10 Minutes of Schaub - Brendan Schaub DEFENDS BRYCE MITCHELL?! | 10 Minutes of Schaub #141

Episode Date: August 23, 2026

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They say all the DAs got recalled. They say in shadow bands near. So I remember every post. And every comment I didn't read. I sold my house. I'm a career with the beach. Welcome back to 10 minutes of shop. Thanks for tuning in.

As always, join the Patreon. Join the Reddit this week on the Patreon. We watched and reviewed Ellie Wong's new special. Ever heard of it? Single lady. Is that what it's called? Yeah.

Okay. Yeah, she did talk a lot about that. But anyways, we go live on Wednesdays. That is not why you're here. You're here to watch 10 minutes of shop. So start the timer. Play the chin clip. All right.

Let's go with this haphazard clip here. Oh, fuck. Starting off hot. Maton asking the hard-hitting questions. And we watched this on the live, correct? Yeah. But I got to watch it again. It's so good.

Let's see. Watch it both times. The sounds on? Yeah. Oh, my bad. That is the team's fault. Hold this, please. Here goes.

I have to be honest with you, not to be a dick. I've been doing this for a long time. I've earned a certain amount of respect. And you have a fucking sheet set up. That's just my setup. Okay, well, let's move on, okay? I mean, you know, even this chair is not comfortable. Have you ever tried to...

I got this fucking guy next to me. Keep going. Have you ever tried a Mexican cookie? It's like a chocolate chip with salsa all over it. It's my favorite food, to be honest with you. I love the sweet and the spicy. I've always been kind of a sweet and spicy person myself, like behind my face. Thank God he's fucking done with his pizza.

It's fucking monkey. It's like a food truck diary. Yeah, way better. Also, it's Joe's pizza. You catch that? No. You've had that, right? No.

I think it's from New York, but it's also out here. Makes the clip a little bit different from me. I've experienced that pizza. It's good. Usually I would get it drunk in downtown Los Angeles. That's too much about me. Back to the clip. Sorry, I got distracted a little bit.

Why is the Mexican cookie chocolate chip with salts all over it, your favorite food? Because it's not what you would expect, and it's like, it's what I call essential food. Have you tried it before? No, but I'm going to. Who's going to introduce you to it? Probably matan. If it wasn't me, because earlier you said it was your favorite food, implying that you would have tried it. Yeah, because I went through to my mind. Who would have introduced you to that?

Who would have introduced me to a chocolate chip cookie? To a chocolate chip with salsa all over it. Somebody of Latin descent. Viral flooring? The other one who told me he was Venezuelan. Where's Brendan Schwab from? It's Shab. You have to say his knife right. Brendan Shab?

Yeah, Brennan Shab. He is not Mexican. He's not Latin. He's actually a white boy. So why didn't you say that? Well, because you said Schwab and I said Shob. That's where I got introduced to it and it's my favorite food. Really? Yeah, the Mexican cookie.

Oh, you know what, dude? You fucking led me down the rabbit hole and I fell for it and you're looking up like you don't know what you're saying. I don't know. See? You're acting innocent but you're not doing a good job. I didn't do anything.

God, I'm jumping. Brian is so redacted that like, Maton is having trouble not like breaking character and laughing in his face. Just like the cringe of Brian Callahan. He can't take it. Maton is like this genius level actor who does a, like a fucking Sasha Barrett Cohen Borat,

like never break character. But Brian is like the kryptonite to that because he's so fucking stupid. Also, I would be excited if I was Matan that too. Oh, yeah. Yeah. We would love to be able to fuck with Brian and like mess with them, you know? And didn't do shot bits right in front of Brian. That'd be amazing.

but the second, I couldn't take it either. The second he's like, oh yeah, I love a Mexican cookie. Yes, probably a man of Lendon. I would go, no, Brian. This isn't that kind of show. I'd take his mic. Push it away from him.

We're not doing that. Can you stay your words shorter, please? Sorry. Let's see your name, to be honest, too. I moved in a house recently. moved in a new house in LA. Whenever you move in a new house, it's always weird, but it's even weird it's in the middle of pandemic. So we're moving in their house, my girl goes, Poppy, Poppy, I've seen the neighbors. They're pretty old. Let's play it safe. They're probably COVID conscious.

Once you just go over and induce yourself, right? I'll bake some Mexican cookies and you go over there. I'm like, what the fuck some Mexican cookie? What are you talking about? It's like a chocolate chip with salsa all over it? What are you talking about? I got more hungry. I'm like, that's a terrible idea. Just, I'll take it. I'll figure it out. Duce is Machiano. Rantema. Shout out to haphazard for that one, dude.

Where's Matana on your Netflix BlackBus on scale now? I use Netflix, I think. It's funny that on the side it says 165K Tony Inchcliff fans. 80 talking about Tony Hitchf.

Yeah. They change that all the time. Usually have different profile paper right now. It's just the fighter than the kid. We discuss the podcast B. Oh, that's a promotion. Matan talks to Callan about the Reddit.

Oh, eight minutes. That's pretty long. Posted by a haphazard. Let's check it out. We'll try to pause it as much as we can, though. All my friends are funny. Made no sense for me to say that, but just so it doesn't drown out just eight minutes straight.

Oh, yeah. No, they're not. No. What do you think of my friends is not funny? Careful. I think it's integral for a successful podcast to have a good co-host. No, not this one. Well, why not this one?

Why are you the exception? Are you saying that my podcast... My podcast is not successful. Your podcast is more successful than mine. Now, my podcast used to be way more successful than yours. You know this. But you're too young to remember that. Oh, no, I've been there from the beginning.

Well, not really. I have. Well... I've been watching the start. I've been... No, because you were... Eventually I unsubscribed. This is good stuff, man.

You did? But I subscribe to a different page. You want to subscribe to my fucking podcast? I unsubscribe from the YouTube. I subscribe to the Reddit. That doesn't help me. Oh, that doesn't make you any money? No.

You know, the thing I like about this is he's, in my mind, he's doing everything that we want to do, right? He's saying the things for us that we can't say too Kallin. Like all the cats. He's speaking for the cats, right? We didn't matter, we didn't count, but Matan is putting our message out there. I like that.

He's got the bandoliers storm in the front. Help me, and I feel like, you know, you're adding your voice to a lot of negativity. No, I'm not. I'm just a happy guy who is a big... And I will tell you this about Reddit. No. I had no idea how big it was.

Until what? My wife told me. And when was that? That was... Dude. I would love some of that for my time. That's funny, dude. Oh, man, he's fucking, like, having the guy laugh at him and put money in his face and then take it away when he grabs it.

God damn it, dude. The disrespect... This is awesome. This is great. Yes. Why is Calan doing this? They probably paid him a lot of money. I don't want to be human.

I guess, yeah, I mean, Callan let someone hit him in a cow costume. So, of course, he'll do anything for money. Yeah. I don't want this to be done to me, personally. Especially at this stage of, if you're in this stage, your career, you're kind of famous. You're going to let a fucking 25-year-old fake character just belittle you with his pizza guy and a man and a child in a NASCAR outfit. Engagement, britt. Yeah, I guess that's all the manners.

Yeah, I don't know. Uh-oh. Oh my God He's doing He's doing a podcast Is that Alex? Is that Alex? Alex? Yeah

What is he? Ask him what he wants He's doing a podcast with Brandon Schwab It's Shab Don't say Schwab I'm saying it wrong Yes, it's Brendan Shab It's a German name

You want to get sued for that I miss that That's funny Hello Oh shit He called you. He somehow he found the footage right now on Facebook. He's suing me.

He is? Fuck. He said he got Rogan involved. What? Brian's... Not this again. So bad at improv. Rogan's involved?

Yeah. I'll take back the phone. Don't give it back to him. Here, turn that fucking... God's sake, be careful. That's an iPhone 16. All right. Okay.

Five? I don't have an answer for you. Two. Again, I would never say who I don't think is funny. It's so mean. Okay, let me... Cut to us. It's so me.

Yeah, it's so... I'm sure, Callan. I'm sure you don't say people aren't funny. Yeah. The fuck out of here. Raise it like this. Is Theo Vaughn funny? Yes.

He's very funny. Yes. Is your co-host funny? I think my co-ho... You mean on the fighter and kid? Wait, right. On the fighter and kid? On the fighter and kid?

On the fighter and the kid. He's very funny. No, he's not. Oh, come on. You don't even listen to the podcast. You get your information from the community. Another lawsuit. I like how he says it like the community.

You should be listening to the fighter and a camera. Is this how you expected this episode to go today? Yes. You did? I did. Well, then good on you for showing up. Come on, bro. We're here, man.

I'm sure you're still going to regret it. Yeah. Some psychologists say that the left side of the brain is for analytical thinking while the right side of the brain is used for creative purposes. What would they say about someone like you who is missing their brain? They would say that I'm all heart.

All heart. Yeah, dude. Nothing else. Yeah. That's why you don't want to throw your friends under the bus. I work from my heart. In Lester Asian. I'm less than Asian.

A little fat and tiny, yeah. Oh, Bobby Lee. Yeah. You're being, that's a mean way to describe. No, that is that not. You don't love him. Has Bobby been on this? He has not.

You're trying to kill him. Trying to get good points with him for him to show up. He's a good man. I've already accepted. You've been using me to get him. You've been using me to get him on the fucking podcast because he's more popular. He's a way better guess. He's like top tier guest.

I agree with that. The most viral clip we ever had was Bobby. Did somebody record the phone call? Oh, that's great, dude. Wow. No. No, and there were two phone calls, but listen. Bye.

Put the names. So you got to get yourself a little more specific and start fucking writing. See? Yeah, you didn't do the names though. What names? What names? Yeah, fuck. Hey, John, Steve.

No, no, real names, real names. Isaiah. For the audience. Jeremiah, you guys are not fucking funny. Brendan. Why did you say that? Why did you say that? Trying to help out.

Brendan takes too much shit. I love him, man. I feel like you don't. He's my, uh, he's up. I'll see him in court. So much money, dude. How do the fuck do you have that much money? You're young.

I don't fucking got any of them. You're making a lot of money, too of those in you. You know what's happening? You're making money off me right now. This episode might do good. Yeah, it'll do very well. It'll be seen by hundreds of thousands on a brand new platform. These guys like, all right, not guys.

Callin, Whitney Cummings, Rogan, all those people. I think all the cats probably agree with us, and even more so, they're not funny. They're trash, right? But they're hugely popular, or at least they're known. They are, they're all like now, people have realized that they suck. You can make money off of how much they suck.

Yeah. They power. They generate money from how bad they are. Like, Callan is a bag of, he's a bag of money. And the right maton saw a bag of scooped it He scooped up that call in money bag. And he's trying to shake out.

He's trying to squeeze like what you do with toothpaste when there's nothing left. You squeeze out what's left. The tube. You know, like when you take a towel and you're twisting the towel. And so Matan, to Maton gets the towel when it's like super or like wet. And then he's when he's finally done and it's almost dry, he gives it to us. And we go, is there any? We put our mouth out like.

I got to drop. Or maybe Matan and the cats, they do that. They have the big bag and then it goes. Any part of you feel like this is all, Maton is great. I'm not trying to say he's not. But he's kind of like a chosen guy to try to like flip a bad situation good.

Oh yeah. No, we, I said that before. I haven't let go of that narrative. I know I have Graves disease. We all know that. And I forget things. But no, I still think even though this is like,

Even if it's not real and it's fake and all that stuff, it's well done. It's enough to make me laugh. Now I like Maton. He's funny. Yeah. But yeah, it's maybe not real and probably not. And it's all a handshake. All right, I'm going to say this.

You say that. It's not authentic like this. Yeah. I feel like it's not that everyone is in the know of it, but it's like just like how Andrew Scholes becomes a huge comedian because he's friends with everyone there. Maton's somewhat of becoming a friend of these Redax. Also, he has access. I mean, Maton's on like TV shows

and like award shows. And he has Brian Callan's number. We don't, we got, we got Brennan Walsh's number and we got Mark Harley's number. And those are our voice. Until they do another 9-11. But now, I'm just kidding. Yeah, we're nobody's, dude.

We don't matter. Okay. There's no odd. There's no plan. Yeah. The only plant is the fucking growing in Gerardo's fucking, or yeah. In the net. I mean, she's buying us all the way.

What's that platform called? If you say Reddit, I'm going to freak out. We both know it's right. What am I bullying you? Damn it. You were bullying. By the way, this whole fucking podcast should be called the bully podcast. Define bullying for me.

Is that it? Like what? Oh, gosh. That's my hero. Also, Sean McArthur sponsors us and Tiger Belly. They also give us a lot of money. and a terrible He's a good manager,

look how much money he's the worst manager and the worst co-host I've ever been in ever in my life that you deal with the worst co-host every week

that's fucking not true why'd you almost laugh at that because you don't watch the podcast so how would you know that I might keep up with it more than you

okay who is the last guest Brandon no see fucking I'm wrong I just got you you guys can't get guests anymore we get guests

yeah you guys got we've had some problems but yeah yeah but you things haven't been what they were? Why do you think that is? Because of some decisions.

All right, what are you doing? Is that a victory thing? I'm manifesting bad on you and your family and your kids in the way. I'm 58. You're right, okay, but we don't have to do that kind of fucking math. I thought you were going to say I thought we were done with the negative stuff. I hope it's

over soon. What would you get me for a birthday? If you had to. Oh, that's a good question. What would I get you for your birthday? Don't be a dick. No, I'm going to give you a real answer. I would give you Reddit gold.

I'm not doing that. I'm not gonna, I'm not pounding you for that. Ow, don't fucking pound me when I don't pound you. Don't force pound me. Well, I don't like this. Well, why do you keep bringing up Reddit? You know I'm sensitive about that. That's why.

And why'd you call it the community? I'm part of it. I feel like I'm in a community. You're a part of the Reddit community? Come on, we did this already. I'm the fucking leader. I started it with that email. Fucking Matan.

You finally figured it out after all this time. And this has been, and this is fucking where I'm at now in this white portal. And it's the other podcast is the fighter and a kid. No, no, no. I'm saying it's a beloved podcast except for by the community. No, I'm saying you're talking about like. Money is a good bit, dude. That's such a good bit.

Moles and like human flesh. That's more for your, save that for Friday. Okay. If you, I'll give you money if you. bring me with you, bring me like in a costume. You mean to the fighter and a kid? No, to, oh, then I'll do, I'll do it. Or you mean to Rogan?

Same offer. If I brought you to Rogan and I dressed you up like a furry or something and you just didn't say anything like you were him? No, that'd be kind of cool, right? If you were just next to me? I'll shut down the whole Reddit. I'll shut it down. You will? Yeah.

If I bring you on Rogan? I'll do it. Dude? We have a deal. But how are you going to shut down the Reddit? Look me in the eye. I own it. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I've started it.

And I tricked you. So you're like the leader of all of them. I don't want to... So if you were like... So if you were like... So if you were like, stop? It would just stop? No, I could just stop.

My's ban all of it. I don't use Reddit. Well, no, no. You don't fucking have a lot of power for a kid your age, dude. No. I still don't believe you're 17. I think you're 21.

Peaches. Delive. Wow. Nuts. Never seen it. Yeah, dude. I think it might be the longest clip we were watched here, dude. I'm not a numbers, guess.

I don't know. what do you think, dude? What I think about just overall maton. I mean, that was really funny. Yeah. Good shit. I wish he could get Shab on.

Now that we can't get stand-up from Shab, that might be the next best thing. It's going to happen, dude. I hope so. It's going to happen. He was good. He was a really good stand-up, and it's just sad that because of some weird

random hate group on Reddit, we can't see him anymore. Yeah. You know? This is posted by Where Does It Hurt R.A.? Shout out from my boy. DDP who's fighting this weekend. Brendan Schaubb, great prediction has been.

Ha ha ha. J.K. You've never been. I think that's from the last fire. Right. Just so fucking mean, dude. Like, you win and you still post that. I guess it's like, yes, you bet against me. I'm gonna fucking. J.K. You had never have it. He's just adding on to it. Yeah. Damn. Shout out to DDP.

Yeah, great guy. I'm man. Numbers guy B. Five days ago from AB underscore TB12. Cat Williams 7.4 million with Theo Von, Antonio Brown, T-Fat K, 35K. Oh, damn. Woof.

They had on the Cracker of the Day guy on T-Fat K. How'd that go? I don't know. I want to see some clips. Are we going to get Antonio Brown clips? I guess we'll see. Matana seems to be dominating, though. Ten minutes. Oh, my God.

Okay, we already saw this. I think. Hap hazard. The Bobby controversy and Bapa. I wish we would have just watched this one. Yeah. But, well, if we miss anything, let us know in the comments.

This one's posted by Glee 4 Pine Tree. Old clip of comedian Ari Shafir bragging about showing his penis to a five-year-old girl on multiple occasions. Yikes. Let's see. I was at my friend's house. She's a lesbian single mother. And she goes, I want

to go to the bathroom. She goes, and she has a five-year-old. She goes, can she watch your pee? Because she needs to see what a penis looks like before it's too. What? Yeah. She doesn't want the first penis she sees to be the one going into her mouth. Dude, why would she choose yours? Yeah. But this is what she said. She was like, why does it come out of that thing?

And I was like, hold on. Oh, wait. You let the kid want you pee? I know. You let the kid want you pee? You got to start with the story. Where have you been with this? Did you let her shake it off?

No, but then she went to touch it. I was like, crossing a line. What? How old is she? Hold on, hold on, hold on. Dude, I'm leaving because I don't want to be a penis later. children up here. You walked into someone's house. They said, my dog needs to see you P. Yeah. You said, cool. I said, yeah, okay. You said, oh, okay. The kid's five. Something like that.

Okay. And then you walked into the bathroom with a five-year-old alone. You pulled your dick out. The five-year-old child said, you're like, oh, watch this. What's this thing? You're not going to believe what's about to happen? How come you do it like that? Some along those lines. And then she said, why is, I can't get over the guy in the beginning saying like, because not the first thing you put in that? Like, I fucking add that to all the terrible clips that people take out of comedians doing like,

um-key. This is us watching this. Yeah, it's Ben Avery. Yeah, Ben Avery was... The guy in the back, this is all things comedy. I can tell it's an ATC there. And the guy in the back, he's still the guy that does the producing.

This is like from 30 years ago. Not that guy, the other guy that was on the Aaron or something. I remember him. He's not on screen right now. Yeah, I know. Nothing ever changes. It all says.

It's always like this. Let's see. Is it so puny for her actual words? And I was like, wow, I mean, I wouldn't. You're like, bend over, bitch. I'll show you a puny. Bend over, bitch. I'll show you a puny.

These guys are drunk or something. I don't know. I mean, I'm making excuses for them. I don't know why. But yeah, I don't like this. Oh. Five-year-old kid. Yeah.

This I could hear this story again I don't know if she knows what her puny She knows the word puny And she goes, what's all that stuff? She tried to touch it And I was like, no, no, no, no These isn't real Those are barnacles

Those are barnacles Did you slap her hand? It's hilarious Did you slap her hand away? Or did you just I just kind of back casually pushed it away? I was like, no no

Oh, what you stiffed under? Heisman style? Yeah, and then you were like, uh, not for three more years? Who can piss Grab at it Were you just making eye contact With it all the time

Yeah, were you guys looking at each other Look at what's going on young lady What was the How did you end it? Do you guys hug or? I tapped it off Was there pillow talk? Was there a more you know?

Stan's got a beat off of the story This is the credit Like when women say men shouldn't have podcasts That's what all podcasts are like You know? This is what they're talking about Because you like this? wait three years until she's eight.

I don't, yeah. It cheapens us for even saying anything. Nuts. I don't like it. Let's see here. 300 pages posted this one. It's called Chin drunkenly pointing guns at his food. See, this is wholesome content.

Yeah, we want more of this, dude. Glock 17. I like how his feet are in this picture still. What is he? I yeah, what is he trying to say here? I don't know. There is some deeper meaning here. It's kind of like when Tony had the gun

where he's smoking a cigar. How many podcasts does Bapa have? 17, maybe. Oh, and he doesn't have five. You try to make me move to Austin? Yeah. Oh, we're moving to Austin. He just has a gun in his hand.

Oh, yeah, we're moving to Austin, huh? He's threatening shop. He's smoking a cigar. You just don't see it. Smoke coming out. It is, you know, it's a childish thing, really. I mean, these guys haven't really grown up. I mean, neither have I, but I try to pretend like I have at least.

The illusion of an adult, right? I like that. But they don't even, they're like, nah, dude, gun, cigar, fucking drugs. Drugs. Like, fucking, I'm 45. I had 12 beers last night. My friend's gay. Yeah, they're like, I fucking show my cock to a three-year-old.

They're like, whatever the fuck. I don't know what the fuck they're talking about. Let's see here. That's a promotion. Let's see. This is posted by psychic scientist. Tim Kennedy gets blackballed from the firearm ministry, Thank him.

Tim Kennedy probably could have picked any other event. Be good for you. So it's just a bunch of negative comments. Oh, there are some things we need to clarify. Tim Kennedy is not and has never been an employee, brand investor, paid influencer of staccato. What is staccato? I don't know.

Damn. All right. Well, he's getting good douched. That's funny. It's like his toe holds. It's a sandals company, the flops. I'll tell you the...

For veterans. Read the room, y'all, posted by a haphazard. We haven't seen this, right? No. I don't think so. Let's see what this is. I'll tell you, the biggest,

the biggest thing, the most wildest thing to me of all the Grammys, Kendrick Lamar wins Grammy of the Year for not like us. The entire crowd filled with Pitos. Start lyricking, mimicking his lyrics. Lyricking. I mean, all of that was pretty redacted.

Filled. Yeah. My buddy Gikuni here, filled with Graves disease. He sounded like Vince McMahon. You're fired. Really? Yeah. The Drake word minor.

They're all like, minor. and fucking Beyonce's dancing. Meanwhile, her husband, Jay-Z, is under investigation for a minor. It's interesting. It's so weird. So weird. Read the room, y'all.

Yeah, read the room. Oh, really, dude? Allegations that the 40-year-old comic and actor has been sexually harassing underage girls began surfacing this week after one alleged victim claimed that the Netflix series U actor once asked her for new pictures, knowing that she was underage.

Peach. Peaches. Deli. Delight. Delight. Delight. Yeah, Shab. Take that. Fucking idiot. Mm-hmm. You dummy. Read the room, y'all. What? What? Let's see. This is posted by 12 washing beard. In all-time classic, that still holds up today. The Gringo Papi. That's facts. That is facts.

What do they hear us talking at the water cooler? Because this is me every day. You know? And I'll, you have a shout out to whoever posted this because, like, dude. I mean, you just nailed it. Sick poster. Yeah. One of the best, the album art doesn't get enough. Shout out, like the Mexican flag, dude. The fucking, the fucking cool tattoos.

Yeah. That's a great fucking thing. Yeah. This is easily the funniest Callahan has been posted by Accomplished Gap, 4690. Let's see what part they're talking about. Okay. Why isn't it opening? I would never say who I don't think is funny.

It's so mean. Okay, let me phrase it like this. Is Theo Vaughn funny? Yes. He's very funny. Yes. Is your co-host funny? I think my co-ho, you mean on the fighter and kid?

You didn't say, I said, Joe Vaughn funny. On the fighter and kid? He's very funny. No, he's not. Oh, come on. Oh, come on. That's great. Yeah.

Great moment. Never seen that. Let's see this one. in any facet posted by Kabeeb time. I'm not defending Bryce in any facet. But continues to defend Bryce. Nuts. Let's see.

This is whore nothing, 978-9. Mischwab riding in an electric car. It's a problem B. Oh, fuck. Yeah, I saw this one already. How are Uber consistently awful at driving the stop and go

and heavy on the break? It's taking everything in me to not puke all over his lovely Tesla. Yeah, I mean, electric cars. We know that. That's why. That's why you want to puke. Yeah. They're in one of those things, your fucking pussy drives up. Yeah. Is this a pussy driving or is that a man?

Yeah. He's got the mascot. He's probably been vaccinated a thousand times. Probably voted for Kamala a thousand times. Even his ear is sad. His ear's like, oh. He's not a fucking he would never, he wouldn't last a day

in Austin. Not a chance be. Have you ever been in a Tesla? No, dude. I have. Really? Yeah. Where are you okay?

Yeah, it's nuts, though. I was in one for the first time, not too recent. Oh, yeah? Mm-hmm. When my mom, when I was getting, like, when she was having me, like the day I was born, they didn't even go, they didn't get like an ambulance. They drove her to the hospital in a truck and a Ford Lightning. In the back.

She's in the back of the truck. just like this and the bed, the truck bed. Because my dad was like, dude, we're a truck family. Yeah, you were delivered on the wheel well. Always been a Porsche family posted by Horan Nothing. I rolled down the thing that you put. What's the thing that you plop out? I don't know.

No things before you bring them up. Tailgate. I rolled down the tailgate. Yep. Horror Nothing, 97, 8, 9, 9 posted this one. Always been a Porsche family exploring the streets of Texas. Good for her. You know, you gotta always be looking for your next move, right?

That's what fucking successful people do. Yep. I speak for all of California when I say, Good riddance. The graph experiment posted this. Uh-oh. Denmark is reportedly planning on increasing tariffs for Ozzyc 5 by 500% for the U.S. only.

Hell yeah, dude. Fuck. Oh, oh, oh, shit. The tariff. Yeah, it would be bad news for Brennan. Yeah. Various Concept 2-615 posted this one. Get the Friars ready.

Jerry Fight Companion. Damn, that's today, dude. Dicey, dice. People are asking if we're going to do a stream today. Hell no, dude, I'm barely awake. Nah, fam. Damn, but I'm excited for that. Yeah.

It's with the four of them. Who's this other guy? Is that Joey Diaz? He lost weight? That's, I forget his name. Brian Simpson? Yes, Brian Simpson. Matt, something.

Sarah? Yes. Okay. Shout out to them. I'll be watching from my apartment. Let's see. This is haphazard. The guys finally heard him say Super Ball.

Oh, let's hear. Okay. It's called the Super what? Bowl. He's saying ball? Like B-A-W. Yeah, like you're like some kind of European.

That's a Super Bowl or they throw? Yeah. He's like a terrible Uber driver. Who you got in his Super Bowl? Ball. Guys, I went to Can I tell you something real quick? I went to Starbucks again. This new thing called a

Kurtado. Oh, dude. Hey, hold on. Hold on. Yeah, it's 2.13. No, he just found out what a Cortado is. Just like you just found out you're saying Super Ball. You just found out what a Cortado. But I had to go to the bathroom. It's the movie where it's the Draclia.

Draclia. Oh, is it? Did the take place in the Super Bowl? Dracula was like a Superball. Damn. Hello, my name is Dracula, and I'm at the Super Bowl. Oh, I'm sorry, I'm a Uber. I'm your Uber driver. That's how you say it.

Dracula. Dracula is like the black, uh... Your Blackula. I'm gonna suck your blood out your neck, bitch. Y'all never see your shit. Y'all have seen Blackula? You ever see me in the mirror? No.

Exactly. But I love whores. Duce's. Of course. What if they had a meeting before the show, like, all right, Brian, we got to be honest with you. Like a lot of the content making funny

he was doing pretty good. And they show them charts. They're like, okay, so this episode, me and Eric, are Montes are going to talk about how you say Roar Trong. And like, we're going to, we've researched and these are the bits

that we're going to try out. And Brennan looks at him. He goes, genius. That's awesome. Let's do it. Let's run. And then they're like, what are you talking about?

What? And then they're like, we're starting with super. Super Bowl. He's like, no, come on. Eric was like, he said terrible Uber driver. Why is an Uber driver got to be terrible? Just because he said a word wrong. Yep. Eric is a little bit a blog bus. I'm on Eric side, dude. You know what you're over drivers have to pronounce it all the where are we? America. Do you speak English? All right? Fair enough. Mm-hmm. Take me to my motherfucking Chipotle dog. Come on, britt. Chappalay. Mm-hmm. She, sometimes you're going to get to

just poll lady stack it up over a week. That's toast. You had a chicken ball or a brito ball? Chicken bowl. Ball. Same thing. Same facts. All right, Bapa's next grift posted by Peter Gouch Sr.

This trends at least once every two months. Yeah. A Porn Hub post. It's funny. Yeah. Thick boy gang gang gang. Gang bang. Oh, no.

Why is George in there, dude? George, you know, he's part of the show. They changed the locks, though. George don't got the key. Let's see. This next one is Chin's Insta story, question mark. Joe Rain posted this. Just.

Not real. Very funny. Unscale of the Diet Coke, though. Crazy. That is very funny. It is cool if he's doing that, though, too. You know? Day, no judgment.

Behind the scenes with producers. Yeah, that's clearly salt. That's not cocaine. Because if it was cocaine, it would, be in my nose. It's not real because there's no gun. Mm-hmm. Oh, legal age of gun.

Ari Clowns DeLea for being a PDF file posted by Mike Honcho himself. Seven. Let's see here. Sent in Estonia, guess. 15. 14. 14. 14, maybe.

You know. That's where Chris Delea fucked up. Location, location, location, location. Oh, my God. Here is a pet file back in Estonia. My man's a gentleman. Wow. Not for me.

Yeah. Great comic, not for me. Yeah, dude. How about you be funny next time? You are never good. Your clips are always bad and have been said many times before. Brendan Cooney has a smother teeth. If he did that, that would be good.

But that would be too original for him. But in Estonia, he has. has a big gum I took an edible and it didn't work but then 30 minutes later I was like whoa jazz

Tony Hinchcliff fuck me he does Brian Calumbo with an Estonia accent Oh fuck I told you this a long time ago Yeah I forgot You know I have graves

Yeah but I guess that's original In a way Fusion dishes here This smug ass face when Bapa feels like he drops knowledge posted by Hot Pot Sentimal. Yeah. Damn, dude.

His face could be like a thing that pops up. You know, like the paper clip on the old word. Like that could be like the paper clip or this face. Yeah. Got a question? Oh, floppy. Yeah, floppy. It looks like they're like,

hey, Brandon, what should we name the dog? He looks like that and he's like, Donnie. Give it back. Give it back tank. Bye. All righty. Next joke. Next one is Caterpillar Hot 7539. This week's new persona selling calabasas.

Oh, my gosh. Interesting. Three deals in one hour. So is this on Drive Fast podcast? What channel is this on? I think that's fake, but it would be funny as fuck if he did a real estate bit. Yeah. That would be funny.

So in the middle of trying to work on my truck. My house got sold. I've always been kind of a guy that's in a, like, real estate money, making it happen. And I don't know why I'm doing that voice for shop, though. Yeah. I sold my house. I flipped it for $3 million. And I asked you guys, can you give me more money than that?

Mm-hmm. Got it done. Instead of calling it dry fast all gas, he should have called it West Ghost Choppers. Why? I don't know. Just because it's, I don't know. I tried. I mean, it's better than dry fast all gas.

Mm-hmm. Let's see here. Luke doesn't rate the Rogan hackpack. Post by Lou Mabow. Let's see here. Attachment to Magh be his downfall. No. His show has turned into Rush Limbaal with DMT and shit comedians.

Well, it's always had shit comedians. Skits and bits. That's hilarious. Hell yeah. Teach his own. I think it's probably the best comedians. there. Luke is a good guy.

It depends on how numbers you count it or whatever. Only 250. I've been on it. The Grammys make me sick. Only inviting Pito is posted by various consent 2615. Wow, this is the best post of the week right here. Damn, dude, calling him out for his idiocy.

Very stupid. Read the room, y'all. What room were you reading then, Brendan? Not that one. Oh, dude, come on. No, I have inside knowledge. I was a double agent. that's why you stopped because when he went, he was like, oh my God.

Everyone hears a pedophile. I'll never do this again. I better bet on myself. I better bet on myself. Let's see here. What the fuck? Yeah, dude. Upstairs, patient 373.

Yeah, dude. We were talking about this last time. He don't look good. No. Oh. Look, evil does this to a man. Right? You're bad inside.

Eventually outside bad too. Yeah. Too many hot chips can lead down a treacherous road. That camera angle is not helping. All of these pictures looks like each one of them looks like he caught his dick in something. These are all stills from this song. That's when he's trying to like not. No, like, if there's a way to, like, not let anyone know that I've caught my dick in something?

And the rest of him were just screaming for help. Please. He's trying to describe how it got caught. He's like, I don't know. My dick is stuck in the pie. That's the first try to get it out. Ah! Ah!

Oh, fuck. He's resigned now. He's like, all right, fine, it's just stuck for a guy. He's like, who needs a dick? Yeah, I don't care. Yeah. I don't have a dentist. I might as well not have a dick.

This is also how hard you laugh when you've done something terrible. Yeah. And you finally feel good again. Yeah, for that 15 seconds before you remember what you did. Oh my God. So funny. Why did I do that? Yeah, let's see.

The 250 fucking suck B. Confident search 8648 posted this one. I pray to God somebody said that. A brand new minute from one of the hardest working men in all of the Austin, Texas comedy scene. This is the return of Cam Patterson, everybody. I was around the fires. I was there. I blamed the gays.

That's who I blamed for. It's funny because I was riding around and I seen all the houses on fire and shit. And you know it was crazy? You know, it was still standing? You know it was still standing? All the ash and the rubble and all the fires. What was still standing was brick chimneys. Why not make the houses out of that next time?

That makes the most chance ever, you fucking dumb-ass niggas, hey. Let's keep going with airplanes for 200. Airplanes for 200. And what is the deal with the black box? Tommy. It's the only thing that survives a crash. Why don't they build the whole plane out of the black box? You know who happy?

Asian niggas. They are Asian as shit. Dude, bad comedy, funnier than good comedy. Sorry. Strikes again. It's better to be not good. So take that. If you're a comedian, you're thinking about being a comedian, start writing jokes about gays, Asians.

Cheat on your wife. Take some adderall. Hit up way too many women on Instagram. You know what I mean? Yeah. Keep it thick. Three Cs. If there was a horrible fire recently, blame it on the people.

Yeah. That's good. That's your way of calling the Palisades gay. Wait, I don't know. I was like, I don't think it's like, Cam, Cam said that, like, they should build the house out of a. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I don't know, dude. I don't understand why he blamed it on the gays. That I don't get at all. Maybe that's just the joke. Yeah, I don't know. That was like a whole one section, not explain. then he went into the brick thing. I don't know why he's blame it on the gays.

I would have said, I blame it on the Coonies. I mean, the Cam, Cam's saying blame him like, I think he probably just did that because that like kills in Austin. It's just like,

that's really all you need to say. He just go, in the gays. And then like everybody there's like, oh, he's one of us. We haven't read a book in 17 years. I'm going to go to Austin and be like,

I'm a doctor. I delivered a baby yesterday. Turns out it was gay. You killed. Yeah. he'd be rich. Austin just passed out for a second there when I said that. Posted by Dandy Kaufman, this one is called, the Bryce quote, is not a bad dude, end quote,

just a byproduct of social media and he's a kid, 30 year old. Let's see here. Bryce is like some evil kid and, you know, I think Bryce is a product of the current society obsession with social media. I don't think he has a background in history. especially when it comes to World War I and World War II and Hitler and Germany for that matter. I think he's homeschooled, if that's right, or he dropped out of school early. Point is, is he's not the most educated dude to give these hot takes.

That's fine. Freedom of speech. He's welcome to say what he wants to say, but you just got to be ready for the repercussions when you say some wild crap like he said. You don't think he knows that, though? He said that knowing that. Yeah, no, I mean, what he did is an excusable. I don't think what Job is saying is wrong in the sense that he doesn't know anything about history.

And he was probably homeskills and he's an idiot. Right. So that part actually is true. And he probably is a product of social media. Because if you go on Twitter now, it's all Nazi crap. So I understand that. But it doesn't excuse. I go on Twitter too.

I don't believe the Nazi crap I read. I don't then go, huh. you know what also, I think it's, Haler was right. You know, like that doesn't, you have to be a moron to. So that's, that's what's lacking from this critique. So I'm not defending Bryce in any facet, but I think you guys need to realize that this is a kid, he is a kid, this is a kid who probably is on social media

and his algorithm, for better or worse, is filled with this narrative that he is kind of pushing. And there's much smarter people than him pushing this narrative. And he's more smarter people. And they're also kind of right. A lot more these days. But remember, Bryce is a fact. He's not a bad person.

He's not a bad dude. He's not at all. Do you think he was in the bunker? and they're like, we lost, sir, we lost. And he's about, he's loading the gun with his wife, Eva Brown, and he's like, wait for eight or give it like 80 years, dude. Hitler's return is either Bryce or Shab. Kanye.

Yeah. But what Bryce is, he's in this bubble. They saved his brain. Kanye is like, how much from Hitler's brain, man? buys it. And he's the perfect storm of grown up super religious, which most of those super religious people don't mess around with the gay stuff. And then so when he's seen online,

it's really not that bad bad. It's not good. When he sees online, like the transgender stuff and pushing this. And, you know, there's these safe rooms where kids can come out if they're gay or trans. So when he's constantly seeing that in his algorithm or on the news, he's like, and you remember, he's a religious dude. he's like, what the fuck? The world's turning to shit.

So he's just this byproduct of that. Imagine being compassionate for Bryce Mitchell after he said all that stuff. But then they put five anchors on a UFC card and you are so pissed about it, dude. Yeah, yeah. That is a lot of, that's a great point. He's only, he's worried about the guy that loves Hitler and all that. Yeah. But the fucking, just the idea of black anchors, he can't.

They're there because they're black. There's no compassion there. We get it. There's no, we get it, Bryce. We get it. That's where you should have a we get it. That guy that's saying that crazy shit. Most of me were going to ride him off.

Can't wait to see him fight next and get his ass whipped. But you got to step back a little bit and just be like, the kid is a product of the current climate we're living in. his face that's the face where do you get a hat like that I don't know the Marl Store

I wonder if somebody was with him when he bought that hat and they were like yeah get it it was a gift he's like folks sick somebody trolling him a homeless cat

sent him 10 30 I'm a big fan wear this on the show please damn I'm really upset there's no Antonio Brown clips

you think there would be. Maybe it wasn't a good show. Maybe. Probably not. They're probably a best show ever. Posted by Confidence Search 86, 48, Rinks playing Bloomingdale's Minnesota. 10.30. AM. I mean, PM. And you're going to Bloomingdale, man.

And I do Bloomington, Minnesota. Bloomingdale. Even when I was saying Bloomingdale, I'm like, isn't that like a store? It's not a city? Maybe the city was named it to the store, store in the city something. When you said that I thought it was like a joke like he's going to have to play a Bloomingdale's

like at the store. He's going to have to work in the store. He has a shift at Bloomingdale's. He's helping you find his shirt. He's folding pants. 122. All right kids. That's it. Tune into the fight companion myself.

Joseph Rogan brother of Bloomingdale, man. Now I go to Bloomingdale, man. Then I go to Bloomington, Minnesota. Very funny. He's just a product of the current climate of social media. That's what it is. I'll defend it up to the dead. Okay, so this is, B talks about kids posted by Waterdune 1984.

Let's see here. Do you have any kids? I do. God damn them to hell. I want to watch that all episode now. I know. I was waiting for this episode to even think about watching it. Now I want to watch it just because he's good.

I'm wishing death upon you and your whole family. Let's see. He would never say anything bad about L.A. posted by haphazard. Oh, come on. Let's end on this one. Okay. Because it's a two minute, 38 second hazard clip.

Yeah, you want to try new bits and you should go. You always got to do new material. good for you. Yeah. Be good for you. Daddy has a little reservations about going to Austin and now it's getting real. Daddy. He said, Daddy.

Daddy's not so much sure about making Austin this new grandfather. Me? Yeah. No. But anything new? He didn't know. Me. He was like, are you daddy or am I daddy?

Who's daddy? Who's daddy? Who's daddy right at this time, dude? Who's fucking daddy? It was always a little bit scary. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And I'll miss how I.

I've been here a long time, man, 30 years. Oh, don't get it twisted. You and I, I think I can speak for you. We're not those guys that leave L.A. And then trash L.A. I love L.A. Wow. This is going to eat them in the ass later, dude.

Or how are the same? Or about right now. It's not going to be a hot second. Wait until they go to Austin and they start talking shit about L.A. Yeah. Then that's the fucking beginning of every clip right there. Every Nate. Yeah.

Oh, really? dude. No, this is a lot. I absolutely adore it. This has been our home. Yeah, I love it here. There's so many good things. There's a lot of shitty things, but there's so many good things.

So many good things. So immediately talked to the middle. Yeah, I have to say, I'm, I, just have anxiety overall right now. Because there's so much changing. And then also, also the thing today, while we're doing this podcast early, is that slant back, come view.

I've been working on since September. we got finished it tonight because I got to drive three hours to Johnson Valley King of the Hammers we got finished tonight. Yeah. I hit the guy up last night. He's like, we'll be get ready to button down. You can't help himself.

He talks about, so I have a friend in the group chat that will just bring up people that we don't know. He'd be like, you know my brother Dave and we never knew he had a brother, right? He acts as if like he's been telling us about Dave for years. Another Dave tale. Yeah. And so it's annoying.

and that's what Brennan does with cars. He just says things that you don't have any idea what he's talking about. You know we got that HVXC clamp. You got to drive that up and it's finally done. Johnson Valley is going to be a weather night tonight. King, what do you say? He was like, King of the Hammers.

King of the Hammers. What are you talking about? Well, keep it taking the shock value. Nobody knows. Brian clearly doesn't know what you're talking about. You fucking asshole. your wife, kids, and I'd be home early tonight. You'll get it done.

Also, I heard, I forget who said this, but no one remember you working late except for your kids. No one. The people you work with, your employee, the boss, nobody will remember you working late, but your kids will.

Yeah. That's why I hate whenever I miss anything, I fucking hate it. Yeah. Hate it. You're going to get it done. We'll get it done. We'll get it done.

We have a squad. We'll get it done. It's all that. It's just anxiety. And then I got to drive it well, but, you know, it's a three-hour drive up there. It's a brand-new truck. Something goes wrong. I'm stuck on the side of the road.

There's no wipers. It's raining. There's no wipers. That's why there are no wipers? Why would you drive a truck in the rain that doesn't have windshield wipers? Put windshield wipers on it. That's not even a hard thing to do. I think you can do that yourself.

If has no wipers, it has no wipers, I'm thinking. Not at all. You know how to replace the wiper. You don't have to make the mechanism that makes the wipers grow. Yeah, I'm being dumb. But he should know. He's a truck guy. Yeah, you're right.

But why doesn't have it at all, though? I'm on your side. How does he not have that, though? How does he fit in that thing? It's an HVACC clamp. That's why, dude. Well, why wouldn't he go to the king of shocks? Well, that's great question.

The king of hammers has the shocks of the kibatech, and when you put the wipers in, it doesn't really let the engine run as it goes. It's like traction control when you should be in Baja mode. Yeah, dude. Anyway, so yeah, we'll never trash L.A. Just like plugging it into random conversation. Yeah.

We'll see. That's a goddamn issue. We'll see. How are there no wipers? I took them off. I didn't like the way they looked. Can't hit. Okay, never mind.

So I'm on your side 100% now. So he does not at do. Mm-hmm. What? I took them off. Okay. It never rains in Austin. Come off.

Yeah. You see? Hey, now I regret it. Yeah. Let's get those back on. Can you get them back on? You know what? Even Brun was like, yeah, we're going to need wipers, I think, just for the drive up.

The Johnson Valley is dry and sunny right now, but driving up there, you might need them. I went, no doubt. Because you have them, right? I went, for sure. I went to the garage and I can't find him. That sounds like me. Yeah. He's got a grave disease.

It's like when I did with the shelves, I was like, I'd move the shelves somewhere. I don't know where they are. They're over there. Yeah. It's like, what's it called? He's like, I was looking for the wipers, found out got a lot of mold. Fuck you. You won't.

You won't. And that's the thing. No. When it starts raining really heavy, you can't see anything. That's safe. Yeah, but since September working on it. And then today's the final day. Just anxiety.

How about the fact that last time you were in this exact same area, another thing happened with a car? Remember that? You're talking about when I flipped the T. Yeah, Johnson Valley is where I flipped the TRI. Right. We were talking about... Clearly, that's what she meant, you moron monkey.

You monkey-brained idiot. I like how he started to mansplain it. Like, what she's trying to say is that I flipped the DRA. He wouldn't let her have that joke. Yeah. No jokes for women on this show. All right, that's it. See you next week.