ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 12th January 2023

Episode Date: January 11, 2023

*Explicit Content*Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley have a chat with their favourite Sexologist, Morgan Penn!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Try barista-made iced coffees available now at your local McCafe. Consider this your heads up. This podcast from Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley and Morgan. So that may give you away.

Our Morgan Penn, our resident sexologist. May not be appropriate for young ears. Yeah, don't do that thing where you just press fast forward 15 seconds there. Go next episode. Next episode of Kids Are In The Car, come back when it's just the adults. So here's some stages for you to leave. It involves sex. You're still thinking,

maybe I can keep my kid here. It involves female pleasure. Maybe we've lost a few more people. If your kids are okay with male pleasure but not female pleasure, now's the time to tap out. There you go. It involves the female ejaculation. And I'm out. Now I'm going to say the question I really want to ask is squirting wheeze.

Oh, my God. Morgan Penn, good morning. Morgan. Good morning. I looked you dead in the eyes and asked you a squirting whiz. I'm only saying this because I saw that you were posting about this recently. Yes. And it is an ongoing debate.

The mystery that is the female ejaculation. Oh, my gosh. And then, or colloquially known as squirting. Can I just draw everyone's attention to Vaughn Smith's little. Why? No, I'm listening. I'm the student in this class. He's listening.

I don't know anything. We don't want his input in it. Your little face, your beady eyes. My beady eyes! The ongoing debate, is it something else, or is it just you're weeing yourself a little bit? No, it's not wee. There are compounds of it that are

the same things that are found in urine, but it is not. It is a whole different micro system of proteins and hormones and things that are made up in the body. And so yes, there is mystery. There is mystery because there are still not sufficient tests

being done on it. Well, we need to take half of these scientists off covid which is kind of done now and get them on to squirt it we've kind of nailed the pandemic i'll call the prime minister what are you at what are you at university doing your doctorate or whatever and your thesis and switch my major yeah where do you do you say to the faculty okay here's what i'm doing female ejacaculation, and they're like, tick, go ahead. Well, honestly, they'd make millions because I have so many women that ask me all the time, am I peeing or is it squirt?

And they say, you know, there's a common theme here. One is that they all go to the toilet and urinate beforehand, right? So their bladder is empty. Well, they should save that for afterwards, shouldn't they? True. For a clean out. Yeah. Your UTI, you want to go after as well.

You don't want to be having... Squirting takes time. You don't want to... Here we go. This is good. Head into a long love-making session with a full bladder. So you've got to go for a wheeze before you make love.

Absolutely. How long are your love-making sessions going, Vaughan? Five minutes. And that's with a prayer at the start and a prayer at the end. It's important that, yeah. We say grace at the start. It's important that Jesus blesses. And our father at the end. You pray for a baby because that's the only reason you should be doing it.

Exactly. Missionary, of course. Oh, my God. What's amazing about this is that people have the feeling like they do need to urinate right before they squirt. Right. Because it's the urethral sponge that is being stimulated, right? So it's all in that area. But the body, all the excess water in the body, hustles down to that area.

It's crazy. It's like there's this, get down to the ureth the body hustles down to that area. It's crazy. It's like there's this, get down to the original lining. A call to arms. Yeah. And then for some Volvo owners, it's a lot. For some, it's a little trickle. For some, it's a puddle.

And for some, it's not possible. Where do you stand on that? We've got all the bits for this to happen. So for me, because I know how to do it, like textbook, I tried to do it to myself. I had to do it like eight times just to actually allow my body to open in that way. Because it's new and overwhelming.

Yes. And my body's just not naturally wired for it, but we've all got the wiring so some people it just like happens to them and they don't know what's happening some people can't control it at all some people can decide when it's going to happen yeah because you were posting about this on your instagram a while back for weeks like were you surprised at the response from people absolutely because it's just not something really talked about, is it? Was it squirting September?

You did Masturbation May. Was it Masturbation May? Yeah, yeah. And then Juicy June. Were you dabbling with Anal August? Yes, yeah, we did Anal August. That was right. Also, I will point out Vaughan messaged you to recommend the catchphrase Anal August.

I just saw a chance for alliteration. Which I appreciated. Maybe it was an unofficial squirty September. Yeah, and I've missed the boat. But next year. Squirty September. We'll be on there. Yeah, it's crazy what the body can actually do in the sexual realms.

And I think what's so funny is that it wasn't allowed to be shown in pornography like up until early 90s so it wasn't even a thing people didn't even know about it no yeah what do you mean it wasn't allowed to be shown were there some sort of rules like a classification around oh wow okay because i guess it looks like you've weed yourself so people be like oh if that's not what they're looking for in their pornography but yet everything else in the pornography was okay. Yeah, I know. I know. There was a lot of problems to deal with in that industry before banning that.

Yes. And I guess one thing I would say on this as well is that I have noticed a lot of men think it's a real achievement to make a woman do that. And so I don't like that bit of pressure that's been put on or women feeling like they're coming up less than for not being able to do that with their bodies because we just have to love and accept our bodies

however it's presenting in those kind of moments. It's all about pleasure, isn't it, at the end of the day? It doesn't have to look a certain way. No, absolutely. I love this. If people wanted to, you believe they should be able to learn. Yes, and I have held a workshop on squirting and i've had hundreds of messages from people the cleaners

you'd have to get those like crime scene go into the going and someone's like oh my god are you gonna kill me this looks like dexter's killed room you're like no this is Morgan's squirting workshop. Squirt lab. Well, you know when the firefighters turn up after a flood and they've got those industrial sucky vacuum cleaners that suck water? Drowning dead, big dehumidifier. So you hold these workshops to teach people how to do it to themselves

or how to do it to others? To do it to themselves. Yeah. And I'm always surprised the messages that I get back. Hundreds of people being like, wow, so that's happened. Yeah. You know? So do you think people want to learn to do it out of curiosity

or they think, like, I'll learn to do this because I can't do it? Or is there, like Hayley said before, is there any greater pleasure to it or is it just a different outcome at the end? I think it's a whole different experience for the body and I also think it's been sensationalized a little bit. And that's what I was saying. Like, I'm a bit worried about where we are going with the direction of it. But I mean, it is like the bodies are curious.

And like for me, I was like, I want to experience that. Like, I want to know what that feels like, looks like. That's an experience I want. And so I think people are just really curious. And they do think there's going to be a whole lot more pleasure, which is not necessarily true because an orgasm is still very different from ejaculating, squirting. So if you're listening now and you've always wanted to squirt.

You're still listening. MorganPenn.co.nz. And if you're a kid who's been left in the car where your parents just nipped in somewhere and this just flowed on from the last one. Holy fuck, I am so sorry. You should not have been left in the car by yourself. This is your parents' fault. You know that maybe if kids grew up

knowing that this was a possibility, it wouldn't have all this mystery around it. At a certain age. At a certain age, right. Oh my god, the mum's going to come back with a bag of cereal and toilet paper and be like, Mum, what's going on? Fountains. We're talking about the fountains.

MorganPenn.co. Okay. Fountains. We're talking about the fountains. Yeah, yeah, yeah. MorganPenn.co.nz for more information. Thank you so much for joining us for this little podcast special. Such a pleasure to talk about squirting in the morning. I counted 79 all rights today, Fletcher, but that's a new personal record. Oh, f*** off. How many of those did you count? 79 of those too. All right.

Well, if you enjoyed today's podcast, give us a rate and review. Oh, f*** off. How many of those did you count? Oh, yeah. 79 of those, too. All right. Well, if you enjoyed today's podcast, give us a rate and review. Oh, f*** off. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.