Will & Rusty's Playdate - my dad’s in a frat???

Episode Date: September 2, 2026

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all right are we going we are play date i am so happy to be back with my boys that is a crazy water bottle and you're doing crazy things with it birds of a feather flock together brother get your chest wet that sounds like a smidge on my your dad trying to motivate you in the morning get your chest all right boys get up let's get up and get our chest wet yeah it's like that's what my dad would say every morning and then i'd say dad how'd you get in the house mom said you're not supposed to be here actually fun fact my dad started college today what i know my dad uh fully has a college degree but in apparently in the state of maine they have some program if you're like 65 and over right you can you can go to baits go to like a state you can

take like two or three classes a semester i think it's probably designed for like adults who didn't go to college to have a chance to like right get the education they always wanted my dad was just like retired i'm gonna go take some i got nothing he's taking like history and drawing i could learn yeah he's your history of drawing we were saying he just got to a racer he did boat he did the but yeah he's taking a drawing class with like like with kids This episode is brought to you by Bear Bells. Rusty, show me your Bear Bells.

There was another thing that you mentioned that he was taking advantage of. Not taking advantage of in a bad way. Just like... Yeah. That there are these programs that I think are not meant for, like, affluent dads. Totally, but they are... But there's no rule that says you can't. I would...

Yeah, I mean, I'm trying to figure out, like, who else is in these programs, honestly. It's just all... Does he... He's going to join a frat? Yeah, I think he's rushing. are you worried for the nude art section it's a good question that's a good question actually fun fact my dad he's he always has drawn like his whole life and one he lived in atlanta by himself for a while when he was like he had a job in atlanta so he would go every monday and fly

back on thursdays to charleston and stuff so he's there by himself a lot and i went and visited him once i found his sketchbook and he had like they were like ladies with boobs in it nice i mean it wasn't that wasn't like the it wasn't like a big book of ladies with boobs but it was like it was like there was it was mixed in with the other drawings there was boobs in it the big book of nude women the big book of nude women this is kind of what i'm working on down here it was crazy i have a question about this yeah and i don't i want this to come out he's a good artist too i will say that that's important you can't be if it was like crude like if you could barely tell it was shaft yeah no he didn't do shafts mostly just i mean this in in i want

this to come out correctly correct and i'm not trying to be funny okay were they were they women that looked like your mom or were they like a completely different because if he was drawing like a completely different body type that i think would be like concerning but if it was just like i miss my wife and he's like from memory drawing your mom did they have the same nipples is your mom did it so did guys are fucking sick people you're sick in the head did they did they look like your moms what do you want me to say no no no no no no i meant like body what like was it like a white a middle-aged white woman the curves match my mom yeah i think that's what i'm asking like if he was drawing like if he was drawing like you know naked like huge women do you realize

the risk we're taking of like i don't think my parents will listen to this episode but if my mom does oh she doesn't know about the book no no no i just mean i think this is a valid question edgar do you think this is a valid question am i way out of line of course i i can't i plead the fifth so it was your mom or was no it wasn't anyone it was just it wasn't the same boobs just say it he was he was drawing bbw here's what another thing to be clear is the b is the second b beautiful or black uh beautiful okay yeah which you know what i think they're synonymous okay i'm really on my heels this morning i i do i feel bad because when i was saying it i did make this gesture okay i wasn't talking about it clarified they weren't like full portraits of

women and they weren't like one boob standalone no they were like they were like kind of like a collage of like shapes and stuff and then they'd have like a dog and then like there'd be like a and then there was a bbl yeah it's a body it was just yeah wait the bbl is booty though i know but but he was in atlanta right he was in atlanta he might have a lot of material he might have been drawn when he saw magic city all the women have like bbls and this dude it's him it's a photo realistic picture of him throwing ones at magic city yeah anyway so did you go down there and go like i think it's time you come back to new england no i was like this is really good but like what the hell he's like that's art all sorts of artists but if an artist paints boobs

it's not weird which i was like that's a good point damn good point that's a good point if you see go to art museum you see a boob painting yeah i mean obviously in your head you're like that's funny but in your if you were talking to someone you would be like that's great art yeah like if you walked into like someone at your work's office and they were sketching boobs you'd be like okay it's a weird gray area yeah okay okay it's it's it's yeah wait so your dad's already an artist taking an artist class so he's not a he's not a trained artist by any means he just like But yet he's gonna be yeah this class. So he's like just inflating his GPA. Yeah, just like learn some new technique It's like when the kid from Mexico takes Spanish classes, yeah

You already know this like I'm just think about like if he just doesn't want to do a homework or something Okay, I don't have to do it he gets put detention it's written up he got an id he has like a oh my god so does he go in person i yeah i think yeah he's yet at uh usm yeah not and he has like a like he has like a it's like your eagle card or like whatever the he has like a does he have a meal plan no that would be hilarious to be at a meal plan your mom's like what are you doing they they missed the opportunity to take the first day of school photo it was yesterday yeah that's so funny oh man he has to join a frat yeah is he gonna join any clubs while he's there uh i don't i don't know probably not join dude we had we uh when i

was uh like when i was like a sophomore there was this old guy like going through the rush process and my friend buckley was like we have to get this guy in our fraternity it'd be hilarious to have like a 50 year old guy yeah and it just he made it through every round because buckley thought it was so funny and then he agreed to join the fraternity like we just didn't think it was gonna get that far yeah and it got to the point where it was like holy fuck if we like if we take this any further this is gonna be like a guy that's around and i don't remember how we resolved it but it was like we cannot have but he was a 50 year old guy that was just getting his degree he was like a student at Rollins yeah and then we also had a 35 year old guy actually joined for

the it was the exact same reason where I think Buckley again was like this would be hilarious if we have a 35 year old guy and he was a I think I told you this he was a war veteran like he came back from Afghanistan came to Rollins whoa and had like seen combat and he joined our fraternity and on like the first meeting everyone like all the new guys like crawl out of the house on their hands and knees like it's just like a funny thing or whatever and he got down and we were like no no absolutely not like you can walk out that's hysterical you served our country i'm thinking about your dad showing up to the house now in like peter millar yeah and being like sorry honey i can't make the dinner we're having a mixer with 85 champagne and shackles respect the crown

this isn't you honey this isn't you it is now it comes back his ass is raw from paddling Oh, okay. He's got one of those, like, I don't know about paddling, so obviously that's not where I want to be. He has one of those jean shorts where, like, the butt is cut out and you can see, like, the fraternity tattoo. He comes home covered in, like, his own piss and vomit, and he's like, it's howl week.

Your dad's going, oh, my God. My dad's going nuts. It's syllabus week right now. Yo, wait, is he, like, has he adopted any, like, college tendencies since this happened? Like, is he? He started yesterday. okay all right so i'll let you know i'm going there next week so i'll find out

okay yeah he's all in vineyard vines yeah he's uh he won't stop saying respect the whale is that what people said you haven't seen this this is like the hot thing it's like whale versus the crown versus what's the crown the crown is peter millar and it'll be like don't wear the whale if you're not ready to die for this shit we were having a good laugh about that i was wearing a johnny o golf shirt and it's just a guy with a surfboard and so i'm saying respect the board but people aren't today you were doing that no when i was in man golfing i got some i got a lot of golfing i did i tell you about my back my back is in like shit like i need to go i think i'm gonna get your woods i lit like kind of similar to tiger woods like i'll hit one and like fall

to my knees really dude phil said i get out of the cart like i this is like my last week on earth wait have you been in like three car accidents with trees no but i'm developed i i under i now understand how the painkiller thing happens where i was like i need painkillers like i think it's my squatty potty i think my squatty potty is too high oh you know i said like my legs are like almost like behind my ears yeah it's just it cannot be it's the only thing that's changed in my legs it seems more like like spine like i think i need to get a doctor out here okay um but i don't even know what kind of doctor works on your back um like i know they're chiropractors but like isn't that kind of like snake snake oil yeah people in like the real medical say that it's

like don't really believe in chiropractors really because yeah because the certification doesn't take as long, and they don't know quite as much about the body. There's a squirtification? What did he say? Certification. Got it. The thing about chiropractors is that it's a more temporary pain release than

long-term. Got it. Really, they just move muscles and bones around, whereas if you go to something like physical therapy, it strengthens those muscles. Got it. And so that way, it doesn't cause as much pain. I don't want anyone moving my bones around. And you should go to physical therapy and strength.

You should have, like, the back of, like, the hunchback of Notre Dame. Just a slab of muscle back there. It's really, it's scaring me. I think I'm just, like, an old guy now. I think it's because you bought the cigars. Did you get a humidifier? Yeah, did you see all those comments? Yeah, everyone was like, your cigars are going to spoil.

If he doesn't get a humidor, I'm like, I just spent all the, my entire cigar budget went to the cigars. I don't have humidor money. Sometimes I was like, at least get humidor packets. I was like, I didn't even know. Surely this guy at the cigar shop should have been like, do you have a humidor? Maybe he thought you were going to smoke them all in a day. What is a humidor?

I think it's got to be something with the humidity in the air. I think if they're in normal air for too long, they spoil, I guess. Humidity-controlled container or room used to keep tobacco products. Oh, yeah, keep some plump. did you see me uh smoking that one on instagram no post a picture me chiefing one on instagram really yeah i missed it i'm sorry dude it was like the viral dump of the year really yeah this is the problem with the cigar industry is that they get suckers like us in right with a couple cubans right yeah no he's in now no i'm in you bought it i'm in yep i'm all in and then

all of a sudden now you're 20k deep in a humiditor and you gotta have a separate room they're twenty thousand dollars that's what i'm saying wait what no no no no surely there's a budget friendly option i'm just saying no you're right they get you it's not like it's not like getting a pack of marb reds where you can just smoke yeah as much as your heart desires and keeping your marble reds in your humid door yeah it's like it's like fucking five below have you guys ever been there it's not five below it's not it's not it's like room temperature it almost never has been yeah no no they get suckers like us or coming in there it's gonna be cold and then you get one minion pillow and it's seven dollars on the receipt when you leave that seems reasonable

seven dollars it's five and below oh it's not five and below and then a couple things i'm gonna be honest i don't know what a five below is i thought you never heard of five below i was going with it It's a stove. What do they sell? Furniture? No, like trinkets. Everything is less than $5. Allegedly.

You go into Five Below thinking it's going to be freezing, and it's almost always room temperature. That's what I'm saying. There was a place in Lancaster that always used to piss me off, and it was called the 99-Cent Ormore Store. I was like, come on. And it said it on the sign. But obviously the or more was like tiny text. Yeah. So I was like.

The 99 cent or more, almost every store. Yeah, it's literally, it's actually worse than a normal store because you know nothing will be less than 99 cents. At a normal store, you could be, you know, maybe you get a 50 cent Twizzler or something. Going into the Dollar General and throwing an absolute tantrum. I'd like to speak to the general. Saluting the Dollar General. there's no trust in the american system anymore talent it's just like ridiculous like i just don't

even feel like i can go to five below anymore yeah and get something for five and below right like how am i supposed to raise kids in this generation maybe it's like five below the nearest race kids how am i supposed to raise kids in this they're so fast um are you sure maybe it's not five dollars below the nearest competitor no because nothing there is like no no it's not i checked wrong incorrect actually it's just like i'm worried i'm gonna like raise a kid and one day he's gonna grow up and he's gonna be like i thought i'm worried he's gonna grow up huh i just feel like he's gonna look at me and think like i thought that i could believe in the american system right and i can't and you raised

me to believe that i could and now i feel like i'm not strong enough to change society right okay you are strong enough to change society i don't know if i am yeah by the time you i was just saying that to be nice i don't know i don't know by the time you have a kid it's gonna be like a thousand and below yeah yeah yeah dude i got this new rc car i saw that you looked cool wait oh was someone posted it on their stories lucas um we built a sick track on the beach on saturday it's like my new corn oh god what it's how i keep my house hot say like basketball oh fast it's like it's my new basketball it's my new basketball it's your new corn like in i think you should porn no what oh what i thought it was like on like you know like online gen z's

now like she's a corn star yeah yeah it's like how they say like unalive oh you should have just said corn emoji then not corn emoji i'm talking i think you should leave there's like a eggplant emoji no she's like the tables are my corn it's how i keep my house it's how i keep my house hot it's like her livelihood oh it's like if i was a farmer okay how much how how many laps do you think you did well like 100 i mean we were doing like time trials it was awesome and uh we're because better the best part is we're building like new features in it so it's like but is it gonna stay down on the beach what do you mean like is the track there like no no we build a new one every time god which is sick and like we figured out we did a tunnel for the first

time this time oh how'd you do a tunnel we just the sand stayed really as long as you dig deep and i mean we made a big pile of sand and then we dug deep enough that so the car would you would lose the car and you'd just be gunning the trigger and then it would pop out the other side what if like the um what if the antenna like the frequency doesn't you go deep enough one day that gets stuck down there that'd be a nightmare i mean it was you could still reach if you needed to because you had to dig the tunnel uh that's true yeah that's true it's never yeah you can never build more than an arm length arm length and then um it was great but i'm gonna bring it to montauk nice so we could play with it this weekend are we staying at the same place i think nice i uh

this is your first time in montauk yeah i mean yeah are you excited uh yeah i mean it's an interesting crowd i don't it's definitely not my scene but i think sometimes it's fun to like be spend a couple days in yeah dip your toe in the water a little bit yeah but i'm excited about what what's interesting about the crowd there it's like super it's like bougie people really yeah yeah you looked at me like maybe that was gonna be like a gotcha are they i thought you were just gonna say that they were like um i don't know something bad about the crowd no they're just they're just uh preppy maxing it's like yeah it's like the richest are they like a vineyard vines are they like no they're like

fucking like see-through pants did you say coochie coochie they all have gucci coochies if you know what i'm saying i've had a few i think it's like a crow it's like kind of a chrome hearts crowd it's like new york it's like wealthy new york people it's like all the wealthy people in new york go there for their vacation okay it's like old orchard beach but the opposite it's kind of the opposite of old orchard beach so is it going to be like you guys press play and then like a bunch of 80 year old rich no no it's like young it's like kids whose parents have a ton of money oh it's like kids whose parents have gucci coochies it's like kids whose parents have like a ton of money and then whatever how much money you're thinking their parents have double

it well how do you know that the parents made the money what if the kids made the money and then to give it to their parents because they're that's true sorry it's parents whose kids made a ton of money dude nepo parent yeah i mean that's like charlie d'amelio's like yeah no actually i heard they were like stupid rich before they even got um well that type though of like or like they didn't like addison's addison ray's dad go like crazy oh yeah a couple weeks ago he what he faked his death a couple weeks ago that's awesome how did he do it he uh i don't know posted on instagram or something i don't i got a video he posted on his own instagram like i died i'm picturing like a joe bluth like he put himself

in a coffin underground wait what did he get away or obviously didn't get away with it how long did he did it go uh like a couple days i think whoa after an obituary like post appeared on his x account no independent confirmation emerged while his instagram was active can we see the post monte lopez from his own twitter monte lopez will be remembered for his larger than life personality his love where did it go his love for family and friends and his ability to connect with people from all walks of life throughout his life he cherished time with those he loved and worked to make a lasting impact through his relationships and experiences he is survived by his children family members and loved ones who will forever cherish the memories they share with

him his legacy will live on through the lives he touched the stories he created and the love he gave the celebration of his life will be announced by the family at an appropriate time 270 000 views 150 likes the first oh that's devastating the first reply is just posted the drakes on his insta so i guess he's been revived oh my god i'm so glad he's okay what was the plan you think do you think he's on drugs yeah i know i think he just really likes attention got it got it you know who be so good he didn't really say much about himself in that it was kind of just like a word yeah i mean it was like an it was like a chat gpt it probably literally was a chat gpt i he probably just typed in like he was so he was sitting on board he's like you know it'd be funny

he's like the chat gpt like i message that made me die anyway nepo parents yeah but anyway no on saturday i mean we do you know like do we even we're going to this we're going for an event on sunday yeah we have like we have to do anything on saturday no we have like dinner friday night and saturday saturday we should do we should go to the beach and build a track angus is gonna be there he's gonna fucking eat this shit up angus is coming yeah we're gonna see him for the first time i haven't seen him in a while yeah since he uh went on that like what was it a christian thing right wellness yeah remember the emily did we talk about that yeah we did yeah what that emily posted like some like liam and when they left to film the movie emily posted like they went on like

a christian trip and all the comments were like do not mock our lord i was like what is their audience like i'm not like whatever don't mock they weren't don't mock the lord but i did not expect the almost friday pod audience to it was it was kind of yeah i didn't were people really really mad like legit they took they had to take the post down and liam had to post an apology like a video apology like a story like sorry binder did that like do you think that we will ever have to do like a sit down like youtube video i think that's like worse than the crime really i think we do what i was about to say something horrible what i was i was i was just watching the interview with uh the kramer obviously his we'll never commit he said it

was like something against jews no he screamed the n-word like 15 times where on stage at the laugh factory from seinfeld you don't know this no like like in like 2005 the guy who plays kramer was on stage at the laugh factory and like had like a fucking mental break and started at a black guy was screaming the n-word over and over and over and over and over and over and over and i watched an interview with him recently where he was just like yeah i canceled myself i just i just went dark he's just like he didn't like he just like totally went dark for like 20 years did he get out of it unscathed no i mean you that's like you can't kind of get out of that like white comedians love saying the n-word back in the day yeah also it's like dude if you had that

that's not like i i had a bad day it's like what the hell was going on in your head who are you but he literally just did nothing for 20 years that's my if we ever do anything bad enough that we would have to post an apology i literally will just stop posting anything yeah move to montana yeah get a job at a monetized youtube apology video you do that andrew will do that while we go off the grid the apology video i think they're sorry it's andrew they fucked up yeah they fucked up um have you ever heard that charlie sheen voicemail where he says the n-word oh god i think i have yeah yeah i mean he does it so smoothly that you're like you've been saying this who did he say it to his white girlfriend wait he was

calling her the n-word what did she what yeah what did she do yeah that was what was he angry about i don't know i think she like didn't show up to dinner or something like that okay well who does braveheart russell mel gibson mel gibson didn't he go on like a jewish tirade when he got pulled over yeah he's like whack i wonder how often that was happening because it it started coming out the second there were camera phones and like everything oh yeah like how fucking horrible back do you think like they were like every movie star was doing that in the 80s and 90s and then like this the first three people got caught when they were like all right we have to stop yeah i don't think they stopped for a while either yeah i don't think they stopped still yeah they're just

don't do it when the camera phones are not yeah yeah morgan wallen yeah what would be like the funniest like if i got pulled over and they're like the body cam footage came out of me going on like a tirade what would be the funniest thing to get where you'd be like oh five below is not five and yeah the cop the cop pulls you over you just start losing your marbles that your minion pillow was seven dollars i just think body cam footage of you and it's like you're doing like field sobriety tests and you pass them all and it's fine but you're rock hard and like the footage comes out and it's like the he's doing the like follow the pen thing and like my eyes and my penis are falling and it's like you sued and got like 10 million dollars but you

like yeah you were you don't even want the money you're like i'll trade it all to not have this footage come out i tell you i got put through a field sobriety test in uh college in cape elizabeth we're home for the summer i was coming home from my shift as a bar back and i got pulled over on shore road in cape elizabeth and was going through a field sobriety test and the amount i could feel my phone buzzing in my pocket every time a car drove but there's only like like every fifth car that passes you in my town is like someone that you know so i'm like seeing cars of kids i went to high school with drive past me like and then my phone would buzz and i was like this is gonna be so bad but obviously i passed which ones did you do we did the like follow my

finger i think he had me like walk in a straight line it wasn't i was worried it was gonna be the alphabet one the backwards one i can't do that yeah but i think that's to like i think they know you can't do it but watching you try and do it you can tell if someone's drunk i think i could do it do it z y x w v u t q no i've no i got the q wrong i think i was right until q though yeah s s r q r q p o n like i think he would see this and be like he's l have you seen the girl doing it four words a at a at a sobriety stuff like just the alphabet and she like it is the saddest can you pull up like girl like field sobriety test alphabet girl f-e-d-c-b-a

whoa let's watch the worst moment of this woman's life my biggest fear is like failing a field sobriety test like sober just because I'm bad at it you know like sometimes I'm not good at like walking in a line

I know that one always looks hard yeah if I get pulled over and then they put me through a field sobriety test and I'm sober I think next time I'll try and fail it Because if they, like, bring you in and they, like, do something wrong, then you could sue. Yeah, and get a ton of money. Did I ever tell you about my lawyer friend who got arrested?

No. He was, um... Those are my favorite videos on Instagram where it's like, lawyer gets, like, lawyer owns cop when he gets pulled over. He always tells us all the time. He's like, if a cop ever arrests you, don't say anything. Be quiet until you get a lawyer, right? He got mistaken for another black guy in, like, his town. Okay.

and they decided to arrest him and he was home alone or whatever what did the other black guy do like they he was a wanted guy yeah he was a wanted guy they show up to my friend's house they arrest him they don't realize he's like a lawyer or whatever take him in everything but he had the ring camera footage from his house of them arresting him and he sent it to us and the whole time he's just yelling all of this shit at the cops saying all this stuff and he's like i know i told you guys not to say anything but in the moment i just i couldn't and i just started blabbing my mouth and i did exactly what you're not supposed to do did he get in trouble he ended up getting released and uh just went home and then he was like i'm gonna go back to the station

and give him peace of my mind and he went back and doing like the complete opposite yeah and then they like didn't let him back in the police station and so he was like i didn't get the chance to do anything i was like can you sue and he's like no wait why not i don't know apparently not apparently you can't just like sue for 10 million like on tiktok oh that sucks you can't on tiktok i know i actually changed my mind if we ever get canceled we're not going to montana we're gonna be the guys that stand outside a police station filming and just like wait for a cop to come out and they're like i'm allowed to do this yeah or you go inside the station sometimes and you can demand they'll like demand to see like records i'm a taxpayer you actually work

for me yeah i'm actually your boss no if i we ever get canceled i'll just be uh i'll go start filming sigma kai at ucla oh my god you know that guy just be filming dude his username changes on i think the last time i checked it was uh i'm allowed to film yes who is this you've seen sigma kai like he's the guy that you remember that when scott and i got filmed on main street though yeah it's the same guy he like goes to ucla outside this like one frat and just films everyone he he hates sigma kai and he knows to his credit no one can spot a sigma kai like this guy yeah if i was standing on the ucla campus i would have no way of figuring out he'll be like that's bryce from sigma kai he's got like the you must have their composite or something yeah

the composite I can't believe you haven't seen this guy he's like and so for a while so Skyler and I were obsessed with this guy and for a while he was like uh no one knew what he looked like like Will was like Will and other people that had been filmed by him were the only people that had seen him because he doesn't post his face he I think he has special needs 100% makes it maybe a little bit less funny but he is just a crazy looking guy and so now on his videos all the comments are pictures of him filming them and uh he's just my favorite i love him so much he'll go up he'll go up and it's like he got a he got a viral video of me and eating dinner yeah did you end up finding it yeah you saw the video yeah i've said i showed it to you guys didn't i

no i never saw it i would be a nightmare he also got binder yeah yeah yeah i heard about that yeah yeah um he'll also like randomly be at like udub in seattle you're like how does he have like the budget to travel around okay that that's good money filming yeah i follow joy of everything on tiktok and he just sits at lax and just films everyone at lax waiting for celebrities to show up and then uh we'll talk to celebrities sometimes i think sometimes i'll just sit in his live streams for like hours you will yeah because he like tells stories about celebrities because he like used to work at tmz for like an hour or for years for hours there was a celebrity in front of me on my flight home yesterday whom uh or two days ago ego uh lego my ego no she's on she was on snl yeah

yeah yeah she was in uh will's new show ego yeah yeah or ego i guess i think it's ego ego ego and when we got am i getting pranked like i know about the waffle it's like end yeah this one oh um and she oh i know her she did the uh she did the mask when we got off and i was like holy shit like to wear a mask like the uh clearly avoiding guys like this or whatever we're like we were like me they're like the guy you were talking about that film celebrities yeah because she when we got up put a mask on and put her hat down or whatever but um is she on the level of yeah i guess i didn't i didn't i mean joy of everything will stop anyone yeah he talked to me one time i met him out in the streets really i was walking by i was like andrew from planet

no no no i was walking by the um craigs la he'll hang out outside of like craigs what's that oh like a restaurant a lot of yeah too and i was walking to the troubadour and um i recognized his voice and i was like joy of everything and he's like yeah man i was like oh my god i watch your live streams all the time and then uh and then he started filming me and i got really uncomfortable now i know how it feels that's crazy to be like having a normal interaction and then him being like i gotta do it yeah well like he like having that monopod in your face yes what's a monopod is it the little tiny thing it's like a stick that holds your phone how come everybody be filming all those tiny ass shit you know what i'm talking about

yeah the pocket cinemas yeah whatever that thing is dji yeah at the at gold's there's hell of people what are they they're filming their workouts yeah it's because it's a tiny camera but it looks like really high quality is it this thing oh so it's like not as invasive um i think it would be easier to just hold your phone maybe well this is like really high quality oh it's better than an iphone yeah whoa you don't you see him at the gym oh yeah all the time yeah i also see people like stop people at the gym and take a photo and i'm always like i wonder who that is like probably some really famous gym influencer that i don't know yeah i mean i see yeah i've seen that with like when it's like a crazy jack guy you're like oh it's probably like this was like

a normal looking like teenage guy and like i saw a couple kids like stop him for a photo but i saw it wasn't me right it looked because i do the rice peel off thing three two three two haven't made to three i was watching like i saw a clip of the one of the old epcot videos and it was billy hammered being like this is will fucking danelle and he figured out he he invented rice peel off he invented rice peel off two and he's trying to figure out rice peel off three he's working on rice pilaf three i'm getting there craigs is the restaurant that i got like the least nonchalant dessert of all time i ordered the sunday and it came out like on fire have you ever seen that video really it was like it's a pretty dimly lit restaurant yeah and it was

i mean it was like someone turned it was like someone ripped the roof off the building in the it was it was awesome it was awesome i saw um sarah safari at the gym the other day And she was That sounds like a fake name Like from the AF pod What you don't know Sarah Safari I'm going to sit this one out because I feel like I'm going to get clowned for not knowing her

But no Oh she's friends with She knows Jenny Giraffe Oh Andrew I see why you're such a big fan I appreciate that you think that she would be In my orbit Like I'm not consuming a lot of gym content what when she was at gold's gym wait you don't know her no i i like i recognize her face but i

wouldn't i did not know her she hangs out with bradley martin all the time though how do you know actually how i know her she was at the she was at the jake paul fight we went to in our suite we were no but we were filming and someone was like that's sarah safari now i remember i i think billy or someone or i don't know okay i mean that that would be where she would be at the jake paul fight it is yeah if there was a place for us to run into her it does make sense that it was yeah wait she was at gold's gym she was at gold's gym and um i walked by her and i was like oh i should ask for a photo but she was in the middle of streaming and i was like i can't be on a stream that's weird that oh my god that's weird that people be like streaming yeah that

click on the one where it's her and a guy i had beers with this guy jameson's with he's will with puka nukua oh no wait was it puka nukua that would make sense that he would be with puka nukua no no never mind i thought it was a different guy oh okay they're dating uh they were for a minute um but they aren't anymore all kind of all did he bite her did he bite her is he a biter yeah didn't he bite a girl uh maybe but it definitely wasn't her oh he wouldn't bite her like in a playful way no google no he got like a he got like a oh oh what oh my god damn what part of the body is that abs yikes penis he bit her penis oh my god wait what that's like he almost like got a chunk out of her by a woman named madison he bit her shoulder and

made an anti-semitic remark the old one-two punch on new year's oh my god dang what a crazy way to bring in he's like a party animal you guys know that oh my god but he had like the best season in like nfl history yeah he's like the nfl's james harden i would consider myself a bit of a party animal i've never seen anyone biting oh not that yeah you're right you're right that's fair that's like is that like a party trick no i just think it's funny that like oh my god like i feel like the nfl has become so like it's all about like discipline and stuff and he's like the best player and wait did he did he knew he just went up to a random woman did he know they were in a sprinter van so they probably knew each other everyone's in sprint when did that

become like the mode of rec started it yeah but like famous people now i feel like vans used to not be cool and now vans are like like every every person i see online is in a van really yeah yeah that's true you know what i mean like streamers and stuff they like all like get that's how they get around town vans vans like tricked out yeah yeah like those paparazzi videos are like tate mccray leaving a restaurant yeah getting in a sprinter really in a sprinter van like are they build seats or they have yeah dude it's like a it's like a it looks like the inside of like a private plane can you google they look nice yeah um the guy that i thought that was in that picture dexter all-time thing you know when someone like like it's a loud

environment someone's trying to tell you something at a bar sure uh that guy i thought that was someone leaned over and goes that's the guy that got kyle from nelk jacked yeah they're like this they're like a fucking house oh that's cool you know who also goes to our gym now steiny really seen him there a couple times yeah what an interesting crowd you guys this is like you guys are able to deal with this at like seven in the morning i feel like i would be like it's way too early for he's not there at seven in the morning steiny doesn't go at seven in the morning so i don't see all the influencers i'm there with the real yeah real grinders yeah exactly i'm with the real grinders i had an awkward interaction with steiny because

every machine i went to he was also next to like and so it was like the whole time he was always kind of like one machine ahead of me but the next machine i needed was always next to him and he started kind of looking at me like i thought you were a steinhead he probably thought i was a steinhead but i actually just like i didn't know how to prove to him that i actually just needed every machine that was next to him we must have been hitting the same muscle what is steiny short for steinberg steinenhoff i'm asking i don't know i've never that's the first time i've ever thought about that can you google what is steiny short for i think he's just short i don't think it's for any reason steinberg yeah or steinman or oh no aaron steinberg steinberg yeah

where did he come from i don't know he just was on my reels one day one day he just owned my reels i think he's in milk yeah but where oh he i think he worked for them he was an assistant to steve will do it imagine telling yeah i'm gonna assist i mean he's he's probably just made so much fucking money oh no no i was saying like imagine telling your grandparent like trying to explain to your grandparents like who steiny is like well he was steve will do it's yeah assistant and then he was part of the nelk boys and they're like what is going on right now uh wait what was i gonna say about steiny um didn't you uh didn't you run into him one time no i've never run into steiny oh i was gonna say i got i gotta figure out what i'll still be going to the gym but i

start my i gotta start training for my marathon today oh the valencia one yeah are you how are you feeling about that nervous i've kind of really been enjoying going to the gym and now i'm like oh god it's so much running you can do both i know it's just gonna be i'm gonna have to i gotta figure out like i gotta be disciplined about my diet and my sleep because it's gonna be really like i gotta run let's just run 30 miles this week 30 yeah not at one oh oh i was like that's just doing the marathon yeah i know phil told me i didn't realize you were very you were that fast phil said he's been following your straw and that you're a fast runner i am i'm not like in i'm i'm like a for like a are you in the top 10 you think of runners in the world counting people that run

like i'm not part of it yeah i think i'm pretty i'm like i don't know probably not would you say you're no not top 10 no i'm not an elite runner he was making it say he was like you could like i think you're pretty fast yeah i'm like good for someone who's like a an average runner but i'm not like there's a whole different category of people who take it like seriously seriously and like i've never been able to like also my yeah my marathon is not my strongest what's your what's your best distance well i mean the shorter the better but uh no like my my half marathon time my marathon time are like the splits are like a minute off so like i run like a 7 30 pace for the half but an 8 30 for the marathon so it's like yeah i gotta work on my endurance but i think people

should start training for the 100 meter the way they train for barathons like six months out the average person that you're working with is like yeah yeah i have a hundred meter i have a or the turkey do people like regular people oh like go run like the like there should be like the new york hundred meter yeah and it's just like a fucking thousand people they have the abbott kenny one in june it's a one mile race just right down abbott kenny but i mean like like no one's no your co-worker in like accounting is not getting ready for like sprints yeah that would be fantastic that would be hella torn acl yeah everyone's just knocking each other over like i think i could get excited about that yeah that would be sick dude because like when when you

go and like when i went to watch my sister in the marathon it was like i'm i'm like doing a fucking subway marathon to try and get to the next place like if you just post it up at a bar and it's at like the halfway mark of the hundred meter and you're like my sister's just gonna sprint box it's just like thousands of waves of yeah and it's yeah no it's not it's it's all at once so like if you got a jockey for like the best spot because like if you're if you're at the back yeah you're probably running like a mile sure yeah or it's just super wide yeah it's like a mile wide i think it's everyone it's a single file line the other way it's like the it's like on the beach or something or i don't know i think we could make this work i think this and the

corporate little league world series are two things i'm pretty excited about okay yeah man um fuck dude that we got to make that that would be the funniest thing yesterday but so did you talk about on the podcast your idea for the i think so corporate little league world series yeah yeah yeah but yesterday he was like rick did willie tell you my idea about the corporate little league world series i was like was i supposed to tell rick that like all-time moves Am I supposed to be spreading the word on them? Andrew, did Jack tell you what I was saying to him yesterday? I was like, oh, I didn't know I was supposed to tell him.

I actually really think that's sweet. Because I feel like that's a way of bringing you into the conversation. Yeah. I'm more meant to speak to him. No, but I think that's more like, Rick, I was telling Willie the other day. Yes. But Rick runs the softball here. So I figured maybe it could be a practice or something.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We don't do a lot of practice. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. Oh, I had some things. I booked my trip, though, to Spain. and afterwards i'm going to dublin and london did i tell you that already on the podcast uh no not

on the podcast okay solo um no with scott and dylan nice that's gonna be scott's running the race with me and dylan's gonna come watch yeah i didn't know he ran it's his first marathon he he's a great he was like a track star in high school he's way he's fast as fuck but he's never done a marathon so no this would be his first he'd be great in the hundred meter yeah he would He was at 800 How far is 800 meters? Half a mile It's a tough race

It's such an awkward distance 800 meters? Because you're half sprinting, half jogging Do the elite ones just sprint for 800 miles? Or for 800 meters? You want your time to be like a minute For every lap Fuck

Is it four laps? No, it's two laps yeah holy fuck i think he went sub sub two two yeah there's some kids like sophomore year of high school or something dude high school he was doing a sub two is that crazy no i think that's right i mean it wouldn't i know it was sub something and it wouldn't have been something you just think about like if you kept that pace for four you know 100 yeah that'd be fucking insane you know um which obviously you can't but yeah i ran it in middle school and i i can't remember what my time was but i don't think i was hitting a sub two in middle school yeah in middle

school there was one kid uh shout out tom higgins who just could run a five minute mile when we're in like fifth grade i yeah do you have any of those kids we're just like were you in fifth grade i think he was like 5 30 or something i wasn't up close enough to find out yeah we ran the mile in tennis one time for our like pe credit you know you have to run a mile like once a semester and one of the kids on the team ran a 515 and we were like you're in the wrong sport yeah why are you playing tennis you run a 515 mile no training yeah yeah um do you guys see uh that dude that town like walnut walnut creek the nut the new nickname the nut and the the mayor is like all in yeah people are starting call this town's called walnut creek is that in like east

bay like yeah yes i've been there it's in it's like right outside of san francisco i've my my college girlfriend was from like one town over i've actually yeah can you pull up pull up just look up the nut that was that was my old boss eric swalwell's district if i'm correct the nut walnut creek dude oh wait i gotta what in austria so all right i don't think i've talked about it since everything happened but i used to work for eric swalwell what happened again he like cheated on his wife uh no he was like sexually assaulting like uh staffers and other people oh my god he was the front runner to be california governor and all this horrible shit came out about him yeah and i i that was like he was like how i got my start this is your guy he he's he got me the

job for kim nelson like stand by him now i'm not standing by him now i didn't obviously know any that shit so i'm i'm one of the staffers no no but it's okay if you were he got he also slept with like a chinese spy and so the fbi uh arrested him or like the fbi like closed in on him like for like i just saw the clip yesterday at the san francisco airport and in it he's wearing a zach bryan t-shirt it's i'm like just that was just like the most like willie d real of all time is eric swalwell getting arrested espionage or what are they even like yeah yeah i don't know i mean he's uh or not espionage what is it called um or treason treason so he knew she was a chinese spy no i think he was just horny as hell i'll get out

if that's a crime but i mean he was definitely horny as i'll get out that that's the one thing did you not see him behave like this when you were working for him no i to be fair i was aware that he was a horny guy but i did not i was not aware of the non-consensual got it babe but he was doing it to people like in your position which is women yeah i mean like one of the first people came forward was someone who worked on his presidential campaign which i worked on his presidential campaign which is not a lot of people could say that because he dropped out very early in that race uh well did you know the girl i don't know i don't think she i don't think she put her name out but no but she was in the she was in the hq in california and i was in

south carolina so i was his only i was one of two people on his staff in south carolina and uh i was planning an event for him and then he dropped out before the event that i had planned and he called me and told me that you guys were like tight dropping out i mean we knew you guys were like good friends and then i saw him i worked in the capital i would see him all the time and i'd say hi but like i i didn't know he was like a fucking pervert like i how you keep saying you knew he was horny though how did you know he was horny but not a pervert checkmate speaking of no no i i yeah i don't know it's so funny that that's like such a universal experience when you get your first job because like i feel like everyone's first job they just

had like the horniest manager wait yeah i gotta say this i i was there were rumors i i think i wouldn't be the only person that heard there were rumors that he might have uh had some fun in his free time okay but i was not in the sense of uh i didn't have a horny first boss really yeah i thought everyone i i don't know i used to work at this golf course right and my manager there used to show me pictures of his girlfriend's vagina just like flash them at me like as like a prank thing and it scarred me it was yeah i was like i've never i never even tell anyone Why didn't you like tell anyone Because I wanted to make money

So you would wake up going to work being like This fucking guy is going to show me another picture of a vagina That was not happening to me at all Eric Swalwell was hitting you with the baby bird Wow With all the nuts Speaking of what is that movie The Nut Job

Is it like a No nuts no glory Is that like a Ice age spinoff What is that oh my god getting a nut job sounds fucking unreal move on

although no but here's the thing you're spending way too much time on my nuts can I say one thing when anything with job the modifying word at the beginning is usually what they're doing it with just to be clear hand job it's not rubbing your hand so a nut job

he gave me a nut job so think about it he's like making he's like making pigs in a blanket oh pants on a log with my when my tiny nuts be oh my god oh my god wait i found my new like favorite guy of all time have you seen this guy that's like come to appalachia and let me grab you it it's this he's oh yes yes yes so he joined that crew that i used to love where it was like a taste of boys no the singers that were like it was only just for fun wait um you have to look at this guy so he has this song where one of the lyrics is come to appalachia and let me grab ya

and i just slacked this too and he goes what's the worst thing that could happen getting grabbed in Appalachia is probably I mean it's the start to like the worst five things that could happen to you to the mountains and I will grab ya what is the worst thing that can happen

like I can name I mean I can't think of anything good that happens after he grabs you in Appalachia Noah Edge is he related to our boss Alex this is Edge's brother can you imagine if this was edges i'd like believe it i kind of see him i mean the worst

thing that could happen if if that guy grabbed you in the mountains i can uh murder um he could rob you he could assault you he could kick you punch you bite you what if he just grabs you and gives you a little kiss but what is the like is i think he phrased it poor it should have been Like, come to the mountains and let me love ya. I think he knows exactly what he's doing. Can you go to his page? The Appalachian Grabber. Yeah, I mean.

He knows what he's doing. He nicknamed himself the Appalachian Grabber. Yeah, he's the man. Go down a little bit. Click on that middle one. This one? Yeah. Come to Appalachia and let me grab ya.

Can you feel it in the air? the Appalachian grabber is a guy that sounds like one of the most prolific serial killers of all time wait a girl decided to be a feature on this oh yeah no that's uh that's the other that's the guy I used to like oh but uh I wish him nothing but but apparently he lost like 350 pounds so good for him wow um can i can we go bathroom break real quick yeah come to appalachia guys protein bars used to taste like cardboard if you mixed it with styrofoam and thank the lord that somebody came along the way and changed the game i'm talking about

bear bells they are the best i mean this stuff is delicious and it's got protein out the wazoo i'm gonna try the key lime ply flight ply key lime ply i mean what am i saying pretty good that's delicious guys bear bells are the number one protein bar in the u.s they make protein bars with 20 grams of protein and no added sugar that tastes as good as a candy bar Their bars strike the perfect balance between flavor, texture, and function. Can I just say one thing? When I said Key Lime Ply earlier, I meant Key Lime Pie. They don't have a flavor called Key Lime Ply.

If you wanted to try Key Lime Pie, you can get them at retailers like Target, Walmart, Vitamin Shop, and GNC. They have flavors like Cookies and Cream, Chocolate Dough, Cookies and Caramel, Peanut Butter, and Key Lime Ply, of course. Key Lime Pie, not Key Lime Ply. If you haven't tried Bear Bells yet, go to bearbells.com to shop the full lineup and to use code playdate for 15 off your order let's get back into the episode i just saw burger freak off on my for you page yeah i did too so are we gonna do this are we doing i'm so excited i'm

pumped so the time i feel yeah the hashtag system is all messed up because i clicked burger freak off and it was like just suggest it was just like burger freak off related videos what does that Like, it was just, like, Instagram slop. Really? Well. I think I need to, I think it might have been used already. Maybe DM it. DM it to my personal.

No, look, it's just these two. And the AI, the Playdate Pod Burger Freak Off is a viral cheeseburger throwing contest. Viral. Watch for Will and Rusty's Playdate in 2025. So, I was in Maine. Wait. Oh, yeah. And I had a great time.

How was it? It was great. oh yeah how's main man it was great i feel like i was gone for like a month you're my main man actually it is funny that you're like my back hurts for some reason and you played golf like no but it's been doing it in a row it's been doing that it did it in the i did it on my last main trip too and this morning i'm telling you it's the squatty potty because i'll get up and it takes me a minute to like correct did you see that on our on our like partying in third person video my t-shirt was sitting in a way i think i was oh the reddit post i was arched a little bit

more he had the trump what was the reddit post you didn't see the reddit post no look at oh is it gonna hurt my feelings no i don't go on the reddit go to our reddit no it's hysterical rusty it's like broke up that trump stance someone posted like rusty sucks one time and i just like have not gone since i mean yeah it's probably for the best scroll down to it's like i thought it was like photoshopped omg that one that one that one like there's no fucking shot i was standing that way was i really i don't know i don't know oh my like i got some fucking arch to it i'm like i'm like fucking asking for it the walk right look dude it's fucking crazy it has to be

like oh no it's like a it's like a trick of the mind there's no way i'm that fucking curvy oh yeah wait where did you see this all the comments on the youtube video were like bro his stance at four minutes and this and i went to it and was like what like i i went to that part of the video and was like did caleb i mean it looks like a like it looks like a photo i don't even the angle that like your shirt is out in the bottom left is like like why is it how is it so straight that's what i'm saying like i think caleb like photoshopped me to see if there's that's not possible for my body to do that look how far away my ass is from my belly i know my ass is like a fucking it's not even in the frame anymore my ass is like a country mile from my fucking so pointy like that's what

doesn't make sense is like i can't even what am i looking at like where this is like my fucking looks like you're like a shape yeah i'm like a fucking a triangle how would my yeah my ass is like a perfect diagonal line like you look like that guy from spongebob who's trying to beat everyone's ass yeah what does that guy look like you can't pull him up i actually kind of i think i've seen that episode when did i like am i walking around town like that oh man like this guy yeah what i'm like a perfect triangle do i ever have you ever seen me look like that oh man what are the comments

oh man it's his first time in third person yeah i like morphed into like a different guy they're saying you have scoliosis i fucking might how many upvotes you got on this oh man uh 30 that's pretty good my god yeah i mean downvote i creating a reddit account to download this i saw i saw all the comments on this i was like i'm gonna ask caleb about it because i don't know it's got to be just like a weird camera clinch yeah yeah it might be it might be the wide angle it's like screw it with you especially that's the end of the frame perplexed oh my god it's funny though oh my god do you have any main stories uh i found out that peter buell's brother thinks it's spelled main

like main page like he dm me is this main m-a-i-n he's from texas so yeah but uh well you know our education system yeah yeah he was a jesuit guy so maybe oh maybe they didn't speak of jesuits i tell you guys i'm going back to bc dude what is that the denellan men are going back to school yeah i'm not going back to school i'm going to the red bandana game oh nice how can we not talk about family when family's out that feels messed up sorry that was for wells um in vegas this weekend my friend's bush was out really what kind of bathing suit was he wearing are you serious like a speedo we didn't know how to tell him for like two hours he was poking when you speak bro you're flashing you're poking turf bro is poking sod that oh my god how do you

tell someone that you're flashing wait where what how like from above the waist yeah yeah yeah so So we had a pool at the Airbnb, and his swimsuit. Oh, at least it wasn't, like, in public. No, no, no. Okay. Then you can't bring it up. Yeah, it wasn't at Chainsmokers, thankfully. But, like, we had a pool at the Airbnb,

and so we were all just hanging out there, throwing the football around, and every time he'd, like, reach up to grab the football, it would just be full bush on display. Yeah, some guys wear their board shorts, like, really low. I mean, his was just too big. Like, he had his shit. Oh, they weren't tight enough?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's like sad. Well, no, but he had like tied them as tight as they go, but they were still just way too big for him. Oh. Did he have good bush? It was like a seven. Are you a bush?

I shaved my, I went poof the other day. You're totally clean? No, I have like a fade. Okay, nice. But the problem is I'm so hairy everywhere else that it just looks like. Yeah. Well, so that's the thing. It's like, he was like, I haven't shaved it in like a year.

and i was like a year that seems like an insane i've come close i've definitely come close i'm not really i really don't like doing it shaving it yeah agree i mean it's an it's i can never make it look good yeah it's just like i just like whack it down whack it down every couple months and then it'll grow back in oh no i think like you keep it i can picture you keeping it like yeah i feel like it's like aerodynamic yeah okay yeah i get when i'm running a lot like the more i have like that less i chafe yeah and the prickle you don't want to you don't want to be the prickle is a nightmare for long runs yeah oh yeah oh here's a good main story my prickle i went i went out with a buddy oh my god all you know you say like my buddies are have fake names this might be the fakest one

burr roads burr roads like joe burr roads no like burr his name first name is burr okay and his last name is roads okay yeah and uh and so we go out and we were gonna have one beer and then we went to maps and we started getting freaky and uh this is what i love about man this would never happen in la i'm driving to breakfast the next morning and the bartender from the previous night is crossing the street and i was like yo were you bartending at maps last night he was like dude you guys were on fire and i was like all right i'll see you later that's awesome it made me feel very very good that's why you do it something about being in maine for too long though a little bit a little bit depressing have you ever get that um shit dude i wish i ever was

there too long i feel like i'm never there like long enough not like the portland or maybe it's just like we went way up north to play this one course and like in this the winter towns in the summer there's just no one there and uh it got like really fucking cold the last day of golf we were playing and there's no one really up there excuse me in the like lake towns or whatever and that there's something there's like a like hollow feeling that i get up there where i'm just like i need to get back to like civilization a little bit yeah but i've the fall up there is i kept trying to say it was fall and people were getting mad i'm going whitewater rafting next week where somewhere in maine i don't know oh in maine yeah that's fantastic you're gonna have a blast

yeah and i'm going and the the rumble ponies are in town binghamton yeah oh man so i'm gonna go they're playing the sea dogs yeah so i'm gonna go see jefferson rojas is uh or no um uh roman anthony went up to the woo socks but he was on the uh is he not on the red socks he came all the way he came all the way down to the sea dogs for rehab yeah yeah yeah okay yeah yeah but then now he's on or now i think it's the the worcester uh red socks but they used to be the woo socks which i liked a lot i think they still call them i think they've always i think that's just like a nickname no oh i thought it was like that was the no because they just moved there they were the paw socks then they moved to worcester like two years ago i think or three years ago i don't know

you know i've been white road right after him before i can give you a couple tips if you'd like give me the tip wait get guess where there you will never be able to guess the one place i've done it it's the last think of the think of the place that you not only would there not be rapids but you wouldn't think there'd be water new york city manhattan second second flint michigan okay no no think like think like there shouldn't be water there texas the grand canyon what is that That it's like a carved by a river. Yeah, I didn't know there was water at the bottom I thought it was just I thought no, I'm sure I thought there was water there like a horrible flooding right now I know dude. That's where Ramon told me and I was like, I'm gonna be going to the top of the canyon

Why is there flooding in like opposite parts of the world? Is that just a complete coincidence? It's not it's like because they're on exact opposites it's like one flood happening through the earth oh i think an asteroid hit them it's got to be like el nino's fault right it's like one you can always trace it back to the el nino i went to my grandparents house and the waves were hitting their like house and they were like dude there's an el nino in town speaking yeah el nino's starting to piss me off because i go to so we go down to the beach the last couple weekends to play with our rc stuff and we're out there for like four or five hours building shit playing uh drinking right and i get i pee a lot already and the beauty

of the beach is that you just go pee in the ocean you're right there the waves are insane it's like i go into pee and it's like a five alarm fire and i've had five medellos and i'm like oh like and and so basically like you either go in like way over your head and it's scary which i'm not willing to do because i'm already not a big like ocean deep i don't like going in where i can't touch the ground okay at least in uh in choppy waters i get a little sussed out okay what i'd rather be in choppy waters than like i get scared if i'm floating in still waters i'm like this is where a shark would i don't i'm not worried about sharks i'm worried about drowning or getting sucked out to sea okay surely the your friends would save you yeah i guess but i don't want to

get you with that i just feel like andrew can be on the other end of a rope that's tied i get very like uh panicky in water okay if i know this about yeah i know it sucks but anyway so like what i love about old orchard beach where my family is is like and maybe that's why i'm such a pussy is it's like the calmest water of all times you just go out you i can go up to you know here in the water and float around with only your eyes above yeah like an alligator piss that's what i call that so i go to here and it's like if i go in and the water's up to here and then the waves goes out yeah and it's literally to my ankles so then i'm like now i'm just soaked in piss yeah because i'm mid piss and the water just leaves and then what are the water i'm basically

just peeing and then letting water hit me the water leaves and then there's like uh your pants around your ankles and you're pooping yeah exactly there's a huge turd but you know like more people do that than i realized like that there are people that are at the beach taking aqua dumps like every time you're there what isn't that fucking madness the romans invent that the aqua dump oh wait so you have do you just have because they'll be like it comes off clean like it's not i got i can't remember who's telling me this but they were picturing it as like it's not possible for poop to stick to your butt if you do it in the water but it's like surely they're walking around with poop on their butt for the rest of the day i don't know i've never tried it honestly i had a friend

who like would always go take a shower after taking a dump yeah without wiping and we'd be like okay we're not no no you're trying to bleep his name um when i was a kid hayley thompson bless her soul was babysitting for me and i was why i really had to poop i was like three or four and was like i thought she was very cool and didn't want to embarrass myself so i was like i'm gonna run to the ocean and poop and i pooped like halfway to the ocean and i was wearing those um swim trunks with like the net uh liner and i pulled it to the side and shook it out of my shook the turd out of my leg onto the beach and kind of went pretended to splash around the water and then came back and she was like we all saw that that's awesome

oh man she would do she taught me a lot of fun things we'd go to a CVS parking lot and we'd tell people they dropped something and it rolled under the car and then when they were down on their hands and knees we'd say I think it was a super jumbo tampon and drive away

I would also put my butt out the window and my friend was this a girl who looked at the she was a freak no she wasn't she was the greatest babysitter of all time I would stick my bare ass out the window and she would yell it's a full moon at people that was pretty fun that's insane i mean it was it was a great time my dad time my dad wanted the uh the older babysitter

to be around more i had a babysitter how was that for you tasha oh such a babysitter name was she hot they're always hot tasha sounds like a hot name it does i was like a kid that's when i was like stir crazy about my babysitter oh i was i didn't have any sort of sexy ones no i mean i i'm sure you didn't have feelings right i didn't have feelings did you say you don't have feelings you said you don't have feelings didn't you say you didn't have like feelings until you were like 13 or something like i wasn't like horny for girls yeah oh really until i was like what were you feeling tasha was honest she was like the man but there wasn't a part of you that was like god i was like i was like eight yeah oh my god should we do some segments yeah let's do pitches

we don't have drafts we don't have drafts today today's early we did i apologize we did cold cases yesterday so you guys will have cold cases soon but uh this is eight in the morning and we didn't we didn't have time can i do what this guy rocks yeah or wait we'll do it in order do it in order um all right let's hear some pitches oh i have a great pitch today okay so what is the worst part about going to a concert like anytime you need to pee or get a drink it's like a full thing it's a whole thing okay well oh getting a boner during grinding yes okay um wait no i was gonna say you don't know what time to get there because you don't know when your band's gonna go on and you might not care about the opener that's a good one no the worst part is you're worried the

person behind you can't see you're blocking their view so like i was thinking like i couldn't go to daisy chain this weekend because i was at chain smokers but i was thinking had i gone i would have felt really guilty about it all girls all girls it was like an all-girl festival and like nobody was going to be able to see like over me and it's clearly not made for me at all so it felt really bad but i still wanted to go you know and so you would have gotten on your knees yeah i that's why i had to stop wearing cowboy hats to country concerts because i was like this just makes it five times as bad yeah sorry yeah that's also a problem at like texas festivals people always wear like cowboy hats and your everyone's shoes are three inches three inch

heels and you're like seven feet tall with a cowboy hat and boots on yeah i mean and then And I put those, like, things in my shoes to make myself taller, too. And you have the Doug Dimmadome hat. You have the Ron DeSantis. Have you seen that diagram of where his feet must be for his boots to be at that angle? Uh-uh. We'll look it up later. But it's like, his feet might be halfway through his boots.

Sorry, Andrew. So, my pitch is, see through clothes. So, like, clothes that you can see through. So that... Wait, so, I'm in! so that like then like the girls can see or they have like they can they can have stuff to oh they can see through your whole body oh yeah oh yeah or they just it would have to be about they'd have something to entertain them because they could like look at your nuts

his ass looking at andrew's nuts from behind at a daisy chain concert i didn't think you would see my little tiny ants on a log i didn't think about the fact that i would have to do the body too so i'm gonna have to make some calls but okay you get the idea maybe it's like a hat that connected bluetooth connects to your shirt and there's a camera there's a camera so they can watch your pov on the back of your shirt yes yes yes that's a good one and then there's also one for taint yes the devil's runway okay what's the worst part about flying it takes forever can't jack off in your head a little bit you're like if anything happens this plane we're all just dead yeah yeah it's like in theory it's just as safe as boating but the difference with boating

is like if this crashes there's like a one percent chance i could like survive out there right right everyone should wear a parachute i actually i've i like and the top pops off if anything happens oh my god can you fucking imagine how fun that would be watching like watching sorcerer's stone and then the top pops off and next thing you know you're just fucking floating down oh my god they just gave everyone parachutes planes would be so fun oh you you want like air life jackets yeah okay i like that i like that but they're like sexy too yeah maybe they're like very svelte there's like the guy from frozen rate for a tbh like for a rate like for a rating i always got sevens and no date and no hate oh wait what was this they'd you'd the ones where

like the the girls would tell you what they think yeah the right date hates dude peter buell posted a fucking rate and tbh on my story when i was a junior in college when i was in the shower did you most what did you do them i think i think you have to wait you did wait what i got in the shower and my buddy mcdowell and peter buell were sitting outside and they took my phone and posted a rate slash tbh on my story that's awesome when i was a junior in college i want give me a rate uh is it like looks vibe something a third more sinister thing uh seven out of seven and 21 out of 46 wait so what what remind me like give me like a stereotypical tbh it was like tbh i think we

should hang more tbh i see you around the hallway sometimes you seem chill we should hang out some time if they're trying to like yeah slide in but if they don't really know you it's just like i see around the hallway sometimes you seem chill right seven date no hate no that's what i got all the time i had a girlfriend in middle school that i never talked to i think we're the first the first words we spoke to each other were in high school it's kind of beautiful like we would see each other in the hallway and just pretend we didn't know each other but you were dating i'd go home and text her like i my life would crumble without you how's your babysitter texting your babysitter from sixth grade being like i fucking cannot wait to get home i love you

so much be home soon baby i'm getting paid for this i i remember sitting uh sitting at dinner when we were like so so uh so-called dating or why i phrase it that way when we were when we were dating and just pretending just pretending we didn't know each other because our families were friends yeah and just being like never seen that person in my life and then being going home and being like i wanted to hug you so bad and i didn't have the courage to playing hard to get playing hard to get with your girlfriend yeah yeah it's a good move i did you ever make those friends like first week of college that you just like act like you didn't know like the rest of college yeah yeah that was the worst i'm saying like you see them on campus like multiple times

yeah but it's like all right we had that one week but like we both know like yes and so you're just like putting your head down when you see them in the like dorm hallway or something yeah yeah yeah rollins was a high school so it was like yeah you saw everyone right you saw everyone yeah i haven't been back there in like two years so you see yeah are you gonna sit in the student section no oh definitely not that's like i feel like a thing people do at like big schools though now maybe yeah um but i don't know it's on my birthday night game friday night so it'll be fun go back with my buddies and nice are you gonna wear a red bandana gonna be my birthday party yeah i'll wear a red bandana nice you guys are both invited hell yeah yeah i'll go actually

i think i'm busy that's 9-11 right i think i'm busy on 9-11 yeah i celebrate privately i have to remember this is do i need a lawyer brought to you by morgan and morgan high balls but an ass butt and ass i'm hannah and i love you okay do i need a lawyer for not being excited about a surprise trip so background i've been married to my husband for four years now and we've known each other since we were in middle school you could say we know each other pretty well my husband is a standard blue collar american dude who loves being outside footballs beers gambling i lean more towards the chaotic artsy granola type of woman i like hikes nature's adventures but every once in a while i'm down to clown okay so the other night my husband told me he's booked

a surprise trip for us i was very excited and he told me i need to take a couple days off work and we'd we'd be taking a domestic flight somewhere after guessing for ages places like hawaii seattle or national park he finally gave in and told me he booked us um tickets to his favorite football pre-season game in las vegas okay traveling for a football game and i apologize if this sounds outrageously i can't say that word but i don't give a about vegas and football at all lol the thing is that he knows this very well so when i reacted without much excitement he insisted that i was being an and ungrateful however part of me feels like he might have booked this trip under the guise of a surprise because he knew that if he had just asked me if i'd want to go

to vegas and to a football game that i would probably said no we've been talking for a long time about saving up our vacation time and money for our trips to europe or asia destinations that we both would like to go and this trip will eat into the savings and time off work do i need a lawyer for not being happy with the surprise or did he bait my ass playmate forever love you guys all right i well i just want to say he got your ass he's he's he's an evil mastermind yeah he might have figured out something brilliant here which is which is just booking the thing you want to do and then gaslighting the other person into being like you're ungrateful for not wanting to go on this surprise trip to Vegas for my football team's preseason preseason is really the kicker

too and and I don't know if that changes it for you but that makes it hysterical I will also my my dad once got my mom Bruce Springsteen tickets for her birthday reminding me of this she was like yeah I mean I'll go but like that feels like you want that like I think uh yeah I think I think I think he won't he think he got your ass I think you got punked and you just have to you should go and have have fun and tip the cap and say i got punked yeah he he won this round but no you're not the asshole you don't need a lawyer you're reacting perfectly yeah you do not need a lawyer that is uh he you reacted perfectly yeah showed up at venice beach bar the other day they're like how do you not have a mug yet i was like all right i'll bring one like i'll have my

own mug and then they put my drinks in it that is a power move that is a power move just like how hiring morgan and morgan is a power move morgan and morgan is a marriage a marriage a marriage what am i saying morgan and morgan's america's largest injury law firm they have over 100 offices nationwide and more than a thousand lawyers with over 30 billion dollars recovered for over 500 000 clients morgan and morgan has a proven track record of fighting to get you full and fair compensation in florida morgan and morgan secured a 644 million dollar verdict for a client after the defense argued that the victim and his wife should receive nothing now that is a power move in california another client was recently awarded 15 million

dollars in a mid-trial settlement now that is a power move and in nashville another client was awarded 10.6 million dollars that's a power move if you are injured by the negligence of another you deserve to be paid if you're ever injured you can check out morgan and morgan their fee is free unless they win for more information go to for the people.com slash playdate or dial pound law that's pound five two nine from your cell phone that's for the people.com slash playdate or pound law pound 529 this is a paid advertisement guys lucy is the official pouch partner of almost friday premium 100 tobacco free nicotine pouches made for true pouch connoisseurs lucy pouches and lucy breakers deliver long lasting flavor for a seriously satisfying pouch experience i am

currently rocking with the eight milligram mint breaker i use them for focus for energy to relax while i'm having a couple beers we got an office vending we have an office vending machine And let me tell you, people rate that thing like it is Tiffany's on the 4th of July. Guys, Lucy's the obvious choice for the true nicotine pouch connoisseur, and that's why they're the official nicotine pouch partner of Almost Friday. They go up to 12 milligrams in strength, and they've got a unique shape that feels great. Andrew, remind you of anyone? Andrew, come on. Lucy Breakers or nicotine pouches is an extra surprise.

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Played it using code PLAYEDIT. And here comes the fine print. Lucy products are only for adults of legal age, and every customer is age-verified. Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. Let's get back into the episode, Jerry. I saw this Reddit post. It was a similar situation where this married couple always goes to Disney.

yeah the wife like loves disney and then finally she was like i'm changing it up we're doing a cruise and he was like fuck yeah finally not disney and it ended up being a disney cruise um wait did you guys see the margaritaville cruise thing at the zach brown show did we talk about that no zach brown band played at gillette and i had a bunch of buddies that were there and on stage he goes like we're about to do the biggest giveaway in the history of the world everyone at the stadium right now is getting a free margaritaville at sea cruise wait they just gave a free cruise to like hundreds of thousands of people or something yeah holy shit um look at my pants right now do you see those speckles yeah we don't know i've been fucking experimenting with

bleach and i like on those i might know on my whites and to get my my t-shirts and towels like this kind of i want them to be nice and white and i fucking am now realizing that i it's getting on my other clothes so i might just ruin like a cycle in between or something i guess oh you should um use shout it's like a stain stick and you it's like a gel you just rub it on your whites it makes it super white that's remember when i would like wear white shoes and they get super white all the time yeah just pouring like shout on them and throwing them in the washing machine will it fuck with my my my grades it's made for all this like fertility it will fuck with your fertility though you won't be i'm scared i'm gonna go home and all my clothes are gonna be

bleach but also these are the fucking pants they stopped making these are my favorite barely noticeable they kind of make you look artsy like you're like a painter yeah and like you had a paint splash on yeah everyone knows i don't paint that was like when i had those like acid wash jeans painter isn't that a guy yeah yeah really man google that what was it tim painter um see yeah he saw it i think my ideal summer day is pretty straightforward wake up get outside spend the day with friends eat some good food and just see where the day takes you maybe we're out on the water maybe we're fishing maybe we're watching a game or maybe we're just posted up in someone's backyard the location almost doesn't matter it's really about it's really

about who you're with and one thing i always associate with these kinds of days is having an ice cold Mountain Dew nearby there's something about the bold citrus flavor that feels like summer you've been outside all day you grab a cold Dew and it just hits all right you know it's officially summer when the cooler is packed the sun is out and you've got a cold Mountain Dew ready to go okay for me the perfect summer Saturday is pretty simple you get a few friends together you find something fun to do and you just hang out that's all there is to it okay honestly there's something about cracking open an ice cold dew when you've been outside all day that just gets you going all right and Mountain Dew has been doing that for a long

time it was born in the foothills of Tennessee back in 1948 so it really is an American original tasting great since 48 whether you're heading out on the boat fishing watching the game dew belongs in the moment enjoy the refreshing citrus kick of Mountain Dew an american original tasting great since 48 also did i tell you that i uh you know how i was like picking up those prank calls or those uh telemarketers and telling them to suck my balls someone commented and was like when you pick up and you talk to them now you're now i'm on the list of like this fucking idiot will pick up and talk to us it doesn't matter that i was like suck my balls and so it has gotten out of hand you just gotta stop i know i've stopped but now a small

part of me is like i'm already here i might as well maybe it's a good deal if they're being this persistent people have been dming me videos of themselves doing that telling telemarketers to suck their balls it cracks me up every time they get angry uh they usually just like hang up like there'll be like a long pause and then the the call will drop yeah but like i was cracking up the other day in the producer room and like izzy had to be like what what are you laughing at and it was like so hard to explain the key is you got to get to the manager so you like listen to the first salesman's bullshit and then they'll be like all right we're gonna pass you off to our my manager who's gonna like finalize the details and then you go can you do me a favor real quick

could you suck on my you get more of a rush when it's the manager yeah well because the salesperson it's like they're just trying to get by the manager is like yeah fuck you all right all Thank you, guys. We'll see you on Wednesday. Peace out. Monday.