10 Minutes of Schaub - Bapa wants to tawlk to his HAYDURS, B! | 10 Minutes of Schaub #27

Episode Date: January 16, 2023

Twenty-seventh episode of 10 Minutes of Schaub

Sometimes I feel like I took too much cradle Sometimes I feel like my only friends Are the people that sponsor the T-Fat K podcast. Stupid as I am, I plug all the stuff. I wear my meat undies But I still scratch my boss chin I take out for brain Cause I love my on it I ship promo codes

And drink Tiger Thick Wig skin And I'm never sober I hope I don't die And I don't ever wanna walk To my truck alone Take me to the place I love And give me some dough I don't ever wanna feel Like I did that day

Take me to the place I love. Please, Trash Tuesday. Yeah, yeah. One take. It's time for my favorite time of the week. When you get there, Papa,

try to speak. Release surprises today. You better actually watch 10 Minutes of Shop. All right. Welcome back to 10 Minutes of Shop. Thanks for tuning in. Join the Discord. But you didn't come here for that.

You came here for 10 Minutes. Let's start the timer now. First of all, shout out to the Discord. Shout out to Sad Kanye. I know you're going through right now, dude. Yeah, yeah. Who can only know what Sad Kanye is going through right now? That's the name of someone in the Discord. Not West.

Alright, so we're back at it again, dude. This one's posted by Air Pumper. It's called Toe Holds and Tiger Thick are too high end to discount just two business moguls talking about their empires all right here we go i'm learning so much like and also your your whiskey's quality that's piss yes and it takes a lot and the same thing with like because i i kept hounding ag about price 500 350 bucks but but he was like listen there are 550 steps to go into these these flip

flops we have a small team of people that make them by hand if they are not for everybody if you don't want them it's okay i don't want that the one thing i noticed is that people you may have a smaller customer base but we have more than we can handle so if you keep churning out fucking quality like that what we do is we get these customers that obsess and they order more. This is like a really lame version of the and one documentary. You watch the and one thing that are going over the history of and one was just great. I had no idea that was the history of it. So check. There's a blog for and one.

But he's like these flip flops, dude, like 550 a pair go into making them $550. They're the best flip flops thatflops that man has ever worn. He's talking about flip-flops. I don't want to sound like a homeowner, but he really sells flip-flops for more than $500? That doesn't make sense. We're probably misunderstanding what he said. But it's just that guys probably shouldn't wear flip-flops at all, right?

Yeah. Everybody hates flip-flops. Constantly shit on for people that wear flip-flops at all right yeah everybody hates flip-flops constantly shit on for people that wear flip-flops and uh and brian callan not only wears flip-flops but is so overly into them yeah and talks about them there's all those clips of a rogan being like come on shut up dude yeah like enough i not going to wear your shitty flip-flops. Flip-flops? It's sad. You black buzzer.

This is Callan's last, like, he's, this is his last battle. Like, he's going to die in this hill, this flip-flop hill. He needs this. More than one, more than two. That's not true. I don't believe that at all.

I don't believe at all. So it just depends on what kind of business model you're in. I think quality over, instead of mass production. Yeah. Let's think with our whiskey, it's a higher price point. So like that bourbon outfitters, who's our own. Dude. Oh, really, dude?

Oh, really? Bourbon outfitters? Man. You can't tell. Is that an alcoholism or speech impediment or both? All right. All right, Papa. He sent us the numbers last week because we're doing,

because I was like, oh, Black Friday's coming up. What are we doing for the discount? He's like, well, we don't discount Tiger Thick. He's too high end of a whiskey. He's like, have you ever seen like Happy's or any of these other? His Pennsylvania baseball thick boy squad jersey on too. We don't discount Tiger Thick, okay? I mean, that would be insane.

They would call us crazy for that. Shout out to the Changs for the dictionary. Yeah, yeah, the dictionary. We got a bunch of new things. If you check, been telling me to check the menu, so I read through the entire dictionary while we were setting up, you know? And honestly, you know, it was on real dude. It was very,

very thorough. Okay. If you discount tiger thick whiskey, you end up in the insane asylum seven times a week. You don't, you don't discount. You don't discount. I go,

we got to do some, otherwise what's the narrative on the black Friday? Yes. He's reading five dollars on shipping. He's like, and I'll, I'll eat that cost. Who doesn't have discounts? Yeah, he was like, we'll give you $5 off shipping. He's like, and I'll eat that cost. I'll take $5 off shipping but we'll discount it.

He said, he called me up and he goes, he goes, I think we're going to run a special. I go, what? He goes, $1 off. I was like,

that's fucking hilarious because that's it. You don't need to. It's just a different animal. Yeah. It's just a different animal. It's just, you know,

if you want them. But you learn the ropes. You learn the ropes. You learn the ropes. You learn the ropes. There's so many things when you actually look at numbers running a business. And I'm a numbers guy. I'm a numbers guy. Callan's like in that movie, Glen Gary, Glen Ross.

Yeah. Always be closing. I'm a closer. What's my name? I sold 550 flip-flops last year. And that's why I drove here in a BMW. What kind of car do you drive? Have you ever sold a flip-flop?

You haven't sold a flip-flop in two weeks. You're done. Two weeks. First place. I'm like botching all my words like Shab. First place is a brand new Ferrari. Second place, set of steak knives knives third place is you're done you're fired thick boy nation never will see you again talk about glen barbara mitch and murray and callan all right so this one is posted by silly goose time 69

okay shout out to the crystalia reference there uh when you paid 500k for monster lawyers but it's 2007 i don't know it's it looks like it's from the tiger belly yeah yeah the monster lawyers thing here goes here's here's the thing this is what's interesting explain this however you want when i notified you guys of the harassment and going back to tiger belly that account stopped posting took the tiger belly email off and changed it it's never posted again do you know how reddit works no yeah they were talking about we might need to cut that clip just want to let you guys know they were talking about that in the discord you know the um do you know you know how reddit works he's like no that's uh he went in there saying that he was going to uncover this

huge conspiracy that's taking place on reddit and he doesn't even know he probably didn't even use the website well you got to think dude if you got i feel like bop has definitely got the good angel bad angel thing happening at all times dude because it's not about the truth it's about what the angels are saying dude good angels like just say you don't because then it looks like you know too much bad angels you know i'm saying yeah so it is that he's just like he's thinking what it would be best to say right now that's why you get caught in all these fucking convoluted lies and shit you know what i mean somebody somebody on the discord said hey cooney i don't know if this has been asked already but have you have you ever had

any dealings with monster lawyers trying to get their stuff taken down and i didn't understand i forgot the reference and i just legitimately answered i was like no i haven't heard of them i'm so redacted oh you put beeper too what's that i remember seeing that you put beeper instead of boppa yeah and then i was like but we did get taken down by ben pixels one time so i think they may not i may have slipped through the cracks they may not have uh found my unhomelessness there oh yeah all right so uh this one's from uh aw184 water we dune hair b with the periods in between each so i don't like men anymore. Women. I like women. I don't wear makeup anymore.

I don't carry a purse. I like women. I don't want men. Women. Just standard meathead comedy. What is that in reference to? I don't know. It's just meathead comedy what is that in reference to i don't know it's just meathead comedy you know when a big dumb meathead thinks something's funny they like yell and dance like that and they think oh isn't it hilarious that i'm doing this but no it's just you know a guy

that's been hit too many times again dude good angel and dicey angel you know is trying to tell him how to become a comic you know what i mean yeah he maybe he's like i'm sure that there'll be a comment like he's stole that from this tv show or whatever you know like he takes small things from 2000s movies and then repackages it into like a way dumber thing where you're like, what? That's not, it doesn't make any sense. Yeah. And then it's Papa.

Okay. So this one's from Rogan is shorty pie. Supposedly this was Brenda's first time seeing the Alex MMA, our bet clip, the reaction to Ariel axing, why he watches scoops stuff. Number one, he said, he'll find you my new real life. Wow. watches Scoob's stuff. Number one, the ninja, he said he'll find Shimaev in real

light heavyweight. He was to find him at light heavyweight? So, Brandon Schaub, I think he was running his mouth. You know, not that I'm not even going to translate. What did he say? What did he say? This is incredible. He was talking shit? Yeah, but Brandon, I think he said

that he talked a lot of crap that Shemaiah will run over and blah, blah, blah. And also he said that he'll be able to take Alex down in 30 seconds. Shemaiah will take him down? Yes. Why is he watching Brandon Chubb videos? Oh, hey, hey, hey, hold on, hey. Pause it, Shemaiah, pause it. Ariel,

I thought we were cool. That was me, and you're not cool. I thought we were cool. No, you're not cool. In the episode earlier, we were talking about how you've got to let go of your hate. I have no hate for Ariel. I know. I actually like Ariel's show. I said it out loud.

I don't mind it. It's good. He's a hell of a journalist. All right. He's the best we got. I like Luke Thomas, but that's fine. I love him too. I like Ariel.

All right. So let's go. Let's keep going. That was mean. That was a little too shy. He proposed to do a bet with Schaub. He said he'd buy his mother $50,000 if he beat Shmaev. We both go. And those 50K from both...

I mean, the Ariel Hawani beef with Chubb is fascinating. Yes. The beige frequency video that you guys put me on to was great. And I love that. But is this after that? After all of that? I feel like this has to be last week's, right? Because this is Chimaev and Pereira.

Is that what it was? Chimaev and Pereira. Is that what they said? I don't even know if that was a. That's not been a fight yet, right? But you know what I noticed? Where's BGL at, dude? Oh, is he normally in this thing?

Yeah. I mean, thank God he's blocked out or not there. No, he's not there. Maybe you just block him out. Maybe we both block him out. Yeah, we can't see him anymore. That's when you know you're homeless. When you can't even see BGL any longer.

Oh, really? That's achieving full homelessness. He's just not there anymore. That video, we watched some of BGL's thing. Oh, yeah. And the last, before we were recording the last episode, and it's horrifyingly bad. He has a whole episode where he just talks about people that hate him,

and I don't want to talk about him in it. I don't really understand. I don't know enough about the UFC to really know what's going on in this. Me neither, to be honest with you, dude. I know the show lives and dies in the clips and they're not bad clips, but we're just, I don't really know. Well, the song's great. It does seem like they're saying he's lying.

I believe you. He lies quite often. So I'm sure he's lying about whatever he's doing there. Oh, there's a lot of nostalgia happening in the T fat case subreddit as of the last week. I don't know if you noticed that. No,

I'm surprised that, um, what do you mean? Like posting old clips? Yeah. Like, yeah, no,

I saw, I did see some old clips. I like how you just said no. And then, you know, I mean, I'm tired, you know,

as usual working the long shift at the job and then clocking in at chang chang some people say we're not even qualified to clean the shitter you know so we're like basically in it we're interning there haters trying trying to get a job you know never seen it dude never seen it never heard it never heard it not one of our guys not one of our guys never met him okay i saw they had a tiger belly email address though we're saying well yeah we're going to hire monster lawyers okay come on the thread classic clip b schlaub in full parrot mode for papa rogan by this one's posted by do you even double leg okay um yeah you randy fell faces my spirit animal here we go he's for real His fights in his early career

Were way more exciting He was a savage early on He was very technical And the volume The volume And the bobbing and weaving That Robbie was doing Like what was all that about

He had to be tired I mean I guess so Doing all that bobbing and weaving Oh yeah Just repeating everything And he's a big fucking strong guy And when he clipped him With that left hook

He knocked him out he looked slow yeah he looked real slow santo's a fucking savage man santo's a savage for sure and i'm 100 support reversing that law percent it look how's it this is like when you're trying to sell somebody on something yeah you're trying to get them to buy something or get in their good graces used car salesman energy yeah huge used car salesman oh say it right yeah huge huge car salesman energy i'm dying here papa um but yeah he's just trying to sell them on say oh Oh yeah. Definitely. No, you're right.

Yeah, absolutely. Oh, it's a great day today. Oh, such a good day. Great day to buy what I'm selling. The greatest day.

Yeah. You know, you, you know what I was thinking? Well, you just said it's absolutely right. It's Netflix. Everything you're saying is a hundred percent correct. And more.

A hundred percent. All right, Joe, you're savage. There's no conversation. What are we talking about? I don't know. It sounds like an awesome idea and I'm free that weekend. Great idea.

I don't think we have to. You didn't have to. What about the store? Well, I love the store, but I also love the improv. I've been doing a lot of improv shows. The store is great. The ice house is amazing. It's really incredible. But I hear... I want one. They're real expensive, right? It's really incredible. But I hear... Yeah, I want one. I mean, they're real expensive, right?

No, it's $150 on the 80s. The most expensive. Oh, that's not that bad. Not terrible. I thought it was like half a million. Me too. I thought at least $350. I don't know.

I'm not sure. Just so afraid of Dana. I don't know what you're saying. I don't know, bro. See Dana go hard in the paint. You know what? I like when he goes hard in the paint. Forever.

Forever. You got to come out guns blazing every time. you know what I like when he goes hard in the paint forever forever you gotta come out guns blazing every time you know what's really funny who I had work with me at the improv the other night is Jimmy O. Yang

oh he's amazing I don't know what he is I don't either the other thing to me that's interesting is I used to always think it was kids who on

you know are in their basement and they're on Reddit they're these losers and they have nothing to live for probably true some of them most nine out of ten they should definitely they should definitely should torture a man uh just just just ah just a quick it's a it's not fair man jimmy o yang jimmy o yang's my favorite comic dude i went up to him and he was like hey brennan shaw where's paying your life

where's paying your life paying your life oh which speaking of which dude uh uh my good friend put me onto this hilarious clip dude oh um when was it posted two years ago this is supposed to two years ago in chang's vintage uh vintage chang's it's uh from the user nice areas it's called catlian lee's worst audition i'm pretty sure cat this is from back in the day when i used to listen to t-fat k cat was on the show i don't know if cat is still on the show i don't know but what is her what is her thing on the show she was basically like the the chin to the chin you know what i mean okay she was like chin's chin i feel like i've seen her before on some of the clips. Yeah.

So check it out. This is fucking hilarious. I already watched it. Let's see. I got to make it big though and make it loud. Ready? Yeah. I can't stop feeling guilty.

Mr. Sharp. I should have stayed with her that night. I'm sorry for your loss. What was the reason for her to die like that? You need many, many stitches. She was hurting so badly. What was the reason in that? This would be worth spending your life.

Guaranteed. Worth spending your life. Well done. Well done. Yeah, she didn't do a good job acting there. I don't want to make fun of her, though. She seems... No, she seems like a nice person. Yeah. Yeah, she didn't do a good job acting there. I don't want to make fun of her, though. She seems... No, she seems like a nice person.

Yeah. Yeah, anyways, that's fucking hilarious, dude. Yeah, good job. Man. But your lip. But your lip. All right, well... Sorry for your loss.

Hi, my name is Greg Zoo. We want to do maybe... We wanted to do another parody song, whereas the Joker by Steve Miller man's like, some people call me the UFC doctor. Yeah. Some people call me a giant Asian man. Some people call me Greg.

Well, honestly, dude, it'd be a good idea to have people comment. What song should we parody for the UFC doctor bit, dude? Oh yeah, definitely.

Yeah. So leave a comment. Let us know what song you want us to make a UFC doctor song about. What do you want to see, dang Frankie Wadsworth, huh? Protein farts. Disco protein farts. All right, so this one's back to the past week of shop clips here. This one's from the Nikola Jakov. Green Perception.

All right. Okay, okay. This one's called You Know Who He's Talking About. It's a clip from, what's his name? Chris D'Elia's podcast. So let's see what you think. Brandon, I've already seen this one. Go to sleep.

And that is why you traveled the day before. Because I would have missed both of my banging ass shows. And 6,100 of you would have been sad as shit and dude let me tell you something man i put that 100 in there 6100 because i tell people how many tickets i sell dude i found out comedians be lying about their ticket sales for real that's crazy oh really dude we're all very fortunate to do what we do for a living there's no reason to lie about that what do you have you know what's no reason to lie about that. What was he talking about, B?

I think he's talking about Bapa. Oh. Yeah, he's lying about how much he sells, whether he's going to be there at all. And then Randy Felface comes in and just sells out the whole venue. Shops left holding drink tickets they can't. Holding his balls in his sack, dude. Yeah, yeah. Not Netflix.

Blog bust off. Blog bust off. 100%. This one was quite the roar this week. It was posted by Podgeman. It's called Biological Primal Desires. I haven't seen this yet. I've seen it in the feed every time I go through my phone.

I think I watched it. All right. Well, let's see what this is all about then here. Rape for a long time was considered fun. Oh man. That's a lot darker than I thought it would be. Yeah. Yeah.

It's not, uh, I went, the dancing is funny still. Yeah. But yeah, the topic is kind of, yeah, it's a, it's a lot. Oh, Brian Callen, dude. All right. We got one more clip left here, dude. It's, uh, let's try to end on a scoop note. You know what I mean, it's a lot. Oh, Brian Callen, dude. All right. We got one more clip left here, dude. It's a, let's try to end on a scoop note. You know what I mean, dude?

Hell yeah. I might've cut the last clip. Yeah. Why don't we cut? Yeah. We should just cut the last. Yeah. We should just clip the last clip out.

Yeah. So sorry if it was a hard cut right there. Um, this one's posted by Rogan is shorty pie. The tried and true. You know what I mean? A scoop Tom about the, how the MPMD guy exposing the liver king could have been handled nicer and slips into his broken record jealous haters rhetoric out of habit.

Love the long title. Yeah, as always, a hit with Mr. Coon. So another problem in society that we're talking about with Smokey Maris, but the mentality to be the first one to tear somebody down, it breaks my heart like uh you could have you could have called him some he'd be like hey dude how do you before i drop this like what do you want to do or like you know like or if you want i'll have you on we can talk about this i think there's a better way to do it because we're so quick to

society in general because they haven't risked what other people have risked to get to a certain point, whatever it is. They want to tear them down, man, because that makes them feel better. I don't know. I just don't subscribe to it. Hey, one second. Hey, Liver King. Hey, yeah. How did I get your number?

Don't worry about it. This is Brendan Cooney. Yeah, I'm an open miker. I just wanted to ask, can you stop lying about taking steroids? Please. Or else I'm going to expose you to the internet. Yeah, sorry, man. You got to stop lying, though.

Like, his point saying, you could have just called him, man. What are you talking about? Yeah, it's going to be dicey dicey for you, dude. Hey, hey, Brian. Hey, Brian Callen. Yeah, Brendan Cooney. be dicey dicey for you, dude. Hey, Brian. Hey, Brian Callen. Yeah, Brendan Cooney. Hey, your podcast sucks. So you can just stop doing it.

And when you dance, the dancing doesn't go with the whole, you maybe are a monster that has attacked women thing. You got to stop. No, when you talk about the difference between rape and sexual assault, you got to stop doing that. Yeah, yeah. Papa. Papa.

Listen, I know the flip-flops thing. I've said it's lame that you try and sell flip-flops as an old man, but it's much better than you talking about the difference between rape and then dancing with Brendan Schaub on the puck. So, all right, all right. Well, I got to go. I have something better to do. Make fun of Schaub. Hey puck. So, all right. All right. Well, I got to go. I have something better to do. Make fun of Schaub on my –

Yeah. Hey, D'Elia. Hey. Another – I'm sorry. I have your number too. Hey, Joe. Joe Rogan.

Yeah. Brendan Cooney here. Yeah. Maybe stop having all these only fringe right-wingers on your podcast. It's kind of turning people – Also, could you stop platforming the worst comedians that we've ever seen? Shob, Andrew Schultz.

Hold on one second. I got another call coming. Hey, Andrew Schultz, your special is just really predictable bits about Mexican women having a lot of kids and black people can't swim. And I just don't think any of it's funny. And also, you're a rich kid who has a fake accent. So if you could just stop all doing all of that, that be great all right hey bgl can you stop hey hey bgl could you

stop existing hey yeah um well that's that's what baba wants us to do he wants us to call him we gotta start calling listen homeless cats they want direct phone calls. Yeah. Okay? So before every clip you're about to put out, go to Shab directly on Reddit and Twitter. He's throwing us a bone, dude. He's telling us what to do. He wants you to send messages.

Yeah. DMs. And say, hey, as much as we did right now. Stop being a jealous hater. Yeah. You know, with all your smoking mares um you just uh you know you didn't risk at all you didn't risk at all okay so like every time beige frequency makes a bop of video dude he wants to be on there papa wants to be on there let me ask you a question did beige frequency

risk at all okay is he doing it for his messican is he you know as he built a mansion for his Mexican? As he built a mansion for his Mexican? Okay, no. He's just a jealous hater and he doesn't matter. He's on the internet making videos for these homeless cats and people that work at P.F. Chang's. It's not okay. Well, that's all the clips for this week, dude. Yeah.

So, hope you enjoyed the show this week. Hopefully, we'll have a big guest next week. Who knows? But thanks for tuning in. Join the Discord. Bye.