10 Minutes of Schaub - Brendan Schaub CALLED IT! | 10 Minutes of Schaub #99

Episode Date: April 23, 2024

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Driving to you On a Bahamo Cappuccino I got in Buffalo And when you get it You got some So don't worry About the comments

I'm a Brandon I'm a Brandon I'm a Brandon I'm a Brandon Tell them, Cooney Got what I got The big way I got the truck Each and every day Tell them, Cooney. I'm a Brandon I'm a Brandon I'm a Brandon

One take. Welcome back to Timutes of Shop. Welcome back to 10 Minutes of Shop. Thanks for tuning in. As always, join the Patreon, join the Discord, join the Reddit. We're both there. Ever heard of it? The last Patreon app that we did, we did a review of Russell Brand.

Yes. Rebirth. Yeah, the rebirth of Russell Brand yes rebirth yeah the rebirth of Russell Brand and so you can check that out to see whether he thought it was Negflix or Blogbossa Blogbossa yeah I mean there's a hint

do you have any shows to plug sir? yeah I got I'm going to be in El Paso, Texas June 24 I think the you can go on my Instagram and see but yeah I got

San Diego coming up, Burbank and San Diego again. I got two San Diego weekends things and then boom, boom, boom. I'm going to need your help because I do have a show to plug. Which one? It's new. Well, two shows. One is April 27th and then also May 17th.

I'm headlining. Basement Dwellers. Basement Dwellers. Do you know where it is? Yeah, it's at the Fret House. The Fret House, May 17th. Wow. headlining. Basement Dwellers. Basement Dwellers. Do you know where it is? Yeah, it's at the Fret House. The Fret House, May 17th. Wow. But that's not why you're here.

That was the worst plug of all time. The worst plug of all time. I didn't look it up, but I remember that I'm doing it. That's not why you're here. You're here to watch 10 Minutes of Shop. So start the timer, play the chin clip. Alrighty. Well, we got a lot of clips to chin today, dude.

Like always. Let's see here. The first one is if I fucking, I'm not even ready, dude. Don't worry. All right, here we go. So the first one we got is Shab finally admits he cannot attend UFC events. But let me make it a little bigger here. They better fix that.

I know, right? Let's see. Ready? Was it worth it in hindsight now with antitrust lawsuit they settled in the contract now it says fighters cannot come after the ufc for fighter pay anymore the game is over there's nothing we can do there's no reason to bring it up was it worth it i would say no i can't attend ufc events and i love the ufc but you don't want to go anywhere i would go it hurts my feelings i'm like the the nerdy kid at prom that you know didn't get a date like i don't like the prom

i love the ufc i bleed u UFC. It's all I cover. One of the reasons I left Showtime is because they wanted me to cover Bellator. I went, I can't. They go, we thought you liked MMA. I go, I do, but only UFC and one championship. They cover Bellator. At first, I was kind of feeling bad. A rare moment of all wholeness from Shob. I was like, of feeling bad like oh rare a rare moment of all wholeness D you know

from shop and I was like oh man you can't do UFC but then he he was like I only like UFC and then the Showtime thing where he's like the reason I left is because they wouldn't they wanted me to do Bellator but I thought you left because you were betting on yourself and then he's like and I only watch UFC and one championship it's just gonna get more redacted as it goes probably yeah dude that's that's shot for you daddy

at least he's got the diet coke let's see what happens when he drinks it didn't want to I have no passion for it doesn't count yeah seeing you at a UFC event would be almost as rare

as seeing I don't know four shooting stars at once dude dude what else you got what else you got? At the end, dude,

boom. Oh man. Oh, I'm going to stop saying dude facts. Well, what do you, Oh, that was posted by bop bop a bink,

by the way. Sorry. I didn't say the name. Yeah. Well, good catch from him. That's, that's got a lot of the classics in there.

Very good. Good clip to start with dude facts all right uh this next one's called called it uh posted by hey mark wigski so this is in reference to uh another clip from this week but uh this is a good compilation if you will oh let's see here it's time, I just don't care. That's where I'm at. I got to be home more. I'm going to pull back from touring so much. Called it.

Called it. That's some sad news. I'm going to be taking a step back from being on King and the Sting. Called it. You just got to handle some shit, brother. There's a bigger thing for you out there you know let's go call it don't go to the bathroom there because you piss in the sink what the best part of that is weird

that's that got caught in the fucking sink pissing face. Yeah, what is weird? That you do that or that someone said that? You said this out loud that he pissed in the sink here. I've done it maybe once. Call it. Blinding it. What do you mean?

His Snapchat goes away, right? How they... He probably saved it. You can screen record, take screenshots. You you gotta know that that's gonna happen good dude some people do some crazy shit hold it brendan needs a handler do i oh man shout out to mark's laugh there yeah yeah we heard a little bit of that um i've seen the called a clip i'd like and that's gonna come up right yeah but just the the idea that um you know he's not okay like because he sounds so crazy i guess we'll talk about that when it happens but

that's a very good remix of that clip i wonder how many people lost money because they bet against Shab, dude. Called it! Oh, because of the Holloway thing? Yeah. Yeah. You know, you hear both ways. Sometimes Shab is a broken clock is redacted twice a day. Yep.

Heard it. Heard it that way for sure. This is posted by Tangy Brown Cider Town. It's called Give Me Attention. You've seen this. Everyone's seen this. It went viral. Oh, when he went crazy? Yeah, yeah, I actually know I haven't I've only seen like a little teeny bit of it. Oh, well check this out Oh, he's like come get some no no no no no no no no no Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.

He pulls a hamstring. Somebody thought he shit his pants. You saw that little maneuver there? Yeah, yeah. So shit pants, pulled hamstring. What else could it be? Shit pants, pulled hamstring. Checking for a magic mine or drugs of some kind.

Yeah. Also, yeah, drug mule. That's a drug mule move. Running around. The guy in the plaid is the drug mule. He stuck drugs in Shob. He was like, Shob's like, give me drugs. He texts him, give me drugs.

And then he stuck drugs in his pants and Shob's like, just making sure they're there. Shob's not actually weird. He's not really like sticking his hand in his mouth randomly or picking his nose or all the stuff he does. That's him putting drugs in his mouth. Or maybe even, I don't mean to paint a narrative here. Not drugs.

That's a little bit ridiculous. He's putting pouches. He's handing out nicotine pouches. He's embarrassed. He doesn't want people to see. He thinks nicotine pouches are illegal, so he stuffs them in his ass. Oh, you think he's putting them right up his ass? Well, why else would he be freaking digging up there while running around so you're saying he has a hole in his pants

it's right up there interest interesting yeah let's see here oh my god oh my god oh my god that was what the fuck oh my god, I mean, what everybody else said, he wants attention, he kind of acts crazy and stuff. It's a show, right? He's got to perform for the cats watching. Yeah.

What do you want? Someone just to watch him and be like, the diddler be like, insane. Or do you want Shai to be like, ah!

You want that. All right? He's giving you what you want. Don't complain about it i would give him more credit if he started double fisting just like oh you like trump yeah like trumping it if he did a trump dance yeah that's another thing he could steal right he likes to or appropriate he can appropriate some trump well the funniest thing is go to shop his mouth for sure dude so um pause let's see here this one's posted by chin second balcony it's called diddler bails close to an hour and a half before the end let's

see this so max for sure is getting at least the knockout of the night but he also saved the card because let's be honest this card for 300 has been a snooze fest it's not everyone has been saying it's like one of the best and like for so long Luke has been Luke was like this is amazing like it restored his like love of fighting

and all that so that's a very painted narrative well at least he's not taking other people's takes anymore that's true he's going the huge opposite way. Yeah. That wasn't on the main card, was it?

All right. Dude. No, but the greatest fight is next. The two Chinese chicks. Come on, Brennan. Brennan, be cool. Brennan, be cool, man. Be cool. Brennan, wake up. Come on, Brennan. be cool. Brennan, be cool, man. Be cool.

Brennan, wake up. Come on, Brennan. You can't fall asleep. No, this definitely would be better than Max Holloway, Justin Gaethje. Oh, come on. But they're both – I want to see them at least do some kung fu, right? Yeah, women fight. Look at Teporia.

See, I can go racist with it. Look at Teporia. Is that George Foreman? I'm racist. Whatever. Dude. All right. I got to go. Thanks, guys.

Chris Lear. Love you, buddy. See you later, buddy. You're the best, pal. Camo pants in case you got to blend in the foliage. Oh, wait. Let's get a pic real quick for Chris Lear. Marcus.

Sorry. I guess I wouldn't say like two chinese chicks like you did but this saying something and then going i like that yeah it's hard these red chairs yeah it doesn't really i don't i can't do it i don't have the black belt maybe if i had a black belt and pocket you'd switch chairs up every once in a while so i could do more head movement stuff you're right yeah yeah these are kind of like uh these are black office chairs dude what the hell because they're getting down to business boner alert this is where the board sits yeah the thick boy board when they're not doing the fight companion and make the big decisions that legs

is probably sitting there at some point yeah and i didn't know if you know this but they have to record each meeting like a podcast welcome back back to Thick Boy Board HQ. My name is Legs. Let's go over the numbers. Yeah. This is a business meeting instead of T-Bag Game. Let's see here. Wild.

Oh, man. Yeah, yeah. Greatest sport on earth. Greatest sport on earth. Greatest sport on earth. The best. That's crazy, but have you seen tennis? Keep the commentary going? Okay, well, the guys are taking pics right now.

Yeah, tell them what Max is saying. I don't have the audio to the fights, but the guys now are taking pics. Chris has to leave. Jason Mayhem Miller is here, which is a blessing for us. He's such a legend. Brian's there as well. Brian? Which one's Brian?

Yo, guys. Have a good one. Later, brother. Love you. Don't wear those pants, right? Don't wear those pants with combat boots. They're not. They're Yeezy. They're Yeezy. Everything about this group of people is so cringe and scary yeah the leo when he got up i was like oh my god he's huge this is like not a safe place for people to be this room

dude did you guys see the fight companion when they took a picture dude and he said like don't wear those with the and he's like they're yeezys bro this is my favorite show on earth dude i just imagine sitting there and being kind of like nervous like okay shab and and callen hate me probably and they're both bigger than i am and fight people and then delia is just like now now his character is openly racist and he's probably saying he wears yeezys and stuff i would just be like and then thishmm. And then this Mayan Miller guy, hasn't he been arrested a bunch of times for beating people up? I don't know. I'd be like, ah!

I'm not safe here. I want to know who this guy is, dude. Some guy taking pics. You know who that is? It's a future guest on Steve-O's podcast. He's like, so when Chris had to leave and they were going to take a picture, was it funny that you had to take...

You guys are still rolling, right? Would it feel anything awkward? He's like, yeah, he fired me after not paying me for four months. So can we talk about that? What did Tom look like in the picture? Did you delete any of them? I told you, Steve-O. I use my cell phone at work every day

and I didn't get compensated at all for my phone bill. We talk about that. I'm homeless. I'm literally and figuratively now. I'm on the Reddit now. My name is PP Stains in the front. All right, so this one's posted by Toxoplasmosis. It's called thoughts

and prayers i hope he someday figures those things quote out um obviously about theo so let's see okay thank you thank you guys congratulations thanks good to see you feeling okay yes sir wow man you're a king nice to see you guys thank brother. You're the craziest looking guys. Well, hopefully this doesn't get gadooshed. Oh, yeah. Well, Well sent me a picture of the hat thing. Yeah.

It just cracked me up. That's a very tight hat. VP needs to set their game up send them a good size well what is vp do you know it's definitely a truck company dude oh of course get on the fucking wagon dude what is this called vp fixes truck yeah um yeah well shimmy those those fitted hats they do that that's why i don't wear fitted hats if you got a giant head size eight i'm not a numbers guy but size eight inches um that does that to your head but i mean mine's fitted is it yeah you got a little bit oh motherfucker god damn it um don't expose yourself like that only a thousand can wear

fitted hats what were you saying but you you would do it confidently you knew there was a line there sort of you had an idea come on you're not it's not that bad right but you didn't know how bad it was if i could be like papa every day, I would do whatever that is to do that thing that makes me like Papa. What were you saying? Theo and Max meeting each other is cool because they're both very genuine people,

I think. If you watch... Theo's very funny and then I saw this old clip of Max when he was 16 years old and he was already kind of inspiring. Have you seen that thing? No. I was like, don't ever give up. If you give up, you're a loser.

He's Latino? Well, he has like that Hawaiian accent kind of. And I was just like, oh, man, he's like a very cool guy because he had a tough upbringing. Now he's reached the pinnacle of success. So it's cool to see really two great guys never met him. Yeah. Right? Two badass motherfuckers.

Right. And this would be the opposite. I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. I have nothing against these people. In fact, I love Chris Pratt. Well, there's one thing that comes to mind when I see this picture, dude. And that's fucking good.

You got Jocko in here, dude. Yeah, the king, dude. This one's posted by T-Stel. It's Theo figuring some things out with a flare of social media. Shout out to Theo. Hopefully he's doing all right. And thank you to Jocko for teaching us everything that we learned. Yeah.

You know? Yeah. Can't go to UFC? Good. Make a show about it. This one's posted by Hell Yeah. It's called Shob working on a new bit. I think I've seen this one.

Let's see here. This is, these are chick notes, right? You know what, I was 171. I'm 173 now, and I can feel it in my tummy. Hey, it's two pounds, right? Me and Mayhem are talking LBs, you fuck. That means a lot for me and my friends. It's two pounds.

I can feel it in my cheek right now, and I just, I got to drop it somehow. What are you weighing right now? 238. Come on, that's a lot. I was 236 on Monday. It's two pounds. I can feel it in my cheek right now. I just, I gotta drop it somehow. What are you weighing right now? 238. Come on, that's how long. I was 236 on Monday. You're pushing it. I love how it's the two pounds thingy. He's gained two pounds. Well, two

is the highest number that Brendan can probably add quickly, right? You're so fucked up, dude. That's my fucking goat right there, dude. Be careful. You're right. I should be cool. I'm sorry. We're gonna see this is what he would do in stand-up yeah he's working it out yeah hey that's a cool thing about brenda is some people have an issue where they can't try out bits you know because you feel kind of like hacky or whatever it's awkward ducks right brenda's just like anywhere dude i'm always writing because it's not about you or me. It's about the crowd. The future audience.

Yeah. Alright? Ringo Poppy 2. Okay, that's what we want, but I don't think he wants to revisit it. I mean, if you did the greatest stand-up special ever done by anyone of all time, you wouldn't want to do a second one? Yeah. Alright?

Even if you're not a numbers guy, which we both are. Not. Even if you're not a numbers guy, which we both are. Not. Even if you're not a marketing genius, which we both are. You would do it again. Yep. Run it back. Pick up the bag. Secure the bag, B.

Yeah, dude. Let's finish this clip off here. One sec. We getting a scale right now? Yeah. Is it because you're just not lifting as much? No, I am lifting more than ever. I was heavy when I wasn't lifting. What the fuck? Because I run every day.

Three miles. I'm going to teach you something. When you do the joke and it doesn't hit. Oh, that's why I went quiet. That's why I went quiet. You don't say it eight more times. The hat looks like it's like a Baskin Robbins hat. Like you'd wear,

you're working at Baskin Robbins and they're like, and you also wear this hat. Make sure you bring the hat to work every day. Every day. Speaking of the hat. Yeah. This is the post carnival bum. His hat is giving him CTE.

It's so tight. Not the best, you know, screenshot of Brendan there. First of all, Brandon hats are for ball guys, dude. Okay? Besides Gerardo.

Gerardo and ball guys. Stop where you're... Just stop wearing a hat. It's a problem solved. Problem? You got a problem? This is a problem. Solve it by not wearing it.

Hats. I like how you talked about pimples last week, and I got a fucking fat pimple here, dude. I told you. Right here. Hat knee. That shit right there. I got a hat knee on me, dog. You got a hat knee, dude here dude I told you right here hat knee that shit right there I got hat knee on me don't have any dude wash your face at night I do I don't but I do

and then your hat also could be have too much sweat calcium buildup and then this is another picture post posted by Irish pints man it's called number Number Six is Looking Dicey. And if you see here, number six looks a lot like Boppa, dude. Oh, fuck. I can't, once again, cannot tell if it's real or not. And the chain. These police sketches

were based on actual criminals who are either in prison or out there in the world somewhere as we speak. Which one is the creepiest? I don't know why number three, the Daft Punk made an appearance. Yeah, I think for me, the creepiest is probably number three.

But what do you think Brendan's crime is? Oh, it's obviously not real. Like, that's the Alabama thing, right? Yeah. With the leprechaun. Anybody see leprechaun say yeah? But what do you think Boppa's crime is, if that's Boppa? Slanging too much dick.

Next question. I think it's probably stealing? Slanging too much dick. Next question. I think it's probably stealing shoes. Oh, damn it. You got me. Stealing truck parts. Yeah. Oh, yeah. A thousand percent B.

This one's called Dude is Losing His Mind, posted by Bapa Bink. Let's see what this is all about. What Max Holloway did. Called it. What Max Holloway did. Called it. What Max. Called it. what max hallway did called it uh what max hallway did called it what man called it what's crazy about this fight called it what's crazy about this fucking fight it's not better than ufc 100 it's just not um and then what alex and jamal hill called it

alex and jamal called it Called it. Alex and Javon. Called it. Coffin. And the way, yeah, so like it's, I guess, meant to be a joke, right? But it's not delivered like a joke. It's delivered like he's an angry dad. Like a dad that's losing. You know when your dad loses his cool and you can feel it? He starts, he's, maybe he's right about the thing, but he's like going too far and not really making sense only because he's been wrong so many times you're like this doesn't really make sense like how mad you are and the way you're handling it

doesn't really make sense dad but you're my dad so i'm afraid that's what that sounds like to me yep damn dude cold it's like, whoa. This is just about putting away my toys. Golden! I'll put away the toys. Fine, I'll be a pitcher, Dad. This one's called, Bapa is ready to kick ass down at his chombies elementary school again, posted by Chin's Second Balcony.

Let's see here. Brother, I've done way worse than you my son two years ago kept getting bullied by this kid right kept getting bullied and then something happened where they partnered my son up like this fifth grader my son was like in first grade they partnered the fifth grader and first grade kids together and he got like this horrible kid and i kid the kid's been expelled twice for whatever reason they partnered my son up with him and i'll be so funny if the guy starts to cover his baby's ears i don't want you to consume this a little too redacted a little too redacted dude

he's actually giving it to the wife go ahead and take the baby i'll just yeah yeah but what the guy's shirt says brazilian what if he's he doesn't speak english he speaks only portuguese but he still covers ears my son was telling like no you're doing this wrong you gotta do it like this and the kid punched him in the eye what punch him right in the eye fifth grader and i was like oh hell no so i knew who this kid was down to the bat cave brendan i literally i i drove there i drove there oh dude i i flew down there and went to go find him and his dad and they knew you know they know my background so they as soon as i got to the property they're like they're not here i know

you're looking for him he's not here what what background is he yeah alluding to i guess ufc he's a big famous star i already i don't believe that they knew who he was and uh i don't believe that when he got there they were waiting for him i believe neither of those things it's possible he's famous but seems unlikely i believe it but i believe also they said hide the kids before he got there. Hide your kids. Hide your kids. He's going to start. He's like the turkeys. Yeah, dude.

Oh, whole family. Yeah. Let's see. Adam, go out the back. Like, please let us handle this. And I was like, you better handle it or I am tomorrow. And they suspend that kid for the rest of the year. I don't know. Wait, you got to explain this one to me.

So who was handling it? So was he talking to the school or the parents? Work it out. Because he said, you better handle this or I'm going to handle it. And then he was suspended. Tomorrow. He said he's going to come back tomorrow and handle it himself.

So it's got to be the school then. So the school had to suspend him for a year. Okay. So is he saying that he told the people, the school, the principal or whatever, that he's going to beat up the dad if they don't do anything?

Yeah. That sounds like the most painted narrative of all. I don't think that that's how they respond to threats of physical violence. Is that your takeaway, dude? Yeah, it is. Oh, okay. So you want them to suspend Bapa's kid for getting punched in the face? No, I think maybe suspending the kid makes sense.

I'm not saying, I'm not commenting on what the school did. The most of sense, dude. But I think it's unlikely that he went there and he was like, listen, I'm'm gonna fuck up the dad okay i'm gonna beat him and i didn't even say that he was like i'm gonna handle it what does that mean is he gonna gadouche the whole family oh he'll kibbutzaki good that's true i mean they got out easy i guess yeah because you know you can shab is throwing people through windows what if you went home and you saw window breaking and your

dad flying through it? You're like, oh fuck, I fucked up. And Shab is just yelling out boner alert. Yeah, you're like, oh shit, I shouldn't have bullied that kid and then your mom follows your dad out the window and you're like, oh my god. I'm next. Your brother, sister, grandma,

dog. Definitely dog. You don't give a fuck about dog. Yeah. Go back to TV bitch. Fish. Fish tanks. You don't give a fuck about dogs. Go back to TV, bitch. He tells him. Fish. Fish tanks. He bites the fish. It's a big, you go in your house, there's a big bite out of a fish. Oh, no.

What's a fish name? Fishy. Flopper. I don't know. Flippers. Flippers. Flappers. Another thing, too, is he pisses in your sink for sure.

Oh, yeah. That's how you know. That's funny. You come home and all the science at the shop has been there and gadooshed your dad. he pisses in your sink for sure. Oh, yeah. That's how you know. That's funny. You come home and all the science that shop has been there and gadouche your dad. There's pee in your sink. Hot Cheetos everywhere. Chili on. Chili on.

A lot of Mexican food dishes eaten. Let's see here. This one's posted by BGL's Little Feet. It's called This Guy's Natural Reaction to Thick Boy Studios. So I don't know if you've seen this, but it is quite funny. Cool. First of all, his,

his get up is hilarious. This is, he just looks. It's a gander looking around. That's the face. That's where he's looking at the piss in the sink. He's like, nope,

I'm leaving. I'm good. It's one of those slow turns where you don't want to be in the room anymore. Little bit of a optimistic smile. Here he's open. Yeah. Nah, he's not.

Somewhere right here, something bad happened. Yeah. Yeah. He sees Cal and try and joke. Yeah. Which is the same face you'd make when you smell a bad fart. I wish they had the video of this online. I would watch that in and joke. Yeah. Which is the same face you'd make when you smell a bad fart. I wish they had the video of this online.

I would watch that in a heartbeat. Yeah. Shout out to my internet for not fucking up so far. Oh, the internet's fucking up. Trust me. But we'll get to that later. Okay. This one's called me walking into Chang's for the first time two years ago

because Reddit suggested a post to me posted by Team Weed420. It's that guy's face. Yeah, you always want to be careful. Dude, we would never do that if we were invited to Thick Boy. That would be the best day of our lives. Cheesing. We could learn so much. Yeah.

Especially about production, daddy. This one's called Interrupt Chin's Birthday Song to Tell a Joke Five Times That Never Lands. Uh-oh. So pretty dicey dicey. It's called interrupt chin's birthday song to tell a joke five times that never lands. So pretty dicey dicey. I forgot to mention the users jr999977. Let's see here. She brought seaweed.

Is that cake racist? That's a good cake. Let's play the game. Is that racist? I mean, just just for the listeners. Hey, my son. Thank you, Snob. Happy birthday, Chin. Chin, what is that?

I like playing the game call. Is it racist? And fish. Everyone else, you get brownies. That is a cake made out of seaweed and canned fish. That's exactly what I love, though. So thank you, Snob. You're welcome.

Happy birthday. I had to get you a cake of things you like. Where do you get those at? Is it a Korean market? No. Okay, I was hoping he didn't do it five times. He didn't do it five times. He did it three times.

Three times? Yeah. I think the poster is probably exaggerating a little bit for comedic effect. Yes. Yeah. That's Alpha Hawk rule 55, dude. Fuck, I fucked that up. Is that cake freaking, what's that Korean place?

Like Korean barbecue Korean or Seoul Korean? That's what Shab's like trying bits. Is that cake in Baja mode with racism? Shab in that clip is definitely in Baja mode. There's no traction control. If traction control if traction control was on during that he would just sing happy birthday to his producer but no he's in bahama no he's halfway over that fucking sand dune flipping over uh one thing about being a comedian

is that when you try to do a joke and people talk in the middle of it you don't try to do that joke again dude you just like live with the fact that it'll never be said. Yeah, you got to learn, dude. If it bombs, it bombs. Yep, only 250. Let's see here. This one's called MK is Back, posted by SXE Anth. Let's see this, dude. We missed these guys here. Luke, you've heard that famous phrase, nothing a double-leg couldn't figure out.

Here go the skits and fuckers. I was waiting. I was like, when MK comes back, how long before the Reddit skits and bits I was waiting I was like when MK comes back how long before the reddit skits and bits get going didn't take long that's not fair at all we love to see it dude the king the CEO

alright this one's very funny this one's posted by automatic mortgage 79 why is every comic on every pod like this, B? It's comedian's job in reality. What comedians think their job is. Oh, really, dude?

I don't know if you're ready for this jump scare. Do you want to say anything? Go for it. No, no, no, no. That's all I want to do is, oh, really, dude? Oh, okay. Well, look at this jump scare right here, dude. Hell yeah, daddy. Oh, fuck. What do you think about this? Baja here, dude. Hell yeah, daddy. Oh, fuck. What do you think about this? Baja mode, dude.

100%. I don't mind this, dude. This is what comedy is. What I don't like is that that stool has a back to it, dude. You know what I mean? Yeah, dude. What are you, huh? Yeah.

That's why it's not... Yeah, it's kind of preventing him from doing the act out of the Kardashians. You can see that on the Patreon. We watched him do his like Kardashians turn Caitlyn Jenner into a woman. Trigger. Yeah. That's what the name of the special is. I think when it comes to what we're watching on screen here,

I feel like we can get a lot done meditation wise. If we just stared at this as people that are aspiring to be one of the thousand. We could just stare at this and then for 15 minutes walk away and be like, what did we get from that? You think you'd have like an epiphany if you watch it long enough? Oh, yeah, dude.

A comedy awakening? Yeah. I think, I started talking in the Emir Rahman thing, I think a country that allows a stand-up special, they have a closer that's 10 minutes long about the Kardashians and Bruce Jenner and Caitlyn Jenner is not a good special.

It's not a country to support. And so let's look at the last meme here. Comedians' job in reality and what they think their job is. Great post, never seen it. Yeah. What do you think a comedian's job is. Great post. Never seen it. Yeah. What do you think a comedian's job is? To make the audience laugh. Oh.

I'm wrong? Yeah, dude. It's the hardest job. Right. I don't know if you know that. How many people can do it? Not many. Not many.

Is there maybe a number? Eight inches, daddy. Let's see here. All right. You got to sling dick if you want to be a comedian long story short this one is posted by money loan 1864 it's called papa keeps interrupting eric's public grieving oh with the flare what are we doing here and i hope all is well with eric's mom let's see here but can i say something real quick i just want to thank everybody for the nice messages i got about my mom and that kind of stuff. I say this all the time. There are a lot of good people that watch the show.

There's more good than bad. There's more good than bad, and I appreciate all of the good comments. How did they know about your mama? Because I've been talking about it all my life. Oh, you have? People have been giving me messages. I didn't even know something. Everything's all right? Yeah,? Because it's just I've been talking about it all my life. Oh, you have? People have been giving me messages. I didn't even know something. Everything's all right?

Yeah, no, it's not all right. Everything's not all right. I'm sorry, man. Yeah, it's like, you know, it is what it is. You know what I mean? But you think you're prepared, and then it hits you in the face, and then you have to, like, you know, emotionally deal with it. There's no way to be prepared.

Yeah, my mom's in hospice right now at any time, so it's frustrating. But anyways, people, I want to thank everybody, all the good people. There is. You know what I'm saying? A ton of good people. You know what I mean? I realize that they just don't want to get involved with all the negativity. It really makes me realize, ah, I'm not going to worry about the negativity anymore

and feel so sorry for these people that just do negative stuff. The most good people. Yeah, you're doing a disservice. The majority of your fans are positive. Right, right, right. So when you only harp on the negative, yeah, you're doing a disservice. The majority of your fans are positive. Right, right, right.

So when you only harp on the negative, those people that are down for it are like, dude, what the hell? I know. But anyway, so I thank you for that well that is tough sorry shab like i want let me ask you a question go for it so you know let's say something bad some sad is happening like that um do you go to shop first because you know how sometimes you'll like something really tragic happens and you go to people that care about you there are like a little bit like

oh can I do anything I love you and all that and it's nice and that's good but you maybe it maybe can sometimes make you feel even more sad you go to someone like shop where you know you start talking about it and he's like oh wait wait wait like interrupt you as you're saying things and be like

uh oh yeah that's that sucks when your dad dies that sucks because like dads are usually pretty good you you liked your dad you're like yeah what do you do can it be reassuring is what i'm asking uh i think shop is one of those people where you, you go to me like, Oh yeah, sorry. I haven't been in contact with the shop. Um, my fucking, my brother passed away. And then he goes, Oh dude,

what dude? Oh, you're, Oh dude, if you need anything, just call me dude. And then you're like, Oh,

that's, that feels good. Right? It feels good. The first impression of him finding out. And then let's say three days down the line, it's getting too much to handle. And you're like, Oh, shop did say to call him if I needed anyone to talk to. And you call shop and

he's like, what's up? And you're like, dude, I just was, you know, I just wanted to talk. He's like, Oh dude, I'm pitching right now. I'm fucking teaching T-ball right now, dude. What's up? I got to go to the fucking shop by four o'clock do you is this important what do you all right oh really dude you're gonna call me in the middle of fucking t-ball practice and you hear in the background it's not t-ball it's like the sound of a truck doing donuts it's the sound of water hitting the sink are you peeing no what i'm breaking up yeah yeah i feel like shop strikes me as that and then later he'd be like, oh, dude, I'm sorry about that. I was so busy.

And then he just starts talking about how busy he is all the time. He would say that, but then you watch the show, and there's a clip of him being like, you know, I'm not going to name any names, but these people that call you because, like, they're fucking something that happened in their family. It's like, I have a family too. I can't be everything to everyone. I do 12 podcasts. I have a favorite too, can't be everything to everyone i do 12 podcasts

i have a favorite too right it doesn't fill itself i gotta drink out of it that's that shit dude that's what he does uh but you know uh good luck to eric that sucks yeah sorry to hear about that eric uh this one's posted by boppa bink it's called shop trying to spin another narrative about his comedy work ethic this one we've seen it before it's just Shopabink. It's called Shop Trying to Spin Another Narrative About His Comedy Work Ethnic. This one, we've seen it before. It's just so egregious. How would shop say egregious? Atrocious.

Egregious. Egregious. It's so egregious. Egregious. It's so egregious. I even told Emily this at the store. You got to humble yourself. I told Emily, I said, I know I'm headlining, selling out shows.

I'll work the fucking potluck, Emily. I'll come there. I'll work the door. I don't give a fuck what it takes for you to give me stage time at OR. I don't give a fuck, man. I'll do the trash, whatever you want, man. Whatever it takes, you let me know. Let me know.

I'll do it. I'll fucking scrub the floors for five minutes in the fucking OR at potluck. I don't care. It's so insulting to do our guys but yeah i wanted to ask you like what are other things he could have said like obviously emily's not responding to any of these things because he just keeps talking she's just like it'll end eventually he'll just stop talking eventually and you're like thank you and then she'll walk away but what are other things shop left out that he said yeah so he would since he doesn't really understand how comedy works he might say something like i mean i'll feature i'll do 25 minutes if i

have to it doesn't need to be an hour i'll like run the day-to-day of the club i'll pick who goes on i can do like the scheduling i'll put i can bring other people's favorite shoes i'll fill up all the shoes that people want to drink. I'll be handing out my shoes. I'll bring Tiger Thick because a lot of people like whiskey. So I bring my whiskey in when people are getting right or laughing a lot

because my friends, I'm friends with Joe Rogan. Okay. I will ask women to walk me to their truck. I'll ask everyone. I'll ask guys. I'll be gay.

I'll be gay with dudes. He's thinking she's going to laugh when he's he's like hey she's a straight thing and he's like women don't get comedy i'm gonna go talk to jeff die listen i'll clean the sink people piss in there right oh dude oh we should oh i'll give you fight campaigns comedy store fight campaigns oh i'll get jelly roll to perform he doesn't even do stand-up i'll get jelly roll let me call him right now jelly roll i'm here with emily i told her i'll clean the trash uh i'll wipe the i'll clean the vomit i'll clean the vomit jelly roll clean it help me that that jelly roll does yeah i'll clean up jelly rolls vomit i mean his

his brother meat packers down to come through too I like the idea of jelly roll vomits like a cat you know how cats just vomit all the time you go around and you say oh shit jelly roll vomited on the floor again I don't know he probably ate something bad

he eats a lot so some of it is going to be bad when I do jokes like that I'm just like why the fat joke not necessary i'm sorry i love it dude i'm sorry he's he's weird and make fun of us for so many things outside of the fact that he is a giant man huge man this one's posted by a chin second balconycony. It's called an additional mention of Leto proximity jealousy. See, it's very short.

Yeah, no pressure. You're supposed to lose. Leto right next to Theo? God, I'm jealous. No. Who's next to Theo? Jared Leto. Is that the guy with the dreamy eyes?

Yeah, dude. And he's 50. 50. He's 50. And I's 50. 50. He's 50. And I'm gay. I mean, what? Honestly, who cares? Jared Leto.

So? Yeah. There's many people I'd rather sit next to. There's probably, I would have rather sat next to Chris Pratt. Way cooler. Yeah. I mean, Jared Leto's fine, but what's a thing that you're like, oh man, I love Jared Leto in...

I can't think of a single thing. Morbius, doc. Come on. Morbius. Get the fuck off the show. That's it. Walk home. Dude, no. I'll clean the floors, dude. I'll stay in the hostage room, daddy.

Alright, I'll stop. I'll stop talking. Alright, you're on fire all right you're gonna clean the floors you stop you had me to clean the floors this place is dirty i'll take the trash dude i haven't taken the trash out in three years i'll eat it okay i'll stop i'll stop uh yeah dude i don't know uh you wouldn't want to meet jared leto i would yeah i'm fucking... I was joking around once with some other people that I get starstruck from people in road rules. And they made fun of me for that. But it's true.

Celebrities, I'm fucking... That's one thing that's blockbuster about me. Quack, quack, dude. All right, let's go to this next one, dude. This is from Friendly geordie's youtube channel shout out to friendly geordie's it's a great youtube channel it's australian oh yeah you told me about that yeah yeah never heard of it uh it's posted by galix ands it's uh papa catches some strays from jordan shanks let's see here when the usa was bombing cambodia harder than

brindan schwab bombed in his recent comedy special. Right now in Gaza, where is... Goddamn. Unnecessary stray. Everybody has to say something. Yeah, dude. A guy with friendly in his name is gadushing you. Yeah, so that was a great little clip there. Not too friendly there, mate. Seven days a week, seven days a head.

For this next clip, we've been clued into the process of a favorite chef of ours, right? What did Haphazard tell us? The first five minutes. The first five minutes of a show, dude. Yeah. So this is Haphazard with his artistry yet again.

It's called Masterclass on How to Make Any Sane Person Turn Off a Podcast. And as you can see, it is the intro. Yeah. Brandon! Thick boy! Thick boy. Shaw!

Thick boy. Hell yeah, I'm ready, Chin. It is Monday morning, April 15th. Your boy worked out at 5 a.m. I got energy. I was excited to get here because it's UFC 300 recap. Theory. It's UFC theory.

What classes are you taking this semester? UFC theory 300. Got a great, I got in there. Great slot. UFC theory 100. Trumpet. Half of them it's like like a re like a partial uh remixing of the monopoly monopoly the fucking mortal kombat song yeah dude that's that's that he just knocked somebody out three c's fucking celebration right there dude a close c clamp yep c clamp closed down three of them up

you know i'm saying yeah uh it's nine o'clock we'll see how long i can keep this face up at i'm gonna crash hard about an hour when we're doing finally killed jail sonin your boy's gonna crash just kidding psych uh yeah dude let's just get into it that's why you are all here did i go to the movies yesterday and see godzilla with my son i did did he wear godzilla mask the whole time and sweat his ass off he did and he's four it was insane i can't believe he did it but he did kevin nealon has such a funny joke about that uh mass people answering their own questions like am i having fun right now yeah yeah i am is this building huge it is quite big yeah like they just start talking to themselves do i have to go to the restroom yeah in the sink

i think that's so funny dude man am i finally picking up my trx from Magnuson today? I am. Five weeks later. That's the car business. But I'm excited, dude. So let's just jump right into this thing. It's UFC 300 recap, and this thing is going to get freaking spicy on your ass. That's right. Like a Taco Bell burrito, I'm coming out of your ass hot, baby. And listen, listen.

I guess what he's saying is proms, like Magnuson took too long. He's kind of gadooshing them. And then his son sweated at the theater. But he can't let, just because he's picking up the car that he bought and his son was annoying at the movie theaters doesn't mean he can't do a great pot. No. Is that what he's saying? Dude, listen.

He just goes, dude. Right. You think he's going to be on all the time? I guess so. Yeah, dude. He's got fucking four reigns in him, next to him, around him, at all times. There's so much rain in the studio right now. I don't know if you can see.

That's like, I think, a record amount of rain. There's five, six, seven, eight, nine. I don't even know what the fuck that thing is right here on the corner. What is this? Yeah, I'm interested in that. I don't know what it is though. Dude, he's juiced up, daddy. Boner alert.

I've never noticed a truck behind him before. The red truck that's kind of like the lemon. Is that the lightning? The lightning. I don't know if that's a truck. Oh yeah, it is, huh? The lightning.

I think so. I think that might be a lightning and then, I don't know if the Mint 400 is new or not. They got it after he raced in it or whatever in the bug. Yeah,

dude. He's got the demon clock behind him, dude. How can you not be amped up in the studio, dude? You walk in there,

you're just like, you know that even if you were to get tired, which almost seems impossible in a place that's so electrifying like this, you could just fucking grab one of these bad boys. Rain. Yep. Drink this every day. But yeah, dude, anyways, that was electrifying. Honestly, I know that this painted narrative of how to make any sane person

turn off a podcast i'm insane dude because i would listen yeah yeah no hap knows we're insane he's a little bit of afraid of us ever heard of it oh i'll stop sending you dms hap all right so let's see here this one's posted by chin's second balcony called Brand Flakes says his Demon 170 would beat a Tesla Plaid in a race. What do you think about the name Brand Flakes? Brand Flakes? That's funny. Yeah. Brand Flakes.

Why Flakes though? Because he's old, I guess. I don't know where he flakes on shit. I have no idea. I don't know. There's probably a reason that we don't know. Yeah. It's just for whatever reason it makes sense in my head.

Yeah. Yeah, it speaks to you, huh? Oh, wait. Bran Flakes is Brendan. Brendan, yeah. I was thinking it was Brian for a minute. My brain malfunctioned. Oh.

But Bran Flakes, I don't know why. If there's a reason, if there is no reason, yeah, cool. Bran Flakes makes sense, dude. Yeah. Because if it's him it was brandon he's flaking on touring and all that is that why probably not why yeah probably not but leave a comment below if there's a reason i don't know why his shirt there i'm pretty sure that's the hat yeah it is right great job fuck you be cool gerardo, can I tell you a really funny aside really quick?

Yeah. So my mom went through my fucking closet. I did not ask her to do this, right? She went through my closet and she separated all my clothes. I don't like that, right? But I lost a lot of weight, so I have a lot of fat clothing. Okay, good for you. Well, no, that's not what I'm looking for.

I'm going to give you your fucking flowers. On this show, you're rewarded for success. I went from jelly roll to skinny roll, apparently, dude. Fat joke. Got it. Got it. Check off that. Anyways, what I'm trying to say here is that she put all my fucking Thick Boy merch to

the very far back, like the furthest away from wearable clothes. That's why I haven't been able to find any whenever we shoot. Oh, well, you know, it's kind of a hawk move to move away clothes like that she's like it's the right size but oh it says dick boy he's not big like that no more he's like two c's homie that's why that's why let's see here so my my two trucks are in the shop my buddy bert was like i got a loaner for you i know you only mess with cars over a thousand horsepower uh he was i know you hate teslas but i want you to take this for to your trucks done and just give me your real opinion on it i was like ah even then i'm like he's like he's like it's not your normal tesla plaid they're badass already like i've hooked this thing up as much

as you can with a tesla he's like so you won't look so gay in it oh really dude is that now your first initial initial reaction like damn this thing's fast This thing is fast This thing can go Faster than any car you've ever been in No no no My Dodge Demon will beat it And I'm actually going to race it That's adorable

Oh I promise you it will Your Dodge Demon would get crushed by it No no What are you talking about I'd rather you talk to me about fish than cars A plaid Oh no Your Dodge Demon can't do shit against that plaid

Yeah it can Off the line First of all that thing is Beating you off the line No no no I mean What do you mean no Do we have to do this Your Dodge Demon's is beating you off the line no i mean what do you mean no do we have to do your dodge demons not beating do we have to do was it 1200 horsepower yeah

it's tuned no yeah no and and people have already beat it i wish you weren't doing this to yourself a plaid you're talking about devin haney and ryan garcia break down that for me instead of this the plaid is sick no i know it's sick for you. Sorry, boys. Sorry, boys. I can't think of something more boring than people being like, well, this car's faster than that car. Dude. Like, I understand a lot of our fans,

maybe a lot of people in the world enjoy fast cars and stuff, and they like driving fast. They like watching it. They like fast cars. They like fast cars. But that shit's boring as fuck to me yeah i don't if you're a real car guy which i don't know if either of these guys are that makes like a that makes sense for a conversation you can have not on a podcast

maybe if you have a car podcast save this for truck diaries like if i see like an instagram reel of like a car beating another car i'm not like what the fuck i didn't think the black could beat the demon you know what i mean but if i see a fucking reel of a duck fighting a hawk dude and i'm then the duck wins that fucking blow that makes my day yeah we did see something like that that's what i'm saying that was a crazy it's a current reference the what i was thinking during that clip before they got into the blog bus argument about who's car faster who's car faster

does Brian have a plaid I didn't even know Tesla plaid was a thing I thought it was a shirt merch I thought they were talking about merch that they're selling dude they're selling Tesla merch now because they're so huge that they do that

Brendan was saying what the guy from the truck company told him dude they're selling tesla merch now because they're so huge that they do that yeah um that brendan was saying what the guy from the truck company told him i wouldn't want to be a guy dealing with brendan because i'd be worried about brendan would say what i said to him right like even if i did say that i wouldn't want him to go on air and be like he said that it was gay but in but i knowing brendan i know he's just going to make shit up. So I'm going to be like, here's your truck. It's fast or whatever. We really worked hard on this.

And he's going to be like, he's going to leave there and go on his plot. I'm like, Brendan at Overkill said that my truck is not for fucking soy boys, right? Strap the fuck in. This is Netflix. D'Elia's innocent. And have a good day. I'm like like what the fuck why did he say

any of those things man why do I deal with this guy again and again he always gadooshes me that's why dude Emily at the comedy store 4D chess daddy

yeah cause he was like saying he's gonna do all these things but she was just like yeah she said nothing zip she's smart she's a business woman

never heard of it oh my god I gotta leave that's what she said yep she had a fucking witness there probably Zip, she's smart. She's a businesswoman. Never heard of it. Oh my god, I gotta leave. That's what she said. She had a fucking witness there, probably. We already touched on this, but this one's posted by TechnicalGap4581. UFC 300 recap.

But it's a long post. Let's see. UFC 300 recap. Like a Taco Bell burrito. I'm coming out of your ass hot baby i started running around the goddamn studio i started playing duck duck goose like it was third grade and had a crush on mrs family laro and i was playing duck duck goose you've seen a lot of reactions this one's pretty good if you haven't seen the full fight Companion, it's available right now on ThinkBoy YouTube. Right now.

It's a good one. It's a fun one. What Max Holloway did. Called it. What Max Holloway did. Called it. What Max. Called it.

What's crazy about this fight. Called it. What's crazy about this fucking fight is there's never been a card with more champions, more stupid stars good dears dude he said no more no stupid stars yeah pretty good i have no way a better way of saying it it's like his body caught that he said something wrong so his body's like whoa i didn't mean that you know well sometimes your hands i, try and fix what you're saying.

Like if you say it wrong, you think your hands are going to help explain it to people. I mean, I know I do that. He's not alone. And then what Alex and Jamal Hill called it. Alex and Jamal called it. He's so mad. You're telling me that your wiener wouldn't go what we're talking about

take my fucking hard-earned money i'll take that i will take that he's a gay man he's a fully gay man when you watch his special he's like what dylan dennis isn't great don't know you have a better chance of seeing fucking four shooting stars in one fucking night that's how rare this is I think shooting stars are rare he caught himself

me and my son's going to the hot tub every night and they always ask for a shooting star I think there's only been I think there's what shooting star i think there's only i think there's what i feel like doing this shot yeah the fucking schultz thing i'm just like fucking slapping he's like a prevented me from naturally doing that if this studio was bigger i would run around and put my hand on my ass yeah that that's our fucking max holloway knockdown moment me and my boys go in the hot tub every night and they wish for a shooting star.

It's kind of nice, honestly, but it's just such a random. Every night? I'm not sure if you go in... Every night. Every night you go in the hot tub with your dad? A little weird, you know? Okay, pause.

I mean, hot tubs are great. If you have them, that's awesome. I don't know if it's an every night thing. It's probably not healthy. Man, if somebody had a lot of time on their hands, they can like map out shop schedule with all the stuff he says he does. Yeah.

And that'd be Netflix, dude. It'd be funny if he had, you know, Wahlberg is famous for having the schedule where it's like 5 a.m., 6 a.m. Yeah. He's got that, but one of them is like hot tub with sons. Shooting star. Search for shooting star at 7 to 9.

I like shooting stars when I was a kid. I still like, but I mean, I loved him when I was a kid and I would always want them to happen, but it's such a funny idea. You're, you're, you're idiot father.

You're getting in the hot tub with them and you're like, dad shooting started. And I was like, yeah, I got it. Got it. He tries to turn it on. He has like a remote coming right up.

I think there's only been, I think there's ever in the ufc's 2500 fighters 2500 yeah there's only a 2500 can do it 2500 in the world six billion people in the history there's been 2500 let's take another little break keep the lights on and feed the boys feed the birds the mindset the mindset elite that's what you want the mindset freaking elite it has a gold label on it the mind the regular mindset it's good mindset elite you want to talk about nootropics feed the hogs feed the hogs dude and get back to me the ducks motherfucker can't wrestle well i'll just play this is anybody in here betting on max holloway no the fuck called it

he called her like the C word, you know. A crook? Huh? He called her a crook? No. A different C word? Four letter C word. What's it rhyme with?

Bunt. Hunt. Okay. Me and my son's go in the hot tub every night. Oh, that was a great recap. Good stuff. It's so funny a great recap. Good stuff. It's so funny when those kind of clips happen,

there's not really much we could say. No, yeah. They kind of said it all. Yeah. I had a bit in the beginning where I was, but it wasn't going to be serious. I was just going to make fun of Shab.

I forget what it was just about how like he makes sense what he's saying, but I forget what the bit, the underlying bit was. Honestly, he was on a honestly he was on a he was on a different level that one we weren't prepared for that dude no he came with energy

on a monday chris energy yeah and we came like a couple ducks just quacking away looking for some flies and he out hawked us there dude well he's. And first of all, you know he's a black belt in podcasting. But second of all, you know how Rogan does the ice bath and the sauna and all that stuff? Every night. Every night. Shab does a hot tub. So he's like, it's the same thing as being in the sauna, Dady. He's ready, dude.

His mind, he's got nicotine, sauna. I mean, not sauna, hot tub, suns, shooting star. I mean, imagine you see a shooting star every night. You're going to be pretty creative. A lot of cognitive benefits to shooting stars, dude. Yeah. The most. You don't just watch shooting stars for the folks of it.

This is something that we were watching off air. It's posted by all damn day seven. The fight hasn't happened yet because we recorded these on Saturdays. Yeah. so i'm excited to see what happens tonight it's called every ever since ryan garcia appeared on kyle bass's fight companion he ain't been the same this is the funniest thing of all time loris thank you jesus thank you jesus thank you jesus thank you jesus thank you jesus thank you j you, Jesus. Thank you, Jesus. I'll be my dick in your mouth, bitch. Ryan.

We apologize for bad language. They knew it was coming. I like how they had the we apologize for bad language caption ready. Yeah. Even though he was saying, thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Jesus. They're like, oh, get it ready. Get it ready.

Yeah. Well, days in sports, if they're known for anything, it's the professional. Yeah. Even though he was saying, thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Jesus. They're like, oh, get it ready. Get it ready. Yeah. Well, days in sports, if they're known for anything, it's the professional. Yeah. Professionality. Oh, the most professional dude. Um, this one's pretty hilarious. This is from a long time ago. It's posted by money seven. I'm it's called the or money time. Remember, I don't know. People could do me for saying their names wrong, but, uh, I don't read the comments. Game set match. R.I.P. Grams. It's funeral fit time.

Oh, yeah. Do you remember this? My girl's grandma died. I pumped her full of CBD. Not sure if that helped. There's no, you know, research to prove that that helps, but I like to think it helped out a little game set match. Yeah.

Grim Reaper came knocking on the door in Chicago. Oh, my God. Dearest Mexican, I write you from the Thick Boy Studios. I was so sorry to hear today that my CBD pills that I've been giving your grandmother did not work, and she succumbed.

And earlier this morning, the Grim Reba came a knocking. I'm now going to take a sip from my large Starbucks pink drink. Game, set, match. Hope everybody's all right at home. Crop out the uglies. Goodbye. What else you got, Jitten? What else you got, Jitten?

That was pretty creative by Money whatever. Yeah, I don't know how to say that. Money 7-9? Money sign. Money sign? Maybe. Pretty creative by Money sign to put in the Civil War thing. All right, let's see here. Oh, by the way, I missed that. Was it Levon? What is his name?

That guy that was making the Civil War series. Oh, yeah, Levon. What about him? Remember the Civil War series? Yeah, that was making them civil war series. Oh yeah. Leave on. What about him? Remember the civil war series? Yeah. I would like to see it back. Yeah. Great guy.

I'd never met him. Resurgence. Ever heard of it? Uh, let's see. This one's called Brendan explains how a good PR team can help you not look like a cug. Um,

one of these clips might be the last one because the internet did get gadooshed eventually. Okay. It's called, uh, or as opposed to by, Hey, Mark Wicksky. Let's see here what what do you feel about zuckerberg watching all

this stuff i think it's a pr move because he was what are you talking about he was like jiu-jitsu it's not it looks like you i think his pr team was like listen dude everyone's making fun of you you gotta do something that is more male. Come on. Good. Finished the whole thing about a mile out. Flat tire and clutch issue. Same platform that fucking took money from the White House. They would suppress things. So you don't think he has a PR team to go, dude.

Don't know what any of that gibberish meant, to be totally honest with you. I didn't understand a word of it. Well, he's explaining how a PR team can help you not look like a cuck, and it's working because he went on Fox. How many times have you been on Fox News? Zero, D. There you go. So

who you got in your corner, B? That's true. How many trucks you flipping, D? How many Volkswagens did I drive and didn't finish the race? How'd that go, Brandon? How many cowboys are you surrounding? You know what I mean? Think about that. None, none, none.

I know the answer. Okay, so this one's posted by MinimumSky2305. It's called Boppa Laughing. Let's see here. It's June 1st. To fight Mokachev. Mokachev. That makes sense. That makes sense. Which part? Turningst. To fight Makhachev. Makhachev.

That makes sense. That makes sense. Which part? Turning it down or not? Turning it down. You don't think so? Oh. Why is that? I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.

Hold on. Hold on. I mean, you think I'll take it? Hey, Dad, can we have shooting stars tonight? Huge, long, fake laugh and then commenting on how funny it was. That's crazy. That's, he secured the bag right there, dude. Right.

So, yeah, you didn't even, you didn't see anything weird about it. You just thought, oh, he's laughing really hard. be funny oh another fire episode that's what i thought dude right and that's what the thick boy fans think they're like holy shit that was so funny they're not laughing either but they're like wow we haven't had a great time like that in a long time right that was good that more of that, please. I'll have what they're having. Sign me up, deity. That's so funny.

Why do you never watch the UFC? No, I'm going to tell you why. He's a great actor. Hey, Brendan. Haven't laughed that hard in a long time thank you dude he's doing like a jim carrey bit it's so fun for me i feel like he doesn't want to do a repeat oh of a boring fight oh thank you for that you gave me the gift that just wait you think you think stop it you think that's a rookie and stop

it should have taken the title fight oh oh this is good uh yeah well let me educate you now grain merch though yep another version of the shirt with this, this might be the new fucking Kibb attack. We got to figure out what this fucking thing is. I smell another sticker coming. I like rip it off and put it in there. That'd be so funny if I already had it. I slap it there. What do you think of that?

Put that in your pipe and smoke it cats. She got a great ass. All right. Well, Al Pacino made an appearance. This one's posted by Haphazard. It's called Clapping Them Projections of Insecurity. Let's see.

For my birthday. Jefferson had sex with his slaves, right? Yeah. There you go. He's racist. Still racist. Yeah. But he was hitting it.

He was clapping them cheeks. You fucked up cheeks. Did I? Yeah, he said cleaps. cleaps did i yeah i don't think so i don't think i did tape clapping them cheeks i think slow-mo i don't think i did say that dude you did do whatever i think do we investigate dude sure fine let's do it i don't care but, but still. Who's slapping them cheeps? She said cheeps. Cheeps?

Brendan or Chris D'Elia said cheeps right now, dude. Brendan said it. Brendan said it, dude. Who's slapping them cheeps? It does kind of sound like he's saying cheeps. But, you know, it's awful either way. It's a Schultz thing. I'll tell you what, dude.

The Grim Reaper came in-knobbing dude And Game Set Match Chris Lee has CTE dude He has it too Let me tell you something About Thomas Jefferson bro

He was getting it in dude He was gay as shit Brother Bro If they had TikTok back then He would look at his shit Who you think We following him bro

Like a lot of Fucking hoes bro Cause they had no choice bro but look at this shit. Who you think we following him, bro? Like a lot of fucking hoes, bro. Because they had no choice, bro. All right. Yeah, this is now time for the next one. This one's every chin changes the channel when T-Fat K is on. Posted by Chin's second balcony.

I don't know what that, what does that mean? Even chin, not every. I read every, huh? Every Chin channels. Only a thousand can produce, dude. Let's see here. The Hall of Famers here.

Oh my God. Hall of Famer, bring him up. It's just an honor. I get to, I get to speak to a Hall of Famer. Hey, so I was supposed to hang out with Jay and go gambling, and all of a sudden, what? What do you want to do now? I got to shut it down.

You got to shut it down. It's tiring. You're tired, too. I'm definitely tired. You gotta shut it down. It's tiring. You're tired, too. I'm definitely tired. Bye, Jay. Bye, dude. What the hell? I don't know.

I feel like I just watched a lost episode of Faces of Death. What's Faces of Death? Oh, like that. Remember when we were kids, they showed a bunch of videos of people dying, and we like what the fuck no no oh well bad reference i guess but yeah what is it just like found footage type shit whatever oh like um well like what is that creepy.com or whatever yeah okay okay then i get you um i wanted to start a conversation about, listen, I understand Papa probably has CTE. He definitely has CTE, right? How much of it is just like being dumb though too?

Yeah, he's probably dumb before he got hit in the head. Yeah. I've never seen any clips where I'm like, he was smart back then. So yeah, you're right. But I don't know how percentage wise what it is. We also got Mr. J acts in here, right? Yeah. Not the chocolatiest cookie acts in here, right? Yeah. Not the chocolatiest cookie in the jar, if you know what I'm saying, right?

You think he's also dumb? Without saying it like that, yeah. He's got a dumb face, for sure. The expression on his face looks like he's dumb. But I haven't really seen a lot of J talk. Most of the time, the clips that I've seen, and granted, you know how much I pay attention. It's about 60% I get of what

comes out. Eight inches. Eight inches, exactly. But he doesn't really say, as far as what I've seen, he doesn't really say stupid things. He just looks stupid, so I don't actually know if he's stupid. Yeah. But how many chicks do you fuck? I always ask that question. Any job that you start, when you start started, your boss is going to be like,

let me ask you a question. How many chicks do you fuck? Because it's all about what you can bring to the table. Exactly. It doesn't necessarily mean literally how many women do you have sex with. Yeah. It's like, how many chicks do you fuck and put that in any job? Yeah.

Fucking, you're a lawyer. How many cases do you start? You're a fucking fired fighter. How many cases do you start you're fucking fired fighter how many fires do you stop right that's how uh that's how leg starts every job interview he's like listen we start we work in an unsafe environment okay i want you to know that how many chicks do you fuck and that's the next question yeah yeah and it's okay even though that violates laws in California, sexual harassment stuff. The courts know where Legs is coming from.

They know what he really means in the subtext. And also, all that was alleged. I don't have any inside scoop on that. I didn't apply. I swear to God. This one's posted by Chin. Do you know what happened, though?

Real quick. Do you know what happened if Legs asked me how many chicks do I fuck? I'd be in there like Good Will Hunting fucking trying to figure it out. Because I slaying dick. I fuck? I'd be in there like Good Will Hunting fucking trying to figure it out.

Because I slaying dick. I fuck so many chicks, I need a quadratic formula, bro. Come on, though. Not at all. This one's posted by Chin Second Balcony. It's called Things Really Heat Up When Bean Dip Goes to Urinate in the Community Kitchen. Flair is Tickets to the Chocolate

Charlie Factory. Boppa Has to stare Rinks back to fight talk at the end. Steer I think. Not stare, but here. Remember when him and Elon were supposed to fight? I was never going to. I don't think I thought that. You know what? It's so much bigger than Zuckerberg.

Yeah, but whatever. I wanted to see it. Come on. It was never going to gonna happen two billionaires yeah who's richer uh I think Zuck just have my henchmen get him oh yeah Brian says a lot of wrong stuff oh man oh now that Brendan's gone we can uh now that Brendan's gone we could say no no no hey wait hold on one second oh dude now that Brendan's gone we can say no no no hey wait hold on one second oh dude now that Brennan's gone we can make this show ours

dude so anyway Chattanooga we have nothing to talk about Chattanooga you're into jewelry and cars look at you yeah

fucking ridiculous I mean I'm kind of into it why don't you relax any takeaways so far? I mean they need Brennan to be a good show yeah that's crystal clear i lost where i was for a second there i know oh it's all we're also in the zone you know there's waves in the show yes like we go in and out a little bit at least i do i'm singing for both of us here

i'm really just talking myself but yeah like i i lost it a little bit there i'm not gonna lie to you i'm not gonna fucking sugarcoat your penis and suck it or whatever he says. What does he say? You were pretty close right there. I was pretty close. Yeah. I walked in there. I said, I'm pretty close. But yeah, I mean, they need Brennan. Period T. He's definitely he's the point

guard shooting them dimes. Right. You know what I mean? That's it. See, Max is going to fight. Is this the last fight? Max is going to fight. Here we go. Is this the last fight? This is the last round. But there's another fight after?

Yes. Two or one more after? I'll leave after this one. Two more? I have to. You have to be at the last fight. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Forum.

You're going to come do the April 19th and 20th at the Irvine Improv? Are you going to open for me? No, I don't know. I might come and do a guest spot. All right. We'll see. If I'm in town. Am I in town?

Yeah. Okay. Come. Come hang. We'll see. Damn. Got to go to that show. Put that in your calendar, cats.

Do you want to fly to Oklahoma City and open for me? Absolutely not. Okay. I don't know. Up to you. It was quite curious how the sink was when the whole time he was gone. I don't know if you noticed that. Did you notice that?

To drown out the sound of peeing? I think so, dude. Smart. Either that or he's got a faucet on him, if you know what I'm saying, dude. Brennan will pee you up,

B. Crazy we've been to, huh? If you think about it. Yeah. I like that. Here we go. Very cultural.

Yeah. Going to Australia too. Are you are you when that's the uh monday again man you get tickets already though god get out of here sydney yeah different uh perth who are you doing who's promoting it man that's crazy dude did you see max do you think know that stuff? I lost this one. Yeah, I figured Gagey would do it a lot different. I think Gagey was a smart bet, but Max is, again. Max showed up. Yeah. Oh, go back to talking tour dates.

Oh, my God. Why would you ruin the whole clip, man, Miller? We're learning about what they're going to do in Oklahoma City, you fucking duck. Australia, dude. Yeah. Nobody cares about the fight. What is this, the fight

companion? No. Oh, wait. It is. No, this is the tour date companion, dude. Come on, daddy. Tour date companion is just fucking washed up psychos talking about like what ChuckleFucks are going to be at.

Oh my God. ChuckleFucks is a comedy club? Alright, so this... I went Baja mode in that. I'm sorry. I would love to be a psycho talking about my chuckle fucks. So this is a, this is, this is a two part clip thing. They're both one of the same, but they both got heavily liked on Chang's.

So this one's posted by haphazard. The quote is we are laughing, but we're going to watch the longer version, which is posted by who the fuck are we long, but funny. You guys are fucking idiots. Oh yeah. The feeling of having the whole studio laugh at you.

Laughy face emojis. He had to just take it. Let's see here. Sometimes you just got, you can't bank on the teachers and the staff taking care of it. It's him. Rapmobile. I think this is Brendan Shaw.

And he gets out of it. Where's your dad? Where's your dad? Where's your dad? The mask is all torn. Where's your dad? The fucking mask is like, where's your dad where's your dad where's your dad where's your dad

Mr. Shaw I'm not Brendan Shaw prove it I love the idea of Brendan as Batman and like he would give away his secret identity so fast he would have the mask off by accident

and start talking like Batman and they're like oh fuck you're Batman what it says rain energy on the side of his howl or whatever wait a minute Batman has sponsorships now oh my god Howell or whatever. Wait a minute. Batman has sponsorships now?

Oh my god. Where's the rain? Sorry, I was kibbetecking my Batmobile. There's a car that needs to be kibbetecked. Look at the picture. It's a side-by-side. I don't go online. It's Fred the Job.

There's too many haters. Jesus Christ. Oh, shit. Oh, my God. No, it's clearly you. You keep misspelling things and pronouncing things. I feel so bad for Shav, dude, because I've been that person so many times where you kill the joke. They bring it back to life.

I'm gay. That would have been funny, though. It's Brendan Shab. He's gay, dude. Brendan is not a good enough comic to even make fun of himself. Yikes. Every knee. Oh, my God.

Oh, fuck. I don't go online. I have too many. Oh, fuck. That don't go online. I have too many idiots. Oh, fuck. That'll be a good clip. You guys are fucking idiots. Oh, shit, dude.

This little pose right here is so funny, dude. It's like having fun in hell. You just know that you're in hell still. Yeah, well, it's his 10-minute break. By California law, he's allowed 10 minutes every four hours or so just a break from this job it doesn't matter how much you myrtle her on the road you have to take breaks it just says shawb it says fucking shawb your thing. Where's your dad? Where's your dad?

Fuck. Oh, shit, man. You guys are fucking idiots. Good. Good. Good. Made fun of for an hour on my own show. Good.

Is that your takeaway, dude? A little bit. Well, I think the internet got restored here for these last couple clips. So let's see here. We have Mayhem is Mistaken, which Chris is the fourth guest host. Posted by Chin Second Balcony. Let's see here. We're companioning it up.

And it's UFC 300. It's a big deal. Because let's be honest, this card for 300 has been a snooze fest. Let's start with... Let's get everybody here and run it down real quick. Chris will not have to. Chris doesn't know there's a fight coming tonight. Chris Rock is coming here today.

I've had people go, Shobb doesn't write his jokes. There's no way. They come to the show and then marto yeah this guy you know thinks you have someone writing jokes i'm like damn that's a compliment dude they think what do you think chris rock trying him who's writing him chris d'alia oh i know him yeah both very talented gentlemen but uh the prelim i'm a white man i need a tan of top once a week good that there's your answer to your question though earlier are both our questions oh the drink was safety shot hmm promo code thick yeah we gotta think we gotta check it

out safety shot we're pretty lit if you didn't start watching at 3 p.m you're a piece of shit hilarious hilarious this is the part of the show where we're too far down let's see this is uh i did like this clip a lot dude so we have to watch this okay um this is posted by successful capital 217 it's called quote let me see the ufc rankings chin that'd be great and notice that little look of disgust after Chin asks him heavy or light heavy. Why is he such a dickhead? Also, quote, hard-earned money. End quote.

Give me a break. Very funny. Let's see here. A guy in the top 15 who's a striker. Let me see the UFC rankings, Chin. That'd be great. Hold on. So if we go to heavyweight,

heavyweight or heavyweight? There we go. John Jones, not happening. Tom Asplund, not happening. Cyril Ghosn, take my fucking hard-earned money. I think the hard-earned money part's so funny, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's a good thing to add. Take my fucking hard-earned money part's so funny, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a good thing to add. Take my fucking hard-earned money. He's doing one of these. Everything he can do is... Yeah. Oh, this thing. Yeah. Everything he does is funny like that.

Like when he does these over-the-top corny things. It's unironically funny. Right? Take my fucking hard-earned money. She crossed over here. Illegally. And then he's right about the look. I saw the look.

I maybe would have missed it had not the chef pointed it out, but he's like. It's somewhere. Oh, right there. No, you just got it. That's funny. Even just slowly rewinding, you can see it. That's funny.

Right. As you can see, he gets a super pissed and then back to the show baby that's because when you're a black belt in podcasting you expect everything he's like a top you know how like very good chefs they come in and they want everything ready and all that stuff like that's he's expecting more from chin yeah he wants chin to be black belt producer level so he requires that yeah it makes sense the most sense. Let's see here. Okay, we're at the last one. This is kind of a little bit of a cliffhanger. Just shooting my

shot, seeing if anything comes of it next week. Look what we have here on Weigh In Podcast, dude. Posted by Pesho Norway. You see anyone you haven't seen in a long time? Called it! George? George, dude. Look at...

How do you get over to George's face? I want to get a big... George George dude look at oh oh oh how do you get over to George's face I want to get a big there we go dude wow there he is

never met him dude still in the game daddy thank god dude thank him but yeah that's it for the week dude oh shit

alright see you guys later have a great week join our Patreon bye