Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 30th October 2026
00:00From the ZM Podcast Network.This is Fleshwood and Haley's Big Pod.Brought to you by Chemist Warehouse.The biggest brands of the lowest prices.ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Haley.Thank you, Susie.Good morning.Welcome to the show.
00:17Fletch Vaughn and Haley, happy Friday.Happy Friday.Does anybody know my account name and password for the Wi-Fi here?Oh, crick.It's Vaughn.Shannon, are you going to miss Vaughan the most?Shandog's last day.I need some printing done before you leave.
00:34Oh, I bet you do.No, I don't.I'm only joking.Actually, that is a great question.Who is going to do our printing with Shannon?Hello?I also have access to the printer.I'm like it when Shannon does it.
00:45Kennan's nicer about it.There's just something about the way she stacks it.Yeah.She stacks a good printing.What?When you printed 200 colour photos on the printer and I snuck it around for you,so the work didn't know.My cat was missing, you know?
01:00They were lovely posters.I think Shannon's going to miss me the most today.She's quite confused by my energy.I've come dressed today for Halloween as the woman that your girlfriend's going to leave you for.Yeah, it's really confusing.And as someone who's dressed as a fish, it's just really messing with my hair.Yeah, so great.Is it a look sharp, a look sharp fish?
01:18Yeah, I bought this in 2021 and accidentally bought two of them.So I got a big old hood.Is it like Nemo?I don't know.I think I'm just uncopyrighted fish.I think he says uncopyrighted fish.And producer can't.when you've got, you're a hockey girl.
01:33Yeah, I'm headed rivalry.So is this both teams?Yeah, I'm half a shame, half earlier.You've got the jersey, which is half and half.And you went out and bought a stick.I did.Like an actual one.Actual hockey stick from a hockey stick shop.
01:47Yeah, yeah.We love the commitment.Yeah, I've always, I want to get into it anyways,but the problem is that they all practice at like 9pm,which is really hard.That's not for us.So now I've got a stick, so I kind of have to.Speaking of commitment, Vaugh, my God, the effort.
02:01I'm blown away.You'll see on our Instagram we took a group photoand Vaughn didn't make the photo.I took the photo.Excuse me, I'm wearing a wig.I've made commitment.Yeah.It's my wig.
02:12Do you know who I am?Are you that meme of Elijah Wood being like,Do you will be a big?I love that clip.Van Wittier will you have to Halloween todaybecause it's Halloween tomorrow.It is.Happy Halloween Eve.
02:29This isHalloween costume two of three for me this weekend.Because I dressed up yesterday as Freddie Mercury.Oh yeah, that was good.I want to break free for this gig.And no one knew.They thought I was just like old fat Dora the Explorer.With a moustache.
02:44Yeah, with a moustache.Yeah.Well, she's Hispanic.She probably would grow a moustache at that age.Yeah.Yeah.Controversial.Involence has got what bunny is.
02:54I'm good bunny.Jesus.And everyone's talking about bad bunny.Back in my day, we just called him waskily.Okay.Hey, oh, good bunny.By the way, Wi-Fi's not working.I'm off home.
03:06See ya.See ya.I don't think that's a human right.Shannon's made us lollicane.Yeah, I'll take a tray of lollicane.The top six is coming up.Yep.The headhunters.
03:19I don't want to get my gangs confused.I believe it was a headhunters pad was rated.Okay.Meth.Oh, no.Cars.Oh, dear.Pokemon cards.
03:28Oh, God.Pokemon cards.the new black market must have for all the gangs.Okay.A gang member's nerds.I got the tip.This is just the frantic demand for these Pokemon.I was in farmers the other day.
03:41Great shopping.I was buying some new panties.And there was a sign at the thing.I'm not even going to acknowledge that.You just did.We do not have Pokemon 30th anniversary cards.And we're all out of, apparently it's just like,really?
03:56People line up for them.It's chaos.It's crazy.Right.I love it.I love it.So the top six is involving this.Top six other collections for gangs to get into.
04:04Oh, okay.Great idea.For our gang listeners.Yeah.We know we have them.Yeah, we do.We mentioned it before and they message in.They did.
04:10They did message in.Good morning to our gang listeners.Peace and love to you.I'll have a photo with you.We're not running for Parliament.Yeah, I'm not scared.The Fletchborn and Haley, big pod.A German teacher spent 16 years on sick leave.
04:24Now, I don't know how this is possible.16 years.I know that teachers can bank up there.holidays and their sick days.Yeah, that's what they do.And then when they retire, they're like,now I'm sick.And from 63 to 65, they
04:38just get paid to not bear work.So, but that can't, what do you get,five to ten sick days a year?I mean, how many years would it taste you?No, they get more.They get more because of, like,because they get sneezed on by children.Yeah, basically.
04:49But, you know, I was talking to my friendwho's a teacher.They said that some teachers can retirein the last, like, one or two years,they're doing nothing.I know.We don't get to bank hours.No.
04:59Now we get five or ten?Ten, we get ten.Is that legal now?That changed post-COVID right.Didn't do you're in five?Jabs into tax earn.Who by the way I voted for?Didn't she change it from five to ten?
05:17Yes.But five's not enough.But is it back to five?No, it's ten.Well, they can't ask you to take a week off and isolate if you've got COVID,but I only give you five sick days because then one COVID you're actually like in debt.Yeah, yeah.Yeah. Well, I've never, I don't think I've ever taken a sick leave a day here at ZM.
05:34A sick day. Love a sick day.Have a break. Have a break. Have a break. Have a break.I've been thinking about it recently.You haven't had your big man flu this year. Have you just? I don't know.Did I have it early in the year?God, wasn't it last year? It was almost two weeks?Yeah, you were absolutely screwed.Oh, yeah. I go.
05:51Well, I tell you what it was. It was back in 2009. I didn't know you're not supposed to use that nasal spray.Yeah.any more than three days in a row.And I melted my sinuses.And I just got sinus infections so badly every year after that.You've got the sinuses of a finance, bro.Without the cocaine use.That symptom is see-through.
06:12Well, I don't know how this happened,but a German teacher, she is 62.She spent 16 years on sick leave.But while she was on, quote, sick leave,build up a successful beauty businessand took up scuba diving.Actually, smart.Use the time.
06:28While continuing to collect her full salary.Wow.It's like somebody said it's crazy that we waste our sick days when we're actually sick.Yeah, you don't.Don't.Yeah, no, go to work sick and make people sick and then fake them for long weekends in Australia.Long weekends, hangovers would be lovely.Oh, I reckon you should be able to bank up any time you're obligated to spend at work in a social situation.
06:52You know, your pizza parties, your monthly mingles.Yeah.And whack that.You know, that should either be paid out at overtime.time and a half, day in lieu, or just another sick day.Yeah, totally.Wild.So she had a chronic illness in 2009 and psychological problems.
07:07So she got like sick certificates.Yeah.She remained on full pay.And then she basically went medical assessments and was renewed for sickly for 20 years.God, that's gorgeous.What does it say with a chronic?No, it doesn't go into it.But it was found out.
07:25So she's having...But that's not an insurance thing?Like I have a friend.who became unwell.I think it's the state takes care of it.Because she had income protection insuranceand she got paid out for a couple of years.Oh, right. So she has to pay back
07:35250,000 euros. That's 500,000.Oh, she's going to pay it back.Yeah, she's been caught. Yeah, she's been chargedwith defrauding the college.Oh, so this wasn't actually by the book.Okay.Well, no, it was, well, no, she was faking.Yeah, it turns out she was faking the illness.
07:52Same.Because, I mean, scuba diving is one of those things.I don't reckon, if you're taking a stick day,you probably shouldn't be scuba doing.And if you've got a chronic illness as well.Probably shouldn't be.Scooby diving.Go to the depths of some Spanish bay or something.
08:05Oh my God, I'd love a paid, like a big fat paid year at holiday.Just one year, not even 16.Tell you what you want to consider a bit of garden leave.Bit a garden leave.A bit of gardening leave.But garden leave means I've lost my job.No, you haven't.It means you've got another one.
08:22With someone that your previous employee deemed a competitor.Oh, well, I'm open and interested.Kimis Warehouse Radio.I would do that.That goes pretty hard.It slaps, man.Yeah, yeah, she does.Lovely Georgia does that.
08:39But it slaps, the music they play in there.I'm always like, I could do this.I might come for her job.I'm just saying I'm sitting here.I'm open to all in any office.The Fletch morning, Haley, big pod.There is a ship.It's called the MV Odyssey.
08:54What is MV a Roman numeral?Is M something?No, that's the cruise companies.What is it MV?What's run by Villaville, I residences.But MV Odyssey is the name of the barge.Odyssey, I put Oracle.Okay.
09:10If you had to name a cruise shop, what would you call it?Because you know how there's those like Princess of the Sea?Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.Like Lady of the Ocean.Yeah, yeah, yeah.That one might already be taken.Yeah, it would probably is.Pussy Patoon or something.
09:24Oh, Haley.Well, I'm dressed as the woman that your girlfriend's going to leave you for today.Happy Halloween.I'm in character.So anyway, so this Envy Odyssey, let's call it the Odyssey, the Bode.It set sail on the 3rd of October, 24.So, two years ago.And it was on a three-year seven-continent voyage, which was pitched at C.
09:45Come live at sea permanently.Three years, seven continents.All over the world.All over the world.All it's going to do for a lifetime suite.Yeah.It cost you $390,000.New Zealand.
10:00Okay, let me do some max.$390,000 per person or per cabin?For the suite.Okay, for the suite.So is that two people?Yes, and the pay-as-you-go was $100 US a day,which was less a year.Oh, okay.
10:19Yeah, it's not that bad.But to have one of the lifetime suites,which is like you're living in this thing.You don't want to go stir crazy on a boat for three years.So they're quite big.Anyway, don't worry about it.Thus stranded currently in Cambodia,passengers got seven hours notice that the crews were like, oh, we're done.
10:38And it's because fuel prices are so high.It just cannot go on.So there's 203 passengers, 156 crew.There's an Aucklander in there, by the way.Oh, okay.Her name's Katrina Howard.She's there with her husband, stuck in Cambodia.Katrina and Katrina
10:54KatrinaYeah, yeahFacebookWe'll probably knowIt's New ZealandKatrina Howard and husbandSo if you goIt's 203 passengers
11:02156 crewThe ship holds 650She was showing offBack in MarchWhyShe wroteThe Herald did a bitA big article on her
11:10And so one keyThe couple's floating homeOn board the residential crewsYeah wellNot anymoreIt's kind of runningLike just betweenLike a third and a half full
11:18So it's likeNot making enough moneyThe monthly cost per cabinjumped from US 2000 to 6,000 because of the...Is that just fuel?The fuel.It's just fuel.Oh, wow.
11:29So they basically just pulled up in Cambodia and went, hey, can't go on.Like, let's start to arrange your way home.And then I'm guessing they don't get their money back for the remainder, the last year?I don't know.I'm just reading about it now.But the, they were saying, passengers were saying it was actually going quite badly anyway.They kept having itinery changes, really bad internet.The food was getting worse because they were trying to cut coffee.
11:52Oh, okay, yeah.So they were like, let's simplify the food.And they were constantly being asked for more fuel money every few weeks,being like, hey, are we able to just all ship in an extra?Oh my God, that's so, guys, hey, it's like when you used to take your car to, like,school stuff, and you're like, you know, road trip up to the beach when you're a teenager.Guys, but the good part was back when we did it, probably was five or ten bucks each.Yeah, yeah, yeah.
12:18That'd get you a lot of fuel.Now you'd have to be putting in at least 30 each.So apparently some of the crews going unpaid as well.Like they're really...They're just a quick skim of the article in 2024 in 2024 when she said we're doing this.Her husband works was going to work on the boat.Oh, okay.That's how they could afford it.
12:38Because that's what I was like, you'd have to be super loaded and retired to be able to do that.But people do this all the time.Like you can just live on a cruise ship for a year.Yeah.But I'm guessing like anything, the cost of living, it's...Yeah.All comes down.Yeah.
12:52We have the same all-inclusive buffet and drinks and activities and stuff.But apparently, yeah, it's like from the time they took off in October 24,the quality of the cruise has just gone down.I think most people it sounds like we'll just be happy to go home.But apparently...Is she?I've just found her Facebook page.Oh, really?
13:08Good to have you guys know.So you hear it from us.We're currently at home.It was a plan for us to see the family anyway, so we're safe.Oh, okay.We love every moment, but it's done.Yeah, right.Oh dear.
13:19The ship was built in 1993.apparently was all a bit tired.Really, yeah.Yeah.God, I was built in 1982 and I'm bloody exhausted.And a bit creaky too.I'm running on him, then.I need you guys are chipping for fuel.
13:34The ZDM Podcast Network.From the unmoderated comment section, this is the top six.Yes, hello.There has been a raid on the headhunters.Our gang member has been charged after cars, stolen cars.meth and stolen Pokemon cards have been seized.So where have they stolen them from?Kids.
13:58That's a, just rocked straight up to kids.Give me that charisota.I'm going to kick you in the guts.I feel like I've seen a few of these stories around the world.Gangs targeting them just because they're worth money.True.Just this huge demand for Pokemon cards.Retailers, like I remember we talked about it recently on air
14:15and someone said their kid is just like every, was it Friday when they drop?or every other Friday,they camp outside the storesto be able to get their handson these sweet, sweet Pokemon cards.Wow. Okay.So they're in huge high demandthese Pokemon cards.
14:32So that's why the gangs have got it on thembecause they just like stuff with, you know...Value.Yeah.Story from March and out of Canada,Pokemon cards, hot commodityas thieves aren't playing around.The focus of gangs.
14:46God, it's sort of...When I think of a headhunter gang,member, I don't think of themdoing like those YouTube videos where they're likeblind, you know, like, point cards.I love those.And then get a gold one.They're like, oh, ha, ha, ha, what is it?
14:59There's something, Fletch, where they openthe cards, but they don't look. They face them away fromthemselves. And they pick what? One ofthe cards, and they put it at the back or something.And then it's a whole, it's a whole thing.And then if they get one of those, like,the best ones always another last one. And they're like,quickly, quickly. And they put it in a sleeve. And they put that
15:15sleeve into a sleeve. And then they're like,he didn't keep it graded, baby.They cry.At least they're not doing drugs, you know.No, they're also doing drugs.Oh, they are.They're way cheaper to drugs.They're literally on the same table as the meth.
15:26And the car keys.Way cheaper to do drugs.But I've got the top sixcollections to rival,because I just loved the headline.Cars, meth and stolen Pokemon cards.Number six, on the top six,other collections to rival,
15:40cars, meth and Pokemon.Number six,Cash, Cities and Woolworth's little shop minis.Oh, yeah.A real gateway habit, wasn't it?Mm.You can get a little wheat books,box.
15:49Where are yours?Was it, what was it?New World did the minis?No, New World did the minis.And Willis did the bricks.Wynes did the bricks.Yeah, as I said it out loud.I was like, why it wasn't, it was New World little shop.
16:03It was.Number five on the list of the top six other collections to rival cars, meth andPokemon is pit bulls, pit bikes and beanie babies.Oh, beanie babies.Some of those are worth a bit of money now.1997 investment.Really starting to pay off now.Kind of like pine trees.
16:18You know, hang in there, grow them big.I've got mine somewhere.It's green and it says Haley.Your Beanie Baby?Yeah, baby.You get a personalised?Beanie baby?Yeah.
16:26Had Haley on it.Wow.Did Dad get that on a business truck?I think he might have.And to be fair, it was in the 90s where everyone was called Haley.Yeah, true.You know, so it was sort of south of same.About a spout a range of ways, though.
16:37Yeah, no, no, I got the H-A-Y.Number four on the list of the top six collections to rival cars, meth and Pokemon.Guns Weed and Lububoos.Oh, wow.Are we still doing libibos?I don't know.Producer Girlies, are we still doing Labubos?We're not sure.
16:52Famously, there's like a new cat range.Yes, that's right.But they keep being sold out.But we do, we're big into the Lama Tamas at the moment.I bought the girls are Lama Tama.Lama.When you ask them yes, no questions and they either nod or shake their head.We were showing you ours.
17:08I've been making all my life decisions.Fortune.I've lost a lot of money, but it's okay.Because I'm sure I'll get it all back.I don't think we should trust our money in a Lama Tama.A Lama Tamas is a fortune-telling, mystical electronic fortune-teller.You know, you say that, but should we trust our money with a bank, you know?I don't know.
17:25Dude, when the world comes crashing down and the financial systems go rogue and everybody's A-I's everywhere,we'll all turn to the Lama-Tama.Exactly.Have you got your Lama-Tama?Yeah.Yeah.Do you want to ask a question?Yeah, yeah, yeah.
17:37Okay.I've got one right here.I've got to turn her on.Next year, will Fletch Forne and Haley's Lotto Syndicate win big.It started saying no before you could even finish.Sorry, okay.Okay, great.Well, this year, Fletch Forne and Haley's Lotto Syndicate win big.
17:54It's nodding.It's nodding.You start buying those tickets.Start buying these tickets, guys.See you later.I love the line.I want a Lama Tama.I want a Lama Tama.
18:03I want a Lama Tama.Yeah.I got the girls at Lama Tama Rage,and I tell you what,it was all anybody was talking about at the weekend,the bloody Lama Tama Tama's.Number three on the list of the top sixare other collections of rival Cars, Meth and Pokemon.
18:15Tattoos, Titties and Fenties and Fenties andFunko pops.Oh, yeah.Are people still doing funkopops?I don't know.You get funkopops of things you like.Okay, right.You still do a funkopop.
18:23Number two on the list of the top six collections of rival Cars, Meth and Pokemon.Highlux's hash and retired Lego sets.Wow.Lego sets worth a bit of money?Oh, there's some retired Lego sets.Yeah.Yeah, yeah.There's a massive Lego heist day.
18:38There was.And every now and then the police will be like, oh, we've rated a thing and it's probably about $80,000 with a Lego.After they put the pieces together, solved the case.funniest one on the showFunniest one on the showWowAnd number one on the list of the top sixCollections
18:55Surribal Cars meth and Pokemonis motorbikesCocaine and Silvanian familiesOhAre we still doing SylvaniaFamilies?They came backYeah
19:02They came back in a big wayGirliesBack to the GurleysWe boughtSalvvanian familyBlind Boxes when we were awayin WellingtonFor the life to it
19:10It was our little treatI should haveWhat was your favouriteSylvaniaFamily?Mine with the raccoonsBecause they lookedThey were reformed
19:16formed. They're late in my lifedevelopment. I didn't have them as a kid. They're veryexpensive. Yeah, my rich friends had them as kids.Thank you. I was a littlest pet shopgrowing up. Yeah, littleest pet shop was whereit was at. We actuallyhad Toro because we couldn't afford Lego.Toro was New Zealand made. Yeah, it was.
19:32We literally have littlest peck shops on the desktoo. There's lots of trinkets out here.It must have been nice havingtoys growing up.Do it was the best. Did you guys haveKinex? No.Oh, jeez.Oh, we've put them together.
19:46you'd make robotic.Oh, they...They looked cool.Lego.Yeah.Man.We didn't have that either.I'm really like...
19:53I'm going to text my parentsand be like, thanks for that sick.I'm bringing.We had it all.I mean, if you were like nine now,you'd have a Lama Tama.I'd have Lama Tamas.I'd have Libibus.
20:01I'd have Lama Tams.Yeah.I would have been a Brats girl as well.Yeah.Rather than a Barbie.Sylvania families.Have your horrible body dysmorphia?That's top sex.
20:11Oh, they were thin.The ZN podcast network.Well, it was September.in Beijing, the woman's prohigh rocks event, took the worldby storm, not because of the incredibleathleticism,but because the winner
20:25shatter herself sobadly, it was liquid running down her legand the decision was...violently diuretic.She kept going, and everyone was like,this is not good. She's laid lowsince then. Finally,overnight, she
20:42has made a statement.So I've had some time to reflect over the past,six to eight weeks of everything that happened in Beijing.And firstly, I just want to say that I'm truly, truly so sorry to everyone that I affected,whether they were spectators or participants out on that race floor for my decision to chooseto continue to race.I'm here in Hamburg now, so I'm racing a couple days' time in the Elite 15, so I'm back outthere on the race floor, and I'm super excited to go back doing what I love and hopefully see you
21:12all out there.And don't shit yourself.And don't shoot yourself.actually take these pills for ityou can block that shit upI was really hopingit was going to be one of those situationsyou know at the end of Dodgeball
21:22when they beat Ben Stiller's characterso he stops doing all faults of fitnessand blows out and becomes fatthat was my kind of hopeshe's like I actually won't be doingany exercise going forwardand I have a partnership with Pizza Heartshe's had some media
21:36trainingdon't you thinkI thinkI mean I'd say soshe's definitely met with someonethey've made a planIt was well rehearsed, well...I mean, what can you say?
21:47Yeah.So she is in Hamburg and she's competing today.I mean, I guess she couldn't have turned up and competed without there being some attention,so they're front-footing it.She's done the thing.You know, like, she's done what she needs to do to keep competing.She's competing today in Hamburg, well, Friday, the 30th, so tonight, I guess, or tomorrow.Have a hamburger.
22:08In the Hirox's Elite 15 Division.And the comments are pretty split.There's a lot of people being like, good on you.You know, we live, we learn.And other people are just being like, so you should be banned.But remember, as a result, the future,the high rocks have had to implement new rules.So that anyone who was liquid shitting themselves will be stopped.
22:30Well, yeah, if we go to our Les Mills, High Rocks now,if we shit ourselves, we have to, I think, leave.Oh, we're still allowed to liquid shit ourselves at any time fitness.Are you?Yeah.Oh, no, Les Mills has done a complete ban.Has that?It's a pretty swish over there.
22:43fascists, man. They're everywhere.The ZM Podcast Network.Play ZM's Flashhorn and Haley.Who have you got a crush on at the moment? Could be a slib, could be the hottest man on the world.People's, what was it? Who was it?No a while.No a while. You know, could be the guy at the coffee shop who works behind you.He's back again today.
23:06If we could just, guys, if we could just get through the rest of the show, please.This is highly inappropriate.Now, why aren't we allowed to have?a crush anymore. Because TikTok is inundating us, is bombarding us with TikToks about the ick.Everything's given us the ick.If you wear the wrong jeans, you've got the ick. If you stand up wrong, you've got the ick.If we see your legs flutter in the pool, we get the ick. If we see how you peel a banana, we get the ick.And now it's just, we can't even look at someone and be like, Kyu, I've got a crush because we're going,
23:36what's the ick?What's the it? Find the it. Where is that? Let me just ick you out of my head.Really? And women are just acting like the only just sort of doing this.That's the most audacious part of this entire thing.Right.What is the name for it now?The ick.Oh, right, the ick.
23:51Getting the ick.Getting the ick.But I was like, I love having a little crush.It's got to always change.It could be, yeah, it literally could be the coffee guy.Right.You know, or someone that you see on the commute.Yeah.
24:02You get a little crush.You got a crush the moment?That's the better one.When you don't know the person and it's the mystery adds.There's a mysterious element to it.Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that sort of person.Yeah.Some messages in because you ask them
24:1596, 96, who's your crush?I'll be leaving my wife and childrenfor Olivia Dean when she finally says my DM, says Andrew.You've slid in, Andrew.Slid in.I mean, could you imagine if you were just likehanging out with Olivia Dean and you were like,hey, can I just like, for a laugh, look at your inbox?
24:33Yes, your requests.From like random people,there would be the most craziest stuff in there.And there'd be picks.I get crazy DMs.And I'm a two compared to who.I'm a negative two compared to Olivia Dane.I'm a two Olivia Dane.
24:51Les Mills 10.Somebody said lately anything that moves.Oh, okay.Gets a little crush.Definitely crushing on Haley and her tattoos.That's from a woman.Thank you.I've got a fake tattoo sleeve on today.
25:04I'll tell you what.It's itchy.Yeah, it's trying.That's going to.It's cheap.Be a reaction later today, isn't it?I can feel it blistering.Someone messaged in my crush, Hannah Waddingham.
25:13My husband's fully aware.In fact, he remembers her name better than I do.Strong woman energy.There's something for everybody there.Yeah, my mum messaged me the name was like, who is this woman?Oh, yeah.I think my mum's got to crush.From Ted Lassow.
25:25Yeah, she's the most well-known.But she's incredibly talented.She can sing, dance.She's an amazing.Shop.Very funny, powerful.My ex-boyfriend's still the hottest guy I know.Oh, dear.
25:37Well, you can't do that.You can't crush on him.No, you don't crush on him.He's your ex for a reason.You've crushed post-tense.But can you?Physically.I've got a crush on the blonde chick on killing Eve.
25:47Is that Jodie Comer?Yeah.She's so talented.She's so talented.Brilliant.My crush is Dove Cameron and now my partner and keeps asking if I'm a lesbianbecause apparently you can't just have a girl crush anymore.You can't have a girl crush.
25:59You can have an anyone crush.Right.Who's Ruby Cruz?If I miss some...Who's Ruby Cruz?Someone said both me and my partners.Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.I don't know who she is.
26:12Ruby Cruz is an American actress.She's been an actress.Mayor of East Town, Castle Rock, and most notablyin Willow.Okay.Okay, I don't, I've not,that's not come across my desk,but best of luck to you all.
26:25Vaughn's perving desk.Yeah, actually, I'm a hot desk that purving desk, too,you know, I move around.I don't, not stuck in one spot.Sandra Bullock, someone said.Yeah, I mean, when I watched Practical Magic, too,she is looking good.She's had just the right amount of work.
26:43You know what I mean?Well, especially next.You couldn't go on screen next to Nicole Kidman, who's had all the work.Yeah.And not have a little...I've got a dozen gym crushes and they all turn up during my workout.It's heaven.Now, I don't know anything about the person that's messaged in.
26:57Yeah.But it's a bit creepier if it was a guy saying it.Nah.Feminism is, I think, objectifying women's back.Is it?Is it?I don't know if it is, hey.It's feminine.
27:11It's feminist.Yeah.A crush, my crush is a mum down at the local cricket club.That's hot, you know what I mean?A mum down at the local cricket club?Oh, okay.Good Lord.Does she do the scoring?
27:24She might come along with some scones.Oh, lovely.Maybe she umpires.You may be.Maybe.It's that.She'll get out of here.My crush is producer Shannon.
27:33She sounds so cute and she's so funny.Oh.She liked that on her last day.She will, yeah.Yeah, yeah.I'm going to crush.Oh, okay, well, yep.Do you like that?
27:43I don't know.Do you want a right of reply?Like, I have nothing else to say.I mean, thanks.Just take it.Yeah, thank you.I don't think the goldfish costumes is going to do much for anyone.It's not the haughtiest thing you've run.
27:54It's not a bit.It's not a bit up all the way to the bottom, I will say, but I've had to tuck it to some short.It'll definitely be someone's thing.You did describe the goldfish outfit to me.I said, what do you dress as?And she said, a goldfish, I have to wear it with pants because it's too shortand I'll look like a horse.Okay, that was a private comment.
28:14I've never seen a goldfish.Well, it's got to zip all the way to the bottom.That's what I'm saying.It's a functional goldfish.I've got a crush on a popular New Zealand female comedian who isn't Haley,and I fully think I'd have a chance if we met in a bar.Well, tell me who it is.I'll see what I can do.
28:31You'll hook it up.Popular female New Zealand comedian.You'll be upset.It's not you deep down.Yeah, thanks for highlighting.you know, making sure we knew it.It's not Haley.More on Cricket Mum.
28:43She's a coach of the junior team and I play for the senior team.This has got heated rivalry written all over it, eh?A bit of sports, a bit of a hot.Yeah, it does.Courtney Dawson.I did a gig with Courtney Dawson last night.Slide in.You'll be all right, slide in.
28:58Or you won't be.Look, it's going to go one of two ways.I don't know Courtney as well as Haley, but it'll go one of two ways.14 past seven next on the show.I got congratulated in a store yesterday.And instead of correcting her, I just went along with us.Play ZM's Flash for in Haley.Yesterday I popped into spotlight.
29:15I'm planning, I'm doing a photo shoot.Can you believe it for my next year's comedy show?I just finished the last one.What is the next one about?Are you allowed to talk about it yet?It's my show.I'm not going to say the title.I'll wait.
29:30I've got a title now.Okay.Because what was this year's title?Sproul on the prowl.Sproul on the prowl.Sproul on the prowl.The best one yet.The best one yet.
29:37Yeah, hard to top.I'm aware of it.But it's about wellness.I'm going to put myself through trying a whole bunch of wellness techniquesto try to fix my broken brain.Okay.And anything other than things that'll actually work,like sleep or, you know, not drinking.
29:54Eating well, not drinking, yeah.Anyway, so I've got this photo shoot tomorrow for it,and I've been prepping all the backdrop and stuff.I had to go to spotlight and get some fabric.Now, the fabric I got was like meters and meters of white organza.It'll make sense when you see them.It's that thing that women have after like three quarters of an hour.Yeah, if you're lucky.
30:14The mythical organza.Once you're showering.Once she faked an organza with me and I'm off in the shower crying because I'm still not used to it.She opens a bedside table.A little friend, yeah, Generation 4.Yeah, yeah.And then fully organzas.And she has an big organza.
30:33No, it's a thin, lovely, sort of sheenie, chiffon-y, light fabric.How do I spell it?like net curtains.Sounds like,I thinkcolors and materials for menit's just like, it was blueand a woman will be like,
30:49no, it wasn't blue, it was.Yeah, it's serillians.Yeah, and you're like, yeah, whatever, it's blue.And it's the same with materialsbecause that just looks like,neck curtains, doesn't it?Look, I'm looking at it.Yeah, it's like light, see-through.
31:02There's only five materials in the eyes of man.Cotton, carpet, polyester.Neat curtains.Never.Plan, leave it.And jeans.Yeah, and denim.No, jeans is under one of the existing ones.
31:14Yeah, that's cotton.So, yeah, I get all this light, white fabric,and I bring it to the woman on the roll,and I say, how many metres?And I got 12 metres, like a lot of it, 12 metres like this.And she looks down, she goes, oh my God.Are you making your own wedding dress?No, no.
31:31What is this, the 1970s?Well, it was so, when you see it, is.And you would need that much material to make this epic wedding dress.So she just said, oh my God, are you making your own wedding dress?I don't know what was in my head instead of just being like, oh, no, no, you know, I'm doing this photo shoot.I went, I am.You leaned in.Yeah, yeah, you leaned in.
31:48Yeah, yeah, she's like, oh, my God, how exciting.Oh, my God.She said, oh, my mum made her own wedding dress.You know, no one does it anymore and you can get her so many things.How amazing, what style.And I said, oh, you know, full princess style.Jesus, you went all right.And she was like, oh, my God.
32:02Well, I hope to see it one day.And I was like, oh, you have to send a photo.Having an IBS flare up?because you could have also doubled it in the fake pregnancy.I know I could have just gaslit this woman into thinking I was...I met the most amazing woman today.Yeah, she...Honestly.
32:17Yeah, pregnant.Yeah, pregnant.Yeah, pregnant.Marrying herself. Marrying herself ceremonies.I used to get the vibe.She was marrying another woman, which is fine with me.Absolutely fine with me, but she was making this beautiful dress.I don't know why I lied.
32:28Not for me, but fine for me?Yeah, why did you lie?I don't know.I just sort of, I was in the mood.Sometimes it's just easy to go along with it, isn't it?Yeah, yeah.Explain it.I went into a shop yesterday.
32:37It's my girlfriend's birthday today.Oh, happy birthday.I bought helium balloons.Oh, okay.With her age.Oh, nice.And so she's turning 34.Yeah.
32:48And I'm about doing 45.Yeah.Nice.Yeah, thanks.And so when I got the three and the four and a little heart helium balloon.Yeah.And the guy was like, what order do they go in?He's like, is this for you?
33:03And I was like, no, it's not for me.It's for my girl.girlfriend and it's 34 and he looked at me straight in the eyes and he's like,nice man.I was like, thanks brother.Thanks, brother.Looking at you being like 43.Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
33:17Me or senior.So in my age and he's like, what do they go on?I have you done this?It's for my girlfriend.And the dude was just like, nice, man.Yeah, the face.Yeah, yeah, yeah.The face is giving doesn't know how to have sex.
33:28Yeah, yeah, yeah.She must be 43.You must teach me your ways.Yeah.Sense.Sense. I must know.Run a master class.Yeah, yeah, yeah.
33:38I actually had a good run in the shops.Oh, yeah.Because I bought some sanitary items.And the lady at the service, because I just bought heaps of them.And she was like, what a good man you are.Oh, nice.A lot of men are too embarrassed to buy these.Oh, God, we love it.
33:53Well, those men need to grow up.And then August needed some stage makeup for her school play.So I bought that.And the lady at the chemistry where I said, isn't Dad doing well?Oh.It was brownie points all round.Yeah, no.But the best was the brother at Look Sharp who filled up my balloons.
34:09Yeah, nice.Yeah, yeah, yeah.A little nod there.Nice, teach me, sense.The Dem Podcast Network.We want to know now, when someone was cheating on you, what was the sneaky way that they were communicating?Yeah.With the other person.
34:22Because, man, people get crafty, yeah.It's not just your texts or your emails anymore.Save contacts is something, you know, like Pizza Hut.Yeah.Because I always save Pizza Hut's number.I will give you $100 after payday clears today.Okay, caller, if you can prove they were using pigeons.How would they prove that?
34:41Well, they'd have to have the little folded up notes that went around the pigeon's legs.You use pigeons?I will give you $100 if you can absolutely prove to me beyond a doubt that they use pigeons.In the early 1900s or like 1800s, someone was cheating on their partner with pigeons.And they're like, send this letter to my love.Don't send it to the other guy.Send it to the other guy.You know the one.
35:01Went away.Off you go.Well, a recent study that's delved into cheatinghas said that 15% of people use a secret phone,a second phone, that they would just hide around the houseor take with them to communicate while they were having an affair.That's a bit cliche, though, wasn't it?And then one day, when they're putting it back in a hurry,
35:20they knock it off silent, and then the person's messagingand then the wife or husband hear them noise and find it.Another one, 17.Someone just said, a second phone in this economy?Yeah, wild, huh?So 17% of respondents had a second sim,so you can just get an E-sim.Or a lot of phones now just have two slots.
35:41You can have two slots, yeah.And so people could just be having a whole other simand you don't realize.I've got a wild message already.Well, this is great.This is what we want to know,because, yeah, people are sneaking around.We've also talked about the shared notes app.
35:55The study delves into that.A lot of people link a shared...Shared notes is so good, isn't it?Not for cheating.I mean, probably good for cheatingif you're under cheating,but just having shared notes is brilliant.Yeah, yeah, yeah.
36:05We do it for movies we want to watch.You know?Right idea.I'll write that down on the list.Yeah, well, that's the thing.Couples can use it for like,you know, shared calendars and notesand it does work well.
36:14But for cheaters, I guess you're not getting thenotifications right when it's coming upin the notes app.You're just in your notes app.It looks inconspicuous.In and data.Listen to this one.My now husband, brackets, we worked it out.
36:28What?Oh, wow.Okay, well, good on you.Now, you know, judgment from us.My now husband put the person he was cheating with as my name.So if I saw calls or messages, I didn't think twice because that's my name and I have been calling and messaging him.No.I found out when I was using his phone and I called.
36:47That's wild, eh?Oh, wait, so you're using his phone and you start, your name pops up as making a call.Yeah.Right, yeah, that it is possible.Calling, Haley Sprout.The second secret phone was all fun and games until we got one of those secret tester.mom's about a tsunami.And it wouldn't stop going on.
37:06That's mine.That's yours.Whose is that?Holy shit.That's brilliant.Okay, well, this is what we want to know.What was the sneaky way they were communicating while cheating?Because people are using shared notes.
37:21Shared notes, second phones, second SIM cards.We had the first text we read out was the guys just saved his mistress's number.under his wife's name.So when the wife saw it, she was like,oh yeah, those are our messages.So this article that talks about this cheating studytalks about couples therapist, Esther Perel,who you love, who has a great party.
37:44Yeah, she does.Where should we begin?She said that any infidelity is organized around secrecy,and she then goes on to say that affairs make people feel excitingly more alive.Well, we talked about that with the guy who wanted to, you know,my little five-minute therapy session.Yeah.It's sometimes, like, how far can you push it,
38:01is the thrill.Like naming your new baby after the woman you're cheating on.Step too far.Yeah, step too far.Okay, let's get into it.There's so many.And some of them are in sign.Someone said LinkedIn.
38:13They were having some very scandalous chats through the LinkedIn chat.Wow.LinkedIn.They kept telling me that job opportunities were abundant.Right, yeah.In my pants.Yeah.I got a job in my pants for you.
38:29Are you qualified?She was messaging her ex on Microsoft Teams,but we all work together.I might send an OIA request for the full transcriptwhen I'm feeling a bit messy.Oh my God.If it's a government agency, you could.Official information.
38:45You could because...Is that what that is?You can request any emails or correspondence.Yeah, absolutely.Which they said, I might send it when I'm feeling a bit messy.Get messy.We need to say this.Get messy.
38:56They played the eight ball pool app on yourphone and it's got an in-game chat system so they just play a game of pool and they weredirty chatting in 2026 well can we just cross over to producer Shannon by the way it's her last dayhow are you going with your guy from Scrabble that you've been messaging overseas and we saidit's giving flirting it's giving a fair oh my goodness the other day he played a dirty word and I wentback with the like wow emoji and he was like sorry it was the best points possible I'll tell youHe didn't want to flirt back then.So currently we've played, I've won 33 games, he's won 43.
39:35The gap is closing.I am doing quite well.Have we found that anymore about him though?No, no, but he's taken up a new job because he worked at a university, I know.He says, I'm playing less because my new job's a bit intense.I said, sorry, brother.But now I'm going to be working opposite hours, so I hope we can still.Yeah.
39:52No, but hours might be better.Yeah.Did he say what his new job is?No, I just know he was a university lecturer.I don't know a husk follow-up questionBecause I'm trying toWe're rivalsBut you can chat unlimited playing the Scrabble
40:05So you could literally be communicatingOn this gay mapAnd cheatingWell that's another oneOn our InstagramWe asked on InstagramWe asked on InstagramThey were cheating over words with friends
40:15YepWhich is likeSame thingsGrabberleSnapchatBut he'd block herEvery time I got homeAnd unblocked her when I wasn't home
40:22OhI was someoneSomeone's admitted their own wayI was having an affair with my boss's wife.Oh, okay.I was 21, she 33.She ran the office, the boss's wife.Yeah.
40:37And would call me in for a meeting to get a midday patch session.Then after work, she'd go on a drive and would meet for some fun times in her mum's in her mum SUV.This was 22 years ago, by the way.Oh, my God.22 years ago, what would have been the mum issue?Because the SUV?Rev four.Well, not mum.
40:56The bubbly one?The bubbly mum four.No, because it's not big enough for the mum.Mum needs something with kids.The old row four was a two-door situation.Yeah, one of those Toyota.I don't know.Juicy.
41:09Yeah, I don't know.Could have been the...She didn't really alfie if she's a mum driving a Toyota.Probably a pahiro.A pahiro.The Mitsubishi pahiro.That was the mummy SUV of the 90s and 2000s.Damn right. Dad had towed the boat with it on the weekend.
41:26And little they know what mum was up toAnd let us know how roomy and make a model pleaseFollow up textSomebody saidThere's so many different onesThey weren't even sneakyWe were friends with the personAnd it wasn't abnormal for them to text or call each other
41:42And it turns out that they were just to hook it up behind my backYeah sometimes people are soSo open about itGrand theft autoWhat?Oh, in the gamesThey play Grand Theft Auto with themAnd
41:51Because you can talk right to your other playerso there wouldn't even be a record of it, right?We have an update from Boss's wife.Okay.We got caught and both lost our jobs.Well, she probably lost a house.And then we got married and had kids.What?
42:07And split 13 years later.I now tell everyone, go for it.Oh my God, that story is absolutely why.But wait, we didn't get to make a model.We need to make a model.There was a scandal involving some high-level military guy in the States.He and his mistress had a shared Gmail accountand they'd write all their messages to each other as,
42:25sent draft emails and then delete them after read-in.Oh, that's genius.That's very genius.Yeah, someone did say, thanks.There'll be a lot of men just taking notes.Yeah. Oh, that's great. Oh, that's great.Did we confirm it was a Honda Odyssey?No.
42:38No? It was a Honda Odyssey.The Mum Wagon.Not as big as not room as I thought.So what are we talking to 22 years ago?Would have been 2004.So let's say we're pretty a couple of years old.Yeah.I'm going to get my arms on a 2002 Honda Odyssey.
42:50Did the back seats flop down?Could you pop those down?Yeah.Not bad for.a nimble 21-year-old, but if, you know,in your 30s and 40s.Yeah, well, mum might have been a young, agilemum. Yeah, that's true.
43:02Oh, no, that Honda Odyssey, that wasn'ther messaging. Oh.Chrysler, she just messaged.Oh, okay.That number. It was Chrysler.A Chrysler, one of those,what are those ugly cars?Yeah, those were ugly things.
43:16Oh, guys.They were in a Chrysler. Someone just messaged,damn, my wife's not letting me listen to ZDM anymore.Because of all of these ideas.Or you should all be listening togetherso that you know you can't get away with itbecause she now knows every way you can possibly chat.Yeah.
43:32I mean the best thing is just to have a separate familyin a whole different city.Just get a separate family.We've literally our country split into two main islands.One in the south, one in the north, flawless.Play Z-N.Fletch for them.Hey, Lee.
43:44Little pollas, do you like blue cheese?Me, myself, love a blue cheese.Stinky of the better.Give me a big vein of blue cheese.I get a yum-y-y.Never used to.And then it was in some food.And I was like, okay.
44:11Salad, eh?When there's honey with it.Yeah, honey.Yeah.That's the good stuff.Some cranberries, maybe some spinach.Yeah, yeah.What about a blue cheese sauce on a steak?
44:21Yeah, lovely.Love that.Yeah.What about blue cheese on a pizza?You know, like a four cheese pizza, but then there's a little blue.You're like, oh, you're naughty little beer.What are you doing in there?Oh, ooh.
44:30Oh, daddy.So, do you like blue cheese?60% of people said?No.No.Oh, not for me.I knew.60% said,
44:3940% said love it.It's footy.It's quite footy.If it's on a cheese board, I just won't eat it.You won't go for it.I like it with stuff or I'll mix it with other foods.Really?You won't just have a trunk of blue cheese.
44:52I mean, maybe, but...On a whittal quacker.Yeah, on a whittal quacker.But I wouldn't go back for blue cheese after blue cheese after blue cheese.Yeah.On a whittle quaker.On a whittle quaker.On a whittle quaker.
45:04Some feedback on this.Nicky said it's amazing.Creamy, tangy, great in a dressing on a pizza.on a chakutari board and a salad, just amazing.Big fan of blue cheese.Hannah said, oh my God, I read this too fast and just saw, do you like cheese?I immediately said, yes, it's the best.Then I saw you said blue cheese, and I've recoiled like I've sent a nude to my ex's parents.
45:23Oh, no, no, no, no, yuck, yuck, rotten hal.Next to mushrooms.Okay, Hannah needs to answer.Hannah, you should do a barbecue mushroom, some blue cheese in it.Now we're talking.Fungy meets fungi.Yeah.Mold on mold, baby.
45:36Caro says, Castello Blue, baby.Got to love the Castello blue.That's the thing yesterday, because we got onto this because we talked about blue cheese.Allergic, being allergic to it.Being allergic to it, then ask the series of callers if they liked blue cheese,then we took blue cheese, and then we got into our favorite blue cheeses.I've been sent so many people saying, oh, no, you've got to try this one.I'm like, oh, no, I have.
45:55I love that one, too, and I've just realized I just love all blue cheese.We love blue cheese.Just love blue cheese.I'm going to get some today.I'm traumatized from day trips to France as a child,and driving around all day with stinky blue cheese in the car, says Sam.Wow.What a vivid memory.
46:08Yeah.A stanky vivid mess.I wouldn't want that in the car.The most first world of problems.Driving around France.Then we would go on Daitroups to France.Father liked to purchase a big blue cheese.French blue cheese.
46:21Bex said never tried it so I can't answer, but thanks for having me on the show.Great.You're welcome, Bex.Cecilia, not by itself on a cracker, but love a blue cheese sauce on a burger or on a steak.Yes, on a burger.Burgha.Burgha.Tangs through.
46:36Tangs through.And Horano says, it tastes like how.toe jam smells.Oh!So, for Sylittle Poll today, we said,do you like blue cheese?Do you like it?40% of you.
46:48Love it.The ZM Podcast Network.Play ZM's Flesh Forne and Haley.This band announced they are going to playfor the very first time in New Zealand ever.They will be supporting Weezer,who also announced this week that they're coming back to the country next year,who I, one of my favorite bands.
47:05Love.And live, they're just brilliant.We saw them do the entire blue album.Yeah, in like 2012.Yeah, it was a while ago.Legend, it's iconic.They're also coming with Stacey's mom, Fountains of Wine.Stacey's mom.
47:21And the band Third Eye Blind.And that is going to be today's Friday flashback,because this song is nearly 30 years.Yeah, it is.It's nearly 30 years old.It was released in 1997, at the start of 1997.You'd say their big.radio song.
47:39Yeah.The song that made them famous.This is going to be the best night.This song about...What is it about?Well, he was at a concert and he witnessed his friends doing crystal meth or they werewatching the band.So then he wrote this song.
47:55This is an interesting fact.He used to the guy in the band, Stephen Jenkins, used to flat with this chick.And they jammed that song.Yeah.And one of her songs in their living room and combined.those songs, those two songs, sold 17 million copies worldwide.So Fletch, who was that chip?It was Linda Perry, this chick from Four Non Blancs.
48:19How good.Is this on our roadies playlist?It is.It's also my go-to karaoke song.Is it?And I'd tell you, at the end of a night, those notes are hard to rate.Especially.No excuse, though, Linda Perry was not afraid of a dart or two.
48:32Oh, no.How deep she gets in the start, how high she gets later on.How good.It's a sad, all this joyous, joyful music,and it's a sad day in the studiobecause our producer, Shannon, is leaving usto take up the position as night show host here on ZDM,which is, and it doesn't need us anymore.
48:52We are proud of you.The honoured mantle.Do your social media plug?Hang on, I'll turn your mic on, sorry.Shocking.Shocking.Follow ZDM Late Show on Instagram.Maybe.
49:03Yeah, maybe.We'll see.Or you have to because we're going to have no content on our page.Who's doing the social media?Should we for the very last time?Yeah, okay.Oh, Fletch.Oh, for God's sake.
49:16You didn't even have my fader up.You're dropping the ball.And also, what's your Halloween costume?What is it?It's quite obvious.You look like grown up Argyle of stranger things.It's very obvious.Clearly, Vaughn is a bunny.
49:28I'm a rabbit.Clearly, Haley is a lesbian coming for your girlfriend.Clearly, Shannon is a dogfish.Clearly, Carwin is a hockey player.Yeah, well, clearly, it's obvious.You are.figure it out. It's ArgyleAustralia. No, it's not. It's not. Okay.
49:42Play Z-M. Fletch for him.The last timeever. Two loops. Two loops. Here we go.If you see a faded signat the side of the road that says15 miles toShannon's head.Shannon's hurt, baby.
50:03God, Shannon, we never did get in the studio.Yeah. To make you a jingle.We could probably do it Monday. I've got time Monday.actually, butShannon won't be here.That was the whole vibe.This us singing along to an instrumentalof the B-52's Love Shack
50:17was just a placeholderuntil we got into the studio,but now she's leaving, so I guess...Do you know my best friend said to me,she's like, do you think the guys are going to get you a leavingpresent?Do you think they might record the intro?And I said no.
50:28Is this your best friend that threatened me with violence?Yes.At the Christchie show?She's like, four foot nothing.I'm six foot two.This little scrappy doo is likeme, about a lot of years!Yeah.
50:40I was just like,All right, Sprite off to the forest.Well, actually, if we just take pause,we did get into the studio.You're kidding.I am kidding.A studio of sorts.Please enjoy a studio of sorts.
50:57Shannon's Hacks, new jingle.Here comes.Max von Haley gather,a fix.One clever ass, but she says I can.Shannon's Hacks.Wow.I'm so honored.
51:31I'm going to say I'd prefer the original.I'm so honoured you didn't use AI.We would never, we do not accept slop.We do slop on the show.Haley did drink 45 litres of water while making that.Honestly, I was thirsty workbecause I had to do layering all the harmonies.And that voice gave my voice, Shannon was really harsh.
51:50Yeah, wow, thank you.You're welcome.Okay, well, we need the last ever Shannon's hack.Yeah, so I've got my handbag here with me.And Haley, I've explained so many hacks.I have never seen that handbag before in my life.I'm not a handbag.I own one handbag and it's this.
52:05It's cute.Kind of long.I bought my, it's called a bag.Oh, beg your pardon?Because it could fit a bag of it.Yeah.I've explained so many hacks on this show.So this is my real handbag.
52:15Yeah.I want you to find what the hack is.There is a hack in this handbag.You've discovered my handbag just so you've come across it.I want to use.The bag is just a hellscape.Yeah.Yeah, yours is a mess.
52:26Indicative of life.Your life.You can move this down to see it is.Oh, yeah.Okay.I'm just getting into the handbag.This feels quite invasive.No, no, that's all good.
52:35Okay, so inside there's a hack.I've got a sanitary pad.Never know.I have a tin of eclipsments.What's the best before date?29th of April 27.Okay.Oh.
52:46I have a lip balm that we got from the chemist warehouse thing.I use this all the time.Yes.There's a Brazilian, you know, the spray.Oh, yeah.The nice spray.Yeah.The bottom-bum cream people.
52:56I have some...Wait, does that attract Brazilians?Come here.Just get a bit of that on.Yeah.He doesn't need any help attracting Brazilian.He doesn't really.He gets the most of us.
53:06He's got to something a little bit special.We have some contact lenses.Thanks to Latam Airlines, actually.Latarme Airlines teamed up with that smell.The Brazilians have come flop.Beautiful. Contact lenses.So kind of just scrunchy.Normal stuff, right?
53:17Yeah.And another contact lens so the other eye would be screwed.If you came across my bag, right, you're done?You haven't robbed me or anything, have you?You put it back.Yeah, there's nothing in here.I would be like, yeah, I've got to take that.Oh, it is there.
53:30Wait, Hayley, there's a false bottom.Is there a false bottom?You can't call them that.No.I want you to think about all of the hacks you know about me.I want you to think about, you know, the history of this segment.I want you to think, where would I hide money, Haley?And one of the things.
53:51In the Eclipse tin.It's in the pad.It's in the sanitary pad because a guy would never open that.Oh, that's brilliant.It is a 50.I just hid a $50 note in a sanitary pad.No one would rob me.No one would rob you.
54:04No, because guys aren't going to go through that.They're just going to be like, oh, it's a pad.This hack would work at the beach, at the club.Oh my God, yes.If you were at the beach and you leave your bag and you go into the ocean,you know, you always kind of keep in an eye.But a guy could come and be like any money.Ooh, pads, vaginas, gross.
54:17Bleeding.There's 50 bucks in here.Yeah, but it's still not going to stop him stealing the whole handbag.But I'm thinking, if I'm imagining it at a club,potentially someone's going for a quick rifle.They're not going to take that.They wouldn't take that.Great hack.
54:30I saw that personally just as a pad.Exactly.I would have missed out on 50 bucks.Exactly.Let's discuss.Well, what do we do?I've got two questions.Where did you get 50 bucks from?
54:42My boyfriend, I asked for it.My first thought when I saw it.50 bucks.In this economy?On the pay day before the money's come through?I said, can I have some cash?And I was imagining a 20.He only had 50s.
54:55I said, okay.All right, daddy.And he hasn't explicitly asked for it back.So that's giving me.That's free.That's yours now.Just say I took it.So to, I'm not sure what the hack is.
55:05Hide your money.Hide your money.Sanitary pads.Now wait.Somebody has just message in saying this could actually help drug offenderssmuggle drugs into festivals and other places.Someone has messaged.That's not the hell.
55:18Someone's messaged.Now that's not what we want, is it?So what actually.They literally said that was my hack for getting drugs into festivals.I'm just saying that this could.We're not pushing drugs on the show.No, we're not.And it just feels like that's a point off.
55:29Oh.I was going five, but I'm down to four.Because I'm anti-drug, and I will not stand for that.Right.You can put your cigar on your vaginal health.Notes.Oh, yes.Change hands a lot.
55:42And now you put it on the pad.The pad will soon be in contact with the vagina.I know how these things work.The vulva.I did put it in between the wing and the pad.I did slide it through.I put it back on the skin of it.Yeah.
55:56Are we down again?3.5 for vaginal health?Something that show is passionate about.Vaginal health minus one star.So we're down to three.Any other critiques coming through on the text?Or are people loving the hack?What's the feedback?
56:08You could hide mini bottles of wine.Guy, down to a two.We're not smuggling anything in.Well, now they know to take the pad.Yeah, because we've talked about too much.We've made people aware.It's kind of like the cheating phoneer we just did before.So that's probably another star.
56:27Okay.Well.Two.Two stars, I think, for Shannon's final ever hack.Are you happy with two stars for your last one?Yeah, I mean, I kind of clocked out like two days ago, so I'm actually true with that.Yeah, she's been a lot lippier, hasn't she?I've made so many of your mum jokes this morning.
56:43She actually has.She actually has, dragging my mother's name through the muck.Now, which jingle would you, so we're going two stars, which jingle would you like?I think we go class.OG.OG.OG.Okay.
56:53I worked so hard on the other one.Effort into the.Yeah.Okay.Two stars.Two stars.Two stars, and we love you, Shannon.Have you see a faded sign at the side of the road that says two stars, Max, for Shannon's half.
57:12Two stars, baby.Play ZM's Fletch, Forne and Haley.It is producer Shannon's final day as our producer, and we're very sad to leave you, but you're not going far.Yes.You're the night show host.Yes.I'm moving far time-wise, but not distance.I'll be in here every day
57:33And your mind are you moving backward in timeOr forward in time?I thinkBecause technically we're closerIf you go backwardWe start at six night show ends at 12Is that right?That's only six hour gap
57:44Whereas if you take it from the end of usTo the start of your significant understandingYeah, yeah yeah yeahYeahWell if you guys want to show up earlyI'll hang around lateWe could hang out at about 3 a.m.No, that's not going to happen
57:53NoNo, we're very excited for youAnd we're very excited for youAnd we're very excited for itWe are going to miss youYou are so talented.You're such an amazing part of our team.Honestly, we're genuinely gutted.
58:06You're so, everything you do for us,all of our socials have just been amazing.And, you know, the hacks, really.I mean, yeah.They fill a break.That's true.You know, Shannon has filled some breaks.We've got you a couple of little things to take on your journey.
58:25This is, this one's from me personally.The boys didn't continue.We knew they couldn't be too big because you're a part.But this present, Vaughan and Itransferred money to Haley?No. It's a hand-me-down.Oh. Okay. Why did Itransfer money to Fletch to transfer to Haley then?
58:41Well, this is just a little somethingfrom me. You know,through health things, Shannonlost a bit of weight. And what became veryclear to me is I was never going to lose weight again.And so Shannon was inheriting all of my skinny clothes.Right. This is a jumpsuit that I havenever wanted to part with
58:58and I just have accepted it's never going to fit.I looked at yesterday and I thought that's Shannon.Oh, thank you.That's very whimsical.That is very cool.It's very cool.Size 10,you know,
59:08I was just not going to happen.Thank you.But we have something for you,I guess,to take and pot up at work.Are you going to work in this studio or next door?I've also transferred money for this present.Yeah.
59:20Yes, I will work in this studio.Did I transfer money for this?No, I don't.Did we have to transfer money to you for the initial present?It apparently was a hand-me-down saying.I know, financially I feel like I'm being spun around here.work it out.This is just something
59:32so that we're always with you.Oh, oh.And that you're always part of our team.Oh, oh.And so you know that we will always protect youand we will forever be Shannon's guardians.It's a group photo of us asI'm going to jump the gun and say
59:48AI crochet.Who bad gun has been jumped.Yeah.Yeah, and it says forever Shannon's gun.That's very sweet guys.Forever Shannon's Guardians.Wow.That's cute.
01:00:00We are going to miss you though Shandong.We are.Thank you so much for all of your amazing hard work.You work just tirelessly and endlessly.You do so much more that people don't see.It's been a crazy four years.I can't really believe.I feel like I became an adult.
01:00:15Remember how I used to eat raw chicken like all the time?All the time.And it was like not in the fridge.Yeah.I feel like I've grown up so much.Wait a minute.I don't know if you're eating raw chicken.What are you talking about?
01:00:25I didn't know how to live pretty well.You know, I just kind of.Was she eating raw chicken?Yeah, she was.Well, because I would just cook it for longer if I thought it was expired.And then it was just like...Oh, yeah.I mean, that's...
01:00:36To get the taste away, she'd cook it longer.Yeah, that green slime.You've got to get that green slime.Cook that away.No, I will miss you guys.Thank you so much for all your support.I don't want to get emotional.I'd rather have a cocktail loader.
01:00:49Yeah, let's do that.Great idea.Great idea.Well, you can listen to Shannon at night times.Follow the Z&M Late Show on Instagram.Seven till midnight.Every night, baby.Still part of the tip.
01:00:59ZM Podcast Network, ZDM's Flesh, Born and Haley.It is time for...Fact of the day, day, day, day, day, day, day.Someone just messaged in before, re Shannon's hacks.They thought that was a pre-recorded jingle the entire timebecause we're so consistently good with it.You see, there's no need to record it in the studio.It's the same with fact that we do that.
01:01:34We do that every day.I think it really shows off that this skill has, you know,so this station is so multi-talented.We sing, you know, we come up with all sorts.We sing poorly.Yeah, yeah.Shut, that's hucks.So today, the final entrant for amusement or carnival rides week is...
01:01:53Guys, I'm sorry, does it smell like a Brazilian.That stuff's really smelly.Yeah, that's the Brazilian bumam cream.Yeah.It's a beautiful scent.Yeah.It's really nice, isn't it?Yeah.
01:02:02Those little...Do you smell?You've smout your fair share of Brazilians.You've sniffed a couple of...Oh, excuse me.Do they smell like that?No.Guess what?
01:02:13M.co Beauty, jupe.Right, okay.Yeah.Okay.Okay.M.co beauty jube.So, today, the final day,now that we've dealt with the fact that Fletch smells like a Brazilian,
01:02:22um, is the laughing clowns.Remember at the, um,and the ping pong balls.And they move.You get five ping pong balls and you had to pop it in down the clown's mouth.And whatever it landed in, it added up to a number and you got to pick a prize that wasassociated with that moment.It pops out of a pipe willy.
01:02:39Yes, into a channel.His mouth hole is connected to his pipe wheel and it comes out there.And the ball goes in the mouth hole and out the pipe willy.That's right.And into one of the columns below which has an points associated with it.Yes.Well, it's officially known as the laughing clowns.And it's a New Zealand invention.
01:02:55What?No, it is not.So it has it, it has aspects of it.The precursors were from overseas.Pass the ball, it means pass the ball.That's French.And that was a fairground game in France.So it wasn't clowns.
01:03:10It was just faces with big open mouths.Now when you put the ball in, it was like fat chefs,like religious priests of religions they wanted to mock.Probably wouldn't get a world.Oh my God, imagine a Trump one.Like his face would be perfect for it.100% it would be.With the face and they popped the ball in it.
01:03:27But the teeth.heads never turned.And went down to shootand popped out the pipeWillie and it went downand you know the rampwhere you roll the ball upand you're trying to get it
01:03:34into the center one?Yeah.Because that's worth the most points.It was that.Oh, okay.So it just rolled down,no turning head,roll down up,
01:03:41and it would land.So you'd try to likeshove it down the mouth real quickso it would jump upand get into the middle hole.So that was the first oneand they were,you know,
01:03:49like I said,there was a clown,there was a fat chef.They've got like historical photos of them.Then apparentlythe English,The English had a game where there was a swiveland you would drop just a ball down a pipe
01:04:03and it would be swiveling and it would drop into the points.Okay.Now it was New Zealand that was just like,let's put these two together.Wow.Is it attributed to any Carney or ANP show or travelling family?Because Rainbow's End still got the OG onesthat they've had since I was a kid.
01:04:19Yeah, they've got permanent permanent.Yeah, right.When I was there this year, I was like, we've got to play.But then even when the Kimu Show and stuff,they've got them.I want them in my house.It'd be so fun just having one at your house.Oh yeah, like a retro one.
01:04:31Yeah.Not when the giggle came round.God.Oh, hey, lay.Stop moving.No, they love a challenge.They love a challenge.Good for the quants.
01:04:44So apparently,it was at the New Zealand Centennial Exhibition in 1939.This round in Rangatai and Wellington,in November 1939 to May, 1940,2.6 million visitors when the entire population of New Zealand was 1.6 million at the time.And that was the first time that the laughing clown appeared.Oh, okay. And it was moving.But I cannot find for the line for me who built it.
01:05:10That should be in Te Papa.There should be a thing in Te Papa about this.We should ring Te Papa.Now then it turned out.Move out that smelly squid.We're done with the squid.It's falling apart.So apparently it appeared.
01:05:23It is at the Melbourne Royal Show, the verynext year in 1940,1941, I doapologise, andthey claimed it.They're like, look what we made.Of course they did.Classic Australians, look what we made.
01:05:36All the time.Those bastards are, like what we made.We actually made Russell Crow.We actually made Pavlovak.We're kind of given them him.No, we're claiming him back.Are we?Bringing him back.
01:05:45Okay.I think we're happy to have Russell Crow back now.Okay.Yeah.They tried to claim Sam Neal.Get a grip.Get a grip. Get a grip.That's our Sam Neal.
01:05:53And our laughing clown ballswhere we pop them in the mouth and they roll down and they pop out the pipe willieand to the points take home the teddy bear.Fact of the day, day, day, day, day, day.Do do do do do do do to do.Do do do do do do do do do do do do.The ZM Podcast Network, ZEM's Flesh, Fawn and Haley.Play ZDN.
01:06:23Well, the return of the impotions.A possible phone and topic, a topic we think is going to be so impossible, no one is going to call.Because we're going to ask this morning if you've ever lost a bit of your body.Now, I've got an idea.We haven't given away text of the week.So we've got that prize.Yep.Should we give our text of the week prize?
01:06:43Which is a $50 animates voucher.Our $50 animates voucher to the person that's lost the biggest bit.Or the best bit?The most humorous bit or the funniest story?It's dealer's choice.We'll decide.We'll feel it.We'll feel it.
01:06:58If you've lost, like, thigh to down, it's a big bit.That's a big bit.That's different to pinky nib.Yeah.But a little bit.Now, the reason we talk about this today...A dog in an Auckland Council shelter...Yes.
01:07:13...was so aggressive, it bit the tip of a staff member's finger off.What?Off.I've heard it's like biting a carrot.A finger.I've heard.Yeah, if you can bite through a carrot,you can bite through a finger.
01:07:27That's wild.I mean, you wouldn't.You wouldn't.Because you know, you know it's a carrot,so you go,and you go through and you feel like,that makes me.That's the same what you'd need to bite
01:07:36through a human fingerif you really put your mind to it.You'd be able to do it if someone was attacking you.Yeah, 100% do it.This came out because Aucklandanimal management staffare faced increased threatsfrom the aggressive nature of dogs
01:07:48and the aggressive natureof those aggressive nature's aggressive dog owners.Yeah, I bet.Yeah, that sucks.When they take their dogs, because for whatever it is.Hair! Hair!They had to blow dart the dog.Blow dart.
01:08:03Wait.What, are we in a tribal jungle?Yeah, come on.It's not Jumanji.I'm sure we can get some kind of gun with a tranquilizer.They're operating on a budget.Now they had a tranquilizer dart.We're not an undiscovered tribe in the Amazon.
01:08:15They can stab it in.It's not Indiana Jones in the Temple of Doom.Should be.Like, it's 2026.I don't know why I didn't say 2026.It is 2026.We've got guns.How much more fun would have been to blow down something?
01:08:29I'd breathe in.That's the problem.Yeah, I need a big breath for this.You'd suck on all the feathers.And then I'm out.He's out.But that's horrible.It is, it is horrible.
01:08:41We want to know how you lost it.So, how have you lost a bit?Did you do it to yourself?Did you cut something off?Did a shark get your arm?Yeah.Did a dog bite your boob off?0,800 dials at M, the impossible phone and topic.
01:08:56By the way.Oh, God, some of those are...Not impossible.Wow, we've got some great things that are coming through.And then dated?There's a dog worker whose fingertip got bitten off.Yeah, these dogs, it's kind of a story about how aggressive some dogs are when they have to take them.Yeah.
01:09:13Vicki joins us.Vicki, you've lost a part of your body.Yes, yes, I have.What have you lost and how?I just want to preface that I'm completely fine nowBut unfortunately I had a form of oral cancerAnd much to the dismay of my husbandI can still talk despite losing a third of my tongue
01:09:33A third of your tongueWait, what third?Yeah well it's up thereIt's along the sideSo I kind of lost the left side of my tongueRight so you've still got the lengthIt's just not as girthy as it used to bePretty much
01:09:47YeahPretty much.Just listening to you, like, it hasn't impacted your speech much at all, has it?No, so my husband is really happy that I can still talk and tell him all the things that he's done wrong around the house.Yeah, I said he does.I thought that was going to...Yeah, also my oncologist was quite surprised when I woke up from my first surgery and was like, you can still talk.You're just like, blah, no, no, no, no, no, blah.
01:10:09You're a bit like me, Vicky, we love it.Pretty much.Well, I mean, congratulations on beating that.Did that take ages to get used to the feeling off?Because, you know, one slight little thing changed.in your mouth and it feels like it's significantly larger.Yeah, it took a long time.It still feels weird now.
01:10:24I'm a lecturer as well, so I talk a lot in front of my students.And all of the time I, it's kind of like a muscle.It's gone kind of numb.So sometimes I trip over my words and I just go, you know, you know what you mean.For someone with a two-thirds tongue, wonderful diction.You're a great diction.Thank you.Thank you, Becky.
01:10:44My mother, make me a munch my image.Can we say Vicky and the phone line is two-thirds tongue, Vicky?Yes, absolutely. Yeah, we'll do that.Debbie, Debbie joins us.Debbie, you've lost a bit.Well, I've lost a couple of bits.Got a couple of bits.Yeah.
01:10:57What have we lost?We've lost a leg.We've lost two breasts.But we've gained a tube in the stomach where I can stand and pee like a boy now.What?What?Now, Debbie, does that make concerts a bit better?Well, it does actually, because I can just stand there and make that face and go, ah.
01:11:15Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.So how did you, what did you lose the leg and boobs to?Okay, the leg was from a motorbike accident when I was 16,and I got it chopped off when I was 27.Yeah.The boobs.Jesus, that thing would have been rotten by the thing.Yeah, 11 years.
01:11:33Just leave it.Nah, she might come right.I reckon I'm going to give it four more years.Okay.Gagrinous sat.Yeah, and it's not here like that.All right, cut it off.Debbie, why did it take so long to get rid of the leg?
01:11:47Oh, because I don't want to maim womenSo I just went in thereAnd I said, look, I can't deal with this anymoreChop It OffHe told me to go homeAnd I rang him straight awayWent into hospital on the ThursdayAnd I was out before 9 o'clock Sunday morning
01:11:59And it's been perfect ever sinceGod, what are you flitchYeahYou don't mess aroundYou know what you're on the weekendsSo it doesn't affect work, get in and get outDo you have a prosthetic?Yes, I do, yeah
01:12:09And I'm a, I've worked full-timeAnd I'm classified as a runnerAnd the what hell do you beI'm so lazy and I've got two tips and two legsYeah and you're not doing half as much as Debbie are youDebbie why'd the boobies go?Was it a cancer?Yeah they were the cancer and so was the most of the bladder
01:12:30But it's pretty cool when I go fishingBecause me, the dog and the partner all pee over the sideI think that's our prize winnerI think Debbie's in the lead at the momentTwo tits and a leg and a bladderYeah you're at the moment in the lead for losing the most bitsYeahI'm a pull apart Barbie
01:12:47Yeah, yeah, yeah, you've just been rippedYour attitudeA remarkable attitudeFor someone that's lost so much of your bodyOh, it's absolutely fantasticI like being uniqueYeah, totallyAnd it just reminds you to live life harder, doesn't it?
01:13:02Yeah, definitelyDebbie, thank youLook at thatYou would be such a grumpIf you went through all of thatOh God, I would beI'd be a miserable bastardMary Ellen, your dog has lost a bit
01:13:15Yeah, her name's Yuki.You might be able to hear her in the backgroundbecause she's excited we're going to daycare.Oh, okay.Yeah, so we rehomed her when she was four months old.She's now four years old, so we're okay.We've moved on.But she's a mini Labradoodle, and her first grooming,
01:13:34I took her to my sister who groomed her dogs at home and did a really good job,and she was showing me what to do.And she was on my dog's muzzle.and Yuki was maybe a teeny tiny bit of her tongue got nipped off.Jesus, so you're just doing all around the mustache little bit.That's your, yeah.So, yeah, there was a teeny tiny bit of tongue on the floor,and Yugi didn't seem to care at all.
01:14:05Like, there was some birds, and she, four years later,she has a wiggily done.Oh, my God.Okay, well, that's the dog is in the lead for the dog with the most bits lost.Yeah, yeah.So far, Mary Ellen, thank you.So many messages.Debbie in the lead.
01:14:21Coming in, but we'll get to the rest of those next.The ZAM Podcast Network.ZM's Fletchhorn and Haley.Talking now about if you've ever lost a bit,because a worker has lost a little bit of finger.A little bit of a finger tip.A little finger tip.Dog bit bit off the finger.
01:14:38At the pound.Debbie in the lead with two tits and a leg and a bladder.But some remarkable stories coming through.This is, somebody said, Debbie,Debbie was the same Debbie, her son burnt down the housewith her fake leg.side.Oh, was that, Debbie?
01:14:51Now we've technically lost, you've lost the same leg twice.That's right.We had a good laugh with her when her prosthetic was in the house burning down.Right?Because she is a great character.Well, isn't she wonderful?And we didn't even know at the time she could have attempted to put the house out by pissing on it on the tube she saw.With the tube just adds a whole new element to that story.
01:15:10Someone messaged in, Debbie is effing awesome.We totally agree.Yeah.New Zealand or, yeah, Debbie.My friend was in the Navy on an aircraft carrier, holding one of those guiding lights for a landingflight a jet. As the plane was landingit had some low, loose steel and it flew acrossthe deck and it hit her in the chest and cut off one of her boobs.
01:15:27What?I mean, it's insanity. You've lost a boob,but at the same time, you were inches away from beingsliced in half. Yeah.I lost an eye in an accident when I waskicked in the head, but shit happens.So they've dealt with what they've lost there,but it goes on. Funny part is
01:15:47is, funny. I wasat my friend's funeral and we were leaving the roomfollowing the coffin out and I was crying so much I literallycried my eyes out.My eye came out and fell onto the stairs and in the middle of all thepeople crying and it rolled away and I had to fumblearound on the ground to find it.Chasing your eyes. That's so funny.
01:16:06So when I messision, I lost the tip of my right handring finger as a six year old on the wayto Pizza Hut for a birthday partyin the 90s. I went to fixthe wonky wing mirror aftermom said don't and she flicked the buttonto have the card do it.Goodbye fingertip.
01:16:21You know how the card.Yep.Oh my God.As a parent, you'd be riddled with girl too.And then...Unless it was in the 80s and 90s,because then they would have been like, told you.Yep.
01:16:31They said, wait, I have a photo of it now as an adult.It's so interesting how it grew.Please, to the Instagram.A lot of fingers going missing here, by the way.Yeah, a lot of fingers.My papa was drenching sheep and the ram bit off his finger.And he was like,grab the end of the finger.
01:16:48And we're like, we can't see it.The ram ate it.So the ram swallowed the end of green.That was the end of the ram though, eh?They would have got rid of that.Got it out.Whoa, BlackBet Air.Ram a lamb.
01:17:00My husband had colorectal.Merriam.My husband had colorectal cancer, so they basically remove his rectum so they had to sew his bum up.And he's got a permanent stoma.So yeah, they basically removed his asshole.Okay, that's our first.I didn't think about that.Because I know I've got a friend with a stoma,
01:17:15but I didn't know that they seal up the butthole.I suppose it serves no.Yeah, of course you would.Keep mine open for storage options.You never know when you're going to have to smuggle something into the next Olivia Dean concert.You never know.I mean, I've got a front option.I'd keep the back.
01:17:31Can of Red Bull.Did you read out Mario's text?White Monster?No, I don't think I could do a white monster.You've done any white monster?If you could work up to a white, I reckon you could work up to a white monster.You've got a train.You've got a train.
01:17:43You've got a white monster.You've got to train it.Oh, you too.Did you read Mario's text?Mario, Morrinsville, Mario, no I didn't, please go ahead.I once bit the end off a bloke's little finger in a pub fight.Of course.Oh, of course you do.
01:17:56Castle Street in, passing a rugby ball around,kicked a ball and went into the wheelie bin.I tackled the bin. It ripped my ear right off.It got stuck in the middle of the bin.Oh my God.How did you do that?Wait, is the air back on?Or are they airless?
01:18:11No word with the location of the air.Okay.Did you read about duck shooting?No.My dad lost his eye.He was shooting ducks and the gunbackedand he shot out his own eyeball.Drove himself to A&E with his eyeball hanging out.
01:18:25Hard buggaray.They don't make men like that anymore.They don't make...Do you think you could still see out of it?Or just the trauma of it would like...Well, you would, but it'd be looking at your lap.But that's what I was wondering.Haley's message, I've got a stoma.
01:18:38They get rid of the bum holebecause then you have greater risk of rectal cancer again.Fun fact, it's called a Barbie butt.A Barbie butt.Because there's a butt, but no hole.No hole.Thank you, Hayley.Do they stitch it up?
01:18:49Hell yes.You'd have to clean it still.Just in the shower.It depends on how neat they get the stitches.But it is all crevices and then you're adding more.Hayley, how do you clean the butthole?Please.I imagine it's a shower and a soap.
01:19:04I just think it would be like any other part of the body.Yeah, it would be.Yeah, maybe we're overthinking that.Like the belly button.My mind's all crevice and little holes and stuff.And I get a cotton tip in there.It makes me feel sick.It's gone.
01:19:16What do you mean it's gone, Haley?The butthole, it's gone.So, but what is it?Do you get a graft?Yeah, and does it still have that butt hole around the butthole skin?Is it darker?No, because it would be dark as there's no poo's staining it?Yeah, but would it still be like that?
01:19:32I'd ask for a bleach.I'd say, could you give me a stitch and bleach?The old stitch and bleach.Yeah, okay.Stitch and bleach, you make it all one.Yeah, stitch and bleach.Takes some nice skin from my arm.Like if my butt was that color, I'd be stock.
01:19:46Are we ending there? Are we going to hook up?Yeah.My son got his willie.Caught in a zip-up onesie.Forskine gone.So he's, okay, circumcise.He was stoked. He had two hot ambulance drivers, though.His willie is gone.
01:20:06Wait, how old was your son that he was wearing a zip-up onesie?And he could have still appreciated it and their paramedic was hot.Yeah.Is he 21-year-old?Did he do it?it on purpose?Gutted when you got a hot nurse though and your penis is bleeding.Yeah.
01:20:23How'd you do it?Somebody said, because Haley messaged in, she had the cold or rectal.She had it stitched.You're nine.Your Willie's been caught in a zipper in.You're like, Lisa Hode, Dad.You're growing a pest there, right?You've got a pest on your hands up.
01:20:37So Haley messaged in about her butthole because she had the stomer and she had it zipped up.But then we have heard originally from the person who said,oh, I'm the wife with the husband with no asshole.We prefer the term bumhole.Thank you.Imagine the cheeks stuck together.No, I wouldn't want that.I wouldn't want that.
01:20:54I wouldn't want that.Because they won't move the same.Well, they won't stick the cheeks together.No, that's what she said.She said, imagine the steaks stuck together, no way in.Well, they've stitched up too high.I think they've gone too high.They're too far away from the original hole.
01:21:08How are you going to do spots?I'd get the little picker or not.Undo the hem and I'd get them.Pick on stitch.Yeah.So many questions.Who's our winner?Debbie.
01:21:18Debbie.Congratulations.Debbie.Debbie lost two boobs, a leg and half a bladder, and she is a great character.Do you fart when your rectum's gone?I think we just need to do a whole.Oh my God.Where does the farts go?
01:21:30Fight gas.Does it go in the stove on it?Doesn't the bag have a valve on it?Okay, well, I'd save all of my fart up.I'd save up a whole day's worth of fart.And then be like, get home.And then I'd sit it into a glad zip-slip bag and you guys,what's that?
01:21:43I'd be like, poof.I love farting.I'll be gutting.monster. The Fletchborn andHaley, big, big, hard. Rappenaries aroundthis iconic voice.Thereby, beauty's rose mightnever die. The Shakespeare for your morning.
01:21:56But as the riper shouldby time disseasHis tender air. We've lost him.Sir Patrick Stewart.Yeah. Professor Xfrom the X-Men movies.Yep. Shakespeareanplaywright. Royalty.
01:22:12Yeah. The guy wasamazing, an amazing actor. And he'she was the head of the CIA.The voice of the director of the CIA and American dad.Yep, find some American dad.Yeah.Patrick Stewart.He was Star Trek the next generation.
01:22:27That's where I first came across him as a young man.He was Captain Sean.I actually see you.You want to cut off our fingers?One finger.The finger of the first person who doesn't keep their lantern promise.I hope it's the boy.What?
01:22:41So he, yeah, he grew up doing Shakespeare and he was a big theater man and then movedinto, you know, a little bit of TV at home of Britain,then moved to, got his massive break internationallywherever I knew his name after Star Trek.Yeah.But then they discovered he had this amazing comedic timing.He's so funny.Like him on extras with Ricky Javais.
01:23:02Yes.And he's working on this thing with Ricky.And he brings him into his trailer and is like,I've got an idea for a script.Yeah.And it's basically his character, right?It's ex-man.It's Professor X, but if people get confused
01:23:13and they're clothes full off and the woman's close full off.He's scrambling to get their clothes back on,but what she doesn't know is, I've seen everything.I've seen everything.I've seen it all.Do yourself a favor.If you want to think about Patrick Stewart today,go and watch the bloopers.
01:23:29Like, Ricky can't do it.He's like, I don't know what I'm going to do.Yeah, he's just laughing.But I've seen everything.Patrick Stewart doesn't crack once.It's brilliant.Yeah.Oh, what is it?
01:23:37But he was what, he was 86?That's a great inning, so isn't it?It is.You would never have thought he was 86, would you?No, he'd gone quite.In the last few years,quite her in the last few years,but no, you wouldn't have.
01:23:51So Ian McCallan's 87, so he wins.I don't think it's a competition.Does that not how everybody thinks about death?I don't think so.Life in every aspect of it is a competition,because those two were also very, very good friends.Yes.So, yeah, sad.
01:24:05Wait, can you just bring it up?Just bring it up a little bit.Yeah, and so all her clothes fall off.All her clothes fall off.Mm, yes.And she's scrabbling around to get them back on again,but even before she can get her knickers on.I've seen everything.
01:24:18It's just like that.He's a sir.He's down in the muck.He's so funny.There was a video.There was a video. Was it COVID times?And he, it's a great video.And he talks about the triple take.
01:24:35And he was talking about when you do a single take, when you see someone,he go, what?Like this?And he goes, then it's the double take.What?And with his eyes, it's brilliant.But the whole time he's just massaging his girlfriend's feet.And everyone's like, you old dog.
01:24:50Those are the feet of his far, younger lady.And they said how he passed away?What was he rocking?All I can see is that he was at home with family.Right.He goes all the way to a quadruple take.Google, YouTube, quadruple take master class.And there's just a woman's feet.
01:25:06And it's funny.Well, rest in peace, Sir Patrick Stewart.We've lost a legend.The ZM Podcast Network.Play ZM's.Let's want to know right now.We want to take your calls.0800 at M. 9696.
01:25:22Were you really bad at hospital?Maybe you lasted a day waitressing or serving or working with people.And before you realize, it's just not you.What made you ask this question?Well, a teenage waitress who was on seven pounds an hour, so $14 an hour,New Zealand, has won more than 13,000 pounds after she left her job because she left her jobbecause she was yelled at for dropping an apple crumble.Oh, God.
01:25:50By the boss.The boss yelled, not the customer.A whole crab apple crumble or a single apple crumble?Well, it just says an apple crumble.So she was working part-time at a hotel.A big serve.She was hit with a tirade of abuse from the chefand the general manager for dropping the apple crumble.
01:26:07Apparently the two men got in her face and swore at her.Oh, yeah.Well, no, we're not doing that.No, we're not doing that.And they've now awarded her in the triumption.tribunal, $13,000.So yeah.Wow.
01:26:20She was 18 and I think she just,at the time she was 15, sorry.I mean, I never worked in hospital butI think I just wouldn't be good at it.I know I wouldn't be. I hated it.You're on your feet all day.Start early.People click at you?
01:26:35Yeah, I dropped a long black on a guy.And I, yeah, and I fed a guywith a nut allergy pestobecause I didn't know that pesto was made with nuts.Oh yeah. What's it got in?Cachos.Cachos.Or pine nuts or any of them.
01:26:49Until his esophagus started closing in.And I checked with the chef.He said, yes, his pesto.And my cafe that I worked at, this is the only hospital I did.One cafe was opposite parliament.So we used to have all the bloody...All the MPs coming in.Waving them, like, you know, impatient and everything.
01:27:07I hated it.So yeah, I nearly killed a guy and dropped a long black on someone.Okay, so...And I reckon there would be dropped apple crumbles,dropped coffees,dropped all kinds of things.Yeah, yeah, yeah.Oh, 800 dollars at him.
01:27:21We want to take your calls now.Text us, 9-696.Were you really bad at HOSPO?Maybe you didn't last long,already getting some messages through.Someone waitress for Al Brown and let him down.Oh, no.Did he yell at him?
01:27:36Should I read it?Yeah.I waitress for an Al Brown show.You know how you would do the cooking demonstrations?Oh, yep, okay.So worried about getting the food to everyonethat I walked across the stage.Elle stopped talking just to stare at me.
01:27:51I was told I can finish the night,but Hospo was probably not for me.Yeah, it's probably not, to be honest, is it?Yeah.Okay.Were you really bad at Hospo? What happened?A hospital worker who was just 15.She dropped an apple crumble,
01:28:04and the chef and the manager yelled at her.Right up in her face.In the UK, like it was over the top.And she's been awarded like 13,000 pounds.Yeah.So a lot of money.Yes.I love this message.
01:28:16I got roped into helping outat a bar, all our flatmates worked out.I never had a single bit of training.Too many stories, but when I used to run the pizzas out,I used to have to stop the tables along the waybecause they were so heavyand my wrists were too weak to carry them.And then people would say, we didn't order this.
01:28:32I know I'm just stopping for a break.And then another time, a customer ordered a Pino Noir.After taking too long, he shouted across the bar.Excuse me, the reds are on the shelf, not in the fridge.He'd been watching for a good phone.five minutes as I was searching through the fridgefor Pena Noir. Not for you, Hong. HOSPO is not for you. Jack,HOSPO wasn't for you either.
01:28:54Yeah, good morning, team. How are you?Oh, this is hot voice weak meniscus.It is hot voice week meniscus.How are you?How's that meniscus?Yeah, look, getting there, thank you very much for asking.But yeah, no, a bit of a story for you.So I've been told not to name the fast food chain I was working at.
01:29:08But there was one day, look, it's the only job I've been fired from.There was one day our frozen Coke machine was.wasn't working, surprise, surprise.Yep.And I was working the drive-thru, and unfortunately, yeah, customer ordered one, but I said,look, unfortunately, it's not working so I can give you a normal Coke.He was a bit annoyed, but came up to the window, gave him the Coke, and he just threw it straightback at me.
01:29:31And then tried to climb in the window to try and fight me.Anyway, I shut the window on and pushed him back out, and then was told by management,or he came in, and it was a bit of a fath, but I was told by management, I didn't handle the situation.correctly and the customer's always rightand I was hard to come back.You're actually meant to let the customer come inand bludging you today.Through the window.
01:29:52Yeah, through the window.With the EFOS machine.Yeah, with this frozen Coke machineis not working.Yeah, yeah, yeah.Wow.I mean, I love a frozen Coke though.You know.
01:30:04Yeah.I'll punch a dude if I can't get my hands on one.Especially in summer.I do think it might have been you actually, though.I remember this man I wanted that frozen coat.You've asked it.Brilliant, Jack, thank you.Ask some messages in when was Hospo not for you?
01:30:19A customer ordered a pin on one.After taking too long, he shouted across the...I read this.You read that one?Sweetie hon.Was it just coming, though?They've sent it again.Sweetie hon.
01:30:27No, that was part two of the person who just was trying to help out.I once served a ham sandwich to a middle-aged customer who was of a religion that did not eat ham.I got sworn it in different languages that day.And then it happened a few weeks later with another religion.Who knew?Oh, my God, Paul, it's just to avoid it.pork, it's a device of meat, isn't it?Yeah.
01:30:49Oh, when I worked in a restaurant at the UK,I used to carry a really big traywith all the condiments, mustard, etc.Yeah, HP sauce.Yeah, really heavy.Once I accidentally dropped an entire ramekin of sauceand it fell on someone's head.I was too embarrassed to tell them,
01:31:05so I just ran away and left it there.Oh, no, someone's hood.They're back of their hoodies.They just went, oh my God, imagine they go out.It's raining.And you've got tomatoes.all stribling down the back of your knee.Did you read the Cobbunco one?
01:31:17No.First drop at Cobbunco at 15,I dropped a plate of hot ribstrying to set it down at the table.The customer tried to catch itand got third degree burns on his hands.And I was instantly removed from...Employment.
01:31:28Not for you.Not for you.Not for you.My friend didn't even lastto a trial shift at Maccasbecause you got caught eating the frieswhile packing them for customers.Diddy, diddy.
01:31:37Is that not a professional chip tax?No.No, apparently you're not allowed to.Oh, okay.Yeah.I worked at a sandwich outlet.A customer threw a sandwich straightmy face that I just finished making for.
01:31:47Did you make what you just do that for?Look, that's not on you, Lydia.That's on the customer being a pro.What did you do that for?Somebody said, carrying a curry to somebody's tableand did the most dramatic Hollywood tripand just launched the curry skywardsand covered at least five people with a bright orange curry.
01:32:06A lady was telling me how she wanted her ordergoing on and on and on about how bad it was last time.She was so rude, I just burst into tears and screamed.And hospo staff have feelings too.They ran off.They do.Just remember that when you're clicking.I used to help out at a bar and the manager said she would prefer to be understaffed than have me work there.
01:32:26And you know what?Completely fair enough.That is the most savage burn you could receive.Wow, you're so bad.You're like an anti-staff.Yeah.You're actually making this worse for all of us.I would rather be understaffed.
01:32:39Is that the podcast done?Because I'm busting for a poise.Last thing for a poosJesusGive us a reviewPlay ZDM's Fletchhorn and Haley
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