10 Minutes of Schaub - Brendan Schaub got FIRED from a job he QUIT | 10 Minutes of Schaub #132

Episode Date: December 20, 2024

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Now when I was just a little child Selling lots of comic books My momma said, Brent, don't let the man in the, in the house with me You're a blockbuster You're a blockbuster, nah, nah And I can remember the words of my guy. Get you one of them as a kid. And I can still hear my old time dog bark.

Gave him back a I don't care. Gave him back a I don't care. Living capacity Living capacity Living capacity Lord, Lord One take Stop at my favorite time of the week When you get the ear pop, I try to speak

Release surprises today. You better act fair. Watch 10 Minutes of Shop. Welcome back to 10 Minutes of Shop. Thanks for tuning in. As always, join the Patreon, join the Reddit. We stream live on Wednesdays now. On the Patreon, we watched Anthony Jeselnik's thing.

What was it called? Bones and All. Bones and All. Bones and All. That's right. And I didn't remember the name, but it's a great comedy special. Never seen it. If you want to see what we really thought about it, check out the Patreon, Diddy. Legion of Skanks was hating on it, dude.

Really? Yeah. I thought it was funny. Yeah, I thought it was good. Or did I? Oh. Okay. Anyways, they're not here for that.

Start the timer now. Play the chin clip. All right. anyways they're not here for that start the timer now play the chin clip all right so we're uh we got a lot of weeks to get through this chip clint and um so we're gonna skip the tim kennedy stuff right because the reason that we're gonna skip the tim kennedy tim kennedy stuff i said tim kennedy is because he's still looking for hitler oh okay yeah you're right we have to give him you know i mean this is this important stuff uh and because there's so much other abapas out bopping myself this week dude yeah shout out to haphazard a lot of the clips i saw this week from haphazard or fucking fuego dude as we say in my

culture he works hard in the kitchen that's that's facts yeah look i do i move the camera more that way and you're still trying to get to like the edge of the frame let me get in here daddy let me get close and any family start doing like shove to like the edge of the frame. Let me get in here, Danny. Let me get close. I'm going to start doing like shove. Yeah, there you go. I want you to touch me. All right. I won't say that again. Let's see here. Oh, who posted this one? This is Confidence Search 8648.

Oh, fucking black screen, dude. God damn it. We're working through it. The Hungry Wolf's new special is worse than the Gringo Poppy. It's called this one. Let's see here. How about one more time for Joe Rogan? I've been besties with Joe Rogan for 15 years

and I'm looking for an upgrade. You're welcome. I was able to say fag on that Tom Brady roast for some reason. Looked him right in the eyes. Called him say fag on Tom Brady roast for some reason looked him right in the eyes, called him a fag fag that it happened, they never spoke of it again on the live we kept calling him a goat

we talked about this a lot on our live but what I'm noticing now is that Tony is kind of like a Sesame Street character like a maybe X-rated Sesame Street he's like Oscar the Grouch he has the same

kind of cadence but he's just saying stupid shit stuff that not neither kids nor adults would enjoy yeah welcome to

Kill Tony Street or something like that welcome to Sixth Street and he has Big Bird vibes too a little bit you know

Big Bird Big Bird Oscar the Gr little bit. Big Bird. Oscar the Grouch. Animal. He's got a lot of Sesame Street tendencies. Cookie Monster if he was gay. Is Cookie Monster gay? No, if he was gay. What the hell? No.

No. You don't want that. I've been doing this every fucking night for almost 18 years. Somebody in the audience is like, oh. They're like, darn, that's dark. At the comedy store. Speaker?

I'm a speaker? Hulk Hogan's over there tightening his bandana. What? I bought my own fucking round trip flight. I Googled Trump at Trump rally. I popped up. Did you guys know? I think it is genuinely worse than the Gringo Poppy.

Oh, yeah. 100%. I mean, the Gringo Poppy is fun to watch. We've watched it like 30 to 40 times each probably. Oh, speak for yourself, Daddy. You want more? More, dude. Yeah, well, you're a numbers guy.

Yeah. And he looks like he's got a boner there. Yeah. That's good. Doing it like a cool black guy thing. Like, fuck yeah. But like black. Which, by the way,

is a 10 star joke. I mean, I was there to do jokes. And I like fat ladies, by the way. Just to let the little thickies in the room know. Thickies. She goes, I have health rights. I go, lady, you're fat. You're fat coming

from a guy that looks like me all fucking lean and shit. He was wearing that shirt. To the lady. She was like, yeah, cool shirt, bro. You, what do you, were you forced to wear that? It looks like a shirt that you would wear if you were kidnapped. You know, like you have no choice against your will is what I'm saying. Yeah. No premeditated. No, you didn't put that on yourself. Yeah.

Someone forced you to wear that. Oh, it's time for my favorite time of the week, dude. Guild guitars clips. Let's see here. This is called. I have thick skin.

Let's see. It seemed to, You seem to be good at just focusing on what you can control and not letting the negativity get to you. I have thick skin. I have big shoulders for a reason. I was built for this. I have big shoulders for a reason.

Here's my whole thing with if you want to squash the beef, whatever, if he has beef, that's fine. I dare you. I dare you. I dare you. I forgot about that. Watch out. You don't talk like this in my face.

I'll fly to New York. If you're going to talk shit, whether it's a fighter, football player, comic, podcast, or whatever it is, on the streets, man, there's going to be repercussions. Well, there's going to be repercussions. Well, there's repercussions. There has to be repercussions for your actions. You just can't fire off at the mouth and not expect consequences. You have to back up all that shit

you're talking, man. Oh, and you're going to physically hurt each other? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. We're human beings. Yeah, with Steve, I have no issues with it. It doesn't bother me. Obviously, I get a lot of it. We can go in the back room and figure it out. It's easy to find.

You sign papers that you're not going to sue or anything like that, and you figure it out. Sit down. What are you going to do, Nate? Volume punch me, motherfucker? It's so funny that he's always calling people to fight. Yeah, man, I got thick skin. Dude, nothing falls right off on my shoulder, dude. Doesn't count. That's what I don't yeah man I got thick skin dude nothing just falls right off on my shoulder dude doesn't count

that's what I say seven seven clips of him saying he's gonna murder people over a small like old pussy shop like that's not enough

for me to when I kill someone and you got violence in your DNA yeah dude I'm very violent many of guys that you fuck with

I don't give a fuck you're from Sacramento. What world are you living in? Cut the bullshit. Pull the fuck up. I'll drop my kid off at fucking practice, roll over, twist your fucking neck off, and then pick him up just in time. On skate. On skate.

And then you gotta, I gotta picture like the music is so funny. There's some guy like, he's just playing the bass. He's got sunglasses on. Shop says on skates, motherfucker. He tips his sunglasses. Then he goes, he's just like, you could have done this, man. Yeah.

That's a role for you, lady. With a Diet Coke. With a Diet Coke. For the rest of your fucking life, bud. I don't have insecurities. That's bullshit. More than fucking four to five. You ain't shit.

You need to have a lesson. I'll be the, I'll be your huckleberry. Cause here's what's real. I will fuck you up. I will fucking fuck you. I will twist your fucking neck off. I will snap his fucking neck.

I will fuck you up. Don't let me stop and twist your fucking neck off. I will snap his fucking neck. I will fuck you up. Don't let me stop and twist your fucking neck up. That's what I do. That's what men do. Are you good? I just want to keep going. I had a great weekend, dude. And he had a peach's delight. I had a great weekend, dude. Oh, man, dude. Guild of Guitars is on some other shit yeah that's true dude i mean that

look before that clip we had one macchiato after that clip we had deuces macchiato um real quick this one is called dog it's posted by a big battle 94 16 as you can see they edited in boppa landown i think this this is him sleeping at his kid's game or something. And as you can see, Annie's up there. You know what I mean? Walking to the truck. Shit, dude. I can't believe she did that.

That's great. That's a crazy painted narrative. This one's posted by Cats4Christ. Yo, something about the way Tony wears his watch over half his sleeve be looking real feminine to me, dawg sleeve yeah wow yeah dude dude he finds new ways to be uncool yep that's awful um let's see here this one's posted by confidence search 8648 the interns are moving from their pod away from thick boy Stew's network, and Hot Chip is talking with monster lawyers after the Elephant Graveyard video. What?

Let's see. The After Hour is going to be moving to its own YouTube channel, youtube.com slash at After Hour Pod. We want to see how much we can grow the channel on our own. You know, a lot of people are calling us the bad boys at Thickboy Studios. Also, conspicuously absent from this episode was any acknowledgement we can grow the channel on our own. You know, a lot of people are calling us the bad boys, the thick boys studios. Also conspicuously absent from this episode was any acknowledgement of the elephant graveyard video. My lawyer sent it to me, unfortunately,

right after we finished recording this episode last Tuesday. We're going to respond to the full episode on that first episode airing on the new YouTube channel next week on the episode with Brian Callen. So it should be a fun one. Dude dude it's so hard to trust chang's like it looks like ai yeah it looks like they fucking ai the lawyer thing in there i can't i just the i feel so stupid that i thought the fish thing was real how could i think that that was real yeah it was probably i mean that's before we knew i had grave disease but that is

funny yeah yeah dude i mean so apparently they're gonna uh they're going to address so why would his lawyer why it's kind of like he's turning in the shop a little bit he's like i didn't see it friend of mine was driving you know what i mean get my if you want to know yeah friend of mine sent me the video my lawyer My lawyer is my best friend. Yes. You know? Learn from the master, right? But never outshine the master.

So he's learning what Schaub does, but he's doing another channel so that it's not fucking with anything Schaub goes on. It's perfect thinking, honestly. It's also like a redacted mob movie. You know, like saying like, I got my lawyers looking into it to make elephant graveyard shaking his boots or what i don't get it to me it was weird it's almost sounded like he was saying that to create views for the show right maybe instead of lawyer he meant like oh someone told me i shouldn't talk about it because we're going to talk about it on the show like what does the lawyer have to do with anything i don't i don. The lawyer, he's like, my lawyer.

At first, the interns at Thick Boy have lawyers? I guess they're getting paid better than I thought. But I guess he's Theo's producer, so that's a big show. I don't even know why he's fucking with this shit. If I was Theo's producer, that's a huge show, right? Yeah. Just live off that. Yeah.

Scoop up the bag. I think I know why. Why? He wants to be, why? No, I'm not going to say why. Jesus Christ, dude. Dicey, dicey. Yeah, right.

We don't fuck with him anymore. Yeah, and then let's just leave it at that. This one's posted by Ol' Barney, Rockabye Boppa. Lil' Rogi Sleepytime Cuddle Baby. The Kibbetech sticker. That's classic. Kibbetech. Very good.

We got it right here, daddy. You can't get that unless you get it right from the source. Shout out to Kibbetech. Very good. We got one right here, daddy. You can't get that unless you get it right from the source. Shout out to Kibbetech. They responded to the comment once, and I'm going to buy a truck soon. They don't sell trucks. All right. But I'm going to buy a truck so I can, you know, Kibbetech it. Yeah.

Come on. This is the first haphazard clip of the week. A janitor's work ethnic updated. Oh, shit. Pretty awesome. I'm excited for you to see this if you haven't seen it already yeah let's see you know i was a janitor for a short period of time when i was young i was the best janitor there was i stood back to groceries and there's a kid with down syndrome who was bagging him too i hated my life and my job there so i grab all the new

magazines and candy and donuts, just sit in the bathroom, crumple up the magazines. And then I put the magazine back and finally got a meeting. And they were like, Hey, whoever the fuck is doing the magazine thing, you know,

this is a problem. Someone inside, it's an inside job doing this. And I thought the easy victim would be the kid. Oh no. I think it's Jerry. Oh my God. His name is Jerry, which is pretty funny.

Yeah, that is funny. Life imitating fiction. I mean, life imitating fiction. Fuck it. I was the best janitor there was. That'd be fun. I'm sorry. Did you say your first job was a janitor?

I was a janitor at Albertsons, yeah. Like mopping floors? Mopping, cleaning the bathroom. got fired because uh they wouldn't give me the super ball off wait you got fired because they wouldn't give you the super ball off it's not over yet ready hey so i quit so i quit i got fired because they wouldn't give me the Super Bowl off, so I quit. Just realizing where the story was leading, and he's like, I quit. That's some grave disease shit right there, dude. Yeah, I'm struggling with that one, Papa. It's like the fucking Zach Galifianakis meme. Yeah, you know Cooney's usually on your side, dude.

It's hard to put this to him together right now. I got fired because they wouldn't let me take the Super Bowl off, so I quit. That is the perfect... That's like falsely confused. Every episode, you're like, there's no way it can get better. Falsely confused. That whole thing.

That's probably the title. Janitor at Albertsons? Yeah. Mopping floors? Cleaning the bathroom. I got fired because they wouldn't give me floors? Mopping, cleaning the bathroom. I got fired because they wouldn't give me the Super Bowl off, so I quit. Also, he's cleaning the bathrooms. I'm never cleaning a bathroom again, dude.

Yeah, you can't be like Shab. No pushback at all from them? Like, were you fired or were you quit? That reminds me of that time, I've talked about it before, where we had this guy come in, we're in sixth grade, and he talked about, we had speakers talking about like not getting venereal diseases or whatever

and he said he was like I grew up in a bad home my brother was shot 6 times and my friend Othman raised his hand when they asked

if they had any questions and he said he was in 6th grade he said were you shot like 6 times once or was it 6 separate times that was the funniest thing

I've ever heard someone do until this it was when the broncos were in the super bowl and i kept getting i kept getting trouble because if i can't clean the bathroom like no doubt and you know the the five cents candy back in the day yeah i should grab a handful of twizzlers go in the bathroom grab all the old like truck and car magazines he changes the truck to truck magazines. Isn't that funny? That is hilarious. Because at first it was pornos, I'm assuming. Right?

Or something like chicks. Something like that, yeah. And now it's the truck magazines. His memory like adapts to what he wants. Yeah. I think. Well, he's also trying to make people believe that he's in the trucks since he was young. Memory adapting to what he wants.

Oh, there you go. You're right, you're right, you're right, you're right, you're right. And just sit there for hours reading the magazines and eating the candy. Yeah. And drinking rain and having a nicotine pouch in my mouth. And I had a Helix mattress in the bathroom. Devil's assistant still sounds like a pretty good janitor to me. And then finally someone was like, where the fuck is that brendan kid

yeah i mean being a i had to pick the cigarettes out of the fucking ashtray every morning i had to be there at 5 a.m soft man what was your first job bryan that work ethic came from my dad my dad blue collar self-made so when i was young he taught me the work ethic so no matter what i'm doing whether you know i was a janitor for a short period of time when i was young you know i was the best janitor there was i was there early stayed late like it's just a work ethic so wherever you put me at that work ethic isn't going to change peaches what do you think dude i mean no no lies detected i have some questions about his work ethnic for sure okay like is it real no it isn't i guess that's not a question just facts facts um you want to do an over under on

how many uh spotify raps had uh brendan chobb in them like percentage wise of america yeah more so just like a rhetorical question 40 of america this is posted by horror. Nothing. 97, 89 nightmare podcast rotation. I trolled you with this. I screenshotted this and said like, Oh shit, my shit's lit. And I, again,

I believe that it was real. I was like, damn, he listens to that. I thought you were studying your enemies. And I like how the guy Jordan Kaiser kind of admitted it. He's like, yeah,

shut up. I don't care anymore. He's embarrassed. What is crash dummies with pat and mike we gotta look into that if it made it above the golden hour yeah yeah it must be really good um uh flagrant joe rogan fighting the kid nuts dude okay this guy got dick on him dude that full nose all the homophobic jokes let's see here um this is supposed to be my subject name here i think kendrick recorded his latest album at Thick Boy Studios.

What are they talking about? They're talking about beans, cheese, beans, cheese, beans, cheese, beans, cheese. I mean, if Kendrick, we talked about this before. If Kendrick Lamar says anything that's like shabbism or shabbanese, we're going to fucking have a party. Oh, yeah, dude. Best day of our lives. Project X style party, dude.

This is posted by Confidence search 86 48 it's called of a 41 year old apprentice water let's see my boy matt from blast performance said everything we need his lips just don't look real dude no it's just i'm not even trying to be that guy because i'm his number one supporter. Dude. Yeah. It just looks, like, why don't you just admit it? You know what I mean? Being a public-facing person, you got to admit to getting work done. Also, it'd be funny if he admitted it.

It would be endearing. Like, yeah, duh, I got mine. Just like he did with Just For Men or whatever. He admitted to that. Why not admit to lips, too? What's there to lose? It's hilarious if he admits it now.

But he's just, he's a very stupid guy. Very dumb. And I would say that to his face. My boy Matt from Bless Performance sent everything we need, the entire kit,

to knock this out. So we had some goodies. We've been waiting a while for this. This has been the hold up. What are they building? A Millennium Falcon? It's a transmission, Papa. That is?

Yeah. You're a truck guy. Let me pull my insurance broke and then I'll bring it in. Okay. That's an engine. You're good at this. I might be a truck guy, dude. Look, honest, that would be the happiest moment of my life, dude.

Can you imagine the opportunity there? Yeah. The best show on earth. We both have the merged dry fast oil gas, and we do our own version of that. I'm in. I can learn from you. When I was a younger man, I was screwing a tranny, and it busted a nut in my eye. A pause? Yeah. And that's why I got a dot on, I was screwing a tranny and it busted a nut in my eye. A pause?

Yeah. And that's why I got a dot on my eye. Really? Yep. Well, don't let that stop you from, you know, that will probably only happen once or twice in your life. You wear goggles. Also, being able to tell that joke will happen once or twice in my life too. Thank you, my dear.

Thank you. Last one. Grab it for me. ass end of the gear nice he's working hard dude i mean 41 years old dude it's like you know why don't you just dude just get into gardening gardening is probably hard too dude but that might that could be a one yeah i would rather have a green thumb than a black shirt. You know what I mean? I don't know if that made sense, dude.

Oiled up shirt. No, I got it. This one's posted by Confidence Search 8648. It's called Connor's Nut. Here's the way this affects Conor McGregor. Proper 12 is his biggest nut. Now, unless he paid all cash for those those those still have a payment every month so his nut is this every month

and he can't get out of those but chances are he didn't he's obsessed with using words that he doesn't really understand like he's like it'd be funny if he just did a Sopranos thing where he's like alright so here's Connor has like this vig right and then he's gotta collect

he's gotta go around and then he fucking whacked him. He fucking whacked that guy. I almost said dog walked again, but that wouldn't work. He tried taking his nut, so he whacked him. Pay all cash. So his monthly nut, most of that was taken care of from the nut he was getting. Again, unless he paid all cash, which hopefully he did for all this,

so he doesn't have a big, huge nut month that covers my nut every single month leave this don't edit this out guilty or not all those companies jump off so you go from your nut of making 10 million dollars a It drives me fucking nuts. Nuts! I keep saying nuts, sorry. All right, what do you got, Jen? He's a master, dude. Oh, man, I love it.

He's just, he's like, the ways he's redacted, you never, there's always new. I probably say that every episode, but it's true. Who would have seen that coming? They're just going to say nut that many times and then it sounds every time

like he's talking about coming. Yeah. 21 times on a podcast says nut. Fucking public, what is it called? What does he say? That he's a black belt in podcasting? Yeah, black belt in podcasting.

He talks for a living. Yeah. What the hell, dude? I want to cover my nut. Let's see if he knows anything about work ethic again. I feel like this is probably the same clip.

Yeah, we already watched this. He updated it. So let's go to the next one. This is Careless Genius. Reason number 946 on why Kane is an all-around cooler person than Schwab. Have you seen this one? No, it's pretty great.

It's a, is this really came Velasquez eating a raspado in San Jose? Kicking his legs. Pretty awesome. I think you'd be surprised, right? Oh, he's on a pony. Yeah. He's on a pony. Joe guy.

That's cool. That's like that. Bald on a pony. Chill guy. That's cool. I like that. Bald as fuck. He's hungry. He's eating. And he'll notice he doesn't have a straw. He's not doing weird shit with his tongue. No, he's just a normal guy eating a snack.

Normal guy, normal lips. This is posted by Guild Guitars. We're getting blessed this week with two Guild Guitars clips. Quick comedy. That's never gonna happen let's see it seems like everything you've done whether it's stand up in two years or a shooting showtime special like you know i think as comedians we can be battered and be like well i'll do my 10 years and then but you were like no i'm like doing this now type deal so like is

there a mindset to you being able to excel in an industry so fast or like what do you attribute to that uh i i don't know i wish so fast? What do you attribute to that? I don't know. I wish I could because do you know how hard it is to become a headlining comic? Dude, it's so hard to be a headliner. I've been a headliner for six years now. I've been a comic about eight. What else are you going to do? Stop? Quit? No, that's not me.

Oh, really, dude? Yeah, I had to cancel Austin and Nashville. Usually I hate doing that stuff. It happens. I think this time I just don't care. That's where I'm at. I'm going to pull back from the camp so much.

I can't do it. I'm tired, man. I'm tired. I'm freaking tired. I've been hustling for 12 years now. As far as the plane life and stuff like that, I got to chill out. I need new spots in LA. I need new locals, SoCal, NorCal.

But going international or going across the freaking United States ain't happening right now. So I'm going to take a break from that. Do my thing. Do my thing, man. Falsely confused. Falsely confused. Falsely confused. Anyways. Oh, really, dude?

Oh, really, dude? I mean, that was good. We can only plead so much that he comes back to stand up. We need a Ringo Poppy deuce. I just think it's crazy not to do a second one when the first one was so, like... I game changing right like even not even doing a joke like it's a huge thing there's a subreddit is um what is it on it's top one percent and he's not gonna do a second one he could make so much money just from money from it. Yeah. But whatever. Yeah, dude.

I mean, and the Spanish language is still alive and well. He can still tear it down. That's true. He can do more damage. Yeah. He can always do more damage.

One word at a time. You know what I mean? Like, what's another Mexican dish he has in tactic? Quesado. Something like that. No,

more Mexican. Quesadilla. He should come with us to Albertsons and just write down a list. Yeah. Or we could submit our favorites. How about potato tacos?

Crema. Respado. Yeah, dude. All right, so this one's posted by Sander Flow. It's called, My Man's Crying Every Pod, Sad Attempt to Go Viral, Soy Both. Or Sad Viral Attempt viral attempt sorry I'm trying to I'll get off the dad shit after this but I'm pretty emotional about it coming off this

travel bullshit you only get 10 years you get 10 years here we go yeah I know I can't talk about a kid without fucking get emotional but here's the thing you get 10 years where you're your kid's idol.

Yeah, I saw that clip. Yeah. I mean, I get that, though. It's facts. You get 10 years with a podcast, too. Like you get 10 good years where you can talk about one guy 10 minutes a week. And then at the end of that 10 years, then you just keep doing it for another 10 years. Yeah.

Yeah. No, I mean, I was just going to say at least once a week you get 10 minutes. Dude, I'm so sorry. Once again, you get 10 minutes once a week. It's like you talk about your idol. Thank you, dude. You say that is that was right there. Yeah.

And I should have said that. That's why I was pissed while you were talking. I'm like, what the fuck? Is he not going to cry? Is he really really not gonna cry right now you're really gonna i didn't get emotional i didn't realize that you could do the 10 minutes a week thing i'm tired i have graves disease and you saved it though you did it but yeah yeah yeah you almost didn't uh this is sorry about that this one's posted by i give free tickets uh it's called a dish with everything they hate each other uh man i don't think i've seen this one i'm excited oh shit

but last night we're still moving in and cleaning up because we still yeah it's been there a while no two months nah it takes a while it takes a while i get that lady to work, man. She's working. So we have this front room. And she goes, oh, so we'll put the shoes and stuff here. And then this will be our Instagram wall. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I go. What's that mean? That's what I said when he told me. So I texted Chris.

I said, hey, just a quick question. Do you guys have an Instagram wall? Oh, we're a hype house now. Oh, we're a hype house. You should have went, oh, I'm sorry, am I Jake Paul? That's what I said, because we get like a group chat with his wife, because I wanted him and her to see this.

He's so hurt I'm not involved. Go ahead. So I said, go ahead. My family's not involved. Oh, yeah, he should talk, bro. How was Billy's birthday party? Yeah. Oh, yeah. He should talk, bro. How was Billy's birthday party? Yeah, that we didn't get invited to, bro. How was that? How was the party?

I like how catty Eric becomes immediately. He needs to be involved in these things. This is an important show. Yeah. Right? I get the anger. The show comes first. No, what about Billy, bro?

Like, who's Billy? Oh, the daughter. Whose daughter? Brendan's daughter. He's a? Oh, the daughter. Whose daughter? Brendan's daughter. He's a... The Graves disease, dude. I didn't... I've never known her name, dude. Oh, yeah.

We did like... I talked about her? Yeah. That would be so funny if there's a clip of me saying something about Billy. I can't believe her name is Billy. I don't remember that. Listen. That didn't happen.

Let's see. I wasn't there. There was no guys there. No, it was all chicks, dude. I could have invited you two, but I wasn't there. I was working. Who do you think paid for that party? We know that.

I mean, that goes without saying. That's a lot of stuff. But anyway. I would invite you if it was guys. There's no guys. I knew someone was up. Yeah, I was wondering because, oh,

now I got to text Rachel right away. Yeah. Because she was just like, they're not our friends. Oh, no. I would invite you guys if they had a party.

Oh, of course. And then D'Elia has a party going on, right? And I forgot that he had sent me to invite. Both of you. Yeah.

Okay, this is the kettle calling the pot blue but um delia looks tired of shit in that clip man yep that was what made me laugh at the beginning he was kind of just it looked like he didn't want to be there yeah which is weird you know but here i guess sometimes you get tired you're gonna you're on such a hit show that you get kind of fucking tired of it sometimes dude it's so hard to like actually podcast while talking shit about a podcast. Because it's like, God, really? That's what we're like all the time probably too.

Maybe, but no one's making a show about us yet. Yet, yet, yet. I mean, listen. Somebody's tried, but he literally gave up two minutes in. Remember that? The drunk guy, yeah. He was so drunk though. Yeah.

But we don't talk about our kids kids birthdays or whatever i'm not going because we don't have kids yet but we will i did have a grandson at one time but now i'm back to no kids oh we didn't get invited to that fucking okay fine all right here we go this is pa posted by haphazard it's called Our Day. I haven't seen this one either. Oh, my God. The fucking mouse, dude. There we go. They went three and one and then lost in the championship.

They were up the entire freaking game. The last inning just fell apart. Ended up losing by 10 runs. That'll hurt. But they did get a ring. These rings are so cheap, but these kids love them. And they love them right when they get them. And then after that, they just put them in the room because you can't rock them. He has a bunch of rings now.

I've got to be a little disappointed in the whole organization. How are you going to have a turkey bash tournament? And I thought for sure the rings would have a turkey on. Because when they played the Halloween tournament the ring was like a gold and orange pumpkin ring. They're fake diamonds but they're like a diamond crusted pumpkin. That makes sense

for Halloween. Well this is Turkey Day Bash and I was like oh dude you're about to He's cooking dude. I love it dude. To me this reminds me of like the guy at work when you're all looking at something and you're like what do you think and people are giving suggestions and then one guy gets a suggestion where you're just like all right we're moving on or like what that i'm talking about myself obviously yeah but um yeah dude what does he talk he expected he's like if you're not following along, dude,

I'm so disappointed with you, dude. Is he expecting that on the, whatever the award they get, that there's a turkey drawn on it? Dude. Yeah, like that's crazy. No, that's, dude, I wish his podcast was nothing but complaints like this.

Okay, I mean, it's funny. It's funny, but he wants a cartoon on it. I'm just thinking of him, like he thinks he's the CEO and he's giving advice like the team, they didn't get it. Obviously, there should be a turkey on these coins or whatever the fuck they are. To get a dope turkey ring,

you put in the work, enjoy the fruits of your labor. The ring didn't have a turkey on it. Is he doing a bit though? Ruined our day. Ruined our day, man. What a year. A lot of work in the travel ball. Is he doing a bit though? Ruin our day Ruin our day man But What a year

What a year A lot of work in the travel ball Only the dads know about that life Baseball dads I just don't know what the fuck Cubby dads Cubby dads I mean

I guess Well we start football in January I'm the coach Ah fuck Yes Now I'm back in That was awesome Dude I love it couch. Ah, fuck. Yes. Now I'm back in. That was awesome.

Dude, I love it. I, it may have looked like a bit. I think he is genuinely disappointed about, uh, the Turkey not being on the ring. Probably, but let me ask you a question real quick.

By the way, those are the water pipes. If you're hearing that. Yes. Um, IPL. So they have to fucking, um,

real quick. Um, when I, when, and this may be redacted but with the rings turkey on it does that literally mean that it's a ring that has like a turkey on it like the shape of a turkey or does it mean the ring drawn turkey on it probably carved turkey into the side of the ring or something like remember how like in high school you get a graduation ring and they carve things into the sides of the rings oh like a carve okay okay all right i get that yeah i mean i didn't get a high school it's like when you win an f1 race sometimes you drink milk dude you know i mean or you pop champagne sure when you win the turkey bash you get a turkey on your

ring okay well now that you've explained to me because i didn't graduate high school i went straight to ufc black belt podcasting, all that stuff. So I skipped school. You had a cappuccino. I had a cappuccino with the Buffalo Bills. But a lot of the time that I would have been in school, I was selling comic books in my house. Oh, I forgot about that, dude.

Yeah. Yeah, your mom got pretty pissed about that, dude. She did. She was all worried they were going to molest me. Because they were telling her that they were going to do that. I was like, mom, be cool, mom. Mom, be cool. Trying to make this sale.

Trying to scoop up the bay. I'm an entrepreneur. And she was an entrepreneur not. All righty. Let's see this one. It's posted by Burak Bam Bam. It's called Toe's Fake Laugh Keeps Getting Worse. He still feels it.

He's a minor. That's why Jeff Ross likes him. Well, you... Cut that. Keep it, J-Mo. His laugh sounds like the goat and Tony Hinchcliffe's garbage thing.

Yeah, it sounds like Tony Hinchcliffe saying a bad word. Virtually identical. Yeah. I'm going to start laughing like that, dude. That and that and then the fucking

D'Ealia Eagle noise. They're all the same person. All right, let's see here. This one's called Brendan confidently wrong about jujitsu posted by advanced spinach, six 50 for context, Nikki rod.

The man in this clip is one of the best jujitsu practitioners in the world currently. And they were discussing a match between him and Gordon Ryan. Like always, Brendan tries to give his expert analysis on the subject and instantly gets shut down by Nikki twice in a 30 second span. It's absolutely amazing how someone can be so confidently

wrong constantly. But I do think like when you see Gordon compete at ADCC, clearly still stud, but it's not the Gordon from, what is that, 2020 was just fucking steamrolling. He was also sick.

That's what I'm saying. Yeah, and he's older. We're the same age. Different though, right, with the miles. Yeah, I know. With miles. I've had 300 wrestling matches, 100 jiu-jitsu matches with miles.

Health concerns, maybe, right? I think Gordon... That's self... 300 wrestling matches 100 jiu-jitsu what miles health concerns maybe right I think that's self that's but oh fuck dude he pissed that guy off

that guy maybe he's just not used to Brendan saying crazy shit he went from fine to pissed within like two seconds yeah he's like what are you talking about

Brendan even wasn't not trying to like insult him in any way and the guy's like, what are you talking about? Brendan even wasn't not trying to like insult him in any way. And the guy's like, dude, what? We're the same age. God,

I'm surprised that doesn't happen more to him. People correcting him. I think people just let him get away with it. They're like, he has CTE. He doesn't know what you're talking about. He just asked for a banana. You always go to the banana.

Cause that was so funny. Who does that? Do they have like banana craft table or something? Maybe that's the reason. Before we started recording, he said, I drink a big gulp. I'm going to have to pee. This is posted by BusyMiddle8108. Just look at his eyes when the video starts playing.

It tells you all you need to know about who that video is really for. Uh-oh. I didn't really understand this one. Let me know if you got expert opinion on this. Okay. I'll try. Why keep going about being a dad all right let's get to it and don't you play that video channel i posted man that soundtrack

slaps. It's a good one. That could have been, it's the one where it hits a bomb in the middle. Jen, you are going to have to kill the music, though. You know that song, yeah? It's way harder when you have the song, but... Yeah, we've been all over, man. Chino, San Diego, Santa Barbara.

Best time of my life. I don't know. Maybe it's... This is a tough one, but it could be that it's to Callan saying like, here are other people like they're doing standup, but he's traveling all over doing T-ball coaching. Or maybe,

maybe the song was a Kendrick Lamar thing. So he's saying that fucking, even though he's calling it a soundtrack. It's not Kendrick Lamar. What if it is? Because he's not Schultz I think after watching it this time I think

I think he's just trying to connect to dads on Instagram oh okay because he's like don't play that video Chin and then Chin's like you want me to play the video right

that's what you're saying oh okay and they're just watching his content again on his show play that video, Chin. And then Chin's like, you want me to play the video, right? That's what you're saying. Oh, okay. And they're just watching his content again on his show. That's even more ridiculous. I'm trying to think of something interesting. Yeah. You're thinking too deep. You haven't listened to Kendrick Lamar's album

because that's nothing near what Kendrick Lamar put out. Well, no, no. I was thinking it would be like he was just playing. I probably didn't understand the song, what he was saying. But I was thinking like he played the songs for them, and he was like, we can't get played that because they're going to be monetized. Why would this video get demonetized?

Because the song that was on the Instagram post. Oh. That's ridiculous. Yeah. So speaking of Kendrick, out of nowhere in Peekaboo, Kendrick just goes on beans, cheese, beans, cheese. You got to check it out. See?

Mm-hmm. He might be homeless as fuck dude um let's see here this is posted by confidence search 8648 where are you gonna be be let's see here i have a very close friend my best friend who's falsely confused uh can uh accused accused uh oh my god dude this clip is so epic yeah have you seen it we watched it last week didn't we no no no

ready um rape and brian where you gonna be b mcgooby's joke house kids

timonium maryland december 6th and 7th come get some it might get cut out because the song starts playing but this is so great yeah this weekend

friday saturday i got comedy works denver colorado december 12th my friend brian count is one of the good guys It might get cut out because the song starts playing, but this is so great. This weekend, Friday, Saturday, I got Comedy Works, Denver, Colorado, December 12th. My friend Brian Cowell is one of the good guys that suffered from this. He's got 88 years old and has to tour every weekend just to make ends meet. And that's not how this is supposed to go. All right, so in Port Charlotte, December 26th, 27th, 28th. Wow. Desert Ridge Improv, January 2nd and 4th.

Holy shit. Somebody kill me, but it's going to be good. Yeah, you're doing a lot. Drive fast, all gas. This is the last. Well, next week's the last week. Ends December 15th at midnight. We got all new merch dropping next week for the last week. 50-time bonus entries. Go on and win this

badass SEMA build. Dark Horse Mustang over $820,000. Just shop talking in the background. About trucks. His face. Horsepower. Roush launch kit on it. All the Anderson composite carbon fiber all over it.

Why does he keep looking around? What else is he supposed to do? Just take it. Interior. We got new merch. The Just take it. Oh, man. Deer Hunter vibes from him. What do you think, dude? I think Brian Callen's like a week away from going to Vietnam and trying to do fucking Russian roulette with people.

They're like, it's the kid in Vietnam. The kid's here. He's fucking crazy, dude. He's done five Russian roulette rounds in a night. Rings. This one's posted by Haphazard. Another one I was very excited for you to see.

Fancy myself a fisticuffs. What do you think it's about? Fighting. Okay, let's see. see dude i went to a therapist i've been a therapist maybe twice i don't know what three times four times and i went to a guy who's a couple somebody's like no no yes i've done that but hey that's fun yeah yeah and there's that but i also went because you're playing for the red socks i play for the yankees you're both on the Red Sox.

Why am I talking to the Red Sox? Whose joke is that? That's a stand-up comedian's joke. Probably. Yeah, probably. I forget whose joke it is. I don't know, though. I could be wrong, but I feel like it's either Jerry Seinfeld or what's his name?

Andrew Santino. I don't know why they come to mind when I hear that. The Red Sox and the Yankees. I can't do that, Santino. You're playing for the other team. I forget who did that joke. They're both on the same team, and I'm on the truck team. You're both on the Red Sox.

There you go. I'm a Yankee. Why would I talk to the Red Sox? That's what it is, right? 100%. Yeah. 100%. It's teams.

Yeah. Oh, two on one. I went alone. But I also fancy myself a fisticuff. So it's like. Wow. About therapy. You didn't see it.

The fancy myself. Teams. Yeah. Oh, two on one. I went alone. But I also fancy myself a fisticuff. So it's like, oh, this is now to challenge. You fancy yourself a fisticuff. Oh, it's two on one. Oh, yeah. Fancy yourself a fisticuff so it's like oh this is now it's a challenge you fancy yourself a fisticuff

it's two on one oh yeah it's a fancier self a fisticuffs it's now i see it as like a it's like a similar to i'll be your huckleberry he's like doing a tombstone cowboy type thing right but why i don't know and i don't think anyone's ever said that i think because i i enjoy fighting is pretty direct and like you kind of understand. Fancy myself a fist of cuffs. It's like gobbledygook where you're like, oh, he fancies himself like in nice suits where he wears like cuffs or. What is that called where you use the same sound? Is it alliteration?

Oh, yeah. Something like that. Because that's like the shop or not the show. The show thing. The show thing. That's what he's trying. He's trying to be like fun and creative and lame. I fancy myself a fisticuffs. When really he's like, I like to choke people and fucking beat them up.

It is a nicer way of saying I'll rip your neck off. Yeah. You're a barking tiger at my fucking dragon. Now we're not going to get anywhere because I'm going to be super difficult. Oh, and that's why we're here, isn't it? Yes. Yeah. Yes.

I love that. Yeah, that's why you get nowhere isn't it yes yeah yes i love that yeah that's why you've done that been there uh there's that um peaches i wonder how many other sayings there are that he just does naturally all the time that we are not exposed to yet i mean keep them coming vapa fucking i can't wait for her to hear more i, we just got assaulted with like four in the last two months. Deuces Macchiato, Peaches Delight, Fisticuffs, Falsely Confused. Uh-huh. And then the one, I worked at a grocery store and they fired me because they wouldn't let me off in the Super Bowl, so I quit.

Yeah, dude. All right, this one's posted by Dandy Kaufman2. It's called I'm Hot Chip. God damn it. Here we go. I just love to infiltrate the homeless cats.

Yeah. It's an old account. It's not the only thing he likes to infiltrate. It's fun. But my Reddit history old account. It's not the only thing he likes to infiltrate. But my Reddit history informs who I am. I froze. This is bullshit.

Oh yeah, Elephant Graveyard. Elephant Graveyard is at war with Hot Ship. And I'm Hot Ship. It reminds me of us reading comments on the live sometimes. Yeah. Just reading them out loud, realizing what they say, and being like, oh, yeah, definitely, man. Yep.

But it's fun. Yeah, no, I mean, it's the best time of my life. This is fucking boring. He's doing it wrong. We're doing it right. You know why? Because I fancy myself a fisticuffs, and I'll come after you, hot shit.

True. I'm on EG's side, dude. Over here we eg dog oh yeah elephant graveyard is one of our guys never forget that yeah tusk tusk homie you know i mean yeah dude that's a delay yeah all right oh we got another Guilty Guitars clip, dude. What the fuck? I don't think I've seen this one yet. Wow. The mouse, like the longer we record, it just doesn't want to work more.

It's called Dancing. Beans Cheese, apparently. Let's see. Okay. It looks like the Dark Knight. Is it just this over and over again? It might be. It might just be over in Oregon? It might be. It might just be this.

Oh, no. Fire. Okay. Stan's coming up. Oh. He's dressed like Woody. I mean, this is just a good time. You know what I mean?

I like... Fun Boppa. Wacky Boppa. I have a feeling Deadpool's about to come up. Did he dress up like Deadpool? Yeah. It's when he showed how tiny his wiener is. Okay.

This is Rub and Tug. Rub and Tug Boppa. It's like a Barbie version of the Boppa. Redacted toy line. Mm-hmm. Can your Boppa walk Annie to the truck? He comes with a truck. Sold separately.

Goddamn jeans try to suck. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains.

It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. It remains. wow just some this is catnip right there dude you know i mean you a cat don't need it but he'll eat it right oh yeah if a cat saw this he'd eat it, right? Oh, yeah. If a cat saw this, it would eat it 100%. Let's see here. I was excited about this one also.

Black Wharf posted this one. It's called, I'm still waiting for fentanyl vapes to hit the market. Do you know what that's in reference to or no? Fentanyl vapes hit the market? No. What's that? And trainer Brian Bomack McIntyre about the idea of moving up to 154 pounds and tried to capture my feelings about a certain song from Encanto. If everyone's vaping, I might as well get on it, right?

You know, it's great, right? So Luke, here's the thing. I got to pee really bad. I'm sure you got a few other jobs or some vape channels to watch. You know what happened with vaping? What they did? Same thing. They kind of with cigarettes. They made it cool. bad. I'm sure you got a few other jobs or some vape channels to watch. You know what happened with vaping? What they did? Same thing with cigarettes. They made it cool. And then what they do? They do these skittle flavors and strawberry and make

it super friendly and smells good. But it's awful. It's worse than cigarettes for you. Terrible, right? And how many people see vaping? Chemicals. Oh, it's horrible for you. So now it's a new problem they have to do. And now what happens is the drug cartel goes hold up how many vapes are selling in america hundreds of millions let's put fentanyl in them so then you have vapes with fentanyl getting in them yeah it's it's just it's and trainer brian bomack what do you got to say about that

shocking i mean if you think there might be fentanyl in the vape, why would you smoke the vape? Right. I don't know. I have no idea what is going on. Bapa is a fucking crazy person. That is wild. All righty.

Let's see. This one is posted by haphazard. It's called purveyors of the finest fake news. Let's see here. Come out as game and get funded. Yeah. But you know what? At the end of the day fake news. Let's see here. Come out as gay and get funded. Yeah, but you know what? At the end of the day, I think that's changing too because I've got news for you. Candace Owens and Megyn Kelly

signed a $700 million deal to do a view-like show on CBS. What? Yeah. Let me say it again. Is this breaking news, Kelly? Candace Owens, Meg Ryan. Meg Ryan? That'd be sick. Sleepy as a Seattle? What's her name? Megyn. That'd be sick. Sleepy as a Seattle. What's her name?

Megyn Kelly. Megyn Kelly. $700 million. We're talking, they want to counter The View. What happens to the goblins on The View then? The goblins on The View just keep sputtering their horseshit. Could you find an attractive one to host that thing? Jimmy Kimmel?

The View? Yeah, The View might be because he's just got. Are you laughing? I'm laughing at the, can you find an attractive one? Like he's, it's the same thing as with the,

we get it, we get it. You need to have black people or whatever. Fine. Are those the smartest people though? Are they the hottest chicks? Can there be at least

one hot chick? It's just... Yeah. Ladies. And also the midwives and the 50 year old 6 year olds watch at home well now Candace Owens and Meg and Kelly

are going to do their own version of the deal but it's going to be conservative yeah I'll watch that and they signed a what is it a 750 million dollar deal god damn I'll watch them hoes don't mean like hoes

you don't want money it's high talk I mean I'm sure it's high post election yeah thank you

those ones that keep peddling their bullshit because people are tuning in the bummer is like for the people

listening like you're three million viewers it's not that much the bummer is like for the people listening like you're three million viewers it's not that much I mean these guys fall for shit so easy just I mean like

kind of like us I mean I don't mind falling for stuff you know it's kind of funny to fall for stuff but they never talk about it after

I think that's where they're fucking up it's just like but being political about it and being like super excited for something that's not going to happen yeah I's just like but being political about it and being like super excited for something that's not going to happen

yeah I don't want to feel that stupid you know what I mean I don't mind saying like oh this is a fucking what's it called Don Rickles joke

and then say a Rodney Fitt Dangerfield joke oh yeah you know what I mean I don't mind being that dumb because then you know I could laugh about it afterwards

but if I'm like oh yeah dude you know there's goblins on TV you know there's goblins and TV? You know there's goblins and I'm going to have a hot chick with a black chick on the TV for talking about conservative stuff? Maybe not the best brains,

but you know, we'll do it. Bean Dip X Whack Job West Collab. Posted by Confidence Search 8648. Not going to lie, this is a cringey clip right here, dude. When you're in that situation

you come out of jail after 10 years are we starting yeah we just go what are people gonna realize might be at a raw shop oh shit

okay is when you let yourself down you project that onto others so that's what makes you have bad relationships a bad a pessimistic view I could make more money

in a fucking confined environment than most people can make on the street you know Jesus Christ dude like I would be in the I made money a pessimistic view. I can make more money in a fucking confined environment than most people can make on the street. Jesus Christ. Dude. I would be in the shoot. I made money in prison illegally and legally.

And you can't sell Torma. I can't sell Torma. You don't even have a drink. Nothing. I've never, no, the last time I drank was in prison.

I had some Pruno. I'd love to try some. Dude, they're so good though. I've heard. They make it out of oranges and like maple syrup. Brendan has a problem. Dude, this is so good, though. I've heard. They make it out of oranges and maple syrup. Brendan has a problem.

Dude, it was fire. Take your business cap off. We're talking spirituality. It's so stupid, dude. Can you believe that? Hey, the second I drank in prison for the first time in a long time, I had some speed, and I just did a bump. Now I fucking-

Speed? Who's on his face? The worst podcast of all time. Are you awake? I'm losing, yeah, I'm losing steam. I'm waiting for you

to put some input in here. I mean, this, he just sucks. It's boring. He's talking about what he does in prison. That's his,

that's his show. They have on people that are bad people and then the bad people say they're boring topic and Schaub doesn't understand and neither do I. We'll see.

Now we're just going to make his ass work out. A Nazi sign or something? No, now we're just going to make him work out and be up at a certain time, shower, work out, stay the fuck out the window.

You're not going to do well. I'm hanging and staying out the window. You get mashed. But the majority of prison is being Latin. It's all Southsiders. It's basically a message between us.

And I go, look at it. I go, one question. I don't teach people all the bullshit like everyone listens. I go high frequency or low frequency. And then I show them the frequency chart. And I'm like, okay. Isn't the blinking and Adderall thing? Yeah, right? Oh, yeah.

We looked it up. That one time we looked up all the symptoms, and blinking was definitely one of them. Yikes. Hey, fuck faces. If someone says fuck face, we're best friends. I called my buddy today. He was my best friend. Brian's like, what's your question?

Question, is your mom and dad still living with your grandma? Have you ever had a sociopath come to you for help? Apparently, there was a vice lord. This was a rumor. A vice lord put his guys in there. Who would want to do that? Yeah, it's a power trip. It has to be both sides.

I think we're good on current events, Jen. I think so too. Yeah. I think he crushed it. We don't need current events. Well done, sir. It doesn't fit here. You crushed it. I love talking to you guys.

We've wanted you on for a hot second. I can leave. Hot second. That's the only way we fucking forgot. Oh, fuck, man. There's so many. We got to start writing shit down. You know what?

Hot second. Not right now. No, no. I'm writing it down. We can vibe here with you guys all the time. I love it, man. Yeah, you're great. Hot second.

I'm just fucking with you. I like how practically you are about things. I love the quote you brought up I'm gonna I'm gonna like pick up those books too hold on we'll be right back

no we're so close to the end were you are you gonna do cocaine right now or what oh coffee there we go

even better yeah nice maybe you can cut to me drinking it like he was cut to me drinking it like he was in that thing Oh, coffee. There we go. Even better. Yeah. Nice. Maybe he could cut to me drinking it like he was. Cut to me drinking it like he was in that thing. Just kidding. Wait, who he was drinking coffee from? He had like a big thing of thermos.

And then I feel better standing up and coming. He had like a, he had a thermos next to a Tiger Thick, which we haven't heard about in so long. Tiger Thick, it was like 90 bucks and it was 40 bucks. And now they don't even talk about it at all. They don't drink it. He's not a whiskey guy anymore. Yeah, I'm kind of a whiskey guy.

And also, you know, I'm the coach. What did they say? Remember that? Oh, the football. I'm the coach. Football's coming up. I'm the coach. Football's coming up. I'm the coach. Thank you.

Thank you for getting me there. All right. I need to drink this so bad. We could just end the show there. I mean, everything else is- Listen, dude. I woke up at 434 this morning, like I always do. Actually, 433.

A minute threw me off. I don't want to end the show. I fucking pulled up like 100 clips this week. Oh, do you do- You're the producer bro you tell me what to do chin let's go clip the chin chip let's go one more oops oh yeah this one was good here um i mean not really let's go to the next one here uh never misses one okay let's see if this is post or this is uh. I'm also tired, dude. So it's like

if nobody's fucking, what is it called? Sailing the ship? The wind's not even blowing right now, dude. I think it would be funny to see us try. Confidence Search 8648 posted this one. Thanksgiving? How was it? It was good. Brennan's not here first. Let's just talk about that. I don't know if you noticed. Oh, I didn't even.

Brennan's not here, number one. We didn't know about this until this morning. I don't know why, but it's okay. It's fine. We can carry the weight.? Bren is not here, number one. We didn't know about this until this morning. I don't know why, but it's okay. It's fine. We can carry the weight. Shaub is not here. History in the making. First golden hour with no Shaub.

He is- I think that's the first. Has he ever not come for anything? Yeah, one time. Oh, okay. One time. Because this is the first time ever. Dude, I've never missed a podcast in 10 years.

Ever. Ever. Never missed a podcast. 10 years. Ever. Ever. Never missed a podcast. We've definitely seen that clip before. There's a golden AK-47 behind him. I've never seen that before. But this is from this week. So he missed again this week.

I know, but we've seen most of the clips here before. That would be funny if they put us up to a test. Like, have you seen this before? Our brains are so fucked from this shit. We're like. Dude, I'm 100% believing our brains are fucked from this. Oh, yeah. Did we speak in Shabanese to people?

My manager said, can you clock in early today? I said, yes, daddy. No, you didn't. Why did you just laugh? It's funny. Why do you think I'm serious? This is what I'm saying. We're so fucked up.

Because I am serious. I sent a message on Twitter to another guy and, uh, like just saying, Hey, my girlfriend thought your tweet was funny or whatever. And he wrote, Oh,

LOL. And I wrote, I said something like, no fuck man. That's I said, I said, Hey, Bapa to him.

He doesn't know fucking shop stuff. I do say, Hey, Bubba to some people. Bubba, Bubba, listen, Bubba.

Yeah, dude, we're all over the place. Yeah it is what it is that's what happens when you watch 10 minutes of this motherfucker every week dude it is what it is that's the vibe this one's posted by reverend born again isn't uh this isn't this joe rogan's story let's see then i construction. I took a whole summer and I dug, I tore down a house

and I dug a foundation and that took me all summer. And we would take, people that work construction, you don't know how hard that shit is until you've done it. They're tough. You have no idea.

And also I realized, I said, I never want to do this. If this, I got to figure out a way so I don't do manual labor because hard labor is a nightmare. I don't know.

That's just facts right there. Hard labor is tough. I can barely do a podcast. I almost fell asleep on the last clip. So I get it, daddy. Ridiculous. I'm back, dude. I'm back. I had a sip of coffee. I have grave disease. I'm back, dude. I'm back.

I had a sip of coffee. I have grave disease. I started taking the medication. Whatever, dude. Play the chin clip. Look at this stupid green shirt. Yeah, dude. I can't stand it.

His hat says war. Every time he has shit like this, I'm like, it's funny though to just have that. Like if I just somehow had that green shirt and that red hat, I want that. I want that. I want to just have that. Like if I just somehow had that green shirt and that red hat,

I want that. I want that. I want to dress like that. I want to show. It's getting worse, dude. You're turning into Brendan Schaub. I like Schaub. A lot of the stuff he says is true.

Facts. I know. And that's another thing is like, he kept saying nut. I've said that's facts like a hundred thousand times on this episode. I don't, I don't care. I really do. nut i've said that's facts like a hundred thousand times on this episode i don't i don't care you're you're sleep deprived dude and so am i but that's when the good stuff comes out maybe oh let's see here this one's posted by one usual 4460 it's called togan and raper bry seem more alike than i initially thought jesus yeah let see. I don't think I've heard that one before.

Beautiful. Joe Rogan, by the way. I love you, Howard. I love you, baby. Joe Rogan, by the way, has 30 DVDs of Jenna Jameson. At least. I've masturbated to her a thousand times. He's not working on a porno star fear factor.

Joe, if you refuse to take it in the face, you will be eliminated. Joe, what are your favorite three Jenna movies? Your favorite three titles? I don't even read anything on the box, dude. I just pop that sucker in. You're not that hardcore? My favorite Jenna Jameson movie is her first one where she's with that old guy. Up and Comers.

Up and Comers. That's my favorite because that guy, you look like you want to just die having sex with him, and yet you do it like a trooper. I am a good actress. Oh, no. Wicked weapon. I like the one with the ass. Look at Joe all of a sudden remembering. Tell me the plot of Wicked Weapon right now. She gets naked.

She gives a whirl. She takes him to face. Damn. It was really important to him that he could remember that one thing. He spit it out I gotta let them know I know the most confident

important podcaster in history but you know he's more unbearable now but back then he was pretty cool was he?

yeah I don't remember this Joe Rogan Fear Factor dude oh yeah I remember that so that's okay but I don't remember watching him on stern at all ever did you ever watch him on stern no yeah i just watched stern for the

sibian i did like fear factor you're right yeah yeah great show i've never seen it uh let's see here okay so this one's a five second click clip oh my god i can't even speak english second click uh barack bram bam put it in the kiddos you get 10 years how'd you nail brack bram bam i don't know dude i'm i'm a lost cause let's see here i'm telling you parents out there put it into the kiddos you get 10 years that was not a good uh it's not a good look he doesn't correct himself that's the weirdest thing he's not like i mean put it in the kiddos i wish i hadn't said that yeah dude all righty so this is posted by oh oh 10 at oh 10 23 chris the diddler i was excited for you to see this one maybe it just goes over your head

because we're so late in the show now but this is so god damn funny to me well the one where they played the soundtrack the more I think about it the more I'm like

god damn I thought it was Kendrick Lamar what am I on yeah you're insane right now yeah that was crazy yeah yeah

comments will be kind to you I'm sure let's see here I'm so excited for this one though this one made me laugh so hard okay okay good good it's just maybe this gives you more fuel dude like eight thousand eight thousand likes okay now let's try this boom if we like these well now you can't see it what's this

oh hell yeah Well, now you can't see him. What's this? Oh, hell yeah. Hell yeah, dude. Bro turned into his type, I think he says. Oh, fuck. One of them said Red Bar is watching. He's just staring at the screen reading the comments. As a baby.

Chris D. Diddler over and over again. And then he gets blocked. It's the baby that gets me going. Dude, so funny. That is so weird. Blocked by the live creator damn Chris blocked him or he has a mod

Chris blocked him Chris blocked him yeah why you gotta make it why you gotta give him an out I gotta fucking look at all the angles dude no dude

these are some of the best comedians ever lived they're just going through a thing right now handle some stuff yeah wait till he gets back on lip sync battle dude oh yeah dude that dance shit yeah, dude. That dance

shit. Yeah, that shit was fire. That shit is fuego. That shit is cap. Whatever the fuck that means. None of these guys are ever cap. Oh, okay. Got you. They're facts. Yeah. Just a browser broski bright as a dumpster fire. Let's see here.

Come on, shade. That makes me upset. I know. I actually don't likester fire. Let's see here. Come on, shades. Because you know why? That makes me upset. I know. I actually don't like doing it. We're being positive. And we are. And I don't like putting my shades on. Yeah.

But my future's too bright. But my future's too bright. But my future's too bright. What the fuck? future oh shit dude hey damn all right oh really dude now i know why people hate our dubstep sound dude that was terrible i like the dubstep thing yeah i think we gotta bring it back oh yeah no it's back it's the i think the glass breaking thing worked if you guys don't know what we're talking about the live stream is every Wednesday.

We show them how bad it could be. Yeah. That is so funny. They revolt. All right, never mind. This is posted by Haphazard. Yeah, you're rich. Yeah, you rich is what it's called.

Let's see here. Yeah, we do all that traditional shit. Mashed potatoes, yeah. You know, you and I have talked about the bird itself is a boring bird. I told you right when my mom said it's a dumb thing. Bananas. Sometimes we comes to sex and stuff.

Have you ever heard of this? Who is that? What the fuck? I think that's stand-up. Let's see. Once a year is more than enough for me. Yeah, I'll smoke a turkey. I think smoking a turkey is a better idea.

Smoke it, fry it. Overall, fuck off. It's all bullshit. Yeah, overall, fuck it. We need to switch up the whole thing. Yeah, I'd like a big old rack. Just some elk backstrap would be nice you know yeah you rich i would do uh maybe like a prime rib or like a sirloin yeah i let i steak yep you know yeah you rich i would

do uh and brian's a fighter and um you know he he won't speak on it too much, but it really messed him up. Messed him up financially. He's a guy at 5,000 years old who has to tour every weekend just to make ends meet. That is not. Peaches. Delight. Delight. That's rough, dude.

That's such a crazy thing to say about your co-host yeah dude I guarantee you Brian doesn't want that on Airwaves I stream on YouTube on my own YouTube channel

I talk about your financial problems all the time you fucking bastard and I sit like this to you with the chair you should start making up financial

things I have you're like he's 80,000 in debt he has to literally and then something crazy like he sells the flowers on the freeway he gives out flowers

my homie Cooney he's 71 million years old and he's touring every weekend as a clown for UCB in order to make ends meet and it really fucked him up. I'm not going to lie.

All right, let's see here. I think we're on the last one. Thank motherfucking God, dude. This one's called Bapa Still a Punchline Assassin posted by Dirty Buns Fart Nugget. Great name, dude. Great way to end it. Thank you, Dirty Buns Nugget.

Buns Fart Nugget. Buns Fart Nugget. It's a minus 345. In what world? Bryce will give you a what in part way. Dirty Bart Nugget. Bart Nugget. It's a minus 345. In what world? Bryce will give you a what in Bart way. Kids travel ball. You've got a lot of live dogs.

We've got a lot of live dogs, and we've got a dog in the building. My pup's here, Donnie. Donnie. Donnie, can you take over the show? We've got a lot of live dogs somebody's O has got to go that is happening you ain't getting no Luke Thomas

because you put Ariel in that bitch I wish they would you put Ariel or Luke Thomas or Pete Secura on that and I love the UFC you can do a lot man and they're like oh whatever UFC 227 John Jones I just saw a video of him beating his wife.

I was like, ah, fuck. There's some darkness with these cage fighters that we all want to forget. A lot going on in the fight game, though, I'll tell you that much. UFC 310, and this card is straight up spicy. It's only halfway through. Oh, my God. Jesus, I thought it was over. This will drink coffee before this episode for sure.

Yeah. From top cards of the year, there's no like bangers. We're like, oh, my God. For casuals, like, oh, my God, I stopped being a dad. All right, let's get to it. And don't you play that video, Jim, that I posted, man. That soundtrack slaps. I don't know if you're teasing me, guys, because that soundtrack slaps.

I pay certain kids to play. They're nine. It's like blue chips. Grappling ability. I'm telling you right now i know crone doesn't give a flying fuck about bryce mitchell's grappling credentials doesn't give a fuck he's crone gracie that's kratom i think kratom's effect or oh yeah i don't think he's on kratom anymore dude you gave up kratom once you create him you can't date him you know what i mean or you can't stop it

yeah this we know from the episode we had. You know what I'm doing after this? Fucking going to sleep? No, well, I am going to go to sleep, yeah. I'm pretty tired, but I'm actually going to go to dinner. I'm the chef. Oh, you're going to cook? No.

Oh, okay. I just wanted to do what he did. I was trying to capture that. I'm going to go cook. I'm the coach. You're tired too, right? I just wanted to do what he did. I was trying to capture that. I'm going to go coach. Keep the same energy. You're tired too, right? Yeah, I'm pretty tired, but I'm still capable.

I have a show tonight. Pull up five more clips. No, hell no, dude. Do it. No. I have to piss like a racehorse. Or as they say in Russia, pissy as cockaluchits. Because you had that big goal before we started. I had a big goal.

Why do you do that? I don't know, dude. Sometimes I'm just like Baja mode in do that? I don't know, dude. Sometimes I'm just like Baja mode in it. You know, you're more traction control, dude. That's true.

That's true. All right. Well, anyways, see you at the residency next week. Bye.