10 Minutes of Schaub - Bert and Brendan laugh WAY TOO MUCH! | 10 Minutes of Schaub #

Episode Date: March 15, 2023

Forty Second episode of 10 Minutes of Schaub

Drink too much whiskey in the studio Iced coffee, Adderall, and Diet Coke Guys bein' dudes and I was there with Brinks Shoulda seen me gone pissin' in the sink Let's piss Everybody, let's piss Everybody on the whole team knows When Papa drinks, he just goes

One take Stop at my favorite time of the week. When you get near Bob, let her try to speak. Release surprises today. You better actually watch 10 Minutes of Shob. Welcome back to

10 Minutes of Shob. Thanks for tuning in. Join the Patreon. Join the Discord. All the episodes are on Spotify now but we have a new segment the McCorkle Minute take it away Sean I was like

I never use these jokes like I was looking through but the more I looked at it today like it was so old a lot of the jokes wouldn't work I was like dude some of these were written

so long ago like the girls that Chris D'Elia was hitting on at the time are probably almost legal now like I really was thinking like these are so old so I see thank you Sean but that's not why you're here today Leah was hitting on at the time are probably almost legal now. Like I really was thinking that like, these are so old.

So I see. Thank you, Sean. But that's not why you're here today. You're here for 10 minutes to shop. So start the timer now. Thank you, Sean.

This one is posted by Rogan is shorty pie. It's a clinch. And why did you laugh? That's pretty funny. I forgot to say, play the chin clip. Yeah. You,

uh, you did that. It's funnier, funnier. Um, it's called the fake laughing at the Louis CK bit went on for minutes. This is, this is the part where Scoob had to resort to a Rogan laugh, copying Bert's pass out line and falling all over his cheer. Oh!

It's so bad! She pretends she's on her phone. Why would they have that there? Why would they have that there? Why would they have that there? Do would they have that there? Why would they have that there? Do you follow words? It's so good. It's so fucking funny.

Brian goes, they can't do that anymore. That's why I'm laughing. They can't do that anymore. Brian. I'm crying. I'm fucking crying laughing. I can't get out of here. I'm a devil hearted guy.

Do you think they went to the furniture store and was like, what are some good chairs to laugh in? That'd be funny if it was so, they're so lame that they're like, we need anything we can get. Chairs that are funny. Do you have chairs that are funny? But what I was thinking is like. Do you fake laughs on the chairs to see if they want to buy them?

Yeah, they test out their fake laughs oh no we're going mean like real quick but um i mean i hate that those guys laughing that hard makes me mad because i want to be you know i see people that happy i want to like yeah be in on how happy they are but it's just so awful i laughed that hard when we were at the taco truck and you said but it's just so awful i laughed that hard when we were at the taco truck and you said umpate de agua i did laugh that hard yeah no that was real yeah i mean i said it all crazy and it deserved to be laughed at but this is fake and awful oh it's so bad even if it's real it's bad i don't i hate it yeah yikes i wish i liked it i feel like a hater i feel like a hater baby I feel like a hater, baby. To be fully transparent, though, I can watch any episode of our show and be laughing very hard. But it's like the newness of the clip chin is what makes me laugh that hard.

Watching it again, you're like, that's not that funny. But it's like the- Yeah, the chefs are always coming out with new content. That's what I'm saying. It's just a barrage of new things. The sink pissing is new and you know, there's going to be something else. It comes up.

And now this is kind of an old bit, but Bert laughing all crazy, you know, it's great stuff. It's great stuff, Jen. Great. So it's not over yet.

So we still got a little bit of laughter to go. Keep the, the Clint going, Chip. Fuck. He goes, they couldn't do that to me. Rubbing their eyes. I can't believe he beat't do that. They couldn't do that to me. Rubbing their eyes.

I can't believe he beat up a woman. They couldn't do that to me. Yeah, you're right. I can't stop. I can't stop. Oh, Brian goes, they couldn't do that to me. In the New York Times, it said. The Rogan laugh.

Mental illness. Yeah, yeah. The Rogan laugh doesn't bother me because the other stuff is so annoying. So much more annoying, you know? Yeah. Yikes. Oh,

really? Oh, really? Dude, there's doing the running man laughing. They should stop laughing seven times a week. All right. So this one's posted by Rogan is shorty pie.

It's called Bert has to leave dot, dot, dot for a familiar reason. Let's say this. I don't know. Where do I have to go? I was trying to make it slick. I got dinner with my parents pretty soon.

We got to go to dinner, bro. Yeah, sorry, guys. Hold on. The thing about Buzzkill is he just can't do it. Good job. So awkward. It's like Shab is the simpsons you know it's already happened once yeah you just play roll the clip back and find it he will not be the first person to be like man i

gotta go to dinner i gotta leave because this sucks this is blog bussa the suckiest dude this is the word you've heard of suck before right this is how i feel right now being in the t fat k circus studio we start doing fake laughs yeah dude uh this one's called boppa's genuine laughter posted again by rogan is shorty pie yes where's the whiskey let me tell you how are you done already yeah i'm quick holy shit i'm on steroids this listen you know this this is giving me like success vibes what's like this episode's gonna do numbers b he's a numbers guy yeah let's not forget that he's hyped that bert's there i mean i can relate a little bit to you have somebody who's a really funny guest and you maybe are excited

yeah that's not even if if it was just him laughing like that at the um bert's throwaway steroid line that wouldn't be that blog bus but it's the clip before that that makes me be like i hate that one too. Yeah. I'm going to laugh like that at all your jokes, man. I mean, you know, I've had worse happen to me, Papa. If you wanted to hurt me, you did, brother. Okay, so this one's called

Tired of All the Lies, posted by Slowdoggy1. Let's see what this is about. Joe told me long before, during the pandemic, when Joe was going through all that, they were trying to cancel him because of the-word all that stuff i was called we talked every day and he's like i'm like you good he's like i've never been better man i'm like what the fuck's wrong with you he goes shrooms i microdose shrooms he's like you gotta start doing i'm like dude you're out of your mind didn't talk to him about it ever again. What? During the pandemic, didn't talk to him ever again.

Redacted Irish hat. Redacted thick boy St. Paddy's Day stuff. Yeah. I was in Hermosa Beach this weekend and they had like a big St. Paddy's Day parade. I wonder if there's any thick boy merch there. I should have gone scoped it out, film looking for stuff.

Yeah. Thick boy in the wild, see if there's any Irish people that are sporting the thick boy merch. What it called my roommate went to santa monica for and for work but found a gym nearby i was like talking about abbott kenny b he's like you know chin yeah man you cannot help use this but help use this lingo in real life well you know that they they were all about abbott Caney back in the day. Oh, they were?

Yeah. Oh, wow. I didn't know that. It's a deep cut. Right. I respect people a little bit less if they're like us. You know, they're friends and they don't know the lingo.

Yeah. Like girlfriend, like friends of friends. I don't really care if they don't know it, but I'd like them more if they did, you know, they'd be a little bit more Netflix if they could get, get with me about playing the chin clip.

Yeah. If ever you get in a fight with your girlfriend and be like, well, you're not into Brendan shop. So, you know, I mean, if people are kind of,

you know, not on the same wavelength when it comes to shop stuff, I'd be like, all right, Mr. Whole Foods, what are we doing here? Okay. I'm doing here. Papa. This one's called another organic Bapa laughs. It's going to be a lot all right, Mr. Whole Foods. What are we doing here? What are we doing here, Papa?

This one's called Another Organic Papa Laugh. It's going to be a lot of burning laughing today. That's what I'm getting. It's posted by RoganIsShortyPie. I have been invited by anesthesiologist. We're going to be attending. He went right out. Oh my God. Oh man.

That is kind of what Boppa is like. Wow. Just an app comparison from Rogan and Shorty Pie. Yeah. This is a, I didn't know today's episode is going to be an introspection about laughter because now whenever I laugh, I feel like I'm doing that.

Well, as we've talked about before, you should never worry about what you do because it will never be as bad as Papa. He is there to make us feel better. Kind of. You're right. Yeah.

We don't matter. We don't matter at all. I almost feel bad for saying that thing earlier about my friends. I don't want all my friends to know shopisms. That would be crazy. That would be too far probably. Yeah. I'm just, oh man. But would it be better? Living in the Bobaverse? You know what I mean?

I mean, I do love the lingo. It is a lot of fun and it would be nice if everybody knew it. Yeah. It would be nice to have more chefs on the fryers. I guess I just want it both ways. Yeah. Yeah. Alright, so this one's called I Don't Want That Toe Hogan posted by Tank2828. That name is a little shout out. I don't know

if you noticed that. Fight comparing Joe Rogan. It's on Jerry. The live is on Rogan's YouTube and then it goes to Spotify. That's for Leon Edwards vs. Usman. It's going to be Rogan, Eddie Bravo, myself, a special guest. Love you guys. 24 hours later. Edwards, Kamaru Usman going down for the main event. me, Rogan, Eddie Bravo, myself, a special guest. Love you guys. 24 hours later. Edwards,

Kamaru Usman going down for the main event. Fight companion Rogan is not happening. Jamie has some golf thing he has to do, and my family's doing some stuff for my B-Day, so it just did not work out, so we're rescheduling for the next fight companion in Austin, Texas with Joe Rogan.

God, this is a disaster. It's the biggest disaster. Dang, it didn't happen during Jamie's golf thing. It's just not, it wasn't in the cards. They shot for the stars, you know, landed somewhere in the moon. I always say that. Yeah, you say it right.

I say it right. Yeah, I don't remember how he said it wrong, but you know. Aim for the moon, land somewhere in the stars, dude. Something like that, right? Something crazier than that, but I'd have to look it up to know. I want to say that Tank2828's taking a turn here, and he's, you know, starting to block out Boppa's face. I don't know how I feel about that.

How do you feel about this? Interesting. Yeah, I didn't even think about that. I mean, I think it's funny. The clown thing is pretty funny. I wouldn't want it blanked out all the time, but maybe that's Tank's thing. Maybe that's his note.

Oh. Like a tagger. His little calling card his calling card yeah you know that's a right so the cat yeah exactly so the cats know yeah another spicy dish is being served who knows by somebody that just don't matter dude this one's posted by sorgon bird uh an original poster here original poster uh rinks is over it is what it's called let's see what this is about oh fuck man i laugh at it every time he's like play it one more time I don't care if it just gets off one more time

he's like play it one more time but in the way that you're like just one more time yeah that's the worst when two people or other people

think something's way more funny than you do yeah oh that's an awful feeling I feel bad for ranks there but do they really find out no that's

even that makes it even more annoying because you know that they're just kind of like hamming it up for the cameras or whatever they know at any moment somebody's going to come in yeah and be like hey where am i because they let anybody in their studio yeah so they gotta laugh and get the laughs brian's over here like dude we should be talking about our numbers that does really good he's like why can't we talk about how many views we get i mean

this is like this is sidetracking the whole thing i gotta talk about how many views we get? I mean, this is like, this is sidetracking the whole thing. I got to talk about how I'm divesting from another company. A sock company. Everyone wants to hear about that. No, no one does. Why would they ever want to talk about that? Any kind of sponsorship is boring. And then you're talking about literally how you're not part of the sponsorship anymore. How much more?

And then you start going in the history of the company. Was that next? It's like, well, Toehold was started in 19, all right, 2012 by an investor. And it's like, shut the fuck up. Talk about this shit too much, B. All right, so this one's posted by TombowXJ. And from what I can see,

there's a lot of TombowXJ clips here. So let's see how his dishes taste, right? Great name. Never seen it. So this one's called, Brian actually had an interesting story here and had to keep trying to get it in and finally just gave up

because of the two Redux nonstop fake laughing. Papa has to backtrack at the end of his dumb, know-it-all comment. Do you think this is Brian's secret account? Probably. Because it definitely, it sounds like something Brian would write for himself, but fair enough.

You're good. Well, I got a story about Sizemore. Really? We had the same agent. My agent goes, my agent calls me up and goes, you know,

he's unhirable. And I told him, I told him to talk to you. No, he goes, I told him to talk to you. So I, so I'm like,

Oh, he's a woman. I think he died, right? I think. Yeah. Yeah. That's what we're talking about. about yeah i know who we're talking about

so you see how it went hey uh chin bring him up in my head i was like you're gonna find out that he's dead great i'm like oh he died amazing actor how did he die he was such a good actor saving private ryan fucking blackhawk down, amazing. But he had, he got to a point where my agent said, look, he's unhirable because of the drugs.

And he goes, can you talk to him? I go, I don't know anything about drugs and why would you want me to talk to him? So long story short, I'm on the phone with him

talking to him. About drugs? Yeah, but I'm like, I'm not giving Tom Sizemore any advice on anything. I'm not giving him life advice. Tom definitely don't have a mohawk, right? Great guy though, really nice guy Tom Sizemore any advice on anything. I'm not giving him life advice. Definitely don't have a mohawk, right?

Great guy, though. Really nice guy. Nice guy. Back in the day. Yeah, he did. Apparently his brain aneurysm happened at CrossFit. Well, he was a really good guy. I'm kidding.

I made that up. I don't know if he kills people. You know, the whole time, it's hard to watch the clip because i like bird you know yeah and i hate to see him in this place and i feel like there's a lot of weight on his shoulder because he's got to carry the whole thing yeah and uh so he's trying yes you know he's saying stuff he's laughing he's playing it up he's dealing with two lunatics to read the reed x are the in this clip are Brian and Sean. Brandon.

Yeah. I mean, Bert's got to do it. He's got to lift a lot. Yeah. The, like, CrossFit joke, it's not great, but it's better than anything that they're loving up. Brian's trying to tell some serious story about Tom Sizemore's addiction or something, and Brandon is just being insensitive as usual.

Someone, Oh, he's dead. Is he dead? Or like, ah, a lot of people die. And it's like,

you know, you got to deal with a lot. If you go on the T-FAC, you gotta be ready. Yeah. Get to prepare. Yeah. That's,

you know, he sent out like five messages before this episode saying Addies. Who Bert? No, no pendant. He's like, I gotta get ready for this. This is Brendan on high performance.

Like he's doing performance enhancing drugs. And this is what you get. Not good. Yeah. He needs something else. He drank 100 milligrams of Kratom for sure. To be this bad. Yes.

All right. So this one's posted by Rogan is shorty pie. It's called two oversensitive grifters. Have a moment about European podcasters. This sounds interesting interesting georgia spokane's coming up belfast i'm headed to europe so june 15th belfast belfast hold on belfast ireland yeah oh dude shout out to my uh whose podcast are you doing when you're up there probably uh true geordie that's who i hooked you up with yeah true geordie's there he's in london right but there's a great belfast podcast up there i'll set you up yeah yeah yeah yeah so it's belfast glass cat man i would love to watch that irish guy's been like so oh my god green gold

poppy that's the worst thing i've ever heard in my life why would you do we gotta dress like leprechauns when that happens dude i'm down i've done it before i'll do it again nothing too redacted for me sir you did it in the middle of october oh yeah i did it for halloween i forgot yeah wow it's funny if i say middle of october like it's just another middle of october you said it as irish as possible i know what you're doing chin yeah oh talking about a couple of european podcasters yeah Yeah. Yeah. Bird, treasure, Brandon shop. And that other guy that's been, you know,

he's been in trouble. He's a listen, listen, scoop. We don't have diet Coke up here. Okay. No diet Coke. Getting creative in Ireland.

It's difficult. Yeah. But we do have Adderall. Adderall. I have a friend. All right. So this one's posted by Tom about XJ. It's called nothing like peer pressure to make pure pressure instead of peer pressure.

If I had a podcast in Ireland, you do it. Nothing like pure, pure pressure. I don't know why it throws me off so much. You read that. Pure pressure. Oh,

wow. Yeah, that's a good one. Nothing like pure pressure to make people who work for you drink in the morning. Tom out makes me feel better about my alcoholism let's see what this is about i enjoy moments i enjoy moments and i think alcohol gets you to that moment because it lowers everyone's guard and it brings you closer when you say to each other

um like the other morning at the airport we're at the airport and we came up with a tv show for uh i came up with a tv show idea and uh everyone liked it and everyone got excited so a whole team traveling my trainer my everyone and no one wanted to drink and i'd already had a cocktail and i started i started soft punching people's arms going oh we got an idea who wants to make an idea who wants a cocktail and then everyone the first one when you break the first card and he goes okay i'll have a bloody mary and then everyone's like i'm gonna take a bloody mary that energy that energy is what makes the god's dicks hard i mean i'm sorry i'm a dirty alcoholic so i relate to that i'm sorry

but what i what i was thinking of during this clip is can you imagine okay you're the sink and you see burt kreischer and brennan schaub how scared are you if you're the sink and you see Burt Kreischer and Brennan Schaub. How scared are you if you're the sink? I'm happy to see Burt scared for Scoob for sure. Right. I mean, there's definitely going to be some peeing in the sink in this episode. Yeah. 100%. Oh yeah, that sink

is getting a lot of action right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Chin's, you know, Chin's exposed to a lot. I'm just going to say that. There's exposed to a lot i'm just gonna say that there's gonna what you're saying is that chan is gonna see both their penises yeah yeah yeah and it's probably gonna affect his singing later when he's doing his r&b stuff and i heard that uh brandon pissed in the sink so did burt and then uh brian came in it without asking thanks i see dicey bro all righty i'll cut that part out so this one's called don't drink for the taste um posted by

uh highlight numerous now what throws me off here is the parentheses saying noise warning i don't know what that's all about uh but you don't you don't care about the taste burt the taste of what of whatever it is it's not the taste You're just drinking because you like the effect. No, I don't drink for the taste. You don't drink? You don't sip tequila? I don't fuck for the eye contact. I fuck for the cum.

I want the fucking orgasm. I don't want to connect with her. I just want to fuck and have her. I don't drink. I don't drink for the her. I don't drink. I don't drink for the taste. I don't drink for the fucking taste. I just love the taste of this thing that's been aged in a barrel for fucking 30 years. As opposed to a fucking root beer, which is so fucking good.

Brian's the opposite. I know. I like a sipping tequila. God damn it, dude. I'm like, well, what is this? Where? How is this? Asian cherry cast. No. Oh, fuck. I got another one. Yeah, no, you can have as much as you want of tiger. Yeah, the no, I don't. I definitely don't. I don't. It's rain for the taste I don't mind like I mean I can get super tiny bit

do a little taste hey Pete can you grab me another ice cube out of the fridge yeah the fridge is a bunch of ice cubes that I enjoy

yeah yeah it's the fridge known for having ice cubes yeah I'd play that again it's pretty funny yeah the fridge is a bunch of ice cubes the fridge is known for having ice cubes. Yeah, I'd play that again. It's pretty funny. Yeah, in the fridge there's a bunch of ice cubes. In the fridge there's a bunch of ice cubes. In the fridge there's an ice luge.

Brandon's a fighter and he's constantly fighting the English language. The reason that Bert is saying he doesn't drink for the taste is because they're drinking Tiger Thick. Yeah. Of course you don't drink for the taste when it's that. Maybe that's why he's laughing. Yeah, I mean, that's such a stupid question to ask him. Do you drink for the taste?

Like, what is this? Yeah. Why do we talk about the topics that we talk about? Can we get a producer in here to tell us what we're doing? What are we doing here, Bob? It's like saying, do you piss for the toilet? You know what I mean? I mean, I agree.

I agree with you. Do you piss for the toilet? I piss for the sink. I personally, I piss for the sink. I'm so slow. I didn't see where you'reree with you. Do you piss for the toilet? I piss for the sink. I personally piss for the sink. I'm so slow. I didn't see where you're going with that, but that's good. No, I piss for the sink, actually. And then he just takes it and goes and pees.

He should pee live. Lean into it, man. Yeah. Everybody's talking about it, and now you know because how he confronted you, so you can't be like, oh, I don't read social media. I don't see it. Now you know. Do a bit.

That would be funny. I would laugh at that if he's like, see it. Now, you know, do a bit. Yeah. That would be funny. I would laugh at that. If he's like, hold on a second. And then he's like pissing off camera. Bro. If his next guest was the sink, the sink's like,

I have a lot of stuff. I mean, you know what you did? The sink. It's him in the sink on Maury. And I don't blame Bert for freaking out when he did that because it's just a stupid question. Yeah. But you know, but he's not wrong.

Sometimes there's certain drinks that are better. There's like tequila that's better than other tequilas. So, yeah. The taste is better. But, you know, that's not the reason that you're drinking it. All right. Okay. So this one's posted by Sharpen Your Teeth.

It's called Favorite Person in Planet Earth, Bert Christer. So let's see what this is about this episode of the fire and the kid with bert chryser is brought to you by helix mattresses bert chryser it sounds like a demeaning word for christians yeah it sounds like he's saying bert is some sort of godlike figure bert is is the son of God. My favorite friend, Bert Kreiser. You know him because he was dead and he was resurrected, and now we all pray to him. What?

Oh, really, dude? His name is Bert Kreiser? Bert Kreisler. Burnt Christ toast. All right, so this next one's called Boppa Getting Marketing advice from burt the belly chrysler posted by playful wolverine 95 you've certain networks and come over and have me produce it because i have a great i have a great setup with a great group of people i think we all

used to work together at one time that does my ad sales and it's been very beneficial and i've learned a lot working with tom over at your mom's house and so i'm trying to build mine and people go hey can we just do ours out of yours and then you can take your cut it's complicated it gets complicated and i don't want i don't want to i have enough money and so i don't want to take money from people but there's no way to run a business without taking a little bit of money you can't and so i just go fuck it i'll just do me and my wife it's me and my wife i have two bears or i have a bird cast uh your mom's or god damn it bird cast wife of the party uh something's burning and open tabs and i do them out of there and then we do all our production for like our youtube channel out of there and then all the promos come out of there

and then what we're hoping to do is turn into a media company where like when we were talking earlier we're like i would love the opportunity to help comics sell tickets. It's something I've dialed in on maybe too much at times, but like- You're the best at it. That's why I come to you with any of that stuff.

I just have, I come up with an idea and I used to just go, I know I'll do that. And now I know I can afford it to make them. And they don't all hit. Some miss,

but like the ones that hit, pop and you see, and then you make, you make a good amount of money selling tickets. Yeah, you get a return on it. Well, sometimes what I'll find is I go to a town, and people- What's so funny? I'm just laughing at he's doing the thing again where he just repeats, yeah, it's good.

Yeah, you get a return on it. Thanks, Brendan. The returnist. Everybody should treat Schaub like Anthony Jeselnik does. Like, got it. Yeah. Brendan. The returnist. Everybody should treat Schaub like Anthony Jezelnik. Just like, got it. Yeah. Right. Uh-huh. Here it goes. They see me, like if I go somewhere, I get

recognized a lot. I know where you're going. Where's they go? And it's like, what the fuck you doing here? They don't know I'm here. Son, let me tell you. I'm a fan. What are you doing here? I have to rely on this club. Let's fucking preach. So I have a theory. Never lie. You're not successful in comedy.

If anyone you go to that city, you're not doing your job. Anytime you go to that city, people go, when are you coming to Boston? This is what happens to me all day. This is so- What do I do about that? So I learned, this is how I learned. You get a wig. A wig?

I don't know if that's going to work. See, he has bad ideas. I mean, I'll do it. No, no, you do your show, then you put on a wig. It's not a bad idea I'll do it to promote a city that's not a bad idea for a promotion I'm not even fucking around yeah you're in Boston and you guys I was in Boston I might do it sales were low and people keep asking me about my shows and then you put on a wig and you walk around like, hey man, do you know when Brian Connell's coming down? You're like, no, but he's in Tarzana next week.

That's a great fucking promo. And by the way, you've got to make, the biggest people kill themselves by over-analyzing just a thought. Because once you turn on the camera, you will make it fun. Once you turn on the camera, so here's how i changed everything for me

because i so i got offered to do red rocks with jim jeffries at the time i knew i was probably good for like for for the love of god someone needs to bring these guys all the comedians that do this in a room and tell them hey man nobody cares nobody cares about how to best advertise yourself you know whether they recognize you in the city or not job shop doesn't even know where boston is he doesn't know what new england is it's got to be horrifying for him he's like when are you coming back to maine he's like dude i don't even know where maine is not only could i not find it in a map i didn't know it was a state okay i didn't know africa was a continent Okay. I didn't know Africa was a continent. All right.

I don't know where I'm going. All right. I just go. Yep. Bapa just goes. This advice is painful for Brennan to hear. He doesn't know what he's doing and I don't want to listen to it. Yeah.

Stop telling me about your numbers, B. It's hard when you're a numbers guy. Yeah. I know. Although I am a numbers guy. All right. So this one's posted by Tom about X J. It's called what a piece of shit

Bapa is. Sometimes I just really hit. It comes out hot, dude. For sure. Yeah, it's called what a piece of shit Bapa is. Rings clearly says it was 15 years ago, but Brendan has to interject and let him know it wasn't his current marriage.

Let's see. Doug made a speech at my wedding. Wasn't supposed to. I had my wedding and this is 15 years ago and, and everybody's speaking, you know, all my friends, Jimmy Burke,

hilarious. My sister, fucking hilarious. Other friends, hilarious. Not this last one. No, this was my 15 years ago.

And Doug, yikes yikes does he have to say it for himself so he knows or does he just need to talk he needs to like

ah people gotta hear Bapa say something or else they'll tune out and just who can't listen to boring ass Brian another story about a stupid ass marriage

everybody wants to hear me talk about uh you know saving kids from cars and uh Tiger Thick Wig Ski and my shows and the reason why they're canceled. Numbers. That's why you brought up 15 years.

Oh, yeah. If you don't want Shob to interrupt you, you can't count anything. Don't put a numeric value on anything. Yeah. All right. This is the last clip for today. It's posted by Rogan and Shorty Pie. It's called Imagine Consistently

Having to Tell a 40-Year-Old Man Not to Hit You and He Never Stops. Let's see what this is about. I bet you're fun to cuddle, bro. Eric looks cuddly as fuck, bro. Eric first team all snuggly. Yeah.

You hit my shoulder too many times this episode. Again? I think it might have been the most. You're not working on it, dude. Can we get a counter? It might have been the most you ever hit my shoulder. I'm sorry. How about just a montage?

Just bruised? Here's the thing. I don't hate being touched in the same place over and over again. It's like fucking water torture. I'm sorry, man. Nah. I don't know if you're sorry. No, I'll work on the next episode.

But it's Patreon and the people aren't going to see it. So I'll save it for next week. No, do it also on the Patreon episode because I don't want you to be fucking hitting me. Dude, it's from here to here dude and it's so goddamn annoying dude but it's like cut to you at like the doctor it's so funny that he's he's talking about people touching him oh shit i didn't even think about that what i was thinking is like so dal'Elia is talking to his therapist right

and the therapist he's telling him all the stuff going on in his life and the therapist is like listen there's only so much you can control you know you did what you did

and then gives him some sort of rationalization but he's like but you can talk to that idiot that hits you all the time you can stand you can tell him like hey

you hit be honest tell him to stop hitting you. I will never watch the podcast because it's unwatchable garbage. Even as your therapist, I got to be honest with you. It's blog bust. He starts doing shop.

Can you imagine if all these guys, therapists did shop business with them? Eric, we're at his 12 step group. Everyone that's in there is working at Chang's. Dude, you're at a 12 step group and somebody stands up and they're like, listen, I made some pretty blockbuster decisions,

but it's been six months. I'm a number's got to be since my last drink of Tiger Thick Wig Ski. It's been a year. It's been a year. You know, I would say chairs, but, you know, we don't do that anymore. And then Delia's like, I can't escape it. They're making fun of me even in Alcohol's Anonymous. Alcohol's Anonymous.

Nothing I can do, B. He starts doing it himself. And then everybody does because everybody's homeless. Confirmed. Here we go. I don't know what's going on. They say, well, what happened? That's my thing. I don't want that.

It's heavy tonight. I love Rogan and Shorty Pies endings there. Yeah. Is he the one that always does P.F. Chang type endings? Yeah. Does he ever do that? I didn't even know that. I didn't even know that.

You see you're learning something new. Are you even homeless? Maybe not. Maybe not. Big shop hand here. All right. Thanks for tuning in. We'll see you next week.

Bye. Bye.