10 Minutes of Schaub - Brendan Schaub as Daniel Plainview is NEGFLIGS B | 10 Minutes of Schaub #30

Episode Date: January 18, 2023

Thirtieth episode of 10 Minutes of Schaub

་༼ ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� ་� I wasn't homeless when I met you Forgive me now I'm a stray But when I woke up this morning Found myself on T-Fat K Randy's show was all purple I woke up this morning, found myself on TFATK. Randy's show was all purple and people were everywhere. Tried to go to Thick Boy Nation, but nobody was even there. They say 1,000 working comics on the stage at any time So tonight we're gonna party like we're Brian Pree, L.A. Times It's time for my favorite time of the week

When you get near, Bob might try to speak Release surprises today, you better act gay Or watch 10 minutes of Sharks Welcome back to 10 Minutes of Shop. Thanks for tuning in. Hope you enjoyed that Prince thing. We're about to start the new year. So we wanted to give you something to be excited about. We hope you guys got everything you wanted for Christmas. And make sure that you go and get your Planet Fitness gym membership. They're going to remind you on new year's just wanting to remind

you first, you know, and there's going to be some repercussions repercussions. If you don't, uh, follow those, uh, those, uh, resolutions that you got, but you didn't come here for that. When you came here for was 10 minutes of shops to start the clip now clips. All right. So we, I pulled a lot of clips. I pulled some of the ones from this last week, but also some classic bangers that we never got to in the span of our show. Let's start with some of this last week. This one's posted by King Demo. It's called Callan saying what we're all thinking.

You have a face full of fillers. B, here goes. What's his freaking, the conjuring? You know how that family family which is a true story they would save all the possessed stuff and put it in their basement he has like that

but a museum so I went on ghost adventures I was so scared I was so scared you've had so much plastic surgery so much

you gotta stop getting worked on on your face look at how young you were then I would love to go back on it was so much fun I was so scared

to do your shit that's so funny and people are like is it real it was real to me on your face. Look at how young you were then. I would love to go back on. It was so much fun. I was so scared. Did you hear shit? That's so funny. And people are like, is it real? I'm like, it was real to me. He's pretty great,

Zach Bagans, though, because he'll sell that shit. He's good. Look at him. No, that shit's real. I grew up in a haunted house.

Really? Yeah, I didn't even know it was haunted. Do you know I knew, but I didn't. I didn't. I like how he does not

address it at all. Yeah, the beginning of the clip was fire. It was great. It was so funny. It would be funny if Callan just leaned in and making fun of Schaub now, just with real cutting insults. He's been watching 10 minutes of Schaub,

and he's like, you know what? I'm going to turn it up. I'm going to shit on Schaub now. I'm going to start my own. He's a glassman people liked him and people don't like me so maybe if i start just saying that shop looks bad i'll be i'll get the number the kind of numbers that glassman got speaking of numbers uh the next one's posted by highlight numerous this one's called the white boy summer yeah because chet

hanks yes because of chet hanks so let's see what this one's all about. Is this from this week? Yes. I like that they have Chet Hanks on White Boy Summer style, but it's been like it's way past when. Yeah. This is when they can get him. Yeah.

He's out of the news cycle. He's done with Z-Way or whatever. Remember he did that show? You know, like the chick that tweets all the time? No. Whatever. Can you remember what that switch was? What was rock bottom?

Yeah. I mean, basically it was just, I had been partying my ass off for all the fucking white boy summers, you know? What? Three months? Yeah.

How long is a white boy summer? That's what we should play. It was about three months. That's standard summer. Well, cocaine for three months. The good thing about cocaine, see with alcohol,

you can be an alcoholic for 30 years and wake up with no resume. You know, it's like, it's a slower burn. Blow is devastating very quickly. It's like,

where'd my house go? You know, so in that sense, you can, it's. Especially if it's pure Pablo Escobar shit. Am I right?

Don't talk to us about cocaine. You don't know about that shit. I don't, but I would never do it now because the fentanyl laced with these cartels. There are kits on Amazon you can use oh anyway chet it's back to you but what was it what was it was it more inspiration or was it fear that caused the well you don't want to be a loser well i mean basically i knew that i i really had to get my shit together so i was preparing to fucking

you know go to rehab and clean myself up again but without any intention of like staying sober just to like get myself back on my feet right and take a little break well i had a show out in vegas i was supposed to go out for a night a live show yeah i was supposed to a performance i was supposed to go out for a night and then he has to check myself in the rehab um the next day well i went out to that show i went to the party afterwards i didn't leave the chat like uh chet hayes is like so i was doing cocaine and shops like a drug so i was walking down the street wearing shoes does chet hanks do uh music yeah he's a musician i saw i saw him actually i went valentine's day a long time ago before he was famous i was out out in Santa Monica and this bar called The Trip. And I ran into him in the bathroom and I thought, he looks familiar.

And then he went on stage and he was like, hey guys, I'm Chet Hayes. And this is my, I think he goes by Chet Hayes. What? Yeah, isn't that what he does? No way. I thought he was Tom Hanks' son. He is Tom Hanks' son. But I think his name that he goes by is Chet Hayes.

Oh. So he was like, I'm Chet Hayes or Hanks. I don't even remember. And he was my band. He was playing with some band. And then Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson were there to watch him. So I sat next to them and watched this band. Oh.

You know, and I'll be redacted. I'll be considered redacted by people for saying this. It was actually pretty good. Yeah. I didn't think it was bad. I was very but i i just kind of drake-ish oh okay yeah drake over a band do you think tom hanks is uh homeless as fuck or no it's a good question well i guess we'll find out maybe we'll find out from these clips tom hanks watches these clips and he's just like oh i thought he was clean but he's on he's on tpk oh yeah yeah, Tom Hanks is mad. I thought I raised my son better than this.

This is what makes Tom mad. For three days and three nights, I didn't sleep. I didn't eat anything. I was just fucking going. White boy son. Yeah, for three days and three nights, literally like 72 hours. Yeah, it doesn't sound fun at all. Yeah, by the end of that, I was just like full on fucking, it's not fun.

Did you guys get gay with each other? Were you doing drugs seven times a week Shob's like super insensitive Chet Hayes I was in the pit of addiction you know

I really miss my mom and he's like alright were you like keto bitch what speaking of addiction my wife loves

hot cheetos so yeah are you dating he's trying to put it so you ever date a mexican was she taco bell mexican or guadalajara mexican you're it's you just lose your mind you know what i mean just like not just also not productive yeah but uh yeah dude i mean apart from just doing that much drugs i mean just the sleep deprivation the lack of nutrition to like be funny there he was maybe gonna make like a riff like it depends on what kind of productive you are and then Papa just steamrolls him with something

that makes no sense and just ruins it classic every drug I like to say happy you know not drinking any water you know it's like that shit is enough to just basically send you into a fucking full blown

psychosis where you just don't even know what's real and what's not anymore you know you're just on you're gone you know just fuck elvis has fucking left the building you know what i mean so that we left the building yeah i was just you know i was yeah like i was gone so that was enough can't stop doing anything yeah he needs to be talking or moving he needs to be like drinking diet coke putting stuff in his mouth hey he He might actually, you know, they say he's on Adderall. He might actually have ADD. Yeah.

But it's not helping. Or he's taking too much. Or, yeah, he's just on a lot of Adderall. Yeah, it's not a good. And then you got dollar store Shia LaBeouf over here. And he can't even shine. All right, let's go to something else now. That was long and boring.

You know, good moments, but long and boring, let's be honest. This one's posted by Toronto Rapture. It's called SimCityBaby. Thick fam, what is poppin'? It is Wednesday morning. Your boy just pulled up to work. About to go in Thick Boy's studios, get it done. We got Chet Hanks on today.

2023 tour. We're announcing a bunch of dates. The first day, we got some great markets coming up. January 2023, bringing the new year in the right way. We kick it off in Las Vegas, Nevada. Your boy opened up the club. Pause it for a second. Las Vegas, Nevada. Your boy opened up the club. Pause it for a second. Las Vegas, Nevada.

So much is, you know, you can never tell how long these clips are going to be. Because it seems like it's going to be very short, but then it's like a long clip of him doing this, which is crazy. It's crazy that he's talked for a whole minute talking about, yeah, I just pulled up at work. But then also nobody forces him to wear stuff like this. Yeah. Like, nobody at gunpoint was like, you got to put on these glasses and that hat.

Yeah. That, where do you find a pink and green San Diego Padres hat? I know. He must spend a lot of time at Lids. Or like going, he's either going to the mall or just ordering hats all day long. Yeah. When he's not podcasting, he's got like eight hats in his cart i mean listen i'm not a fashionable guy right yeah i'm gonna tell you that right yeah but he's got a

cream sweater with the green hat with a pink uh overtones too much matching it's all matching yeah kind of gaby i mean how often does shah proceed to check out? You know, he must be like constantly ordering clothes. Proceed to check out. You need to write more, write more material. Yeah. You know, Papa. Yeah. Really dude.

What he does when he writes materials, he writes a city in a circle and then he brainstorms out of there. You know, I imagine him with like a giant pencil. Yeah. Like a little kid, big dice on the table it's also a colored pencil too it's not a regular pencil well he has like a working room where he does his material but his wife has to come in and take out his toys first like he's like he comes he's like oh what i don't remember what i don't remember what his wife's name is. He's like, oh. Let's say it's Jessica.

Jessica, you left my dragons and the dinosaurs in here again. You know I'm going to play with those instead of writing. Or it's not even Jessica. Tiger and Boston. Tiger, I told you. You can't leave your toys out. Daddy has to write a new Gringo Poppy. All right.

Ask Jay to play with you. That would be epic if he came out with gringo poppy too i can't wait there was a thing that said um he was going on his new tour and it's like we're recording or getting ready for new special i'm legitimately excited i am too yeah especially after watching some of the specials that came out recently not gonna name names there aren't too good no but i was just i keep thinking about the gringo poppy dude i know it's a cultural movement yeah there's a joy it's like i don't understand the movie the room i never got it why people like that but gringo poppy for me that's my room yeah

like i could see myself going to the hollywood cemetery and watching it with other people other like-minded cats yeah if you will. I think that would be fun. I don't know if I want to put this on wax, but he's performing in Bakersfield in February. Oh yeah? We're going to go? I don't know. It's a long drive. Well, actually, you know what? I drove it to do something else and it wasn't too

bad. Two hours? Yeah, get some Dutch bros. Yeah. Let's do it, dude. Alright, let's go back to this clip. Oh, just to keep it. So he's at work and that's all we know so far. Let's do it, dude. Alright, let's go back to this clip. It's January. Oh, just to keep, so he's at work and that's all we know so far. It's been a minute into the clip and he's only said I'm at work three times. Ready?

He's doing a vlog. Those tickets just went on sale. The first show is damn near sold out. Doing five shows total. Go get your tickets, Vegas. In end of January, we're in Tampa, Tampa Bay, Florida. Get out those Tom Brady jerseys.

Dust off those Mike Allstott jerseys. Maybe even do a throwback Steve Young, Tampa Bay, rookie year jersey, and get your sweet, tan, sweaty asses, Tampa. That's end of January, Tampa Improv. But Las Vegas, let's kick the year off. That might have been January. Tampa Improv. But Las Vegas.

Damn. That might have been a preview to the material. Might get some Mike Allstott jokes. Everyone's dying for that. I'm in Sin City, baby. Come get some. Tickets at Thickboy.com. Hey, you guys in Tampa, you remember Mike Allstott?

How come running backs, fullbacks aren't white anymore how about you know like where's a white fullback am I right right I mean that that's all I got for that all right let's go to the next one here it's called thick hedgehog 4136 or that's who posted it rather that's the user uh this one's called Thick Hedgehog 4136. That's who posted it, rather. That's the user. This one's called Why You Lying, Rinks. Messi is considered, like a lot of people say, I was talking to a guy yesterday who is the broadcaster and played for 18 years. Broadcaster of what?

Played for 18 years for the World Cup. Played for 18 years. Wait, he was broadcasting for the World Cup? He called you after the Cup? What's that? I'm having a hard time buying this. So he got done with the broadcast. He called finals, but he was like, Brian, I have to talk to you. No, he didn't after the cup. What's that? I'm having a hard time buying this. No, he... So he got done with the broadcast. He was like, Brian, I have to talk to you.

No, he didn't call the finals. He called most of the World Cup. But not the finals. No, and I said... What's his name? I don't remember his name, but he played for 18 years. I'm not buying this at all. You know it's a lie.

Go ahead. And he called you... The way you know it's a lie is somebody doing well in their career is calling Brian. That's not Joe Rogan, you know it's a lie is somebody doing well in their career is calling brian that's not joe rogan you know nobody would risk their career calling this lunatic yeah with his stupid sandals plus even if they didn't want to risk their career nobody wants to call somebody who's gonna be like hey i gotta talk to you about sandals yeah you know i got these sandals you're gonna want to wear these sandals can you talk about my special on the World Cup broadcast? No, Brian.

No. Gol para Messi. También Brian Cullen. Qatar would be a good place for Brian. They wouldn't give him as much shit as extracurricular activities. I would love to see T-Fat K on location in Qatar, dude. I guess they probably wouldn't break any rules except for the constant drug and alcohol use.

They would have a bigger fan base for sure. Hey, call him Gabe really quick, please. Out of all his friends that he played for years. He's at my friend's party. He's English. There he is, JP. This guy really? No.

Keep going. I'm calling bullshit. Derek, Derek. I'll find him. Keep going. That's it. He's here. Yeah'll find him. Keep going. That's it. Back up. Check in the lie section of Google.

No, that's not him. I'll find him. Broadcasters that don't exist. Imagine not editing this out of the podcast, dude. Yeah, they're showing everything. I got respect to that. Unless it's like a built-in bit. But I feel like it's not. not editing this out of the podcast dude yeah they're they're showing everything i guess respect to that unless it's like a built-in bit yeah but i feel like it's not i mean he's like he's obviously like violently blowing his nose the whole time if they're trying to lean into like

their roles that'd be interesting yeah papa just continuously doing stupid so i don't think he's smart enough to do that yeah but brian may be able to lean into like being the evil idiot. Yeah. Who knows? It's just ridiculous to me that they don't go anywhere. He's not even telling a true story. Yeah, he's just saying something about a broadcaster he talked to. Do you think maybe it's a soccer

podcast? No, no, no. Hold on. He does it in the basement? Sir. Does he play FIFA a lot? Sir, he's there. Did he win the world club in FIFA, but for somebody that's really dumb and can't talk English, he's, he jumps on people so fast when they look like idiots. Yeah.

He's like, now you're like me all of a sudden. How does that feel? Not too good. Huh? Not too fun to be dumb. Hmm. Yeah. Let me see.

Where are the... Oh, Fernando. Is that him? With the stash? This is the pot calling the kettle a stool. And humping it. Anyway, it's Guy. Go ahead.

It's Guy Malbran. Go ahead. Carry on. Let's pretend that this is legit. And he said... This is legit. Yeah, probably it's him. Yeah, it's him. It's a British one. Just look up English. It's worked on BBC. Yeah, probably is him.

It's a British one. Just look up British English. It says worked on BBC. It is BBC World Cup. Yeah. BT Sport. Yeah. Yeah. Well,

one of those fucking guys. Sure. It's Clive. Yep. Let me see. Either way, it never happened, but let's pretend it did.

Carry on. No, it's definitely not Clive. It's that guy right there. Gary. Okay. So he, oh my Gary. Go there yourself. Minutes of silence. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. It's so frustrating. What are you doing, Chin? Yeah. Sometimes you got to wonder what Chin is doing. Because he edits, right? Yeah. Edit a little better, Chin.

Cut this out. Yeah, cut it out. Otherwise, the brilliant chefs. What is it? Highlight. Oh, is it Highlight Numerous, another one? No, isn't it somebody else? Yeah.

All right, whatever. All right, so this one's posted by Highlight Numerous again. Oh, yeah. That's what I was just reading. Bapa and Rinks talking about cogs. Let's see what this is all about.

Ready? What? Do you remember? I'm always fascinated with like, because so much of this is, oh, it feels good. So much of this. Heartfelt moment. By the way, we came out of the closet a couple of minutes is, oh, it feels good. So much of this heartfelt moment.

By the way, we came out of the closet a couple of minutes ago. Yeah, man. I don't do coke, but I do. Did you say coke? I thought we were talking about cock. Me too. I'll sniff your dick from here, bro. I was a cock addict. Listen, I was a cock addict.

I went down some dark places. That's right. If you take my program, giving up cocks are us. It's only gay. You too can quit sucking dick. That's right. If you take my program, giving up cocks are us. It's only good. You can quit sucking. I'm sorry. Sorry. God,

he opened up and now you bring cock. I'm so sorry, dude. But what do you remember? Do you remember? Cause I always believe like when you actually make that decision, right? That real decision to go sober.

Like there's that going back to serious. I wonder if after this is shot, Callan and Shop talk to each other and like, man, do that, that part where we got to the cock thing, we were like, I might be gay.

And then you were like, I'll sniff your cock. And you were like, I'm addicted to cock. And they think it's really good. They're like, that was, that was like the old, the fighter and the kid.

We were really bringing it out. You know? I mean, if Rogan sees that, we're going to be on again. Or when he's telling Rogan, he's like, dude, so you know how Chet does coke, right? Rogan's just staring at him. So we were thinking coke is like it sounds like cock so i grabbed brian's leg and we did we did a really good bit about we're us being gay yeah like telekineticallys and we don't do that as much now like we go because we forget that how funny it is

that we might be gay like brian started accepting gay people he's like he's really toned it down on the cock all right let's go to this next one it's uh posted by boo 89 it's called snot tom hanks uh which i think means not tom hanks let's see what it's all about obviously you've done a million things right with you've been on some big shows stuff like that movies but when your dad's tom hanks and anybody else that's a successful career like acting's as tough as it gets. To make any of those sets is a beast. Like, the level of entry is a nightmare. So by all...

It's so political. Yeah, it's so political. But by all regards, you've had a successful acting career. But when your dad's Tom Hanks, it's like Michael Jordan's son. If he played one double-A basketball, that ain't going to cut it. When your dad's... That people are like, oh, he's a failure. It's like...

He was only 6'2", right? It doesn't matter. But it's like your dad, who cares about his size? But your dad that people are like oh he's a failure it's like he was only 6'2 right it doesn't matter but it's like your dad who cares about his size but your dad's you know Michael Jordan so people are expecting you to

NBA's the least you can do if you're not in 7 all star games it was a failure so for you you're kind of set up I love the Oasis feeling

there's expectations man like your brother's career is popping he's in everything King Kong massive move Jack Black he was great on. He's in everything. King Kong, massive move. Jack Black, he's great on there. He's in Dexter, one of my favorite seasons. But then, you know, he's not Tom Hanks.

You know, it's like. What did we just watch? Yeah, I'm a little bit speechless there. But failure, he says failure like the college bailer. It's like a combination of both. You're not Tom Hanks. You're not Michael Jordan. What the fuck?

I mean, imagine going on a podcast and being compared to your father. The most traumatic thing that could possibly happen to a drug addict's life is maybe his relationship with his father. Yeah, it could be very rocky if he was an addiction. And then you got Brendan Shaw being like, you're not your dad. Over and over and over again. He's the bad voice in Chet Hayes' head. And it's like, it's coming from Shaw.

You're not your dad like you didn't do anything really good you're not you know how Michael Jordan's son didn't do nothing good you're also not that good he's gonna go on stage

and be like so the other day I was talking to Chet Hayes and guess what dude I mean he's not Michael Jordan the crowd's like what

he forgets that he's supposed to say he's not Tom Hanks he's not he never played basketball they're like Chet Hanks the's not Tom Hanks. He's not, he'd never played basketball. They're like Chet Hanks, the son of Tom Hanks.

Yeah. Never even, he wasn't even on a high school basketball team. Isn't that funny? I like how he has to tell him over. He's all, he's all not. Tom Hanks has a basketball.

He's Duncan. And then Chet Hanks is all, I can't dunk. It's, it's infuriating how basketball, he's dunking, and then Chet Hanks is all, I can't dunk. It's infuriating how he got the first time he said it. Perfect. Like, you already made a terrible point to make. Yeah, you don't need to make it many times. But you already made the point. But he, in his head, was like,

I don't think he understands that he's not Michael Jordan. I mean, Tom Hanks or Michael Jordan. He's a failure. You're a failure. You did cocaine. You could have done movies. Yeah. You got to be Tom Hanks of cocaine now. He's a failure. You're a failure. You did cocaine. You could have done movies. Yeah. You got to be Tom Hanks of cocaine now, like Pablo Escobar style.

Chet Hanks confirmed homeless after just that clip. Probably homeless as fuck now. Yeah, you're right. Let's see this next clip. It's called Social Media Ain't Real. You're Doing Great, Papa. Papa, cheers. Posted by the real Mr. Versace.

Social Media to help people this all the time, ain't real. It's people posting 15-second videos, maybe 45-second videos in their entire day. And we assume that they're doing okay. Social media is not real. He was clearly hurting like a mother trucker. It makes me feel so sad that he did this what are they referencing i think probably that guy they killed himself the dancer tiktok person but it's funny because shab is he we just saw him do a vlog where he's like yeah oh i'm out here in

the studio i'm doing great i have all these shows coming up. Hopefully he doesn't kill himself, but yeah, I mean, that's like this, but you it's real and you use it. Yeah. Yeah. You don't mean who knows?

He's like the only real thing about social media, social media is when I post tick tocks and a standup clips. I'm not on social media, but I do have a vlog for every time I come to work. Every time he, every single time he gets to the podcast, he's like, what up, B? I'm here. We got another hat.

This hat is a Boston Celtics hat that is yellow and purple, okay, like the Lakers. It doesn't make sense, but it's on my head. But keep your eyes out for my favorite shoe in the studio today. Man, I'm going to minnesota like check out kevin garnett and uh fran tarkington wear your fran tarkington jersey i don't know why i'm giving a shot this way all right so we were looking forward to this clip uh it's this one's posted by abbreviation news 8616 and it's called it's my job to create nothing out of something yeah and prepare yourself for this because it is one of the funniest clips I've ever seen. We already watched it.

I would have told him something. It's my job to create nothing out of something. I got to get going. I laughed so hard the first time we watched that. I had to take a break. I had to be like, hold on a second. Hold on a second. To create nothing out of something.

Perfect. You could not have written something better than that. Shakespeare could not have done that. A comedic genius. If Schaub was doing that on purpose, he is the best. He is George fucking Carlton. That is amazing. That was so funny.

Yeah. Man, if only he was doing it on purpose. Genius. And you know what's crazy, too, about the T-Fat K thing is whenever they post an episode on T-Fat K or on King of the Sting or whatever, Golden Hour, they never have the proper, they don't have the title on there. It just posts with like just the name of the podcast. And then somebody goes back later and puts the title in it's like who the fuck is running all this stuff he's looking for a new social media are you saying yeah are you saying that thick boy nation isn't doing a good job they are they

it's so infuriating how terrible everything is though everything i have a feeling that that uh shab and callen and whoever else is running this they're kind of cheapskates and they just try and get the cheapest person or whoever they can sort of get hey can you do this for me and then we get you exposure and yeah i have a feeling it's that kind of thing i bet it's not a very great job environment you know because he's always blaming his staff for things but i i've heard to the contrary i've heard that he pays well okay yeah i could be wrong yeah he obviously things are going downhill though too you know exactly yeah but as a producer yeah as a producer it's just something i've noticed yeah it's like they'll post a new episode and it'll show up in my youtube feed

and there's a one of those big lines and there's no title to it and and there's already the thumbnail with the title in it but it's like who's doing this shit i like to imagine that shop is posting everything himself and it's forgetting certain things you know that would be so fun i mean definitely not that's like the monkey with the computer the the uh keyboard he just slams it against the thing that That's shop posting. I wanted to tell a shot. They tell, they would have, they would have somebody tell shop.

Oh, you did it. You posted it, but then they posted it. No, it was you that did it. Good job. Get out of the computer room.

Okay. I go play with my toys. Now I go right. Company with my toy. I go drink my diet Coke. Now does anyone have a rebel? I just finished my Diet Coke. I want some orange juice.

Can you pour coffee in my orange juice? No, Shob. No coffee in orange juice, okay? Pour it in my shoe. Pour it in my shoe. His wife puts Alpha Brain on a spoon and he goes... Why can't I drink out of my shoe? Shob, we've talked about this.

Cups. All right, whatever. Cups are gay. Cups are gay. Did we fuck each other? Did we fuck each other? What a stupid, you know, he's going to say that. And then, I mean, actually, I don't think I did. I think you should, you said, seen it before.

And you're like, what do you think he's going to say next? Oh yeah. Yeah. I was like, oh no, I did. I was like, what? Jack, jack each other off. That was my guess. Not a genius like shop. All all right let's go to the next one all right so this one's pretty short it's posted by cruel ambitions and it's called this is so bizarre you're the

wind's game what is it that sign is made from the that's neon i don't even know what he says you're the women's game that sign is made from the that's the fun of women's soccer oh really it looked like he was doing like a Will Ferrell elf impersonation or something this should be in an ad for Starbucks get your

Starbucks today and then it's Shob doing that you can be funny at Starbucks. Starbucks helps people with mental deficiency. Donate. Every time you get a Guadalata heart scarf at Starbucks this season, we'll help someone like this. That sign is made from the, go to the women's game.

Yeah, I'm sure he's making fun of women at shop. What is it? That sign is made from the, Do you hear the women's game? Yeah, I'm sure he's making fun of women at shot. He's a misogynist. Is there any more obnoxious move of like, oh my God. Is that an elf thing? I've never seen an elf. I don't know. I don't think so. I mean, yeah.

I mean, any of the people on the women's soccer team, if you took them out, and I don't know much about women's soccer, but I assume any of them could do, probably if you had a bunch of different tests of mental capacity or physical or almost anything, they'd probably do better than Schaub. You know how he loses? There might even be one of the clips,

he loses the race to that guy, Chappelle Lacey, and he's like, oh, my leg. There should just be a TV show of Schaub losing to people at things. I'd watch it. That's essentially what many of these clips are. He's losing in conversation.

Schaub could lose anywhere. Put him in an elevator and he will find a way to lose. It's like not even a competition, just an elevator ride. Schaub will lose. Oh, really, dude? Shop will lose seven times a week.

Oops. Oops. All right, so now we get to the part of the show. We're going a little longer this week where we watch clips, specifically clips that are the top from the last year. Oh, wow. From the year 2022. But there's a Venn diagram where it's the top from the last year. Oh, wow. From the year 2022. But there's a Venn diagram where it's the top of the year, but also clips that we haven't seen

already on the show. Get to our favorite top of the year where we get to where we get to see Boppa call you a queer. And you know, the best song of the year is CR Guitar's theme song he did for us. Shout out. Shout out CR Guitar. Also, shout out Haphazard for sharing our songs.

Yeah, thank you for sharing all our stuff, man. All right. Great guy, never met him. So this one is very popular. One of the top clips in the subreddit for the last year, and we have not seen it on the show yet. But it's Steve-O and Tony Hitchcliffe ridicule the gringo poppy described Brenda's career as death by a thousand self-inflicted paper cuts

posted by Sprout Cobain. Really easy. No airport. You mean Arlington where Gringo Poppy was filmed? Wait, is that where, is that where that was filmed? Is it?

The, the, the Dallas improv Arlington? I think so. Yeah. That's where Gringo Poppy was filmed. So you probably know better than I do, but is Arlington not Dallas? I don't think so.

Arlington, I think, is its own city. So Dallas isn't different then? Was that a set effort? No, no, no. I'm asking. He wasn't in Dallas then. Dallas and Brock. That's a good question.

I don't really know. Is Arlington the capital of't really know. What is it? Is Arlington the capital of Texas? No. What is. All right. So I cut all that out because we didn't know what the capital of Texas was because we're redacted.

Well, we just found out that Arlington is not Dallas. Some might say the most redacted. You're just like Prince. I'm just like Prince. Hope you enjoy this show. i want to be redacted all right let's uh continue with the clip tough act to follow he's laughing like we do on clips

but it's like people think that it's fake and it might be but it's like that's how that's sometimes how shab makes us laugh you notice that it's fake and it might be, but it's like, that's how, that's sometimes how shop makes us laugh. Yeah. Yeah. So what's fake about it? He's, he's nervous laughing. Cause he doesn't want to talk about shop. Oh, is that it? Okay. I mean, he starts perspiring heavily. He's like, I should, I slam him. This whole thing is roasting people. Yeah. All right. Yeah. Dicey dice little dicey dicey for Tony. Here it goes. Oh man. How do you know that? How do you know that was filmed there?

I was fascinated by the entire thing. I even know where the construction paper came from. Everybody's thinking the same thing. Cause it's like Walsh said it was fascinating. Walsh talked about the stucco, the guy cutting out the stucco. This I've said it so many times. It needs to be a documentary.

Well, they made the room. They might make a recreation of the gringo poppy, like a fucking. I want to make a recreation. Yeah. I want to like a fucking i want to make a recreation yeah a puppy i want to like reshoot it and beat and do it like there's this lars von treer thing where he creates recreates movies i want to do that for the gringo poppy but that's a side but in the future when timothy chalamet is what 40 years old you know what i mean timothy chalamet gets shredded dude

and then he starts drinking heavily he's like very method with his acting yes he starts taking alpha brain angry hippo whatever that thing's called and then he fucking goes to arlington and shoots the gringo poppy becomes oscar nominated that'd be good but he's stuck in the role and he becomes redacted you know daniel day lewis could do that because now they have cgi and they could make him younger or whatever i'm i've abandoned my babarito i've abandoned my podcast if i said i was a comedian you would agree i can give you all types of mexican jokes i can talk about pico de gallo i can i'm just like doing a pen i want to see Zendaya with fake implants as Brendan Schaub's wife and Timothee Chalamet as Brendan Schaub.

That's probably more marketable than my Daniel Day-Lewis. Very good. Very good. Very good, Gerardo. There's that scene in There Will Be Blood where he's like, I'm a businessman. He's like, I'm a numbers guy, B. I drink your tiger whiskey. I'm a numbers guy, B.

I drink your tiger thick. I take your tiger thick. With some kratom. All right, let's finish this. I killed Jay. I killed Jay. Jay is dead. We are a family business. I killed Jay. I killed Jay. Jay is dead. We are a family business.

Just X Jay. I. Dude, there will be blood. Brennan Shop is pretty good. That's pretty. That should be on Chang's. It'll probably be on Chang's next week. Daniel Redacted View.

What are we doing here? If Daniel Plainview is like angry at the oil or oil people, can we, um, you remember the scene where they try and sell him or buy something and he puts the napkin over his head and he's just like, well,

fuck you. Oh, fuck. And it'd be funny if he put his, the napkin over his head and he was like, what are we doing here? His son's all nervous. Like, why is he doing shop?

We're going to go poppy. This is real dark. This movie's starting to go dark. His deaf son comes up to him and goes, what are we doing here? And then he says, oil bee. Oil bee. Dude, an interview with Daniel Day-Lwis on tfak would be great so you're like a fucking gay actor right yes i am uh i'm an actor he's like you're a cobbler right you make shoes you got a favorite shoe of the week

so so you're like a method actor right What if you had to play a gay guy? Then you would love cock. Would you blow Ryan right now? Have you ever played UFC guy in movie? What are we doing here? But all that to say, it is a moment in history that should be replicated in the future. Yes, someday. All this. You know, there's going to be a character for ha should be replicated in the future. Yes, someday. All this.

You know, there's going to be a character for Haphazard in the credits. You know what I mean? Haphazard was a man posting on TFATK. Cut it out. Oh my God, it's so funny. Yeah, we all are. We're all very fascinated about it. It was fascinating.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, just like, I'm particularly close to that because of the known for other things coming into stand-up. Like first special on Showtime, you know? And then like putting out the second special on you know on your own 35 minutes my goodness that's when you know he's not homeless really because i have 25 minutes like it's zapped into my brain i know that more than that stuff i know at work. Like passwords to my various sites that I have to use. I might forget them and have to check my notes.

I will never forget how long Gringo Papi is. Dallas is different. Dallas is, in fact, different. Interesting. It's like death by a thousand self-inflicted paper cuts or something. Yeah. It's pretty intense. But yeah,

like I was particularly, I gotta say that's pretty profound for coming from Tony Hinchcliffe. I don't understand it. What like imagine dying from paperclips. Oh, because he did the cutto. Is that a joke about the cutto? What is the cutto? Like this, the putting the Dallas stuff up. Oh, because he did the cutto. Is that a joke about the cutto? What is the cutto?

Like putting the Dallas stuff up? No, he's saying that he's killing his own career very slowly. Oh, I mean. He's saying that, imagine just cutting yourself with paper every day until you die. That's horrifying. I know. It's very poetic, though. It's kind of true.

Bop is kind of killing his own career. He doesn't see what everyone else sees. It sounds like something Confucius would say kind of killing his own career. He doesn't see what everyone else sounds like. Something Confucius would say, or I don't know. You don't like Confucius. No. Okay. You know, I guess that is a compliment. You're right.

That is a very, uh, that is a compliment. I guess. No Confucius sucks. All right. Confucius say should say more gringo poppy type stuff. Well, Confucius was known as a really big roaster back in the day. All right, so this next one is posted by The Squirrel Guy. And I'm pretty sure we haven't seen this one,

but I know it's a popular-ass clip. Okay. Send that clip to Chen. Clint, do you have that chip? The people that are negative for him. Clint, do you have that chip? We can't play the whole thing because it has a song. Clint, do you have that chip?

Clint, do you have that chip? Clip, clip, clip a song. Clint, do you have that chip? Clint, do you have my chips? Where are my chips, Clint? I'm just going to only be able to do Daniel Flandre from the rest of this. If I told you I had a bag of chips, Clint, would you know where my chin is? What else you got? What else you got, chin? I've asked you a question and you'll answer it right away.

I kicked Brian off the show because of an LA Times article. So now it's just you and me, Theo. Oh, you're gone and you don't want, I don't want that. I've abandoned my chin. I've abandoned my chin. The podcast will now be known as the golden hour. We can cut this clip out if you want. But I saw this the other day and it made me laugh pretty hard.

It's called Joe Rogan ruins comedy show. I'm open to it, B. Posted by Moving Sounds. Here we go. Live on Kilt TV. We just did a five hour podcast and we're fucking hammered. Cheers. Cheers. Joe Rogan. Woo! on Kiltoni we just did a five hour podcast and we're fucking hammered cheers cheers one of my heroes

suck my dick one of my best friends Bert I will buy you a fucking house let's go let's go! Let's go, bitch! Let's go!

I was like, I hope I don't get canceled. I used to play Super Smash Bros. Melee. Wow. I don't know anything about that. We're surrounded by nerds. It is. It's all quiet. Incredible. And when you want it to be over,

it's never finished. Crisher drank a gallon of whiskey today. I'm not even lying. It's a shocking amount of whiskey. Bert and I were singing that song on the podcast today. Drunk as fuck. I am fucking hell.

Oh my god. Look at this. These two guys. We all need guns. I get a FaceTime call. It's Bert and Joe and they're like hey and they're shit-faced, right? This is Texas, where America lives. There's only 1,000 of these people that can do it.

Richard, where were you? They can perform at this level. Only 1,000 at a time. Got my ass. Dressed up like Woody from Toy Story. He oversees exactly that. I've been in China for a while. Oh, okay. Hell Story. He never sees exactly. I've been in China for a while. Oh, okay.

Hell yeah. Old school, baby. Dicey dicey. Learning Kung Fu and slinging dick. How long did you spend over there? I wonder if slinging... He's like, yeah, Joe. I wonder if slinging dick comes from Rogan

because that's what Bapa says, right? Oh, 100%. Yeah, dick comes from Rogan. Cause that's what, um, yeah, Papa says, right. Oh, everything, everything comes out. Yeah. I wouldn't give Papa the credit to create slinging dick, dude.

Okay. Shout out to Ric Flair. I don't know. I've, I mean, we've both been here though. We came in. Five drinks came in five drinks in. Five drinks in.

Stop getting stuck into the bed. What the fuck is happening? Five drinks in. That's my son, you crazy bitch. It's one funny thing. Every time you come on Kill Tony, you're blasted. I never feel like I should be sober. I'm not really performing.

I'm just watching. Let's show up blasted. You can pull it off. Holding it together. Death by a thousand drinks. You guys know this is going on the internet, right? She's a celebrity, Joe. You guys, this is my best friend, Dom Herrera.

Imagine you're a best friend of Dom Herrera. This is my best friend, Dom. Dom, say something funny, Dom. He's like, eh. This poor old man in a golf hat. Please don't hurt me, Joe hat please don't hurt me Joe please don't hurt me Joe remember that I'm your best friend

and sign anything I will marry Donna Ray let's go bitch oh my god it's the longest thing of all time. It's crazy. Yeah.

All right. Sticking with the same themes. We're going to go to a clip posted 11 months ago, long before 10 minutes of shop ever started before Brendan had the great idea of watching gringo pop. Oh shit. And by Brendan, I mean Cooney.

Uh, and this one's called the crushing inevitability. Wow. I said that word without fail. Those. Yeah, it's tough on the crushing inevitability. Wow. I said that word without fail. Yeah, it's a tough one. The crushing inevitability of decline posted by Larry Fong 11 months ago. So let's check this out. I'm like filtering the face.

Oh, no, she's dating a girl now. She's dating Miley Cyrus' daughter. She used to date Miley Cyrus. You just know it's wrong. Miley Cyrus is dead. Everyone's laughing so hard. They can't wait. You're both fired.

Did he end up firing them? I don't know. They're off their show. Oh, okay. Yeah. I know Malik came out and said a bunch of shit, right? Yeah. Malik said that he was told he couldn't talk about Black Lives Matter.

Yeah. That's wild. Yeah. Let's keep it positive B talk about cogs Alright This is one of Brendan's favorites You tell me to show everyone this video Oh yeah this one and the racial one are hilarious So we're going to watch this one here It's called

P.F. Chang's Sexual Harassment Training Mandatory for All Employees Posted by Podgeman. Not a draw, B. At P.F. Chang's, we strive to support each and every homeless cat. But it has come to our attention that some figures have been, as they would put it, slang and dig.

It is important that we address sexual misconduct and how to identify it in the workplace. The first method is known as the pseudo-intellectual. The offender will attempt to impress their victim by claiming they are well-read. They will then recite quotes in a pretentious tone of voice, rambling about biological, primal desires. If you witness this, report to security immediately.

Use the code word, big, bad, rapist. Security will know report to security immediately. Use the code word BIGBADRAPIST. Security will know what to do next. Another technique is called the gimme. The offender will send a private message to their target. Its contents may include suggestive emojis or lewd comments about one's baldy. Upper management is perplexed by this technique as it is surprisingly effective in hooking up with chicks. Do not be their next victim. They likely have a Mexican waiting for them at home. Instead, document the exchange and report it to HR. Remember that even Snapchats

can be screenshotted. The final scenario is the trug walk walk It is such a pathetic maneuver that you may not identify It as sexual harassment At first The offender will approach their target And invite them as an escort to their overcompensating vehicle But do not be fooled The victim is meant to be an escort In more ways than one

If you or another is asked to walk To somebody's truck Politely decline You can embarrass them later on social media If you or another is asked to walk to somebody's truck, politely decline. You can embarrass them later on social media. The offender might not read the comments, but somehow they'll see it anyway. Another thing to note is that many of these offenders are ambiguous in their sexual preference. Nobody should assume that they are safe from a thorough gadushing.

To prevent an encounter, we suggest that all employees work on their hundred meter dash. Although the predator may pursue a runner, they will give up quickly. With all that in mind, stay safe, keep up your work ethnic, and remember, you do not matter. Damn.

Yeah, the punchlines in that with the Chabonese is just so so good yeah like i really or whoever they are yeah yeah so we're almost done with the year of you with the clips that we've missed sorry this is taking longer than usual brendan i know you got places to be your numbers guy right yeah i'm a numbers guy b you know that um this one's posted by ultra coin it's called the gringo poppy the greatest bomb of all time daddy'm a numbers guy, B. You know that. This one's posted by UltraCoin. It's called the Gringo Poppy, the greatest bomb of all time. Daddy is a numbers guy. Here it goes.

It is official. I've decided to leave Showtime. You know, I've been with Showtime for five years. And what we've done, we've built some cool stuff, man. History. And it's nothing but great memories. Like I said, this isn't a negative thing. This isn't a bad thing at all.

This isn't a bad thing. 2022 is gonna be a bad day for your boy. So, I'm doing well. I just think at the end of the day, I can do all of this and I said, man, if if you're gonna do this yourself, go all the way. I'm banking on myself, man. I'm I'm banking on my fan base. I'm gonna take in my own hands. I could do that myself, man. I could do that myself. So, I was just banking on myself. I just figured out I wanted banking on my fan base. I'm going to take it in my own hands. I could do that myself, man. I could do that myself. So I was just banking on myself. I just figured out I wanted to hire my own team, do things my way.

Decide to take control of my own business and do it all by myself. Hopefully I made you guys proud, man. And it's the Green Girl Poppings, the best I can do. And I know it's the right choice. 1.1 stars. Best he can do in that. And I know it's the right choice. 1.1 stars. Best he can do. I know it, and I can't wait for it. I can't wait for it.

Gringo Poppy is the worst special I've ever seen. You can't pretend that the Gringo Poppy is a good comedy special, right? Ben Avery laughed. You're doing great. I don't care. So're doing great. Get off.

I don't care. I don't give a fuck. So you didn't like the special? Of course not. Who did? If anybody says they did, they're lying. And that's crazy. It doesn't make sense.

No. How will you think you'd do? I think people would be surprised. Really? You think so? I think you'd be surprised. I think you have i think people be surprised really you think so i think you'd be surprised i think you have one foot out the door what are we doing now i am the blockbuster the destroyer of comedy. Blockbuster the destroyer of comedy. It is a.

Oh, man. This is a trip down. This is a trip down Dicey Lane, dude. Yeah. He found out at the end that it was, you know, Dicey, Dicey. Yeah. To do his own special. And then it led to the here comes Gringo Puppy.

Right down Gringo Puppy Lane. One point one stars. Well, I think that's a good way to end it there yeah thanks for tuning in we did a lot shout out to everyone thanks for a great year join the discord

Merry Christmas bye later