10 Minutes of Schaub - Brendan Schaub got ROBBED! ... good... | 10 Minutes of Schaub #69

Episode Date: October 1, 2023

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On Monday, I talked to Rogan. On Tuesday, you heard me say, oh boy. On Wednesday, my date was tested. On Thursday, they said water and numbers. I got fish. Fish and I'm gonna see. I got shows. Shows about my numbers. And them fish, them fish, they're about to get good too. On a Monday, out there selling tickets. On a Tuesday, to get a sandwich and. Oh, shot. On a Wednesday, I'll find out the tickets. On a Thursday, what I Oh, no. I got shows, shows about my numbers. And then bish, then bish, they're about to get gadooshed.

One take. It's time for my favorite time of the week. When you get there, bop, let it try to speak. Release surprises today. You better act gay or watch 10 Minutes of Shop. Welcome back to 10 Minutes of Shop. Welcome back to 10 Minutes of Shop. Thanks for tuning in. As always, join the Patreon.

We're doing standard reviews. We have two bonus episodes. One just came out with our buddy Miguel, where we get different. Look at you guys. Gerardo has shows. You have shows this week, right? Heard it both ways, B.

I have a show October 15th at the Ontario Improv improv man thank him that's it oh okay well that's not even why you're here though you're here as always for 10 minutes of shop so play the chin clip start the timer now nice all righty well we got a short episode this week dude we've been we've been doing hour and a half and i'm already tired dude are you tired well you know what you got to do take that kratom and strap the fucking i think kratom would make the situation worse but probably i don't know what we've been debating that for a while now we got this clip coming up here dude it's supposed by all i do is lie to you it's called bop and you the severity of the aaron rogers injury before everyone else via text with his inside guy who works for the Jets.

Nostrabapus. Nostrabapus, dude. Let's see. I don't know what it's like to be Aaron Rodgers. I know there's not a more competitive person on this earth, and I doubt he goes out like that. And with science and technology, they could get him back by next year. You're crazy if you think Aaron Rodgers can go out like that. There's no way.

He's not. The bummer is their star receiver, as he's getting carted off, he looks at him and goes, sorry, kid. Because he would have made that kid's life, dude. That kid would have been all pro. Sorry, kid. That sauce gardener. That made me want to cry.

Sorry, kid. He knew, didn't he? Everyone knew. I knew? He knew, didn't he? Oh, everyone knew. Yeah, yeah. So when he pulled it. I knew five minutes into it. You did? I got confirmation five minutes into it.

Yeah. Oh, no. From someone that works on the Jets. Because I was like, oh. I was texting the guy. I'm like, maybe it's just a high ankle sprain. It was nope. Fully ruptured.

Achilles out for the year. Does that mean the Achilles snapped? Yeah, snapped. Oh. Oh, my God. Was it good? I was bummed for the entire night all yesterday. I've been bummed all week about it.

It's just one of those things. There's nothing funny about a torn Achilles. No. But somebody in that studio was laughing when Papa said he'd do before everyone else. I bet, dude. I mean, and also, I like that Shob said that the kid, the wide receiver, so Rodgers is going to build the ground he walks on. Not going to happen, you know?

Because his leg is ridiculous now. But, yeah, I mean, what are the chances that a coach on the Jets is like, got to get back to Bapa immediately about Aaron Rodgers, our star that we just got this year, that the whole season is riding on him. He's the most important thing in maybe Jets history. Aaron Rodgers, our star that we just got this year. That's the whole season is riding on him. He's the most important thing in maybe just history. Yeah.

Other than Joe Namath. Ever heard of him? But yeah, I mean, what do you think about that? I think it's block bus. Yeah. That his Achilles tour. Yeah. That's a brutal one.

I think it's Neg Fliggs that Brendan Chubb immediately made it about himself, dude. Yeah, dude. He brought it back to what's important, dude. Scoob. That's what we're here for, dude. Scoob got the scoop from his good friend on the Jets coaching squad. Yeah. Interesting.

Very interesting that Bapa knows so much and so many people. Dude, yeah. He's the redacted Forrest Gump, dude. Mm-hmm. Yeah, dude. He's been all everywhere yeah most of every important thing that's happened in history about was there instead of jenny he's like aaron is that funny uh you know it's i like that it's a forest gun preference all right this next one's posted by uh british tony soprano it's called did anyone catch the food truck diaries

with cody garber ran to before we leave do you know that references i'm guessing it's him botching the name oh for sure best brains b thank you for watching this episode of food truck dies with cody garret but before we leave for watching this episode of Food Truck Dives with Cody Garret. But before we leave. Of course, he's wearing a jersey. Yeah, dude. Thanks for watching this episode of Gerardo Alarcala. We got to get out of here soon.

Before we leave. You fucking asked me how to say Cody Garret. We got to go today. Welcome to this Monday, Chris morning. Yeah. Name the movie. That would be a good biograph,

biographic film about him. What's that? Chris Monday. Yeah. Good name. Good name or a good name for a comedy special. Oh, Monday morning.

Chris. Yeah, just Chris. If he leaned in a little bit. Yeah. And like spell it how he pronounces it. I think we're furthest from him leaning in because dude, by the way, there's a long clip on Chang's right now. We only have like what?

Maybe 10 clips today, but there's a long clip on Chang's right now of them talking about the whole podcast one situation. Oh yeah. And I got to say, dude, it is T fat K. It's best dude. Oh yeah. You know why? Why, dude, it is T fat K. It's best, dude. Oh yeah. You know why? Why they're talking numbers dude, perfect money. Love it. You know what I mean? And controversy.

Look at you guys. So I think Bapa right now is the furthest from leaning into this shop ism stuff, you know, probably not. I mean, and I didn't want to talk about this, but we also were taken advantage of by cast media. That's why all the mats are gone. We put our mats into the investment with Colin Thompson and you know,

I couldn't even look at him, you know, it was like fucking Colin dude. But you know what? As I said, you fuck with the wrong Gerardo. Okay. Cause we have a voice.

Yeah. We have a platform and we say no to podcast. Well, I listened to J jaco willing dude so when they took the mats i was like good i was like i was like oh you want to take all the soundproofing good yeah dude you heard it here good yeah dude jaco yeah i wake up at 4 a.m i say good yeah dude and then I go. Yeah, yeah, man.

I wake up at four a.m. because I got to pee and I can't stop paying all the time. Good. Good. Dude, when I watch fucking T fat K and he botches the word, I go good. Well, that actually is good. Yeah, that's like a positive. Yeah, but you guys got to look at everything like Jocko does. It doesn't matter, dude.

Yeah. When the Jets let me know that they had to tell Boppa first, I say good. Yeah. And you're a Jets fan, dude. Yeah, dude. Your ball is deep in Jets. Yeah. When I was like challenging one of my employees to a race and he won and I had a hamstring

injury, I was like good. Yeah, dude. When I had to fire Mark Harley, I said good. You're B your papa now. Yeah, yeah, all right. So this one's posted by johnny with a bunch of underscores. It's called. I'd bet a personal day. What does that mean? Like a day off at work? Is maybe yeah, maybe good. I'd bet a personal day that floyd actually said white boy who talks too much.

I'll be here all weekend folks and emic. It's like, oh, I work too much. Yeah, I knew I worked too much because when I saw Floyd, I was like, I don't know who I am. And he's with his entourage and we're I'm walking in the restaurant. He's walking out. He goes, oh, you that white boy that works too much. That's what he said. Yeah, he's I see everyone, man.

You that white boy works too much. And I was like, yeah, I got a problem. Yeah, it feels good. It feels good. You know who I works too much and I was like, yeah, I got a problem. Yeah, it feels good. You know who I am, but also a panda dude. I feel like if oh, I didn't have the that clip on screen, but you guys don't need this good see.

We didn't play the clip that we wanted you to see good. You just saw I was watching it good. Yeah, but you know that famous clip. Yeah, you're seeing it. Well, he said this twice. Now this is on T fat case is the white boy that works too much, and then he's on two bears. One cave. This is a new one. This can't be. No, this isn't

new. It's probably old. He says it all the time. Yeah, he's seven times a week. Papa's whole thing is like he looks for places where he could do name drops, dude. Yeah, you know, and while in that alchemy of what's happening in his head of him looking for name good, you know, drops dude yeah you know and while in in that alchemy of what's happening in his head of him looking for name good you know name drops you know what i

mean he's he's fucking up so many words while trying to find name drops yeah he fucked the prom at the end yeah but at least uh boppa and this one i don't know if he said in the other one too but he was like probably doesn't know who i am yeah there's a little bit of a i don't matter i don't count there an ounce of self-awareness an ounce of self-awareness right but then he then of course he has on his on the upside down dodgers hat yeah there's not going to be too many smart thoughts coming out oh shit is this a dodger hat with the la upside down good damn that's gonna get me every time i'm redacted all right let's going to get me every time. I'm redacted. Let's go to the next one. This was posted by Khabib Time. It's called

Giraffe Kings had giraffe because the giraffe D. Oh, yeah. Giraffe Kings had to change the promo code because Papa kept spelling his last name wrong. Good. Let's see. I partnered up with my friends at Gir draft kings and there's so much to bet

on there's so much to make money on here's the deal all you gotta do is place a five dollar bet and you can win 200 in bonus bet that's right in bonus bonus five dollars you get 200 in bonus bets instantly all you gotta do is use the promo code bre Brendan. You're off to the races. DraftKings, promo code Brendan. There we go. See? Nice. Good work, dude. Good.

Yeah. He delivered that well, I think. Yeah. All they need to do is make a change. For some reason, Brendan is easier to do than Schaub. Yeah. He didn't spell it, though. Halfway into it, it sounds like what the DraftKings guy sounded like to him.

DraftKings, promo code, boom. That's it. Please. No what the Draft King guy sounded like to him. Draft King, promo code, boom. That's it. Please, no more Kratom talk. No whiskey talk. There's like a super tired guy behind the camera like, all right, all right, take 150. Brandon, Jesus Christ,

please just say the script. Yeah. Let's change it. your last name's too hard last thing i don't want to hear just brendan okay promo code brendan draft kings all right welcome back to draft kings i'm your host brendan shab go to food truck diaries oh fuck no no no no no also what's why is it such a it's like it sounds like it's very important that he does this quickly he doesn't get behind the microphone or anything. He's just like, right here, Chin.

Chin's like, right here? He's like, good. Well, it's a promo. Yeah. And it's an IG story promo? Damn, they paid him for that. They paid him for an IG story. Wow.

They should have asked for the engagement numbers before, dude. I'm just capping dude. Obviously his engagement is a lot better than mine. So who am I to talk about men on your ways? Yeah, good point. Good point. Yeah, only a hundred people see my stories. Good draft.

Kings is not knocking on my door, dude. No, no, you got to be a duck, not a hawk. Yeah, all right. So this one is posted by cap and autism zero. That's a strange name. Hopefully he has it. Let's see. This one's called. How does anyone listen to this moron speak? Why does he sound like that? Is his head full of mucus? He's a nice mucus. I don't know. I don't know music. Maybe it's two C's sound off in the comments.. Also, your charity won't get my friend famous enough.

Oh, you're right, dude. It's three C's, dude. If it's mucus without three C's, it ain't good for me, dude. No, that's just mucus without the salsa on top, baby. Good. Here's the thing. Bradley wants a fight. He's asked me.

He wants me to find him a fight. Oh, you want a fight? I want an MMA fight, though. I don't want a box. Hey, why don't we do this thing with you we can do it for the we can do it for like a podcast we do it for show so my buddy rich chow he does this whole wimps to warrior they train you they come in they put you in a gym they train you for six to eight weeks and they schedule you a fight and they make it like a charity event it's a big deal bro can i go ahead all right here's the problem so

from wimps to warriors i don't know who they've had on there okay the issue is bradley is very successful in this space yeah you want someone of equal clout which is very hard to find he's very very in this space you want to just like for like you know i get what you're saying so maybe maybe we maybe find another fighter you know what i'm saying? Maybe we find another. Maybe we find another. Man, this is crazy. It's just so funny that like Schwab is very bad at talking. This is well established. Yet, he always interrupts so he can talk for other people. Yeah. What is that?

What are we doing here? Wait, can I finish, dude? You're just showing something like it's fine. It's coming if it's good. Brandon Cavalier will we'll be right back. Yeah. Can I finish it? Draft Kings, the fucking promo come ready.

Come because it's good. I love the idea of him because when you do something like that, you're nervous. You're trying to hit whatever you're supposed to say. Yeah. And Brandon doesn't say the last name. So he's like in his stupid brain. He's like, I'll save it by saying we'll be right back. But it's so much weirder like that.

And why wouldn't they edit that out? And you know what else to is Brandon's rhythm of speech. The pacing of it is like unpredictable dude. Oh yeah, you know what I mean? If you had to predict his pacing as like a squid game, you're dead dude. Nobody's winning that game, right? It's like jazz is the

words that he doesn't mispronounce. There you go. Nice dude. That's the most profound he doesn't mispronounce. There you go, bro. Nice dude. That's the most profound thing you've ever said on ten minutes of shop dude. You liked it. You like the way I said that thank him. We're just fucking stupid dude. We do this every week.

It doesn't change. It's so funny that we do this every week. That didn't make any sense. It wasn't funny good. We just finished watching a twenty minute video about crystal. You go. We hated the guy that did it. Yeah, good. Maybe we're tired before the episode. Good. Maybe question everything that we're doing. Good. Okay, so this one's posted by Dicey Redact. It's called Your Pussy Lips Are Showing. Dude,

what the fuck? I have the biggest dick in the train. Look at those people. You're out of your mind if we didn't have a dick size contest if I don't dominate that dick contest. Right? Everyone in this room would

dominate. Okay, just looking at you. Don't you dare. I'll speak for myself. I'm not gonna answer that. If there's odds here, me and Brian are minus 7,000 here. I would imagine that's probably. And I've seen Brian's and I'm gonna lose that. I would like to run. That thing is juicy.

Oh, really, dude? What the fuck? I forgot about that. What? You know, from Step Brothers. Oh, really? I think so.

Yeah. Oh, my God, dude. That's right. We forgot about the ground that built this truck we walk on. Yeah. Oh my God. That's right. When we forgot about the ground that built this truck we walk on. Yeah. The Mangina picture. Remember how he's like, here's a clip with a picture of you with a Mangina. Yeah, but heard it both ways be.

I'm a huge fan of Brendan Chubb. Right. So his dick is huge. Good. Good. huge, good, if I but like listen at the risk of sounding exactly like shop. If I was a betting man, I would put that it was bigger than eight inches because I said eight inches only because the shop isn't, but it's probably less than eight inches. I yeah, I wouldn't have any way of

guessing. Who knows somebody Somebody shared with me today on an Instagram DM. He might go by the name of Miguel. It was a post of a doctor talking about in Spanish micro pen, which means, you know, micro penis, right? And the doctor at the end said, share this with somebody that you think

has a micro penis. I got a good douche by a Mexican doctor dude. You know why? Because they're spicy spicy, which means assholes would do. We were at an open mic and a comic said that

they have a Latina friend. So you know she's spicy and I've never seen Brendan move so fast. Yeah, I may. I want to make eye contact so we get a big laugh. Yeah, yeah, you turn straight looking at me and I was like, oh my god shop isms in the wild are my favorite thing. People do it by accident. I know like I

literally did the vaccine thing where he's like dude, they should just tell people that it makes your dick big. Blew my mind. They said that goddamn picks down to here. If I told you I was an open maker, you would agree good all types of Brendan shop jokes. All right, so this one, this next one is posted by NJ H four one zero. It's called Bapa pretending he's a mechanic. Now

truck walk two point. Oh, it is kind of cool that he got a truck. He's like that to me good. He's leaning into it a tiny bit. Sure, and but also be faithful. You know I'm saying that like ask your wife to go for a truck walk let's see yeah fam this is what we're doing today kiddos are off at school now i'm gonna start modding this thing out yeah uh this first one is just cosmetics it's super easy uh one to do here so my issue is this ram see how it's kind of gray drives me nuts i got problems with an ocd bombs uh so the option was to either do that in black or you could just replace it with this so we shall see so the plants take t-rex put it on there i I got my fishing wire. I got the blow dryer and then

hopefully it looks all right. It's not easy to replace, but first mod coming up after this, we'll start getting to the engine, the exhaust and all that other stuff. So we'll see riveting dude. Oh my gosh. And you know what dude huge Brandon shop in you're looking at him right here. So I do keep up on his stories randomly. Right. And I happen to watch the truck saga of him buying the truck. Same exact thought, dude. I was like, there's not a chance he works on trucks. Yeah. I mean, it seems unlikely. He's not, but maybe I, when did he get the truck? He got it last week since like, you know, after all this podcast, 1.6 million get get get get get money right that he lost out on you and also

the hubris of them being like, oh, this is good for us. It's like, you know, Gerardo would do the same thing. I'm like, I'm buying a big truck, dude, you know, and then, you know, the legal proceedings happened. Yeah.

Just like pray that we win in court. Yeah. Somebody messaged me about him buying the truck. They're like, oh, look, Bob is really a truck guy now at our truck walk or whatever, but I didn't realize he was saying that he just bought the truck. Oh, yeah. He just bought it this last week. Yeah.

Yeah. What is it? What that thing said? TRX on it, right? Do you know what that is? I don't know what that thing said trx on it right do you know what that is um i don't know what that is it should say tmos on it dude yeah yeah yeah yeah that would be great if some editors or changs were like they re-edited that clip and he's like i got this yeah it's like i can either make it black gray or i can put this bad boy on it and it's just tmos with me in your

face oh yeah or it's just your it your Gerardo's face and then you like takes it it shows I'm putting it up that'd be great yeah dude that'd be a great club as fun yeah that would make me even more homeless yeah that would be cool if anyone at that worked at the truck place was homeless yeah dude because they would probably

just be laughing in the corner like he's really buying a truck right now oh my god yeah what if you saw him buying a truck you're just just there. Oh my gosh, that'd be crazy. Now you really can do a truck. All the rumors are true. Good. All right, let's go to this one. It's posted by all I do is lie to you. It's called Hey Rinks. How did booking venues larger than a chuckle hut go? Ouch and God damn it, Melbourne, Florida, King Center, September 23rd,

Saturday, and then I go right over to Genesee Theater, Waukegan, Illinois, on a Sunday at 7 o'clock. And I know you guys are dying to come out on a Sunday. We'll see you there.

King Center, Melbourne, Florida, September 23rd, Genesee Theater, September 24th in Waukegan, Illinois. I'll see you there, everybody. I am no longer at the King Center in Melbourne, Florida, September 23rd, Genesee Theater, September 24th in Waukegan, Illinois. I'll see you there, everybody. I am no longer at the King Center in Melbourne, Florida, and I'm not going to be doing the

Genesee Theater, I don't believe, September 24th in Waukegan. We're going to reschedule those. That's a goddamn lie. What do you think? Why do they have to reschedule? T-ball shit? Listen, dude, his kiddos are probably older than me, right?

So it wouldn't be t ball roasted dude, fucking old ass pieces good. It's good. Oh, they they roasted me on Temos again. Good sorry. He's saying yeah, I'll never do the good again after this week that I mean, I think it's pretty funny. Yeah.

What's it called? I think he probably didn't sell a lot of tickets but he sold more tickets than we would in melbourne probably yeah that's nuts he could even try in australia they know brian callan is there so what i'm trying to say is my rationale is he probably sold enough tickets to do a show and have a good time, but not enough to be like, oh yeah, I'm going to fly to Australia. Right. Australia is not touching this temple. Also to you got a Sunday show like I'm not going to go to a sun. I don't even go to open mics on Sunday

dude. Yeah, a little in Australia. Plus there's seven days ahead. So you probably knew right away there weren't enough tickets and you know he loves probably Chick-fil-a dude and Chick-fil-a clothes on Sundays goes against his fucking North Star, B. I'm just trying to make a red joke. Yeah, I'm trying to make

a Republican joke, but I can't. I mean, if I, like, that guy, one show in Australia, what's the whole point? Are you just going there for vacation? Does it pay that much? It's two shows. Melbourne and Genesee Theater.

Oh, well, I'm not really a numbers guy, so. Yeah, you know, you've never been. Never been. Australia is a great place, but you're Oh, I'm not really a numbers guy. So yeah, you know, you never been never Australia is a great place, but you're right. I've never been it dude. Well, I need to take a plane that takes me seven days ahead. You know, all right.

So this one's posted by Ryan Joseph. Some amazing clips on the last episode. Yeah, it's called the Brendan adds so much to the golden hour. Let's see here. It's just great. You know, what about the umbilical cord? I cut that. I cut it. Yeah, it's called the Brendan adds so much to the golden hour. Let's see here. It's just great. You know, what about the umbilical cord? I cut that. Yeah, you did. You cut it.

Really? They're a comedy team dude. Yeah, just like Will Ferrell and what's the other guy and stepbrothers? Sorry to put you on the spot. John C. Riley, John C. Riley. That is like a Will Farrell, John C. Riley clip. I'm going to do the same thing to you. They're like Oliver

Hardy and what's the other guy's name? Laurel. Damn it. Laurel. Somebody. I was hoping you wouldn't know Laurel and Hardy. Good. Almost tried to get Brendan. Good. Too good for you. I got the best brains be you come at the king. You best miss. Yeah, I'm trying to mess up.

They're firing on all cinders. They're like Daniel Plainview and what's the other guy's name? What are you talking about? I'm the smartest tool in the shed, Papa. Smartest tool in the shed. H.W. Plainview. Isn't that the name of that guy? No, H.W. is my son.

H.W. We're all family business. We're family business. We watch T-Fatad k together we never miss an episode you say that i don't watch brennan shob you're a liar yeah other people will say they watch brennan shob but do they know what brian does uh or what brian shows are in australia do they know when they are i can tell you when they'll be they can tell you when they'll be. They won't ever happen. They'll be canceled. Redacted in a basket. Redacted in a basket.

I'm sorry. I've abandoned my shop. I'm redacted. I've abandoned my clips. I've abandoned my clips. I'm redacted. All right, let's go. This is the last clip for the day, dude.

This is a 30-minute episode, dude. Damn. It's almost as long as Gringo Poppy, dude. I mean, yeah, it's true. It's very as long as a gringo poppy, dude. I mean, yeah, it's true. That's very long. Usually we just do 1047 minutes long time from time for our favorite time of the week. All right. So this one's posted by Ryan Joseph 82.

It's called is shop trying to get canceled. Let's see here. Look at that phase. Do you with a stranger? But check her out. She looks. I mean, she is the heavies. She was. She was apparently the government heavy, I mean, she has the heavies. She was,

she was apparently the government heavy. I mean, they look insane. She was apparently vaping and making a ton of noise. That's why they had to kick her out. Hey, nothing wrong with vaping, dude.

Yeah. Hey, leave vaping alone, dude. Be cool. Chin. Oh, vaping is not cool anymore.

Good. This is to give context about Lauren Bober's congressman in Colorado or something like that. Right. I have no clue what they're talking about. Yeah, they're talking about the congressman. She got kicked out of like Beetlejuice. The movie?

There's a play now. Oh. Yeah. And in the clip, I've seen it. Her date is grabbing her boobs and she's touching his big. Whoa. And she's in Congress? She got kicked out for like making a scene or something. I'll tell

you what. Not my congresswoman, dude. It's like this is a play, not a truck walk. You're not your car. Who's your congressman? No, I just wanted to say that. Okay, not my president. Not my president. Yeah, dude. Oh, congresswomen are getting fingered at the movies. Good. She ain't got no merch.

Good time and you'll see her here. And then she argued with security. But watch. Check her out. Check out these sweater puppies. They're coming up right now. Check out these White House hitters when they come through.

Oh, boy. Boom. There's more. But what was the problem? She was vaping in a musical, making too much noise. You know musicals you're not supposed to do. She was vaping her giant tits with distraction, Brian. I mean, she looks hot. I had no idea she was this hot in a musical making too much noise you know she was vaping her giant tits with distraction brian i mean she looks hot i had no idea she was this hot but i mean either

and she's from uh i think she's she's a congresswoman in denver or colorado she's got yeah this is my news that's my old stomping ground what do they edit out like what do they edit out of these clips they don't edit anything out. That's almost like Brave, right? Like that is almost like a cool thing. I mean, we just did an episode of Raccoon Tweez. Check it out if you haven't seen it yet. So much editing. Yeah, we're balls deep in taking shit out.

That's bad. Oh, yeah, dude. We were talking about women on earwaves. We're like, oh, got to cut that part out, dude. Yeah, for sure. We'll edit out stuff that's blog bust. Yeah. They have no...

He's just sitting there. He's like, look at her t like their tits man yeah fucking tits are good oh look at those snowflake nipples he's like saying yeah things that don't even make sense yeah look at those big cars damn look at those two drugs walking off her chest dude these are four wheelers on her chest four wheeler boobs then maybe they had to stop the play because of her big fucking tits, Brian. Look at that chest tundra. So gross. Yeah, dude. Bapa fucking, you got to take care of yourself, bro.

Jack off or something. For reals, dude. I don't know. I normally wouldn't suggest that, but if you're having these thoughts. I'll say if Bapa's not jacking off, I am fucking impressed. Yeah, start honestly, dude. I gave it. Thanks.

He does. I've never taken Adderall before, but I'm assuming the first thing I'm doing is hands in the pants. You know what I mean? It was just so weird, dude. The whole like that was like five boob riffs in a row. He's he can't control himself. Oh, dude an animal.

You trying to cage Bapa? Good luck, dude. Good. I'm like, dude, you should be like a duck, not a hawk, bro. You know what I mean? God, have you ever heard of him? Twice in an episode. You said it the wrong way, though.

You got to be a hawk, not a duck. I know. I like to mix it up. Oh, okay. Good. Good. Kathy Saban. She's to be a hawk. I know I like to mix it. Oh, okay. Good good. Hello, Kathy Saban. She's got she's just dancing with their partner.

Well, you know, unidentified dude. Is that is that her husband? No, it's unidentified. So obviously someone she's seeing or dating. It's a UFO guy going to get his wiener out because it's too big tip. She's she's a cutie. She's a cutie pie. Yeah, there's this thing that the death of comedy is happening, dude.

Oh, yeah? Yeah, dude, because there's this thing about this Brian Callen speech where it's just you say regular things, but you talk like this. You know I love this. Yeah. Oh, you're going to love it, dude. Oh, that's what I want you to do. It makes me mad when he doesn't do it during the show.

Like right now, he's kind of just being like the normal guy. I don't like that. I know that whole podcast one clip we watched before the show. Good. The whole good thing is boring. Dude, him talking normally is like, why is there even a microphone in your mouth, dude? You got it. I like the annoying character.

Unlike with Shab, where I feel like there's some things he needs to change, Brian is perfect as that ridiculous like the way you're doing it. And then also just like the high intensity kind of shit that he does. But what's good about the Brian thing is that

he'll speak normally and then randomly talk like this. Yeah. The funny just doubled up. I got to get in there and I'm going to fatten it up. You know, I'm going to fatten it up. Or whatever he says.

So let's double up the funny on the fucking podcast one situation, dude. He's like, you know, usually we get paid in lump sums every three months. I think it's on a net 90. Right? every three months. I think it's on a net 90. And they gave us, they stole $465,000. Damn. So I was on the phone with Colin and he was telling me,

listen, okay, you're not going to get your money. And then a coyote came out of nowhere and bit his leg off. You got to do the coyote afterwards. Yeah, you're right. But you saved me there. Stick to the bit, dude. Thank you.

Yeah, dude. Thank you. Straight talk wireless. But that's just T-Fat K because Brendan is the white boy that worked too much. They stole $1.6 million. Okay, I'm losing it. Yeah, Brennan is down on his luck, dude. He lost a lot of money.

Good. Good. Fuck, you got me, dude. All right, let's finish this clip. Oh, wait. Yeah, man. Man, no privacy, though. I think she's cute.

I mean, no, everybody does. yeah okay i'm not the only one i'm not any i'm in my job lately yeah yeah hot yeah she's hot yeah she's hot that's what i'm streaming her views i think but she's hot i don't need to listen oh dude i convert to whatever view she whatever whatever yeah i agree yeah i'll vote for biden i agree with you those kids make me vote nancy pelosi super concerned oh really oh yeah she's pick her up she's hardcore concerned oh I'll vote for Biden. I agree with you. Those tits make me vote Nancy Pelosi. She's super conservative. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. Pick her up. She's hardcore conservative.

Oh, wow. She's got a heart. I am rock hard. And owns a gun. Bubba knows nothing. And is a gun-toting Second Amendment girl. Good. Holy shit. Damn, dude.

We did not see that coming. Bro, he did it, dude. Full circle. It's almost like he knew what we were going to do. Yeah. Man, what a way to end it. Wow. Well, let's talk a little bit here, dude.

Okay. Why is the poster here? Listen, to go back to make two clear points here. First of all, Ryan Joseph, great guy. I've never met him. Very good chef work. Great chef. But the other counterpoint here, I had to preface with that.

The other counterpoint, oh, I got two points. Good. Huge Brendan Schaaf fan right here, sitting next to you here. Sure. Love the guy. Could, you know, if you ignore a couple things, you know what I'm saying? Great guy. Sure.

Probably hates Asians a lot, but he's really cool, right? He says he you never seen a stand up. Is shop trying to get canceled? What about that is remotely close to getting canceled? Dudes love tits, dude. Oh, I mean, because he's just saying all that shit about tits. Oh, he's like being disrespectful to women. You said the sign, though the fighter. That's like being disrespectful to women. You said the sign though the fighter

that's like exactly like our sign. It's just different font. Like it looks like they got it from the same Amazon person that we did. They're copying us now. Maybe they're trolling us now. Good. Yeah. Oh, you got our chairs. Well, we're going to get your freaking sign

although they probably did before. But if they start doing there'll be blood references, then we're in trouble, B. I would love it. Because like, yeah, do silent. Do like a little bit like BC, the press. You know how you drop this shit all smooth and then it skits in bits.

Maybe they need a little bit of skits in bits. You know what too, dude? I think there's a way we can try to infiltrate, you know, thick boy headquarters, dude. Right. One of us should work there. Oh, that's, I'm not looking for a job, B. Yeah.

No, I'm talking for real. I just, hey, I'm making a real point here. I hate doing that voice, dude. So much. I love every moment of it. I'm making a point here, Cooney. Dude, imagine, imagine Brian Collins saying Cooney. That'd be good.

But he'd be so angry with us yeah we're way meaner to brian i think than we are to scoop good um what was i saying oh get this do you know how to do fan submissions uh oh yeah yeah the videos that they watch if people that watch tmos there's like 20 of you right people that watch tmos's, there's like 20 of you, right? People that watch Timo's, if you start putting in fan submissions for the golden hour, just like I want them to be swarmed with what's your favorite, there'll be bloodline. Dude, just please. Yeah, dude, like if you could do fan submissions with like funny, not crazy, but stuff from our show, like yeah, there will be blood. Specifically, there will be blood. There will be blood would be a good idea. You got the best brands.'re best try with that start with that and then we'll see if there's anything else

I mean Dahlia Griffin and shop just riffing on there we blood I'm coming dude gross I was trying to do his shop ism I didn't he never says that the right he says I'm rock hard yeah well he just said that yeah well

I'm rock hard here you he just said that yeah well I'm rock hard here you say balls deep oh go for it balls deep but yeah that's it that's the that's the show

end of the episode dude thanks for tuning in bye later