213 - Claire Hooper and Ben Russell
00:00This is a message for people in Brisbane and Bendigo in the year 2026.In the next couple of weeks, I'm coming to town with my good friends,Serenjo, I'mana.We're in Brisbane on the 1st of October, Thursday the 1st.And then we're at the Bendigo Comedy Festival in Bendigo, Victoria,on the 14th of October.That's a Wednesday.Ooh, hump day.
00:22Let's have a bit of fun day more like it.And there's also a live, Who knew, with Matt Stewart in Brisbane, too,with a good chat comedy club on the 3rd of October.So come season on the 1st and the 3rd of October in Brisbaneand the 14th of October in Bendigo.Cannot wait.Welcome to Who knew with Matt Stewart,the show where the guest write the wrong answers.
00:48I'm the titular Matt Stewart.Our first guest this week was Team Captain on Good Newsweek,winner of the prestigious Peace of Water Award,hosts of Great Australian Bake Off and Claire Hooper's House of Gamesas Australian Comedy Royalty, Claire Hooper.Hi, Matt, thanks for having me back.I'll join in my applause.I don't want to not be.
01:09applauding.Now,that wasn't my voice.Well, I was, I, so I wrote in here today and I, the sweating has really started.And, um, but maybe it's not, maybe it's not right.And maybe it is just, um, nervous to me in front of royalty.Yeah, that's beautiful.Thanks so much, man, for making me feel so welcome.
01:28And I mean, they're only like a small slither of your, of your, uh, credit.That's right.Two decades in the industry.I have so many credits.So many, some of them.I'm not even proud of.Our second guest this week is an award-winning stand-up comedian and improviser from,thank God you're here and Aaron Chen tonight.
01:47It's a strong comedy villain, Ben Russell.Oh, it's me, Ben Russell.So good to have you.Thank you.I'll clap for me.So good to have you both in two of the absolute favorites of the listeners going head to head.All right.So the way the show works is ask a relatively obscure trivia question.
02:06Our contestants have to write a convincing fake answer.I then read their answers.Well, as a real one, I'll have to guess.Which one is correct?And the first question comes from listener, Christy P.From...Christy P.Fredericksburg in VA.
02:19Via Virginia?Yeah.Or Venezuela?Could be.It's hard to know.I'm guessing Virginia.Virginia.Yeah.
02:26And Christy's question is, what is peniaphobia the fear of?Peanophobia.What is penia?No.No.The fear of.Quick spell, please.P-N-I-A-A-A-.
02:39F, oh, sorry, P-H-O-B-I-A.Somehow I turn the pH into an F.That's how advanced my brain is.Yeah.While they're writing their answers,here's how the scoring works.You get one point if your fake answer is guessed by the other contestant,and another point if you correctly guess the answer.
02:58By the way, I'm also playing as the house.And I've put it into my own fake answers for each question with help with a question writer.And we get a point for each one of those that I guess choose.So each of us can go up to two points per round,which seems fair, but the probability actually favours me,The House, and The House always wins off if you've listened to previous episodes.You'll know that is not necessarily the case,in part because we've evened things out,
03:21or even push things into the guest's favourby giving them triple points in the final round,while the House still only get single points.Most of our questions, by the way, come from our great Patreon supporters.If you want to submit a question, sign up on any level of our Patreon.com slash do-go-on-pod,which is linked in the show notes.On by the way, some of you might be watching this now,but these episodes are filmed,
03:45and they go on the DoGo on YouTube channel,and I know there's at least a handful of peoplewho consume this show that way.So shout out to you.The Chevalierful Festival is coming up in like a week and a halffrom when this comes out in late October.Great.And there's a bunch of fun shows,
04:05including who knew it, do go on.I think the sand's pants goes on, Greg Larson.Oh, that sounds good.I would love to see a Greg Larson show alive.Yeah, no.I think it's like a later Friday night slot as well.Oh, you don't say.Perfect.
04:22From just to get full Greg.You'll get the full Greg, I think.Yeah.I'll be asking him put my money back if I didn't.All right.I'm done.Let's go.Let's party.
04:32Okay.I like our Claire.Claire's focused there.Very good stuff.All right.Well, don't read out the full stop.Well, Ben, I'll know which much much more.Yeah, I'll know it's you.
04:43Yeah, if you're really...I'll be submitting all answers with full stops today.Okay.You know, I'm going to read them all as if they've got a full stop.No, please don't.All of all of these, I mean.Oh, all of them.Yeah, both of them.
04:56Great, great, great, great.All right.Because I forgot to put a full stop at the end, but there's a full stop in there.But I just didn't at the very end.Oh, no.Well, now you've given me a...Now I know you all.is his two sentences.
05:07He's put a full stop between every letter.Yeah, exactly.Apart from the last one.Precisely.So a man from uncle's style.Okay.If that helps anyone understand.All right.
05:21The answer is for question number one.What is penia phobia the fear of?Poverty and poor people.Words, but only when they are written down.Phallic shapes.Not getting enough sleep.Name for the penial gland is,in the brain, which is in charge of your sleep cycle, or fear of children.
05:43Ben Russell, what do you reckon?You got poverty, words, phallic, sleep, or not getting enough, children.What's the, what's the, no, what was the second one?Second one, words, full stop.It's just words.But only when they're written down.Why would it be Pena?Pena, what's the...
06:11Yeah, both of us are looking for the Latin route, aren't we?Yeah.Looking for a Latin route?Oh, it sounds like we're on summer vacations.Hello, contiki.And then kids?Oh, my goodness.Fear of kids?
06:25Yes.Could be that.Phallic shapes.Poverty, poor people.I think we all want it to be phallic shapes.Yeah, we do.I mean, but it's not going to be.It's too funny.
06:34It can't possibly be.It's too good.And then we don't do, we don't deserve it.We haven't been good enough for that to be real.Fear of sleep.Fear of sleep.Not getting enough.It's kind of the opposite.
06:46Not getting enough sleep.Mm-hmm.I'm afraid of that.Yeah.Maybe I'm paedophobic.Yeah.I'm afraid of not getting enough sleep.Yeah.
06:55Yeah.I nearly never do and I sleep a lot.I sleep a lot.I sleep a lot.But I'm afraid, I know how bad.It looks bad.I'm on a hot streak at the moment.Are you been having some good sleeps.
07:05Yeah.I've been getting enough sleep.That's good because I struggle to get to sleep on time.Oh my God.Do you think that maybe the quitting vapes has helped?Is that possible?It's definitely made me stop snoring.Oh.
07:17Yeah, cut out my snoring.That's interesting.That is.What an ad for not vaping.Yeah, well, I'm not like putting poison into my lungs.Uh-huh.And you think that's a positive?That's a net game.
07:32Yeah, I think it's connected.I'm connected.All right.Okay.Kids, sleep, poverty.Those are my three.Oh.What's the...
07:43What the other ones?Words and phallus.Oh, words.Okay, no, no.Words, sleep.So you're ruling out only phallic.I'm ruling out the phallic.Yeah.
07:52Because it's too good.Okay, it's too good.I want it to be true, but it's not.Kids?No one's afraid of phallic.Peen, Pede, Pede.Then it would be pedophobic.Petophobia.
08:06Yeah.Maybe they had to, like that, that was too confusing that.Yeah.I had to soften it a little.They could.They might have.Yeah.Because it's like, yeah, everyone's afraid of pedd.
08:15Yeah, I'm a pet.I'm petapobic.Yeah.They're like, nah, no, we gotta change it.You gotta change it.We gotta change that.The branding's all fucked up on that one.You're quite to be in the second position.
08:25Like, I'm just coattailing heaps of the, um, of the workouts.Yeah, please.Second position, like a ballet thing?No.No, I'm just, I'm just saying.You've, you've, uh, been first.I'll get, I process from all the working out.It's second position about, I think.
08:41I'm just going to do it.I'm going to take the plunge.It is.Second position is it.I'm going to go words, but only written down.Words, only written down.Oh, no, because that's pen.I see what they've done there.
08:52That's a trick.That's a trick.Penetophobia.That's a joke.Okay.Don't fall for it.Okay.Don't fall for it.
09:04Don't fall for it.Okay.I just saved you.I just saved you.Yeah.We're all about to lock it in.Unless that's yours, in which case I just, I fucked you.I fucked you up.
09:15Poverty.Poverty.Poverty.Yeah.Man, you've gone around the world.I know.Locked in?Claire?
09:23I was always going to go for poverty.Oh.Wow.Do either of you feel like you're panopobic in that way?Afraid of poverty.Yeah, and poor people.only in the fact that I don't want to go get thereI've done it
09:41yeah I think it's not funI think I think weI think we can be very casual with the wordpoverty but reality of poverty is prettyyeahlike you know like that's not enough money to livethat's awfullike that's not just skint
09:58yesso yeah but Iyeah II don't, is that, is that someone who like,it's like, well, anyway,walks through a slum and he's.Oh, well, let's find out first if it's right.Oh, yeah, it's probably not even right.
10:15No, I'm just, I've done it and I don't want to do it again.Yeah, yeah.All right, the answers.Phallic shapes, that was the house.Good.I mean, great.Nice one.Words, that was the house.
10:26Yeah.And I forgot, that was my logic, I'm sure, Penn.I went from Penn.I'd, I'd, I'd, I'm like, because,You go, where's the Latin there?And I'm like, I don't know why.Is one of them the U-house and one of them the question writer?Yes.
10:40Usually, but not always.These are both me.Because in the form that they fill out their questions and stuff,they can write two.And I'll usually pick one of theirs and do one myself.Sometimes I'll use both of theirs if I'm in rush or whatever.But in this case.The penis would be fallis.
10:59Yes.Be fallophobic.That's right.Fallic objects, you love.Well, then his phallophobia, isn't it?But Christy actually sent me a huge list.She didn't give me any fake answers,but gave me a huge list of phobias
11:09that I'll use some more down there.But this one, I don't know,this one jumped out at me anyway.Fear of not getting enough sleep,that was Ben Russell.Over explained it.Didn't I?Well, yeah, it stood out because you weren't to know, I guess.
11:25But also, you mentioned the pineal gland,but that's a P-I-N, isn't it?Yeah.Did I say fear of children...I was too excited by my own.Did I say fear of children was clear?It's me.Yes.
11:43What's the root?Oh, nothing.Nothing.Well, you were...Well, yes.Well, yeah, I've just...It was just...I know that it would be...
11:52I know that it would be peed.But I was like, what are you going to do?You got to say something.And, uh...I don't know if you noticed how quickly my suggestion came in for that one.Like, get it out of there.And that, of course, means you're both correct.It is poverty and poor people.
12:08Wow.So what is the Latin route?Have you looked into it?Yes, apparently, this is according to a website I found Amaha Health.The term comes from the Greek word Penae meaning poverty and phobos meaning fear.Well, we know that phobos fit.It sits at the intersection of anxiety disorders, deeply held beliefs about self-worth and the weight of social expectation.I'm more of a demos kind of guy.
12:30Oh, so hang on.So this really isn't being.afraid of poor, but it's not walking through a poor area being uncomfortable.It's somebody genuinely being afraid of the loss of wealth.I think that's the main use, but I think it's used in, I think it is used in both ways.But apparently it's like a clinical term that, um, well, there you go.Yeah, some people genuinely suffer from it.Like it's not a logical thing.
12:53They'll look at their bank account.There is enough money, but they can't shake this, this feeling.I mean, but that's, but I mean, it's kind of fair, isn't it?It's just life, isn't it?I think it's a really rational thing to look at your bank accountand if there's not enough in there feel really uncomfortable.Anyway, I do go on.But people who suffer, there's apparently even if there is enough money in there, that's still for it.
13:16Oh, that must be miserable.Not me, if there's money in there, whewy.Pard, you blow it all that.Not, come out there.Get it out.Better out than you, I say.Question two comes from Britta from Lehigh in UtahAnd Britta simply wants you to come up with a species of snail
13:40OkayAnswering for question number twoWhich of these are real species of snailCornish CricklebackHell yeahLittle deuce bloopCriminal snailKing Charles Crown snail
13:55Or geography coneGeography coneOh, sensational work everybody involved.What do you think, Claire?The thing is when it comes to naming a thing,there's not that much difference between going,what could a snail be called?And what could a snail be called?
14:14Because he's a snail that needs a name.You know, like, so it's really like any of these could be a name.They're all just names that came in somebody's brain.Yeah.And they're all, I can see why you would call a snail all of them.Yeah, yeah.Yeah, all of them.them are wonderful names for a snail.
14:31You catch a snail red-handed.It's a criminal snail.Snales are criminals.Yeah.It's, they're so good.They're all so good.Yes.Because you go away and it'll rain and then they'll come back and they'll eat your
14:48plants.Oh, true.Criminal.That's a criminal.And then they, wherever they are, they're home because they've got a, they're livingSo criminals less, a name of a snail, more of a job description.Yeah, well, it could be both.Could be.
15:04Where do they come from?Like Kearney.They travel around in caravans, are they, caris?Snails are the carnies of the bug world.Yes.Didn't it?Like, Austin Powers used to say they smell like cabbage, and snails love eating leafy.You know what I mean?
15:25There's connections there everywhere.Yeah.That's what Austin Powers was trying to tell us.Fuck, yeah.Carnies are snails.Yeah, and they're slippery to the touch.Yeah.And they're all...
15:36And they're all criminals.And they're haemaphrodic.Really?They mate and their penises twirl together.Is it?And then umbrella out.Oh, my God.That's weird because I did date a Carney for three weeks and I don't remember them.
15:52I knew that was...Great guy.Yeah.I knew that was true.Oh, fuck.Didn't see the umbrella.Didn't see the umbrella.Yeah, right.
15:59I knew that was true of Carnies.I didn't know snails did that.Yeah, they, well, that's what, at least I'm operating this out of Slug.Oh, yeah.So I've recently been looking at slug sex because someone said, you've got to check out Slug sex.Okay, so, all right.So if a Kani is a snail, what's a slug?Oh, comedian?
16:21Great.Yeah, just missing the home.All right, Claire.Do you have one?Yeah.I mean, you know the temptation to game the game.It's the like, which one of these will be one where someone to be like, well, that's the name that needs to be who knew it.So I can't help wanting to do that.
16:41I'm going to not do that.I'm just going to say I really like the idea of the shell decorations on a King Charles Crown snail.It's a weird one though because it's like that would have to be a fairly recently named.Like he hasn't been king for a long.So that we're talking to very recently.Very recent.Really old, right?Yeah.
17:01What was the last Charles?Oh, that's true.The cavalier.The guy with the guy who was against the, what was it roundheads?Yeah, the dogs.They're also, they're also like, take vivid pictures.I'm going to go a little deuce bloop, please.Isn't that great?
17:14You absolutely should.And you wanted to change?No.No.All right.Quick game's a good game too late for that.Yeah.Oh, my God.
17:27This is a question too.All right, here's the right.The answer is Cornish Crickleback.That was Claire Hooper.It sounds nice, though.I mean, I can picture it.I'm picturing the pasty.It's nice to think about it.
17:38It's a chunky snail for sure.Yeah, with that.Yeah, that.Crickleback.Cornish pasty crinkle.Yeah.Yeah.It feels aquatic.
17:45Oh, yeah.Aquatic.It actually does feel like it.Well, I can tell you the correct answer is an aquatic snail.Oh, well, we should have known that before we guessed.Yeah.I'd take, well, I've definitely lost that.Criminal snail.
17:59That was Ben Russell.So good.I really like that a lot.So good.Because they're smooth.King Charles Crown snail.That was Britta the questioner, aka the house.No, that's great.
18:10Little dude's bloop.It was also the house.So.I thought that was an unguessable.So it's the geography one.It is the geography cone.I was thinking geography cone, but.Yeah, I know this is the sort of thing people say after they've got things wrong.
18:23But I swear I feel like I've heard of that in a marinecontext.It is a, yeah, it's just such a bizarre.Like, it doesn't sound like if you had a list of things it could be, I don't think Iwould be thinking snail at all.Land snails, pick them up.Sea snails don't pick them up.Yes, and that is correct because they don't think.
18:44I think you should put that on a t-shirt.Ben, this is what British.If it's in a C, leave it be.If it's on the land, take it by hand.You are spot on.This is what Britta writes about it.It's a predatory sea snail that eats fish,and I believe there is no known anti-venom.
19:05Oh, baby.So, yeah, leave and be.Leave and be.In the sea, leave and be.So you each picked a house answer there,so the house jumps to the lead on...Oh, no.You're on one point of piece.
19:18To be fair, the house has done a lot more work in preparation for this game.Yeah, that's true.Question three comes from T.T.J. Omega from TikTok.actually.Wow.Because back on...Is that a place now?
19:29Yeah, it is.Yeah, yeah, yeah.Okay.You know, in the, you know, on the worldwide web.I think it's not long until it has sovereignty.Yeah.Yeah.It'll buy like a town or something like that and then just, it's TikTok now.
19:41It's because Ben was there for this.Like one big hype house.So once again.Like one big hype house.Oh, okay.You know what a hype house is?No.A bunch of YouTubers.
19:53Oh.In one house.To live?Like a show.They all make content and then eventually someone accuses another person of misconductand then it all disband and everyone serves each other.Sounds amazing.That sounds really good.
20:07Yeah.How do I get into one of them?Hive houses.Houses.So, Ben, on the 200th live episode, do you remember this?I asked a question about...Why did Ben get to do the 200?Cayman Rider X?
20:20Yes.Carmen Rider X.I mean, that was the whole point.So I put a clip got made from this.question about this show. It's a Japanese kid show from the 70s, Carmen Rider X, but I wascalling it Kamen Rider X. Yep. So the clip got a lot of comments, nearly all of them were about memispronouncing. Yeah, great. And one of those comments was from T.J. Omega.Brilliant. And this is, so this is my attempt at redemption, which I've already butchered by saying
20:48it on. T.J. Omega. And I've written here like Rahman. Carmen Rider X was a Japanese kids TV show in the70s that featured outlandish villains.What was the villain in the 32nd episode?So on a name, brief description, and as an example, because obviously Ben's got an advantageyou.Do you remember who the what one was last one?I believe it was Starfish Hitler.It was Starfish Hitler.
21:09So just to give you a bit of a vibe idea.So just the name and a brief, you know, sentence or half a sentence description.Okay.While you're writing your answers, here's a little more info about geography.Wicke writes, it lives in reefs in the tropical Indo-Pacific and hunt small fish,while all cone snails hunt and kill prey using venom,the venom of conous geographis is potent enough to kill humans.If it's in the sea, leave it be.
21:41All right, the answer is for question number three.Carmen Rider X was a Japanese kids TV show in the 1970s that featured outlandish villains.What was the villain in the 32nd episode?Here are your options.Robot Kennedy.A cyborg humanoid version of the US politician RFK,who turns killer when the activation phrase,God bless America, is used.
22:05Option two.Influenza Jeffrey Dahmer.He infects people taking control of their minds and then eats their brains.Option three.Grumble tum-tum.A bear wearing a striped jumpsuit like a circus weightlifter.who could eat inanimate objects and lift people over his head.Hell yeah.
22:28Ant Capone.A mutant hybrid of Al Capone and an ant.Ant Capone.Or finally, the ghoul scout.Presents as an innocent Girl Scout,but in truth is a demon who ruthlessly kills using poison cookies.All right.Ben Russell, we're back to you.
22:48Robot Kennedy.Influenza, Jeffrey Dahmer, Grumble Tumtum,Ant Capone or the Goal ScoutListen, all greatI think special mentionhas to go toRobot KennedyI think that's really good
23:06but in terms of onesthat I'm going to have to go forlistenI like Grumble Tom TomokayI really like itI think it's really goodand I can see it
23:22I think it's probably, I'm really torn between that and Gool Scoutbecause that to me, I mean, it feels, it feels Common Rider.You've seen a bit of Common Rider X?Or you've seen clips.Yeah.Yeah.I'm familiar in that that I can pronounce it correctly.Common Rider, okay, Goal Scout or grumble Tom Tom.
23:52because I feel this is my, this is my reasoning.I'm going to show my work.Because I feel like just smashing them together like Starfish Hitler is they wouldn't do that again.Okay.They want us to do that.Yeah.They want us to.Yeah.
24:11But this is different.And that's why I'm going to go with Grumble Tom Tom.All right.Locked in.Claire?I keep saying Cayman because a good friend of mine's name is Damon.and it's spelled the same only with a K.Excuses, excuses.
24:27I don't want to hear it.Man, okay.Yeah, all right.Some of them I can see more than the others.Influenza, Jeffrey Dahmer?It's pretty.It sounds good.It sounds like a band name.
24:39Yes, it does.That sounds more like a band name.And yeah, I also salute Robot Kennedy.Yeah, Robert Kennedy, I think he's a band.That's funny.And I, Goal Scout.I really liked Ant Capone.Ant Capone is good.
24:56I can see him.He's got a pinstripe suit.Ant head.I mean, it's good.Yeah, it writes itself.Yeah.If it doesn't exist, it should.It is,
25:08is it ant sized or is it Al Capone size?I think it's Al Capone size.It's got to be.It's got to be.Yeah.Oh, no.Oh, no.Oh, no.
25:19Oh, no.I feel like Ben wants me to chip.and combined.That's given me the...Oh, right.That's given me the nervesies.I'm trying to push you into it.Yes.
25:29He kind of talked you out of it before as well.He said it's not going to be something.Yes, he did do that.Hmm.Or am I double,am I triple buffing?Yeah, right.Because I know that you're a mind games kind of guy.
25:40Yeah, yeah.I'm in there.And now that he's like,he's,he's vaping and alcohol free,he's using that 10% of his brainthat most of us aren't.Yeah.
25:49Oh, no.If only there was something I couldgive up to become as brilliant asBen Russell.Yeah, you've got to give something up.I don't know what to give up.Got to give someone to get something.What do you like?
26:01What brings you joy?Nothing.I will.I'll take out and compone then.Okay.What are anything about that?All right.Your funeral.
26:13Well, it probably is actually.Hi.Oh, it is right.The answers.Oh, no.Influenza Jeffrey Dahmer.Well, is that not the right one?That's not the right.
26:22That's me.I was like, oh yeah, that does sound more like a band.And you can have that.If that's your band, just give me a shout out.Yeah, great.Yeah, go see Influenza Jeffrey Dahm at the Toe.They would play at the Toad for sure.They would, yeah.
26:39Robot Kennedy, that was the house.The Goal Scout, also the house.Yep.Now.Okay.What's left?Grumble Tom Tom, Tom, and Capone.Now.
26:53Ben went for Grumble Tom Tom.That was Claire Hooper.Well done.And Claire Hooper went for Anne Capone, which is correct.Oh, I got it!Clean sweep!I did it! Well done.That feels really good.
27:05Yeah.Because I felt so sure that you were encouraging me to do Aunt Capone.Yeah.I liked Grubble Tom Tom Tom because I could see him.Yes.But so could I.You feel so real.I feel like I know him.
27:19That little striped weight lifters costume on a big brown bear.Yeah.It leaps off the screen.It leaps it right off the screen and into my mind's eye.I think maybe a great support act for influenza, Jeffrey Dahmer.Grumble Tom Tom.Isn't it lovely to say?It is.
27:36It's very, I like that it's round.It sort of rolls along.First I was just going to write Grumble Tom.I went, Claire, you're going to do better.And I can hear it in Japanese as well.Yeah.Which I'm not going to replicate.Yeah, don't say it.
27:50But it sounds really good.It sounds really good.Yeah.Great.So that means with two points there in the third round, Claire jumps in the lead.Ben's on one, house on two, but Claire Hooper out in front on three points.Wow.The scores are really low.
28:04Well, yeah, but it's because we often will play with an extra player.So there's a few less points to go around.Okay.Thank you for explaining that.All right.Question four comes from, it's a collaboration between two patrons.Rachel Ball from London and Kelly Clark from Nunga country near Perth.Oh, there we go.
28:24Now, Kelly, keep listening to the post credits if you want to hear my two guests rip intoyour city or at least the comedy scene.Just a comedy scene.Just the comedy scene.And also, I think we were pretty fair about it.It was very even-handed.We just said that there's a, we just, anyway, hi, Kelly.Well, I kind of might have edited that out.
28:44I said it.I said it.And you meant it.Claire Hooper has nothing to do with my, my ex to grind.All I said was just not going over there much.That was all I said.That would be a beautiful spot.Beautiful spot.
28:55Anyway, I'll be at Perce Fringe on the 20th to the 26th of January.Oh, yeah, please.And I'll be right here.All right.So Rachel and Kelly's question is,what was the nickname of Wild West Mountain Man, John Jeremiah Garrison?What was his nickname?John Jeremiah Garrison.
29:19John Jeremiah Garrison is a Wild West Mountain Man.mountain man.In America, I suppose.Could have been in from Perth.What was his nickname?While you're writing around,he's a little more info about Ant Capone.According to the fandom page,
29:35Aunt Capone is an Al Capone-themedant monster of God,which is the government of darkness.He used hypnotic ants to control humans,as well as a blowgun disguises a cigar,and a fencing sabre stored in his cane.I don't think they had a huge,understanding what Al Capone's vibe was.
29:54Fencing.Not so much.Fencing and yeah, like a secret.He sounds more dandy-like.Yes, doesn't he.So what was his name again?The Mountain Man?John Jeremiah Garrison.
30:06While he was destroyed at the end of the episode by X's ShinkuDjigoku Gurumu and the X-kick,he was later revived by Black Satan and was one of four Cajunto carry Mr. Tartan's body to a charge.church in preparation for his resurrection.This show sounds insane.It sounds awesome.I can see why it's still got such a huge cult following.
30:32Hey, while you're still writing your answers, let's go for a quick break.We're back and the answers are in.Question number four.What was the nickname of Wild West Mountain Man John Jeremiah Garrison?Squelchy Pete.Oh, great start.Liver Eaton Johnson.Hell yeah.
30:52Woolly boots.Yeah, okay.Peg leg Jericho.All right.Or Pappy Buttslap.Oh, no.Yeah, back to you.What do you reckon?
31:04Oh, no.If only we could identify whether there was one or two legs, that would really help.That would at least eliminate one of those options.Yeah.Oh, wow.Squelchy Pete.Squelchy Pete.Yeah.
31:20He, hopefully he's not wearing woolly boots.Oh, that's disgusting.Disgusting.Yeah, no, good.The, yeah, that's, oh, man, all right.I actually don't have a, I don't have a front runner here because they all sound.Okay, so it's, what, what's the, because some of them sound too audacious and then the ones that don't sound too boring.Like, what's the point?
31:49Yeah.Don't bring us.These are always, they're always the ones that are, like, whenever.you do like baseball ones.Yeah.It's always like, oh, fuckhead.They're insane.Yeah.
32:01Yes, yes, yes, yes.That's ridiculous.And then it's like,yeah, who's called fuckhead,snot ass?Yeah, it was actually his name.Fuckhead's not us.Yeah, and those ones are on the birth certificate.
32:12This one was just like,his friends gave it to him.All right.One more.So we've got squelchy peat,which is a problem because, you know,who doesn't have Peter in his name.Yes.
32:23Liberating Johnson.That's, again, there's no Johnson in there.No Johnson in there.But maybe his Johnson eats liver.Yeah, that's true.Woolly boots.Peg leg jerry.Too boring.
32:34Peg leg jerry, I guess.Happy butt slap.Well, if he were a baseball player, maybe.Not too boring.I think woolly boots to me because.You wouldn't write that in.Don't you like a Wild West man wearing booties?Yeah.
32:50Well, to me, it's the incongruity or whatever.To me, it just sounds like.He's a mountain man, though.Yeah, probably not even wearing woolly boots,probably just really hairy legs.Don't you reckon?Hairy feet?A bit of a hobbit vibe.
33:08Oh, no.Liberating Johnson.No, pegleg, no.Yeah?I'm really leaning towards pegleg Jerrybecause it's just interesting enough.There's something about pegleg and a Jerry.Well, it doesn't feel.
33:24Yeah, but don't you think Jerry feels so modern.Pegleg Jerry is just fun because it's like...Maybe it's because my dog's called Jerry that I'm like drawn to that.Pegleg Jerry feels like you'd find him in a margaritaville, you know?He's having a good time.With a margarita in his hand, maybe a pinocalada, maybe a spin dip.Hey, what number are we up to?Question four.
33:50Damn it.Okay, all right.Okay.Okay.But why would it be liberating Johnson?Why would it be Johnson?Because his name's John.Okay.
34:02John Jeremiah.All right.I fucked you up then.I'm inside your head.Yeah, you are.And it's like they're just, they're too boring or they're too.That's the one that sits in that.This is where you, it's not even fun when you game the game.
34:17When you're like, well, which one's within the realms of possibilities?Yeah, it doesn't matter.not too boring and I'm going to go for the Johnson one.But I hate the way I'm playing.I don't feel passion for this answer.Yeah.I don't even feel like I'm rewarding someone for good work.If anything, it's an indictment on the game itself.
34:39Yeah, I'm no doubt.But Claire, it is working.You're leading.No, no, no.I like the way I played other guys.This particular round, I'm so defeated by the options.Yeah.Yeah.
34:50You're broken.That I've played.Are you happy?I've played in a way that has no heart and soul.So you've gone liver eating?Yeah.Yes.Yeah.
34:59Listen,I'm upset because I was going to go liver eating.You can.Remember when you both went the same one?When I went the same one as you?And we both won.So maybe that's the way.If you think it's out.
35:09And then the next round you went different ways and you picked both house answers.Yeah.Yeah.And I should have gone geographic cone.Yeah.So I'm going to go liver eating Johnson.Locked in.So it makes sense.
35:20Wooly boots, I'm tempted because it is so boring, it could be true.To me, I think what's interesting about it is it's like a cutesy name for a mountain man.Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.Wully boots, old woolly boots.And they weren't like great at naming back then.When all options were on the table.Yeah.It's the amazing.
35:41There you go.Everything was available back then.All the good nicknames.Easy.That hadn't been, that wasn't taken for.My great.Centuries.My, not my, yeah, my grandfather was the last one.
35:52I don't know why Yeezy was the first.My great, my great grandfather was a cowboy, and his name was Makeum.Ooh.What?Makeum.Oh, that's a great name.And then there was another guy whose name was Iraqis.Oh, my God.
36:09And these are great names.Pinkney.What?Pinkney.Yeah.Pinkney?Yeah.Pinkney.
36:16See, that's wonderful.And rowdy.Rowdy's good.Yeah, rowdy we get.We feel that.I get,there's some really good cowboy,like real Texan cowboy names in there.
36:27This isn't a cowboy, though.This is a mountain man.Yeah,but I mean,that's just the,that's just the Appalachian version of a cowboy.Right.All right, John, you're both locked in.
36:38Okay.Here's who are the answers.Pappy butt slap.That was Ben Russell.It's welcome.Peg leg Jerry.Happy butt slap!I mean, it's so good
36:51You canWell, well,Well, it's a papy butt slamHe's the guys alwaysGot theWhat you're doing in here?Papmy hereWhere is he's gold up there
37:01It's gold up in the heelsPapi ButslamI can see itI can feel itPeg LeggerieThat was Rachel and KellyQuestion writersOh they'll hate that you
37:15Detered me from thatYeahLook, whenever I'm deterring, it's normally away from a house answer.Yeah, that's nice for you.And I apologize to Rachel and Kelly if they are offended by that.I'd like a written apology.Squalgy Pete, that was the house.Okay.
37:34Willie Boots, that was Claire Hooper.It was nearly, nearly got it.It is liver eating Johnson.There we go.We did it again.You know what I love, I live for these moments where the two of us, instead of being opponents, we unite against the house.Yeah.Well, that's my long-running strategy.
37:50I just don't want the house to win.That's all the overlords in the world are doing.It's like getting the little people to fight amongst their selvesto distract us from the fact that they are taking all.Yeah, exactly.Yeah.Well, we didn't fall for it this time, Matt Stewart.Well, you know, as the 1%, I'm starting to actually feel a little bit nervous.
38:10Yeah, you should because we like immigrants.Wait, but what about that?guy who's taking your biscuits.But that biscuit's stealing.All right, we're up topenultimate question. Question number five. This comes from a friend of the show,Andy Matthews.Oh, Andrew Matthews.
38:37His question is,on the 7th of January, 1785, Dr. John Jeffries and Jean-Pierre Blanchardbecame the first men to fly across the English Channel in a balloon.what noteworthy incident occurred upon their arrival in France.So these two guys, Dr. John Jeffries, Jean-Pierre Blancard or Blanchard in 1785,first people to fly in a balloon across the English Channel,what noteworthy incident occurred upon their arrival in France.While you're writing, great.
39:11Let's see some more info about Liver Eaton Johnson.Rachel writes, Kelly found this guy on Wikipedia,when looking for more info about a previous who knew it questionand shared it in the Patreon WhatsApp group,so credit goes to her.Apparently some fella from the Crow Nation killed his wife,so he went on a revenge spree,and according to some sources,
39:34ate the livers of 300 victims.Oh.Man has no chill, Rachel writes.300.300.That's a lot.You'd have liver poison.You can't have that much liver, can you?
39:45That can't be good for you?A lot of iron.Oh,maybe too much.That'd be too much iron.There is a wiki list page of Mountain Man,and I did look to see if there were any more great names,but sadly,
39:57Oliverit and Johnson seems like the most remarkable.And remarkable it is.Thank you so much.Okay, the answers are in for question number five.On the 7th of January, 1785,Dr. John Jeffries and Jean-Pierre Blanchardbecame the first men to fly across the English Channeland a balloon.
40:13What note were the incident occurredupon their arrival in France.They landed in the small village of St. Clarine during a cheese festival.The suspicious locals pelted them with unpasteurized soft cheeses,and Jeffries, who was lactose intolerant, was killed.Oh my God.Option two.I liked it until there was a death.
40:34Well, you won't like this one then.Option two, the balloon popped and they fell to their deaths.Oh, no, you do like that one.I can hear the full stop at the end of that, and I like it.Option three, descending too quickly, they threw everything they could overboard.When that wasn't enough, they had to piss and probably shit over the side to lighten the balloon,which ultimately slowed their descent enough to save their lives.Oh my God.
41:00Has anyone, okay, we'll talk about this later.Option four, the balloon landed on a spire of a coastal Calais church.Or finally, they landed in the centre of Paris in a park where the French King Charles was walkingwith his wife Marietta,the shock queen remarked,Charles the Gaul,the king misheard herand designated it the first French airport
41:22on the spot with the names Charles de Gaul.Okay, magnificent.That's not true.Sorry, but that's not what,that's not why they named,sorry, everyone,sorry to be that guy,but that's not true.
41:42I was like,Oh, yeah, I've seen that airport.Yeah.Yeah.I didn't realize.But you'll say that's not true.No, that's not.Charles de Gaul is.
41:54Charles the Gaul.I mean, they are goals, right?Yeah, they are the French of Gauls, aren't they?Maybe some of them?Not all of them.That's right.Okay.I love it when it's Ben's turn first.
42:08It is Ben's turn.All right.Cheese Festival.Pop balloon.I had to shit and piss out the sideLanded on a spire in CalaisOr Charles the GaulAll right, cool
42:22Three that I likeOh yeahI don't like the cheese oneI don't like Charles the gall oneAll rightSorry if you wrote thatThe houseYou don't like them
42:34In what wayI just don't like themYeahI don't have to explain myself to youYeah yeahOkay I can just not like somethingYeah that's trueYeah
42:42Oh, can I just say I really like them.Balloons are death traps, especially back then.They are.They're absolute death traps.Last time, I've been in one, the Melbourne one.And they...The Melbourne one?The Melbourne one.
42:57They've got one.They've got them.And it was amazing.And then we landed on St. Kilda Beach.And they were like, that was the last stop.We glad we made it because that was, we...Otherwise, we're out to sea.Otherwise, we're out to sea.
43:11Wow.Cool.Thank you for letting us know afterwards.Yeah.Yeah, best really.Yeah.Yeah.And then, uh, okay, so spire, I quite like.
43:22And I also like because it's in Calais, which is geographically correct.Right.Because that is the, that's where the ferry goes.Yeah.It would be.I don't know.How long, well, you're the only one of us who's been in a balloon.How far can they go?
43:37Oh, I mean.It's not an assumption.They can go.They can go for us.I mean, they can go.From England to Paris, not that we're considering chalda-gall.I don't know, because they do rely quite heavily on weather.Right.
43:52And the weather in both England and Paris is, you know, famous for being shithouse.Okay.All right.So.So I'm, yeah, so I'm going to go three.So there's three.Died.Yes.
44:11Plausible.Probably.Calais Spire, yes, piss and shit.I like that too.Yeah.They needed to get lighter.Has anyone here done a piss and shitand weighed themselves before and after?
44:26Oh.Anyone?Have you?I feel like you would do that.I haven't.Have you not?I'm ashamed to say it.Claire, I'm on the record of saying,
44:33uh, gentleman never shits.And I am thinking myself as a gentleman.So I wouldn't even know.I don't even really understand what that means.Okay.I'm going to go, oh, fuck, this is a hard one.I do regret pissing once, though, because it broke the seal and I've been doing it.Doing it ever since.
44:50But no, you've done that?I just, what?No, but my husband has.And I don't think it would make the friends you need it.That's all I'm saying.Previous guest, not a gentleman.He's not a gentleman.He does do pubs.
45:04And he has Wade himself before and after a pissing.Wade himself.Yeah, to see how much.But Wade has Wade himself.This is back in the olden days when people were very stupid.Claire.Oh, you think, yeah, okay.So they were hurling everything overboard and they were like.
45:23Oh, we got a shit.Let's do some.Yeah.Did you have an old bit where you talked about pissing like you were Elvis,the putting out a fire?Please don't call it an old bit.It's still a good.It's still a goody.
45:36Oh, not an old bit.Okay.A bit.A preexisting bit.It's absolutely a preexisting bit.I do talk about how I do talk about how I piss like I'm a helicopter putting out a bushfire.Just open the gates.It's so funny.
45:52I'm very fast.I'm an efficient pisser.I just get it done.Great bit.Thanks, mate.I'm going to go to the spire in Calais, I guess, because if the alternative is it's either right or it's Claire's and which case I'm happy with both.Okay, fantastic.And Claire, do you recall the options?
46:16Yeah, so I feel like, I feel like piss and shit over the side might be Ben's,and I'm so tempted to choose it just as a show of respect.But I think I'm going to go to the boring one again.Sometimes boring's right, you know, like, as in, they plummeted to their death.Plummeted to their death.That's so funny.If that's the true one and they're just their memory and they're like, the boring one.I know, I know.
46:46Imagine calling to brave men's death boring.But yeah, no, you know it is.I mean, compared to the others.Throwing stuff over the side and pissing and shitting over the side.It's very tempting, isn't it?Yeah.To make that the one.And I'm pretty sure the guy that the first balloon, hot air balloon ever died.
47:04Right.That makes sense.Yeah.Like people used to die on those motherfuckers.Yeah.It's not noteworthy is what you're saying.Yeah.Like, no, I'm just saying that people died in hot April and more often than back then,
47:15especially, they went up and they died.And that the idea that they made it broke a record but weren't alive to take the...Is it a record if you died?Yeah, it's got to be.If it's a land death.All right.Yeah, it's a land death.They still...
47:30Technically, they still made it.Lock it in.All right.Here's the right.The answers.Okay.Now, Ben was on the record of not liking...the one Charles the Gaul.
47:41That was Andy Matthews.Okay, yep.Oh my God.And then also,Andrew Matty.He'd take me for an absolute goose.I thought better of Andrew.And he,
47:53Ben also did not like the cheese festival.And that was Andy Matthews.Oh, no.He doesn't even respect us.He's making a mockery of this game.He doesn't respect us.One of Australia's premier comedy ride.Yeah, he could do better.
48:08Yeah.All right. So one of us might, oh, no, they could just, we could have, all right.Ben went for Coastal Calais Church. That was Claire Hooper.I'm so sorry. No, that's fine.No, that's right. You said you were happy about it.It was either right or it was Claire Hooper.Claire went, fell to their deaths. That was Ben Russell.Yeah, we'll see. There you go.
48:29Which means the correct answer is.They did the pisses and shit. They pissed and shit.I thought so.That's an outrage. The idiots. It's like 400 grams at the most.even if it looks like a big one.Every bit counts when you're in a balloon.Yeah, I guess so.And these were, you know, these are adventurers.
48:46It's so funny.It is also funny, you'd think about what would Andy send in as well.It's very funny to think Andy sends in.The balloon popped and they fell to their death.No, you're absolutely right.I should have picked this and shit.And just, can you picture it like two olden days gentswho've just done a big journey together?
49:05Yeah.Facing death, sitting on, because you know they'd go on,opposite sides of the basket.You wouldn't want to do your pisses and shits separately, right?Like, you'd actually want,because you don't want to sit on the edge of the basket to do a poop off the side.And you don't want to, like, you don't want to have weight on one side of the basket.So they're going to have to do their shits at the same time from opposite sides of the basket,
49:27staring each other down.Yeah.Right?Like a death-difying, like, like tiny pupils, wide eyes, terrified.and they'd be yelling, they'd be yelling, can you go?It's really hard to go.You know, because they're like, panicking.I can't, I can't go unless.
49:46Avert your eyes.Overt your eyes from me.What a wonderful vision.It's the kind of story.Like, how do we, it feels like it should be better known.And if they make, like, they make it to the ground safely,do they have a quick chat about whether or not that's part of the official story?Yeah, I guess it is.
50:05There's a way we could have not known that.That could have been how they got.down and they could have not told us.Yeah.100%.They didn't need to say that.They were men of science, you know.That's a record it all, I guess.
50:16All right, that brings...Captain's log.Yes.Yes.All right.That brings us to the final question.It comes from Tyler Edwards from Canton in Georgia in the United States.The question is, what is the synopsis of the film, Dirty Dingus McGee?
50:35No.She just said a...Oh, no.Brief, briefish, no, three, four sentences-ish.Brief synopsis of the film, Dirty Dingus McGee.And while you're writing, I'll tell the listeners a bit more about this balloon fiasco.Andy writes, here's some text from the book, The Age of Wonder by Jonathan Holmes.It's worth reading the footnote of the bottom.
51:03Okay, I'll do that.So I guess this is from Jonathan Holmes.Once clear of the coastal updraft, the balloon began an even faster final descenttowards the heavily wooded region of Guinea's forest.A violent and possibly fatal crash landing in the trees seemed imminent and inevitable.Jefferies, however, maintained a detached scientific assessment of the situation.He pointed out to Blanchard that there was still one last way of throwing out personal ballast.It was contained within ourselves, seizing the leather blanchard,
51:37as hung in the balloons rigging as flotation devices,they carefully urinated into them and threw the contents over the side.In his narrative, Jeffries apologized for introducing this trivial and ludicrous detail,but pointed out that it was precisely the sort of information that a scientific writer should record.Oh, there you go, it was.He only put it down for the science.At all events, this evacuation sufficiently checked the rate of their descent,so that the gondola bounced roughly across the tops of the trees instead of plunging violently through the canopy.
52:11Jeffreys, who is still wearing his chamois leather flying gloves,was able to seize on passing branches until the balloon's progress was gradually halted.It took 28 minutes to release enough hydrogen for the balloon to become manageable.Together, Jeffries and Blanchard then carefully hand-maneuvered the gondola down through a gap between the trees,until at last it safely reached terra firma.With the balloon canopy hanging on in the branches overhead and gently deflating,they had achieved a first historic crossing.Jeffrey says they staggered around the wreckage of the gondola for several minutes,
52:49too stunned and shaking with cold even to congratulate each other.But soon they were surrounded by a crowd of well-wishes,many of whom had followed their course on horseback like a new form of fox huntingand carried them off in triumph to Calais.Now here's the footnote that Andy mentioned.It writes,Jeffrey subsequently claimed that in this manner,they lightened the balloon by no less than five or six pounds.
53:17As a pint of water weighs a pound and a quarter,he seems to imply that each of them voided well over two pints of urine,which is more than twice the normal male bladder content.Moreover, cold shrinks the male bladder,and Blanchard at least was a notably small,and lightly built man.The probable solutionto the surprising amount
53:37of weight releasedis that they defecated it as well.No doubt Jeffries feltthat this last detailwas too much even for scientific candor.All right, the answers are infor the final question.Worth triple points to you two.
53:51Oh, no.What is the synopsis of the filmDirty Dingus McGee?There's only one house answerin the final round as well,so you've got four optionsto choose from.Okay.
54:00Good odds.Here are youroptions. On a school trip to the zoo, Carlton McGee excitedly gestures towards 30dingoes in an animals in the outback exhibit. Unfortunately, he had just eaten 10 peanutbutter crackers and so all that came out of his mouth was a muffled dirty dingoes.With classmates laughing at him and ridiculing him, little McGee tries to runaway cryingonly to trip into the outback exhibit and be torn apart by the very dingoes he was soexcited to see. Oh, well, spoiler alert.
54:3130 years later, those same classmates find themselves back at a now abandoned zoosummoned by a mysterious invitation.Is this just an innocuous field trip reunion?Okay.Or as dirty Dingus McGee returned to exact his revenge?It's option one, option two.Dingus McGee makes a bet with his best friend Rango to never wash.Dingus finds a mysterious mold that makes his body emit powerful pheromones
54:58that make him irresistible to babes.The dirtier Dingus gets, the more babes flock.Oh dear.Will Dingus get more than he bargained for?Option two, option three.This 1970s Western comedy follows the misadventures of Dirty Dingus McGee,a former acquaintance turned rival and his baby-talking Native American girlfriend.Oh, no.
55:20As he finds himself flipping between outlaw and lawmenand stirring up trouble along the way.Well, finally, determined to win back his ex-wife,Dingus McGee leaves his home in the New Orleans Gator Swampand travels to Las Vegas to win enough moneyto buy the mansion she always wanted to live in.All right, Claire, so you got the dingos.Okay.
55:44You've got the stinky lethario.You've got the 70s Western.Stinky Lithario.And you've got the...That's my bloody next show name, right?Come on.Or you got the,from the swamp to Las Vegas.
56:05All right.I feel like,I feel like I'm more drawn to the last three,Matthew Stewart.Mm-hmm.But it is amazing what films can get funded,isn't it?You just never know.
56:20Especially in the age of VHS.Yes.That was really the golden age.The golden age of terrible ideas,making it to screen.Yeah.Okay, well, there's something so legitimising about us set in the Wild West.You know what I, like it reads very well.
56:43It doesn't mean it's right, but I'm going to go with it.I'm absolutely busting for the loo.I should have gone.I'm going for option.I think that was three.No, yeah, three of four.Listen, I am also going for that.And this is my reasoning.
56:58This is my reasoning.I don't think you or the house or Claire have the guts to say baby Native American,baby talking Native American.Yes.I don't think that that's something that you guys would willingly say.I think that can only be.Only Greg Lawson would be willing to say something so on the nose.I'm going to go with that one as well, purely because I don't think you guys have the guts to do that.
57:27Okay.I can't wait to see how impressed you are.Yeah.All right, here's who wrote the answers.I didn't write that one.The one about the dingos.That was Tyler, the question writer.The one about the gator swamp heading off to Las Vegas.
57:40It was Claire Hooper.Yeah, that was good.Yeah.The one about the stinky Lethario was Ben.Well, it's a really good one.You nearly got me.And that means you are correct.And as I said it, I thought I thought the exact same as you are.
57:57Like, there's no way.I should have probably just said baby-talking girlfriend.Yeah.But it's written baby-talking Native American girlfriend.Yeah.And that is a real movie starring Frank Sinatra.What the hell?Which apparently is really bad.
58:13Okay.Wow.Although it's got a 52% audience approval rating.Hey, it's Western Town.Come on there, Tuts.Who's the, Ebert gave it one out of four.Tyler writes,I've never seen this movie
58:29But I had to submit itFor the title aloneI don't think this is a well-known filmBut even if it is,It's just worth it to hearWhat your guest do with DingusAnd a review by ABC Flicks on Letterbox readsDirty Dingus McGee
58:41Stans stands as a low pointFor its legendary star Frank Sin ArcherWho Sleepwalks through this aggressivelyUnfoneyRevisionist Western ComedyIt is a piece of shitOne and a Half starsThat's a great review
58:55That is a great reviewAll right.Before I give a final score check, where can people find you?Oh, you can find me on Instagram at I'm Ben Russell.Is that my name?Yes, it is.How many S's and how many L's?There's two S's and two L's.
59:08Never forget that.Hey, if you're in L.A.I'm doing a show at the Elysian Theatre on the 15th of November.No, not the 15th.Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, don't leave.Please don't leave.Please don't leave.Well, he's looking that up, Claire.
59:27You're starting a tour in Perth next year?Oh, yeah.So next year I'm going to, I was writing the new show.My enemies probably won't end up called that.And it will be at Perth Fringe and Adelaide Fringe.And I'll be doing Canberra and Sydney and Brisbane as well.I don't know.No, no dates for Melbourne so far.
59:47And the one you just taped, do you know where that'll be?Well, I wish I knew.You probably know better than me.But yeah, so my 2020.26 show, fun show, XX.That, there will be a special out soon.But I don't have a date or a location for it yet, but please keep an eye out for it.Maybe I should have kept it simple.
01:00:07The Claire Hooper on Instagram.That's a good place to follow.Yes.And we'll get you back on when that's coming out anyway.So we can let everyone know.Thank you so much.The 28th of November.20th of November.
01:00:18The Elysium, if you're in.Remember, remember.If you're in the Los Angeles County area, I would please come.Please.And bring friends.Oh,that would be so good.Yeah.
01:00:29Oh, my God.I want to meet.I want you to eat them.I'll send some folks.Yeah, I'd love that.Yeah.It's a great show.I promise you'll have a good time.
01:00:36I bet it is.I'll give you a little hug.Maybe a kiss on the cheek if you want it.Is it the one?It was the show from this year?Yeah.Oh, that's so fun.Great show.
01:00:46Yeah.All right.Final scores.The House.Did not do well this week.Finishing in third place on two points.In second place on six points.six points is Ben Russell, but out in front of eight points, the winner is Claire Hoopold.
01:00:59Oh, my goodness, I did.Guys, I feel great about this.You know, I feel good about that win and you should.Thank you so much and I feel like you really helped me.Yeah.You showed your working out, you guided me towards correct answers.I love showing my work.You even occasionally gave me some points by honoring and respecting my offerings.
01:01:20And every time you both went for the same, you were right.I think that was maybe half the rounds.Yeah.It was a great strategy.Yeah.Thanks so much for joining us.And thanks so much for everyone who's tuned in.Give us a five-star review.
01:01:31Tell your friends.Why not?You know, if they might enjoy it anyway.Each referral gets a free roast chicken.That's right.And Ben will be given those roast chickens.Yeah, come and see me at the Elysian.I'll give you a free roast chicken.
01:01:45That's on the door.No questions asked.Cheers for Chitina.Who knew with Matt's chort?Now that you know it, I've been Matt's showed.Goodbye.Bye.Let's have a chat.
01:02:07He does not understand the character whatsoever.I think he's playing him for laughs.Oh.Yeah, but also he tries to give him like this fucking ridiculous backstory and then a loveinterest and it's like...What about the double mustache?Do you even know this character?Have you even read a Poirot book?
01:02:25Like it sucks.Yeah, I much prefer David Soucher.I think that if you are going to be allabout a neat little mustache and that neat little mustache is going to represent like how you livein the world.Like I think it has to be tiny and neat rather than like, yeah, Branagh's double mustache.It's like the abundance of moustache takes away from the neatness.Yeah, it's very impressive, but it's a different thing.
01:02:51And that silly little mask, like mustache protecting masky water bed.Do you remember that?Anyway, yes.So I'm really glad you brought it up there.Because he's pretty good, he's a good actor.Oh, he's really good.I think he's not a great director, and he directs all of those films himself.I really, I've watched one of the Brana Poirot's.
01:03:16Maybe I've watched both.And so I kind of, look, I enjoyed it because if you can't get any more sushi Poirot, what are you going to do?I'm with you.I like, I enjoyed it, but yeah, it's not as good, but it's, and it looks awesome.I would sooner go a Magre.A what?A Magre, it's French paro.It's like the French analogue.
01:03:34Magre?Oh, cool.It's really good.Someone was telling me about another one that was like Agatha Christie era,but a different writer.And I'd never heard of it before.But yeah, check out Magre.There is a great Magre movie.
01:03:47It does have Gerard Depardotot in it.Whether or not that makes any difference to you.I don't know.He's quite a good.I don't know.He's loaded that.He's, what's your opinion on Gerard Departier.I think he's a monster.
01:03:57But as a person, but as a Magre,He was actually quite good.Yeah.I'm trying to guess how you spell Magre.M-A-G.And now I've run out.I don't.But you said, R-E-T?
01:04:13Yeah, it's something like that.Okay.I don't know.I'm really, I'm onto it.What kind of monster is?There's also, and then there's a great, I think, another great actor that was a Mag-Rae.This sounds terrific, but I'm so.Jules Maghre, M-A-I-G-R-E-T.
01:04:32You're 100% correct.Georges Simonon.Lies almost entirely on human psychology, intuition, and understanding the suspect's mindset.Oh, it sounds excellent.Yeah.Do yourself a favour.Okay.Oh, I've got so much.
01:04:50John Malkovich does a Magri, I believe.What?Yeah.Well, that's great.Oh, he does a Poir-R-O as well.What?That must be what I'm thinking of.The ABC murders?
01:04:58What?Yeah, it's like a kind of a grisly gritty.Oh, I...He's quite good.It's like a BBC.Mate, I think of myself as it.Lately I've become very, like I haven't acted on it,but I've been getting this hankering for a midsummer murders.
01:05:14Oh, no.Yeah, I know that's so twee.But, you know, like sometimes like a death in the cushion shop is just what you need.Yeah, yeah.Yeah, and then there's the ones...Go watch dockers.Martin.I can't.
01:05:30I can't do that.I can't watch anything that thinks it's kind of quaintly funny.Like I like,summer murder Zeus takes itself seriously.Yeah,what about,what's that one where they're in like,it's death in paradise or something?
01:05:43Oh,I don't like that one.Yeah.Thank you.They're all sort of taken little,it's like Poirot when he's on holidays.It's great.And they try to turn.
01:05:49Oh, so you do like death in paradise?No,I don't, but I like,because you can't be in our friendship gang if you do.Well,I wanted to like it.Because I like sunshine.You know, like, come for TV when there's sunshine involved.
01:06:02It's even better for me.No, I just don't want it to be too.You like sea change.Like, that's his Poirot.He did the full goady.Okay.Which is, you know, if you're going to depart, I guess.I feel like he'd be good at the precision required for a Poirot.
01:06:19Like, he can do restraint.From memory, actually, he was like the old retired Poirot brought back.for one last sort of task.Yeah, it was definitely gritted up.Yeah.Purist probably wouldn't like it, but I still quite enjoyed it.Yes.Anyway, should we do this show?
01:06:36Why are you looking at me like that?It's a newfound respect.No, no, no.I love Poirot.I love Poirot.Do you want to see the photo of the Poirot costume?The David Soucher one that I saw at an amazing costume exhibition.Look, it's the real thing.
01:06:53Oh, wow, yeah.I know that one.There's his little.El Coul Poro.El Cule.Yeah, it was a real...Very cool.I was just, I was there to kill a morning in Edinburgh.
01:07:04But when I saw that, I really felt something.That's cool.Yeah.I love that.There was a 2025 Margaret in England.Is that what you're talking about?Maybe.A six-parter.
01:07:17Benjamin Wainwright as Chief Inspector Jules Margrette.So it was a French one.A movie.A filmA film cinematicWithHow do you sayThe French
01:07:37Came up with the cinemaRo deRoe dedePlaceOhWell I feel like we warmed upI didn't join in on that
01:07:51You could haveYeahIt was within your rightsOh lookroad here and it feels like all the sweat is just starting now.Wow, delayed sweat.Delayed sweat.Yeah.
01:08:01Is that because...That's okay.That's cute.Humes makes you nervous.Yeah.Never know what she's going to do next.Did you get my message just a little test?I said, hi, Matt.
01:08:14I did, yes.Did you get mine?It said, hello.Hello, full stop.Very old.I bought a full stop on it.I like it.When I can see, it's got a real, um, uh, uh,
01:08:25generation or two above,sort of,they'll say something really kind,full stop.Or,you know,you'll send them a message saying,all right,
01:08:35so I'm talking about mom.Love you so much.Mom,happy birthday.Thanks.That sort of thing.Oh,I understand.
01:08:41Yeah,I understand.It took a long way to get there.How it's come to mean something different,but what you need to know is like this is,this was an era where,you know,like your schooling wasn't necessarily as,
01:08:52um,kind and friendly.You know,Like there were repercussions when you didn't pull a full stop at the end of the sentence.You always have us die hard, right?Yeah, right.And too much emotion.Your mum's meant to learn to drop a full stop that she's been doing for her entire life,
01:09:07just for your sensitive little sad ass.I'll send a message with all exclamation marks.Yeah, love you, the best.Yeah.Thank you.Full stop.Which is not probably not.Actually, you know, maybe it is.
01:09:20Anyway.I enjoy grammar.I love grammar.It's so fun to put commas.and colons and stuff into a text.I love a semi-colon.Oh, semi-colon.And I reckon you know how to use one.
01:09:33Yeah.I like a colon way more than a semi-colon.And you can use them.What?Quite easily.You know?It's a button right there.People love the dash.
01:09:42You could be using a semicolon there.You could set yourself apart from the machines and use a semicolon.What do you think about the dot-dot?What do you think about the dot-dot?Ellipsis.I overuse them.I'm not proud.I especially overuse them in like writing and scriptwriting and things like that.
01:10:00If you want like someone to interject on a line and then then come back in.Yeah.Overlap.I use them a lot.And I get tired of them.Yeah.I'm not, yeah, when I use them, I'm like, who is this for?The world deserves better.
01:10:18Yeah.That's for the actors.Lazy, but I still do it all the time.All the time.How much of this will you keep in?I don't know.Connor how much.This is pretty family-friendly stuff.
01:10:28Yeah, or could we do it?I get Connor to tell me whether or not it's, I should put the explicit on.I don't know what he does to decide that.But we're on a long run of explicits.Yeah.All right.I mean, we can try.We'll try our best.
01:10:46I can't guarantee it.I'm very poor self-control.Yeah.And once it's gone, you know, the floodgates open up.Yeah.Did you say fuck gates?Oh, no, that's happened.The fuck gates open up.
01:10:58All right.That's when you get to a good spot when you're just like, I mean,what would be the peak of my career is just an embarrassing footnote for you.That's really, yeah.I don't think that's true.I think you've got an incredible career.Okay.Well, that's all right.
01:11:18Talk about it later.I think he's amazing.No, I think he's amazing.Because do you know what he's, he.I feel like what matters.Scott is he's built something that has his own unique voice and the people that are the people thatknow Matt Stewart like love him deeply and it is it is you know like the kind of career I've got is likepeople at the shop going oh what are you from again you know so I've got this kind of like
01:11:42broad familiarity but no actual passion whereas anyone that goes Matt Stewart it means theyoh no people are passionate about you we went to your taping here at Hummingher a few weeks ago.I know.And the passion in the room.It was electric.Mate, you weren't watching from where I was on stage.It's so good when you are recording your show and a nice gentleman in the second row,
01:12:06older than me, big yawns, like absolutely in the stage.He's putting full stops in messages.He's so visible that adorable man who was too tired for a show and was brought along by someoneelse.And he was just in my direct eyeline second row.know those like big, chewy york?Like, you couldn't hear it, but it was...You can really see the uvula.
01:12:30Oh my God.Anyway, I know he didn't mean anything by it, but it did.You know what?Because I'm a professional.Yeah, I can tell.I knew not to mention it on my special.It is the kind of thing that I would be fighting not to bring up.It was really hard.
01:12:47And it was funny because in the intro to the show, you said before the show started,said,um,if you need,please don't get up and go to the bathroom or so.Is that,was it yours?I don't know why I said that.
01:13:01But then you go,you go,I mean,unless it's an emergency,I don't want anyone out thereshitting themselves.Well,I heard somebody,
01:13:11somebody actually shat themselvesin somebody's special record.And I can't remember who it is now,but I got told the story before it so accidentally.I believe Guy Montgomery had.That's the one.Wow.Yeah.
01:13:22Because,because the spiel at the start was.We're filming.Do not get up, even if you need the loot.And somebody was so, like, so beautiful that they just dumped in their pants in the middle of a special, which is not.That's not going to improve the vibe of the record.They let it go.Ben Russell won awards.
01:13:42Why didn't you mention that?He did.He did.I said award winning.He said award winning.He didn't mention the award like he did you, but that's okay.It was a good.The Susan Proven section?
01:13:54Oh, yeah.Well, don't worry about it, man.Don't worry about it.For Tokyo Hotel?Yeah.It was a great show.It wasn't Tokyo Hotel.That was a Golden Ghibo.
01:14:01That was a golden gimmow.And I won director's choice for Ben Russell.That's pretty special.Self-titled.I was nominated for an actor for Hug the Sun.Right.I mean, you just.And I won a Perth Award, a W-A-1.
01:14:17Did you have one of the fringe weeklies or something?No.It was like a screen award that they gave away.You must have.I got on my living.room. It's a piece of wood. It's not the piece of wood, but it is a piece of wood.Have you, um, you had any improv awards? None.Really? Yeah. Do they hand them out? I don't think they do.
01:14:35No. You think improv conspiracy here would do them. They don't do an award too, but I'm,I'm too wild. I got the best and fairest back in the day, but you don't get anything for it.No. They just say your name at the end of the, yeah, at the end of the event.Because you all, I think they do, like, at the, at the, but, but don't you reckon, I reckon, I reckonthe improv world, despite the fact that it is all like sunshine and yes and, the world is actuallya little bit political. I don't, I reckon it'd be way too controversial. Yeah. I think it is. I don'treally concern myself with it anymore. Too old for that shit. I just kind of swine in and tell peoplewhat to do and then fuck off. Man, I love that. Uh, but that's, uh, but yeah, it is. I remember it. I,
01:15:24in Chicago, it was like going back to high school.That level of like clickies clicks and, you know, cool people and nerds and all that.It was just insane.Cool people with improv.That's a good one.So competitive.Yeah, I know.It's an oxymoron completely.
01:15:41Cool improvisers.Who the fuck do they think they are?You only got cool when you started on stand-up.Wait, did you both start in Perth improv?Yes.That's sick.It's a big scene over there.Or it used to be.
01:15:54Is it not anymore?I don't know.I don't think so.I don't think it's as big as what it used to be.Because that's where the big who hails from?Yes, that's right.The comedy scene itself has definitely changed a lot since we were there.It feels like it doesn't it.
01:16:09Yeah.It's in a dark place now.Oh, is it?Yeah.At least the comedy scene is anyway.Well, I'll let you say that on the record.Yeah, I'll say I'll do it.I'll take it.
01:16:19I'll take it.Look, maybe it's telling.that I don't gig there anymore.So I was going to say,I wouldn't know if it's in a bad place.I don't gig there.And I'm like, yeah, you don't gig there.You know,
01:16:31like I've actively avoided.Well, let me describe it.Because the vibes aren't.Let me describe it to you so that you have plausible deniability.Yeah.It's like the Austin comedy scenewithout the broad,mainstream appeal of any popular podcast.
01:16:49Oh.What are you saying?of like a manish sphere.Yeah, yeah, yeah.It's like that.Manish.Yeah.It's like a bunch of Tony Hinchcliffs.
01:17:01Oh.Without a Kiltoni podcast to speak of.Right.Yeah, it's very strange.Oh.Wow, that was really well described,but in like in such an impenetrable industry only way.Yeah, sorry, everyone.
01:17:17You can edit that out if that's two inside baseball.They all wear big bell buckles.Huh?They all wear Bill.Yeah, there's something wrong with them.There is something belt buckley in Perth at the moment.Yeah.But, you know, but bloody good on.
01:17:27There's some great acts there, but it does feel like the culture's just...I really?There are some good, there, don't get me wrong.Oasis is a great club.Oasis is a great club.Matt's kind of's nearly the only place to go to there.Yeah.But I always have a great time.
01:17:42Yeah.Yeah.But you know what?You code switch into belt buckle real easy, Matt Stewart, and you know it.Yeah.Yeah, you code...Absolutely.I'm a, I'm Mosey.
01:17:54Yeah, look at you.You can, you can walk unnoticed amongst those people.Can you code switch into bro comedian for me right now?Yeah, hey man, how are you on?Yeah, good, yeah.Yeah, good, dude.Yeah, man, good to see you, bro.Yeah.
01:18:11Did you check out, Rogan?Oh, yeah, man.Yeah, hell yeah, man.Yeah, it's really, actually pretty deep this way.Yeah, bro.Sick.Bro.Yeah.
01:18:22Only eating meat.Yeah.And then I stare into the sun.Yeah.Yeah.Meat.Meat and sunshine.Yeah, I'm only eating frozen meat.
01:18:31Yeah, sick.Yeah.Yeah.Yeah.Yeah, it's good.Good for the enzymes.Yeah, sick.Yeah.
01:18:41Okay.How good's punching down.Oh.Just remembering that Connor is a Perth man living in Perth.Yeah.That's what I said.There's some good people still there.Connor's one of them.
01:18:59Ratbag with Mel and Sam are on as well.Irrational Fear.Dan Illich.Josh Earl's bringing back,don't you know who I am?Fantastic stuff.Sammy P.What's he going to do?
01:19:13Which one of his many?Confessions.Okay.Okay, yep, yep, yep.So there's a lot on.That's an absolutely stacked schedule.That's fun.It's too much.
01:19:21It is actually a bit too much.I'm going to call the cop.It's on the weekend of the 23rd of October.Sorry, but I'm going to call the cops on this.Sorry, guys.Sorry, I'm just on Hiled right now.Call it now.While you're doing that.
01:19:38I'm going to read a little bit.This is from beat your fears.com.Oh, it's something that I...This is a vape, habit, substitute.Oh, is it?Yeah.Oh, yeah, I think.I think I've seen someone.
01:19:56All right.Right.So you're just sucking on air?Yeah, it's got a little, uh, fragrant, uh, sponge.So you're sort of weaning, you're waning off.All right.Because was that in the book?It's more the habit.
01:20:09Yeah.Yeah.Yeah.No, this is good because you look pretty uncool when you've raped.Yeah.And now I look really cool when I pretend to vape.But the dogman.But the cavaliers only called King Charles Cavalier.
01:20:24because it was the cavaliers and the other ones,the ones who were more,so the cavaliers were dandies and the other,like the other side of politics was,I keep wanting to say roundheads and I don't think that's right.The dandies were a side of politics?They weren't called the dandies.I'm just sort of describing it.
01:20:43So they wore those long, floppy wigs that look like those cavaliers.They were the ones with their, like, you know,their stocking calves on display,and they had bows at the sides of their breaches.and they were, you know, like, they were their...They're a bit slutty.Yeah.And then there were the ones, you know,
01:21:00there were the ones on the other side of politicswho were like less,they, less interested in royalty,less interested in big spend.You know, they were more like,let's tidy things up and stop putting bows on our outfits.That is my understanding of the politics at the time.That is why the King Charles Cavaliers called that, though,
01:21:17because if you look up the King Charles wigs of the time.Apparently 17th century British,king.Had youCharles a second.And it was known asthe cavalier king.Let me see.
01:21:31You're being very cavalier.Yeah, that's why.That's the word was.Oh, yeah.See, he's got the wig like the ears of the dog.That's interesting.Right.To me,
01:21:43he looks way more like a French kingthan a English king.Yeah, I see that.Yeah, totally.It looks like a Louis.They're all Louys, aren't they?Yeah, yeah.Wow.
01:21:52I mean, if I was English, I'd be talking more about this guy.Yeah.I mean, can you, this is terrible for people listening at home,and so it might get cut out, but can you please bring up,like, who was his opposition?Like a politician, a parliamentarian who was like,who was against King Charles's excesses.Oh.
01:22:14The country party, which evolved into the Whig Party,with an H, not there.formed around politicians like the Earl of ShaftesburyThe Earl of ShaftesburyI have to get up now myselfAm I had they all look likeRichard E. Grant?Yes.
01:22:33Everyone in British history looked like Richard E. Grant.Wow, this guy, I meanyeah, there's someone about him.Anyway, what are we talking about?I don't know, we're talking about snails.Claire, it's your turn.Well, I chose the snail.I chose my King Charles 1, even though it's...
01:22:53Can you please give them back to me?Okay, so the cavaliers were royalists loyal to King Charles 1,and the roundheads, I was right, were parliamentarians who opposed him.They were opposing factions.The royalists were really about the excesses of royalty,and the roundheads were really like a bit more spart.Yeah, austerity, exactly.Roundhead is so fun.
01:23:13Yeah, because they didn't...Is that because they, like, had short hair?Because the cavaliers had these big silly wigs,and the roundheads didn't wear big silly wigs.is how I understand.Oh, I love it.The whole reason for the wigs originally was because everyone had syphilis and all their hair fell out.Is that correct?
01:23:29Claire, this feels like a sort of, do we go on topic, you should come and tell.I would love to.I only know history through the lens of the costuming of history.That's how I access historical facts.I'm like, we'll start with the hair and then explain why the hair.Yeah, this is a blanche.I've read David Mitchell's book about the history of the English monarchy a few times.So I must have, I must know that guy, but I didn't have the picture in my head.
01:23:58I'm going to have to read it again.Did you read it in his voice?Yes.Well, one of the times I read it was I listened to it.So it was absolutely in his voice.I know Claire doesn't like calling it reading when you're listening.Have I said that?Or did you just catch that off my facial expression?
01:24:17I just...All right, the answers are in.Question number three.Kaman Rider X.Carmen.Yep.Fuck.Carmen Rider X is my redemption.
01:24:33And you've blown it.I've blown it.I want this is going to be a clip for sure.I've got to get it right.Ram.It's the funny thing is I've written like Rahman and I have to get rid in my head.Raymond, Rahman.And then I go,
01:24:47Everybody loves Carmen.Kaman.Kaman.Kaman.Is that a new show you're working on, Claire?Is that the start of the process?Yeah, yeah, yeah.Start of the process.
01:25:00Fun.Yeah.Like I always really enjoy the writing.Not always.Last few years.Yeah, great.No, I just really enjoy the writing process.And then I find the touring process more challenging.
01:25:13I find that it's hard to stay on an even keel.emotionally when you were in the midst of touring a show.But I do really like the bit where you're like,where you've got lots of ideas and they all feel exciting to you.That's nice, isn't it?Yes.I feel like I can see the blank page, right, is sometimes real exciting.It could be anything.
01:25:36It could be anything.Sometimes it's like, oh, fuck, I got nothing.But I've always, like, my page is never blank for long.It's not full of good stuff.Yeah, yeah.It's just like, oh, like my phone will be full of little notes to myself and I'll put them on the page and I'll go, what have we got here?Yesterday, I open my fridge and there was a large black fly in my fridge.And I'm like, yeah, see?
01:26:01There's comedy in that.Chill and fly.Chill and fly.Because what that says is, abandon all you thought you knew.Didn't you think your food was safe in the fridge?You're like, that's one place you're definitely not going to get flies on it.Turns out they can get into your fridge.And they can still be like buzzing around in there.
01:26:17Oh, it was still.Well, it wasn't very active.It was definitely cool.Yeah.It was on its way to sleep.I wonder if it had been left in there for long.I don't know how long.I hadn't seen a fly that big.
01:26:29Oh, yeah.I'm picturing like in the house.I'm like, how did it even get in there?I'm more worried.What did it get into?Oh, don't worry.Yeah, we threw out anything that looks like.You know, like there was a half lemon.
01:26:40Yeah.That goes.Well, I mean.Old mate could have done his.Yeah, but it's a bit.It's a bit acidic, right?You would have thought so, but still, we're just, to be sure.Yeah, fair enough.
01:26:49Anyway, it sounds funny so far.The show is going to be called There's a Fly in My Fridge.It's going to be called My Enemies.Oh.And you just go through the list, number one, fly in the fridge.I mean, that is.Number two.That is, that is what it sounds like I'm going to do.
01:27:08I reckon it's probably going to be not a list show, but I still, but maybe, yeah, I haven't decided yet.I haven't decided, but I don't think it'll be list.Number three, the post office.I think it's more likely to be more of a message to my future self when I've becomeright wing.Oh, yeah.Because I've just starting to think of that as a bit of an inevitability.Right.
01:27:27You're on.It's a slippery slide.Yeah, and I just don't think you notice it happening.And if I can just record some stories today that I can, that I can have given back to meat the point where I've become a problem by people that are like, Claire,You foresaw thisAnd this is what you wantedTo tell you
01:27:48You're out of the back of your houseYou've become a problemScreaming into your phoneYeahHell yeahOh yeahOkayMy enemies
01:28:00Yeah yeahI like itThanks manOh yeahOh yeah you're still waiting for mineDo you remember what the question wasFine I'll just send thatI forgot to put a full
01:28:14stop at the end of that one, but could you deliver it like I did?Okay.Thanks.I'll know which one it is.How about it?I'll bat it enough.Matt, please, which one doesn't have a full stop?I'd use that one.
01:28:27Do they have Margarita Vils over here yet?No, which is disgusting.That singer never really made it here, did he?Or Jimmy Buffett?Yeah, I'm only been aware of him more recently.Yeah, he made it.I did.He had hits over here.
01:28:44Would I know any of your songs?Yeah.Okay.Margaritaville.I don't know if I know that.Wasting away again in Margaritaville.Oh.Do you heard of that?
01:28:54Yeah.Woman of blame.But I guess.Do, do, do, do.It's a great song.Yeah, I just don't know if I know it.But I know it's very big.You know it, dude.
01:29:12Because it was huge in America.It's a possibility to educate you.He was big enough in America to have a chain of restaurants.And what a chain they are.Are you doing a new show this year?Next to you, Ben?I was just saying, I don't know because I want to,I have to come back here for work.
01:29:34But I also want to be,I want to have moved, gone over to L.A. by that time.To live?Hmm.Yes.Don't go.I was like, hey, you know what?The US is doing great at the moment.
01:29:51Things seem really good and stable.They're only up.Yeah.Go there.Yeah, yeah.No, I just want an adventure.Yeah.That sounds fun.
01:30:01Are you leaving your wife?No, we're going together.You got a pet, haven't you?We do, and she's coming.Yeah, great.Can I come and visit?Yes.Oh, my God.
01:30:11Yeah.Hang on, where are you going to live again?LA.Yeah.Yeah.We were thinking like, just there's so many nice, we really like L.A.Because I do not.I just keep going going.
01:30:22When will it, when will it catch on for me?Yeah, I think it helps because I've got friends there still.And so it's like.Mate, I've got mates.Yeah.Yeah.I think it's, you know, like you really need a car.You can't just, you've got to hire a car.
01:30:38Whatever you do.You really have to be in a car.And you've got to have a place.You've got to have an address to go to.You can't just, you know, the way New York gives itself up to pedestrians,because you can just discover things.Sure.You can't drive in Manhattan.
01:30:53You wouldn't.No.You wouldn't do it.Sorry.Yes.I got you off, Matt.Manhattan in particular is like a, it's like a theme park nowadays.Yeah, I get it.
01:31:03I know.I'm just, I'm being really predictable and cliche saying New York's better.And I'm not saying it's better.I'm just saying it's easier to discover something gorgeous.and LA you just got to know where you're going.Yeah, you do.You have to know where you're going.And I kind of do know where I'm going with LA.
01:31:22And also I just,I just fucking love the weather.I love it.Move to Perth then.I don't want to.L.A. has got like the population of Australia, right?I love Brisbane.I do like Brisbane.
01:31:37I believe there is like a gap in the comedy scene therebecause this guy Joe Rogan left L.A.Yeah, he moved elsewhere.I just really liked it.I know it's not popular and I totally understand why people don't like L.A.But I just really enjoyed like the,I enjoy the energy that's there.And I like there's a lot of stuff going on there in terms of like,
01:32:01if you want to see shows, there's always shows going on.That's cool.Like sure, the industry is in a slump.But we live in Australia.Their slump is like bigger than.still bigger than anything we've ever experienced.And you're a citizen, right?Yeah.
01:32:17So you're,there's not,yeah,you've got everything.And we can always come back.That's the beautiful.If you need any medical.That's our privilege is that we can come back to us.
01:32:25You come back for,yeah,hospitals and stuff.Yeah.Yeah.I mean,anything,like I used to,
01:32:31when I lived,lived in Chicago,my dad would possibly illegally,but male asthma medication to me.from Australia.Oh yeah.If you could send me some ricola,some of those lovely Swedish throat lozenges,
01:32:49that would be great.I've actually literally,I've got a delivery coming on Mondayand I'm so excited.I can send you,funny the things you...Yeah, they are,but it is interesting over there,
01:33:00you can get some,you get cooler stuff from their chemists.Yeah.But yeah, they're every...They've got a very...The morning after pill?You're giving up a lot of stuff.melatonin
01:33:11melatoninthat's one that I'm goingbecause I'm going over in Novemberand I'm likeI'm going to get so muchfucking melatoninwhen I'm over thereAmerica's like
01:33:19they find it crazythat we can't easily getmelatoninit is crazyyou gotta go to a doctorit is wildthat we can'tthat we have to get
01:33:26a prescriptionfor melatonbut alsothere is wildhow variablethe likethe dosage levelis in any one
01:33:35packet of Americanmelatoninso you knowlikeThat is true.Yeah.So there is the different regulations are really interesting.And the fact that there's no regulation over there.
01:33:46Right.Yeah.I've listened to a couple of great podcasts where you're like, holy hell, you can just sell anything.Right.Like the gas station pills.Oh no.I know.Which is like insane.
01:33:58Yeah.You can just put it whatever in there and you don't have to say what it is.And it can be dosages of things like caffeine that are.Yeah.I very much recommended against for humans.And it's like you can get a weekly dosage of like Viagra effectively.Yeah.Sildaphanel in one pill.
01:34:21Yeah, it's wild over there.It is the Wild West.But it's the land of the free in some ways.Yeah.And also if you can't kind of get it on the chemist shelves,then you can just put the like request through it.Like call it a nutritional supplement.Well, you call it a food instead of.
01:34:38nutritional something like because there's always a great loophole to get your freaky product onthe market it's very much make money any way you can and if you get caught though doing badthings and that's bad but if you don't get caught then that's totally cool and if you've madeenough money by doing the bad things then being caught isn't such a big deal no you then you won'tget punished yeah yeah you're right it's a really that's an interest that's the interesting gamecome up with a potentially harmful and dangerous product but just make sure you sellenough before you get caughtthat you have friends in the right places
01:35:12when you get caught. Brilliant. Who were makingmoney off you as well. It was an American dream.Yeah, yeah. Money flowsup. Sounds like a great place.I want to go there. Yeah, and you willand you'll have all the melaton and you want.But you've got the best of both worlds.Like there's so much stuff that it is great
01:35:28there. And then you can just pop back when youneed, you know, a bit of normal stuff.Yeah, 100%.And it's so cheapto go over there at the moment because noone's going over there. It is it, it must be, you've got so many US listeners, it must be sostrange to hear me talking about, I mean, you know, like, because it's there normal.Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And also it sounds like I'm being super critical and obviously,
01:35:54I'm, to be fair, Americans, they get it, they know. They get. Yeah, I think anyone listeningare. The American listeners of this, yeah, they know. They, yeah, I do joke occasionally when, um,someone brings up Trump, I say, well, remember half our listeners.Trump supporters.And when I was over in kind of the other week, a few of them were saying how funny theyfind that that I'm like, like half of the listeners of this show are Trump supporters.They're like, there's no Trump supporters.Yeah, I don't think so.
01:36:22But, you know, maybe.Hey, write in.Yeah, write us in.Let us know.That's okay.They can't.I see.I just, it was sorry.
01:36:30It was low hanging fruit.I'm so sorry.No, but you're right, though.I mean, that's what trillions of dollars into your defense budget does.You've got to take it from somewhere.Why don't make it education?Oh, my God.
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