10 Minutes of Schaub - BERT KREISCHER LOVES RITE AID | 10 Minutes of Schaub #119

Episode Date: October 30, 2024

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Welcome back to Tim Messes Shop. Thanks for tuning in. As always, join the Patreon. Ever heard of it, right? Join it because tonight we're doing our first ever live stream of the Patreon. It's going to be of the political debates. A little bit of Trump, a little bit of Harris. Ever heard of them?

Mm-hmm. Little Kamala. Or is that like to call her Alamak backwards? Yes, it's Kamala. Yeah. Kamala. Okay. That sounds like what-a-la- him yeah and if uh if if uh politics isn't your thing then we have

special reviews up there you know i'm saying daddy we're out here making sure these streets are funny bro yeah we got those seven times a week many many good ones in the in the um stockpile also the, the Reddit is booming. You know what I mean? Join us on live streams Wednesday night at 8 p.m. Pacific Standard Time, you know, because we live in Seattle. And then, you know, Reddit, Discord, all that fun stuff, daddy. Join the chain club.

Come on. Be part of it. Anyways, but that's not where you're going. That's not where they're going. They're here to watch Tim as a shop. So start the timer. Play the chain club. Okay.

We got plenty of chips to play, dude. So this first one is not a clip, but it's more of a sad post. We've got another one of the Roganites crying on earwaves, dude. Oh, man. Posted by Boppo12345. It's called, I'm so tired of this dude, maybe more than Brendan. And look at that, dude. That's just, nobody wants to see that, right? Yeah. That's a real, uh, that's a real bad face. That's a problem. It looks like something you'd

see in a medical office because I get like the symptoms of some kind of disease or it was like, you see it up on the wall. You said, oh, or like when you're like searching, when you look, or maybe you don't see it in a doctor's office. It's when you're looking up symptoms of like, what is this bump, you know, or red bump on face, but it's his entire face. Yeah. Hippopotamus. It looks like he just walked out

and they told him he's positive for monkey pox. If somebody told him, if I saw somebody like this and I was like, you've been drinking? And they said, no, I'd look at them with skeptical skeptical hippo eyes he dropped his daughter off and he'd been drinking yeah you know i don't know a little salt and pepper beard to go with the crying dude as usual as always and as usual don't post this yeah don't cry anyways it's called obligatory just dropped my daughter off at college crying pic i posted one two years ago for georgia now it's isla's turn i'm so excited for you her and i'm so proud of her but god damn it i'm gonna

miss that kid i just read the first comic hey be cool canelo ginger canelo ginger uh both girls are out of the house now and thank god i married the woman I did. I'm going to be a mess for a minute. I'm headed to Vegas. If I knew anything about Reddit, I would not post stuff about my kids. Right? Yeah. Don't do that either. In any vassit. No.

Yeah. Great idea, dude. Good thing you don't have children. Uh, this one's posted by true M M or okay. True M M H S. I believe, uh, True MMHS I believe. Never forget that this guy is genuinely a piece of shit who views poor people

as lesser humans to himself. He is an untalented, unremarkable garbage that deserves all his failures and humiliation. What do you think about that, just that title alone? Well, I remember this clip well. This is the one where he talks about homeless people. I think it sums it up pretty good yeah it's a little harsh

but you know boppa may feel this way yeah is that your takeaway dude i got actual uh this is a new joke i learned i actually have inside information uh from tfk okay and you're absolutely right shout out to it is what it is michael irving that's such a good joke you're absolutely right. Shout out to it is what it is. Michael Irving. That's such a good job. You're absolutely right. That was good. Delivered well.

Let's see here. Oh gosh. It's so hot in here. It is very hot. Why isn't it playing? Let me get a fan. But for the people that are negative or are on forums and create troll accounts, I view those people the same I'd view a homeless guy.

What about people with big red chairs? Do you view them as brothers? Right. I'm sure I'm homeless. I can afford two red chairs. How many homeless people can see about this many stickers, Jen? How many homeless people can get art? What stickers, Jen? How many homeless people can get art? What's the word you do?

Commissioned? How many homeless people can get art commissioned? And this is not me hating on homeless people. Wrong camera. This is not me hating on homeless people. How many homeless people have bobbleheads, dude, that agree with everything you say? Yeah.

I mean, you can't see these cameras, but they're pretty good cameras, okay? Yeah, dude. Cool story, bro. Watch yourself, Shob, Scoob. Oh, fuck. It's not playing again. One second.

Critiquing my art or critiquing my art. Critiquing my art. Critiquing my podcast. They do not matter. It literally does not matter to me. He's seething with the bad men. He's like a seething cope or whatever. There's a seething cope.

The guy with the face in front of the meme. That's what he is. This is the evolution of the sea clamp too. At first he started like, you know, praying for Jesus and stuff. And then it slowly turns into this. Not unlike Mr. Doom. Like I'm sure Mr. Doom was at one point a good guy. And then he fucking got the green thing.

He put on the mask. Yeah. Until he met Superman. His heart went like this. Who would go out of their way to create that account or to live in their mom's basement or whatever job they're working, could not even fathom the amount of work it takes to pull off something, whether it's a set or a good podcast or a business or merchandise or, you know, it's just, it does not matter, you know? And I hope my son, I hope other people, they start to discredit those people even more.

Because the type of person that were to go on YouTube and leave a negative message to even create an account to be that way is is I don't associate with those people. I don't know those people. It does not matter to never met him. So when people let, let's that affect their mood or their life, it's mind ball. It's,

uh, we've talked about this before at the zebra head. What is that about? Oh yeah. No idea. It must be someone else's podcast, right? And they got zebra decorations.

Dude, everybody's drinking an oil can behind. It looks like RoboCop's drinking an oil can. It was a taco. Oh, man, I missed that. I don't think we've ever fucking seen comment on that before. That is very strange. Drive fast on gas, daddy. The superhero is drinking.

Oh, it is RoboCop drinking because I guess he's a robot. I think he runs on gas. You know, he runs, because, I gas. He runs on gas just like all things good. Drive fast on gas. RoboCop obviously. He's not driving electric cars. The zebra has an Oscar, which is something I hadn't noticed until now. Did you notice that before?

That zebra's looking homeless as fuck though. He's not happy at all with what Bob is saying. It's pretty corny. Yeah, the zebra's not happy at all with what Boppa's saying. It's pretty corny. Yeah, the zebra's rolling his skeptical hippo eyes, but it's corny to have one of those fake small Oscars, isn't it? A little bit. I don't know if we hate on that. Yeah, we'll probably have one soon.

We'll probably get one soon, too. What I noticed about what Boppa was saying is that he is talking about being proud of merch, and I'm not sure if I would ever be proud of merch. I'd be happy if people bought, then they liked it, and maybe it was really funny. So I'm doing the thing where I say one thing and say the other thing. But how could you be proud of something like this?

This is poor quality. Yeah, it was very sweaty after I took it off. It's been washed in. But, I mean, it's just not very good quality. They sell it for like half off of half off you know if you buy things when we bought the golden jackets yeah somebody commented you idiots aren't even wearing the golden jackets oh dude it's so hot in california or say seattle it's 100 degrees where we are i have the ac blasting it's 10 p.m at night 100 degrees yeah

dude give us a fucking break i i told you too as soon as we bought the jackets, I was like, this is the worst time to buy the jackets. It's middle of summer. Yeah, I guess, but I mean they're the best jackets we've ever had. And then you were like, should we do it? I'm like, yeah, dude. Hey, I got some more information in it. You're absolutely right. Crazy time.

It'd be the same as if a cat created a profile. That's a good example. Who cares? That shit made me laugh so hard earlier, dude. Even a homeless guy. If a homeless guy was just creating a profile and talking shit, it doesn't matter. They're all the same.

So. So. Yeah, dude, I don't know. Anyways, I like how these old chins get reheated and are like the most liked things on that week, you know? Yeah. I mean, the classics. Everybody likes the classics.

But let's go to something that's happening currently. This is posted by Active Paprika 51. The shop shutdown is coming soon. This is not me for the comments. Brendan Shop is just as informed about what Jiu-Jitsu needs as he is about driving trucks. Let me guess, you have a purple belt and got it all figured out. Bring your fat ass down to LA so I can, quote, inform you.

Let me know how it goes for you, big guy. I don't understand the logic there. If he comes down and he sees you, why would he have to let you know how that goes? Wouldn't you know? You beat him up, right? You beat up this guy who did an internet comment that's not even really that mean. Yeah. And then he responds with, no need really.

I already saw your match with Cyborg in your post-match analysis trying to defend your wasting of everybody's time, big guy. That. It sounds like he hasn't had his big goal. Yeah, that's a man that's a man who had to rush out of the house didn't have time to stop and get a large Dr. Pepper this one's posted by the Dirk Fiddler it's called Brendan's response

the Dirk Fiddler what does that mean? I don't know what the Dirk Fiddler way you said it you were like and this next one know what the Dirk Fiddler... The way you said it, you were like, oh, seriously. And this next one was about the Dirk Fiddler. There's no comedy in your voice anymore. This one's posted by the Dirk Fiddler. It's called

Brendan's response when I said he is on Ozempic made me laugh. He also made it so I couldn't tag him immediately after saying that. LOL, what a soy boy. He also says, couldn't get your shit together. I mean, I'm not the one using peptides to get my shit together lmao damn um let's see here so looking lean brother what's the new diet program lots of running keeping up with the kiddos good protein and peptides from hrt something and just end this fucking weird plug for some random company

transcend hrt uh you mean ozempic and brennan laughs i think this is the next slide he laughs and says ozempic makes you jacked news to me but a ton of soy boys see a dude in shape and chalk it up as ozempic because you can't get your shit together lol i get it i get it that's so funny he wrote all that and he was like got him. Yeah. Post. And then this guy responded, I wouldn't call you jacked by any means. Skinny and a Zempik looking for sure though. Isn't it funny how there's random people getting mad

skinny right now and they're upset when people suggest it's a Zempik? Yeah, I mean, well I'd be, if I got like super jacked you know, and they're like in really good shape and someone was like, oh Zempik, I'd be well, if I got super jacked and I was in really good shape and someone was like, oh, Zempik, I'd be hurt too. Really?

Because people say that I'm on Ozempic when I lost weight. It's just not true. But I don't need to – what need do I have to make them know the truth about how I got lost weight? I just drink rain energy. Yeah, you didn't drink Ozempic. I got some inside information, man. You're completely right about that.

No, I guess, I don't know. I don't know. I see it both ways. It makes you look like you're using Ozempic. Well, here's the thing. You obviously are not taking Ozempic. So that's why it's not a big deal, right? Like there's just, like I don't,

when people say you're on Ozempic, they're kidding right i think that's what i'm saying yeah but like i think people really are saying that job is on ozempic yeah right i mean like yeah there's also a difference if i was taking ozempic and people were accusing me of it and i wasn't really addressing it you know what i mean yeah i'm not on earwaves saying ozempik is fucking for stupid people. Like he is at the golden hour. Oh yeah. Did he say that? Yeah.

There's a time right before he got skinny where he's talking shit about people on Zempik. I don't understand why anyone would care that someone's on Zempik to begin with, but I do think it's ridiculous to go on it and then be like, what? And especially after you've been insulting it, like you just said you did.

Like you saw a nicocado avocado lost all that weight. Yeah did see i don't know who that is but i saw the post about it yeah he it's he's on ozempic it's just a thought it's not like a indignation or what is it called like a you're not fucking accusing him of a crime right it's not a big deal i mean here's a thing if a miracle weight loss drug comes out and you're not taking it, you just lost 200 pounds. You know what I mean? Yeah, probably. But here's the thing. If I were on Ozempic because I needed it and it made me skinny,

what I would do is be like, you got to take Ozempic, man. Yeah. I love this shit. It changed my life. I get laid now. Exactly. Like if someone's like, yeah, if you're on Ozempic, I'd be like, exactly.

I said it in the post. Read the details, Chin. What's the percentage chance that he is on Ozempic? I'd say 60-40. Yeah, at least then. I don't know, man. Because, like, I know that he lies and I'm supposed to just not believe anything he says. But it's so crazy to lie about that to me.

I just don't understand why you would, especially going this far. There's so many things he lies about. There's so many things that he hasn't met Adam Sandler apparently. And he said that so many times. That's true. That's true. I don't know.

Maybe I just have too much faith. I'm too much of a fucking Homer. I'm a sucker for everything. Well, I'm falling for shop again, dude. He's bringing me back in. This one's posted by David Duke Newcomb. It's called big brown destroys a giveaway casual in the comments section that

he never read i like these responding more this is good yeah this i mean you know define good let's see here i mean for us good for you're right there we go uh this is who won saw a million ads for this one and not one for the winner and the magic stack is in here with the eyes brendan says five to seven biz days after giveaway ends winner is announced just like every other giveaway in history my man i love how stupid people put my man and my boy and things like to emphasize their points like's not, he's not like overly aggressive or aggro in this comment, but you can tell from the use of my man that he is mad. Like,

oh, you idiot. Everyone knows the five to seven business days. Everyone. You didn't know that? Go back to school. God, do you think he sat down at the key studio and was like,

guys, we got to make this giveaway legit. There's already a lot of heat on me, dude. You know? So he feels like he has to respond to people acting people acting as if it's not a legit giveaway. That would be so funny if we could get inside, like we see the Nixon tapes of Schaub,

and there's recordings of him telling people, we got to respond to every one of these comments that says it's not real. Because it is real. And then he's like, but Schaub, it's not real. He's like, that's exactly why. Also, just the five to seven. I'll never, I'll never forget

how funny that is. That is so funny. It's been five to seven business days. We still don't know. Yeah, but he's going to make it content. People are just being assholes. He's going to make a fucking, he's going to do a podcast.

Here's the giveaway winner. Right. It's like in five to 10 months after they filmed the episode of Drive Fast All Gas. Yeah. Episode four. Right. It's like in five to 10 months after they filmed the episode of Drive Fast, All Gas. Yeah. Episode four. Yeah.

We forget like 10 minutes of content takes six months to make. I'm just pissed off that I didn't win the truck. You don't know that yet, dude. I know. But if I did win the truck, I'd already know because he's filming the episode, right? He'd have reached out by now. Yeah. What if it's in my spam?

If I check my spam message and there's a thing from Shob in there, I'd self-harm. But I'm not going to out by now. Yeah. What if it's in my spam? If I check my spam message and there's a thing from shop in there, I'd self-harm. I'm not going to do it now. I'll do it later. Let's see what this one is. It's posted by Confidence Search 8648. It's called,

The intern looks like she smashed a bottle of batch number one on a Chris Calabasas morning. I will say, it's not a good look for her, dude. Oh, no. This is hardcore, dude. Guard if they're not endangering your kids.

Fuck you. I thought this one was kind of cool. You don't really see a lot of people that still work together after all these years. I like you. You're good with your friends. If I told you right now, you got 30 second pass.

You can say the end. You can say the end word. I don't know what she's saying right now. You got a 30-second pass. Does that smell like alcohol? You can say the N-word. You can say the N-word. I don't know what she's saying right now, dude. But yeah, Jin's face is like, what's that smell of fucking? I thought we got rid of all the tiger thick. I like you. You're good with me. We're friends.

If I told you right now, you got a 30-second pass. You can say the N-word. Go for it. Tony's bigger than Saturday Night Live. Like the people on there, like that run. That's where I take my kids. This is where we're at every week. What if it's just as hot there as it is here?

Was this filmed this week? Probably. So they're fucking, they're fucking just as fucking, that's why they're all in shorts. They're just as tortured as we are. Or she's drunk as fuck. It's looking into a mirror, daddy. I mean, we're not drunk, but

yeah, she seems drunk. She seems drunk as fuck. Drunk and hot. Figure it. I mean, literally not figure it. Let's see. If the Hells Angels were going to do this, they're not going to announce it. They just show up. Yeah. So this begins circulated. I don't know if it's real because Hells Angels are going to do this, they're not going to announce it. They just show up. So this begins circulated. I don't know if it's real because Hell's Angels

are going to be like, yeah, those boys are killing it. I've seen Santino hot. Now, I don't know what his hour's like, but for one minute on Kill Tony, he's all leaning forward. He's so fucking funny, dude. He sounds great.

It's very different when he's doing his actual stand-up versus when he does the roast stuff. leaning forward. He's so fucking funny, dude. He sounds great. Oh, you've never... It's very different when he's doing his actual stand-up versus when he does the roast stuff. He's actually... His stand-up is really awesome. And also that Cam Patterson guy. She did?

I think she just smelled her fingers. His stand-up is really, really awesome. And also that Cam Patterson guy. So I saw him yesterday with Nick. Oh, he's so funny. Yeah. Okay, so Nick got me tickets. Him, his girlfriend, and Kev from Golden Hour. Subscribers. but Nick. Oh, he's so funny. So Nick got me tickets,

him, his girlfriend, and Kev from Golden Hour. Subscribers. Additional NFL plus premium terms at NFL.com slash terms. Did DraftKings pay for that? I know I always ask that, but like, what the fuck? Oh, yeah.

That's a whole nother chin for later on, dude. It's a weird ad read. But what would you do if i came fucking smashed to the podcast oh i'd be so worried because you're sober still where did you get the wrong stereotype you don't have to be sorry the quality would go down so bad because i don't know how to do anything you'd be drunk i mean i'm you drunk is probably better than me sober the instead of the intro with brandon chow's face sliding in it's time for my it's just me shotgunning beard that song

is playing but it's your meltdown welcome back to the podcast i don't know the fuck that ball has so it's just always telling me bullshit i don't even listen to me hey guys go see on the live chat there's no live chat going on. Yeah, you used to fuck me, I was in the chat with you. Let's see here. Okay, so we watched this on the live stream. We stream every Wednesday, if you're wondering. It's called These Civilian Looters Will Light You Up, B.

Posted by Jabronified. Jabronified. You know, we already saw this. Yeah. It looks like it's been looted, and I guess thieves just come in and take whatever is expensive and just fucking walk out with it. This is crazy. Hey, guys, I'm here in Rite Aid where a couple days ago, legendary comedian Bert Kreischer, you know, the guy who does that one joke where he takes his shirt off.

Oh, man, that guy. What do we think of next? What do we think of next? Man. Boulain Comedians has just become like a fucking art form. This guy's got it down. He knew exactly how to get him. I like how his headphones are taped up.

He's horrified by how bare the shelves are here in Rite Aid. And naturally, as any American would, he was very concerned about corporate greed. No, he's kidding. You blame poor people, naturally. Well, I'm sorry to report that, no, it was not because of the poor stealing all the things. It's because Rite Aid is closing stores. They're in the process of filing for bankruptcy.

And, of course, they're scaling inventory. And it doesn't take a genius to figure this out, but, you know, for Christ's sake. Yeah. Damn! Damn! Bullshit! to do the opposite. Damn! Damn! Oh, rubbish! Burke Reicher didn't read a book in his life. Burke Reicher doesn't read the news.

Yeah, dude. Yeah, Rite Aid's going away, sadly, and I know it's his favorite. So is Burke Reicher's career,

apparently, dude. Oh, yeah? Yeah, he just filed Chapter 11 bankruptcy on his career. Oh, I didn't hear that.

No, I have inside information, dude. Oh, okay. And I'm 100 his career. Oh, I didn't hear that. I have inside information, dude. Oh, okay. And I'm 100% right. It was a joke, Cooney. I know. It went over my head, dude. I was doing another joke where I pretended to be Joe Rogan. Keep with me. Don't lose me.

We're deep in the Bop-Up-ers, dude. Yeah, we don't know what's real and what's not. Yeah. Anything else about right closing down dude i mean the full clip where he says that he used to hang out there all the time like all day long i just think that's so strange no that's bullshit there's no way what do you do at right aid okay so you're walking around you get you're looking for a drink or something like that or maybe some snacks to bring home you go to to Thrifty's and get some ice cream. That's at the most 30 minutes.

Yeah, you got to go to get your prescription. So you're waiting in line. Okay, that's longer. You know what I'm saying? You get your prescription. You take some fucking Addies. And then next thing you know, there's some baddies that walk in. They're just chilling at the Rite Aid too, dude.

And then you've got to get deodorant. That's my number one place to go to get deodorant is Rite Aid. You know what I mean? And then you go to Thrifty's, like you said, get a bottle of water, bottle of some motherfucking tequila, dude. Right? And the next thing you know, you're there for six hours. But that's all gone away now, dude.

That is an interesting, I like the way you map that out. But can you imagine seriously, you have somebody go to Rite Aid with you and you go, let's make a day of it. No. What are you doing in Rite Aid for that long? That's the last date, dude. Rite Aid date. No, it's not Target, dude.

Target is way different. It is not Target. You'll make friends at Target, daddy. Target, you can do a lot of stuff in. Yeah. All right. So this one is the clip I've been looking forward to most. I haven't seen this yet.

It's posted by Cruel Ambitions. I thought Sandler recognized Bapa and said he was that funny ass kicker. Never met him though. Have you seen this clip yet? No. Me neither. Somebody told me this in my stream.

Yeah, I thought this one was kind of cool. You don't really see a lot of like people that still work together after all these years, but Rob Schneider says that Adam Sandler has literally called him every week for the past year. Adam Sandler is so loyal to his friends. That's what I mean. So loyal. He's so loyal.

But that whole crew is cool. I know. Like David Spade, most talented person I've ever worked with. Hands down, not even close. Like David Spade's dope. I've never met Sandler, but I adore him. I've done a couple of re- Wow.

Slip that in, dude. Man. I've never met Sandler. Chab's like, I've forgotten more than you remember. That's crazy. My memory remembers. Rob Schneider's cool. Sandler, he's great.

But Rob, I know really well. Rob, I talk to periodically. Rob Schneider's cool. He's great. But Rob I know really well. Rob I talk to periodically. Damn, he cut Sandler out, dude. Sandler's out. Sandler was a thick boy's intern. Had to let him go. But he's alright. He has to go through some shit. It's almost like he never knew him, just like Bobby Lee.

Yeah. Shav just cuts people out. It's gonna fuck down. It is. This one is something him, just like Bobby Lee. Yeah. Shav just cuts people out. It's going to fuck down. It is. This one is something I've been asking for for a while. It's posted by P.F. Chang's official. Actual Thicky in the wild. Didn't see the beast of an automobile this thick boy drove, but next time I see him in the grocery store, I

sure hope he pulls up in the red giveaway truck. Dude, I'm not at all for harassing or bothering strangers. However, if you see somebody with this on, I feel like you should at least go, hey man, you fan of the shop or what's the bit? Just to find out.

And then if he says, yeah, you say, you know totally fine to answer, but can I film you saying that you're a big shop fan? And then you put that stuff on fucking chains. One thing that we're not addressing here is he might be Mexican as shit. Whoa, dude. We got Pozole. Dude, that's a bit.

This is a bit. There's no. I'm sure. I'm sure he just happened to take a picture of Drive Fast All Gas near Pozole. I'm not saying it right Pozole he sniffs that from left field like Theo Vaughn and Coke dude

yeah this is a cat no it's gotta be real dude everyday low prices that's a shop thing right there dude everyday low prices then Tiger Thick should be on it yeah I'm surprised he might be a soy boy he's right here next to the soy sauce. Which way Western man

let's see what's next year. Okay, cool. This one's a good clip posted by what's up world. It's called Shane Gillis versus Tony Hinchcliffe. Oh master roaster Shane Gillis had a vodka cranberry in 20 years. Ric Flair made me up like 8 and a half earlier

Yeah, no It's Ric Flair's drink of choice By the way, you're drinking the gayest beer of all time, Shane, shut the fuck up You're gay, you're literally gay You're actually a gay guy Cliff speaks for himself

Jin so I was hanging out with Ric Flair and he gave me his fucking drink of choice but you're gay

for drinking Bud Light Shane yeah that's such a fucking hack thing to say too the Bud Light thing like they think

Tony Hinchcliffe is so far gone that he thinks he's gonna get a bunch of laughs by saying you're drinking your gay beer your gay beer especially in that voice why are you why are you it's so funny you're hanging out with uh the the roast master uh tony hitchcliffe and you have you're just drinking he's like you have a day coke that's gay

all right yeah sure, sure, dude. By the way, you're drinking the gayest beer of all time, Shane. Shut the fuck up. You're gay. You're literally gay. He's hitting it with facts. You're literally a gay guy. Why would you? Yeah.

Yeah. Tony Hinchcliffe can't be calling people gay, dude. Let's see. This one's posted by Complex Desk 93 80. It's called my brother saw shop at one FC. Oh yeah. It's a problem dude. Dude. He's one of the, I mean, he's one of the most successful guys out there, dude. I mean, just look at the lighting daddy. Lighting's bad, but he's got a gray hat on. Lighting is great. What are you talking about? This is a model to me. It looks like if Joe Camel

were the world's most interesting man. You know? He looks very old and withered. He's got a head that says zero fucks, I think. I thought it said trucks. Oh, okay. I thought it said giving no fucks. I think it might say zero

fucks. I think it does say trucks, though, because look at it. See the T-R-U-C-K-S. So yeah. Yeah. It's a trucks hat, dude. I mean, I always assume, I just assume drugs is on. It's funny that he embraced trucks so hard after the walk me to the truck thing. Yeah.

That was an interesting career move. Let's see here. Okay. So this one's posted by 206 Demon. It's called FDA are just haters be never seen anyone successfully hate. Former UFC star Brendan Shaw promotes drink that claims to reduce blood alcohol level and is being investigated by the FDA. The drink makes you less drunk?

Is that what it's claiming? I think it's what it's claiming. That's awesome. FDA has opened an investigation into safety shot. Multiple FDA offices involved in the investigation after receiving complaints. Why would you want this?

What is this for? Is this a drink like you get drunk at the bar and you're like, you get one drunk at the bar and you're like get one of those safety shots and you drink it and then you're okay to drive home because it doesn't read as you're drunk this is a fucking obviously wrong thing to promote but mr coppicer i had three safety shots before i left the bar mr coppicer yeah hey fucking mr asshole fuck you fuck you Yeah. Hey, fucking Mr. Asshole. Fuck you. Fuck you, bitch. How about I got a safety shot up my ass? Talk to my lawyer. I got 500 pages of them.

I'm going home. Can I see your license and registration? My name's Brian Callen. I don't have many pants on. She said yes. Who, sir? There's no one in the car with you. Okay, so we're revisiting from earlier.

This is posted by HeyMarkWigski. Clint's got to be absolutely hammered trying to fix Snozz's botched ad reads. So you got a little taste of it earlier where Chin was coming in and out. Here to just visit ccpg.org. Please play responsibly. Now that's on behalf of Boot Hill Casino and Resort

in Kansas City. 21 age plus varies and eligibility will vary as well by jurisdiction. Now we're void in New Hampshire, Oregon, Ontario. Bonus bets do expire 168 hours after issuance. For additional terms and responsible

gaming resources, go ahead and see dkng.co slash ftball. NFL plus premium offer Responsible gaming resources. Go ahead and see dkng.co slash FTBall. NFL plus premium offer available only to new and former NFL plus subscribers. Additional NFL plus premium terms at nfl.com slash terms. What the fuck? Let's take a break, man, because my wiener. Yeah, guess what?

So he put in like edited like ADR of her rad reads or something? Yeah. Well, it was him fixing whatever she was saying. That's ridiculous. I mean, it sounds horrible. Yeah. Draft Kings is running an audit randomly and they're like, what the fuck was that? Yeah.

Don't wouldn't they want the stars of the show to read it? True. Oh, you just get an intern to read for you. I think the stars of the show to read it? True. Can you just get an intern to read for you? I think the stars of the show do read it, and then they do the whole terms and conditions part. Oh, okay. Still redacted as fuck. Damn, that's so much advertising.

Yeah. You got to have that. That sucks. Audio's king, B. Yeah. This one's posted by Confidence Search 8648. It's called The 250 Showing Pedestrians How It's Done. Dude, your favorite guy

of all time, David Lucas. Come on, motherfucker. Gay ass motherfucker. Yeah, I watched, did you see this whole Shane, or what is it? Madison Square Garden show? No. I watched the whole thing. Oh, nice. Definitely the worst part of the show right here. Oh, really? The whole for real?

No bet? No No I mean yeah It's pretty bad I guess that doesn't Really surprise me He's terrible Yeah he's so bad Yeah After like the worst joke ever

That's a lot of that dude You fucking look like A fucking bag of fucking Doritos that's been Spilled off the floor You look like a fucking bag of fucking Doritos that's been spilled off the floor. You look like a human version of Yoshinoya. That's bad.

Joe Rogan laughs, dude. He sucks. Yeah. He has the worst taste in comedy that there is. Man, you must be gay then. Fucking gay. You're fat Man you gay like You gay like a dude that kisses men

Over there You're fat like a guy that eats a lot of sandwiches So That's what the whole thing is Over and over again People like that out of control dude you look like the type of nigga that'll sit on a venus flytrap bitch what is the type of person that sits on a venus flytrap no he's just he's grasping for his straws

by now dude does that make you is that a he's saying that makes you gay i don't know that's i really don't know i honestly don't know. That's, I really don't know. I honestly don't know. Sitting on a Venus flytrap, I'm assuming that you're just going to, I mean, if he sits on a Venus flytrap, there's no more Venus flytrap. You know what I mean? You looking like a motherfucker that'd be putting his asshole on quicksand. Like so. Did you notice your favorite comedians here?

Oh man, it's the worst of the worst. Your favorite. Your favorite. Your favorite. Man. Yo. Bruh. David Lucas was fire on that show, bruh. That line about how he was gay like a dude that drinks Bud Light, bruh.

Savage. Boy. But that either. What does that mean? I think they're just in front of a lot of people and they're trying to be funny. Stole Christmas? Is it because it's like a racist thing? Probably, yeah.

Okay. Yeah. You made it more. It took me a second. Yeah. It took me a second. You made it make sense. I never thought it made sense.

I feel better now that it took me a while to get that because if I understood it right away, there might be a problem. Yeah, you're not on the same frequency, dude. Yeah. You need to take some alpha brain. Maybe these guys are just hammer drunk and we're being too hard. Like if we're hammer drunk, we might think that rhinoceros ass booty was funny.

You look like you sit on a Venus flytrap, motherfucker. The sober mind just doesn't get... Not a good look for Shane, dude. No, but he's got... I mean, it's like a very popular show. He's just like soaking in the fucking whatever you get from this. Yeah, but he's laughing i mean you have to sort of kind of laugh at this thing right just to be polite i love tony's like

and you find second summer he does like the fucking johnny carson laugh it's out of control what's going on yeah greatness man greatness fuck that made me angry. Kind of. Are you going to quit comedy? No. Oh man. I made me quit comedy. It's just going to make me podcast that much harder. Looking like a motherfucker. Looking like a, yeah,

that's just the, that's all they say. Yeah. And it's never anything that clever. No, there are some things that are funny. I can't think of any off the top of my head, but I've definitely heard some very funny look like, you know.

Yeah. Like what? What do I look like, dude? Looking like a fucking Gerald ass fucking. See, I'm not good. I can't do it. Yeah, you're looking like a red hat wearing green shirt having bitch. No, I see what you're doing, David Lucas. I see.

Looking like a motherfucker guy that be sitting up in a red chair, gay. You look like you got shorts on, gay. Anything that we do, yeah, it's like that we're gay.

That's the punchline. Oh, headphones near your ass, gay? Yeah, you look like the kind of guy that brings Diet Coke home from work every day. You know what that is.

I don't even got to say that shit. Inside information. You do. Bro, it's so funny to say people look gay, though. Like, David Lucas breaks down how to do comedy with James Lipton. What is your favorite curse word? Gay. James Lipton looking like a gay Robert. Rogerger what's his name roger niebert roger e roger roger

ebert as gay dude oh it's so clever david that's so funny students if you ever wanted to see a brilliant mastermind at work please do yourself the favor of watching Kill Tony, where a young David Lucas makes his first appearance and says that Tony is gay like a cheetah seeing an old cheetah, other male cheetah with a cock out. God damn it. It's good, though, because it feels redacted, but you did David Lucas. I know.

Pretty good there. The funny, if you want to see the best I've done with David Lucas, check out the patron, because I think that the thing where I, I forget how I say it exactly. Trump as a gay man doing David Lucas. Yeah.

Trump as a gay man doing an impersonation of David Lucas. Yes. I think I did pretty good there. Yeah. Yeah. Solid shit. Let's see here. This one's called bad.

He sent me this deal breaker be posted by environment. Okay. 63 84 matched with the baddies on hinge match with the baddie on it. Moved over to text and sent me a picker for apartment. I can't swim in these deep waters. Yeah. That's a no, that's a no go. Yeah.

I can't, I can't take that ride. It looks like a nice place, but then there's that. Yeah. I like the candles. Candles are nice. Stuff's going to go wrong with a chick like this. Yeah. Cable management's good, which makes me think, like, maybe just...

Cable management's good. I mean, come on. I'm a producer, daddy. They got artwork on the walls. Nice little, what is it called called this fourth wall here has a different color so it's like a what is it called what is it called when you paint a oh like a color wall what is it called like i have no idea you know i'm saying interior design and shit but you gay you get it i mean the thing is you beginning with this girl and she takes her shirt off and

then she's got a life rip tattoo somewhere you know a cd on her neck it says ds's deity or whatever dilley had made women tattoo themselves with you're inside of her and she's like can you call me baby i have to call my daddy real quick hey yo though where are you at what's going on i'm with this guy i'm out of fucking oh yeah like uh can you put it on why does she sound like tony hinchcliffe i don't know i? Why does she sound like Tony Hinchcliffe? I don't know. I'm making a... Because Tony Hinchcliffe sounds like a woman.

Can you, like, put it on speakerphone? How old are you again? Put him on the phone. Does he know about dolphins and all that fuck, people? I'm drunk. Daddy's drunk. He never drink a day in his life, but he just started drinking. Laughing.

That was me that did that. That was me. I did that. I did that. Alright. Let's see. This one's called Be a Part of the MADFAG Movement. Only $66.

Posted by Toxoplasmosis. Black Belt in Marketing. As you can see, it's Fast Trucks Freedom, Make America Drive Fast All Gas. So stupid. Beyond stupid. And almost I'm offended on behalf of Trump. Trump doesn't want this loser in his brand.

Yeah. Trump won one of the presidencies. You know, he's, I don't know, Brendan Schaub. Trump is going to come out. You know, Trump says he's never heard of Project, what is it called? Project 2025. Project 2025. I don't know, Brendan Schaub. Trump is going to come out. You know how Trump says he's never heard of Project, what is it called? Project? 2025.

2025. I don't know Brennan Schaub. I've never heard of him. I don't know who he is. There's these thick boys online. I don't know them. Thick boy. I'm not a thick boy.

I'm in shape, Brennan. I barely know who he is. I just know him. He's a UFC fighter. He's kind of stupid. That's all I know. I'm very smart. Fast trucks, freedom, what's that? Sounds kind of stupid. That's all I know. I'm very smart. Fast trucks, freedom.

What's that? It sounds kind of gay to me. Yeah. Also, make America great again is so aggressive. Like, can we change it to like convince America? You know what I mean? Instead of making us do anything. I don't want to drive a guy.

I like my hybrid, dude. You know what I mean? Yeah, we can't all drive trucks. Brenda make a convince America to drive fast under the speed limit ish. You know, again, make good merch once, make good merch again. Yeah.

Once, once at least about again. I mean, look at that shirt you got on daddy. This is way fast trucks and freedom bundle white and blue $66. That's so expensive for a shirt. Yeah, no way. I bought merch this last weekend for buddy guy went to a concert buddy guy great guy never met him and it was 40 bucks. I'm like dude, what the fuck come on, you know, he needs that money dude and then he called me gay and I'll get his grandchildren

another ozempic claim here posted by Ryan. I can give a fuck about his grandchildren. His grandchildren should learn how to play guitar if they want money. Do you know? It's called Bapa. I don't take Ozempic. I take peptides from transcend posted by Ryan Pilsken. Sema glutide is Ozempic.

Fluids and fluids be. Sema Glutide, is that Ozempic? I have no idea, dude. I look like a doctor to you? You look like you own my fucking Ozempic, bro. Looking lean, brother. What's the new diet slash program? Lots of running, keeping up with the kiddos, good protein and peptides.

So it's the same thing we just read. But here it says that this is Transcend HRT starting now. Enjoy 25% off all GLP-1. I don't know anything about gluolopeptides shit like that, dude. I don't know what any of that stuff is, but

I know that Brendan Schaub, if he's taking it, I don't want to take it because he's so stupid. I'm worried that it affects your mind. Yeah. Like it's not making him operate on a high level. Also, they had 35 likes in two hours, dude. Like that shouldn't tell you something, Doug. You know?

Yeah, they're not getting a lot of likes. They're not getting a lot of engagement. Let's see here. You need somebody at their company to ask how socials are going. It is not good. This one's posted by CJK610 called New Merch Drop CTE, Los Angeles Motor Company, Drive Fast, All Gas, Ozympic, Semaglutide Injections.

So I think the accusation from the last one was that he's, he's taking something Ozempic related. Oh, okay. Yeah. That's what I figured. It's funny when something goes on and change, they kind of flood the mark,

like the flood, the market, like politicians do. Like if Trump wants to nail home, Trump wanted to nail home that like Kamala had a fake accent. Kamala Harris wants to, and the Democrats want to nail him that Trump wants to do project 2025 and he

lies all the time and he and then fucking Bapa or the Changs wants to like you will not go away from Changs not realizing that Bapa is on Ozempic yeah it's like a political fucking drop yeah yeah motherfucker this one's by busy middle 8108

Clinton knew exactly what he was doing with this line of questioning about Bapa's one champ appearance. What do you think Clint's going to say? No idea. It's packed in there, dude. Packed. It was a fun time. Fun time. Where were you sitting at? That's what I thought.

Yeah. The front. Cage side. Cage side? Cool. Was it easy to see stuff or was it? Oh, it's great. Yeah, great.

Yeah, it was great. That's so funny, dude. Do they only give it to people that are really cool? I don't think you understand what's happening here oh I'm gonna give you some time

do you realize Clint knew exactly what he was doing with this line of questioning about Papa's one-champ appearance I thought it was

saying like you know you have to be cool or like do you remember him talking shit about everyone going to UFC events

oh fuck he talks shit about people sitting ringside. So Chin is trying to make him look bad is what they're saying? Or they're just doing a bit? No, he's... So when people go to UFC events, Papa's talking for days

about how it sucks to sit ringside. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Chin's just basically saying like, and it was pretty cool, right? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Right. Are they saying that Chin and it was pretty cool, right? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Right. It's like, is Chin trying to, are they saying that Chin is trying to make him look bad? I wouldn't make that assertion.

It's just, I mean, I would do that to you if we, you know, we're friends. I wouldn't try to make you look bad. I would just be like, and it wasn't that bad, right? Without you realizing, you'd be like, yeah, it was pretty cool. Oh. Yeah. So Chin's trying to help him. So he's not trying to make him look bad.

He's just putting in his face like, you know, you talk shit about these people all the time. And Chin is trying to get him to say like, oh, and by the way, I said before it was fucking lame to be front side seats or cage seats. But now I realize I was blockbuster. It's actually a great time. I apologize.

Thank you, Chin. No, I don't think that's actually a great time. I apologize. Thank you, Chin. No, I don't think that's what's going on. No, I think for sure Chin knows that he talks shit about Brian Callum. It just happened with Brian Callum where he was sitting ringside. He's like, those seats suck. You have to be six rows back. Right. Right.

So I think Chin's just sitting in the sidelines being like, oh, really, dude? So Chin is working for Chang's now? No. I'm not making that assertion at all. If you were to do something like that, I would still do this questioning and make you contradict yourself on earwaves. And it's funny to me. See, that's why you're just as disloyal as Chin, as they're saying that Chin is. That's not true.

I keep my eyes on you. No, because then you'll go to the comments later and be like i'm so stupid dude that's true i would just obviously be like oh my mistake um let's see here there's not a chance that papa's gonna fucking realize let's see and i'm giving chins a lot of credit by thinking he's smart enough to think so uh alert spirit 2453 posted this called toe brogan attempting to create an everlasting joke for nine years let's see what's it like to bomb that must really be so that must be anybody ever ask you that i always say it's like sucking a thousand dicks in front of your mother it's the best way to describe it but the problem is that kind of time maybe that's a lot it was

we'll just be real quick I'm not saying until climax. You can get through 10 in a short period of time if you've got a good head movement. One of the best things that can happen to a comedian is bombing. When you bomb, that feeling is so bad. I always describe it as sucking a thousand dicks in front of your mother. But the difference is that there's probably someone out there who would enjoy sucking a thousand dicks in front of your mother. But the difference is that there's probably someone out there who would enjoy sucking a thousand dicks in front of their mother, but nobody enjoys bombing.

So it's probably worse than that. You have to have something wrong with you to want to be a comic because it's such a brutal, emotional battle. You bomb so often, particularly in the beginning. Bombing is devastating. I bet. It is the worst. I described it as it's like sucking a I bet it is the worst I described it

as it's like sucking a thousand dicks in front of your mother but the thing is I think there is probably a person out there

that wants to suck a thousand dicks in front of their mother I doubt there's a person who wants to bomb the bombing should be enough pain to force anybody

out of the business I always say that bombing is like sucking a thousand dicks in front of your mother but I think that's not true because there's gotta be a guy out there who would like to suck anybody out of the business. I always say that bombing is like sucking a thousand dicks in front of your mother. But I think that's not true because there's got to be a guy out there who would like to suck a thousand dicks

in front of his mom. There's got to be a guy out there who would be like, see this mom? 999. This one's for you. You raised me wrong. But no one wants a bomb.

I always say that bombing is like sucking a thousand dicks in front of your mother. But the problem is there's a guy out there that would like sucking a thousand dicks in front of his mom he's like this is what i do mom look at your baby just sucking them down this is like bombing in comedy like a depression bombing is like i always say it's like sucking it's so funny that he's like thank god i could do my bombing bit.

They're setting him up for this. It's kind of like the, what has, what has been unburdened by what has been or whatever. What is the thing that Kamala keeps saying? This reminds me of that. But at least with her, you know,

there's nobody until now telling her that it's lame. Where people have just been humoring him the whole time, just laughing at this. And maybe it's, we've just been too nice to Rogan. Everyone is too nice to him. Somebody should have been like, that's not funny. Or like made fun of him. Like, what are you talking about?

Sucking a thousand dicks. Is that your takeaway, dude? Yes. I say let him cook, dude. Right. I think he's onto something here. Okay. But the thing is, I love bombing.

Do you like bombing or no? No. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I like bombing sometimes. Not all the time, obviously. It would be hard for me to bomb every time. Right.

No, I mean, bombing sucks. I always say that bombing is like sucking a thousand down. It's just not funny. I'm sucking a thousand dicks. What is thousand down. It's just not funny. I'm sucking a thousand dicks. What is funny about that? This is not funny. No, that's not even what I'm saying. I'm just saying I enjoy bombing when it happens,

especially when it's random or you think you have it in the bag, and then you bomb, and afterwards you're like, God, I really thought I fucking had that one, dude. When you're continuously saying that you like bombing in this context, it does sound like you're saying that you like bombing in this context, it does sound like you're saying that you like, you want to suck a thousand dicks in front of your mom. No,

but that's also assuming I give credit to this guy, dude. No, I fucked this guy. He doesn't even know how to do standup comedy. I don't think that you do, but it does sound like that. Right?

Yeah. Cause you're a fucking homeless man with a cat's profile picture and doesn't know what you're saying, dude. Right. You shouldn't pay attention to me because I am those things. I'm homeless and I'm a cat. But, no, dude, give bombing a try, dude.

He's been putting bombing down too bad, dude. Bombing has me down bad. You know what I mean? I wouldn't mind slurping a couple dudes afterwards. It's certainly not as bad as performinging fellatio In front of your mother No I don't see that Bombing's like getting the wrong order at McDonald's You're like god fucking damn it

It's like I wanted two McDoubles I got three large fries You're like well I'll just eat the fries and then go home It's worse than that Because you get fries in that scenario You just got The wrong order Yeah but when you bomb you got stage time stage time is valuable dude you know what i mean give me the fries

thousand in front of your mother but i think there's someone i can't risk it there's someone out there that probably likes sucking a thousand dicks in front of his mom. Like, I'm doing this because of you, mom. 99. 100. No one likes bombing. It should be a shame to your son lasting that hard. It's just utter failure. It's a tricky thing

because it seems like you're just talking, but there's a lot going on. It's very complicated. It's hypnosis in a way. You're hypnotizing people. You're dragging them into thinking you're funny. Into the hypnosis in a way. You're hypnotizing people. You're dragging them into thinking you're funny. Into the way you think about things. I always say bombing on stage is like

sucking a thousand dicks in front of your mother. I think somewhere out there there's a guy who wants to suck a thousand dicks in front of his mom. You're watching mom? Oh my god. The only thing that would make that clip funny is if like, well, the clip itself is funny.

It's all cut up together, and he's just saying the same thing over and over again. But if it was in front of like more intellectual guests, I don't know who Constance is, but if it was like fucking. I think Chuck Palahniuk, which is one of them. That's one of them. He's a good guy to do that to.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. To see his reaction, yeah. Because it is kind of like his writing. Scientists. Oh, you mean because he does like sexual stuff. He writes that way. Like snuff or whatever.

Snuff or something like that. Whatever that book was. Yeah, yeah. There's a lot of sexual stuff in his books. Mm-hmm. This one is something we watched in the live stream, but this is the clip that's more, what is it called?

It gets it all in one. It's supposed to be bright bread called number 249 of 250 comedians universally kill of killed. What KOT? What is the O for? Kill Tony. I think it's just KT. Yeah. Hall of Fame roaster versus 17 year old podcast.

You're thinking some context. This is halfway through a 40 minute pod where Lucas can't handle being Kill Tony, I think. It's just KT. Yeah. Hall of Fame roaster versus 17-year-old podcaster. Thank him. Some context. This is halfway through a 40-minute pod where Lucas can't handle being trolled. He literally resorts to the tactics of a five-year-old. This was also the fourth time he tried to control the podcast. Apparently, Sam Hyde, who is not affiliated with the podcast, set up Lucas saying they would pay him $10,000. The interviewer, Matan Evan, is like, what are you talking about?

I never text you. So up to this point, Lucas has been apparently calling goons to the studio. I highly recommend watching and posting your fave clips because there are so many. This was just something I thought I had a bit of everything in the interview. I'm still finishing it,

but I had to get the fryers ready. I feel like y'all can spend some more money on the fucking set. This is an awesome set. You have a podcast, right? I got a couple. Yeah, but yours is even less money on the set. You just film in the lake. In the lake.

With the fishing? The fishing? Correct. Correct. Oh. Sound like him. Oh, yeah. I'm going to get him, boy.

I'm sweating too, nigga. Put like a sentence together that makes sense. On you now. Say something. Oh, those shoes are hard, though. Don't forget to scratch your ass and make them smell it. Don't re-box. Huh?

Don't re-box.? Don't re-box Re-box Oh what is your workout routine? Couple of white bitches a week I thought you said you Like were in a relationship You almost broke your phone You standing?

Yeah I feel like a rock star The table's about to collapse I gotta back up from this You broke your phone. You're standing? Yeah. I feel like a rock star. The table's about to collapse. I got to back up from this. Earthquake. I'm about to fart in this nigga's face. That's going to be different. So you almost hurt yourself.

How to soldier. I will say you and you and David Lucas know as much about fucking Mike Arms that's so funny what I think is funny about this clip is like okay when they pan out

and it's the dude his face looking through the thing and then the terrorist like it's so that is just funny because if you're, when you just cut to that, that's a hilarious picture. But it's, when they pan out and it shows all of those people, right now I sound like Kamala Harris. Yeah. But when they pan out and it shows all those people, right? Unburdened by what has been. I'm totally unburdened by what has been right now.

They're supposed to be like ridiculous, the trolls, right? Because there's a crazy guy looking at us and we're in a terrorist. But even they're weirded out by what Lucas is doing. Because Lucas, he's so out of control and unfunny and stupid that they're like, oh fuck,

it's not even going to work with our bit. But then it is going to work with our bit because he just looks bad and that's the whole bit anyways. To make the person look stupid they're they're set up to win in this and lucas is set up to lose and lucas is like i'm set up to lose oh my beer i'm gonna lose even harder than you could have imagined i'm gonna get up on the table make a bunch of bad jokes and make me myself look bad even though you're trolling me. Like a long-winded way of me saying basically that... He's the next Patrice O'Neill. Yeah.

He's just such an idiot. And it's so easy to troll him that when they're trolling him, he comes off looking even worse. This is the worst he could possibly look. And he didn't. Does that make sense? It does make a lot more sense than I could make of it.

When I was watching it, I'm like, this is good for nobody. People are like bigging up in Matan, but it's just like a weird thing to do to people. I don't know the show really. I'm only vaguely familiar with his bit,

but the whole thing is that they're trolling. They're trolling the guest, and Lucas is a moron so he doesn't pick up on it he doesn't play along with it well he just gets mad and does whatever that was that he just did but it ends up looking funny for them because they're just like they turn back into their

like actual character like legitimate straight man character they're like you almost broke your phone because he's standing on his phone or like what is your workout routine like that's just a funny random thing to say to a fat guy yeah but it's just very weird and lazy and in my opinion they don't have red chairs they don't have nanette anywhere on the set unless it's like behind the camera which is acceptable you know what i mean right they don't have I don't see a single wire, honestly.

Is that good cabling? This is not a living room, okay? We're doing a podcast. Okay, fair enough. You need bad cabling for a good podcast. Right. Hock Rule 817, dude. And they don't have rain energy anywhere on set.

Well, I want to see you at Matan. I want to see how you do it. A podcaster murdered by other podcasters killed Matan. Of what? You get the implication. Black people? Identify your chair. Wow, you identified the chair.

That's actually crazy. How much do you weigh? 356. Is that actually the number so bad dude so bad yeah not a good look for lucas any other thoughts on it no i mean he's a this is the downfall of lucas i think yeah it's been happening dude yeah it's as part of it is part of anyone anyone's downfall now if a minor celebrity is going to be going on Matan, let's see here.

I'll be on Matan next week. Let's see. So this is posted by you, my Ninja. Uh, it's called, I can prove that I'm actually straight. Is this the gay look? Is this gay you? Is this the gay look?

Is this gay you? Is this gay you? Is that gay you? We done followed Tony for a long way, the human headshot, and now we done seen how he gets his way through Hollywood. Look at that headband. You got anything you want to say to the American public? Okay, we're gone.

Okay. Oh, my God. She actually does go both ways. Yeah, so any thoughts on that? That is an old school clip that looks he kind of looks like i know it's inside baseball it kind of looks like boone shakalaka oh yeah he does it's a little bit of a boon vibe to him yeah those are the fucking early days of tony i guess 2011 it said but you could say yeah whoa a long time ago you can see though he even had the comedy shots back then dude he went you know first thing he's on camera first thing he does is you know just like rogue

with the bar that's the funniest thing you can do yeah right so i mean i'm not gonna fire shots at the king no he's i'm the best roaster so i'm a good maker funner of people I'm gonna make out with my girlfriend to prove I'm not gay get over here Esther is it true that you go both ways get over here just some random girl I love you girlfriend just random

random and disgusting he goes right back to blowing the other guy This one's posted by Mr. Eisenman It's called BCEO and Luke Going back and forth cooking up a tasty dish for Changs Dude, don't you dare disparage MedMen Reef is where it's at Shout out Reef

You know how much money I've spent at MedMen? Alan Dawson took me to a place in Vegas Near Fremont The homeless area Where it's just streets lined up with it, where they have this outdoor place where they have a live comedian. They've got some food trucks, and you can buy J's and smoke them right there, and you can get cannabis-infused cocktails right there. I'm going to guess those comedians are not great. They probably have podcasts that are also not great. Yeah, on the Thick Boy Network.

It's a little much. We're just having fun with Reddit there, Luke. No one got hurt. Let's keep it going with those DMs. The thick boy network. That's so funny, dude. We're trying to get on the thick boy network.

Be cool, BC. We'd love to be on, dude. This one's posted by Toxoplasmosis. That's called clintotally not a being inebriated, be waving a loaded firearm around a campsite. The song might get fucking be douched. Oh yeah, wow, a bite of watermelon puff of ciggy so crazy great artists have their demons dude i mean he's a really good musician he sings really well he's like waylon jennings or fucking um charlie daniels or something like

that yep johnny cash johnny cash um who's the other walker jr we were walker jr yes um who's the who's the really old guy? The really old famous country? Hank Williams. Oh, Adam Sandler. Yeah, Hank Williams. He's basically Hank Williams Jr. Chin. Yeah, if Woody Guthrie had a baby with Hank Williams

and Buddy Guy came out, that's Chin. He's a little crazy right now. He's an outlaw. So, sorry if that offended you. Cool story, bro. Yeah. He goes Baja mode. This one's posted by Chin Second Balcony.

Good to see him back. It's called Bapa Describes Himself. It's weird to me. I'll post my truck. Some people are like, oh, my TRX or my Raptor beat the shit out of you. I'm like, is your dad Henry Ford? I'm sorry. I'm confused.

Is your dad Henry Ford? I'm sorry. Did you Is your dad Henry Ford? I'm sorry Did you build the truck? Yeah Oh no No no no You just paid A mechanic to do it

Yeah Yeah I don't care This isn't You're better at Googling than me Do we have to do this? Your Dodge Demon's not beating it

Do we have to do this? Was it 1200 horsepower? Yeah It's tuned No no no Yeah Faster than any car you've ever been in No no no My Dodge Demon will beat it And I'm actually? Yeah, it's tuned. No, no, no. Yeah, yeah. Astronaut car you've ever been in?

No, no, no. My Dodge Demon will beat it, and I'm actually going to race it. That's adorable. Oh, I promise you it will. No one knows better. Oh, God. It makes a living doing it. But he's one of the best. Yeah.

What is he doing? I don't know. Why would you wipe your arm? Maybe he's got food on his arm. Yeah, he's probably got mustard on it or something. I think what I like most about that clip is that a new line is born. Like now we can drop whenever we want. If we're going back at each other, we can go, is your dad Henry Ford?

Deliver it like that. That's a good line. So remember that. Don't forget it. Yeah. One second. Let me. Did you spill some hot Cheetos on your arm or something like that dude

uh we already watched this so let's not do this one uh this one's posted by busy middle 8108 it's called schnoz was on the good shit on the podcast today so basically the earlier clip we watched but let's see for him this is what here it goes yeah it's so different from what he does on well it's very different when he's doing his actual stand-up versus when he does the row stuff he's actually his stand-up is really really awesome and that also that cam patterson guy so i saw him yesterday with uh nick oh he's so funny yeah okay so so nick got me tickets him his girlfriend and kev from golden hour so we went there and we saw i got cam patterson i saw him also just do little clips

on Kill Tony. So I was like, okay. Yeah, his Trump bit. But his actual his actual headlining thing is good. It's like really good. What happened? The racial clips he does.

Oh. Because he like looked at this guy and he's like, look, look, homie. I like you. You're good with me. We're friends. If I told you right now you got a 30 second pass.

You can say the N word. Go for it. Don't do it. And the guy looked at him and he goes, I don't want to do it. He goes, good. Cause I can kill you. And he walked away and people were just dying. But he's still raw.

Yeah. By the way, also bumped into Bobby Lee last night. Oh, you did? Yeah. Gave him a big hug. Dude, Cam Patterson stole one of my jokes. I don't ever want Shanaz to describe me like that. No.

He's so raw. Be cool, Shanaz. I wanted to bring attention to just one thing right here, dude. Brian Collins is living the fucking life right now, dude. Oh, cool story, bro. You're saying something? I'm going to take my magic mind real quick, dude. What the hell? Ooh, you saw that little bump he gave?

Yeah, we want a magic mind sponsorship, dude. Yeah. If it can help Brian Callen, dude. Look at this. Look at how good he feels. Ooh, it's a good fucking electric. Yeah, laughing. It's a good life. It's a good life. Yeah, man. Look at how good he feels. It's a good fucking electric. Yeah. They're laughing. It's a good life. It's a good life. Yeah, man.

Look at these. He looks really happy after that. Yeah. Magic. Mine might be where it's at. Be damn dude. We got to get on that shit stat. Daddy.

Call us up. Magic mind. Well, we want to look good. Oh, is your dad Henry Ford? So, okay. This one's Lumbaba zero. It's called skits andits and bits let's see i'm saying it's a bad thing i guess i'm just trying to get you to tell me how did we get from there to here what's your best guess some of that is in hindsight how dana talked about him at times

i know dana right now is saying a lot of things like you know i always stood up for him i don't know if that was always the case, right? I think sometimes when it comes from the top like that, you sort of go, okay, this guy's great. But how many chigs you fuck? You know, who's watching? How many views can you sell, so to speak? We're doing that show today. But it made sense perfectly, right?

Right in there. Views can you sell? But how many chigs you fuck? You know, who's watching? How many paper views can you sell, so to speak? This is so funny. That's so good, dude. It's like either one of us when one of us thinks

the other one is being serious and then we drop it, we're like, it's about how well you can sneak it in, right? Yeah. Because sometimes it's overkill. I'm just like constantly saying,

ever heard of it? But then like every once in a while you don't see it coming. Like earlier on the show when you were like, and I checked and it was actually, absolutely right. Like I did not see that coming dude it's an it's an art

you know we're learning we're trying speaking of art we got an old fucking cliff back in the chef dude i don't know how to talk anymore back in the chef is opposed by toronto rapture it's called tom bout a nordstrom rack mechanic. B he's slowly turning into the Island boys, dude. What's up fam? Oh dude, we got to start doing blogs where we started like that.

So it's hot out here. I got my chain on. I'm an island shop on Oz and big fam out here in the streets doing the lord's work on this humvee it is so goddamn hot anyway uh we're getting a million questions when will the winner be selected for the raptor our killer um it's soon it's super soon we have to use a third party source uh A law firm selects the winner.

So they go through everything, make sure there's no funny business. So my brother can't win. The baseball dads can't win. Anybody who has connection to me can't win. Thank God Brian Callen can't win. He doesn't know what he would do. Do we have a connection? They said five to seven business days. It's not in my hands.

They'll select five to seven business days. It ended on 31st. Then we had a holiday on monday start about tuesday wednesday thursday friday get the weekend monday tuesday so early next week early next week uh the winner will be notified and uh good luck to everybody can't thank you guys enough uh we're already starting on the next giveaway this thing's even more crazy so i'll have some news for you soon but whoever wins this truck i will see you soon oh my god that's kind of threatening that was a threat yeah he's gonna kill me oh fuck no so i don't think we're connected to him at all

right i hope not because i want to win the truck real bad but you know what that clip reminded me it reminded me i think you probably remember do you know what I'm thinking? 30X Entries? No. What it reminded me of was the Tito Ortiz thing where he's like, we're open every Monday through Thursday, 12 to, it doesn't make any sense because like the times are wrong. And then Bop accounting. He's like, so that's a Monday, that's a business day.

So in Australia time, we'll fucking get you a truck. He's like, carry the one. It's only a few days. Then you subtract by five. I'm an island shop. Truck giveaway. I like the island shop, dude. That's a good bit.

Let's see here. This one's posted by Zach Magnus. It's called Pot Savagely Roasts Kettle. Let's see. Well, like them, I get like where there's egos involved. They put a lot of time in the cars trying to figure out, you know, the fastest quarter mile. I get why they get all into it.

It's weird to me. Like, you know, I'll post my track. Some people like, oh, my TRX or my Raptor beat the shit out of you. So I'm like, is your dad Henry Ford? His face is funny too. I'm sorry. Oh, this is probably dead. Henry Ford. His face is funny too. Hmm. Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm confused.

Is your dad Henry Ford? I'm sorry. Did, did you build the truck? Yeah. Oh no, no, no,

no. You just paid a mechanic to do it. Yeah. I don't care. This is, you're better at Googling. This is Chris. This has been just TAT.-T-A-A.

Yeah, we're back, man. Diggs. Diggs. Yeah, Diggs. Fuck. Any more thoughts on the Henry Ford thing? No. I mean, it's a great line, and I'll try to remember it,

but I like... I mean, just at the very end, throwing in greatest hits is from Crist. They're like, Diggs. Yeah. Very funny. Diggs, Diggs, Diggs. This one is posted by

CompetitiveUse7107. No title needed. Deport Californians. Make Austin great again. Outside of an HEB, dude. See this? Thank him. Right? Yeah. This next one is another

reheat posted by ConfidenceSearch8648. He really was bad at comedy I would think showing Brendan's vagina on this podcast Would monetize it, would demonetize Don't you think YouTube's going to demonetize That we show the vagina? I don't think so, it's kind of a woke movement You don't know my pronouns

Yeah Alright The silence dude Just the complete silence Yeah. All right. The silence, dude. Just the complete silence. That's so funny. The vagina? It's kind of a woke movement.

You don't know my pronouns. This guy doesn't move at all for so long. He looks at me. One Mississippi, two Mississippi. How many Missippis before? Do you want to see? You don't know my pronouns. One Mississippi, two Mississippi, two Mississippi. How many Mississippi's before? Do you want to see? But you don't know my pronouns. One Mississippi, two Mississippi,

three Mississippi. Yeah. Who says? Yeah. The guy next to you. Okay. Okay. He's trying to help.

Yeah. How he's like, nah, how are we looking like a smart Joe Rogan? Sometimes silence is the best comeback. uh for a comedian dude is the only comeback dude when somebody's trying to be funny and you're silent it hurts my feelings dude right yeah yeah like just utter silence and disgust that's why the the live streams are so rough sometimes because you do a joke and there's just a silence nobody's putting like eight inches in the chat

or fuck me gals or anything like that. Right. Yeah. We need a lot of that in the live chat to carry us through. Yeah. All right. So this is the last clip for the day. It's posted by Demo Gorgo. It's called that was like seven years ago. I was smoking one time and

I was watching like UFC fight pass. I didn't realize that it wasn't like I thought it was live. Fight Pass. I didn't realize that it wasn't fucking, I thought it was live, right? So I start tweeting about some fucking fight, right? I'm hashtagging UFC 160. The next day, I fucking get up, and I'm like, I was texting a friend of mine, and I'm like, dude, that fight was fucking crazy, right? He's like, I don't know what you mean, man.

That was like seven years ago and I look on Twitter and somebody replied oh man I've been hiding I can't watch my best living his best life dude yeah he's going through it obviously and this is the

last one for the day dude posted by your boy oh it's me. 10 minutes of shop. It's called the brining. As you can see, got the axe coming in here with a toe hold on. And it's Brian Callen, daddy. Yeah.

I got that from, like there's a ray gun meme where she's like, you know, the Australian dancer or whatever she's coming through. And I thought, idea. What do you think of this? I mean whatever she's coming through. And I thought, idea. What do you think of this?

I mean, I made it. I shouldn't talk about it. It's solid. Yeah. Thank you. Very funny. Here's Brian. You know?

Yeah, dude. The toe hold is what, that's what got me. I was like, what if I put a sandal through? It would have done so much better like a year ago, probably. Probably. What I did was I like was going through face. sandal. It would have done so much better like a year ago. Probably, probably I, what I did was I hit, I like was going through face.

I did one face. And then I asked my girlfriend, I said, which faces do you think was funnier? And she was like, I'm leaving you. Yeah. She's like, stop asking me questions about memes.

Yeah. But yeah, no, I mean, I'm happy that people enjoyed it. Hopefully I can think of more memes. Well, that's it for this week,

dude. All right. See you next week. Bye.