10 Minutes of Schaub - Bapa makin' fun of people in WHEELCHAIRS, B! | 10 Minutes of Schaub #25

Episode Date: January 16, 2023

Twenty-fifth episode of 10 Minutes of Schaub

We'll stand up on the worst in the world, time and time again. At the improv I have a terrible set Cause I've never told a good joke in my life Cause there's a hunger, a longing to fuck With some chicks I'll take to my truck Let's go there Let's walk to my truck Come on, let's go there To get my dick sucked Can you walk me to my truck?

And end up my unfunny day can you walk me to my truck don't tell my message can't one take

stop at my favorite time of the week. When you get the ear pop, I try to speak. Release surprises today. You better actually watch 10 Minutes of Shop. All right. Welcome back to 10 Minutes of Shop. Yeah.

Back to the original format. Just me and G-Man. Back in the saddle again, dude. Back in the saddle. We may have some crazy guests coming up, but stay tuned for that. Join the Discord. But that's not why you're here. You're here to watch Tim as a shop, so start the timer now.

Boom. Hell yeah, dude. I should also say this is on TFATK's Reddit, and they're at 99.8 homeless cats. Oh, congratulations, guys. Dude. Making so many more cats every day. We can make 100,000 today, dude. I hope so many more cats we can make a hundred thousand today dude i hope so i hope we help in the slightest way you know yeah but uh so this

clip is called the water and it's posted by toronto rapture no water good time water water be getting invited to the orgy mr abbott he's like the kid off game of Thrones that read the future right where's your whore door bitch my only problem with him is you know how he got paralyzed right a giant oak tree fell on him terrible tragedy you ever seen the oak tree fall fast no no God no why No. Move out the way, bitch. Also, if you don't like him, easiest politician of all time to assassinate. Easy. Who is he talking about?

Greg Abbott. He's a Texas governor. He's in a wheelchair. Oh, yeah. And then some of the clip is missing. God, like the full standup clip. He starts off. I've seen it.

I watched some. I watched on something else. He was like, you know, Greg's in a wheelchair or something like, you know, missing because like the full stand-up clip he starts up i've seen it i watched some i watched on something else he was like um you know greg's in a wheelchair something like you know just saying what yeah is it's yeah it's stupid i'll well we were talking about this before the show started shah will say anything i'll give him that he's not he's not holding back he said i was saying like he's the first guy who's like too stupid to be canceled yeah like with magic johnson if another person had said that in the same kind of terms they might be like oh my god caught him like comedian says horrible thing about

eight or aids uh or not i'm sorry hiv positive uh magic johnson or whatever but uh in shop's world they're just like no you're an idiot you see their replies it's just like that guy's a moron the other thing about that clip that i think is ridiculous is he says um like have you ever seen a oak tree fall fast no one's ever seen an oak tree fall at all that's not a common oak tree stand that aren't they like old and stand forever i like an oak tree you're not supposed to cut down oak trees they don't fall i don't know if they fall slow maybe they do but i mean shop's just like making stuff up who died from an oak tree i don't know anyone who's ever died from an oak tree but he's saying that and also we have to like look it up ourselves to verify

because shop makes up a lot of stuff but he's saying that Greg Abbott, I guess the reason he's paralyzed is because an oak tree fell on him. Oh. Yeah. He's a very conservative governor in Texas, and I don't really know too much about him other than that. But I guess Shobb thinks that it's easy to kill him because he's in a wheelchair. Well, you could say anything, but try not to make fun of the disabled. Yeah, I don't get it.

It's not really the joke. Again, it's like the joke is that he's disabled. But you'd hope that there'd be more.. It's not really the joke. Again, it's like the joke is that he's disabled, but you'd hope that there'd be more. Like, that's not really a joke. That's just you pointing out something that Greg Abbott is. That he has to live with every day. Yeah, that's what Chop does, though. He's like, you know, and he's like, and he's black, you know?

Do you think because so many people hate on him, he needs to hate on people that don't deserve hate? I think he just goes, that maybe, but what I think is he just goes for whatever the obvious the most obvious thing is like for some reason shop looks at humor like oh guy in a wheelchair that's funny right if i and then but like i'm an edgelord kind of thing like people in wheelchairs aren't funny i don't know i don't know why he thinks that it's not me saying it's shop oh really dude shop needs to make fun of people that are different seven times a week not even different i was gonna say i laugh at people in wheelchair seven days a week yeah that's what shop says he's not definitely not an advocate

for the handicapped all right so this next one is a little different. It's a toe clip, dude. Oh, okay, a Rogan clip. Yes. Joe Hogan, it's called Some People Just Got It B, and it's posted by Brenda the Sloth. The Sloth? Yeah. So let's check it out. There's always like a new form of the name. I haven't heard the Sloth yet or Sloth.

Yeah, and it's crazy how some things you think are going to work so well don't work work and then other things that like but you figured it out some people never figured out that's the saddest shit the saddest shit is that people there's comics that look i'm all for everyone trying comedy but some people don't ever get it some people they never get it and i don't know why i don't know what it is some people get get it. I saw guys that used to struggle. Like Sebastian used to struggle. He used to struggle.

And then one day, I hadn't seen him in a while because I got kicked out of the comedy store in 2007 and I was on the road and I was in Vegas. I'm pretty sure I was in Vegas for a UFC and I was alone in my hotel room watching TV, just flipping through the channels

and Showtime came on and Sebastian was on. I was like, oh, look at Sebastian. He's got a special and it was fucking great it was really funny and i remember tweeting it saying how fucking funny it is and i i got a hold of him i said dude that was awesome i just loved it i love it's so good because like that clip of him crying like that could be good with anything like rogan talking about reading a book and i was just like i really enjoy reading books i is from the i can't talk right as a famous thing where is like uh people other comedians are congratulating him on oh yes that's where it's from yes see i am homeless sometimes i did see say that. Yeah, dude. Hilarious. Great editing, the sloth.

Love that he found his confidence. He found that thing, whatever it is, that swagger. He figured it out. So insulting to compare Sebastian Maniscalco to Brendan Shaw. Regardless of how you feel. I know some people think he's hacky and maybe he is, but I mean, I laugh.

Oh yeah. What's the, the Orangina joke. Check out, search, uh, Sebastian Maniscalco Orangina. Tell me that's not funny.

All right. All right. So this one's from, uh, Sven Sexa. I think we saw one of her clips or their clips before. Uh, it's called rinks.

We'll never see that money from their bet. Papa has not not and will not ever pay up. I guarantee it. I love the great long title again. The Tongue Twister. That's a staple of Chang's. I was wondering how you want to get that $5,000.

I sent you the cash app. The night, once you text me, I sent it. I didn't get it. I didn't get on my cash app. Did you? I didn't see that. That scratch behind the ear is such a liar's thing. He's like, ah. Oh, he's got liar tells.

The face, yeah, you're probably right. The face thing at the beginning, I got to feel like it's because of the alpha brain or the creative or something like that or the Adderall that they're doing. It could be just like a physical response to an awkward moment because he's quiet. Brian Cowan's quiet to begin with and he's like the money that you whatever again like yeah i may yeah that's possible but again i just gotta wonder like if is he just lying and he doesn't actually take all this shit or does he take all this shit yeah it certainly seems like he's taking at least one of them and adderall is what my guess but all right oh there was uh i listened to the

episode before coming here today to the golden hour. And he's like, you've never taken drugs? Like, you know, drinking or marijuana or Adderall and then he moved on

to something else like really fast. Don't answer about the Adderall thing. That's what we're all doing. I want to read off that guy's rehab center again, but I don't really want to look at it on my phone.

It's in Baton Rouge. Check it out. Yeah, it's in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Look at one of the old episodes. He hasn't paid us so far. Never met. Great guy. One of our guys never met him. You got it. You sent it to me? Yeah, I sent it. Now there's a limit on there, so it's going to come in two different ways. That's what I mean.

He knew it. I need, listen to me. What did you send me? Because I don't like getting paid in increments. Well, the juice is running, but here's the? Because I don't like getting paid in increments. Well, the juice is running. But here's the thing. Juice is running. Here's the thing. You ain't trying to do double or nothing, right?

You don't want that problem. You don't want 10 Gs. You know what's better than five? Ten. Hold on. You know what's better than five is the ten. I already got some money in my account. You just told me you sent it.

Did you or did you not? That's what I'm saying. But we could do double or nothing on this next one. You mean the rematch? The rematch. They're going to rematch. They're not going to give out spirit. You want me to break down? I'll break down.

I was batting 1,000 on Saturday. I had Poirier for a lot of reasons on that. Pause it. It's almost done. Yeah, it's almost done. I'm going to pause it with one second. I've talked about this before. I don't understand.

It's weird that Callan and Rogan, they constantly talk like they are in the movie Die Hard or something like that. Like, you know, the tense scene where the bad guy is talking to the good guy. They're like, hey, yeah. Yeah. And they have like this weird cadence.

Yeah. What is that? I think if you're asking honestly, I think it's they podcast all the time. There's very little to talk about when you podcast, let's say, thousands of episodes. Right. And so they have this go-to thing where they're like, I'm going to act upset about this thing and I'm going to say it this way because they always do that. Do you agree with me, though?

Doesn't it seem like that? Am I crazy or does it seem like it's the scene from one of these action movies where they're like, there's like a tense moment? Yeah. Yeah. Dude, most of their conversations off the podcast are probably like is die hard a christmas movie or no dude you know all right so this one's called the callan gets ptsd from the great t-fat k sub war of 2022 when shab mentions pf chang's uh it's from the user Shedding Panda. Oh, there we go. Shedding Panda. Here we go. She look good.

I don't know. Oh, you're thinking some dabbling in a little bit of gear? Sauce? And we're not talking about the orange sauce from P.F. Chang's. We're talking about that. You're talking about that. You're talking about Good Good? I don't know what you're talking about. Dang. Callan treats P.F. Chang's like we treat BGL, Mark Harley.

He won't even speak on it. So traumatizing to him. Orange Shaw. And then Shaw bringing up P.F. Chang Interesting The orange sauce And the orange chicken Why does Shaw look like

Extra Like childish In this episode I don't know He's got a crazy face But Shaw is obviously Thinking about the fryers The guys working

In the back of the house People working A double To get out That orange chicken and brown rice, getting into his psyche. I think, listen, I was thinking about this earlier. I went through a deep thought process about how Brendan Chobb might be turning around, dude.

He might be accepting the hate. Right. Do you think so? I don't know, but no, probably not. And also, we watched that one clip. I don't know if we watch together on the show or i watch it by myself but he tries to lean into like how he can't talk well yeah or speak well and it doesn't work now it's like too late you know like he still doesn't really understand

the joke if there's a way that i could go and coach him i would just to be a nice guy well i'm not saying he's doing gracefully. I'm saying he's trying. Yeah, that orange sauce. He didn't even say orange chicken. He said orange sauce. I never even heard. That's probably something I missed and they say orange sauce. But I haven't heard it said like that.

So even that he's botching. Can't even get his Chang's references right. Seven times a week, okay? We go to that guy. China is hot. All right, so this one is from the Rogan is Shorty Pie. It's called Barndoor is elated for his buddy Griffin having a role in an upcoming Workaholics movie. Oh, yeah.

So let's see what this is. And we're about to do Workaholics movie. You are? Yeah. Oh, what? And you're in it. Yeah. So you're going to miss a bunch of Golden Hour?

I don't know. You know, it's funny because I told my guy, I was like, hey, man, this is what we're doing now. I need my Tuesdays. Right, right, right. See, I like that shit. But if it, I mean, but you know. Yeah, well, don't be that guy.

She's Hollywood of her podcast. Well, I mean, I get it. That's so funny. He has this big news about a movie that he's in and shop doesn't care at all. And to ask him immediately about the podcast. That's so lame. Yeah. You tell me like ECMO has a movie and I'm like,

yeah, whatever. Don't miss 10 minutes of shop. You look at me like I'm insane. Like anyone would. I'm excited about a workaholics movie. I love that show. Yeah.

So glad to hear it. Yeah, more excited than the co-host of the show that you're on with. Well, keep in mind though. He's not changing. He's still the same. But I would argue that wasn't the first time that Eric Griffin told him

that he's going to have a Workaholics movie. So you think it was a built-in bit? No, not a built-in bit, but more of like, we're doing the show. Maybe I should mention the show. And it's like, and be funny about it.

Yeah. Maybe. I mean, I just, I doubt like that. He has any self-awareness at all. Yeah. No,

it just doesn't seem like I'm on your side, you know, it's possible. I mean, we did watch a food truck diaries before this began with like, uh, I forget as some UFC guy, or he was,

um, bare knuckle fighter guy. Yeah. That wasn't Bellator or whatever. And at beginning shop just went on this big rant about how he has CTE and he has only a few years, a few years left before it all falls apart or something. It's like,

I guess that's sort of acknowledging a little bit of what's going on, but I hope it's not that dark. All right, next one. All right. So this one is, it looks like it's an old clip from the Logan Paul podcast. Okay.

But it's called numbers. Don't lie from shedding Panda. We definitely had some classic Bapa moments on that podcast. Yeah. Let's see. Like a special is basically a commercial to sell tickets from the road. You son of a bitch. Bring your friend.

I can't believe you guys put that together. Comp, comp, comp, comp. Thanks, man. That means the world to me. You're doing great. Yeah. It's almost like they just saw all what we saw. Yeah, great stuff.

Yeah. YouTube special, huh? Okay. But with making fun of like a comedian that doesn't sell tickets, isn't that kind of like a low blow in a way? You know how low blows aren't allowed in boxing, right? I mean, it's funny because he says he's like doing great. Okay.

He's huge. He's like, I sell out shows. I'm like on tour all the time. I'm a professional comedian. But like the question is, who is watching this? And now we're finding out nobody, you know, very few. The people were being tricked into like, oh, there's a comedy show tonight. But they may not even be going there.

Probably not going there to see Shab at this point. He's not selling out anymore. I'm not saying I hope that, but in a way, though, it worries me that anybody would want to go see it, unless it's to kind of laugh at it like we do. If people are really enjoying that kind of stand-up, then it's kind of almost scary, right? Also, too, it's really good for the local talent

that a comedian from Los Angeles that's got a big name, is on the most Joe Rogan episodes of all time, comes to your town, and you got the opportunity to open for him. I don't know about that. You can learn from a great. Yeah, you can watch the worst stand-up ever and be like, damn, I should move to LA. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. I don't know what you think.

You get a show as opposed to an open mic for a night. I mean, you'd get a show whether Schaub comes to your town or not. It's probably better if somebody else is on the show. Like, you got to open for Schaub, you do well, and then the headliner just is the worst thing ever. He just stinks up the place, and you're like, all right, we'll come back next week. He won't be here.

Maybe we'll get somebody who sells tickets. Maybe we'll get Randy Feltface. Yeah. Somebody who can sell some tickets. Yeah. Now he bombs and he doesn't sell tickets. True. So worst of both worlds.

Both. Both. I don't know. I feel bad for Schaub. I've had like a come to Jesus moment with Schaub where I'm like, dude, I feel so bad for this guy. I mean, it's fine to feel bad for him. I don't really feel bad for him though. He's he, even though he's not selling tickets, he seems to, you know,

he's very wealthy. He seems, seems happy. And also I've been going down rabbit holes of early T fat K kind of stuff, which we could do someday. Sure. Like the unlimited streamable, I think it's called on the menu. It's called. Yeah. We've been checking the menu, it's called unlimited streamables.

Yeah, we've been checking the menu a little bit more recently. And even with all the context, with all like he's a liar, he's just, I don't know what else is there to say. Like he's an enabler of terrible behavior. We'll probably find worse things as we go on. Yeah. You know, I mean, you think he's changing. I don't know. No, no, no, no.

I think it's quite possible something't know no no no that was something worse happens that was just because of that one clip but what i'm saying is that he's endearing in a weird way yeah i don't know we're locked in with him now i don't know what it is but yeah we're joined at the hip dude uh this one's called this is a man who is doing great and it's from Shedding Panda. Okay, I thought it was a different word. Shedding Panda. Shout out to Shedding Panda.

They've been on the show three times today. Great. I like how Chin answered. I was talking to the fans. I was like, I can hear you guys. Chin's all right. You know what? It's been great.

Straight off the plane. I almost said boat. A lot of Tiger Thick. Chris um a lot of tiger thick chris i wonder because that's we watched that like some of that clip on the last show i wonder if chris is did he say it again or is that playing from the old one? I think it's editing. The old one, yeah, yeah, yeah. Man, yeah, they did not look good there. He looked like at the very, he looked like me at the end of the wedding I went to this weekend. A big crazy,

hey, you can go with chin. Almost said boat instead of plane. What? If you're confusing different kinds of automobiles you're in, not good. What was the day after Tiger Thick like? Edit out the part where kinds of automobiles you're in, not good. What was the day after Tiger Thick like? Edit out the part where I said automobiles. I'm not editing it out now.

What did you ask? What was the day after Tiger Thick like? Oh, I mean, I didn't really drink that much. Mine was really iced down kind of because I let the ice melt a little bit. And it didn't really affect me. I'm not sure. You know how I like commenting on how red people's faces got. I don't know if that's something that's wrong with Walsh and Williams. I think it's just the lighting.

No, honestly, dude, the saturation on the cameras, I usually add a little bit of saturation. But for that week's episode, I took the saturation away and they were still red as fuck, dude. I guess it's the whiskey then. It really is the whiskey. But was mine red? At the beginning, they weren't as red as they were at the end.

Huh. Yeah, I mean, we really didn't drink that much. They didn't drink that much either. But that's the effect of Tiger Thick, I guess, is those triple Cs. Yeah, this is white guy face gate B. Was I red? Yeah, that would be a clip. They start cheating on us. White guy face gate be? Was I red? Yeah, that would be a clip. They start cheating on us.

White guys can't face gate handle Wigski from Boppa, blah, blah, blah. Was I red? Not that I remember. Yeah, nobody cares. We'll play next time. Nobody cares. You're always red. You're fucking white as shit. I know. I'm like red regardless of Wigski. Alright, so this

one's called Brenda Gets Ridiculed and Responds with a Dahmer Reference and a Stolen Joke from Rogan is Shorty Pie. Shout out. Joke. Here he goes. Oh, there's Mark. See, I didn't say it, but I told him earlier, I want to bring in GoldenEye and have you guys play. GoldenEye. But I didn't say it just now.

No, no, no. He said Golden Hour. Game Night and Golden Hour. Oh, yeah, yeah. I thought you were saying you were bringing GoldenEye. You got cauliflower here. It's always blocking all the... You know what it does? It blocks the sounds. That sucks, right? He said golden hour.

Brendan! He's calling for you. You know that, right? Can you feel the Dahmer energy headed your way in his glasses? I will eat your dick. Why don't you mention it in the horror? I will eat your dick. Can we get through one?

Was that in the frame? I don't know. Oh, my God. You know what? Pause. Yeah. Okay, good. So for a second there, it really looked like Shab was mad.

Yeah. And sometimes I think maybe he uses humor to like diffuse. Like for a second there he was thinking about just killing D'Elia and Griffin. But then he was like, no, no, no. Just make a horrible joke that makes no sense. You're wearing glasses. Dumber. Gay. Perfect. I'll just threaten to eat their dick.

What? Given the context, the joke's not good. But I'll always laugh whenever somebody says, I'll eat your dick at the top of their lungs. Yeah. I mean, I, in that scenario didn't work for me, but maybe, yeah. I mean, you know, Dahmer probably, you know, ate dick, right? I don't know if he did or not. I bet Schaub doesn't know either. I bet Schaub just made that up. Really? Who knows? You know?

That's true. We'll never really know. All right. So the next, this is the last clip for today. Okay. It's also an old school one. It looks like. It's called Bapa, Do You Want More Drinks?

Oh, yeah. It looks like they're younger in this one. Yeah. With Whitney Cummings here. Oh, wow. Let's see. Whitney, do you want more drinks? Can we get another drink?

Yeah. Good bit. Good bit, Brandon. He thinks he's a fucking comedian now. That's exactly right. Great. Really? You know what's weird? You want more drinks? Can we get another drink? Yeah, good bet. Good bet, Brandon. He thinks he's a fucking comedian now. That's exactly right. Great. I'm really recording. You don't think it's weird you have three drinks?

No, I don't. That's not weird. Nope. You think it's weird that you have five fucking meals in a bag? They're both probiotic. They're both probiotic. Ten years later. Ten years later.

See you later, then. See you later, then. See you later, then. I know. You look more tired, though. Yeah, you look more tired than me. You get eight hours. I you later than that. See you later than that. I know. You look more tired, though. You look more tired than me. You get eight hours. I feel great, bro.

And also, the key is I'm not drinking. That's the key. The key is I got my coffee, I got my water, I'm chilling, right? I'm a drinker. Because you got three. You got a Diet Coke, a coffee. Hydrated. It's crazy.

His face is all over the map. He's three different guys. I didn't realize there's three drinks you do have. This is eight shots of espresso. Unbelievable. That's insane. It is insane. And then that's...

You're just redlining constantly. Yeah. Yeah. They make good points here. This is a problem that Brennan has. Yeah. He drinks too much of just everything. Like, it's not just Tiger Thick Wigski.

It's the fact that he has, like, five drinks on the table. There's always an energy drink. Yeah. There's Kratom Thick Wigski. It's the fact that he has like five drinks on the table. There's always an energy drink. Yeah. There's Kratom. There's Alpha Brain. There's Adderall. There's his favorite sneaker somewhere. It's like he's got too much going on.

He's the guy that you go to like a diner with and you tell, I want orange juice, coffee, diet Coke. The person comes out and they're like, I'm never going to take this guy to breakfast again. He is annoying and stupid. What's the most drinks you've had at once? Yeah, probably three, to be honest. Yeah. And it was it was like when I was hungover and I had orange juice, coffee and water, something like that. So I've been annoying.

We're uncovering the truth, dude. Yeah. Brendan Chobbs is just a little bit like you and me, dude. No, I didn't like put kratom into the orange juice and like crush up Adderall, snort it on the table and then take some Alphabrain with a Diet Coke. That would be the Brendan move and then try and record 17 podcasts.

He's like, this is my new brunch podcast where we go to brunch and I'm high on Adderall. This is my new brunch podcast where we go to brunch and I'm high on Adderall. This is my, this is my world cup podcast. I forced people that play football to talk to me about soccer and could ever like, he really, he has too much going on. He needs a break.

It really doesn't. It would be funny imagining Brian Callen and Brendan shop rocking out to Creed right before they were recorded podcast, crushing up Adderall and snorting it. Then they hear ours and he's like, I can't talk. I can't talk. I can't talk. One last thing.

He canceled a show. We didn't play the clip, but he canceled a show in D.C. because he needs a break. Did you see that? Yeah. Someone posted that in our Discord. And that kind of sucks. I mean, that's my hometown.

And I know V-Ron, he had some tickets. He wanted to see it and just can't even go see Boppa in a hometown. It almost seems like it's a diss directly at me. You know, I don't like it. But anyways, that's our episode. Join the Discord. See you next week.