Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 6 - Nick Mason and Cass Paige

Episode Date: October 17, 2022

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a new comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. The fifth episode features guests Jess Perkins and Sammy Peterson!Check out Matt's stand up special FREE on YouTube: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!See the show live, get tickets via: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Check out Cass' podcast network: https://www.sanspantsradio.com/Check out Nick's podcast network: https://bigsandwich.co/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and Logo by @muzdoodles! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, it's the titular Matt Stewart here just letting you know that me and Saranja Amana are at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. We're on every night. Chinese Museum and then for the second half of the festival at the Grace Darling Hotel and we'd love to see you there. Use the discount code DOGOON and we'll see you at the shows. Also in Sydney and Brisbane, the comedy festivals in both those cities with our show Dry Dry. Would love to see you at all of those shows. Come to each one. Now on with the show. As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors.

Like when our estrogen levels drop during menopause, causing the risk of heart disease to go up. Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca. Welcome to Who Knew It with Matt Stewart, the show where the guests write the wrong answers. I'm the titular Matt Stewart, and this week I'm joined by Planet Broadcasting's own number one party boy, Nick Mason. Welcome, Nick. Hello, it's great to be here. I'm very excited. I'm also joined by Sands Pants Radio's own number one party girl, Cass Page. Hello. I'm also very excited to be here.

So good. I mean, you could cut the excitement with a knife. You wouldn't want to. No. It's the last thing I would do. Leave it to flourish, Matt. Yeah. Just eat the last thing I would do. Leave it to flourish, Matt. Yeah. Just eat the whole excitement cake in one go. Chop your little mitts in there. Start an excitement fight. Stick it down your gullet.

Yeah. Let's really choke on that excitement. I'm gagging on fun. Now, Nick, do you know what this show is? Yes. I probably should have. Okay, great. Probably should have asked you before now.

If you don't know how it works, listeners, new i'll explain oh should i play dumb oh you want to try oh okay let's go again we're leaving this in though right of course okay nick is the first time guest you might be wondering what this show is and how does it work is that true what am this where am i well damn podcast okay well okay i'm to have to get right from the top if you're asking those sort of questions. Who are you? I'm Matt. Oh. Anyway, the show's pretty simple.

I ask a question and you two have to write a convincing fake answer. Then I'll read your answers as well as the real one, and you have to guess which one you think is correct. Can we call them fances for fake answers? Oh, okay, yeah. If I know anything about podcasting, I know that a funny thing to do is take two words and smoosh them together.

Podcast? I think the number one podcasting joke is the portmanteau. It is. He's right. Getting the S part of that in. He's so right. Oh, yeah. The second rule of podcasting is be good at improv.

Jeez, you're ticking all boxes so far. Cass, are we ready to play? Yes. Yes. Where? Also, just to be clear ready to play? Yes. Yes. Where? Also, just to be clear, I'm not here to win. I'm here to learn and have fun. Yep.

Unless I come close to winning, at which point I'm going to switch suddenly and I'm going to be all about winning. Oh, beautiful. I'm going to work on the opposite. We can high five on the way through. I'm here to win and the first sign of faltering. No, it's actually not about winning. It's about having a good time with your friends.

All right, here is question number one. This one comes from Josh from Brisbane. And the question is, what is the definition of the word calipidgin? And how would I spell that? C-A-L-L-I-P-Y-G-I-A-N, calipidgin. I'll put it in a word for you. I'll put it in a sentence. I'll put it in a word for you. I'll put it in a sentence. I'll put it in a word for you.

Did you put it in a portmanteau for us? That's scallopygian. That's a scallywag, callipygian, yeah. All right, so that's the question. You've just got to write a definition of the word callipygian. That's the sentence. Oh, terrific. Nice.

While you're writing your answers, I'll explain how the scoring works to you if you can do two things at once But also to the listeners at home So you get one point if your fake answer Is guessed by the other contestant And another point if you correctly guessed the answer And by the way I'm also playing as the house

I've put in two of my own fake answers For each question and I get a point For each one that our guests choose. So each of us can score up to two points per round. Seems fair, but apparently the probability slightly favors me. The house and the house always wins. Unless you've listened to previous episodes and you'll know that this is far from the truth. The questions come from our great Patreon supporters. If you want to submit a question, you can sign up on any level via patreon.com slash dogoonpod

and that will be linked in the show notes. The Do Go On Podcast Network features this podcast as well as many others like Do Go On, Book Cheat, and Primates, a monkey-based podcast.

And I know that there are listeners going, can we pause now and go and listen to the entire back catalog of primates i thought the listeners were going to be saying you know monkeys don't include all primates that's that's where i that's where i thought you were going there but i think realistically at this point because you know how language evolves yes yes i think they should i think monkeys should just include all primates at this point i think that should change the definition. I agree.

All right. It looks like your answers are in. Do you feel ready to hear the options? I'm ready. Yes, absolutely. I'll never be more ready than this, I think. All right. Here's question number one. What is the definition of the word calipidgin?

A style of music from the Middle Ages? One who has their funeral pyre made out of calypso icy poles? There are only two. Having shapely buttocks. Oh. An ancient Roman musical instrument similar to a xylophone or a walking style similar to that of a pigeon, bobbing the head and wayward.

Oh, my goodness. Oh, those are all good. They are good, aren't they? We've got two musical answers. Yes. And oftentimes if you're doing a multiple choice, it's often a choice between two that are very similar. Really?

I mean, that's usually to do with maths, though. That's not. But it's also a little, it's often a trick of the quiz writer because you're like in their head they're thinking of this one thing. Yeah, right. Their imagination's only taken. Yeah, that's true. I like the idea of the walking style one just because, you know,

some people like pigeon toad. Yes. See, I was a big fan of the bum one. Of course. Do you need to hear them again or do you feel like you've got them all down? Let's give it to me one more time. I'll give it to you quickly here. So you've got a style of music from the Middle Ages,

the funeral pyre made out of calypso icy poles, shapely buttocks, ancient Roman musical instrument like a xylophone, or a walking style similar to that of a pigeon. They're all good. I'm going to go with the first musical one. First musical one, the style of music from the Middle Ages. Yes. If I make so, I've locked it in. That's terrific. I'm very excited. Cass? I'm locking in buns. Buns? Yep. Give them terrific. I'm very excited. Cass? I'm locking in buns. Buns? Yep. Give them shape. Give them a name.

See, my concern is that Cass, I know, knows a lot of like esoteric factual things, I think. And you are the carryover champ. I am the carryover champ. I understand why you think that. But also, crucially, you can recall things, I think. I like to think that I know some facts, but I can't. Like my ideal recording situation for this would be I would be in bed

at 3 a.m. and you guys could be around the bed and we could record then and I'd just come awake and be like, it's an ancient musical style. I know things. Well, next time we do an episode, we'll do it around your bed. Yeah, that'd be great. Then I wouldn't have to get up. I think ideally I try and pick questions that I don't think the guests will know. So if Cass-

To embarrass us. Oh, yes. Yeah. Terrific, good. The main point of the show was- Oh, no. I'm so wrong. He's strong.

He's strong. I'm wrong. Wait, is strong already one of them portmanteaus? So wrong. So wrong. I've got to stop. Sorry. All right.

Here are the answers. A walking style similar to that of a pigeon. That was suggested by the house. Oh, that's a good one. An ancient Roman musical instrument similar to a xylophone. That was Maso's answer. Ooh. Like a calliope?

Is that a musical thing? Is that an instrument? Oh. So you were doing the thing that you were referring to Yes I was Oh you cheeky man I see why you pivoted to this I think we've both had our hard pivot really early on

I'm like no I'm just going to have fun You're like I've figured out how the game works Cass' one was About the funeral pyre Did I pronounce that right? A style of music from the middle ages may so guess that. That was the house. Meaning having shapely buttocks was correct. Hell yeah! So one point to Cass, one point to the house.

What era is that, Matt? Do you know where that's come from? Oh, yes. Ancient Greek. Oh, that's fun. It comes from a combination of the words for beauty and buttocks in ancient greek they've mushed that together portmanteau portmanteau oh my god it is josh from brisbane somehow stumbled upon that though i don't know maybe he studies he's stumbled upon a beautiful bum yeah maybe that was oh no what a, what a horrible day. Why are you in this library Googling Greek bums? Well. All right, you ready for question number two?

Yes. I don't know if you need a score update. You probably don't. No. Aw. Aw. Here's question number two. I'm just here for fun and learning.

Nice fun and learning. Not winning, no. Hard pivot again. Hard pivot. This one comes from Mike Salt from Southern Oregon. Great. Aw, that rules. Fantastic man.

Oh, you sound like a man from TV, but not real TV, fake TV. One of those shows inside a show. Yeah, like when they go to different places, they use a different filter. It's Mike Salt, Oregon Ranger. Oh, I could buy that. I'm going to fund that show. Okay.

Get a one-page pitch doc on my desk by the morning. I'm going to fund that show. Okay. Get a one-page pitch doc on my desk by the morning. I'm going to fund that. Okay, just says Mike Salt, Oregon Ranger. Funded. It's a stick figure with two guns. Oh, two? Oh, big stamp. A 10-episode season, okay?

I'm not going to go straight in for a multi-season run. He doesn't get the guns until episode 10. That's how they get you. All right. Here is Mike Salt's question. Who is Colossal Claude? Who is Colossal Claude? Oh.

And while you're writing your answers, here's some more information on the word calipidgin. According to our question writer, Josh, calipidgin comes from the combination of the two ancient Greek words for beauty and buttocks and was famously used to name a statue of the Greek goddess of love, the so-called Aphrodite Calipygos,

who raises her robe to reveal her backside in the statue. I don't think that was just a personality trait of hers. The original bronze statue thought to have been created in 300 BC has since been lost, but a marble recreation from the first century BC can still be seen today at the National Archaeological Museum in Naples. It's probably because the bronze one didn't keep because have you seen what people do to bronze ones? The stuff in people's skin our sebum i think it is when you touch bronze it reacts to the bronze and it tarnishes or it doesn't tarnish in those

areas so if you turns green it i think it doesn't turn green oh it doesn't turn i'm pretty sure so if you've got a bronze i might be wrong but if you've got a bronze statue and there's one part that everyone touches that part stays bronzy ah so you'll see certain statues that it's lucky to rub the feet and that they're a different yeah or you'll see certain statues that it's lucky to rub the feet and they're a different colour. Yeah, or you'll see statues of animals and you'll be like, why are the balls a different colour? It's because people are freaks. No, that's because it's lucky to touch the statue balls.

It's lucky to touch the statue balls. You're right, Matt. Sorry, my mistake. Well, it sounds like you would have had a little more luck in your life. If I'd done it. You're right. You're right. Just saying.

I kind of really yes-man my life, but it's touch balls. Here is question number two. Who is Colossal Claude? A sea monster with a long giraffe-like neck? An NFL tight end who played for the San Francisco 49ers? A prize-winning breeding ram? A character from a 1987 ad campaign discouraging students from cheating on sats his catchphrase was be like colossal claude and not a colossal fraud

or the largest silverback gorilla who was ever kept in captivity five options very colossal don't know that's that's really good stuff. Now, I wouldn't put it past you, Matt Stewart, The House, to write the joke Colossal Fraud. Okay. You wouldn't put that past me? It's too funny. You'd put it past me, so then. Oh, what I put apart.

I would say Colossal Claude. Don't be a Colossal Claude. And that sounds more American to me. Oh, yeah. If we could go back to 1987. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give them some punch-up tips for their ad script. Yeah.

And. All right, let me run through them. Yeah, let's have another round two. Round two. I think it, Maceo went first last time, so you get. I get first dibs? Your first dibs this time. Can we both have the same?

We absolutely can. There's no reason to have first dibs. Well, I know for a fact that is the answer, but you've said it first, so I guess I'll take the stupid joke answer. All right, so let us know if you're having any thoughts here. We've got a sea monster with a long giraffe-like neck, an NFL tight end who played for the 49ers, a prize-winning breeding ram,

the character from a 1987 ad campaign discouraging students from cheating, or the largest silverback gorilla who was ever kept in captivity? I'm going to go the ram. That colossal really sounds like an animal name by someone, given to the animal by someone who's proud of it. The animal obviously can't name itself, you know? Someone's proud. Yeah.

You put a bunch of names on the ground. You're going to tap their hoof. Tap your hoof three times for an A. Four times if you don't want an A. Oh to know oh god okay but we've committed to this all right uh what are you thinking there may so well he's the the submit is from america that's right i'm wondering if maybe and your nfl players can have almost people love an nfl and it doesn't like, like in Australia, an AFL player called Claude would just be Claude-o. But in America, I feel like they would be like,

no, this is Colossal Claude. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to go with that one. I love it. All right. Colossal Claude, the tight end. Tied end or tight? Tight end.

I'm figuring out Gridiron over the last few years. The tight end's like sort of like an offensive player who also does some blocking as well, but he'll also catch some balls. An offensive player? Yes. And they still let him play? More like cancelled play. Yeah.

We hang away. Is that because, Matt, because you have so many, like, American football T-shirts and now you have to learn them? Yeah, you can't wear the hat because someone will come up and say, oh, name their last five Super Bowl appearances. What? People say that to you? Hypothetically, they might.

Yeah. No, it's scary to think about. I get that. All right. So here are who gave the answers. The largest silverback gorilla, that was Cass's answer. A character from a 1987 ad campaign, that was The House. Oh, that was so good. It was a little

combo work from Mike Salt and me. He wrote something similar. I like to get involved. If you told me what the mascot was, I might have believed. If you were like, it's a big can of Coke or something. Yes. Kids love a big can of Coke. It could have been a silverback gorilla. Could have been. Then we had a prize winning

breeding ram. That's what Cass picked. That was Meso's answer. Oh, really good. Thank you. Really good. One point to Meso. Yes, I'm on the board. I don't have to run around the table with my pants on.

An NFL tight end. That was the house. Ah. So that's one point for the house. Thank you, Meso. Oh, you're welcome. Meaning the correct answer was a sea monster with a long giraffe-like neck. Really?

Wow. Hang on. No, no, I'm not about to ask is it a real sea monster, but can you say more, please? I can. So it was first sighted in 1934 according to cryptids.fandom, and the guy saw it, L.A. Larson, described it as a 40-foot animal with a neck some eight feet long,

a big round body, a mean-looking tail, and an evil snaky look to its head. A snaky look to its head. That sounds like a diplodocus or whatever. It does, doesn't it? Yeah. Or a bargain bin Loch Ness monster. Yeah, that's right. Land Ness monster.

Also, it doesn't, like, I don't picture a clawed and, like, a snake-like head. Yeah, that's right. Land Ness Monster. Also, I don't picture a Claude and like a snake-like head. Yeah, I think it must have been. Claude seems friendly to me. Oh, right. Or pretentious maybe at the most. But it was named back in the 30s. Maybe there were more sinister Claudes around back then. It's also now known as, since a more recent sighting,

Marvin the Monster. Uh-oh. It seems vaguely copyright infringing. Yeah, and they got it so right with Colossus Claude. They got it right. He's catching on. So why would you change the name, I wonder? I mean, maybe if somebody else saw it.

I think someone else saw it and then maybe they didn't realise that it had already been seen. Guys, I've seen this new thing. It's called Marvin the Monster. Yeah. Here's question number three what did the scottish parliament ban on the 6th of march 1457 and why did they ban it 1457 scottish parliament banned something what did they ban and why did they ban it

and while you're writing those answers i'll tell the listeners a little bit more about our mate, Colossal Claude. So first seen in 1934, he was then seen again in 1937 by the crew of a fishing trawler named Viv. Beautiful name for a boat. Viv! Beautiful name for a boat or a girl. Charles E. Graham, captain of the Viv, described it as a long, hairy, tan-coloured creature The same captain of the Viv described it as a long, hairy, tan-coloured creature with the head of an overgrown horse, about 40 feet long, with a four-foot waist. A few months later, a couple sighted a creature they described

as looking like an aquatic giraffe. In 1939, crew of fishing ship Argo also saw a colossal claw. It reared up over the water 10 feet away from the hull of the ship. The crew watched it eat fish before they turned away from the creature. Why did it turn away? That's rude. Don't perv. Yeah. Oh, it's eating. Sorry. We shouldn't. Claude said at home. Yeah. Don't peeping. Don't be peeping. We've come to its house. Yeah. Claude stuck his long, long neck through the house out the front door. But if they were, if they were polite enough to look away, surely they could have been polite enough not to go to the press and describe Claude as having a camel-like head with a coarse grey fur.

Oh, not a snake at all. Glossy eyes and a bent snout. Bent snout? I think there's two different. I think there's two different. Everyone who describes it describes it quite differently. Well, then they're not the same guy. Come on.

I guess we don't know how these things age. True. Maybe the first guy saw baby Claude. Yep. And then his baby skin fell off and then his adult fur came in. You know, it's like orangutans. You see a baby orangutan and you see an adult male one where their face looks like a dinner plate.

You don't think that's the same animal? No. We don't do anything like that, do we? Oh, our tummies get wider. Yeah. Nothing else stretches like that. You'd assume they come out. Yeah, it's like right on the face.

Really? Hang on. That's a different kind of orangutan. No. Really? Really. Is that not a different kind of, oh, no, that's. That's just like the adult males.

And their face. It's like a status thing just like the adult males. And their face... It's like a status thing, I think, even. So their face gets bigger the more important they get? Something like that. Oh, so what will... What do they get more important the bigger their face gets? Luckily, we're not on Primates podcast. Otherwise...

We'd have to find out. I would have to be factually correct right now. In 1963, the Shell Oil Company, during an oil search off the Oregon coast, recorded a videotape that shows a 15-foot animal with barnacles ridged along its body. It swam in a corkscrew fashion in 180 feet deep water. And this is when it got the nickname Marvin the Monster. I'm not sure why that necessarily gives it the nickname Marvin the Monster.

But it makes sense. Now it's quite old. That's why it's got all the barnacles on it. Oh, yeah. It's like the underside of Viv. Do you want to hear the possible explanations? Yeah. Yes.

They think. And we can pick an actual explanation. Okay, great. So these are the three possible explanations they've got. Colossal Claude is thought to have been a jellyfish, a whale, or a surviving plesiosaur. Okay, so that's like the lapras dinosaur, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Lapras. I don't know what that means, but I'm saying yes. The Pokemon, though. So I don't sound silly. It's like Diplodocus of the Sea, mermaid. Yeah, that's the fish with long neck. Oh, please understand. I long neck. Oh. I don't know anything about Pokemon. Oh, please understand.

I know Pikachu. Yep. And I know the one that looks like a dragon and he's got fire coming out of him. Charizard? Yes. Okay, there's the two I know. Oh, he's got such a big belly. There's an artist's rendition of a plesiosaur.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sort of looks like the Scottish one. Loch Ness. Loch Ness. Macbeth. They've just called it Monster as well.

I never realised how rude that is. They've given this guy a name, Claude. They've just gone, your house. It'd be like calling Cass House Woman. You know what I mean? Yeah. It'd be like calling Nick Tram Boy. You live in the tram, right?

I do, yes. Yeah, he lives and sleeps in the tram. And the tram gets from A to B because that's where Nick has to go. Is that true? Yes. Yeah, the tram only goes where you need. People jump on and off. You don't know how they're getting in your house.

So that's why they have to pay an entry fee because it's rude otherwise. I have this broom. Get out of here. Get out of it. It used to, back in the old days, you just bring like a plate, like a normal dinner party, but you got too full. Couldn't keep it all in the tiny fridge in the tram. That's right.

What you should do is get an orangutan. Then you'll never have to bring a plate. That's very true. Lie him down. Use his face as a plate. Sorry, it's dinner time. Claude, I also call my orangutan Claude. Time to limbo for father.

Oh, God. Question number three. What did the Scottish Parliament ban on the 6th of March 1457? Wearing hats inside as the king was a devout Christian and believed God should be able to see their heads when they're inside? Inside? Yeah, I don't know. Under a...

I guess God can see through a roof but not through a hat. So he can see through one item at a time. It's like Superman can't see through land. Yeah. God can see through a roof but he can't see through a hat. Yes. Yeah, it's tricky. It's got the rounded corners.

It throws off his... It throws his vision off. It's reflecting light in all the wrong ways. I'm just imagining like just an old-timey picture and somebody's drawn all the angles. Here's the angles of God. Yeah, the king, he had a theory and he made everyone think of it. So that was option one.

Then we have golf was banned because people were playing when they should have been at military training. The sale of whiskey made from grain grown in Great Britain to increase trade with Ireland. Having rats as pets was banned as they were thought to still be carrying the plague. Or, ironically, it was bagpipes because playing them at night time would announce the presence of Scottish villagers

to Saxon raiding parties. Ooh. What's interesting about all of these is even the ones that are lies, they tell the audience what we think stereotypes about Scottish people are. That is good. It's like, well, they like to drink and they like golf and they... Yeah, that's right. Bagpipes, rats.

Hats. Hats and rats. Hats and rats. Scots love hats and rats. Yeah, you've got your Scottish person costume. You've got your little hat. You've got your golf club. You hit the rat.

I should have said this question was written by Bree, like the cheese, she's hopefully said, from Harvey Bay in Queensland. Ah, sunny Queensland. Yeah, so far away from sunny Scotland. So the question is, what did the Scottish Parliament ban on the 6th of March, 1457? Wearing hats inside, golf, sale of whiskey, having rats as pets or bagpipes?

I think we're back to you, May Sir. Okay, man. I think this is like episode six, I think. And I reckon this is the one where no one has been taking the piss. Sure, sure, sure. Which is what a beautiful turn of events. Eventually a meme develops. Eventually every second answer is Shrek or whatever.

Yeah. Okay. God, hats seems plausible. I mean, it was 500 years ago. Like it kind of feels like. Can I ask a question? Of course. Is the law still in effect no

okay okay hats but rats and they sound the same and again you're picking the one of those is correct i think so yeah ah the other possibility is that the two that sound the same are the two the house faked exactly because you went hats went hats. The fences. Okay, sure. Okay. I'm going to go with hats. Hats? Maybe that's the origin of like you shouldn't wear hats indoors because it's rude.

Well, I'll go with rats then. I think they both deserve a little shot, a shot at the title. Yeah. Okay. Hats and rats locked in. So the answers were the bagpipes one. That was Mesa. That was fantastic.

That is good. Any other week, all your answers would have been picked so far because they've all been beautifully written. Folks, email in if you were tricked by that. Or any time I've tricked you with a word that I've said, in here or in real life. The sale of whiskey, that was Cass. Oh, very good cass so that means that

the correct answer is either hats or rats or golf come on hats come on rats the rats one that was written by the house very well done this is very well done Hats was also written by the house. Oh, you were right. You were right. I was trying to. I'm like, maybe that's what happened. I didn't realise that's what I'd done,

but I think that's probably what happened. Hats and Rats. Oh, my God. So what is the answer? The correct answer is golf. Golf. Because they were playing too much golf when they should have been at military training.

That's so funny. And golf was around then, 500 years ago. Yeah, and it was invented in Scotland, right? Yeah. Yeah, it's a pretty old sport, I guess. I wonder how different it was. What was the ball technology like? What did you call your car, Dave?

How many bloody championships had bloody Greg Norman won already? How many had he choked in? Oh, Greg Norman's lipped out. Jeez, this is this quick score update. Mason on one point, Cass on one point, but the house out in front on four points. We've got to lift our game. Some would say that's an unbeatable lead

and we should just give up now. Oh, I'm hearing about giving up now. You've both got, there's still eight points up for grabs for both of you. In total? Oh, each. Each. Yeah, okay. Okay, great.

Good, okay. You get two points per round. I didn't factor in maths there. I wasn't factoring in maths. That's all right. We'll beat him. Yeah, we'll beat him. We'll burn this house down. That's all right. We'll beat him. We'll burn this house down.

Here is question number four. Eli Fisher from Houston wrote this one. What is the nickname of NBA player Larry Smith? 90s NBA player Larry Smith. What is the nickname? 90s NBA player Larry Smith. Smitho. Not NBL player.

Oh, sorry. Sorry, then I don't know tricky could be anything any combination of words what's his name again larry smith larry smith okay uh while you're writing your answers here's some more info about the scottish banning of golf uh scotland's parliament banned golf along with football in 1457 as people were playing games when they should have been at military training parliament repeated the ban in 1471 and then again in 1491. They kept being like, oh, no, they're back on the courses. Guys, the war's still there.

Go to war. The war's fun. People knew about the war. People were like, oh, I reckon standing outside going on a walk with my mates, much better. Yeah. You do one big swing and then you just go on a walk with your friends what they they were trying to get people to do we could do that with a big sword as well

just one big swing then just going oh that's true why can't why couldn't they have just turned it into army practice you know because they would they what they wanted people to do instead was to do archery practice that would they're like stop playing golf hey this is fun too you just practice archery hey and they made all the local barons and stuff put up archery things just around the place yeah right oh it'd be like oh fun you yeah it's like when they put exercise parks near where you live in your area you're like oh i should they're removing all barriers, aren't they? But they also invented video games. Yeah. It's so fun. Apparently.

They banned Pokemon Go. They banned Pokemon Go? No, I'm just saying that's the perfect crime. That's like Pokemon in a public park. No, that is exactly what it is. Yes, that's right. All right. So your answers are in. Here's question four.

What is the nickname of NBA player Larry Smith? Mr. Mean, the downtown clown, the Thunderdog, Professor S, or the Big Whammy from Miami? Oh, I want it to be that one, I think. That's the best one. Honestly, every single one you've said there, I'm like, I want it to be that one. They're all great.

These guys are unbeatable. Can we get them again? Yep. single one you've said there i'm like i want it to be that yeah they're all great can we get them again yep mr mean the downtown clown the thunder dog professor s the big whammy from miami um so yeah so he's doing like america football yeah uh basketball basketball sorry yes uh so i think you're first cast i think you are first cast do you want to hear any of them again or you feel like you've got them in there no same again they're fun mr mean i could do with i'll put it in in his name so it really gives you a feel for it larry mr mean smith uh-huh larry the downtown clown smith larry the Thunderdog Smith, Larry Professor S. Smith,

or Larry the Big Whammy from Miami Smith? My favourite one's a Downtown Clown, and I reckon that's a joke you've written. But it's very good. I have to pay it. Sometimes, Cass, I mean, if you think you know the one I've written, that's the one to avoid. Is this a clue? Is this a clue for Matt?

Oh, no. He's doing it again. Guilty conscience, Matt. Because the last time Cass played, she would often pick the one she just thought was, like, the funniest one that someone had written. That's kind of what I'm doing as well. But it's not.

You're not going to win that way. Well, if it makes me laugh, I feel like you get a prize. Yeah. The prize is the laugh. Okay. You can give the prize of a laugh and still get the answer correct, I think. True. All right.

And also I think the joy is, especially with these ones, you do get to say the name. I'll probably never get to say any of these names in my regular life after this. I was going to say the downtown clown, but you've said the downtown clown. I know we can do the same answers, but I'm going to go with the with uh the whammy from i thought you were gonna do whammy so i did clown oh no oh okay and i bought you these beautiful combs oh no the the thing with the chain i sold my chain oh yeah that's the one that's the thing, well, tell you what, if either of us gets it, we split half a point each. Done.

Beautiful. Okay, so you're both going for half. Unless it's me, in which case I'm taking that one point. That's okay. Fair enough. Yep. You're taking half. You're both having a half crack.

The downtown clown and the big whammy from Miami. All right. Well, let's go through the answers. The Thunder Dog. Fantastic nickname. That was Cass. Oh. You can take that if you the answers. The Thunder Dog. Fantastic nickname. That was Cass. Oh. You can take that if you ever want.

Okay, thanks. Nick the Thunder Dog Mason. That is good. That's actually quite good. I like that a lot. Cass, then you can have Mason's one. Professor S. Oh.

Cass Professor S. Page. It's hard to say it with the S and then not smudging into the last name. Page. It's a basketball the last name. Page. It's a basketball player with Dr. J. I liked it. Julius Irving was Dr. J. It's a little bit of Professor X as well.

Yeah. There's a bit going on there. I liked it. But nobody bits, so it's fine. We love an educated kid. The downtown clown. That was me. That was the hand.

Exactly as Pat suggested it was. I'm begging you to reconsider. But it's so funny. This will be, once you've, you know, done like 20 episodes of these, Matt, it'll be a fascinating insight into your psyche as well, I think. Yeah, yeah. Somebody will put together a supercut of you going, maybe think of a different answer.

I don't know. Maybe. I don't know. The big whammy from Miami was also me. The correct answer was Mr. Mean. Oh, that's good. It's a good one. Why was he so mean?

Why did they call him that? Well, that's the interesting thing because it sounds like he wasn't, he was a nice guy. Well, I always knew him as a nice guy. That's why I would never consider calling him that. Yeah, that's true. He was very miserly on the court a great rebounder very good defensively so they just said he was he was a mean player in the way that he really

attacked the ball oh so he never passed to anybody else kind of thing no he never really scored he did i don't think he got the ball that much he would rebound and pass it off and then he had a low scoring average i call him mr lazy yeah to me. It's very hot potato. Yeah. It sounds like he's just doing the least amount of work with a lot of flair. Everyone's like, whoa, he's really doing his bit. No, he's just going when he does it and people think he's doing a great job.

Oh, my God, he passed it under his leg to the other guy. Oh, wow. He's smoking a cigarette on the other side of the court. All right, quick score update. Mason won, Casson won, the house on six. Still number one. You're still number one. And, of course, I know some people are like,

I don't want the house to win at home. Of course you don't. The house is evil. The house is a bad person. But there's a game within a game here because Mesa and Cass are level and whoever comes out first as the guest contestants that's still something you know that's really something to strive for that's something to hang your hat on I think Matt's reaching for a consolation prize in his wallet he's just opening up his wallet

he's opening up the place where he keeps the large bills good for you Matt I'm so excited for this oh thank you yeah uh so question number five is up next and this comes from Linda Moulton from Gainesville in Florida. Oh, gorgeous. Maybe Linda could be the big whammy from Miami. Yeah, that's the home of... Furniture store? No, I'll

think of... Tom Petty. Oh, Gainesville. Really? Yeah. There you go. What was his nickname? He would have had some cool nickname, wouldn't he? Tom Petty. Yeah. The pettiest man on the course. All right. So here is Linda's question.

Jonathan Cholonian of St. Helena currently holds the Guinness World Record for what? Jonathan Cholonian of St. Helena. Forget his surname. Jonathan of St. Helena currently holds the Guinness World Record for what? Where's St. Helena? Is this the one in Melbourne, Australia? Or America? No.

It's an island. It's a beautiful island from what I saw in the picture. Oh. Let me have a freaking look here. It's an island. Yes. In the South Atlantic Ocean. It's a British overseas territory. One that I'm sure

they fairly and squarely found. Oh, no one was there. Looks like it. Yeah. Sort of in between Africa and South Africa, I guess. Is that what the Atlantic Ocean, is that what that is? Couldn't, I've never been to the Atlantic Ocean. Oh, you simply must. Oh, really? I hear it's wet this time of year. Oh, it's super wet. It's sweat. While you're writing your answers, though, even though Cass has already written hers, here's some more information.

Cass, you can hear this directly. I can hear this completely with all of my attention. This is about Larry Smith, a.k.a. Mr. Mean. According to Eli, the question writer, Larry Smith played 13 seasons in the NBA and he never made a single three-point shot. They're tricky though, aren't you? Yeah.

It's ages away. I found this great article in the LA Times from 1991 when he was sort of a veteran of the game. And I loved it. I'll read the first two paragraphs anyway. Mr. Mean means business. He has one mission in life. He tracks down rebounds.

Mr. Mean goes after a basketball the way a Patriot missile goes after a scud. He senses it. He's very patriotic. He sights it. He nails it. Nothing deters Mr. Mean. He is one mean Houston rocket. His real name is Larry Smith, but there's a lot of that going around.

What? I think I'm just saying it's a common name. there's a lot of that going around. While the nickname's- What? I think I'm just saying it's a common name. But what a funny way to say it. There's a lot of that. There's a lot of that going around. Like it's a disease. Oh, you got the Matt Stewart's?

He sounds like common, a scum, but better than that for you. He does one job fine. While the nickname sounds like something that belongs in WrestleMania, it works. This way, this Larry Smith won't be mistaken for any other Larry Smith out there, which is proper because Mr. Mean is somebody the public should know. And then it goes on to say that a lot of the people in the public

don't know him. Yeah, this is a weird bio. That was from the website? No, this was like a profile piece in the LA Times about him. They were like, okay, this guy, you probably don't know him yeah this is a weird bio that was from the website that was no this was like a like a profile piece in the la times about him they were like okay this guy you probably don't know him might maybe do and his name is mr mean and he's not mean but it that watch the game it works the name does work for him he's pretty good and his real name is larry smith there's a lot of that don't worry about it mr me it goes on that, like, he could check into any motel in any other city anonymously and it would be fine.

But he's got quite a fan base at his home court. So if he went to a motel in his hometown, it wouldn't hit people and be like, oh, are you Mr. Me? It's Mr. Me. This had a room for one Mr. Me first name. If something happened at home, why are you checking into a hotel and not your own house? Yeah, don't they usually set you up in a hotel? I think your coaches probably would.

I mean, I'm sure they've got rules around your sleeping quality, right? Are you doing all your sleep problems at home? Oh, wow, mean. This guy's mean. Can you see that mean look he gave me? Oh, he looked unhappy. It's probably because of the meanness. Yeah, it's probably because of the meanness.

My questions are normal. All right. Answers are in. Here is question five. Jonathan of St. Helena currently holds the Guinness World Record for what? He's the world's oldest tortoise. He has the longest consecutive losing streak in the New York State Lottery. He has the most amount of crabs caught by hand in one hour he has the largest collection of

bottle caps or he rode a pig that was riding a donkey that was riding a horse the biggest train of animals riding animals ever recorded wow yeah what was his name again uh jonathan so he could be a tortoise yeah a tortoise name it really does seem be a tortoise. That feels like a tortoise name. It really does seem like a tortoise name. He had a last name as well, didn't he? What was his last name? Chilonian. That seems less like a tortoise name. As soon as we got to name number two,

my belief in tortoise theory was dipping. I'm going to be real. Look, to be honest. He sounds like a tortoise who hangs out in a New York neighbourhood. He's like, hey. I'll give you this. The Chilonian part was written by Linda, the question writer, but in every article about him it did not give a surname.

It was only ever Jonathan. Interesting. So she's done her own research then. Yeah. Or just had a stab. What a wild guess. Or just been like, this tortoise looks like a Cholonian. Yeah.

Can we get those answers again, please? World's oldest tortoise. Yep. Longest consecutive losing streak in the New York State Lottery. Doing it, obviously, you know, phoning it in from St. Helena. Most amount of crabs caught by hand in an hour. Largest collection of bottle caps. Or he rode a pig that was riding a donkey that was riding a horse,

which is the biggest chain of animals riding animals ever recorded. Oh. That one is crazy enough to be true. Yeah. But also it feels like one of those animals would die. They wouldn't publicise that probably. They wouldn't publicise it, but would they still record it?

Yes. Can we get the, hang on, so it's he's riding a pig, riding a donkey, riding a horse. I don't think a donkey could ride a horse. How long do they have to ride it, I wonder? Oh, yeah, there's always a rule. But if it's like a foot, I guess, all right, I guess technically you could stack them.

Yeah, but. They could just stumble across a line. I don't think that would count as riding something. Yeah. I was seeing there was some records for like hula hooping and hand standing and stuff, and the physical feet ones with the body tend to be like you have to hold it for three seconds or something.

Okay. And then you're good and it counts. Right. And I'm like, that's nothing. Long three seconds. I started watching some of those records. So I think we are back to Nick. Yes. Nick. Great portmanteau, Matt. Congratulations. Canick. Best one yet, yeah to Canick. Yes.

Nick. Great portmanteau, Matt. Congratulations. Canick. Best one yet, yeah. Canicky. Yes. One of my favourite characters from Grease 1 or 2.

Probably 1. They make it into 2? Oh. They all got killed. Didn't they all? They died and went to heaven at the end of the first one. I'm leaning towards Jonathan the Tortoise. I think that's it.

But, okay, Jonathan the Tortoise. I don't think it's the lottery one because it's very New York State. Yeah. It's a long way away, I think. That's probably why he kept losing, though. Yeah, mate. He kept putting it in. They kept being like, we'll take your money.

It's from Citizens. So you've got tortoise, lottery, crabs, bottle caps, or that sort of tad ducken of a ride. Two collectings. That's interesting. Okay. Pig doh horse. I think that is what you would have called it.

I wrote a pig doh horse. I'm going to say the tortoise. Tortoise or Mace? How about you, Cass? Or to ducken. To ducken. You go with the to ducken. If this is true, we've got to see a photo, I think,

or a video or something. I don't think it's possible, but that's so silly. It's so silly. You've got to talk me through this strategy. It's not possible. It can't possibly be the right answer. I'll lock it in. There's so many beautiful things in the world that I know not to be possible

now that I can't wait to be proven wrong about in my life. What a beautiful world that I live in. We see the video and it's them all just tumbling off a cliff. They make the world record and then they just all and they make a delicious feed okay maybe i'll go bottle caps bottle caps i'll go bottle caps all right here are the answers for the jonathan world record uh riding a pig that was riding a donkey that was riding a horse that was the house that's crazy you the house right there did you write that or did the... No, I wrote that. Okay, well.

Well, I try to write one that's so ridiculous that is maybe a bit funny but no one will guess. And I'm funny and hard to find that. Every time I do one of those, people are guessing it. The world's magical. The world's magical. We don't know what the limits of things are. Take a walk.

Take a walk down bloody the unnamed street where we're on and you'll see some magic. Do you know what? You'll see some graffiti in some bins and that's actually magical. It is actually magical. The thing that really did throw me, because I imagined them slotting onto each other's backs with the legs hanging over the side.

Yeah, right. I don't think that would count as riding. Guinness is really specific. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. That'd be more stacking. Yeah.

That'd be a little saddle for all of them. Yeah, that would mean it would sort of... Prop them up. If they're sort of riding like a human would ride a horse and the pig is sort of sitting up, then the... It's a little Fibonacci swirl. Everybody would be swirling and he'd have his head grazing on the ground, wouldn't he?

And to get them all on, they've got one of those prize claws like you see in a supermarket and it's just a guy going back and forth and the man keeps dropping off the claw. Their claw, they never got a strong enough grip, them claws. I think that's on purpose. You are saying what? It's rigged? No, you're right.

Sorry, there's magic in the world. You could win them. I'd love for any listeners who can do drawings to maybe draw Maceo and Cass riding a pig riding a horse. Riding a donkey riding a horse. Sorry, apologies. I'd love to see that. I'd love to see that too.

Because I guess I can't ever in real life. What are we doing? Okay, wait, no, what are we doing? We're still going through the answers. Yeah, we just need to know what's right. I'm losing it. So, yeah, the pig riding the horse, that was the house. Most amount of crabs caught by one hand in an hour, that was Cass.

A beautiful and believable answer. Have you ever done that before? No. Caught a crab by hand? Yeah. No. Fun? It's fun because it's a bit scary.

I've eaten a crab by mouth. Oh. You have to shine it because they come out in the dusk so you got to shine a torch into the water and they're sort of swimming and when you you have to go in and pick them up from the back okay so they won't claw you but if you miss they chase you and they go snappy and then you have to run out of the water so you have to get deep enough to find a crab and then you have to be fast enough to catch the crab. I don't know if I was successful, but it was very fun. Did you get nipped by the crab?

I didn't get nipped, so I think I still came away from that being like, yay, I did it. So I can't remember if I caught one, but we did eat well. So crabs walk sideways. Do they swim forwards? Nope, they swim sideways, and they're really fast. Really? They can swim in, what are they called? Round. Fibonacci circles. They can swim like in angle, like what are they called?

Round. Fibonacci circle. They can swim in Fibonacci circle. So they see, they know what's happened because you've missed and then they just see a lot of feet stomping and splashing going. I was just trying to eat. You don't hurt me a little bit. That wouldn't be fair.

The longest consecutive losing streak. That was the house. The largest collection of bottle caps. That was Meso. One point for Meso. And he is the world's oldest tortoise. That's double. Yes.

I knew there was a Jonathan tortoise. For Meso. Oh, you'd heard of him. It feels, I've definitely heard of an old tortoise named Jonathan. But I mean, but also Jonathan is a very old name. So I'm like maybe all of the old tortoises are called Jonathan. Like Jonathan, I guess. And his surname, Chilonian, I believe.

There's no Beyonce's the tortoise. He's a bit too young. I think Chilonian is like the umbrella name for tortoises and terrapins and turtles. So I think that's why Linda chucked in his surname. But I realised once I'd said it, I'm like, that's a bomb steer. But I think I got out of it quite well. Yeah, nobody noticed. Don't worry about it.

All right. So that's double points to Mesa. Quick score check. We've got Cass on one point, Mesa on three, and the house still in front on six points. Ooh. But we've still got two questions to go. Four points left up for grabs.

Question six comes from Eva Redman of Tasmania. The question is, which of these is a real species of fish? So basically you just need to write a fake fish name. While you're writing those answers. Do we get a selection? Oh, okay. You give the selection. Sorry, I got fish up in there.

So while you're doing that, here's some more information on Jonathan. According to the article on the Guinness website, which was written earlier this year, Jonathan is the world's oldest living land animal and has earned another Guinness World Records title. Celebrating his 190th birthday this year, Jonathan is now the oldest tortoise ever on record. Jonathan's-

Because there's undocumented tortoises. But Jonathan's age is just an estimation based on the fact that he was fully mature and hence at least 50 years old when he arrived in St. Helena from the Seychelles in 1882. In all likelihood, he's even older than we think. So age is just a number is what they're saying. That's their official statement. He lives in the Seychelles. He probably doesn't pay any tax.

He's probably rich. He's had some work done. Who knows how old this guy is. As the world around him evolved and advanced, Jonathan has remained the same, according to the article. To this day, his main interests are sleeping, eating, and mating. 190. Bloody hell.

According to his vet, Jonathan enjoys the sun, but on very hot days takes to the shade. On mild days. Sure. Some great insights. Don't be a vet. Don't do that. On mild days, he will sunbathe.

His long neck and legs stretch fully out of his shell to absorb heat and transfer it to his core. That's very cute. I've never imagined a tortoise with its legs directly out. Yeah. This animal displays all the very basic functions of a life form. It eats, it sleeps, it mates, and it stays out of the sun when it's hot. But sometimes it goes into the sun.

Sometimes he flies directly into the sun. All right. Your answers are all in. And the question is, which of these are real species of fish? I'm ready. Are you ready? I'm ready now. Okay, here are your answers. The rainbow fin squirter, baggy boys, squiggly Johnsons,

the splendid grain, or boop boops. Sorry, boops boops. Boops. Sorry, Boops Boops. Boops Boops. Boops Boops. See, having listened to some previous episodes of this podcast, whenever it's like name a species of anything, there's nothing that is off limits. Yeah.

The most ridiculous, because it's just slightly unhinged people who are out in the field who get the chance. They've just discovered something and they're so happy to have found a new thing. They're like, oh, I don't know. This is a spotty tit. Spotty tit, that's almost definitely something, I reckon. All right, so, yeah, the options are one of these are real kind of fish, rainbow fin squirter, bag boys squiggly johnson's splendid

grain boops boops so the baggy boy it would be called or the or this what was the third one uh squiggly johnson the squiggly johnson okay i want all of them as pets uh last two what were the last two again sir uh the splendid grain or boops boops So like the Boops Boop. Yeah. Is that all one word? No, it's two words. It's just the same word twice, Boops Boops. Okay. Huh. Rainbow Finn Squirter, Baggy Boys, Squiggly Johnsons,

Splendid Grain, Boops Boops. Honestly, only one of these sounds vaguely like a fish, but it makes it very tricky to know. I love Baggy Boys. Yeah, I love Squiggly Johnson. But Boops Boops. That doesn't sound like anything. So I'm leaning towards what if I don't say that one,

but it's Boops Boops. Maybe it's from Thailand or something. I think, Cassie, I think you're going first. So you're going to take the bullet on this one. Talk us through your thought process here. I love the Rainbow Finn squirter. Baggy boys is pretty special, but I reckon you could call, you could call so many things a baggy boy.

It's a baggy. Yeah, like any jellyfish, those are baggy boys. I reckon I can just take baggy boys with me into my life. The rainbow Finn squirter, I need to know about. Fantastic. All right, I'll lock that in. I'm going to go with boops boops. I love boops boops for me, though.

Maybe they're not all in English. Like not all fish. Not all names are in English. That's correct. That's totally true. It just made me think. We didn't really talk about it before, but one of the explanations for colossal clawed was that it could be a jellyfish.

Oh, yeah. No, not at all. How could it be a jellyfish? Maybe it be a jellyfish. Oh, yeah. No, not at all. How could it be a jellyfish? Maybe it's a jellyfish that ate a snake. Or a really long jellyfish. Like the head bit was long. Like maybe it went through a pipe a bit and came out squished. Or you're drunk when you see it.

And it's a bit of wood. Yeah, what they don't mention is that little bit of the sea is like it's the Gold Coast. Yeah. And it always happens at schoolies week. I don't know. That's so weird. There's a gas pipeline.

Yeah, that's right. All right, here are the answers. Baggy Boys, that was written by the Howl. Squiggly Johnsons, also by the Howl. The Splendid Grain, that was written by Cass. I love the sound of that. Is grain a kind of fish? No.

I was thinking about how people name birds and it'll be like the spotted tit. And I was like, it can be a Splendid Grain. Because there was grain there and they're like, Splendid Grain. It's in grain. Yeah. It looks like this fish has scales and the scales look like the counts. So one of you is correct, that means. But it's not Cass because the random spin squared was Mace.

So boops, boops is the real member of the fish. Oh, my God. That's back-to-back double points for Mace. You've done it. Flying back into contention here. I'll tell you how I knew that one. I don't know many things, but I put a the and Cass put a the and none of the others were the.

So I'm like, it's got to be one without a the. Oh, that's clever. So you say three and you're like, one of us others were the oh so i'm like it's got to be one without a the oh that's clever so you say three and you're like one of them one of us has done the three yeah you two have done the two oh well done god you that's a good tip for me for writing it for the future as well you're welcome just quickly editing out the any differentiating features and the other thing is our your two were singular and the other three were plural. So yours were those. Yeah. Yeah, that's good.

I should have fixed that. I should have fixed that. Good tip. Hey, we're still learning. We're laughing. We're laughing. This is great. Hey, and, you know, we're talking about how, oh, what an oversight.

It didn't work on me. Oh, yeah. It didn't work on me. And, you know, once you've done 10, 15 of these, you can release them to the public. You know, once you've sorted the system. Yeah, yeah. These are all still going to the bin, of course. And, you know, once you've done 10, 15 of these, you can release them to the public, you know, once you've sorted the system. Yeah, yeah. These are all still going in the bin, of course.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, this isn't for the public consumption. So, quick score update. Cass on one point, Mesa on five point. Only five points. The five point. The five point. I'm sorry, correct.

But the house still maintaining a slender lead on six points. Going to the last round. We can't lose points in the last round, can we? You've got to do it. Whenever there's a quiz, that's my downfall. It's like you can lose points in the last round and I'm just like. No, you can only gain points. So just like every other round, two points up for grabs, Maceo.

So if you do the same again, you win the day. I won't, though. I just want to be clear I won't do that. Okay. Oh, I get it. Nice. I the day. I won't, though. I just want to be clear I won't do that. Okay. Oh, I get it. Nice. I get it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. For the listeners, Mace is winking. I didn't do even one wink. He's doing multiple winks. Oh, my God. It's blinking. I'm starting to wonder, is it a twitch, a double eye twitch? You put pepper in my eyes, Matt. I'm blinking.

Are you ready for the final question? Yes. We always finish with a film synopsis. This one comes from Liz LaFever in Texas. Oh, my God, amazing names today. Thank you, mums. I reckon we could just do a podcast one day where you collect people's names and we go, oh, my God.

That one's good. That's a good name. I'm up for that. That sounds like a great idea. All right, so Liz's question is, what is the synopsis of 1993's Fire in the Sky? What is the synopsis of 1993's Fire in the Sky? And this is a film.

Okay. I think I made that clear, did I not? A movie. A movie, if you will. No, no, I think this one's cinema. Sorry. I think this one's probably more film than movie. While you're writing those answers,

here's a little bit more information on Boop's Boops. Unfortunately, the most fascinating thing about it is its name. The species is found off the coast of Europe, Africa, the Ashauresh. I had to look up the pronunciation. I'm sure that's all right. It looks like it says the Azores, but the pronunciation I looked up said Azores.

Anyway, and the Canary Islands from Norway to Angola and in the Mediterranean and Black Seas. Boops Boops, commonly called the Bogue, is a species of seabrim native to the eastern Atlantic. Its common name in most languages refers to its large eyes. I think it's like an old word for cow eyes or something. So it's just like, and its eyes don't even look that big, to be honest.

I've seen bigger eyes on a fish. You know, I don't want to make a big deal out of it. Well, let's talk about eye ratio. What's the ratio of this eye? There you go. That's a boops boops. Oh, no, that's pretty big. That looks like half of its face.

Yeah, that's pretty big. Imagine if our eyes were half of our face yeah that's pretty imagine if our eyes were half of our face that's a good point boop boop indeed i take it i take it right back yeah so apparently it's uh comes from the ancient greek for cow eye boops boops all right here is the final question all right all right at this point anyone can win apart from cast apart from cast oh my goodness you gotta do it for us okay so you gotta carry. I mean, it's too late now. I've already put my answer in. No. So the final question is, what is the synopsis of the 1993 film Fire in the Sky? Here are your options. A logger named Travis is seemingly abducted by a flying saucer while at work. The police don't believe this version of events and accuse his co-workers

of murder until five days later when Travis returns. A young convict joins a firefighting program looking for redemption and a shortened prison sentence. He and other inmates work alongside elite firefighters to extinguish massive blazes and blazes across the region. Massive blazes and blazes across the region. God, these people are wearing such massive blazes. You've got to extinguish them. A superhuman firefighter force is formed to deal with supernatural fire incidents. When they discover a government agency is behind the spate of fires, they no longer fight the fires and now fight the power.

I want that one too. and now fight the power. Oh, I want that one. Oh. Oh. An unexplained phenomenon across the horizon at night leads a small town couple to suspect extraterrestrial visitors. Well, finally, Harry Bonclap moves his family to an army base after becoming a pilot.

After he is fired for treason, it is up to his two children, Amy and Joe, to destroy the general's headquarters so that they can stay. Harry Bonklapp, what a fantastic name. Get him on the show. That's a good name to be real or to be made up as well. Like who's got Harry Bonklapp in the chamber is my question. Yeah, yeah, that's right. Who's cocking their gun and about to fire off a Harry Bonklapp.

Yeah, you're either very familiar with that movie or you've made it up. Yes. Well, yeah, that's right. Who's cocking their gun and about to fire off a Harry Bonklapp. Yeah, you're either very familiar with that movie or you've made it up. Yes. Well, yeah. Those are the two options. Yeah. I mean, the script writer had a lot of time to come up with a name. That's very true, yeah. Harry Bonklapp.

No, that seems rude. No, let's slightly tidy that up a little bit. No, that's actually not too far. No. Because these are pretty long. You probably need them. If you could. Just another.

So you've got a logger named Travis, seemingly abducted while at work. The loggers get accused, the other loggers, from his murder until he returns five days later. A young convict joins a firefighting program to lessen his prison sentence. Superhuman firefighter force deals with supernatural fire incidents. Eventually they start fighting the power, though. Oh, yeah. An unexplained phenomenon across the horizon at night leads a small town couple to suspect extraterrestrial visitors.

Or Harry Bonclap moves his family to an army base after becoming a pilot. God. He's fired for treason and his two children have to save the day. Who's going first? or Harry Bonclap moves his family to an army base after becoming a pilot. God. He's fired for treason, then his two children have to save the day. Who's gone first? You've each gone first three times. Yeah. You can take this one.

Or if you want me to take this one, you've got to bring it home for us. What do you want me to do? What's your strategy? Do you want to hear Cass's logic first? Yes. Okay. One of those is much shorter than the other ones. Yes.

So that's either made up or not the made up one. Okay, that's good. Okay, all right. Okay, yeah. Yep. I mean, it also sounds like the most realistic one when someone's writing a movie synopsis. Yeah, right. And there's a fire in the sky.

They think that's the UFO. Because the more words you put in it, the more likely it is you'll slip up. Like I'd be like, oh, a family lives in the city and they have to leave their country home to what? No, you said it was in the city. I can't take it back now. So the one you were talking about, Cass, is an unexplained phenomenon across the horizon at night,

leads a small town couple to suspect extraterrestrial visitors. Yeah, that's worded really well. It sounds like the real one, but then why, if that's the real one, would you make that one short and the other ones are long? Yeah, okay. Yeah, so these are things I'm trying to feed you. I can guess second if you want. I don't mind.

If you want to know from looking at them, that one is two and a half lines on my page and the other ones are three and a half lines. Okay, it's not actually that much difference. I'm torn between Harry Bomb Clump. Bomb Clap, yep. Bomb Clump. And the UFO Flying Saucer.

Did it say UFO Flying Saucer? Oh, the adopted Timberman? Travis. See, I like the specifics of the names. Oh, yes, that's right. But there are two of them. There are. One with surname, one without Oh, yes, that's right. But there are two of them. There are. One with surname, one without, though.

And it's 1993. Yeah. So Claude, obviously, is way out of date by this point. I am going to put all, I'm going to push all my marbles in. I'm going to say the first one. Going with the logger name Travis locked in for Meso. Cass, what are you going to do here? If you can figure out which one Meso's is without,

obviously, if you can guess, then you can give him an extra point here right when you're in the game but if you pick if you pick the house answer oh i've lost the game okay but if you guess the right answer then it's a draw so really and that's assuming that my suit gets the right one oh yeah true okay okay there's a few moving parts it is i have no skin in the game and yet my neck's out. Okay, I reckon. Now, Macy did make a good point about how you would prefer not to ride a long one, and I have found the shortest one and it does sound good. So there's Timberman.

Timberman, yep. That's the first one. Yep. Then there's Young Convict. Young Convict, good. Then you've got Superhuman Firefighter Force. Then you've got the Unexplained Phenomenon, the shorter one. And then Harry Bonclap moving his family.

I can't say and I can't look. Okay. I reckon I'm going to go with the Supernatural Firefighters. Supernatural Firefighters. Locking it in. Lock it in. Lock it in. I can't look.

I can't look. Are you doing that guessing what you think Mesa's is? I think that's what Mesa would have picked. So what do you think the real one is then? I reckon the real one's a shorter one. Well, it's up to you which one you choose. No, I'm picking. I want to.

Stop looking at me. I don't want the house to win. I don't want the house to win. I'm going to go Supernatural Firefighters, and I'm really hoping I'm judging well. I'm it in okay i'm locking it in here is the final questions answers fire in the sky harry bonklapp this is fantastic work by cass i loved harry bonklapp yeah man i think both times i read it out i was right on the edge of breaking har Harry Bonk, I have a fake name, by the way. I was like, it's the 90s.

There's a family and the dad has a name. A young convict joins a firefighting program trying to shorten his prison sentence. That was written by the house. Very nice. I think specifically Liz LaFever wrote that one. Oh, another great name. I forgot about Liz. Very believable one. I thought it was, I'm like. Oh, another great name. I forgot about Liz. Very believable one. Okay.

Then let's just say this. A logger named Travis was the correct answer. So Mesa is now level with the house. So it really comes down to what Cass did here. No. And the final two, one is the house and one is Mesa's answer. Uh-huh. Unfortunately for Mesa, Cass, you picked the house's option.

No. The superhuman firefighter force. Maiso's was the unexplained phenomenon across the horizon. You had them switched around. No. The one you thought was real. I was like, it's so good. It must be that one.

Oh. So, geez, that went right down the wire, though. Fantastic stuff. Oh, so does that mean the house won? That means final score check. Cass on one point, Mason on six, but the house sneaks home on seven points. Oh, no! Brutal.

I'm right in the middle. I don't know how to feel. I was either going to win or lose. Oh, tricky. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't guess. It's okay. Honestly, Cass.

It does sound a lot like something I would make up. But here's the thing, I didn't guess. It's okay. Honestly, Cass. It does sound a lot like something I would make up. But here's the thing, I wouldn't make it up for 1993. Because movies in 1993, boring. When did movies get good, in your opinion? 2008 to 2009. Okay, so there were some stinkers in there still?

Yes. Oh, okay, good. Are you familiar with the Saturn Awards? Are they a sci-fi award? Academy of Science Fiction, Fantasy and Horror Films. The film was nominated for four Saturn Awards, Best Science Fiction Film, Best Writing, Best Music and for one of the actors, Best Actor. Oh, DB Sweeney? Is it a movie with DB Sweeney in it?

It is with DB Sweeney. There we go, okay. I think it's a movie I started once and I stopped watching because it was too old. Oh, no kidding. Yeah. Yeah. Amazing. All right, where can people find you two if they wanted to?

I assume they would if they do. Cass, please. You can find me at CassCassPage on any of the socials. I've just launched a new podcast with Zoe B and Nina Oyama called Being Hot Is Hard, which is very fun. It's about being hot. It's about silly things we do to ourselves. It's fun. It's silly.

Come have a listen. You're welcome in. I'm also on D&D for Nerds and Shut Up a Second. So listen to all of them. Make your week me. You've been on a few episodes of Shut Up a Second, Matt. I have, yeah. I think there might be one coming out at some point soon maybe.

Yeah, it might have already come out actually. I feel like we talked a lot about sack taps. Oh, yeah. I think the sack tap one's out at some point soon, maybe. Yeah, it might have already come out, actually. I feel like we talked a lot about Sack Taps. Oh, yeah. I think the Sack Tap one's out. It's good. That wasn't a topic, but I think we talked about it more than a topic. No, we just moved on to it, yeah. No, the Sack Tap one has been released. See if you can find it.

Yeah, see which topic might lead us to Sack Taps. If you search, shout out for Sack and Matt Stewart, look for the Sack Tappiest item you can find. How about you, Maceo? I've got a podcast called The Weekly Planet where we talk about movies and comic books and TV shows with a superhero kind of blockbuster-y kind of lean towards them.

It's a bit of fun. Is that the kind of film you'd review, the superhuman firefighter force? I guess we'd have to, sure. We wouldn't want to. We'd be like, I know exactly what kind of movie this is going to be without. I can just look at the poster. I know exactly what score I would give this movie. The best movie ever.

That was a co-write with me and Liz Lefevre. I think it could win Saturn Awards. I think so, yeah. Once we get it made. I think that could be on the Sci-Fi Channel. Yeah. Do you think it could? Yeah.

For real? Sci-Fi Channel's still kicking? Not in Australia, I don't think. What do they play? Bad stuff. Bad movies. All before 90, oh, sorry, all before 2008? Yes, exactly, yeah.

You can catch this podcast live today, I believe, on the day of release, the 17th of October at the Retreat Hotel. It's a free show. I don't know why or how, but Joel Ducha from Sands Pants has organised it and apparently I get paid even though you don't have to pay to get in. What a sweet deal. Yeah. And if there's a lot of people there, you get paid more.

Oh, so everyone should definitely come. Yeah, everyone should absolutely come. I think it would be more fun anyway if you do come. And I'll also be in Perth week after next, October 28th, 29th, at the Oasis Comedy Club. I'm going to do this show live in the afternoon and I'm headlining the comedy room there. And then me and Dave Warner are going to the UK in November.

We're doing this podcast in a few different cities. We're doing his book check podcast as well. Details for all this stuff can be found probably via a link in the show notes, I reckon. Hey, Matt, just between you and us, you can cut this out. Does Dave have a second family in the UK? Yes, he has a secret second family. That's why it keeps going over there. Yeah, Matt, just between you and us, you can cut this out. Does Dave have a second family in the UK? Yes, he has a secret second family. That's why it keeps going over there.

Yeah, okay, cool. Is it, again, just between the two of us, you can cut this out. Is he married to Pi? Yes, he is married to Pi. I suspected it. I suspected it. That's his not-so-secret third family. Yeah.

It's a Pi family. One of the weird things was that- Mrs. Mac. His first two trips to Europe this year was with his wife. So I don't know. He was really cutting it fine. Yeah, living on the edge. His not secret wife.

Yeah. But to go over to visit his secret wife. Happy secret wife, happy secret life. That's what they say, isn't it? That is the saying, yep. Thanks so much for listening, everyone. We're still a brand new show, basically. So if you like it, why don't you get the word out there?

Give us a five-star review if you want. Tell your friends if you think they you like it Why don't you get the word out there Give us a five star review if you want Tell your friends if you think they might like it Or you know either way And thanks for joining us anyway Cheers Cask Cheers Mesa Cheers Cheers Matt

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