up. Tingly. How was her tingly birchel? Yeah, that's nice. All right.

So the answers are in. Here's question number two. Which of these is a real erotic novel self-published in 2015 by prolific author Chuck Tingle? Adventures of Clyde Weiner, Penis Cop. A Lover's Lust. Splooge McDuck in Fuck Tales. The side of the road and how I railed it.

Single, ready to mingle. So let's get down, Mr Chuck Tingle. Or pounded in the butt by my own butt. What? Yeah, wow. I'm going to need to hear those again. Pounded in the butt by my own butt. I don't think they know how being pounded in the butt works.

I can't believe you're doubting Chuck's work. So here we've got Adventures of Clyde Weiner, Penis Cop, A Lover's Lust, Splooge McDuck and Fuck Tales, The Side of the Road and how I railed it. Single, ready to mingle, so let's get down, Mr. Chuck Tingle, or pound it in the butt by my own butt. One of these is real. Virtually all of them suck.

Do you think all of them could be self-published? Oh, aggressively so. Do you know what? I don't hate my answer anymore. Yeah, I mean, you can see just the penguin from penguin books

just keep putting its hands up. I'm not touching that. We're not publishing that. I feel like I'm putting any skill to figuring out what the other one, the real one is here, and I'm just going to reward, pound it in the butt by my own butt.

Reward good writing. Yeah. I love poetry. And is that a hockey? Also, ATB is going to be relieved to find out that that isn't correct so that then he can use it for his debut erotic novel. I'm going to use it for my change of the title of my comedy festival show. That's good.

That's good. I hope you've got that sweet 10.30 p.m. time slot. I've got 6.30. Out of work, straight into the butt pounding with the butt. It's more than a tingle though, I reckon. Yeah, that's true. It's pounding. I tingle though, I reckon. Yeah, that's true. It's pounding.

I don't think, I think it's too strong. It'll have to be like Alistair's tingly throbbing. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's aggressive. I think I'm going to play straight down the line and just say our love is lost. All right, love is lost for Saran. Locking that in. What are you thinking?

Are you regretting being here? Yeah, yeah, I'm thinking I wish I was still in bed. Never. I'd like to go with the wiener cop. Wiener cop. Yeah, I feel like I don't actually believe that that's it. Like ATB, I'd like to reward it. Reward, good run.

I actually think, you know, if I had any sense, I would change my answer to that. I think that that feels like. Yeah, the one about being viable. If I had any sense, I'd change my answer to that right now. Yeah, but since you're committed to throwing the game. I'm just like, I've got too big a lead. I'm getting cocky.

Yeah. But I'm getting even more butty in my own butt. All right. Well, I think we should go through who wrote the answers here. Firstly, Sploosh McDuck and Fuck Tales. That was written by the house. I really wished it was that one as well. I was pretty happy with that, but, you know.

Fuck Tales. Very subtle. Yeah, I like the subtlety of it. I thought Chuck could have written that. The Side of the Road and How I Railed It, that was Alistair Trumbulli-Burchell. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know about that. Yeah, I didn't feel good about it.

No, I didn't either. No one rewarded the good writing. No, that was, yeah, I didn't either. No one rewarded the good writing. No, it didn't make sense. Probably would need to refer to the fence on the side of the road. A single ready to mingle. So let's get down, Mr. Chuck Tingle. That was written by Saran. Oh, it was good.

That is good. Yeah, but it's an erotic book, not a poetry book. True. Erotic autobiography? Do they do those? Auto erotic biopixiation biography. Adventures of Clyde Weiner, Penis Cop. That was written by The House. Oh, it did reek of The House.

Well, it was written by Ashley, I should say. Did it have a bit of West Yorkshire about it? I mean, I heard that in a Bradford accent. Yeah. But I was still committed to choosing it. And how does that sound? Yeah, nah. Honey.

Honey. Honey. Saran picked A Love Is Lost. That was written by Kirstie. Meaning the correct answer is pounded in the butt by my own butt. Oh, my gosh. How did this happen? No.

So one point to Al, one point to Kirstie, and one point to the house. Seren, I don't know how you've done it again. You're a moth to the flame with my answers, Seren. No, I'm building suspense. You are. Pounded in the butt by my own butt. And I don't know if you love or hate hearing this, but he's written a sequel which is called Pounded in the Butt by My Book,

Pounded in the Butt by My Own Butt. That makes more sense. That's actually possible. That does. I'm like, yeah, that sounds like a good night in. Fatals like that is how you move you some units. Well, I genuinely want to read it now. Like I just want to know what this act is.

I want to, there's so many, he's written so many great titles and I want to tell them all to you now, but I'm definitely using them in future episodes. So I don't want to burn them here today. But when you're writing the next question, I'm going to tell the listeners the synopsis of Pound It In The Butt by my own butt. So I look forward to you being distracted again.

Yeah, I was about to say, can you do it quietly so I can write my answer? Here is question number three. This one was written by Elsa from Tassie. And the question is, on the 19th of February, 1982, a rock star made the news in Texas. Who was the rock star and what had they done? On the 19th of February, 1982, a rock star made the news in Texas. Who was the rock star and what had they done?

What was the date again, sir? 19th of Feb 1982. So while you're writing your answers, I'm going to let the audience know a bit more about Pounding the Butt by my own butt. According to Goodreads, this is its synopsis. Kirk is a scientific researcher on the leading edge of cloning technology, but his team has reached a standstill. In an effort to stabilize rapid clone growth, researchers have been taking DNA from various parts of their bodies and combining it with small amounts of animal DNA. But when the scientists combine samples from Kirk's butt,

brain, and a hawk, the resulting effect is a handsome living arse who immediately sweeps Kirk off his feet over a candlelit dinner for two. Kirk has finally found a lover that truly understands him and is very cool, his own gay arse. I mean, I'm in. That's the synopsis. I want to hear more. I want to see this as a daytime movie.

Yeah, I'd like to see it on a midday, on a Wednesday. Yeah. Of all the animals to splice to create a living butt, a hawk. So that was an interesting one to choose. Yeah. What would you choose? I feel like, you know, like a hippo or some sort of chunkier animal for a living butt.

What about a horse? A horse. Fantastic butts. Horses have lovely bums. Like, yeah, I don't have a bum. Horses have lovely bums. They've got lovely bums. They do.

Like very shapely. I'd love to have a horse. Oh, man. As someone who has a lot of trouble filling a trouser. They've got lovely bums. They've got lovely bums. They do. Like very shapely. I'd love to have a horse. Oh, man. As someone who has a lot of trouble feeling a trouser. And that's like an old school put down, isn't it? Your horse's ass. Yeah.

That should be a compliment. It should be. I'd love someone to call me a horse's ass. I'd be like, thank you. Thanks for noticing. A lot of ass is upper leg, isn't it? And that leg's getting so thick by the time they get to the ass bit. Yeah. It's curvy. It's very curvy. It's got a is that that leg's getting so thick by the time they get to the ass bit yeah yeah it's curvy it's very curvy it's got a beautiful luscious hurt hair kind of thing you

look for on any ass a luscious hair it always looks like it's recently shampooed ass oh yeah pantene sorry i had to fill the gap in by repeating a key word. All right, all the answers are in. Here is question number three. On the 19th of February 1982, a rock star made the news in Texas. Who was the rock star and what had they done? Here are your six options. Annie Lennox ate a then record amount of kippers in a ten-minute sitting.

Eddie Van Halen was brought in for smoking in the lobby of the St Mary's Hospital. Ozzy Osbourne urinated on a statue dedicated to people who died in a battle. A battle. A battle. A battle. Not a battle. That's so disrespectful. A nondescript battle.

They were fighting over a shopping trolley at Walmart, okay, but it was a battle. Keith Richards on stage during a concert. He pounded himself in the butt with his own butt. Gene Simmons was intoxicated on daytime TV and controversially proclaimed that his tongue was bigger than Jesus. Or Jimmy Buffett performed an acoustic version of classical poet Chuck tingles, famous tomb tugged on the knob by my own. Time, not too much.

Do you need to hear those again? I'll get you a knob curling over. Giving the knob a handy. Yeah. A knobby. Giving it a knobby. A reach around. A reach around knobby.

So you had Annie Lennox with the Kippers, Eddie Van Halen smoking in a hospital, Ozzy Osbourne urinating on a statue, Keith Richards pounding himself in the butt with his own butt, Gene Simmons saying that his tongue was bigger than Jesus, or Jimmy Buffett performing Chuck Tingle's famous tome, tugged on the knob by my own knob. Does it say that the paint face guy

that he exposed himself as well no he just proclaimed that his tongue was bigger than Jesus there's nothing in there remotely close to exposing himself you're writing your own fan fiction now what is the question

the question is in 1982 a rock star made the news in Texas. Made the news? Yeah. Yeah, okay. So Texas, I think it's in the south. It's quite religious. So I'm going to say it was the face paint guy exposing himself.

Well, that's not an option. The face paint guy. No, it's, yeah, the tongue. He's saying his tongue himself. Well, that's not an option. The face paint, go on. No, it's, yeah, the tongue. He's saying his tongue is bigger than Jesus. Gene Simmons saying his tongue is bigger than Jesus. Looking at him for Saran. What are you thinking, Al, Kirstie? Any thoughts here?

Oh, God. I mean, any Lennox eating those kippers. What is a kipper? It's a fish. A little fish. Yeah. She wasn't just eating some, she was setting a then record. Yeah.

It feels like a character for her. Yeah, I've never known Annie to smash some little fish. It does feel like that's after the bad news, Yeah, I've never known Annie to smash some little fish. It does feel like that's after the bad news, just the light little story to go out to the weather. And Annie Lennox. The project would love that. Yeah. What a battle.

Well, I mean, you know, these are all just obviously they're just summarised. Yeah, that's right. It would be a specific battle. It's just not written here. Don't defend it. Look, have you locked one in? Yeah. Which one did you lock in?

I went for the tongue bigger than Jesus. Being drunk and saying his tongue was bigger than Jesus. Yeah. Well, I didn't know he was drunk. He was intoxicated. He might not have been drunk. What's the Eddie Van Halen look? He was brought in for smoking in the lobby of the St. Mary's Hospital.

Did you hear my throat just then? A bit of weird noise. Yuck. It's a bit of fun seeing what everyone thinks of as a rock star as well. Yeah. Well, this is a problem. I don't think of anyone as a rock star. So when the question was posed to me, I was like, ugh, who?

I rocked someone who was already newsworthy in 82 as well. Well, yeah, that's the thing, right, because, like, I was born in that year year so it's really hard. Actually, I was born on December the 11th in 1982 so it's really hard for me to remember the events prior to December 11th. Yes. After that, crystal clear. Crystal clear.

Like if it had happened on the 13th of December, bang, no problem. I know who that is. Annie Lennox eating the kippers. That's right, but unfortunately. It's a bit of a red herring, that one, because, yeah, she set that record months later. Turns out it was a silver kipper. One silver kipper.

Look, we're going to be here for the rest of our lives, so we've got to make a call ATB. We're going to go with Ozzy Osbourne. Ozzy Osbourne for Al. You can go the same or you can go a different way, obviously. Jimmy Buffett. You've already locked one in, Serena. You want to change your answer?

No, I'm suggesting for Kirsty. Mate, come on. Was that the tugging his own knob with his own knob? You've got to reward the ride. knob with his own knob. You've got to reward the writing. Let's go with Annie Lennox. Everything within me saying no, don't, Kirsty, but I've done it.

All right, it's locked in. So let's go through who wrote these answers. Jimmy Buffett performing tugged on his knob by his own knob. No, that's all right, but but close enough That was written by Saran Yay Hey, you nearly got us Keith Richard pounding himself in the butt with his own butt That was written by Kirstie

Nearly got you Eddie Van Halen being brought in for smoking in St Mary's Hospital That was written by Al And I really liked Al's work there What was that Eddie Van Halen being brought in for smoking in St. Mary's Hospital. That was written by Al. And I really liked Al's work there. What was that Eddie Van Halen one again? I was trying to bring it back in the global consciousness, you know. That was like, I would have thought the most believable one, but no takers at all.

You know, it's because I thought the question was, what was a rock star arrested for? Oh, gotcha. And I was like, oh. And then I found out it was gotcha. And I was like, oh. And then I found out it was the news. I was like, it's obviously the Kippers. And then I didn't vote for it. Annie Lennox and the Kippers.

That was written by the house. I hate the house. When I wrote it, I was like, I wonder what a Kipper is. And I didn't think to look it up. So I was glad that Al was able to tell me. I think we all chimed in actually, thanks. Sorry to get defensive, but my knowledge of Kip is something I'm very proud of. Gene Simmons saying that his tongue was bigger than Jesus,

that was also written by the house. Just kidding. I thought that was definitely it for a while, but I didn't want to copy, Serene. Meaning the correct answer was Ozzy Osbourne urinated on a statue dedicated to people who died in a battle. In a battle. The Battle of Alamo.

Yeah, but why didn't it say in the Battle of Alamo, not just a battle? Well, I mean, it's still true. No, it is true, but it just sounds so silly. You picked kippers and you're saying this one sounds silly? Okay. You know who sounded silly, Kirsty? You locking in Annie Lennox.

Look, I don't normally turn on a guest like that, but. Yeah, does this podcast have a bullying and harassment policy? Yeah, you've got to talk to them. We'll send you through to the HR later. So that means one point ATB, two points to the house this round, meaning after three rounds the scores are Saran on zero points. I don't know how you do it. Kirstie on two points.

The house on three points, but still out in front on four points. It's Alice Etch on by Birchall. He's a cheat. He's a cheat. Kirstie's like, I don't want to copy Seren because she knows so far on. I'm like, if there's anyone in this room I'm not going to copy. All right, that brings us up to question number four. This one comes from Hayley from Calgary in Canada.

Also, I just want to quickly note that last week's question about spiders was written by Rachel Rook from Darug country in Australia. I accidentally read out the wrong name. And it's been bugging me all week. I reckon it actually. I reckon. Sorry, it's been reckoning me. Anyway, Hayley's question is, which of these is a real species of bug? Okay. I'm so mad. Which of these are real species of bugs? So you've just got to come up with a fake species of bug. While you're doing that, here's a little more info on Ozzy's urination incident from songfacts.com.

In San Antonio for a show on his Diary of a Madman tour, Ozzy has a few dozen too many drinks and passes out in a stupor. His wife slash manager, Sharon, clothes him in her dress and ballerina shoes to deter him from going outside, but the plan fails. Ozzy wanders out into the San Antonio night in his wife's clothes. He eventually feels the need to empty his bladder and selects a seemingly insignificant statue upon which to do the deed. After being accosted by police, the Prince of Darkness quickly discovers that the statue is anything but insignificant. Rather, it is the Alamo Cenotaph, a 60-foot high statue raised in 1939 to honor the Texans who died there at a battle.

It is adjacent to the mission in the Alamo Plaza. The Texans do not take kindly in its defilement. Aussie is banned for life from San Antonio. The story sneaks into the media and quickly morphs into the legend that Ozzy peed on the Alamo itself, which is not actually quite true. It is, in fact, very fortunate for Ozzy that it was not the Alamo mission, as an Alamo guide explains that the rock star would have been beaten within an inch of his life if it had have been. Ozzy instantly regrets the incident. He is released on a $40 bond paid by Jack Orban, the promoter of Osbourne's concert that night.

Ten years later, Ozzy donates $10,000 to the Daughters of the Republic of Texas and his ban from the city is lifted. He chalks the whole thing up to the evils of intoxication. Do you think that $40 that they had to pay to get him out of prison, out of jail, do you think they were able to make that back on that night show? I hope so, yeah. While you're still writing your answers, let's go to a quick break. As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors,

like high blood pressure developed during pregnancy, which can put us two times more at risk of heart disease or stroke. Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca. All right, everyone's answers are in. So here's question number four. Which of these is a real species of bug? Here are your six options. The shiny glove bug, wingle wangle, horny rhino beetle, common cockchafer,

the spangled poet aphid, or ooh, no, yuck, yuck bug. Sounds like Kirstie. Oh no, yuck, yuck, bug. Yeah, that is me when I see bugs. Yeah. Have you ever named a bug? Yeah. Yeah, what would you name a bug? About three minutes ago. I'm not telling you what I would name a bug, Saran.

Is this you desperately grabbing at that point? Oh, I'll tell you what I'd call a bug. Oh, no, yuck, yuck, bug. Don't lock that one in, Saran. Have you actually ever given like a bug a name like Charles or Bob or something like that, like as a kind of a fun little? As a pet. I've done that to a spider.

There you go. Like to try and anthropomorphise it because I'm so arachnophobic. Yeah, right. And I read this thing one time about somebody who'd like, yeah, tried to give it human characteristics like, you know, mentally for themselves. Like a job and. Yeah, just out there providing for.

He's an accountant. Very quick on the keyboard. Eight legs, amazing. How do you type? With my arms and legs. Describing surrender. You don't type with your arms and legs? All right, well, fair enough.

That's why I'm sorry. You've got a lot of time in your day apparently. Yeah, so yeah. And it was somewhat successful. That's good. Like I am definitely still arachnophobic, but I allowed this spider to live in a corner of the bathroom for quite a while. It sounds like you have to do it with every spider.

Yes. Yeah, you've got to get to know them as individuals. Literally because the next one is trying to kill you. Yeah. But they're more like trying to kill you. Yeah. But they're more like trying to kill other bugs, right? I think that's something that I reckon helps some people as well when you realise that they're. Yeah, when they're a helper.

They're a helper. Yeah. I did that with bees successfully. Like I was terrified of bees when I was younger, but I learned enough about them that I was like, they're miracle workers. Yeah. And ever since I haven't been scared of them.

Yeah. But spiders are, oh, no, yuck, yuck. When you talk about that spider being quick on the keyboard, I realized that spiders would only be able to push one key with each leg, but they could do, they could touch type by using multiple legs. Yeah, it'd be like they were tapping. But you realize that we have ten fingers. That's actually very downgrade.

I see what Serene's implying, that it's easier for us to type than a spider. But do you type with your pinky? I do. You kind of only use your spider. No, I use my pinky. Do you? Yeah, I genuinely do.

I'm not just saying that to troll you, but I've got a very active pinky. Yeah, right. Well, I apologise. You can see as well. You can tell. Sorry, listeners, you won't saying that to troll you, but I've got a very active pinky. Yeah, right. Well, I apologise. You can see as well. You can tell. Sorry, listeners, you won't be able to see this, but I'm showing these three good humans my ripped pinky. Yeah.

They've got six packs. Yeah. Yeah, they're huge. I said rimped. I hope nobody noticed. They did now. Rimped like a shrimp. Shrimp look like they're all abs, you know.

Yeah. They are ripped. They're ripped. They're rimped. They're rimped. You're probably going to need to hear them again now. It's been a while since I've read them out the first time. We've got the shiny glove bug, wingle wangle, horny rhino beetle,

common cockchafer, spangled poet aphid, or ooh, no, yuck no yuck yuck bug i mean does anybody else want to have i feel like i have a strong answer that i would like to pick but i'm happy okay go go i think the horny rhino rhino beetle okay horny rhino beetle i'm rooting for that one for our you're rooting for the pun intended i mean yeah we're allowed to pick the same ones as others i know nobody else has picked it but i feel like it's such a good answer that everybody should pick it. Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, that would guarantee that I. No, it wouldn't actually.

I could stay on zero still. I am going to go with the common cockchafer. Common cockchafer for Saran. From experience. This is hard for me because they're both my favourite choices. Got to go for one of them, Kirsty. Or do you want to go half a point for two? What's that one?

We're making up new rules now. You can't do that. Maybe my first point can be a half point. Yeah. What was that one before, the wing wing? Wingle wangle. Wingle wangle., the wing wing? Wingle wangle. Wingle wangle. Wingle wangle.

Wingle wangle. So you've got shiny glove bug, wingle wangle, horny rhino beetle, common cock chaper, the spangled poet aphid or no, yuck, yuck bug. There's two commas in that name. Is that normal for a bug name? Having so much punctuation. Let's go out on a lib here and go Wingle Wangle. Wingle Wangle, okay.

I know everyone's doubting me. I love it because you picked outside of your two favourites. Yeah, I did. I did. I don't know. For some reason it just feels devastating to me if you choose the same answer and someone else gets wrong. Oh, yes. Because you're loading up points for someone.

Yeah, like, oh, that'll be why. I forgot. Yeah, the person gets points. Maybe that is why. But, yeah, I'm like it's a crushing blow. So I like to spread it out. Great, yeah. But, I mean, if multiple people get the right answer,

what a beautiful moment that would be, you know, on the other hand. Oh, yeah, sure, sure. Yeah, no, that's true. That would be euphoria. One of the few moments you get to share. You know, you're a combatant but all of a sudden you can share a moment of joy. Yeah, it would bring us together. It would.

All right, let's go through who wrote the answers. Uno, yuck, yuck bug. That was written by the house. You couldn't tell. The spangled poet aphid was written by Al. That was good. Thank you. That one tricked me a bit.

The shiny glove bug was written by Seren. So still no point to Seren there. That was me trying to write a believable one as well. The Wingle Wangle picked by Kirstie. That was written by The House, in particular Hayley, the question writer. Oh, Hayley, you trick her. You got me. The Horny Rhino Beetle was written by Kirstie.

So I'll point that at Kirstie, meaning the correct answer was the Common Cocktafer. One point to Saran Oh my god Olé, olé, olé Olé, olé Never before seen footage One full point So one point to the house One one point to Kirstie,

one point to Saran. Ding, ding, ding, ding. I'm sorry. Oh, my God. Apparently the cops aren't happy I brought a coach. Wow. I just thought I'd do a new sound I've never done on a podcast before. That was great. I literally thought there was like a new sound I've never done on a podcast before. That was great.

I literally thought there was like an air raid. Air raid. Go to the bunker. The stupid old shooter's bunker. Just when Saran's made his comeback, there's an air raid and we've got to cancel the podcast. So a quick score update after four rounds. Saran is on one point.

Ding, ding, ding. Kirstie on three points. But out in front on four points is The House and Alistair Tremblay-Burchell. Whoa. Tied with The House. That's very close to the top. Everyone but Saran within one point of each other. As we move into question number five, only three questions to go.

This one comes from Brian Nichols from Melbourne who wrote, what were the famous last words of artist, writer, and filmmaker Derek Jarman? What were the famous last words of artist, writer, and filmmaker Derek Jarman? While you're writing your answers, here's some more info about the common cockchafer. Where people can submit their question, there's also a section for fun facts they can write.

And for this, Hayley just wrote, no fun fact, it just has the word cock in it. Yes, it does. Spot on, Hayley. You get the tone of the show and I appreciate that. According to Wiki, the name cockchafer derives from the late 17th century usage of cock in the sense of expressing size or vigour, plus chafer, which simply means an insect of this type, referring to its propensity for gnawing and damaging plants. As such, the name cockchafer can be understood to mean large plant-naughting beetle and is applicable to its history as a pest animal. Fun fact, there have been four Royal Navy ships named HMS Cockchafer.

Alright, the answers are in. Here is question number five. What were the famous last words of artist, writer and filmmaker Derek Jarman? And cut. That's a wrap. I want the world to be filled with white fluffy duckies. Please, no.

I don't want to die. You're born, you live, blah, blah, blah, blah. Can you pass me that glass? Or, Bomberclap, Jarman be about to meet Jarman. What was that? What was that last one?

I'll go through them all again. You got, and cut, that's a wrap. I want the world to be filled with white fluffy duckies. Please no, I don't want to die. You're born, you live, blah, blah, blah, blah. Can you pass me that glass? Or bombaclat, jarman be about to meet jar, man. I don't understand the last one, but I hate it.

It's possibly in the telling, you know. The reading might have made it more confusing than it was maybe written, but I wasn't there. I wasn't there. You weren't there. You know, the last moments of Derek Jarman. I mean, I'm assuming you weren't there. I mean. You can't prove I't there. You weren't there. You know, the last moments of Derek Jarman. I mean, I'm assuming you weren't there. I mean.

You can't prove I was there. You saying that you weren't there is exactly what someone who was there would say. No, I certainly wasn't there, Kirsty. Do we know how Derek Jarman died? Was it murder? No, no, no. I can't say.

I can't say. I choose not to say because I wasn't there. Wow. Do you think I can hear them one more time? Yeah. No, I'm relieved. This time, nail the performance. Okay.

And cut. That's a wrap. I want the world to be filled with white fluffy duckies. Please no. I don't want to die. You're born, you live, blah, blah, blah, blah. Can you pass me that glass? Or bomb a clap.

Jarman be about to meet Jarman, man. Oof. I can't believe I hate it even more than I'm around. Now, Kirstie, I don't think you've locked one in first yet. Do you want to just lock one in? Because this means you don't have to be put off by someone else locking something in. Yeah, great.

I love that. Let's go and cut. That's a wrap. And cut. That's a wrap, Kirstie. It's so sassy. I doubt that that's the answer, but it's sassy, and I'm probably going to become a filmmaker now,

so I can use that when I'm dying. I like it. I've used this kind of question a few times and, yeah, there are some that are clearly pre-planned. They're like, oh, I'm about to go here. Time to say the line and then just having to, like, be silent for as long as it takes till you're done. Yeah.

I want people to remember my great last line. Yeah, maybe I'll just, as a comedian, maybe I'll just go, you've been a wonderful audience. Thanks so much for being here. That's really good. Why am I snoring? Are you confusing death with napping? Yeah, mate, I die every night at 9.30 p.m.

It could be death by, like, sleep apnea or something. Look, as I did it, I was like, I don't think this is going to happen. It's hard to, on a podcast, it's hard to portray death, isn't it? Yeah, but I would suggest you don't do it by snoring. But they say after the brain dies, the back of the throat continues to live for another five minutes. Obstructed by your tongue. I guess you could have done like a beep of one of those machines

at the hospital. That's maybe the sound you could do. I'm just trying to think of a sound you could make. Yeah, no, you're right. There's so many things that I could have done that weren't. That's okay. That's our rap. Yeah, that plays.

I think that works, yeah. Al, do you have a thought here, Saran? Are we locking in? Blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. That's a good one. That was where my thinking was. I'm also going to go for blah, blah, blah.

Okay, blah, blah, blah, blah. Al, all right. Well, let's go through the answers. Bomberclat. Jarman be about to meet Jarman was written by Al. And I've been hanging out for this moment. What does this mean? Well, I think I'm referring to

Yahweh. Oh, so it's not, I shouldn't be saying Jar, I should have been saying Yar. No, I mean, I would probably just say Jar because that's how I've always heard it. At least Ali G say it. And so I think I was Oh bomber clout ali g i think it's more of like a rastafarian right you know like caribbean culture maybe this is al getting revenge because you called him honky and he's like let's see who's

racist that's right yeah i made you put on a fake patois yeah Yeah. Did I put it on? No. You seem to be really trying not to say it properly. Well, I just wasn't quite sure how it was meant to be said, but it was because. I'm so glad that you didn't take the bait. Yeah. If you put in brackets, Ali G accent, then I would have probably known where you were going. Anyway.

I should have put me Julie. Yeah, if you put me Julie. Lop a clap. Can you pass me that glass? That was written by Kirstie. And no one took the bait, which is, I don't know. I couldn't concentrate. That would be good.

Good last words. I reckon as well. Thank you. Please, no, I don't want to die. That was written by Seren. You're born. Oh, sorry, Ann, cut. That's a wrap.

That was written by the house. I hate the house. One point of the house there. You're born, you live, blah, blah, blah, blah. Also written by the house. So maximum three points for the house. I hate this. I don't like winning, Kirsty.

And that means the real answer is I want the world to be filled with white fluffy duckies. I hated that one the most. Yeah, me too. What a wasted opportunity. Didn't have any consistency, no relevance. We're up to question six. Two more questions to go.

This one comes from, do you want a quick score check? That's brutal. I need you three to lift now because the scores are Serena one point, Kirstie on three points, Alistair on four points, but way out in front now is the house on seven points. Rigged. But as the house just showed, you can get three points any round and it's very quickly.

Don't boast. It doesn't suit you, the house. Even Serena, if he gets maximum points the last two rounds, he will level with the house. Even Serena. Even Serena. Historically, it's the worst rounds, he will level with the house. Even Seren. Even Seren. Historically, he's the worst guest we've ever seen on the pot. That's not what I was saying.

Seren often sacrifices himself with silly answers for the entertainment of the listeners, and I think that's a noble cause. Okay. Here's question number six. Vitali Sparacello from Italy, who says he previously lived in Bordeaux and also Durham in the UK and Albuquerque, New Mexico. He's been around and he doesn't care who knows it.

So Vitaly's question is, what happened the night of the 30th of October 2013 in Bordeaux, France? What happened the night of the 30th of October 2013 in Bordeaux, France. What happened the night of the 30th of October, 2013 in Bordeaux, France? While you're writing those answers, here's some more info on Derek Jarman. He was an English artist, filmmaker, costume designer, stage designer, writer, gardener, and gay rights activist. He could do it all. He directed many films.

He's seen as being very influential. But he also directed a bunch of music clips for bands such as The Smiths, Pet Shop Boys, Sex Pistols, Brian Ferry and Wang Chung. Fantastic group of bands that is. That's good stuff. All right, the answers are in. Here's question number six. What happened the night of the 30th of October 2013 in Bordeaux, France? The wine ran out on the second day of the annual wine festival La Vie en Rosé.

How's my French there? Très bien, Mathieu. How do you think that would be said? La Vie en Rosé? La vie en rose? La vie en rose? Oh, my God. Fuck, that sounded so good. The wine ran out on the second day of the annual wine festival,

La vie en rose, sparking a revolt of the paying participants now known as the War of the Rosés. A secret meeting was held between dissatisfied parties who believed that the French football team's management needed to be overthrown. Due to a mishap, they accidentally ate hash brownies, curtailing the meeting, but causing them to have an epiphany that football isn't really worth getting so worked up about.

Hundreds of fish fell from the sky completely inexplicably. On this fateful night, a battle was fought that would years later be represented in a statue. That Ozzy Osbourne pisses on. A group of five guys stole a llama from a circus and went on a bender, which included a ride on a tram. or Giaume Laplace broke into an escargot farm and ate the whole season's crop in one sitting.

He spent eight weeks in hospital due to snail poisoning. Okay, so you've got the six options there. One of these things really happened. I don't think what is at an escargot farm is called a crop. It's been a bumper crop this year. Ah, those snails have been fucking like crazy. You've got to scrape them off the ground, I assume. It's a nightmare.

A crop of best car go, lol. I love that. What are you thinking, Kirsty? Oof, I'm having a rough one. I've got answers number one and two, amnesia. So you've got the War of the Rosés, you've got the football people having an epiphany, you've got hundreds of fish falling from the sky,

you've got a fateful night where a battle was fought that would years later be represented in a statue, you've got five guys stealing a llama from a circus, going on a bender including a tram ride, or the guy who broke into an escargot farm and ate the whole season's crop in one sitting. All right. It's fish from the sky or llamas for me. All right, because I already did a fish-based one with Annie Lennox.

You did. Fish has sent you down the wrong path once. You won't fall for that again. Yeah, that red herring, that's right. This is how I'll differentiate. Yeah, they're on par. I'm going to go with the llama, the stolen llama. Llama for Kirsty.

Fish falling from the sky. Fish from the sky for Soren. I'm also going for fish. Also for fish for Al. All right, let's go through the answers. Who wrote them? The War of the Rosés. That was written by the house.

Couldn't tell. Fatali in particular, although I did add the War of the Rosés, which I thought was a beautiful touch. It was, but it also reeked of you in the Dead Set giveaway. The football trying to overthrow, the two football trying to overthrow the two guys trying to overthrow the football, French football, but having an epiphany. That was also the house.

Guadalupe Laplace breaking into the escargot farm. That was Alistair. Now, how many words did I pronounce wrong in that? It's Guillaume. Damn it. Why would you give me a name like that, Derecio? To make it believable.

You got a question about France. I assumed you went through all the baby names and pronunciations. You've got to do a lot of research before coming up with a French question. I was going to go Guy, but then you would have read that Guy. Yeah. Oh, no, I know Guy. Because there was a tennis player called, I always thought it was Guy Forget, but it was Guy Forget.

But it reads like Guy Forget. I'm like, what a great name. What's your name? Guy Forget. What about, you could have gone with Pierre. Oh, yeah, Pierre, I can do. I can do Pierre. Jean-Luc.

Jean-Claude, Jean-Luc. Jean-Luc. Yeah. All of these, I reckon I would have guessed the escargot because you went guala lomble. I was like, it can't be that. On the fateful night with the battle later represented by a statue, that was Soren.

Then we had hundreds of fish falling from the sky completely inexplicably, which Soren and Al picked. That was Kirstie. Oh! The llama being stolen also was correct. Kirstie gets maximum three points. No! Olé, olé, olé, olé.

Whoa, this changes everything. Oh, no, that's a real air raid. Going to have to cancel the poll. Quick score update. Going into the final round, we've got Seren on one point, Alistair on four points, Kirstie on six points, but just maintaining a slim lead is the house on seven points. So going into the final question, it is pretty much anyone's game.

Occasionally, not Seren's, but occasionally Soren, I think it happened maybe the first time when you're on last. If you want, you can go for triple points in the final round, which would mean you can get nine points and leap to the lead. Okay. If you want. Yeah. You don't have to.

There's really no downside. Yeah, I want. Yeah, I do want that. Yeah. We'll see how it goes. In the past, it's always led to whoever's leading winning by more. Yeah. But unless Curse Your Owl have any problems with that.

Let's go triple points. Go on, triple points. We'll find out. Okay. Hang on. I think it was my choice. Let's go triple points. The final question comes from Julian Wren from Melbourne.

We always finish with a film synopsis, so you've got to write a film synopsis here. What is the synopsis for the 2004 film Debs, which is D.E.B.S? What is the synopsis for the 2004 film Debs? And while your answers are being written, here's some more information about the llama bender from an article in The Guardian.

The escapade happened in the early hours of thursday as the youths passed the circus after leaving a city nightclub we went in and played with the animals one of the revelers mateo said we ended up taking the llama named serge with us the youths also allegedly took a stuffed lion toy and a trombone mateo said the llama seemed happy to follow the group like a dog on a leash, he said, and had no problem taking the night tram. He hopped on without a problem. We followed suit and took a ride with him. There were other passengers. However, the animal fell foul of a ticket inspector who alerted the tram driver. Serge moved along the tram and we couldn't hold

on to him. The inspector made him get off and tied him to a lamppost, Matteo added. The llama nappers fled and were picked up later by police. The director of the Cirque Franco Italian, I would be able to pronounce that better, I reckon. What was it? Cirque Franco Italian. Cirque Franco Italian. That's perfect.

Oh, good. He, a guy named John, initially failed to see the funny side of the incident, saying it could have ended very badly and threatened legal action against the youths. But he later withdrew his police complaint after dozens of Surge fans flocked to the circus to take a picture of him. He's like, this is awful. It's bad. You should be looking after the llamas. Like, this is not funny. And then it was good for business. And he changed his tune saying awful it's bad you should be looking after the llamas like this is not funny

and then it was good for business and he changed his tune saying it's amazing the incident became a huge media event they're talking about him from australia to poland it's so funny he's like this is not on hang on is this good for my business i love these guys still on the llama fantastic it's so good they talked about it in Poland. A Facebook group support the Bordeaux Five, who took Serge the llama for a tramway ride, had 732,000 likes by Monday of the same week. Serge appears to have no hangover from his night out

and is back in the circus ring. All right, everyone's answers are in. Here is the final question. What is the synopsis for the 2004 film Debs? While a group of teenagers are getting ready to attend their debutante ball strange things start happening around their town no strangers to misadventure they set aside their plans for the evening to get to the bottom of what's going on changing their lives forever recruited by the US government

a group of schoolgirl crime fighters find their mission is compromised when their squad leader falls in love with a criminal mastermind intent on destroying Australia. The movie follows a vindictive Southern belle as she murders all the other eligible young women in her county in order to secure her place as the most popular debutante of the social season. Mariana is ready to become a woman at her debutant ball. However, her date Stefano falls ill with tuberculosis. But since nothing in the rules say she can't dance with her horse, she and her community go on a journey of tolerance to allow two fillies to dance together indoors. I hate it.

You use hate in a different way to me. Deborah Sterling, a housewife in rural Texas, finds herself in the middle of a sinister government cover-up when footage of a UFO crash is uploaded online under the username Deb. Can she find the original poster before the Secret Service silences every Deb, Deborah and Debbie in town? Or alarm bells ring when three elves go missing from Santa's factory. Sergeant Waghorn must decipher a code to find them.

But will he get there before the Drunk Elves Bureau Society? Debs. Okay. Do you need to hear them again? No. Maybe it's the first two. First two, yep. So the first one was a group of teenagers getting ready

to attend their debutante balls. Strange things start happening around their town. They're no strangers to misadventure. They set aside their plans to get to the bottom of what's going on, changing their lives forever. And recruited by the US government, a group of schoolgirl crime fighters find their mission compromised when their squad leader falls in love with a criminal mastermind intent on destroying Australia.

Then you have the vindictive Southern Belle. You have the horse dance. The Secret Service going after Debs, Debras and Debbies or the Drunk Elves Bureau Society. Kirstie, do you want to go? You're the one with the best shot here. Do you want to go first or last or what do you want to do? Triple points.

Triple points. I'll go last because I think I went first the last couple of times. Okay. So that's only fair. What do you think, Al? Oh, man. I would have said the second one where the Debs come and save Australia, but then it starts with like the secret service.

So it's like somehow the Americans are helping them save Australia. Yeah. Recruited by US government. US government. Yeah. There's a few red flags in that one for me. I'm going to go with the elf one. Elf one.

I love how you've gone from skepticism about number two and you're like, they're elves with that very clunky acronym. Yeah, no, okay, wait, it can't be the elves. I'll just go number one. All right, number one for Al. The very clunky acronym. Drunk Elves Bureau Society? Yeah, I was like, if it's a family movie,

they're not going to refer to the elves as drunk. Drunk Elves Bureau Society. I haven't even connected to that at all. That's very funny. Seren, what are you thinking? I think it's number one. Number one for Seren. Kirstie, what are you thinking?

Now, are you going to do that thing where you don't lock in the first one because both of them have done it? That's how I feel. Because if all three of you go for the same one and it's correct, you will win. What is it? 85 points. Three points.

You get three points for correct answer or do you want to go somewhere else? Oh, there's so many red flags in all of them. I mean, number one's the one that's written most like a movie synopsis. But also you've got to remember you haven't heard of this movie for a reason, you know. That's true as well. Has that brought the drunk elf back into play? Let's go.

And this is, yeah, okay. You've raised a good point with that. So it's given me a bit more confidence to go with the Deb Deborah's Debbie one. That's good. Yeah, I think. All right. I'm going to look in the Deborah Debbie one. Here's who wrote the answers.

The Drunk Elves Bureau Society was written by Saran, which makes it so brutal that Kirstie talked Al out of it. Al had locked it in. That's triple points. Al had locked it in. Kirstie was like, it's definitely not that. And Al was like, no, you're right. Soren is already counting his three points. He's

only ever scored one before. Al was about to multiply that by four. Al would have had to make a sound effect and everything. It would have been huge. He would have done the ear rape. Brutal work from Jesse there. I'm so sorry.

I feel dreadful. Then we had the horse dance. That was Al's there, which obviously I loved, and I apologise for ruining it for you by laughing my way through it. When I wrote that, by the way, I spent so long trying to come up with the acronym and then everyone was finished. I had to work backwards.

Then we had the vindictive Southern Belle murdering all other eligible young women. That was the house. Kirstie locked in the one looking after Deb Deborah's and Debbie's in town that was also the house the house so the house is the house is up by

four points now the first one which Alan Seren locked in was Kirstie's so that's six points to Kirstie meaning the correct

answer was recruited by the US government as a group of schoolgirl crime fighters find their mission compromised when the squad leader falls in love with

a criminal mastermind intent on destroying Australia so that's six points to Kirstie mission compromise when the squad leader falls in love with a criminal mastermind intent on destroying Australia. Oh, that fucked me up. I didn't do it anymore. So that's six points to Kirsty, three points to the house. Let me tabulate the final scores.

In the meantime, let me quickly tell you that Rotten Tomatoes gives Debs 42% critical consensus. Not as bad as what it was meant to be. Yeah, it should be. Steve Hunter gave it a positive review writing for the Washington Post saying, it's so spoofy, it's difficult to Steve Hunter gave it a positive review writing for The Washington Post saying, it's so spoofy it's difficult to call good or even bad. Just say it's smooth. Just such a weird review.

Mark Lukenbill from Screen Slate also gave it a positive review writing, as with the majority of the most eminently watchable films of that period, sometimes it is best not to ask how good but rather how gay, which is also a strange review. And a less positive review comes from Richard Roper writing, is it a satire of stupid movies or is it just a stupid movie? All right, here's the final score check on one point. Saran, which is still his career best.

It's quite noble, Saran. It's quite noble. Alistair on four points, which is still his career best. It's quite noble, Saran. It's quite noble. Alistair on four points, which was at one point the leading score. It was incredible at one stage. He went cold after round three. Yeah, couldn't do it again. In second place on ten points, it's The House. But out in front, first-time winner on 12 points, it's Kirstie Wiebe.

Congratulations. Can I get an air horn? It's Kirstie Weeby. Congratulations. Can I get an air horn? It's very impressive, but I'm just thinking about how much it would stress me out if I was listening to this podcast. Especially going to sleep. Now, I think you're all doing comedy festivals coming up.

What are you up to in 2023? I've got a brand new show touring the country called A Bit of Fun, Perth, Adelaide, Brisbane, Sydney, Canberra, Melbourne, other cities to be announced. Get around me. Get on my socials. Buy a ticket. Treat yourselves.

Fantastic. So, Ran, are you doing a show next year? Yeah, I've got a show. It's in Melbourne, Sydney, Adelaide, and it's one of the funniestdney adelaide and it's uh one of the funniest shows in the festival wow not true nah it is it is i have one of the most garbage shows in the whole festival this year this is true it's gonna be called alice to trombley virtual in brackets no relations and just me and it's going to be a bloody ripper. It's going to be a lot of bit of fun.

A lot of fun. What's the next title of yours? Oh, I forgot to say the title. It's called The Bag of Vegeta. Yeah, and mine's going to be The Bag of Vaginas. Okay. A lot of fun. The Bag of Vaginas.

Alison Trombley-Burgell. I'm doing a show in Adelaide, Melbourne called Ding. We're also doing a Do Go On quiz show at the Melbourne Comedy Festival on Monday nights, which will be a lot of fun. Anyway, thanks so much for joining us. I hope you all have a fantastic new year. You too. Thanks for having me.

And we see you. Thanks, everyone, for listening. As we're a new show, it would be great if you'd help get the word out there. Please give us a five-star review and tell your friends if you think you know anyone who might enjoy it cheers for tuning in to who knew with matt stewart now that you know it i've been matt stewart goodbye