Ashley Lemieux: Rewire Your Mindset, Heal From Grief and Trauma, and Start Again | Mental Health | YAPClassic
00:00Today's episode is sponsored in part by Shopify, Indeed, AT&T business, Northwest Registered Agent, Mindstone, and Honeylove.Shopify is the global commerce platform that helps you grow your business.Start your $1 per month trial at Shopify.com slash profiting.Indeed helps you attract, interview, and hire all in one place.Get a $75-sponsored job credit to boost your job's visibility at Indeed.com slash podcast.AT&T Business delivers reliable business-grade connectivity that gives your team a competitive edge.Switch to AT&T Business at business.ATT.com.Northwest Registered Agent gives you the tools and guidance you need to build a complete business identity.
00:43Visit Northwest Registeredagent.com slash Yap free and start using free resources to build something amazing.Mindstone is an AI transformation company that helps professionals get real value from AI.Get 10% off their four-week AI competency program at experience.mindstone.com slash yap.Honeylove makes the most advanced sports bras and shapewear on the market.Save 20% off Honeylove by going to honeylove.com slash profiting.As always, you can find all of our incredible deals in the show notes or at young and profiting.com slash deals.We experienced a very unexpected contested adoption.And we ended up losing the kids.
01:28The lack of purpose that I felt in my lifeis something that made it really hard for me to get out of bed in the morning.Until I got to the point where I was like,I have to figure out what my intention for my life is now.And so I started with one simple question every single morning.And that question was,so that's when the concept of clarity mapping really started.How did you get over the shame of starting a crime?
01:54company and shutting it down.We get scared of this idea of starting over, but you're not starting over.You can't.You have so much knowledge now.And so you get to now apply all of that into the next thing.Do you feel like entrepreneurs deal with grief and stress differently than other people?Something that is very common among entrepreneurs is...Yap Gang, if you've ever struggled with grief, lost trauma, or just...
02:24just felt completely stuck in life.Today's Yap Classic is going to really resonate with you.Our guest today is Ashley Lemoy.She's the founder and CEO of the Shine Project,bestselling author, and the host of the Healing Her podcast.Ashley is an expert on grief and trauma recovery,and she's devoted her life to helping othersreignite the light within themselves.
02:45In this conversation, Ashley shows ushow to move through some of life's darkest momentsand find a way forward again.So whether you're going through something right now,or just want to be more mentally prepared for the future.I hope you find this conversation with Ashley valuable.Ashley, welcome to Young and Profiting Podcast.Hey, thank you so much for having me.
03:06I'm so excited to be here.Yeah, thanks for joining me today.So I'm going to just jump right into it.For a lot of us entrepreneurs,our businesses grow out of something that we've struggled with in our own lives.And I feel like this has been especially the case for you.You've had a bunch of dark moments in your life.So why don't we start off with the first one that I learned about when I was researching your story?
03:26It was in your 20s.You unexpectedly became the mother of two children.And then you had some traumatic experiences around that.Can you tell us what happened?Yeah.So in our mid-20s, I was actually building my first company also.We were newly married and we didn't have kids at all in our radar at that time.And overnight, we became permanent guardians.
03:52of two kids. And for the next four years, we were a family in every sense of the word and everythingthat we did revolved around raising the kids, giving them the opportunities that we, you know,as a parent, you want them to have. And all of us were under the impression that we would betogether forever, for always. And during the final steps of the adoption process, we experienced a veryunexpected contested adoption. And during that time, we ended up being in court for two years.I just remember the life inside of me. It felt like someone had taken a vacuum and just sucked it allout. We were in court all the time, depositions, high stress. No one knew what was going to happen.And we ended up losing the kids. I was actually on the other side of the country for work.
04:51and it happened fast.I didn't even get to come home and say goodbye to them.And that was almost eight years ago now.And it rocked our world in a way that I did not know how to come back fromor if I even wanted to figure out how to come back from it, to be honest.Yeah.And so can you help us understand how you ended up with these kids in your 20s?And then are they now back in your family?
05:21or the court took them away and you just never saw them again.Yeah, so there's parts of our story that we just don't share all the full details of.But they were placed with us through someone we knew and we have not had contact with them since we lost them almost eight years ago.I'm so sorry to hear that.And I know that you guys decided to move after this happened.What did that teach you about grief when you decided to move?Were you able to run away from your grief?I wanted to.
05:56We were like, okay, what can we do that will help us not feel this hell, this weight thatfeels like it has buried every aspect of our life?And it was really hard to be in the home that we had raised the kids in.All of our friends were friends because our kids were friends from school.We were doing things in the community all together or sports teams and whatever.And my husband and I were like, if there's any shot of us making it after this, we got to get away for a little while.So we ended up moving to Nashville, Tennessee.I actually had had some employees there.
06:35And everything about Nashville is very different than it is in Phoenix.And so we just said, peace out.Let's go.But then once we got to Nashville and settled in the adrenaline, you know,of a new city, of new opportunities, of the excitement of, okay, what are we going to explorewhat is waiting for us here? Once that started to kind of wear off, and the grief was still there,we were then like, okay, how much farther can we run? So we actually ended up packing carry-onsuitcases. And we went to Europe with pretty much no plans for almost two months,
07:11hoping maybe that that would help ease the pain in that acute stage of grief when everythingis just new and raw and you don't know how to take your next breath.And again, after a while, that wore off.And so we found ourselves really having to dig deep of answering the questions,what is it that we want from our lives now and how do we rebuild so that we can participatein our life and not regret,not living it because we were too sad. And I know we're going to touch on this much deeper later,but you talk about this concept in your book called clarity mapping. So was this one of the first
07:51instances of you starting to get clarity around your life and what you wanted? Yeah. So what wasreally hard for me, and I think a lot of people can relate to this in whatever role you are in,let's say you identify with your role of motherhood or as a wife or a partner or your role at workor whatever that thing is that really shapes your identity, if that is taken away from youand is no longer a part of your daily world, you don't have to base your decisions around it anymore,your actions aren't based off of doing that thing because it is gone. The lack of purposethat I felt in my life no longer being a physical mother is something that made it really hardfor me to get out of bed in the morning. I didn't know how to focus my time and my energy anymore.
08:45It didn't matter at that point because my business was running. You know, it was okay for me to stepaway for a little bit. It did not matter if I got out of bed or not. There was no one I needed to feedbreakfast to or to get to school or to bay that night or to tuck in. And I had to so, I had to,I stayed in bed for a long time until I got to the point where I was like, I have to figure out what my intention for my life is now.And so I started with one simple question every single morning.And that question was, what is my intention today?Because today, right now in this moment, was all I could focus on.So that's when the concept of clarity mapping really started.
09:33I became a series of five questions that I answered every single day to help give me purposeand direction and clarity on who I was and what it is that I wanted to be rebuilding so thatI could create tangible steps forward to start building that thing.And one of those tangible steps was that you decided to have your own children.And so you and your husband started to try for a baby.And that led to another traumatic.experience. Are you comfortable to share that with us? Yeah. We waited probably about, I think it wasabout four years after the loss of the older two kiddos to feel like we were at a place where we
10:18were ready to continue to try to grow our family. I didn't want to go back into motherhood feeling asbroken as I felt because I knew that that would impact the next child that we were to bring into ourfamily and I had so much healing that I needed to do in order to be ready for that. So we were sointentional about what the next steps of growing our family look like. And we decided the end of2019 that it was time to grow our family. So that is when we moved from Nashville back to Phoenix.We were like, okay, we're ready to go back home. We want to be by my family. We want solid roots thereso that, you know, when we have more kids, we're close to family, and they get that experience ofgrowing up around cousins, grandparents, aunts, and uncles. So we moved home, and right when we
11:10moved home, we found out that we were pregnant. And obviously, we were so excited. And it just felt likefor the first time in several years that there was this new breath of life being breathed into ourlives again and that there was forward movement. And the grief was still there, but also now there wasjoy and hope and an opportunity to keep living our lives. Right. And I know no one likes to talk aboutthis time, but I feel like 2020 was a great equalizer for all of us because we can say 2020and everyone's like, yeah, that's that you're freaking sucked for me, right? And it sucked for all of usfor various reasons. And for us, we moved into our home in March of 2020 the same week that thepandemic had shut everything down. And so that also meant that doctors' appointments when you were
12:08pregnant, everything kind of changed. And so it kind of felt scary for a moment to leave the housebeing pregnant. I got really sick one day and we couldn't figure out what was wrong because I hadfelt fine, but then by the end of the night, I was screaming in pain. I couldn't get out of bed.I spiked a fever. I had never felt anything like that. So my husband called the ambulance.They took me to the hospital, and immediately they checked the baby. Baby was okay. And I'm like,okay, I can get through anything if my baby's okay. And we found out that I had gone septic.I didn't really know what that meant, but I now know, sepsis is a blood infection. Sowhatever infection you have enters your bloodstream.
12:56And it started causing kidney failure for me.So that had to be treated immediately because it's very life-threatening.And in that moment, they told us you're going to be admitted to the hospital for anindefinite amount of time.But today's also the first day that we are shutting down outside visitors.So your husband cannot come with you.You're going to have to come by yourself.And I just remember feeling that was the loneliest, loneliest I think I have ever felt.
13:27And I remember being wheeled back, just like sobbing, saying goodbye to my husband, neither of us knowing what was going to happen.Later the next day, there was a moment where they called a rapid response, which means like a whole team of doctors was surrounding me because I was really struggling breathing.And everything felt like all the pain had just spiked.And I remember looking at a tech who was giving a scan on my heart, an EKG.And I remember asking him, am I going to die right now?Because I felt like I was going to.And I knew that whatever was happening in my body, there was no way it was going to keepme and my baby alive.
14:10Like I just felt it in my gut that something was drastically changing right then.So after I was stable, a couple hours later, I had them give me another ultrasound.And that's when they found out that we had lost our baby, our baby boy.And I ended up delivering him alone the next morning.And it sent me again into this part of life where you're like, well, I thought that we hadgone through the hard thing, right?Like I thought that this was our first step back of trusting life again.And now what am I supposed to do?
14:50And so that entered the next journey of really finding clarity again in my life for what does this look like now to move forward.Yeah, fam, one of the most exciting things happening in our business is that we're building Yap Media HQ right here in Austin, the podcast capital of the world.And we are hiring like crazy in Austin.We've got five open positions based in Austin alone.And I don't have a lot of time to think about hiring.I'm building studios. I'm building an office. There's so much going on. And I don't have a recruitmentagency that I work with. I feel like they're so expensive. I trust Indeed, Indeed,sponsor jobs. I don't want to post up a job on multiple job sites. I don't have time for that either.
15:33I want to reach the right people with the right skills, the right specifications, and the rightlocation. Indeed, sponsored jobs allows me to do that. Indeed, sponsored jobs gives your posts morevisibility, helps you connect with quality candidates. And the best part is,You only pay for results.Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all of your boxes.Less stress, less time, more results.When you need the right person to cut through the chaos, this is a job for Indeed sponsor jobs.And listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit to help give your job the premium status it deserves at Indeed.com slash podcast.
16:14Just go to Indeed.com slash podcast right now and support our show by saying you heard about Indeed onthis podcast. Indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need a hiring hero? This is a job forindeed sponsored jobs. Yeah, fam, nobody starts a business because they're excited about the paperwork.I am allergic to paperwork. It's part of my ADHD. I will always put off paperwork. But eventually,somebody has to deal with it because it's what makes your business legit and professional.For example, I started a new charity organization and I started a new LLC for it recently.And I put it off for like a year because I thought it was going to take a long time.It was going to be complicated.
16:54I started Yap Media like eight years ago, so I didn't remember the process.But when I finally did it, I remembered Northwest registered agent.And the process took like 10 minutes.Northwest has been helping entrepreneurs launch and grow their businesses for nearly 30 years.And if you ever get stuck, you can talk to a real person who knows the process and you can help move it forward.So for example, when I did my application for my LLC, I forgot something and a corporate guide actually texted me from Northwest Registered Agent.And then he walked me through exactly what I needed to do to complete everything so I could get my LLC on time.This made the whole experience so much less frustrating and intimidating.
17:30You also get access to thousands of free guides, tools, attorney drafted documents to help you build and run your business with confidence.Don't pay hundreds or thousands of dollars for what you can get from Northwest for free.Visit Northwest Registeredagent.com slash Yapfree and start using resources to build something amazing.Get more with Northwest Registered Agent at Northwest Registeredagent.com slash yapfree.That's YAP free.What's up, Yap, gang?If your health routine disappears the second your week gets busy, it might just be too complicated.You need something easy that you can have in your routine that you'll never forget.
18:07For me, AG1 keeps things really simple.It's a daily health drink that combines a multivitamin,pre-embiotic, superfoods, and antioxidants in one scoop.AG1 helps maintain energy, supports gut health,immune health, and it's clinically shown to support gut health and fill common nutrientgaps.And with the next-gen formula, you're getting 75 plus ingredients that are clinically shownto improve key nutrient levels within just three months.
18:32Us entrepreneurs have enough on our plates.We've got teams, tools, systems.Your health habits should not just feel like another project on your to-do list.And yeah, fam, I've got a special offer for you for a limited time.you can save 20% off your first subscription order of AG1 NextGen or AG1 Proof at Drinkag1.comslash profiting. That's drinkag1.com slash profiting. For other people who are in the moment feelinglike really stuck that they've gone through a lot of pain, they had a lot of traumatic experience,maybe a loss, what advice do you have for them in terms of like the steps to take next?
19:09I think this is such a good question because when we are,in those moments, it really feels like we're the only one in those moments. Grief and trauma can feelso isolating. And so the very first thing that I would say is that I'm so sorry. And I want you to beable to know that what you've been through, it can't be fixed. It's not supposed to be fixed.There's not a band-a-that-can-put on it. I think that there's platitudes that people like to say,like everything happens for a reason or time heals all wounds and I'm going to be the first one tosay that none of those things are true. And so it's okay to feel exactly how you feel. The one thing thatwe know about grief and trauma is that most people spend their entire lives avoiding the reality of
20:00the pain. And the one thing that if all of us did in this area of our life where we feel grief,that would change the trajectory of what we're able to do next is acknowledgement.We have to acknowledge what we've been through and also what it feels like inside of us.And it might sound so simple to say that.But having it be simple doesn't mean it's easy, which is why the majority of people never get to this place where they're able to acknowledge it.So if we can start there, then that allows us to have more freedom in acknowledging what has happened and the hurt has.caused us so that we can stop avoiding it and then create a plan that feels safe for us to healand to be able to experience the world again in a way that feels safe so that we can create
20:54forward steps. And I know that for you, you've shared your story on podcasts like this,on your own podcast. You wrote a memoir. How did actually sharing, like you were just eluding to itHow did actually sharing your story help you heal?I think that for so many of us, we carry these stories.Sometimes there's shame attached to it.Sometimes there's so much pain attached to it.But what we know is that when our pain can leave our bodies,whether it's writing our story down and no one else even reads it,
21:28we know that that helps facilitate healing.So many of us suffer in darkness and our stories just need to bebrought to light, to be acknowledged, to be received, to be validated. And as I've been able to sharemy story has been so beautiful and I think is the greatest privilege of the work that I do is thatit helps give other people permission to share and acknowledge their stories. So I get so manystories sent to me by other women who have gone through really hard things who are like,I've seen your story and it's given me courage now to be able to share mine and walk through what that means for me.And what we know is that healing happens fastest in community.
22:16And so when we can create communities that understand each other and have shared respect and validation for the pain that other people go through, we're able to heal faster.So speaking of that, you have created a whole business.around helping people with their grief.And as entrepreneurs, one of the best ways that we can start businessesis by actually solving the pains that we once hadand providing those solutions to people who are in the place that we once were.So what steps did you take to become more qualifiedand become more prepared to take on the role
22:53to help other people with their trauma and grief?I love this question because part of my journey is startedeven before I stepped into helping people morein their grief. I've had a personal brand online for, oh my gosh, it's probably been 14 years nowbefore Instagram even existed and I had a blogspot.com. I've always wanted to be a writer.I've always wanted to help move people through their emotions. So I was doing that evenbefore these life experiences. I wrote my first book and I was in the middle of my edits formy most recent book, I am here when we lost our son, Jace. And after that, I really felt like
23:38my next steps and finding clarity for my life. I didn't know exactly what it was going to look like,but I knew that I needed to go back to school to get my master's degree, specifically in mentalhealth and wellness, with an emphasis in grief and bereavement. And that's probably the leastsexy thing that you could tell someone that you are an expert in is like, okay, what did you,what do you study, Ashley? What do you teach on? Well, I teach on grief and bereavement.Everyone's like, oh, there's nothing sexy about talking about that, but it is the one thing thatevery single person in this world is going to experience at some point in their life.And my life experiences, I felt very much qualified me to help others.
24:25And I then wanted kind of the paper, the education behind it, so that I could take everythingI had already learned and really just propel myself forward.So at the age of, what was I, 34, I went back to school to get my master's degree.And what's funny about it is that about four weeks later, after starting thisintensive program, we got pregnant again. So I ended up graduating and finishing with a four-month-old.I was pumping at my graduation. It was the first time I had left my baby for any amount of time.And it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. But I knew that I needed that for myself and thento be able to help other people. I love that for you. I love the fact that you were able to do that,
25:16even with a young child and you've been able to grow your career so successfully.Your podcast is very popular now.You've got two books.So it's awesome.And you actually started as an entrepreneur even before teaching other people about grief and being an author.You had a successful jewelry business.But then you pivoted and you decided you wanted to become an expert on grief.So how did you decide to make that change?
25:41Like what was the thought process behind that?You know, I've got a lot of entrepreneurs tuning in who are.probably product-based entrepreneurs. And what kind of differences did you see between having aproduct-based business to now having more of like a personal brand business and an audience-basedbusiness? Yeah. So I had an audience during the time of my jewelry company. And I still waswriting to them through blog posts, through Instagram. We would do meetups in person. I wasspeaking a lot. And something that all product entrepreneurs know is that it is a freaking grind.You are grinding so hard to meet your bottom line. We were doing shows all the time, wholesale trade shows,
26:26holiday trade shows. And when we moved to Nashville, I reached this point where I was like,this isn't how I want to be spending the rest of my life. I want to be riding. And it's really hard to befounder, CEO of a product-based company that was on the trajectory that we were on and then alsobe able to do the other work that I really wanted to do. And so I had to make some really difficultdecisions. But at the end of the day, what I've always wanted is to help people. And so whether that wasthrough jewelry or now through writing and podcasting and my personal brand, I knew that I had,to make a pivot. So it started writing more, and my first step was getting a book agent, which,and I'm such a believer in when you are in alignment with that next step, sometimes things
27:21happen to help facilitate that step. So once I made that decision, I literally opened my inboxthe next day. And I had an email from one of the top literary agents in the country asking meif I'd ever thought about writing a book before. And I was like, okay, if this isn't my sign for the nextstep, I don't know what it's going to be. But there also was this grief of closing the chapter on myjewelry business. You know, we were sold in large department stores like Hallmark. And we had really,we had a large headquarters in downtown Phoenix. And so that also meant that I let,I felt like I had to let other people down because my course was changing. But looking back,I can't imagine not making that decision. YAP, bam, one of the most exciting things happening
28:19in our business is that we're building YAPMedia HQ right here in Austin, the podcast capitalof the world. And we are hiring like crazy in Austin. We've got five open positions based inAustin alone. And I don't have a lot of time to think about hiring. I'm building studios. I'm buildingan office. There's so much going on. And I don't have a recruitment agency that I work with.I feel like they're so expensive. I trust Indeed, indeed sponsor jobs. I don't want to post up a jobon multiple job sites. I don't have time for that either. I want to reach the right people withthe right skills, the right specifications, and the right location. Indeed, sponsored jobs allows meto do that. Indeed, sponsored jobs gives your posts more visibility, helps you connect with
29:02quality candidates, and the best part is you only pay for results. Spend less time searching and moretime actually interviewing candidates who check all of your boxes. Less stress, less time,more results. When you need the right person to cut through the chaos, this is a job for Indeedsponsored jobs. And listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit to help give yourjob the premium status it deserves at Indeed.com slash podcast. Just go to Indeed.com slash podcast right nowand support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on this podcast. Indeed.com slash podcast.Terms and conditions apply. Need a hiring hero? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs.Yeah, fam, nobody starts a business because they're excited about the paperwork. I am allergic to
29:49paperwork. It's part of my ADHD. I will always put off paperwork.But eventually, somebody has to deal with it because it's what makes your business legit and professional.For example, I started a new charity organization and I started a new LLC for it recently.And I put it off for like a year because I thought it was going to take a long time.It was going to be complicated.I started Yap Media like eight years ago, so I didn't remember the process.But when I finally did it, I remembered Northwest registered agent.And the process took like 10 minutes.
30:18Northwest has been helping entrepreneurs launch and grow their businesses for nearly 30 years.And if you ever get stuck, you can talk to a real person who knows the process and you can help move it forward.So, for example, when I did my application for my LLC, I forgot something and a corporate guide actually texted me from Northwest Registered Agent.And then he walked me through exactly what I needed to do to complete everything so I could get my LLC on time.This made the whole experience so much less frustrating and intimidating.You also get access to thousands of free guides, tools, attorney drafted documents to help you build and run your business with confidence.Don't pay hundreds or thousands of dollars for what you can get from Northwest for free.Visit Northwest registeredagent.com slash Yap Free and start using resources to build something amazing.
31:02Get more with Northwest Registered Agent at Northwest Registeredagent.com slash Yap Free.That's YAP free.What's up, Yap, gang?If your health routine disappears the second your week gets busy, it might just be too complicated.You need something easy that you can have in your routine that you'll never forget.For me, AG1 keeps things really simple.It's a daily health drink that combines a multivitamin, pre-embiotic, superfoods, andantioxidants in one scoop.
31:31AG1 helps maintain energy, supports gut health, immune health, and it's clinically shown tosupport gut health and fill common nutrient gaps.And with the next gen formula, you're getting 75 plus ingredients that are clinically shown toimprove key nutrient levels within just three months.Us entrepreneurs have enough on our plates.We've got teams, tools, systems.Your health habits should not just feel like another project on your to-do list.And yeah, fam, I've got a special offer for you.
31:57For a limited time, you can save 20% off your first subscription order of AG1 NextGen or AG1at drinkag1.com slash profiting.That's drinkag1.com slash profiting.There's a lot of entrepreneurs out there tuning in that might not have a business that eitherfits their life goals, feeling burnt out.They don't even like working on their business anymore.or their business is just not successful.It's just not taking off.
32:23You know, 99% of startups fail.But a lot of entrepreneurs, we've got an ego where we feel like, well, we already putit out to the world.Everybody knows me for this.What are people going to think if I shut it down?I had a blog in my 20s that became really popular.And I shut it down because I wanted to change past.I wanted to go into marketing and all this other stuff.
32:41I wanted to go into corporate for a period of time.And I'm an entrepreneur again.I have a media company.But I shut down my company and my, everybody,who worked for me. At the time I had volunteers, it was like kind of a blog that I basicallytrained bloggers. And we were all just young, just doing it for fun, you know. And so they were allmad at me. And I lost all my friends. And I felt a little ashamed. But I could imagine being older andhaving a real company with customers and products, that would be really hard. So I guess like,
33:11how did you get over the shame of starting a company and kind of just shutting it down?You know what's interesting is that when you hit rock bottom in your life, which for me was losing the kids, there's nowhere else to go but up. And so I think that I was in a place in my life where I was at such rock bottom that I just freaking didn't care anymore. And I had to do things to get the life back inside of me. I had to. I describe it as feeling like I was dead, but I was a lot.I was just a zombie through my life. And so at that point, honestly, I don't know if it's a good thing,but for that moment it was, because I don't know what else would have forced me to do this,but it was the only way for me. And I had nothing to lose. And I think a lot of times we get afraidof hitting rock bottom or what if it doesn't work out or what will I do? And honestly,sometimes it's the best thing because you finally make decisions off of what you actually wantbecause you can't lose anything more than you already have. So that's what that looked like
34:28for me. And like I said, there was grief. There was sadness to it. And I also started to feelexcited about something again for the first time in a long time. And so I just kept following.following that feeling. And I feel like for other people tuning in, what I want them to understand is thatnobody really cares that much, you know, like we put all this pressure about what is everybody elsegoing to think, what are my friends going to think, what is my family going to think, even peoplewho are lawyers and doctors and who don't want to be lawyers and doctors anymore who are soafraid of making a change. It's like, yes, it's going to be hard in the moment. But as soon as youfigure out the next thing and you've got the next thing to talk about and feel proud of, no one's
35:11even going to remember or care if anything, people are going to be inspired from you. And it's justgetting over that initial hump. Absolutely. And I think we get scared of this idea of starting over.I've put in so much time. I've put in so much money, so much resources. I don't want to start over.But that destroys our next step when we look at things like that. You're not starting over. You can't.You have so much knowledge now that has gotten you to this place. And so you get to now apply all of thatinto the next thing. And I think the place where we fail the most as entrepreneurs is we stay inthe wrong place for too long because our ego gets in the way of it. And we miss out on reallywhat could take off for us and feel in just such alignment that would not only help us,
35:59but other people to be able to serve others more because we are on a path that actuallyis working. And so that's something now I actually help women.in their own clarity maps,in high-level entrepreneurs,because this is one of the things I love so muchis how do we help you pivotwhen you are in this season of having no idea what to do next?How do you find that clarity and the confidence
36:25and the strategy to support itso that you can move forward?Totally.This is a great segue to talk about your latest book.So your first book was a memoir.It was called Born to Shine.And your next book is called I Am Here,and that's more designed.
36:40to help others navigate their own experiences of grief and trauma.Clarity mapping is a big part of that.We're hopefully going to dive deep into that later on in the conversation.But first, you say the biggest life lesson that has come to your life has been the phraseof three simple words, I am here, which is the title of your book.Why are those words so meaningful to you?They're meaningful to me because for so long I didn't want to be here.And I did everything to try to avoid the feeling of being here, whether they're
37:10that was numbing out with social media or food or traveling or spending money or working too muchor being in bad relationships, whatever that thing was to distract me from the other pain is what I latchedonto. And once I got to this point, we were actually in Europe on one of our runawayescapades of trying to escape it. And I remember being in Milan. And next to me sat,a mom and a daughter and she had just lost her tooth. And she was about the age of the daughter whowe had lost in the contested adoption. And I remember watching the joy between the mother and thedaughter over this lost tooth. And I just started sobbing. I just, any composure I had left,I just, it was gone. I wanted those own moments with this human that I loved so much that I knew
38:08I was never going to have again. And so I remember I got up from my spot and I started running towardsthis little apartment that we were staying at. And it was as if someone put a brick wall in front of meand was like, stop. You can't keep running like this. You can't. You have to face these feelings.And I probably looked like a crazy American tourist, which I totally was. But in the middle of thissquare there. I threw up my arms and I yelled, I am here. I am here. And I just started crying.And I just, that became this mantra for me that I still hold onto of I don't want to run away anymore.I want to be here. I am here. And so now what does that look like? And how can I support myself to beable to get through these things so that I don't keep running away from this life that I've been given?
39:04Yeah, that's a really powerful story. Like, I can just imagine you in the street just having thatmoments. And then now years later, you've written a book with that title to try to help other people.Do you feel like entrepreneurs deal with grief and stress differently than other people?Or do they have certain personality types that enable them to get over things more quickly, potentially?This is such a good question. And it's hard, right, putting people into,these buckets. But something that is very common among entrepreneurs is that they're very high-achievingpeople. They want to achieve. And one of the ways that we can cope with grief is called a maladaptivecoping mechanism. So there's two types of mechanisms that we can use to cope. Adaptive, which adaptive
39:55is something that is positive that actually helps your grief. And the other is maladaptive,meaning it's not good for you, but we do it anyway because we don't know what else to do.One of the maladaptive coping mechanisms that a lot of us have and a lot of entrepreneurs have is work and working too much.And so I see a lot of entrepreneurs who throw themselves even deeper into work to avoid their feelings.And they can become really successful from doing that.And it's something that the world praises.And we look at as a huge success.While meanwhile, there can be these layers of emotions that are hurt.
40:34them that's driving this just really unsustainable work.But that can make it really, really hard to get to this healing place.Something else that's really interesting that we know is the difference between men andwomen and the grief, the way that we move through grief.So a lot of men, and obviously when I say this, right, I'm not saying every man and every woman.This is just an average across the board.There's going to be people who don't fit into these buckets, of course.But what we know about men is that men often throw themselves into work.
41:13They talk less about how they are feeling and they want to spend more time in the action of staying busy.Whereas women, we want to talk about it.We want you to sit and listen and we want to talk about it because that's our way of process.of retelling the story of trying to help ourselves understand what has happened.And so then if you are in a relationship where both of you are grieving so differently fromthe other, we can see a lot of marital or partnership conflict because of that.So I don't know if entrepreneurs, you know, if there's a specific grief style for entrepreneurs,but men and women for sure.
42:03But then for the group of entrepreneurs who we know just love the work and the achievement,I would base my best, I guess, on what I know about grief,on they are probably a lot of them throwing themselves even deeper into work,meaning that they're not facing what is actually going on in their life.It's a dangerous combination.So good.Yeah.And I can relate to that even for myself.
42:30When I started my business, I started it in 2020.And I started it while my dad was in the hospital battling COVID.And I wasn't allowed to visit him.And he passed away after a month in the hospital.It was like the most devastating thing.I literally watched him die, not even like on Zoom and wasn't able to even see him until he passed away.And it was very traumatic.He was buried with his clothes on and his shoes on and his cell phone.
42:58It was like just the most traumatic thing.And for years, I just worked and worked and worked.So I'm better now because I actually hired my business partner, Jason.And now I'm able to kind of like just have a life and everything like that.But for years, I really did just throw myself into work.I'm so sorry to hear that.I didn't know about your father.And you opening up about that is so beautiful and so hard.
43:31And I think that where we are at now going into 2025, a lot of people aren't realizingwhat happens around the fifth year of grief.So if we go back to 2020, we all had these moments where we're in a pandemic, but then we'realso experiencing these personal losses, the loss of your father, the loss of my baby,the loss of what other people have gone through, right?So then the past couple years we're like,I don't know how to cope and no one is teaching me how to cope.So I'm going to do what I think is going to help me best.
44:07And because of my personality, because of what I want to build,I'm going to throw myself into work.And then you're like, oh my gosh, this company I just started is doing well.It's growing.It's great.And you can kind of run on that adrenaline high for a moment.until you start reaching these achievements that once the novelty of it starts wearing off,you can find yourself in this place of, I accomplished what I wanted to.
44:36I thought that this was going to feel differently than it does.And that is a very common feeling that a lot of entrepreneurs find themselves in is I won the award,I hit the financial goal, I have the growth of the company,I thought that I was going to feel differently than this.What is wrong?And what is wrong is that we have this grief that can't be pacified by these externalvalidations in our lives that we think are going to pacify them.And so now as we head into 2025, which is five years after, this major traumatic event
45:17for most people in the world, year five is the year.where you take a pause and you start really looking around and being like, where do I fit into liferight now and how do I want it to go moving forward? It's like one of the first years that youreally begin to take a breath because there's a little more time and space between now andthen. But as a result of that, a lot of emotions can start coming up as you realize that your lifehas continued to move on, but emotionally, parts of you still feel like they are stuck in the past.And so so many people right now are burnt out, they're burnt out on work, they don't know what to do next.And it's because we never gave ourselves the opportunity to slow down and to sit with our grief
46:11for as long as we needed to.It's so true.And it's like so bittersweet because I'm so happy that I did all this.Like I built my company is going to hit eight figures next year.You know, like I built this crazy company.It's amazing.Yeah.Like, thank you.
46:26Like, I built this awesome company and I have an awesome team and I love my life.But I really did.Like, to your point, there was a period of time where I was like, I can't just keep running on fumes.And I need help.I need a business partner.I need to kind of delegate and have some balance because you just can't do that forever.And I do think sacrifice is important.but you can't do it forever.
46:49No, yeah, it's not sustainable.So then how do we create a sustainable waywhere we can build what we want and love itwhile also acknowledging what it is that we've been throughand what does that dance look like for my lifeand what is it that I'm needing?And, you know, part of that,part of your gift of grief that probably came
47:10was your ability to grow this company to what it is now.And but now part of what might come next is, okay, I've built this.And so does that mean that there's a little bit more of a buffer for me to have some spaceand some resources to really make sure that I'm filled up inside so that my insidesmatch all of my external accomplishments?And that's something that was really hard for me over the past couple of years.I remember I would tell my therapist, I'm a huge advocate for therapy. I'm like, everyone shouldhave a therapist. So I love talking about it to just help people know it is so normal to go to therapy.
47:54But something that I would often tell my therapist is my insides don't match my outsides.Like what is happening around me? What I have in my life is so beautiful. But inside, I feel likethere's this just chaotic exhaustion that never goes away. And it feels.feel so out of alignment with everything that I see externally in my life, and I need those to startmatching up with each other. And so my hope is that going into 2025, a lot of entrepreneurs are goingto kind of hit this pause button where we can all kind of get a little bit more in alignmentso that our insides match our outsides. But when that happens, moving forward, we are able toserve and grow even exponentially from what we've gotten to to this point because we're going to have
48:46the sustainability, the internal resources to be able to do so. So let's get into some of that.Let's get into aligning our internal with our external like you were mentioning. So one of thethings that you talk about in your book is that we need to reframe our thoughts. First, I want toget clarity on like what thoughts actually are. Do you mean our current beliefs and like currentthoughts or are you talking about memories or those two different things?Talking about our current thoughts.So what we know about our thoughts is we have somewhere around 90,000 thoughts a day.And out of those thoughts, somewhere around 80, 85% are negative.
49:25And the majority of those negative thoughts are reoccurring.So then these negative reoccurring thoughts that we have every single day are creatingthis belief system, this internal world where if we say, I'm not good enough, or I'm nevergoing to get out of this situation, or man, I make stupid decisions, or I don't like how I look in themirror, whatever those stories are, become truly what we believe about ourselves and the worldaround us. Now, of course, it is impossible, right, to live in an internal world where we don'thave negative thoughts. We're human. That's part of how our brain works is we assess danger and we tryto figure out where we fit into things and how we feel about things to try to keep ourselves safe.
50:15But what we can do is start acknowledging those thoughts and then start reframing them so that we cancreate different habits and thought patterns that allow us to have a different internal world.So for me, that's one of the reasons I started using I am here.because I was just conditioned to be like, I want to leave.How do I get out of here?I want to escape.I want to escape.So then my belief had to be come.
50:43I'm here.I'm here right now.I'm safe to be here.That was then.This is now.And really becoming your biggest advocate for helping yourself reframe your thoughts.So walk us through how we can kind of keep tabs on like,What are the negative thoughts that we actually have?
51:06And then how do we uncover their positive roots?Okay.So I love this.One thing that I always suggest to my clients that I work with is just for even if it'san hour out of your day, a whole day would be amazing.But even if you only had an hour, take out the notes up on your phone or have just a littlejournal with you.And any time you notice that you have the negative thought coming to your head, I just want
51:31you to write it down.And I don't want you to have any just.judgment on it. I don't want you to judge your thoughts, right? Because then we can get into the cycle oflike, oh my gosh, I'm so dumb for thinking that or what's wrong with me. No, we're just, we're justgoing to be observers of the thoughts that are going through our head. And once we have all of thosedown, what I like to then do is try to get to the root of where those thoughts came from. A lot oftimes thoughts that we have right now came from things that we heard when we were little,things that we began to believe about ourselves from when we were really small. Sometimes the
52:11origin of the thought doesn't even come from us. So if you're able to sit with it and reallybe able to go back to the first time that you can remember hearing it or feeling it or thinkingit, a lot of times you can bridge that gap and realize that that did not even come from you.So once we do that, being able to sit with, okay, this is what I believe, but this is what I wouldlike to believe instead. This is my current thought, but this is what I would like to believe instead.And I keep it as simple as that and as gentle as that as we are working through these and beingable to write down what we would like to believe instead.Then being able to be mindful, whether it's then the next hour after that, after you have
53:07the thought come in, whether it's, I'm not good enough.Being able to call it out, okay, I understand that right now I'm believing I'm not goodenough and I acknowledge that. But what I would really like to believe instead is X, Y, and Z.And that helps us create a pattern where we kind of can help ourselves get out of this routineof having these thoughts that we don't even realize are happening. And we can stop them and callthem out. And then we just gently tell ourselves what we would like to believe instead so thatthat becomes something that we begin to start thinking about. Does it take time? Of course it does.but after those two hours, I promise you, you are going to experience a shift in feelings that
53:53you might not have felt for a really long time and uncover thoughts that you might not even knowthat you have. Like, you can reach the end of the day sometimes. A lot of my clients be like,I don't know why I feel this bad. I just do. I don't know where it comes from. I don't know why I feelso lost in the roles in my life. And we do this exercise. And after an hour of them writing downeverything they've been thinking, they're like, I didn't realize that I'm so hard on myself.I didn't realize that these are the things I'm consistently telling myself. So that's a really goodplace to start. And are there common thoughts that people have? And what would be the positivereframing? Like just so people have like examples. Yeah. So,
54:44one that is really common that I would argue the majority of people struggle with is I'm not enoughor I'm not good enough. So for that one, it's really important for us to do some work on where did thiscome from? When did I start feeling this way? Why did I start feeling this way? Did it come from me?Is this something I picked up on from someone else? And then being able to answer the question, well,what would it even mean to be good enough? And what areas of my life do I feel like I'm not goodenough that I can begin to focus on? So one of the things, one of the ways that I like to reframe,I'm not good enough is I am enough for all of the needs that my life has of me in this moment.I am enough to take care of all of the needs that my life has for me in this moment. And again,
55:43being able to find evidence, something about our brains that I think is really cool,is that our brains look for evidence that what we are doing is working.That's why journaling can be so powerful because we need to see something is written down.So when we write down our thoughts and then what we would like to believe instead,but then kind of keep a log to see our progress of, oh my gosh, today I only thought about this10 times instead of 20 or whatever that is, it signals to our brain, hey, this thing isworking, this is a good path for us to continue to go down, which is another reason why I recommendwriting things down. Another one that's really common is anger. And anger can show up in a lot of
56:24ways in our lives, especially when you're grieving because anger is easier to feel than sadness.A lot of times anger is a mask for sadness because we're too afraid to feel sad or we haven'tbeen taught or culturally, you know, some people aren't allowed to show their emotions or menversus women, you know, with gender and what's expected of us in the society, anger can be somethingthat masks a lot of other feelings. So something that I always think about with anger is,what do I love so much that I'm trying to protect that is making me so angry right now?because I feel like I've lost control of it.So for that one, I think that a lot of times the root for anger is actually love.
57:18I'm angry that I lost my kids because I love them so much.I'm angry that this person hurt you because I have deep respect for you as a human being.Whatever that is, a lot of times it goes back to love.So if I can start reframing my anger, allow myself to feel it, but then understand it's coming from a place of love, how then can I fuel that love? Anger is needing action. It's like it's signaling to us that there are alarm bells going off. We want to be in control of something that we don't have control of. So then how can we can take control to bring action to it? Who do you love? What do you love that's causing the anger? And then how can you show up for them? Or how can you be able to bring action to it? Or how can you be able to bring action to it? Who do you love?part of that cause or how can you use your voice to help them? And so helping do that can helpkind of shift our anger to actually have action behind it. That's so good. So basically,whenever you're angry, there's actually something that you love and you're really passionate aboutbehind that. If you can figure that out and lean into the love part instead of the anger part,
58:29that's really great. And sometimes though healing requires you to get pissed, right? Like there'speople who probably have wronged you and you have every reason to be upset at it. You have everyreason to just be so pissed off. And so I say, let yourself be pissed off. But at some point,that has to move through you. Otherwise, the one who becomes the most affected by it is you.And sometimes it's a love for yourself, right? So it might be just like pouring into yourselfbecause you love yourself. How about trauma? How do you reframe?thoughts and memories related to trauma?You know, this is a hard one because I want to first explain the difference between grief and
59:14trauma just so that everyone's on the same page.So you can experience grief without experience trauma, without experiencing trauma.So you can have grief, but there's no trauma attached to it.But all trauma has grief attached to it.Okay.Does that make sense?Kind of.How do you experience grief with no trauma?
59:34like, what's an example? So me and you could go through the exact same situation. Let's say we were atthe exact same event and something really bad happened. Based off of my life experiences, how I'mwired psychologically, my previous trauma, my previous grief, that event could be somethingthat completely traumatized me, whereas perhaps that event didn't traumatize you at all,but just gave you grief.So a person can go through the same exact thing,but not have trauma while the other person does have trauma.Got it.
01:00:13And so there's no like definition of, well, this is what trauma is.This is what it isn't.It's your reaction.Trauma is your reaction to an event.So as you're trying to process through trauma,we all need different things.And this is where I say,you need the help of a professional.
01:00:31because so often our brains are like, if you broke your arm right now, where would you go?The hospital.You go to the hospital.Like, no question.I'm going to go to the hospital.Well, if your brain is feeling like this brokenness because of trauma, so often we feel shameand we don't go get help.But we should also be going to a professional that knows how to help us be able to heal our
01:01:01brains. So there's things like EMDR, which literally helps you heal your brain. There's,you know, psychiatrists, there's support groups, there's places where you can feel safe to go getthat help because it is really difficult to get through trauma on your own. And a lot of timesit's so hard to that it kind of carries with you throughout your whole life. You know, I think right now alot of people on at least online have been starting to talk more about generational trauma and you knowwhy things are passed down from one generation to the next and it's because trauma literally physicallychanges your DNA and when no one is taking a breath to be like I want this to end with me or how doI heal it continues to be passed down through habits through our reactions through what we then
01:01:58teach our children how we teach how we treat them. And so I always recommend professional help for trauma.Makes sense. So something else that you talk about in your book is fear, right? So fear is somethingthat I think a lot of entrepreneurs go through, especially. We work in very uncertain areas most of the time.We don't really know what's going to happen next. So how do we reframe fear? What do we need to know about that?So I don't know about you, but for me, in entrepreneurship, fear can show up in so many different ways,but I realize I'm not actually afraid of that thing happening.I'm afraid of something totally unrelated, but I have attached fear as the label to the current problembecause it's masking something else that I just haven't, you know, dealt with.
01:02:52One of the ways, though, that can help us reframe fear is by doing the thing that we're afraid of.Our anxiety doesn't go away when we avoid the things that we're anxious about.Our fear doesn't go away when we avoid doing the things that we are fearful of.In fact, it just continues to feed it, right?So a lot of times we need proof, our brains need proof that it's not something we need to be afraid.of and we need confidence that it's something that we can handle or walk through or that if thingsreally do go south, I have confidence in myself that I'm still going to be able to figure it outbecause that's what life is, right? No one's life goes exactly according to plan. That's not what
01:03:41life is. It's what we want it to be. But then when we find ourselves shying away from doing what wereally want to be doing or really leaning into the areas of our lives that we know would light us up,but we are afraid of it not working out or us doing it wrong or losing everything. That fear justkeeps getting bigger. So the only way that we can start reframing that is by taking action on thethings that we're afraid of. And when it comes to action, a lot of people are afraid of failure. But as we allknow failure and growth, kind of go hand in hand. You have this awesome quote. You talk about dirt as afine place to start growing. I love that. So can you elaborate on what you mean by that?Yeah. So, you know, I think that so many of us were afraid of getting knocked down. We're afraid
01:04:36of falling flat on our faces. But it is in that dirt when your nose hits the ground, the only wayback is up. And a lot of times that is the best place for us to be able to really start ourgrowing journey. I cannot think of one entrepreneur who has not experienced a significant setbackor failure that then also helped them lead to the next steps of their career. Right?It's like, how could you expect to know exactly what to do if you never learned what not to do?Or if you never learned what didn't work?Or of course, like we have to fail.And no one wants to feel it.
01:05:27But it's also in those moments where we can really get a jumpstart on, okay, I figured this out the hard way.and now I'm going to do X, Y, and Z and have a clearer path forward this way.Honestly, I feel like people who are willing to fail, they're just so much smarter.And I meet so many people and the most successful people that I know just go for things andthey do it and it fails and it works and it doesn't work and they just keep trying and trying andthen they just get so much experience and they're such a well-rounded, skilled person.And then you've got other people who are just kind of afraid of makingany sort of change.
01:06:07They stay in the same sort of mundane jobwhere they don't learn anything new.And then they're stuck.And they don't really move in life, you know?And they stay stuck.And then the next year,because I hear from a lot of women who are like,I feel stuck here,
01:06:24but I don't know what to do.So I'm just going to stay here.And then a year goes by,and you still feel that feeling.And to me, that's way more uncomfortablethan trying something that does.doesn't work out so that then I can find something that does rather than feeling like I'm onthis hamster wheel that's not getting me anywhere and I know what's not getting me anywhere,
01:06:45I would much rather be the person that fails a million times to figure out where I actuallyreally want to be than the one who just feels like I'm stuck on Groundhog's Day every day that Iwake up. Totally. And so I think a great way to close out this interview, which also ties to whatwe're just saying, which is figuring out what you want to do with your life, is learning how to doa clarity map, which you talk about in your book. So first off, tell us about the five daily questions.You mentioned that you have five daily questions that you came up with years ago. What are thesequestions and how do they help us identify what matters before we move on to the next step?Yeah, so you can do these questions in as little or as much time as you want every morning.
01:07:30But the first one is, what is my intention today? The second one is, why am I worthy?There are so many of us who, when things are going good in our lives, we can start sabotagingourselves because we feel like we're not deserving of it. We are afraid of life feeling good again.We're not good enough to receive it. And so being able to sit with, why am I worthy for thisis actually really helpful to allow yourself to keep moving forward in a positive way in your life.The third question is, who can I serve today? Sometimes it's going to be yourself. This is a reallygood place to check in of, are there needs that I'm not meeting for myself or how are my employeestoday? How is that stranger behind me in the grocery store doing? What about my partner? When's the last
01:08:16time that we had to check in? That's a really, a really beautiful place to figure that out. The next one iswhat can I set down today or what can I let go of? You guys, we carry so much heaviness throughout our day,whether that's the fear, whether that's a responsibility for something that is completely offout of our hands, whether that's sadness for something that we can't control. But what can you justset down for that day so that you have energy to do these other things? And then the very last questionis, how does the truest version of me show up today? I used to ask myself, how does the bestversion of me show up today. But then I realized I would change my answer based off of, well,what is the best version of a mom or what's the best version of an employer or what's the best
01:09:07version of a partner? And I realized my answers were based off of what I thought other peopleneeded and wanted from me. So I changed it. And I now ask, who is the truest version of metoday so that I can show up as her and lead from that place of authenticity?and give the world who I am instead of letting the world dictate who I am.So those are the five questions I start with.Love that.Love that.So as we close out this interview, what should we be doing at the start of the new year
01:09:41when it comes to making lasting change and working through grief, depression, trauma,lowliness?What can we do as like a New Year's resolution this year?I love this.This is one of my very favorite things.We start with setting and intention.So I don't set goals and I don't set resolutions ever in my life.I set intentions.
01:10:04And I base my year and how I'm going to move forward based off of how I want to feel inside.And a lot of us haven't checked in internally for a long time.Like how do I actually want to feel?Do I want more peace in my life?Do I want more clarity?Do I want to feel like love is driving my decisions?What is that feeling?and I write that on a piece of paper, and then around that I draw four boxes for the different
01:10:31areas of my life, for emotional development, spiritual development, finances, or business,and then my relationships. And in those four boxes, I then set intentions for each of those fourcategories that match my overall life intention so that I can have a strategy in those four lifeareas to move forward in a way that's going to support how I am feeling right now in my life.And if that's something you want more of, we do a challenge every January about it.I talk more about it in my book and in my podcast.But check in with your feelings and then map out a life that supports your feelings insteadof starting with your goals.
01:11:16And that will help you feel more fulfilled once you bring everything to life.That's great advice.I think that's fantastic.So really just focusing on your intentions, not your goals.So Ashley, I had such a great conversation with you today.I end my show with two questions that I ask all of my guests.The first one is what is one actionable thing our young improfitors can do today to becomemore profitable tomorrow?
01:11:40Ooh, this is such a good one.I would say invest in your mental health.There's that return of being able to really understand who you are and why you are.how you are is going to profit you more than anything else in the long run and help you build asustainable business. And this one can go beyond business and finance. What is your secret toprofiting in life? Wow. This is a good one. Okay. I'm like, what is my secret to profiting in life?My secret is to create a piece as my priority. Being able to talk about this. This is so important.Yeah. Yeah. Being able to live.
01:12:22with peace as my decision maker and as the feeling that surrounds me, that has allowed me to profitin every area of my life more than anything else that I have ever tried to do. And so I base everydecision off of, is this going to invite peace in my life? Or is it going to be something thatprevents me from feeling peace? That's the thing, is pursuing peace to have a profitable lifein all of the areas that you want to feel it in.And when you say peace, because we, I, I didn't get a chance to ask you about this,and I actually really love this.So like, when you say peace, what is a feeling?
01:13:02Like, what is peace to you?Peace to me is the feeling that can't be bought.It can't be mimicked by anything else.It can't be something that someone else gives you.Peace is this internal feeling that comes when you are in alignment.with your life, with who you believe your higher power to be.When you are able to make decisions that invite in more peace, whether that is settingtypes of boundaries or whether that is letting things go that make you kind of feel chained,
01:13:41peace to me feels a lot like freedom.And there's a lot of things that can kind of chain us that make us lose it,whether that's like we feel chained to our job or to social media or to comparison or to toxicrelationships or to these habits we just can't get out of the cycle of doing because they've justbecome a part of who we are because that's what helped us cope for a long time, but now it'snot serving us anymore. There's so many chains in our life that we can have that prevent usfrom experiencing more peace. And so to me, peace is something thatyou cannot receive from any other outside source or thing.
01:14:26So good.I feel like that's my favorite advice from the whole episode is to make decisions based on if it's going to.No, the whole conversation was amazing, but that really spoke to me in terms of like makingdecisions based on what brings you peace and not.Is this going to bring me peace or is this going to make me feel unaligned?It's so simple.It's so simple.honestly, you can make faster decisions and decisions that support you more based off of that
01:14:57answer of doing the gut check of, is this going to bring me peace or not? And that's how I baseevery decision now. And it's changed my life and my business. And my family's love it.Yeah, I love that. Ashley, this has been amazing. Where can everybody learn more about you andeverything that you do? Gosh, thank you so much, first of all, for having me. And I would love to meet allof your young and profiteers. You can come find me on Instagram at Ashley K. Lemieux. We love hanging outover there every day. You can also come and listen to my podcast. It's called Healing Her.And if you are wanting, you know, more support on your journey, you can go to my website to see whatthat looks like at Ashley Lemieux.com. Amazing. Ashley, thank you so much for joining us on Young
01:15:41Improfiting Podcast. Thanks for having me.
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