10 Minutes of Schaub - Brendan Schaub CAN BENCH 315 POUNDS | 10 Minutes of Schaub #145

Episode Date: August 27, 2026

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Funny woman walk me to my truck. Funny woman, I just quit stand up. Funny woman, I'm going to Austin to hell with you. Be there too. Annie woman, forget the ad reads. Funny woman, I just blame the team. Funny woman can be. Here's the devil.

Emoji We'll take And A Back to 10 minutes of shop Thanks for tuning in As always Join the Patreon

Join the Discord This week We did Andrew Shultz's life Right You know You might know him From

He's a big Anti-Vax guy And Very political Very political these days But we watch this Standup Special Watch him

Scoot up the bag With that baby shit Brer Like you know what I'm saying Like he had the baby And shit But it was hard though

I'm saying Bam Big mistake dude. Fast facts. Anyways, that's not where you're here, though. They're here to watch Tim as a shop, so start the timer, play the chain clip. Okay, so for the first thing we got today, it's posted by 8-inch redact. It's called Big Sean with the volume punch.

Why'd you stop fighting? My best friend told me to. Why'd you start standing up? My best friend told me to. Why name your kid after a city you have no connection to? My best friend is from there. Why are you moving halfway across the country? It's where my best friend lives.

damn. Who's he talking about? A little spicy, dude. Yeah. Yeah. It's crazy how you put his friend's business out there like that. Yep. I mean, listen, where's the lie?

Right? Sean is not someone who's going to sugarcoat something for you. He would never put sugar all over your dick until he's delicious. This is not the McCorough of a way. He might do it, but never say it's delicious. You know, he's a zany guy. He's crazy wild. He might do anything.

Every name. Let's see what we go. got next. Please don't beat me up, Sean McCarkwell. This is posted by Roll Matt. It's called Not a Drawl at the Comedy Mothership, looking a little chunky, not going to lie. This looks like me after a Lucky Boy Burrito and

with cowboy boots on. Yeah, I mean, as we said before, I can't wait to see Shab do the, I'm in Austin now. I got cowboy boots. I mean, that's really going to be the bit and then they end the show. There's no way. It's like they're going to do the, cowboy bit, they're still going to get the same numbers. And I don't think there's going to be any

residual, like, returning viewers, they're going to, first time viewers where they're like, oh, I'm not cowboys. Like Jeff Die, they'll go on there and be like, who do you motherfuckers, ain't cowboys? Talking about men on earwaves. I don't know, maybe, but he also, I mean, like, nobody dad at the truck thing when he switched to trucks or the fish thing. He's very good at taking over a bit and doing it well. Right. Right. Like, I mean, Tony, you see him, he, when he had a cowboy suit on. He kind of looked like a cow. Like, he had...

White and black. Yeah. It wasn't a good luck. He doesn't have the build for it, you know? But Shab... A gay cow. That doesn't produce any money. Shab, though, I mean, he's just somebody.

He gets really into stuff. So I'm interested to see that you're doing trucks now, but what is a cowboy? You know, cowboys usually ride horses. Yeah. But maybe, you know, what Chob spin on like two... six-shooter fucking revolvers. Raver, you know, like lassoing. Callan's a pro at getting hit by a leather guy.

Yeah. That's, I mean, I don't know why. The guy's dressed up kind of cowboyish, right? Yeah, you know, he was dressed like a cowboy. So they just do that again. Stack that over a week, you're toast. I pray to God, the first guess they have is Adam Ray. And, you know, they're all dressed like cowboys.

Yeah. Why would we wear this, you know? Wait, that's a good one, Wyatt. Why? They get it. Shab's so dumb. He could try. It was like, when they get there, he's like, do we got to get Wyatt Earp?

Whatever you say, Crockett. Yeah, Dana. Davey. Shob's list of guests involves Davey Crockett, Wyatt Earp. Fucking. That's all the Cowboys I know. Buffalo Bill. John Wayne.

John. Yeah, John Wayne. And I told them, okay, John Wayne. Cowboy Soroni. All right. Let's see what we got next. hopefully a video, nope. Uh-oh.

Oh, yeah. Big mistake. Trouble in Paradise, price cut, bad Peoria posted this one. It looks like they are going down $252,000. Dude,

stack that up over a week and we might be able to buy this house, dude. That would be my dream. Mm-hmm. Seven bathrooms. Yeah. Wouldn't have any problem with,

uh, if you have a little too much tiger thick. You don't, you wouldn't have to pee in the sink. Seven bathrooms, he still pees in the sink, huh? Oh, man. A lot of things to pee in the sink.

though, if you think about it. I mean, you're going to see sinks. It's like, oh, I got to pee. You want me to go to the fucking toilet? There's a sink right here, Daddy. What stands out to me about this is the constantness of everything in his life, like, degrading a price. Like, it's always, the thing with Shab is you got to wait for the deal, right? You don't buy the Tiger Thick basketball donut jersey at $40.

No. You wait until it gets to eight. It's just like the stock market. you buy a low, you know? Sell high. Sell high. It's GameStop. Shob's whole life is GameStop.

That's, yep. And people won't let it go. They want him to continue. Oh, no. Just like GameStop. Yeah. So you wait the, you wait until the fire deal of this,

wait until his house is being sold for $7. $80% off the house. It's the same. It's like Tiger Thick Wigsky. All right. Let's see what we got next here. It looks like a video, Clint Chip

Oops It's chin isn't moving to Austin posted by Clint Puller of Chips Is this true? Let's see Get the hair Arreher Get used to that fellas

This is the last legs Of being sick And the last legs of this show What do you mean? Welcome to the after Welcome to the afternoon What is a weird joke to me? At the beginning, dude

The beginning of the show go. Wow. That's rough. I know chin, how chin feels though sometimes. You got a nice little bit dead pan. You know what I mean? Like both of our brains are like, you know, super computers. That's what Rogan says all the time. Oh, yeah. You know, like, we couldn't, like, we would be Luca and LeBron on the same team, me and him. So it's kind of like, you got some issues. You need a big man in there. Right. How does he fit in there, though, you know? Sure. Um, but he's like, boom, boom. They didn't get it. That was a joke. Now it's hilarious. dude. Oh, yeah. So he's got

fail safes, sailfaves. It's so fun. Like, he's so bad at producing. He just leaves everything in, like all this, all this damning things to the point where there's a subreddit now that wholly designed to make fun of the mistakes he makes. But he's very good.

Definitely not the last legs of this show. For me, I mean, for me. Chin just told us he's not moving to Austin. He's going to stay here and invest in our show. Yeah. We love it. Someone offered me a job. Someone you know. Me.

No. But I'm not going to take it. Bobby Reed? Ooh. Connected in a way. Let's talk about it off air, bro. Is it Gil? I don't know who that is.

Okay. Pat Sejack. I'm back, guys. Can you imagine Mark's here? Can you imagine Pat Sejax? Oh, Mark's back. Mark, we missed just... What the fuck?

When did you get over? there. I was working with Pat Sejack. And Bobby Lee. And Bobby Lee. Yeah, they all hired me. Pat Sejax is actually pretty funny on Twitter. I don't know if you guys ever checked it out.

I thought he did. You actually got, well, he was funny. I think Gil is the guy on George Lopez's podcast. I could be wrong. Or Gil is on Tiger Belly. Okay. But you remember Gil from George Lopez's podcast. No, Gil is, I think, the producer of, one of the producers of Tiger Belly.

The cop. from George Lopez's podcast is trying to steal chin. Hey, bro, like, George doesn't do a show anymore, but I got a lot of stories about fucking nightstocker or stuff like this.

The idea of the show is you talk, I stare at you. I agree with you when he say things. You ever seen Fluffy? He does the noises and stuff like that? I need a sound effect guy. Can you produce that? Do a car.

Dude, this show, I mean, it's hacked to say this, but it is like watching the Titanic if the Titanic was redacted. Yeah. The guys playing music, they're like, yeah, it looks like we're going to hit that iceberg,

huh? It's like the band that played while I was thinking. This is the podcast that recorded while the Titanic was singing. I got offered another job on another ship. Should be taking it.

Yeah, you should have. You're gay. All right, let's see what we got next here. Comedy posted by Caterpillar Hot 7539. I know Joseph Rogan. So he's on Kill Tony.

Yeah. That would be excellent if he made his comedy debut. Yeah. He's like Jordan coming back. Oh, yeah. In 96. Yeah, yeah. 95, whatever.

I mean, it would be funny to start that way. He's like, dude, I got to start at the beginning because I've taken so much time off. Yeah. I need to do it over again. Kill Tony. Yep. One minute. Who would be the special guest?

Adam Reyes, Joe Biden. Right. Hey? How did he a comedian, I understand. Yeah. They're on the same wavelength. Yeah. Let's see here. This is Clint Puller of Chips posted this. Bapa, your bench is blocked Bassa.

Let's see. I have a 10 and a five or a two and a half, I think. One, here we go. And then two. There we go. Okay. B.C. I got to tell you, here's what my tip is.

Brendan, buddy. Your bench is, your bench is block. Buster. You need a trainer. Whoa. Oh, shit. Damn. Look with the skits and bits. Guy? That's the worst

bench press I've ever seen. Okay? I say this out of love. And I also say this, Moka. You need to put this in the thing that you're going to put on social. That's five pounds stronger than my lifetime total and he did it for two.

Brendan is way stronger than me. This is not a claim that I could do better. Fuck no. But I could. do a cleaner bench. He looks like he's getting electrocuted with his ass coming off the bench this way. Okay?

Number one. It's like the Tony Ferguson deadlift video. You ever seen that one? Where there's like no, there's no contraction of the muscles whatsoever. He just looks like a jellyfish a little bit. Look, watch. It looks like he's being shocked through his heels. Watch it. Right? Here's the first one.

And here goes, the second one. For folks who may not know, you are allowed to lift your rear end off the bench to get set and to lift it out of the rack, but you can't descend with the bar until your rear end is touching because otherwise it's all leg drive.

That's the issue. You're allowed to have some leg drive, but not a whole lot. People are asking. I love how Campbell is just like cook. He's like, I'm not saying shit. BC's, you know, he's one of the keepers. Finally a day off, he's saying.

He's been working the kitchen. He was like, finally, this guy's pulling his own weight. Yeah. Around here. That'd be funny if he came out to Luke and was like, I need you to skit and bit, dude. I need this. I can't do it only myself.

I'm not that guy. I'm not that guy, pal. Why do you arch your back? Arching your back is okay. It shortens the reins of motion. If you actually lock in your lats on your shoulders and everything, it can make it tighter, so that's okay. But BC, that's a poverty bench, buddy.

Terrible, terrible form. And listen, I kill everyone else when they've got terrible form. I've got to kill our friends here at Showtime. Brendan, he's strong as fuck. That's a terrible bench, buddy. The worst one I've ever seen my life. Killing Showtime's Phil Sims for his pull-ups wasn't enough. No, I didn't kill him.

The pull-ups were fine for working out, but they, if you don't hit full lockout, it doesn't count. Doesn't count. I don't talk shit. It doesn't even do it on purpose, or maybe he did. Maybe he's just not good. Sorry about that. If you don't hit full lockout, it doesn't count. I don't talk shit about people that can put up four play.

You know, it's a four plate summer for Brendan. So what are we doing here? I don't, I mean, you're putting up weight. I mean, I put them, you know, look. That's facts. I like the rambling that he does when he just throws in a skid and bit. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, all of the shavisms are just so funny in and of themselves. You can put them anywhere anytime in any fast. They work. They're proven. It's just the way it is, B. Dude, we got another what happens next part 10 by Icarus lives. Let's see this. What happened next?

Hell yeah. You know. It's a pillow. And you're saying, sorry. They're not worth it to stop it, but he should do a thing for the gyms called all legs, no chest.

Since he only uses his legs. All right. I'm sorry. All gas no fast or something. Pello and that bothers me. The fellow part is so funny. That's how we say it in Denver. I don't know.

Well, that's all horrible. Denver, dude. Is it really? Yeah. But you say milk too. Yep. Uh-uh. It's I, milk.

Pelos is how they say it in Denver. Dude, that's awesome. Christa Lee is like, you say it like the girls I hook up with. Oh. Bad on. God do. The whole thing. Somebody beat half the vowels out of him.

Oh, God. The guy's down to two vowels. I know, man. I should be farting. I should be. Oh, he's going to say I should be farted. Why? Farting whenever I wanted this point.

What? What? Oh, man, because he has so much brain damage, he's saying they should just fart whenever he wants? I don't know. I think that's what he's, that's sad. Let's see. Out of him.

Oh, God. The guy's down to two vowels. I know, man. CTE changes vowels. I should be farting whenever I wanted. I should be farted earlier in the show. Oh, they were like, Brandon. Yep.

Not again. Because they did have a bit where he farted, right? Yeah. And now he's like, CTE, I can fall whenever I want. Right? I got no control when I fart. Sure. I know I'm going to do it and I do it, but that's because CTE told me to do it.

Yep. Sportsbook app right now. Double Lopez moment, triple Lopez moment. What do you think? Obviously triple. Yeah. Sportsbook app right now. Use the promo code fighter.

All right. Use the promo code. fighter and the promo code is fighter at drafting sports with the official sports event partner of the freaking last super ball sunday super ball oh man good old classic job dude man and you know they're the official sport fighter but you guys need to get hit by your dad's a little bit more you guys need to get like an alcoholic rage beating and then you'll start fucking learning how to have you know nuts. Actual funny response.

Redacted response. Yeah, yeah, no chance. Not funny? Yeah, A. I mean, if it's redacted, it's funny. Yeah, I mean, anything Shab says is funny, so it's like, these questions are playing 40 chess with my mind. I don't know. Some of the experts might have some questions about that,

but you seem to know what you're doing. That actually might have been actual funny response. It's hard to tell. Yeah. Man slime is still unconscious that I write this. What is he reading? I do not know.

Bro, I've been telling you about Deelis since Backback. Man, Dana, I told you I got to see that man live, bro. That makes me think of like, what if Brendan did narration for books? You know, they have books and they like that chapter one. Like Tim opened his car and he drove to work that day. What is Brendan Shaw? Chap chapter one. Tim Dunn got to go.

That's perfect. Tim done got to get out of the house. He went slime. I'm conscious to write this little. Bryn telling you, DeLoson, come back. And it's the account of money,

Christo. By Alexander Dumas. All right. Damn, dude. That was great. I missed those. Those are very good. Let's see.

This next one is posted by Financial Skin, 49, 69. got to make sure the AMG logo is peeking through still. I mean, you know, we're going to get these story posts every now and again. Bentie, because I've been up since 3.30. Way before her enemies, dude. Yeah, that's a little, that's a little much, you know. You can get it closer to 434.

You're right. Stack that over a week, you're toast. Because you've got to sleep sometimes. These people, they're hustle people, the shops. They're selling their house. They're moving. They got business ventures selling all their furniture and all that. stuff. But listen, take some time for yourself.

Yeah, you don't have to wake up that early to crop out the uglies. Right? No. Oh my God. All right. The next one is posted by Noble Pouch. Papa made an appearance on my suggested Reddit thread from NFL Nob's subreddit. This has to be one of you, right?

Why did some players with amazing measurables not get drafted? Was listening to a podcast the other day. And this guy who wants to truck. merchandise company, Brennan Shop, talked about playing football in college. He said he benched 42 reps at 225, even though he's only 245 pounds. This would be pound for pound, depending on what your definition of pound for pound is, a performance that would blow out basically every other NFL prospect in history. On a different episode, he mentioned that he also ran 4.540. He also broke the record for most pull-ups at the gym. He worked out until Tim Tebow broke his record. He didn't mention

how many he actually did, but given his athletic accolades in other areas, I bet it was a lot. He did say he was invited to some tryouts for the bills, but never got signed. My question is, even if he didn't get many snaps in college, wouldn't a guy with that kind of strength and speed be worth at least the seventh round flyer? Go ahead. I mean, oh, it's likely he was just not very good at football. In college, it seems he was a backup, fullback, and special teamer. He was signed by an arena a football team, but cut before playing any games. Oh, fuck. Damn. Dang. No mention of the Buffalo Bills there? Yeah. Okay, I'm gonna say that's not fixed. No, he had a cappuccino there. It's a very heavy cappuccino too. It wasn't like, it wasn't two plates. It was a four plate

cappuccino, dude. How many cups can fit in that thing? That's a lot of cups for sure. Why do you think, dude? I mean, those are impressive accolades. Like, straight up, amazing. Like, It's the bet. Every single category is the bet. They couldn't teach a dog new tricks. You know what I mean? I mean, yes. But at the same time,

people think shadow banning was invented by YouTube. But shadow banning has been around for a long time. And Shab, for whatever reason, he probably fucking pissed off the wrong guy. Because you know he's always doing pranks. He throwing people through windows, Triscuits and all that stuff.

He fucking did something that pissed off the guys up there. And then they were like, you know, fucking, and then Shab had a bet on himself. He pissed in Goodell Sink. Yes. Yeah. Damn, shouldn't have done that, huh, Shab? Let's see.

This next one is posted by Vivid Humor 3752. House of Bapa taking Dents. The price of the home has been reduced by $250,000 million, or $252,000. Okay. I mean, you know, I hate that that's their takeaway, but. I just want to see it down more. Yeah. So, like, we can get closer to.

Somebody suggested we buy the. studio. I'm thinking about it. It's probably going to be expensive. Let's see the next one. Chin leaving the show and staying in L.A. posted by important jeweler 67. We might have already seen this. But let's see. Hair. Arreher. Get used to

that, fellas. This is the last legs of being sick. We've seen this. And the last legs of this show. Pause. In a way. Let's talk about it off air, bro. Yeah, we saw this. Yeah. Damn. Who do you think is the guy that hired him? Hire Chin? Oh, the one. wanted to hire him?

Well, can't be Theo. Good. And it's not Tiger Belly. But he said it's adjacent to Tiger Belly. So... Adjacent to Tiger Belly. So it's not Bobby Lee, but it's adjacent to Trash Tuesday? Are they even around anymore?

Yeah, they actually are. I think Esther and Collila are still making contact. Okay, could be. I actually thought Kalila for a second somewhere in the part of my brain. Let's see. I'm going to look up Trash Tuesday really quick. Can they afford chin?

Are they doing well enough that they have the numbers? Let's see. Trash Tuesday 11 days ago they posted. Oh, so they're still posting. Good for them.

Yeah. Sounds a little bit sick. Oh, that voice. Okay. Let's see. The last episode they posted was what? Four days ago, yeah. Whoa.

Is Jenna on that show? Is she a host? Which one? The other girl. I know her. Oh, okay. Interesting. Interesting.

and tight, so they're still around. Good for them. Keep it up, girls. We might have to get you merge. Happy and a happy International Ladies Day, although that's today to you all. Shout out. Shout out. Let's see here. The next one is posted by Dandy Kaufman.

Everyone else sent Jim picks for the TRT sponsorship, and he sent the replacement buggy car pick, car guy pick. Oh, yeah, look at that. Yep. I mean, he looks thick. He doesn't want to, yeah, he doesn't want to show, like, he doesn't have a Bradley Martin pick, right? Yeah. He does.

So he has, but he has him on the, he's a, he's a car guy. I will say, I don't want to piss you off, but that's a small car, dude. Yeah. You know? I mean, come on, dude. Don't, I mean, don't say, don't say what I think you're saying. It's just, how does he fit in that thing? Man, you fucking asshole.

God, dude, that's me right there, dude. This is what's inside of you. Your violence and your DNA. Oh, yeah. Yeah, dude. This is how I am when I'm, yeah, if you test me. It's kind of funny, like, Shab, if this were some sort of meeting, he shows up, everyone else is like, Jack, bigger than he is.

He's like, I can do more, though, than you. I can live more than you. The world's strongest man. Cool story, bro. Yeah. No thanks. No thanks. Stack that over a week, you toast.

Yeah, this is like one of those things, like a screen capture. pick the strong person. And if you pick Shob, and I think you're a robot. Yeah. Why is his in color, too? Yeah. He doesn't follow the rules.

Redacted. Wow, that's crazy. Yeah. Let's see what else do we got? Posted two days ago by Riff Raff the Alley Cat. Daddy's got getting a check.

Didn't he make it seem like it was some crazy amount? We don't want 5,000. Mark Hunt, rejects UFC's antitrust lawsuit settlement. Damn. Wow. So, so, uh, peanuts.

Bapa got $5,000. There's peanuts. They need more. Let's see this one. Elephant Graveyard, how comedy became a dystopian imperial hell world, uh, posed by haphazard.

We got to watch that later, do you? Yeah, no, those are long, great videos, but, yeah, I didn't, I, it's my first time seeing that's out, so I'm pretty happy about that. Yeah.

Let's see here. Dazzling Rabbit. 633 posted this one. Bill's alumni hair. So this is 225 at 25 reps, 350 at 5 reps, 225 at 18 rips. So that's stack that up. That's a lot of weight.

It's just a lie. At 41 years old. It's like on me on the show, I said that I lifted weight that was weight. The Raccoon Tweety's. We also do a show called Raccoon Tweets. I also claimed to lift weight that was way over what I'd

actually lifted and I did lift that. Mm-hmm. And at 37 years old. Yeah. I should put a picture out like this. Yeah. You should. Yeah, dude.

Send that to me. Bookmark it. Nope. You're on your own, Baba. The athleticism's different. This is posted by chin puller of clips. Baba making fun of an obese child with weight issues.

No. Obest. Even we were playing this team the other day and this kid, he's nine. his parents should be in prison. He's severely obese. But if he gets a hold of a book. Severely.

Severely obese. He's a, he's severely obased. And his parents, his parents, man. Should be in jail. And when he's talking to them, dude,

like the parents, they're probably, they may not even understand him enough to be offended. Who's obese? What's it based? You're saying my kid's based? Yeah.

Is that good? he's severely obese but if he gets a hold of the ball it's a fucking home run and this little fat bitch hilarious little fat bitch wow

they call him LBF on the field I like it better fuck I like it better when Shab is doing is like come on bud like when he talks like that and I told him hey listen to your hey listen your bud buddy

that's more when he's like calling a kid a little fat bitch yeah a little block boss What's better, little fat bitch or little bitch fat? I think actually the first one. I think a little bitch fat would hurt me more, I think, as a child. I'd rather be a fat bitch than a little bitch. You know what I mean?

Oh. No, so you're right. I'm agreeing with you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just went yard like three times and everyone's jock and his kid. I went, his parents should be in prison. There's also no other sport he can play. Right, right, right.

And they're like, he's so athletic. I'm like, name another sport that fat kid can play. There's nothing. Yeah. His footwork's not good. He's not quick. His footwork, he's nine. There's a lot of footwork in baseball.

I don't know. He just happens to be big and can swing the bat. Right, right, right, right. Yeah. So what would you do for a kid like that? You work on other shit? I'd put him on keto. I understand you put him on diet, but would you, would you do you make.

It's keto, bitch. It would be just feeding him to quitos. I would rather do anything. Then fucking make this fat kid eat healthy. the mom's like we eat takitos every day you know shaw's gonna hate that keto bitch i mean this is kind of funny because like it's it's funny to say this about a kid that hits the ball really far because that is a skill even at nine you're hitting it that far it seems like it seems to me and i'm not a sports guy like shop knows way more than me but if you could just get him on a diet or eating

healthier and maybe working out i guess even at nine a little bit if he's really really fat. He maybe has some potential there, right? That would be hilarious if we show the kidney he's just skinny fat. He's like not that fat. Yeah. Shadj is being mean to a child. Because I think back to when I played baseball, I was

terrible at baseball. Oh, okay. And I mean, I know you played, you're good, right? No. You're great. That was pretty bad. I was terrible, like you say. Oh, I was bad. I was like serviceable. Okay. So I'm thinking of like the parents think, if like somebody like shot at him to me, there's nothing that he could say, like, this kid, he's fat he's slow he's bad he's stupid you know like he just go off and not like he would say some pretty

bad stuff about me because I also would not hit the ball very far yeah stack that over a week his diet all the cheese that's at night all that's out the window like have a little discipline buddy because right now you're dominating these nine-year-olds because you're 200 pounds right yeah but as soon as everyone gets the gross word you get older you're fucked dude like your glory years are right now and you're nine what a crazy thing to say so I beat up the dad good I mean, he's just doing bits and have a good time. Stealing another big source and joke. Yeah, probably none of this is real or is sourced from another person's experience.

I didn't think it was bad until the kid ate his own mother. Right, right, right. Okay. So the next clip is posted by haphazard, the end of the fish era. Oh. Oh, fuck. You got rid of them air ones? And then do you think you were smoking three because you're stressed about?

about the Texas move? Because here's the thing about you and I. We don't really think about the details. Like yesterday, my girl goes, oh, I talked to the moving truck. Oh, cool. You know, Daddy's done all the heavy lifting with the finance. Daddy.

It gets me every time. Daddy's done all the heavy lifting, bud. Parts. She goes, oh, I talked to moving truck yesterday. I got four quotes. I go, oh, cool. Let me know how it goes? She goes, what don't you want to know?

How much? She told me to go, to move our stuff? She goes, oh, yeah, your fish tanks, they get, like, you know, you have to drain them, then the fish, and then to do all that. You hear the number. It's about $8,000. Oh. Oh. What?

For everything to get the tank, she goes, no, just the fish tanks because they're so big, and they got to make sure they don't break. I went, oh, well. It looks like I'm not going to have fish. Looks like I'm not going to have fish. And I went, you know, for that much money, I could build four times the size of the tank of this one. That's right. And just leave this here. That's right.

you guys who buy out. I'll give those hair. He doesn't give a fuck about animals, but that is a crazy amount of money. Yeah. But like, yeah,

he's going to give us fish back, just like the dogs. Mm-hmm. Wow. He's going to put the fish in plastic bags and drive across country. If like, yeah,

like a gold fish. These expensive as, like exotic fish. It's just a fish. He's telling him, they're all dead by the time they get to wherever they're going. Oh, that air one was a lemon.

Dude, the fish, like the actual fish themselves, when they hear, I'm going to be left here, they're like, thank you. Because that redact transporting us is going to get us killed. I would rather do anything. Fluffy. Fluffy.

Fish. I'll give those fish mouth-to-mouth driving from here to Texas. Or you say that I'm, you know what? I'm going to leave for you in this house. That was fluffy. Yeah, we're all doing fluffy now. It's Fluffy's time. Oh, blah,

the little... Was that good? Yeah. You nailed that. Oh, Mababloat your whole flutes. That's what the fish thing. Yeah.

They should throw in fish noises into those like nicotine ants that he does. You are like good nicotine too. But then my boy, Brian, who helps me take care of the fish, he has a giant pond, and they would just be so free out there. Let them, let them be free. Yeah. Because I'm the same. Brian's like, I don't want your fish.

I have so many fish in this pond. Right. I mean, Brian, you are like, yeah, it's so confusing because I was like Brian and Brian Callan. Oh. Yeah, yeah, no, yeah. Brian's probably going to force poor Brian to. And then the a aeronnas will eat his fish. Yeah.

He's a menace to the fish. community. He always has been. Yeah. Thank them. With the moving, right? So when you said, let me ask you this. You know we have to fly out with the kids and they get an interview for the... My wife is so good at this stuff.

So when the contracts come to sign, when I tell you, I don't read word one of that. I just go, do, do, do, do, do, do. On the doc side. That's it. I'm like, okay. And I haven't been, like, the move, not even a little bit have I been involved in that. No. I don't even.

No, no, no. I'm not a details guy that way. No, I do. The major stuff. I think about the big numbers. The major stuff I'll do, the house. Can I manage the numbers? What's my monthly?

Yeah. I'm going to get into that. The neighborhood. Schools are good. Yes. The baseball team, check, check. Yes. And then the rest of it's like, oh.

Yeah. Like today you're like, when are we going to start the studio? I'm like, oh, well, we're looking for a studio now. So, probably May. Oh, interesting. Because I'll be there in two weeks. Yeah, I'm moving March 20th. So, yeah.

Oh, yeah. We didn't even talk about this. Yeah, we'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. We always do. We got to send Brian Johnson down, chain ass to go to set everything up. Like, that's not a fast. No. We'll figure it out.

Oh, we always do. Damn, dude, they fucking better keep those red cheers. Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, if they're smart men, they will. Yeah. You know what I was thinking? The dog comes in to remind him, he came into the shot just to remind him, like, hey, I know you're getting rid of the fish, but you love me. I'm a good dog.

Don't leave me here. The fish are like. Don't believe him. Yeah. Not worried about it. What was that face? So unorganized and ridiculous. It seems like a dog would do a better job of organizing this podcast.

Let's see this real quick. I don't know what that was. Maybe that was skits and bits. But you see his face? Ready? What was due? I don't know. I don't know what that was.

It's like Easter eggs. Yeah. And then that one part of the podcast where I did that face. I thought about killing my fish. The fish died in that moment. Yeah. Their life was decided. Let's see here.

Only three products. Defag is deceased. Damn, well, I'm glad I got this hat while it happened. What the hell? $40 still, huh? Oh, they got key chains. How redacted do you have to be to buy a keychain? Next week, we get like 20 keychains just on the long.

It's not even marked down anymore. That was posted by Caterpillar Hot 7539. Oh, come on, dude. We just watched this last week. Posted by Sniffler, talking about tub thumping. Let's see. I get knocked. Okay, we get it, dude.

Caterpillar Hot 7539 posted this hanging out in Austin with McComedy Harrow. Oh, that's not real. Nope. Not a chance. It's not a sign of shop anywhere at the Comedy Mother's show. Not yet, at least. If we do find holes in the bathroom doors, you got a problem. This is posted by haphazard.

Did you videotape that? Okay. What do you think the context is? Something crazy, that unbelievable that shop did, maybe? Okay. I just want to read to everybody the text that Joe Rogan and I got, this morning from you. And it's

and it just came out of nowhere. I woke up and I went, oh, and this is what I got. This is Brendan texting Joe and I. Joe Rogan and I. Fellas, I'm so goddamn strong right now. It's a problem. I just did on bench 220. So they text like this.

Yeah. Wow. That's kind of what I expect their group chat to be, honestly. That doesn't surprise me. Do you think he ever says, all right, my man, to Joe Rogan? Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah. Listen here, bud.

Listen here, pal. It's a problem. It's a problem. 25 times, two-minute rest, then I did 3.15, five times, two-minute rests, and 22-twenty-two times. That's insane. Insane. That's insane strength. Insane.

Did you videotape that? No, I should, though. But I probably should do it so people can see. But it's just weird setting the camera up, you know, on the stand. No, you should because I know you do that and I know you can do that. And I know you have done that. But I want any doubters to know and see. Because it's like, well.

I like how you laughed. He was like doubters. Yeah, like we're going to die. He's going to kill us. They want, we, Brian wants videos so like he knows how close we are to death. Right? We think these red chairs will protect us But this man can lift 300 pounds or whatever it is

That many times It's a little scary Stack that over a week All right, because that's crazy I don't know, I don't, that's combine shit That's high level combine shit Oh no, what motivated me is Jay last night Because the combine's on right now

It might have ended but we watch all of it I said what's the highest numbers on it They watch all the combine dude That's redacted as shit That might be what What? That's got me going wet. 225 at tight end.

Jade texts me. And he's like, and these are the linebackers. I was like, I can beat all those. Jay's like great? I'm like, yeah, probably twice. Like I bet I could do it within a set twice. That's why I did it. 225, 22 times?

25. Then I rest. 25 times. That's so much. Do you know how much? That's so crazy. Yeah. And then 315, 5?

And then I went back to 225, 22 times. and I continued with my workout. That is nuts. And for it is my thing. And I sold comic books to the people at the gym. I mean, listen, I believe he believes that. But to believe what he's saying,

you have to think that he knows how to do math. You know what I mean? It's way less. I think it's, I think he's like, dude, two 45 pound plates, you know, what does he think that is? I don't, yeah, I have no idea. You just had to think about it right now.

I'm just as bad as it. I don't know math. I don't want to do it. And then also on our episode, Rackling Tweetyis, I made a ridiculous amount that I said I did, you know, and I didn't know the weights. Yeah. I mean, 245 is 90 on one side and then 180 altogether.

And then the, what is it called? The bar? Yeah. It's probably like 25 pounds or something, right? The bar is 45. All righty. Stack that. So that's what?

5, 45 pound plates? That's like 500 pounds, dude. See what I'm saying? Damn. It was just with confidence, you believe me. That's not 500 pounds. Yeah, no, it's not at all. No.

But he believes it. Yeah. You know what I mean? I just, we probably should just get the numbers. I mean, I don't doubt anything that Brennan Chubb says. I think if he really wanted to do it, he could probably lift 700 pounds.

Well, I was playing the devil's concubine. Right. So. And for what? to be the strongest baseball bag. Why do you think you're so strong? Because you never stopped working out. But genetics and all that, I know.

But like, that's weird. Yeah, and then, you know, yeah. You've never not worked out. Never not worked out. Like ever since you're fourth grade. Your tendons must be. Yeah. And the only time I took it off,

and I've been benched since fucking, I don't know, elementary. But the only time I took off, when I did stand up, I had like eight to nine months where I just drank and did stand up. So you... So I took that time off. I hated. with myself.

Yeah. And I was like, I need to be my kid's superhero and then I got back in the gym seriously. I got a peptides, TRT and your boys fucking... It's that TRT and peptides too, right?

Stupid strong, dude. It's fucking... It's retarded. I said... But you know what it is? The boy's been really strong. Yeah, but I said, you know what it is?

I'm getting rest. I go to bed at 9. A week of at 5. I have a routine. I'm eating good. I don't drink anymore. bad not drinking is really really good and also just happier overall like I was a knucklehead dude I've been a knucklehead for a long time yeah you know so it's just like getting my life together you know so when you go to Austin you'll be at the mothership all time probably not dude yeah I mean I'll check like obviously I'm gonna support you when you're there yeah I'm there I'm there I'm there when you're there I'm there I'm there but as far as like if rogan's yeah I go say what's up to boys but as far as like he's always there dude yeah every night if rogan's there if you're there I'm there I'm there I'm there I'm there I'm there But other than that, no.

If there's like comedy going on, I'll check it out. Like my life's so different now, dude. Different. Nice. Well, I'm proud of this guy, dude. Yeah, I'm glad he's not drinking anymore. And, you know, Texas should be fun. Mm-hmm.

It may be, dare I say, a special time. Yeah. Let's see here. This is posted by Money Loan 1864. These are two things that grinds my gears with Bapa lately, announcing loudly on earwaves that he told and texted rings that he needs to move to Texas for comedy, but then suddenly makes it about himself and buys a house before rings did.

He used that announcement as a facet to hide the fact that he already decided to move to Texas first but was too scared to admit it before Brian. Facts or Savage? Sounds about right. Okay. Sounds dead on. Clint just announced that he isn't moving to Texas, but even though Clint is a redact himself, come on, be cool.

He was opening up on the podcast about seeing a therapist and Bapa tried to diagnose Clint on earwaves and baiting him to get personal to the roots. of Clint's problem with women. Clint didn't say what the root of his issue were because it's personal, but Bapa is true Bop in his true Bapa fashion thinks good podcasting is airing out all your personal stuff. He always does that. Yeah, I can say, I mean, that's like what a cult of personality people do is like they get their producer and their peons to embarrass themselves by revealing every part of their embarrassing

life and then they feel like they're better even though they're like much worse off usually. This is what the trick is, dude. you say something on the podcast that's true, but you twist one thing, dude. So the whole thing is not true. Yes. And make it something silly, dude. Yeah, that's like when I was saying

that I only lifted like, I don't know, 215 or whatever, I lift 245. It was so silly to suggest that I wouldn't only list that much that I've ever lifted 215. Yeah, that's silly, dude. I know. I'm a silly guy. I've always been a silly guy.

Yeah. I've been a numbers guy. Yeah, like if you want to tell a true story on a podcast, just at the end put a Sharpie in your ass. That's how you get away with it, dude. Yeah, dude. And you've done that before. I mean, right?

I've never done that. Yep, never any time. Not a chance, B. What are you talking about? All right. Let's see what the next one is. Hi. Okay, that's a promotion.

Complacent, exhausted posted this. It makes no sense that Brian seems completely over T-Fat K and the shadow. What's the shadow? The ban? Oh, okay. I mean, that's probably the only shadow they reference, right? Now you listen to him after I told you fucking... Listen, we had a conversation about it.

Yeah, I mean, listen. We'll give you the idea, but your boy has carry-through. Yeah, your boy... How do you think you got here? You know what he does? You know what he does? Hold on. No, you're mama bird. You fed me.

Right. You fed me. And then two weeks later... No, don't say two weeks later. Oh, wow. And you're on my back. You're on my back. Don't do that.

And then me and Chris are like, no, no, no, don't do that. Because you might... Yeah, I like the wires, dude. I hate earpots. They fall out. I lose them. That's ridiculous.

You wear... You use wires? I'm still for you? Hey, bro, the new... And I'm four times richer than you. And I still wear... You're four times richer. The iPod throws, just because my show got canceled,

it's actually... I'm not happy about a lot of stuff by that, and that hurt my feeling. Tell them four times richer? Like, nothing hurts my feeling. And that made me... Fringe? I don't want to do the podcast anymore.

Like, I don't want to do the podcast. But you have to? Damn. I forgot about that. That's such a dick thing to say. And then the have to thing, it's like, that's not funny. Fuck. You got after you do that, even if it lands afterwards, you got to be like, hey, man, I, I, I fucked up.

Yeah, dude. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. I got a big dig, dude. It's not funny. It's not funny at all. Just so.

sad. It's just fucking the thick 1. I've been surprised for so long. Oh, fuck. I'm... It's okay, Brian. He's Elon Musk. With a lack of ventilators out of they're

dealing with a lack of hospital beds. And their rate of infection is coming down over the last three days. Come with me. Me and my shadow.

Oh, yeah. Oh, Shab is like his shadow. Oh. All bad news. And New York is 15 times worse than the next state closest to it, which is really kind of me and my

shadow. Kind of interesting. The reason is, yeah yeah no that makes sense because New York City because New York is more global than any other state

especially he's like copying other people I guess or something he sucks oh he copied Joel Joe Michael

yeah yeah New York City of course right I'm going to have to get back to the podcast but I appreciate I appreciate the insight No, how can we fix the economy? Go. He's a genius.

Yep, thank him. So, yeah, I mean, good chin clip from complacent exhausted. I was trying to think of something to say, but I had nothing. Community note was wrist wraps, has wrist wraps on it, posed by dazzling rabbit 633,

one for the boys, breaking Adasanya's ex-girlfriend, Charlotte Powdrell, cries her eyes out after paying him, 500K for taking him to... So, no revenue. Do you know the story? No.

I saw this earlier. So I immediately was like, that doesn't sound real. You know, like, I was like, there's no way. That's real probably. So there was a story online where it was like, Adasanya broke up with his girlfriend. Right. And she sued him saying like that they didn't get married and like they were dating so long

that she like still owes him alimony or something because, they were dating so long and going to get married so he owes her money, right? Yeah. But he has never taken any of his winnings. They are all in his mom's name.

So when she sued him for that, she had so much money that he's getting $500,000 from her because she has more money. It makes no sense. Like it's, and they're, because they're banking off New Zealand law,

maybe or something. But I remember being like, that's laughably ridiculous. But Shav's like, hell yeah, dude. Crack open her Budlight. One for the boys. Too bad he's not white.

Oh, really do. Too bad. He's not right. All righty. Let's see what we got next. Don't know who to ax posted this. The Thick Boy era is over. Soysenpic, Texas truck boy coming soon.

Fuck yeah, dude. Let's go. Oh, so the T-Fat K shop. Oh, Thick Boy is down. Yeah, do we don't need that anymore. Do we need new merch? It's just down while they make new merch. Okay.

Complacent Exhausted posted this. I think it is fear to assume Didler wouldn't do Golden Hour for no money, Bapa. What about Sanaz? Nobody's talking about Sanaz going to Texas. Yeah, what's happening with her, dude? Because we need a new intern.

Yeah, could be. There's plenty of people who can be interns in Austin, though. Mm-hmm. There's a Radak factory. I mean, there's, but we have, we need it. Oh, we need one, too. Oh, yeah, Sanaz. If you aren't going to Texas, come on by.

Yeah. you ever put these under insects what is that oh no no no no I have heard to it though so I can watch myself I just you know

because it's fucking dope and I don't get to see me you know looking in the mirror isn't the same I want P OV of me I want to know what it's like to make absolute love with me

it's just this big white fucking thing yeah yep fucking about this city um your turn

electrifying fucking Mr. Sitting Back relaxing Dude, I'm just enjoying the show, baby I'm doing all the heavy lifting here Your turn, dude Go, what you got, bro? I'm over here talking about fucking You know, my dates

I will be in Krista.com Go ahead, come on, we got to the table We got to bring to the table He's like, please Now I'm being serious I need you to say something, please. I can't do this all myself

Got it. No, what do you got to? bro. I'm fucking I bring up, I bring up goggles. Well, no, I brought up goggles. Oh, no, you brought up goggles

and then I said I like goggles. I know because I fucking tossed it out there and then it birthed a fucking great thing. And then my thing is I jump on opportunities. What you're doing now is you're letting me jump on opportunities. That's what I like to do.

You jump on an opportunity here, bro. What you want to talk about, man? What would you like to talk about? That's exactly what. what has been happening. Yeah, the bomb theater. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Bad comedy theater. Not funny. Theater. Crickets theater? Crickets theater. The Crickets Theater tour with Brennan Chubb. All right. That's a, you know,

Chris Delia is living in his own hell, for sure. Yeah, we see a lot of that. We haven't seen it for a while, like the focus on that. But, yeah, I mean, he did what he did, and now he's learning from him. Matt. Thank him.

You enjoy freedom. So the next clip is posted by complacent, exhausted. It's called Little League Opening Day. Jets were hired for a flyover to make it special. Bapa is appreciative. We're wearing a Dodger shirt now. Disaster. It's fun, though.

It's fun, though. They had opening day this weekend, and they had four jets fly overhead for the open ceremony. I was like, hey, bud. How much did that cost? Yeah I saw those jets Yeah I was like

What are those doing They're the opening day At our Little League Yeah Because I live I think I live Yeah you live right there Yeah

Yeah And they put out smoke Mm-hmm Now I thought It's just red white And blue smoke It was just gray smoke When the camera

When the camera So funny To keep that in John You just hear a dog That I don't think That actually Okay

I mean It's still Whatever it is Great great in red, white, and blue smoke but it was just gray smoke when the camera

It did look like he was looking at the dog at the end John, you just hear a dog howling and sagebrush That's when I'll be God That's my guard dog Donnie Oh, it did happen to the show

See, you weren't redacted in that I give chin too much credit dude Yeah, dude He thinks he's a cane corso What is it? Okay, thanks It's just a package

Yeah, I thought the smoke should have been red, white, and blue, but it's just great. What? The fucking package at the door stopped the whole show. We've already got these guys in red chairs talking about our squeaking. Now we're talking about packages. Squeak. That means that, like, beforehand, Shab is very, like, militaristic about, that's the wrong word he is, but you know what I mean. Yeah.

He's like very, like that about packages. He's like, you got it to me right away. And they're like, Sean, we got this. Even that's on the show, he's like, we're in the show. Put the fucking package away.

Put my dick pills somewhere else. Those are dick pills. It's a big box that says dick juice. And just put down there. Yeah. Yeah, I thought. It's very funny when whenever, we see it all the time,

but when Bapa's like, I work with idiots. Oh, yeah. It's very funny to see that face. What? What? Yeah, dude, you don't know what to do right now? Come on.

Anyway, so I was laying on my pillow after drinking a big old glass of milk. The smoke should have been red, white, blue, but it's just gray smoke. Maybe it's extra for the colors. Ah, you're right. In my head, I'm like, yeah, I mean, let's interest that money in the snack shack. Forget these planes. And it's just, ooh. And I was like, yay.

I'm like, dude, how much that cost? whatever. They do it over here. He has the same takeaway for every topic he talks about it. That's how much that kind of talks? Talks a little bit. That's how much that kind? You're right. Yeah, he's very materialistic

and a dad too into money shit. No, I'm saying he repeats himself. Oh. He'll bring up a topic and just have one takeaway about it. That too. Let's see here. Probably costs more than your house. Let's see.

Love them. Posted by Poop Dick the Clown, 91. Let's change that name, please. This man has learned nothing. It's like, people ask me, what do you do on your podcast? Just send him that video of me going, poop dick the clown. You're fucking around. You could talk.

You could say, did you ever try to say that? You know, you know what you left out? Like, you forgot. And they're like, oh, I forgot about that. Yeah, that's a big part of the bit. Yeah. I never tried stand-up, so that's... You could do it.

It seems terrifying to me. So singing on stage. You could do it. It's a lot easier to scream with, you know, 50,000 watts behind your voice, you know, then tell a joke and bomb. Is it, though? Because you could suck at that. Joe Roggan wants everyone to do Santa.

Yeah. And it's just the... It's his bit. Yeah. It's a nuclear bomb waiting to happen. All right, let's see what we got next. So this is probably going to be the last clip for us today. It's called,

Diddler is checked the fuck out. Bapa can't help but be incorrect posted by Bright Bread. Well, yeah, I'll be in Peoria coming up here on Saturday. Wayne's World. Friday, Friday. Oh, yeah, oh, yeah. That's where they're from. Yeah.

Pull up my schedule. Let me bring you up to speed. My name is Wayne Campbell. I live in Aurora, Illinois. Aurora. Chicago. Excellent. This is Machiano.

Yep. Good guess by a shop. You know what I mean? Closer than usual. Yeah. It's funny to, you know, it's like, classic shops. then with just him like interrupting for no reason and being wrong. Yeah.

9-11. He's like, what? He's at New York. 9-11. The Pentagon. He's in New York. Well, that's all the close for today. We're at about like nine minutes and 50 seconds.

All right, guys. Join the Patreon. We do early access for this show. See you next week.