10 Minutes of Schaub - A SCHAUB FILLED CHRISTMAS! | 10 Minutes of Schaub #82

Episode Date: December 31, 2023

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If you wanna get views You've got to Sell X2 Kratom If you wanna walk down Down to my truck Kratom Just XJ

Just XJ Just XJ Kratom One, two Welcome back to Tim Minutes of Shop. Thanks for tuning in. Merry Christmas. Happy holidays. Hope you're having a great time. We're trying to get into the holiday spirit.

Very redacted. There you go. Turn Santa into a little bit. Give Santa some shabbanese. Yeah. Oh, so you want a gift? Brian Cohen is Santa? Nice, I like it. so you want a gift? Brian Kellen is Santa? Nice, I like it.

Who's your favorite person in the shop versus as Santa? Hey, if you want to get a gift, you got to see me in the belly room for 30 minutes. You know what I mean? What do I have to do in the belly room, Joey Diaz? I don't know. You got to do some stuff for the elves. Or Diddler.

Do you have any Diddlers? Oh, Diddler? He'd be like, I got you a pony. That's kind of like Colin Diddler. you have any diddlers oh diddler he'd be like i got you a pony that's kind of like cal and diddler though this year i got you a dolphin protection pair of paints so they don't fuck you dolphins fuck people all right i gave i gave that my best one gift that you could give us is joining the patreon daddy ever heard of it that be nice, but no pressure. Do you have any shows you want to plug? I think I do, but we're shooting this a little bit early.

Right. So December 28th, I'm at the Ontario Improv. But that's not why you're here. You're here to watch 10 Misses Shops. So start the timer. Play the chain clip. Play the clip, Gerardo. Here we go.

This first one is posted by Secretive Fox. It's called Snoop Dogg Knows What's Up. You ready for this? Yeah. Look at your fine little skinny ass sitting up there. I roll blunts fatter than you, but you've been passed around a little bit more. But right

now, things are popping for Whitney, y'all. Everybody in Hollywood is talking about her, and they all saying the same thing. Think that bitch gave me herpes. Oh, shizzle. Whitney's about to get gadooshed up in the hizzle by Snoop Dizzle. Mr. Whole Foods, she put her nacho cheese in everybody's nacho cheese, diddy. Whitney, you get laid.

I heard it both ways. Oh. I can't do a good Snoop. Right, oh, I can't either. Yeah, yeah get laid. I heard it both ways. Oh. I can't do a good Snoop Dogg. Right, oh, I can't either. Yeah, yeah. Izzle for shizzle. That's all I have. It's the I'm-a-go-X-J to roll me a blunt.

I don't smoke weed anymore because I saw Shob do it one time and I was like, damn, is that what I sound like? I like how Donald Trump is just trying to act like he can listen to Snoop Dogg in the back there. Snoop, Snoop, you're doing great. I don't know who this woman is. She's very annoying.

She's not funny. Not good. I went in there. I said, oh, my God, she's not funny. He's like, I heard it. She has herpes. I know. I don't.

People are saying that she has herpes. I don't know whether that's true or not. She's a great comedian. She's one of our best. She's one of the thousand that can do herpes. I don't know whether that's true or not. She's a great comedian. She's one of our best. She's one of the thousand that can do it, and I love her. Okay, so this next one is posted by King Demo. It's called Richard Simmons tried picking shop up in West Hollywood while he was in booty shorts.

Is it true? No. Okay. He tried picking me up the first day I moved to L.A. He probably stole it now. He pulled up in a Land Rover. He was like, hey. Are you serious?

Swear on my life. Swear to God. I believe it. Real talk. I was like, damn, that's Richard Simmons. We jumped in and had a good time. No, just kidding. I was like, what the fuck?

And I ran the other way. Real talk. He tried to pick you up. Swear on my life. Swear on my kids. He asked you for your phone number? No, he was just like, hey, where are you going? I was new to L.A.

I was walking down WeHo. I was at a fresh corn grill. Use a real place so they believe me. It's like that video we watch on the Patreon. The comedian. Oh, state of fact. State of fact. When you're bombing, always state of fact.

Yes. Corn chicken place. But shout out to Bradley. Dude, I like how Bradley's like, I believe it right away. He needs no story. Right, right. He's just on board. Brad's a friend. Yeah. That's right. Great guy there, man. Some short jean shorts.

Why? You was in some booty shorts? Because I like to party and I ate my meal. I was walking out on West Hollywood and he tried picking me up in a Land Rover. West Hollywood? I didn't know that was the area. There's rainbows everywhere. This is cool. You're walking down West Hollywood with he tried picking me up in a Land Rover. West Hollywood? I didn't know that was the area. I was like, there's rainbows everywhere. You're walking down West Hollywood with some booty shorts on.

Yeah. Everybody does this to shop. Rampage, Rick Glassman, anyone that talks to them, they repeat what he says because it's so ridiculous. And now we see another instance of that. It's great. You're walking down WeHo with booty shorts. So you had booty shorts on and you're in west hollywood

and richard simmons saw you and asked you to hang out and you were leaving the corn store i've given you every every out possible to be like yeah it's fucking around but you've decided to stick with this story. How's in the UFC? Is that a rain? I don't know. It'll be the first time I've seen him drink rain, though. No, it's definitely Diet Pepsi.

All right. Interesting. Is that an Axe J hotline type thing? Yeah, dude. Go ahead. Hello? Axe J hotline. Yeah.

So was it true that Brendan wore booty shorts? That might be true. Is there more context? You just want to know if he wore booty shorts one time? Well, I mean, I kind of believe the other part where he said Richard Simmons tried to have sex with him. No, no, no, no. That's not true. I am confident that Richard Simmons has never met Brendan Shaw.

Oh, okay. Do you have any other questions? Well, he did say he was the white boy that walked too much in booty shorts. Brendan might have said that. That might be true that he actually said those words. Oh, okay. But no, he has never met Richard Simmons. I'm sorry. There's a lot of calls I have to go.

This next one's posted by Stone0777. It's called Behind the Scenes with Chin and George. Gotta love the behind the scenes thick boy stuff, dude. It's called Behind the Scenes with Chin and George. Gotta love the behind the scenes thick boy stuff, dude. Let's see. Georgie, please. Continue what you're doing. No, the loving thing. The nice stuff you're doing.

Oh, okay. No, not that! Oh, sorry. Yeah, there's that. This is why I love my Georgie dude they should have a podcast that was like

it was electrifying right it was like watching Brian and and Sha before they got started yeah they started out by doing sketches like just like that and look where they are now dude top of the world tens of thousands of K views dude right They started out by doing sketches just like that. And look where they are now, dude.

Top of the world. Tens of thousands of K views, dude. Right? Titans of industry. Yeah. Shout out to George. That nipple looks weird, but I like it. It's kind of like my nipples.

Alrighty. Has he ever put Sharpies inside of him? That's the question, right? This is posted by Scampi. Remember Bapa's carnivore diet? Let's see. Have you seen this clip yet? No.

I think it's pretty old, but I think it's hilarious. Nice. Thanks, dude. Is it cool if I just deep-throat this thing? Thanks, man. Oh, it's warm, Daddy. Boy, is he expecting a cold hot dog he's so used to thick by studios food being cold yeah trading him like shit oh you actually you did a good job my team always messes up you know they give me uncooked meat it's like dangerous

the other day i went to the fridge and the and the milk was past due. I was like, guys, come on. What are we doing here? Then I peed in the sink in front of my employees. Stop the grill. You don't think I like... Hold on. I'm already with you.

You are. This Mr. Fucking Carnivore Diet. I know not to put it on because I'm a good friend because I listen, dude. Well, that's true, dude. Got out of that. Fuck yeah, got out of that one. But when yours comes in looking all fucking sweet. I know. Can I get some mustard on a bun with a thing?

Yeah, dude. Just some of the dad thinking. Just some of the dad thinking. Just some of the dad thinking. Just some of the dad thinking. Just some of the dad thinking. Just some of the dad thinking. Just some of the dad thinking. Just some of the dad thinking. Just into the day at thinking just into the day at thinking just into the day at thinking just into the day at thinking just into the day at think lives

it's called mortal kratom i think you got a little taste of this earlier let's see it's popping There's him drinking rain. I forgot. I can't believe I forgot that classic clip where he's drinking rain. Oh, he is, isn't he? Yeah. It's open, too. Is that the effect it has on you?

Where you're like, it keeps you just that awake? Yeah. You're like so tired, but it makes your eyes open just enough where you can sing the Mortal or hum the Mortal Kombat theme song? Dude, you're a marketing genius. Why? I didn't even think of that. What?

That's a terrible ad for rain. Oh, yeah. He's like, All right. You know, I got so much energy here. So, Orchata. Orchata.

All right. Remember to take rain energy drink and keep you up for your day. What's another like video game theme song? Can you think of any off the top of your head? Play your ringtone, dude. Call me. Oh, yeah. I couldn't even think of doing that.

This is electrifying content. Oh. This is too hard to hum. This next one's posted by Smiling Ivan. It's called Theo Going Through Some Stuff. I'm assuming it's not anything bad, right? Let's see here. Oh, yeah.

What's up, guys? Happy to be in the building tonight. It's always the best night of the year. Baby, Christmas came early, son. Let's get it. Definitely. Rough times for him. Yeah. All right. We got another classic, son. Let's get it. Definitely. Rough times for him. All right, we got another classic, dude.

You know whenever Chin is singing, we got to play it, dude. This one's posted by Organic Possession 53. It's called Fast Car Chin. You got a fast car And I want a ticket to anywhere Maybe we can make a deal Maybe together we can get somewhere You got a fast car, and I want a ticket to anywhere. Maybe we can make a deal. Maybe together we can get somewhere.

Many places better. Started friends, never got nothing to lose. Maybe we can make something. Me and my silver got another new proof. Damn, dude. What do you think? I think it writes itself, you know? Yeah, dude. Right?

You got a fast drug I'm a comedian who just did a set I'm gonna be outside Cause I just crushed for my fans But you Haven't made someone laugh on. You haven't made someone laugh on stage. It's like from Annie's perspective.

Yeah. You got a black dick. Yeah. And I'm going to make fun of it. Right? Yeah. You're a hot guy in the crowd. I'm kind of straight, but I feel kind of gay.

And I, yeah, want to suck on your baby. I, yeah, when I want to miss the whole food. You got some hot Cheetos. And you're throwing it all over the place. You've got some nachos. And I've got a microphone in my hand. You just dipped your nachos right inside your nacho cheese. And now,

so you stick your finger in. Hi, I have a special last 25. You got a mod shop. I'm going to drive my truck to you. All right, let's go to the next one, dude.

Shout out to chin. Always make those bangers come through, dude. This one's posted by motorist operando. It's called heavy lies. The crown. Let's see here. Keep his name in the headlines and make a lot of money.

You know, Heavy Lies the Crown, he gets a lot of pressure. He gets death threats, bomb threats. Heavy Lies the Crown, but it's worked out for him. That's true. Heavy does lie the crown. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, Schaub knows that more than anyone.

Yeah. the crown yeah yeah i mean shab shab knows that more than anyone yeah he he is the on top of podcasts audio is what king king right so what is a king where crown right so he's talking about himself and also leon edwards and the crown is literally like some of shop's hats are literally literally heavy too. Yeah. They're big hats. Yeah. They're big trucker hats. He doesn't show up with hats that are, he's not wearing visors.

No. Okay. Definitely not. No, no, no. He's going to show up with a big camouflage Chief Wahoo hat. And you know, especially when you're wearing crowns, they lie heavy. Right. Especially when you're building the ground that we walk on, right?

Exactly. Heavy lies the crown that the king walks on the line of not putting all your corners in one basket. Yeah. While maintaining shooting for the stars and ending up somewhere. Yeah. You know? Definitely. And being the sharpest tool in the shed,

the crown is going to fit a little tight. The king wakes up at 434 in the morning before his enemies, and when he gets news like, hey, we're at a rain energy drink in the office, what does he say? Good. Good. Right. Yep. Oh, fuck. I missed office. What does he say? Good. Good. Right.

Yep. Oh, fuck. I missed it. God damn it. All right. Let's go to this next one, dude. It's posted by Haphazard. It's called,

This is how you start a show. Great way to attract new listeners. Yeah. 2023 is coming to an end. You don't hear a lot of excitement for 2024. 2023 was tough. I mean, we got to figure out our schedule as far as Shop Show goes. We did our last one today because Christmas is next Monday.

I know. I think we'll do Wednesday and then we'll take that week off. Yeah. Because I'm going to be in Florida anyway. I'm going to go then to Charlotte. I got to do Charlotte. Okay. Too much, right?

Yeah. Charlotte. He's the one that started the conversation. He said too much, right? Yeah. Charlotte. He's the one that started the conversation. He said too much, right? Are you excited for 2024 or no? I mean, 2023 is pretty rough, you know? You don't really hear a lot of people talking about 2024. I've got to figure out what we're going to do with this show, right?

Yeah, because we're not meeting Monday. Oh, yeah? No. No. Wait. Because you're going to be somewhere else, somewhere else right yeah alakon show is not happening this is today was the last day for alakon show i thought you're gonna be in like melbourne oh i will be i will be in ontario improv oh yeah that's right in melbourne florida and i'll be i'm gonna be in raleigh raleigh i'll be in raleigh north carolina on'm being Raleigh North Carolina on uh

J-J-Jetember 27th J-J-Jetember and uh if you're in Australia that's seven days ahead alright that's enough right yeah

yeah yeah dude come on but that's what they talk about at the beginning of their show at the beginning of their show what uh dates they're gonna be at

for a long time not like not skillfully like these two guys. Yeah, dude. You know, just right away. You got shows,

you say it and then it's like, but that's not why you're here. Right? That's how we do it. Yeah. Two hawks. Two fucking cacas up here, dude.

Yeah. Sounds like saying we're poop. Oh yeah, you're right. Can I ask you a question if you put your psychological hat on real quick? Eight inches. Oh, fuck. God damn it.

You're so good at this, dude. All right. Let's see the rest. Comedy Zone. So we'll just have one. Yeah. And then the holidays. Yeah.

We take the holidays off. Like civilized human beings. Or no Wednesday, like next week, or just- No, he's saying Wednesday, next week. Yeah, Wednesday, next week. That's it. No Monday. We'll do Wednesday, and then that's it.

Jen's so happy. I mean, I don't have to work. So January 1st week. So we'll take a week off. So it'll be Wednesday. This Wednesday's our last thing. I mean, who watches The Watchman, dude? If Chin is like egging them on to go further with this, dude. How about we take the whole week off?

How about we stop doing the podcast? Come on. We weren't going to, but you know we like not doing stuff. Come on. The chairs look so much like ours right now. I know. It's wild.

It's pretty awesome, dude. Yeah. We need to get full chair shots like they do. Their chairs look like newer than ours somehow. I know. Ours, I mean,

we got stickers. Do they have someone freshen them up? Maybe. To figure out who freshens up the T-Fat K chairs? George rubs his nipples all over him. How funny.

We hired the same maid outfit. Oh, yeah. George was like, he treats them like he treats Chin. We'll see. Until what? The following Wednesday, I guess. Yeah, the following Wednesday makes sense. No, no, no.

That's when Christmas is, isn't it? No. Look, the calendar's right there. Christmas is next Monday. So Wednesday would be the 27th. So we're good there. No, I won't be able to make that. I could.

But then I have to come back, and then I have to go right back to Charlotte, though. And then this Wednesday, are we good? I can do it if we have to. Don't worry about flying back then. Do you think somebody is watching this, like a huge T-Fat Kate fan, just like super into whether they're going to be there or not? Every time he hears like a day is off, he's like, fuck. Shit.

What am I going to do Wednesday? Fuck. We're losing Thursday too? Ken, what are you doing? What are we doing here? I want to watch a show. It's all I have. It's the best show. it's riveting though it's riveting them talking about when they're gonna be there or not dude if you

really want to get into tvek go to episode 784 the beginning when they're talking about their scheduling it is so good why they were talking they didn't know if they were going to record on the wednesday they talked for like an hour about whether they were going to be there or not. And then Diddler came there with a sword cane. He had a cane and he was like, Dude, check it out. And he accidentally cut Chin's face. Like that.

The boys could just get like injuries and scars and stuff like that. Like Chin has a neck problem working there. It'd be fun if they had more shit. Like, oh, well, Sha heard his... I was going to say Chappelle heard his leg, but actually it was Sha that heard his leg. He could have, though. Yeah.

I mean, you know, the king also, you know, they've utilized the crown, dude, so they got injured, too. Theo's not doing very well, which we've seen. Yeah. This show's kind of cursed. Yeah. It curses people other than Sha and Callan. Nothing bad's ever happened to them. And it extends past the studio. It's curs show is kind of cursed. Yeah. It curses people other than Chav and Callan. Nothing bad's ever

happened to them. And it extends past the studio. It's cursing their schedules, dude. Yeah, they're too busy. This is the price of fame, success, and talent. Something we would know nothing about. We're amateurs, you know. Two freaking guys are just... We're studying

the greats right now. Yeah, every day we're asking, what are we doing here? Heavy lies the shoulder of looking over the shoulders of giants. Yeah. With the claws of a hawk. The giants are fucking... Alright, so this one's posted by Haphazard. Again, it's called

Is Someone Forcing Bapa to Do Fight Companions? Let's see here. More riveting content. Hang around the tennis guys. Yes. Bunch of cucks. No, no, no. Don't say that. Sorry riveting content. Hang around the tennis guys. Yes. Bunch of cucks. No, no, no. Don't say that. Sorry.

No, no, don't say that. Can I get in your truck? I'm not allowed still now. Still, no. Still, no. Definitely not now. Not now, huh? Not allowed in the truck? Not allowed in the truck.

We missed you. I could have used you on Companion. Of course. Because Bradley and Rampage, he's the best. He's absolutely the best. We talked a lot of Flat Earth. Because the fights were a little boring. We talked a lot of Flat Earth.

And then, you know, Rampage, he's not, he doesn't watch UFC fights. You know, like he's not into the UFC. It's just, you know, he's great. But Bradley does, doesn't he? Not really. So it was like, you know, I can't go too deep on it. Yeah. I call Bradley a...

He's picking people that don't know enough about UFC to talk about the fights with him. How would you solve that? Well, I mean, I would definitely go for Brian Callen because he's very well-tra trained in MMA mixed mental arts. Oh, yeah? Yeah. What do you mean?

That was his old podcast. I was thinking you were going to say you pick Brian because Brian does all the freaking. Just like a guy, you know? Like I get in there, right? Yeah. I freaking jab. I can jab. Yeah.

He's always like ready, you know? Brian always makes something out of nothing. He can just talk about his thigh. Look at this thigh bone. You know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, the clip we saw of Shob in Rampage and Bradley was pretty good, I thought. They were riffing and talking about kind of funny stuff.

If Brian was there, he would be like, guys, guys, look, I'm like, you know, you ever talk to another guy and you realize he's hot? He's got a lot of hair. But it's not like, it's like Spanish hair. He's like...

They'd have to focus on waiting until he's done with this weird bit that has nothing to do with anything. And then, all right, yeah, definitely, Brian. All right, so this fight going on here. Even if they don't like fights, it's better than that. Hey, Rampage, let me see your thigh. Oh, that's a thigh.

You look like a guy that can keep someone busy. All right, let's keep it moving, dude. This one's posted by Jodamofo. It's called Genghis Khan, huh, Rinks? Even in the animal kingdom, when the poachers would come in and kill the big male elephants and take their tusks, they had the longest tusks, what would happen is the adolescent males would,

they didn't grow up with the big males telling them how to behave. So they would start bullying everybody and like goring the older females. And the entire structure broke down. Genghis Khan, when Genghis Khan was taking over the world, the young boys would follow. They would watch the older men so they could learn how to be warriors but the younger boys would watch the older boys come in rape kill just indiscriminately take shit right guess what happened those younger boys would go back to the camps and they would do that to the women in their camp they would turn on the they would like well what that's how we act that's how my fucking

brother does that my dad does it what's wrong with it So then they'd see a girl over there and they'd rape her. And then gang. Oh my God. So wise, dude. Dude. Just like, they're so wise. Like every, how does he know all that stuff? The way he gives the speeches?

Yeah. It's like, I'm just listening. I'm like, fuck, dude. That's, couldn't have said it better myself. I'm sitting over here thinking, I can't wait to tune in when I go home. You know? Yeah, dude. That's, couldn't have said it better myself. I'm sitting over here thinking, I can't wait to tune in when I go home. You know? Yeah, man. I kind of want to end the show now so I can listen.

Dude, Genghis Khan, like he said, you know, when he was around the young guys who watched the old guys, and that's how they would know what to do. Exactly. Right? And then they would assault people. That's why Gen Z is so fucking stupid, dude. They don't do that. No then they would assault people that's why gen z is so fucking stupid dude they don't do that no they're not gen z doesn't watch it they're on tiktok they don't have time to even see older guys assault people yeah and what are they doing now audio yeah

they're on the audio they're not not on YouTube. I guess, well, they're on audio. TikTok is audio. TikTok audio. Yeah. Well, they're not watching people do bad stuff and repeating that. Exactly. And that's the only way we... What are they going to... We're not even going to be men.

Yeah. There's going to be no more men. Mm-hmm. Not like... Or at least not men like Brian Shaw. Yeah. You got a fast truck posted by muted contest 4667, dude. Shout out Genghis Khan.

Let's see this one. You got a fast car. And I want a ticket to anywhere. Maybe we can make a deal. Maybe together we can get somewhere. Many places better Started from zero, got nothing to lose Maybe we can make something

Me and my silver got nothing new to prove This clip rips. Dude. You know what I'm picturing? I'm picturing Shab. He gets in this truck to do donuts in the parking lot of his office. Yeah. dude the you know what I'm picturing I'm picturing Shab he's before this he gets in this truck to do like donuts

in the parking lot of his office yeah he's on he's in his own office and somebody comes in they're like hey Brennan

I don't wanna make a big deal but I'm missing like two weeks or last week's pay and I you know I was just wondering like

is there some issue with accounting or whatever and Shab looks up at him and he's like oh god dog I'm so sorry bruh but dude I'm just so busy right now I will look into it right away that right now

I'm like up to my knees in it alright can I get back to you and the employee's like pissed off but they think alright well that's a fair he's very busy he's a white boy that works a lot and then he leaves the office and he walks outside and he sees shab doing donuts in his truck just like that and he's he's like on a phone with an IG baddie.

I want to say it's dude, look how much fun this guy's having. It does look contagious. The fun is contagious. Pretty awesome. This is how Shab really gets you in. Yeah, I mean look at this. Everything's getting better.

You got a fast truck. I mean it's important to state too. You're good. He's not really driving the truck. Yeah, somebody is doing donuts for him, right? Do people talk about that on TV? Like, Chang said he doesn't really drive the trucks. Someone else is, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, you don't really see him driving on the truck. A lot of what you see is him like revving engines. Yeah. Yeah. Or pointing at the engine. Pointing at it and saying look at these blowers a lot of valves in this one skifty dipty did yeah i wonder if he skifty dipty that truck

all right so we have uh we have some explaining to do dude because you know we posted a clip on tiktok ever heard of it and uh you know we're trying to do more of that nowadays right yeah trying um and people had a lot of stuff to say about this one, dude. It's newly posted, though, with an update, if you're down to watch it. Oh, shit. It's posted by OtherwiseFox2482. It's called, Brendan finally comes clean about the mustache,

parentheses, one of his dumbest lies ever. Let's see here. Everything's just weird. Like, do you dye your mustache? No. That's crazy how dark that is compared to like you having some gray. But as it keeps going, but if I trim it so it starts off and then it gets gray. So if it gets longer, it gets gray gray.

It actually doesn't make any sense. No. Over one month later. 28. Okay. 39 is tough, bro. I'm 40 right now. You're 40?

40. You're young as fuck. And you got all that gray all on your face. Well, I used that for men the other day. You didn't use enough. I know. I looked ridiculous. I looked like Tom Selleck for about two minutes.

You're married, so you don't care no more. That's what happens when you get married. No, I did die. He's getting fucking gadoosh, man. And it was a disaster. I looked horrible. I want to say that there's some posts about how his new look was redacted, dude.

I don't think so, dude. Look at that guy. He looks fine. He looks good. The rampage, though. I mean, like, him saying all that stuff to me, I would get angry,

and it would suck because he would just be my ass. Like, there's no comeback. I'd be afraid to say anything back. He's kind of crazy, too. You try to stand up for yourself and it's just him looking back at you? Like that.

Yeah. I'd be like, I'm sorry. I apologize for what I just said. Shut the fuck up, Cooner. Yeah. Just small ass teeth. You got small teeth. And you bald, too.

But you don't care about that because you're a homeless cat. cat homeless cat don't care about that kind of stuff right you're super married man that's such an insulting thing to say to somebody you don't care you married so you don't care about how you look anymore yeah it's even it's it's supposed to be a bit like making you feel better but it actually makes you feel worse. Well, let's see. I'm sure it doesn't stop here, dude. It's Rampage Isn't Afraid to Speak the Truth, posted by King Demo. That name. And then it's like, remember the tiger thing?

That name sucks. Schwab. Schwab. Schwab. Schwab. Why is Schwab? I think he's a masochist. He likes bringing on people that treat him like this.

Well, you know, UFC, Rampage, it's a big name. Right. I guess Shob's okay with someone just making fun of him the whole show. He's one of the thousand, dude. Right, he's used to it from being at the table. He can take it and he can dish it back. You're right. Yeah.

He's a master of that. He better watch out. He's going to get called Mr. Whole Foods. Yeah. Let's see here. Listen, that's why I don't mess with girls who got all the plastic surgeries because you never know i never know girls girls have no idea that when they're doing all these places all these things they're looking like trannies they have no idea yeah their friends don't even tell them like girls yeah

freddie chops yeah right there was way too he's like yeah dude i'm just imagining rampaging this dude like people don't people buy you stupid ass chairs and they sit in them with Santa Claus hats on we're like yeah dumbass messing with sauce on him a ball guy of big gums you know I mean people do that shit I hate it we're like yeah yeah well i think too the subtext at least on chang's is you know brendan chops lip fillers yeah yeah no i guess geez yeah girls should tell their homegirls like quick you gotta cut back you gotta cut back because because dude's doing that shit and you looking like the trannies. Yeah, one more chin implant.

You look like Liam Neeson, the girl. You know what I'm saying? That's what I'd say to my friends. That's what you tell them? Yeah, you look like... Yeah. But you look like those girls. You look like Morgan Freeman.

That's what I'd say to the girl. Oh, damn. You like the girl who does fake makeup. My name's Morgan Freeman. And when I'm out and about, what I like to... Sometimes I'm waiting for long periods of time on acting.

So what I do is I've downloaded the TFAK app, which I listen to do. Sometimes I'm waiting for long periods of time on acting. So what I do is I've downloaded the TFATK app, which I listen to every day. My favorite people in the world are Brian Callen and Brendan Shaw.

I listen to it at work. I listen to it when I'm driving. It's one of my favorite things. Goodbye. I couldn't help myself. Can I do an XJ Hotline? Yeah, sure.

Hello, XJ Hotline. Hey, sure. Hello, XJ Hotline. Hey, Jay. I was actually wondering. I wanted to get some chin fillers, but I was told that I would look like... Liam Neeson. Yeah, Morgan Freeman, Liam Neeson, that kind of stuff. Yes, that's right.

If you get chin fillers, it's very well known, regardless of your race, you will look like Morgan Freeman or Liam or liam neeson two actors wow two famous actors so that's verified um only if you're a woman oh okay yeah it doesn't work with guys yeah yeah no that's true thanks jay you're welcome have a good one fuck you you say fuck fuck off all right let's see the rest of this all around MMA we all know about you in the fake but I mean it's very big asses you know I'm not yeah you cannot but you take a good that's fine you don't care I mean technology so advanced now man when

they do those the lipo and they put in the ass the BBL yeah it's for you to be bail don't count I don't care you BBL don't count. I don't care. You don't care? I don't like the implants. It just feels different. The implants are weird. Don't feel it. Are you having some extra care with the BBL? A lot of BBLs in the crowd tonight. I would be like, I'm married.

I've been married for a long time. Can we talk about something else? You know this is live, right? I don't. Look look at that look at that punch there that was good huh it was a punch i mean well honestly outside look at that punch looks like they're going to the ground oh it's all over it's not it's like just begun just trying to get him to stop fucking gadushing me man how often do you think

that these guys, maybe independently of each other, talk about BBLs? I mean, the fact that it's coming up like this, I feel like probably

not a lot. Yeah, not a little. Not a little, no. It's probably a constant, especially these two. Like,

they're very into their bodies, right? Oh, yeah. Or at least Bradley is. Mm-hmm. So it's probably something he thinks about quite a bit yeah well let's find out probably i mean probably could have been both one or the other implants are old school though yeah that's an old school i was like we fucking went i'm thinking about what else would they be talking about they're not gonna be talking about books like a great film you know this is exactly what

they're talking about they're not gonna be like uh discussing philosophy or do you think shobs ever read a poem i wonder who shobs favorite poet is chin chin probably yeah you're right yeah you know chin's got poetry. He's got that voice of an angel. Right. Yeah. It'd be funny if you went over to hang out with Shab and he was just doing a puzzle.

You're like, what? You know what? He's like, I got bored. There weren't any bananas or anything to eat. What if he's really good at puzzles, though? You leave him in a room for 10 minutes. He's a savant at puzzles. That'd be interesting.

Yeah. I'm sure he'd say he's good. Puzzles seem like one of those things that Schaub just claims to be really into, but he's not. And you're like,

you're not into puzzles. He's like, I am, dude. Come over, Axe J. Axe J. And you go over to his house and there's like all these puzzles

that have clearly just been bought that he made someone do and in the back you hear a noise and you're like, what is that have clearly just been bought that he made someone do. And in the back you hear, you hear a noise. You're like, what is, is that George?

He's like, no, no, it's not George. And you open the door and George is doing a puzzle for shop in his basement or something. That's so funny, dude.

Yeah. I can't wait for the puzzle phase, dude. We're kind of like out of the fish phase into the truck phase. You know what I mean? The puzzle phase would be funny as fuck. That would be a funny thing to go into. Every week. He're kind of like out of the fish phase into the truck phase. You know what I mean? The puzzle phase would be funny as fuck. That would be a funny thing to go into. Every week he just brings a portrait out.

He's like, check this one out. I did this week, dude. My girl and her roommate are so into puzzles. If I was like, you know, you're kind of like Shahab because you both like puzzles. She'd be like, it's over. Leave my apartment. I told you not to bring him up again.

Let's see. You remember how. I told you not to bring him up again. Let's see. You remember how Kim K's ass used to look back in the day? Yeah. Like a big diaper? Yeah, like dumpy. She got it redone, huh? Yeah. He's so mean.

Yeah. I've never smashed a girl with a fake ass or a BBL that I know of. It's not it. That's how good it was. You didn't even know. I'm an ass connoisseur. I think I could tell. You would tell.

I'm an ass connoisseur. Yeah, you could tell if it's a fake. You could tell. You could always tell. It's harder. I think I can tell. You can tell. I'm an ass connoisseur. Yeah, you can tell if it's a fake. You can tell. You can always tell. It's harder. It's kind of weird. A BBL? I think that sucker is fat.

That would be so funny if he was just rock hard right now. He kind of looks like he is, dude. I would change my posture. Sorry about that. Sorry about that. Big dick. Sorry about that. Yeah, it's fat.

So it's hard to tell because it's actual. The placement is weird. Yeah, it's like high up on their back. All right. I don't know neither one of you. Oh, shit. Damn cut out with fire. Oh, you called it, dude.

They went to the fight. Oh, look at that punch. Yeah. Yeah. Eventually got to go back, dude. Got to watch. That's the whole point. It's a fight companion.

Yeah. All right, so I don't really understand this one. gotta go back dude gotta watch that's the whole point it's a fight companion yeah uh all right so i don't really understand this one i don't think this show is over but this one says end of an era maybe they're changing studios or something uh but it's posted by glow year it's called end of an era with the truck and walk into it uh quite funny though you haven't seen this yet right uh no no no thank him yeah rc sorella what are you doing you don't talk like this yo jay's uh fish tank video reviews are just incredible you know those why don't you just review what it's in best dude hilarious you popped the controller

with that one wow you know I would say if we weren't so washed I would do a shot of Tiger Thicke but we're washed should we do one?

this one's for Sean alright Sean played a part whoa they do shots of Tiger Thicke? that's wild wow that's good marketing do they have Tiger Thick? That's wild.

That's good marketing. Do they have Tiger Thick in the studio? Because he left it there when he was there or something? I don't know. Maybe. I don't remember that. Yeah, let's see. Yo, Shaw played a part in the birthday. I have to take medication after this. Yeah, it pairs well.

You got to do it out of your MK mug, Luke. I got to really have a very Then we got to do that whole Colombian Pada Buda Mara Yuta. You got to do the shop stuff because Lord knows you got enough There it is. That's one thing that we can't recognize the bottle. The bottle is very hard to miss.

So I'm going to now give him credit for that. It's spotable anywhere. Yeah. Most bottles probably are, I guess. But that one, I don't know. Well, there are some counterfeit ones with two Cs. All right.

Yeah. So you got to be careful. Watch out for that, cats. This is some ways on Shob's channel with Shob. When we launched the bomb shelter and launched Morning Combat, it was on the Below the Belt channel, right? Beyond the Belt? Beyond the Belt. These are mini shots shots but that's fine all right well ladies and gentlemen for one last time uh my name is luke thomas that's brian campbell i'll take those records home with me

this is fine i'm not gonna fight you for them oh where's my call and by the way you want okay bet you want okay bet you want okay bet okay well this is a hell of a prize for winning, Luke. Here we go. For one last time. What does it say? It's Columbia, not Columbia. I think that's probably, I don't know. It's probably Luke's hat. Columbia, not Columbia.

Yeah. Okay. Can we put the fucking, there we go. Here we go. For one last time. I'm going to show you. I'm going to show you. So here we go. Hey, everyone, thank you for making this studio what it is.

We love you. We'll see you on the other side. We're not dying. We're not dying. L-T-B-C-M-K. Yeah. Arriba. Abajo.

Pal centro. Par dentro. Positive and incorporated. We're out. We'll see you Monday. That's thick. That's thick. That's thick.

Three C's. Oh, wow. out we'll see you monday that's thick that's thick that's thick three c's oh wow walked me into my truck had you can end it now so good dude yeah that's how that's how it's done yeah that's the real the gold standard for what we're trying to do yeah no skits and bits from us yeah we're trying to actually do skits and bits like that skits and very good let's see this're trying to actually do skits and bits like that. Skits and bits. Let's see this next one. It looks like it's a shop show clip. It's called Papa Thinks Callan Needs to Quit Doing Stand-Up by MinimumSky2305.

Very misleading title if I do say so myself. Let's see here. For Tony, it's tough. You never hear me say that guy needs to stop. We all do this. He needs to stop. It's like telling Callan, you need to stop doing stand-up. I can't, man. I have to pay the bills. I me. That guy needs to stop. We all do this. We, he needs to stop. It's like telling Cal and you stop doing standup. I can't man.

I have to pay the bills. I know, but you need to stop. Okay. Are you going to cover what I would make on the road? Oh, you're not. Well, I got to keep doing it.

Wait, can you play that again? That's for Tony. It's tough. You never hear me. That guy needs to stop. We all do this. We, he needs to stop. It's hear me say, that guy needs to stop. We all do this. He needs to stop.

It's like telling Callan, you need to stop doing stand-up. I can't, man. I have to pay the bills. I know, but you need to stop. Oh, so it does make sense. Is he saying that Callan should stop doing stand-up? He is kind of because people think Tony Ferguson should stop fighting. Yeah, that I know.

He's lost like six fights in a row or something. But then you're also making assumptions that Schaub understands similes. Yeah, that I know. He's lost like six fights in a row or something. But then you're also making assumptions that Schaub understands similes. You know what I mean? It really sounds like he's douching Callan hard. Yeah. Because Ferguson absolutely should stop, right? Because it's fighting.

He's risking his life. He's old. He keeps losing. And it's very bad. So comparing Callan doing stand standup to that is crazy. True. That's like him saying that his standup is so bad that it's causing him like harm to his health.

I'm redacted, dude. I thought it was, I thought it was a bad clip pool, like title wise, but it's true. He's telling you, what is the,

what is the title of the clip? Uh, Bapa thinks Callan needs to quit doing stand-up. I'm stupid. Sometimes they go so fast I don't hear them when you say them. I mean, they're always the same speed. I'm just not listening. But that's so funny.

I just don't understand why he would say that. It's like I'm telling Callan you got to quit. You going to pay my bills? Callan sounds sad. He doesn't make enough from the T-Fat K and Cratter show to support himself. He also has to go to Melbourne. It's so sad that the guy that cannot talk or do things correctly in front of a camera does four shows a week.

And is also way better than you. Yeah. Not you, but like Callan. Like Callan has been doing stand-up longer and is probably more, considered more legitimate. But Schaub is way funnier than him. And now Schaub's like,

yeah, you got to quit, man. Fucking stop doing stand-up. You got to be here all the time to hear me like my nonsense. I was like, all right. I don't know. That clip was wild. Yeah. All right.

Well, let's go to this other one, dude. It's called The Meeting of the Minds, but meeting is misspelled. Big surprise, right? Posted by OtherwiseFox2482. Let's see. If I have any more kids, that's what's going to happen. Now that I know what's going on, that's what I'm doing. If I have any more kids, I'm homeschooling them for sure.

I didn't get an argument. The doctor was cool, but I had a baby girl recently. They were getting rid of a vaccine. I went, oh, what's that for? She said, it's hepatitis. I said, I don't see any rusty nails around here. Where did she get hepatitis from? Why are you giving that to her? She's her immune system should she build her naturally and when

she's older that's i'm not anti-vax but that would make more sense but hepatitis where's she getting it from i don't see is there rusty nails in here yeah is there a prostitute in here that's the only way to get hepatitis that makes no sense oh no no not happening they're like all right you gotta sign this waiver well i'll sign whatever you want. It ain't happening. Smart move, though. Yeah. The doctor just offered them some sort of normal vaccination for children.

And he was like, he got really mad. And he was like, you see any rusty nails here? Doctor's like, excuse me? Rusty nails? Yeah. You know, rusty nails. You see any rusty nails here? Doctor's like, I guess not. He's like, that's right, motherfucker. Don't ever offer my daughter a fucking vaccine

again. He turned kind of macho man Randy Savage there. He's like, hey, wait, what's that one? Polio? You see any wheelchairs in here? What do we need this for? He turned kind of macho man Randy Savage there. He's like, hey, wait, wait. What's that one? Polio? You see any wheelchairs in here? Huh? What would he need this for? And then he sees like a guy with some chips. And he's like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

You see any fucking nacho cheese in there? Do you see cheese anywhere in this room? Huh? You have to go like this. And it's fucking. Am I fucking? You know, it's easy to get him out of that though too I think

if the doctor would have been like can I ask you a question and then shop is like eight inches yeah yeah that's how you trick shop once he gets mad

just ask him if you can ask him a question if he met us and he was angry at us about our show he'd be like can I ask you a question just to give him a chance

he's like ah fuck they know my it's like my kryptonite is flattery that's a self-dest him a chance. He's like, ah, fuck, they know my... It's like, my kryptonite is flattery. That's a self-destruct. A chance to compliment myself. Fuck. Shab, you can ask me a question if you want.

He's like, how many chicks? How many chicks you fuck? This one's posted by Haphazard, another studio tour behind the scenes from chin you know we like these daddy let's see you hear me case what up case what's up hello what Case? What's up? Hello. What's up, player? What's up? It's a lot like the hostage room, huh?

Yeah, it's a little bit smaller, but it's about the same. Yeah, it's very similar. What were you going to say? That's the same guy. That's the guy I keep saying is in ISIS or whatever. Oh, yeah. He's always dressed like that. He always has a beanie and a black thing.

Let's see. You got it early, dog. I know. It's kind of like Hard Knocks. You know, you get to see the groundsmen and all that. Yeah. People that cut the grass and all that shit. Chin's like a coach or like assistant coach.

Oh, shit. oh shit making sure everything works you know yeah Can you imagine being that like hardware dude? Storing all that fucking gold dude? I can't imagine. If I lost like one hard drive from T-Fat Katie, I don't think I'd ever, I'd have to be like a monk. Yeah. Or like go of like a thing of solitude and what's the thing

where you don't speak anymore? A mute. Mute, yeah. A monk. Like a vow of silence. Yeah, there you go. A vow of silence. A vow of silence, yeah.

I need my headphones. Oh, come on. So much pressure. There he lies, the crown. There's my phone. Whoa. 40 tabs open. That's like our show.

Is that a tab for everybody? He's got 40 tabs open, dude. That's a lot of tabs on a laptop, B. Why so many tabs, B? What are we doing here? Well, each one of those tabs is a what else you got, Chin? That's why. That's why chin That's why That's why That's why

What's up How you doing bro It's good just chill This weekend 3, 2, 1 Yeah what is popping Fam A little later start.

We're about seven minutes behind the ball here. Happy Monday morning. How dare you put Alonzo Mennefield and Dustin Jacoby on the early pre-ups? Let's go to the UFC website just to double check. Because we're on Wiki? Yeah, usually Wiki's more correct though. Hello there. It is now as you can see there 6.54

which is actually pretty early for for a Monday considering I'm done with pretty much everything as far as uploading stuff. So I'm going to show you something real quick. What are your thoughts there? He's very dedicated to his craft of producing. You know what I mean?

Yeah. And also, I noticed that Shab, like, he came right in. He was like, what up, fams? I am the Mort. Like, he's ready. He's ready to go from there was no, I guess maybe it could be edited a little bit. But it seemed like he right away just like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, like we've seen. He's a professional, dude.

You know that. He's done it a lot. Let's see here. Good morning, Vietnam. Name the movie. Yeah, that's, you know, that was what he sat down that day, just like driving his whole way there. He's just like, all right, that's what we're doing today, dude.

And then the crisp Monday morning, you know what I mean? Let's see. One more time when Shab enters, do the best part. What's up? Funny doubling up. How's your weekend, dude? It's good. Just chill. This weekend? Three, two, one.

They start right away, dude. There was no edits there. Like NASA scientists. Ready for launch? Ten, nine, 9, 2, 1. Good morning, Vietnam! Name the movie. Houston, we have a show.

Houston, we have a prom. Alright, so we got another one from OtherwiseFox2482. It's called White Boys Who Work Too Much Are Public Enemy Number One Right Now. It's a dicey title. I want to talk about the Leon and the Kobe situation. What did you think about what he said about his father?

This is crossing the line. I'm not defending Kobe. I'm a big Kobe fan. I like Leon, too. I'm not defending him in any facet. When's Kobe? He did it. Because he's white.

He did it. Come on. What the fuck? No, we do got to stick together. Do you know what they're talking about? Yeah. Which one do you call it? Colby said like your father's in the fourth layer of hell or seventh layer of hell or whatever. Crazy dude. Because his dad was recently murdered or? I don't know if it was recent or whatever. A while ago still.

And I don't know. There's a lot of narratives going around about that. But, well, there's Colby's narrative and then there's Leon's narrative, you know, in any facet. Yeah. I don't know. Public enemy number one, dude. That's right.

Also, since I'm public enemy number one now, I've just found out, I got to be careful about my words, you idiot. Yeah. You know, people are coming for me right now. You probably have seen, right? Yeah.

I have to fight them off when I get here. And I appreciate that, dude. I appreciate you sticking up for me. Yesterday, I took a scooter here that threw you off, but I didn't want to tell you that I was chasing down four different public, or I was going to say baddies.

So you took a scooter here because you didn't want people to see you come into the house of a white boy. Yeah. I get it. A lot of people coming after you, dude, specifically. Right. Well, listen, keep your head down, dude. I'm a Mexican.

I'm good. Okay, good. All right, let's see here. This next one is called Rampage is Not Impressed with Brendan's Truck. Yes. Posted by Leach Schwab. What's that like? Is that their electric car?

No, how dare you? No, no, what the fuck? Come on, bro. Because lightning. You think I changed my pronouns, got an electric car? Come on, bro. Yeah. No, the lightning is the old school.

I love this car. It got real famous and fast and furious years it was from 1999 2004 Ford Lightning generation two four generation ones are dope from two from 93 95 yeah I'm right there so popular that's amazing that's my exact car right there that That's it? That's ugly. 400 horsepower. 2004? 2004, dog. That thing's got a Whipple supercharger put on it. Schwab, Schwab, your car sucks, man.

Women that you like suck. They got BBLs. They fake. Hey, yo, does your car have a BBL? Your whiskey's got a stupid name stupid name that car's ugly Schwab more Rampage I say

yeah Rampage is great dude yeah having your main antagonist on the show we're on our last thing for the day dude it's a picture post I thought it was pretty funny it's posted by FuckinDense.

FuckinDense. It's called In Any Facet, These Sneakers Look Familiar. It's a post by Russell News saying, Breaking News. Nike is suing social media influencers who are promoting counterfeit sneakers. This is great news. The whole unauthorized authentic industry is just another way to

shrill counterfeit products. The lawsuit against CETA's is a whopping 76 pages, almost 300, and is seeking three times the amount of damages and related expenses for the lawsuit. As you can see, he has the Freddy Krueger's. Oh, shit, dude. The plot thickens with three C's.

Well, good thing they're real, though. Look at those things. Hilarious. That's so funny. And so it's like, it's probably an article they got from somewhere else, and they put it over Schaub. Yeah. I think it's a joke.

I think it's hilarious. Or is that, that is that Schaub? They're just wearing, no, he's just wearing the shoes. Oh, yeah, it's probably not Schaub. But Schaub, he's talked about the Freddy Krueger things again. You know, Schaub just finds a way to get himself to be in the story. Yeah. He's always going to be there.

He's the Forrest Gump. The redacted Forrest Gump. He nailed it. Yeah. Oh, really, dude? So good. The redacted Forrest Gump. I think you've said that before.

Have I? Yeah. Well, I don't have the best memory, Chin. So roll back the clip. Yeah. All right. Well, again, happy holidays. If you want, join the Patreon as your gift.

Yes. Enjoy everything. Bye. Later.