10 Minutes of Schaub - Brendan Schaub HAS A FAST TRUCK | 10 Minutes of Schaub #136

Episode Date: January 7, 2025

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I got a podcast you can download anywhere maybe I can get some views maybe together we can get some clicks I am blog buster started from zero shut up and on youtube maybe we'll make content me myself Ryan is 82 Papa I got a fast truck I got a plan to walk you to it Been working at the truck, my shop Minutes to not be a little bit funny

Won't have to walk too far Just cross the street and into my Chevy. You and I can fuck away and finally see our business be fucking. Eddie. See my co-host got a problem. He don't take

no that's the way he is. Your body's too hot for Brian. Your body's too hot to not like his. His fans went off and left him They wanted more from Joe than he could give Somebody's got to do a show with him So I quit stuff, that's what I did I'm gonna keep you busy

I got a fast truck Is it fast enough just to go both ways? You gotta make a decision Be with Chiggs or with a guy. So I remember we were walking, walking to my truck. Joked so bad you thought I was drunk. LA lights flayed out before us and I did not like getting a cold short. And I, I had a special that was real bad I had a feeling that I could be

Brandon be Brandon be Brandon one day Welcome back to 10 Minutes of Shop. We don't have lights and our monitor was broken. Yes. And the soundproofing in this room is shit. I stole your joke. I stole your joke. These are all Gerardo's jokes I stole from him. But that's not why they're here. No, they're not here for that, shit. I stole your joke. I stole your joke. These are all Gerardo jokes I stole from him.

But that's not why they're here. No, they're not here for that, dude. Join the Patreon so you can help us buy a new monitor and some soundproofing, please. Yeah, what do we watch on the Patreon? Oh, the roast of 2024. Torching 2024, dude. Yeah, which if you want to know what we thought about it, join the Patreon, dude. Let's just say I got some third degree burn marks.

You got roasted hard huh pretty roasted dude yeah me too dude but anyways i uh but i didn't get roasted compared to luigi mangi you like i got roasted oh yeah dude mangi only luigi dude i wouldn't even want to be him you know in the streets joe biden got fucking torched hey i'm Adam Ray. Hey, this is a bad impersonation. I suck at everything. Anyway, that's just hateful. But let's, they're not here to watch 10 Minutes of Shop, right? No, fuck Adam Ray though, too.

It's every night with fuck Adam Ray. It's on site with Adam Ray. Talk that shit. Scoop up the bay. That was a little preview of the Patreon. Yeah. So they're here to watch Tim as a shop. Yeah.

Start the timer with a chin clip. All righty. Well, let's see what clips we got. Chin up the play. This is going to be posted by A's the Ticey. We got another one, boys. Let's see what this is. All is to say and i i know people like oh rogan did what he thought was right agree 100 and thank god rogan did that to a certain extent but also if that if that rogan

wasn't such a close friend i would have said you don't know what the fuck you're talking about i've been doing this day in day out with the best in the world i know exactly how i stack up against these guys so that's where i'm going me going i think you'd be surprised is me going yeah kind of don't know that i didn't even know that's what he was talking about till right there oh i thought i i picked up on this this is the one clip where i did i immediately now i i have a sixth sense why is he talking about this um i don't know why he's talking about it i mean it is pretty like it's one of the biggest clips in history of clips of any kind of clip right it's like that's the moment right there i think you'd be surprised

it's so big he named his first comedy special. And that was huge. One of the most, I mean, Showtime is still talking about that shit. That created that. I think you'd be surprised. I think you'd be surprised. That created careers over at Showtime. Those guys are doing big things now.

Thank them. We'd say their names, but you already know them. Bob Iger. Russell Brand. Da Vinci. Bob Iger. Okay. Russell Brand. Da Vinci. Da Vinci, yeah. Google.

Adam Ray. Netflix. Like Kanye West. Toobie. Way the sausage is made. Now, you've seen it, but I'm talking the way the sausage is made being on those mats. So, what's the new one? We got a new one.

I think it's just like a new one of him talking about that iconic clip where he's like now, and it's also kind of funny to be like, Oh no, sausage is made. Oh, I missed it. That's all for sausage is made.

Well, I don't know. Let's see. Let's see. Let me see. Don't know that way. The sausage is made. Now you've seen it. That's all for sausage is made. Well, I don't know. Let's see. Let's see. Let me see. Don't know that way. The sausage is made. Now you've seen it, but I'm talking the way the sausage is made. Sausage. Sausage.

Sausage. Yeah. No, that's the way sausage is made. Sausage. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, that's definitely new. I haven't heard. That's kind of like your sausage salads that you talk about. Yeah. My sausage salads used to put a bag. Yep. Let's see what else we got here. Yeah, that's definitely new. I haven't heard. That's kind of like your sausage salads that you talk about. Yeah, my sausage salads. You scoop it a bag. Yep. Let's see what else we got here. The next one's going to be

posted by Perfect Pizza 5988. It's called Noting Milk Him Happier. Nothing makes him happier. Nothing milks him happy. Yes, it makes him happy. Okay. Nothing milks him happy. Let's makes him happy okay yeah nothing milks him happy let's

see where what where they said that you you said this out loud don't piss in the same here i've done it maybe once okay what my penis sinks all the time i love it matter Matter of fact, I feel like. You're his audience, dude. It's amazing. Every time. Every time. He goes, I don't know, maybe once. Every single night I do it. The clips, it's every time we watch this shit, he does it.

Thanks. I feel like a hell's angel when I do it. Yeah. So you went in the urinal. I went in the sink the sink dude nothing makes me happier than peeing in a sink is it why does he sit like that dude like a little kid nothing makes me happier than peeing in the sink with your hands

next to your thighs is kind of feminine Doug to me it's like a little kid at uh who was at his house cause his legs are all up like this, and he's doing this. He's squinched up. He's happy to be at school or sitting on his couch watching cartoons. Student of the week right here.

He's like, yay. Let's see. I pee in the sink. Listen, there's nothing more satisfying to me when I pee in the sink. I feel like a biker day. Yeah. I pee in the sink hard. Nobody's talking aboutiker day. Yeah. I pee in the sink hard. Nobody's talking about the fight.

Everybody was saying, Howie, how are you going to go there? He pisses in the sink. Brendan talked about he pissed in the sink. I had to pee in the sink one time. It was a state of emergency. So I just pee in the sink all the time. Every morning. Yeah.

That morning piss into the sink. You know, what's weird is with Howie Mandel, he's kind of treating Howie like Howie's a principal or like his boss. He's like, I mean, just once. You know, like he's been caught. Why does he have so much respect for Howie Mandel? Why has he given him such like a fucking whatever, control of his life kind of thing?

Well, he's trying to work on his image, obviously. He's a truck guy. He went through the of thing. Maybe, well, he's trying to work on his image. Obviously he's a truck guy. Right. He went through the fish thing. And then now he's, maybe this new person is like, does not like being in the sink. You know,

it's a red guy, red guys. We don't pee in the sink. He's reinventing himself. And he's like, that was never me. I never like once, once maybe,

because he thinks you have to, even though he knows that he peed in the sink all the time. Yeah. He's like, no, no, no, that's old me. I don't, I don't do that. Why doesn't he have like awareness to be like, that was a joke I used to say all the time. Like at least admit it.

Yeah. He's just a fucking liar, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The most lies. I just, I mean, does he really respect, it could be he's just trying to change his image but or he just really respects

Howie Mandel and he doesn't want to look bad in front of Howie oh Howie it was once yeah what the fuck peeing outside or peeing in a sink

nothing better dude yep yep yep dude if there's if the bathroom's blocked I'm pissing in your sink bro I love peeing in sinks I peed in the sink a little hot I peed in the sink, I'm pissing in your sink, bro. I love peeing in sinks. I peed in the sink. A little hot.

I peed in the sink. Hanging low. I peed in the sink. It's just not even funny. Yeah, I was crazy. Yeah, it's not a funny thing to say to people. Well, I'm wrong because we say it all the time. We're on the stream.

If we were going to go pee, we'd say we're going to pee in the sink. I don't think you're wrong, actually, because I've misunderstood what you said at first. I thought you were saying like, it's just not funny to watch it. But what you meant is that it's not funny for him to say. Yeah.

Yeah, I agree. It's not a funny, it's really not that funny of a thing to say. Because it's like, oh yeah, I just peed in the sink. What?

It's a thing where you're like, excuse me? You know, it's almost, it's offensive kind of. Especially, is it my sink that you peed in? Or you pee in your sink and I just use your sink? You know, that's like, excuse me? You know, it's almost, it's offensive kind of, especially is it my sink that you peed in or you pee in your sink and I just use your sink?

You know, that's like, it's not, there's nothing funny about it. What is funny is him saying it and us seeing him say it because it's like ironic and unintentionally funny. You know, like this guy saying that he does that all the time, thinking it's hilarious.

It's funny when stupid people do something like asinine and they think that you think it's funny, but it's like, no, actually, I think you're too old to, you should never have peed in the sink. Like 10 is probably too old to pee in the sink. I don't know if you can do that when you're 10. I mean, I'd be able to reach it. But like, there's really no age

where peeing in the sink is okay. Yeah. Same thing with the, who shit my pants? Adam Ray, you suck. to be able to reach it. Right. But like, there's really no age where peeing in the sink is okay. Yeah. Same thing with Who Shit My Pants. Adam Ray, you sucked. Dude, you're a blog buster.

Oh, yeah. Adam Ray as Joe Biden, we get it. We get it. Yeah, I mean, how obvious is that? I pooped my pants. Who pooped my pants?

Yeah. Who shit my pants? Every time I've seen his Joe Biden, he said that. Really? Yeah. It's like a bit that he has for Biden that Biden pooped his pants.

It's like a cherry on top of the icing. There's already a laugh, then he goes, who shit my pants? Hey, guess what, Adam Ray? You're a blog buster. Yeah. Adam Ray. You're a dick batter. That's also not funny.

It's just mean to old people, right? Oh, it's hilarious that sometimes old people poop their pants that's so funny no it's not if i was an old man i put my pants i'd be embarrassed like how do i get rid of this poop thanks adam ray you fucking loser how about this adam ray i'd rather be next to an old man that shit his pants than hear you tell a joke about how you're wearing the wrong shirt for the hundredth time you fucking bitch oh and then i get this shirt on could you put it on you stupid bitch you put the shirt on stop putting on stuff you don't like fuck you that's so funny i always feel like a rebel neighbor hear me say fuck adam ray

adam ray lives next door by the way he sucks i was gonna try to play a shop after your speech and see what he says let's see here peed in the sink hanging low he didn't sink yeah he did i always feel like a rebel when i do that in this we're basically hell's angels i'll be honest if i met you on the street and oh speak of the devil i just knew he was coming i shit my who shit my pants it's like uh what is the candy man yeah say adam ray three times and then you get a bad impersonation of a celebrity you forgot. Who should I be? I'm Dr. Phil. Hilarious.

Who wears this jacket? It has two black lines. Yeah. I look like a bumblebee. Who combs their hair like this? It looks like he's trying to, in this scene where he's dressed up, it looks like he's trying to be like that guy in history, Hyenas. Who's that?

Giannis Papas. Giannis, yeah. I like Giannis. I will not go on a rant against Giannis. I don't like Giannis, dude. No? Sorry. Yeah, he teaches him. Tuberculosis hat right here. Tuberculosis face. Giannis is the new Bert where I say I like him for a while and then eventually it comes to me and I'm like, you guys are right.

I fucking hate Giannis. You're like, all right, just say that and it'll send you down like a fucking path of destruction. If I met you on the street and somebody pointed at you and was like, that guy's a sink pisser and then ran away, I probably would go, yeah, that checks out.

Sometimes you're Why am I peeing in the sink? That's Adam Ray. Yeah, Adam Ray. I just pissed in the sink backstage. Why did I do that? Yep, classic Adam Ray right there. Yep. Loser. Not going to lie, this kind of looks like the setup

we have now, dude. Like, very blank. It's almost like they're copying us. Yeah. Look at the table to the side there. You know what I mean? Two tables to the side. That table is the same table. You didn't even try that one. I mean, can they even tell? You just gave them the right...

Oh, yeah. They could tell. Yeah. You got the stool over there. The merch. Hot merch. Yeah. Let's see. Think, though, you know? I read all the books on biker gang. You went to go get a diet cooks before this episode, much like somebody that would do for your shop.

Right. A hundred percent. And you almost went into the seven 11 in the sketchy neighborhood with that hot cheeto. Oh yeah. I was going to wear this, but then, you know,

thankfully I stopped myself, gave it to you for safekeeping. I handed it off to you. Like you're my dad, but dad, my hot Cheeto chain. This is posted by Caterpillar Hot 7539. It's called Thick Boy Bite Club

and Thick Boy Comedy are back. Merry New Year's. Let's see. Uh-oh. I've noticed that not everyone appreciates how difficult it is to put yourself out there express yourself publicly through art comedy and entertainment

I guess if it was easy everyone would be doing it he has bike shoes oh my god I didn't even know there was such a thing the slow motion thing makes him look like a slug on a bike. Let's see.

Ready? Right? The tricky thing about our type of work is people assume they know all about us. Like they can say anything they want to get a one-liner off. There's no consequences for putting that type of energy out in the universe. I'm a comedian. I get it, but I'm also a grown man. I signed the

dot line for this life. I signed the dot line. I can't tell if this is real or not. I joined the dot com for this life. Half of what Chop does, I can't tell if it's real. real dude but these are real you know we watched that one uh black buffalo nicotine right uh commercial that was real it's just so crazy that an executive i guess maybe black rifle is probably not executive black buffalo

dude or black ruffalo don't fuck up a bag like this black ruffalo but i mean whatever this is, what is it called? What is it? Black Buffalo. Black Buffalo. Okay. I just took what I know. Oh, really?

Mm-hmm. No, you didn't. Dude, don't. I guess they're not executives. They're just some guy probably, right, who has a company. But even a some guy, I can't believe the guy's like, yeah, this is good. This is the dialogue we want to

go with. I signed a dialogue. This is like his, it sounds like Schaub just his show. This is the stuff he talks about on the show. Yeah. We could have got Jorge Masvidal or Brendan Schaub. Guys, we're going with Brendan Schaub. It's like, who else? I guess nobody else I guess I mean

Masvidal would it be like you know I created bare knuckle boxing or whatever this thing's called wave anybody would be better yeah yeah but shops like people make fun of me sometimes good luck if I ever see you in the dotted line yeah I'm gonna fuck you up better not see you at Starbucks what does that have to do with fucking chewing tobacco? Yeah. Whatever the fuck. My wife made me go to the Starbucks to fuck up a guy. Black Buffalo. I'm a black belt in podcasting, okay? I drink a rain every night.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. We're doing Black Buffalo on this one. My background literally taught me how to take a punch and keep moving forward. Never stop evolving. That's so funny though. Never stop evil is pretty great. It looks like he spelled it. Yeah.

And it's spelled. Yeah. It would look like it's spelled wrong. They don't think about these kinds of things. They're not, they're not details guys. Never been. Big truck guy though. Let's see. I want see i want to see at the end of the day we're all just humans trying to figure out

weird shot it does look like a wax statue of a neanderthal neanderthal or like a one of those movies that nicholas cage came out with later in his career where he looks all crazy on purpose. Yeah, this is the wicker man. Right before he's put into a beehive. This game of life. I believe there are people with good intentions and people with bad intentions. I know where I stand and I stand where I believe in.

I couldn't be more proud of the brands we've built, the companies we've started. He has a name on his helmet. Does he have his name on his helmet because he's worried that he's going to lose it? It's in his cubby. That's why. Oh, right, right, right. Scoop it back.

Let's see. I believe there are people with good intentions and people with bad intentions. I know where I stand, and I stand on what I believe. I went back way too much. There. See? Shab. He's worried someone else is going to have this helmet. You wouldn't get one that says Cooney? No. I wouldn't get one that says

Alarcon. Cooney's a sick-ass name, though. Well, thank you. I appreciate that. I think Alarcon's a great name. I'm going to take Cooney. You're not using it for what you can't use it for, dude. I like it way too much. All right.

If you want a helmet that says Cooney. Gerardo Cooney. With three C's or one C? One C. One C. Interesting. Or am I gay? Yeah, no, I don't think I'd put my name on my helmet.

You're lost, dude. Yeah. Unless there was some sort of issue with it, like you're at camp, summer camp. Oh. Then sure. Or you're like camp summer camp. Oh, then sure. Or you're like teaching T-ball. Right. I wear a helmet,

like give me a batter's helmet. Well, yeah, I'm biking there. I was making a joke, but yeah, sorry. I'm too little.

Yeah. I met a batter's home. I don't know how to fucking continue being funny outside of that. Maybe he thinks that the all in one helmet, you could go batting. Like, are you going to piss me off so much? You can be the hiccups, dude. Oh, well, sorry of that. Maybe he thinks it's all in one helmet. You could go batting. Are you going to piss me off so much? You can be the hiccups, dude. Well, sorry about that, but all in one helmet is pretty funny. Yeah, they use it like shop just

thinks you wear helmets places. Oh, let me check up my helmet. Why do you have it on? This is a board meeting. Let's go for the shot. It's your brain. It keeps your brain together. Out of the brands we've built, the companies we've started,

the success that we've had, I'm being me and doing me with a clear mission and a full heart. I'm committed to the believers, the dreamers, the supporters, and I charge ahead for the greater good of us.

Who else is going to get on the grift of helping Brendan Schaub out? There's like a new grift of it's like, this guy's not that bad. Right. It's the companies that will kill you that he will work with. Anything that's bad for you. Monster. Yeah, like energy drinks, tobacco.

Those are the kind of things We have a limited pool of people that are willing to sell our product Brendan Schaaf is willing He's on the phone right now calling us He's been cold calling Tobacco companies To sell our merch To be our guy

Here's what makes me laugh though about this It's not what makes me laugh The reason why it seems like it's fake to me is because he is so bad at reading that he's reading a script, right? And he's also bad at acting. So he has a script that's been written either by him or someone else

and he's trying to read it, but he reads slow. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense to the point that it sounds like it's AI. It has that AI cadence. Yeah. Right? Doesn't it?

I was noticing that too, but it makes total sense for Brendan Schaub. Yeah. If it was like a Leonardo DiCaprio climate change thing, you know what I mean? It would be like, okay, maybe they used AI if he sounds like that. Because Leo's known for changing his voice and being a character. Oh, Jesus Christ. But no, for Brendan Schaub, for sure, where he says success, they had him do that over

because he said success. And then here he goes success like a professional. And it sounds like it's spliced in. That's so funny, the idea of that being a Leonardo DiCaprio climate change ad and he reads it like this. That'd be fucking funny. Okay, so here, just

really quick, listen to the snippet yeah and tell me this is not like the fifth take yeah we've started the success that we've had he said that way too good yeah he got some success that we had they may be they may be like atrophied it with a little bit of ai to make it sound right i mean mean, good people are good at this. Have trouble with advertising. Like the guy, the Allstate guy, there's that famous,

um, the black cut. Yeah. My, I don't actually know if it's famous because, uh, my friend worked in commercials and he played us this hour long. Sorry.

I did the sequence again. It was an hour long thing of like the guy fucking up. He kept, he'd be like, and that's Allstate saying, God damn it. He kept fucking it up. He kept, he'd be like, and that's all the stage, Sam. God damn it. He kept fucking it up. So if he has trouble, imagine

what it's like to do this with Shab. Yeah. This is why Shab is like boasting about how it takes seven months to record 30 seconds. And most of that dialogue. Alrighty, let's at least we don't ADR anything here.

No, never once. Only one take. Very serene. Got a bird noise at the end. Black buffalo way. Crazy. Wow. Are you going to try some black buffalo now?

Never. Never? Neither. I might have to now. I'm the one that, or is it tobacco? Yeah, it's tobacco. Something like that. It contains nicotine.

So we'll see what's up. Yeah, they have to, you always want to advertise for a thing where they have to have a warning on it. All righty, let's see. This one's posted by ConfidenceSearch8648. This is not snake oil. I'll tell you what's not going to kill you. Cancer. Yeah, I'll tell you what's not going to kill you.

Let's take a little break, fellas, from this deep talk. Yeah, I'll tell you what's not going to kill you. Kratom. And I swear. It has. It has. It has? Yeah, there was one lady that got killed by Kratom. Oh my God.

I think it was like off-brand Kratom because there wasn't anything on the bag. Their husband came home and he found her dead and there was an empty bag of Kratom of some kind. I don't know the facts around this, but I remember one time someone commented like, that's not true. She did this or whatever. Oh, sure.

Right. Right. Right. All right. It gets you off of opium, but it doesn't kill you. Yeah. Let's see. I used Krayton to fight my brain for a podcast stand-up.

It's my limitless bill. It's like limitless. Oh, dude. I'm like Bradley Cooper, bro. What? You never seen that movie, dude? Limitless? Yeah. Dude, that's a good movie. Oh, okay. Yeah. No, definitely. What? You never seen that movie, dude? Limitless? Yeah. Dude, that's a good movie.

Oh, okay. No, definitely take it. It's Limitless. He basically takes this drug that's like Adderall, but it makes him like super duper smart. It's entertaining. Okay. Yeah, but dude, that's not what shop is.

Even that face. Is that Limitless? No. There ain't nothing behind that. This is definitely, I'm pissed that you talked during my ad reads. You know these ad reads take seven months usually. Let's see. This is not snake oil.

He'd start seizing up and his lips turn blue and he would go, Papa, boo-boo, and point to his brain. Then I went on some blog or some forum where there's other parents who kids suffered from this. And they go, do not give your kid the prescription. Did you say parents right now? He said parents. Oh, so you said parents.

Yeah. I thought it was like George or somebody said parents right now, dude. It's so weird. I'm so used to being way closer. Oh, yeah. We're far away now, Davey. Huh? Just kidding.

That the doctors are giving you try CBD oil hell yeah I gave him CBD oil this is not snake oil it's that easy so be ready to spice things up in the sack boost your sex game and do it naturally with all the nasty prescription drugs clinical studies we're talking real

science eugenics key ingredients like testophen eugenics did he just say eugenics, key ingredients like testophen. Eugenics? Testophen. Eugenics. Did he just say eugenics? It sounded like he said it. Science, eugenics, key ingredients like testophen.

Well, maybe he's saying eugenics. Maybe the product's called eugenics. He said eugenics. But it has testophen in it. Everybody knows that. Science, eugenics, key ingredients like testophen have been shown to boost free testosterone levels in men. In other words, it's based in science and it freaking works. They have it for everything. Lean muscle mass, recovery, inflammation, neurological benefits.

To pause between that is so funny. Yeah, that's good. To the believers, the dreamers, the supporters, and I charge ahead for the greater good of us. Talking about SureShot. That's right. Your world's first alcohol detoxifier that reduces blood alcohol content as little as 30 freaking minutes. This is not snake oil.

This is not magic. This is real freaking deal Holyfield. You know what it is? During the mornings, I wake up at 4, right? I take my magic mind in my mind. I'm ready to go, dude. I'm ready to go. I'm solving an equation I couldn't do before.

Solving equations? He's doing math after he takes magic mind? I'm solving equations. No chance. Holyfield here, all right? You know what it is? During the mornings, I wake up at 4, right? I take my magic mind in my mind.

I'm ready to go. I'm ready to go. I'm solving an equation I couldn't do before. It's gambling problem. It is. So it's 10% off semi-annual sale. You get 25% off this mind bolstering power. Bolstering.

Mind bolstering. Did he take the alpha brain before this ad read? He should have. With the backwards. The upside-down LA hat. He doesn't know it's upside-down. Bolstering. Upside-down LA hat.

Perfect. This is like, it's like a writer wrote this. This makes me think simulation theory is right. The 40-year-old old thick boy let's see um all right this one's posted by live classic 2266 two tall men out and about uh it's peter dinklage and joe rogan as you can see i definitely would watch a dinklage rogan interview that would be dope i would watch a dinklage-Rogan buddy comedy. Yes, me too. They would have to get some

close-up cameras. It's like Harold and Kumar go to Game of Thrones. Ivermectin. Ivermectin, yeah. So bad. No, you're good. Knocked up on Ivermectin. Let's see here. Cedar for Life posted this one. It's called It's Tough B.

Let's see. Is this? Okay, something's burning. It's those guys, the Bustin' with Boys guys. Rogan, you, and then who's a third? You know, it's got to be like one of those dudes. It's not. I'll tell you.

I've worked out with a lot of comics. We take them on the road with us. It's not Greg Fitzsimmons. It's definitely not Greg Fitzsimmons. Just saying. It's definitely not Greg Fitzsimmons. God, I don't know who it would be. It would have to be, oh, I don't.

Callan? No. Callan's about... Shaw. Well, he's not really a comic. That's true. When I even brought Callan up, I was like, oh, no. And as soon as you brought him up, I was like, I know why he brought Callan up.

And then I was like, I'm not saying that name, because then that other name is going to come up. Don't edit that. Don't edit that. Don't edit that. Don't edit that. Everybody knows the gold mine that is Brendan Schott. Everyone. Everyone. That's kind of weird, though.

I like that one of them's in a suit and one of them's in a sweater. That's just funny to me. Yeah. We should do that. I'll wear a suit or you wear a suit and then I'll wear like stuff you could get at Urban Outfitters out of the people in this room

who owns a suit dude yeah that's true yeah alright I'll wear the suit yeah you wear the suit I'm not gonna fit in your suit dude yeah I mean

a small guy in a big suit he's fucking clown idiots why don't you invite Adam Ray so that the whole world can collapse on itself? Seventh layer of hell. I hate the Roganverse where they mention shop

and they go, why would I do that? They turn into Adam Ray immediately. Who brings up shop like that? Why would I do that? You did it because you want views, you bitch. I said the wrong word. Nah, that's a good word.

God damn it. Got to block that part out. Let's see here. Because you know, YouTube, they update us every week about words we can't say. Yeah, true. They've been saying a lot of stuff that we can't do. We can't talk about busting with the boys anymore.

Why would we do that? Why would we bring them up? Why would we say that? Oh my God. This one's posted by Reverend born again. Jokes that flew over Joe's head and a whole lot of kissing the ring. I've seen this clip on, I don't know how many upvotes up dudes,

621. It's just like, I don't, it's not interesting to me at all. I haven't seen it yet, but I can't say that I'm like super into the whole Rogan doesn't get jokes bit. I mean, it's funny. It's, you know, but it's like, is

it, is it, is it Netflix? Yeah, I don't know. I don't like Giannis Pappas. I like Chris DeStefano. I don't like Giannis Pappas. I like them both. Cue to a few weeks later. I hate them both. The episode with Joe Rogan is up right now. And honestly, dude, the Joe Rogan episode,

I'm going to be fully 100% honest with you. Me and Giannis bombed. Okay? I mean, we were taking big swigs, and we were bombing. And it got to the point where we had so many jokes that missed that we were starting to just do it for each other. And every time one of us, like Giannis made a Wagovi joke. He goes, Giannis goes, yeah, I think for Christmas this year,

I'm going to put Wagovi in all my, in my family stockings. And I was like, and Joe was like, why would you do that? And just stared at the both of us. I wanted to agree with you, but I mean, usually I don't really laugh at those things. Under the table. I was like, ah. And then, dude, I had a couple of ones that bombed hard. I did this one where I just started ripping a Korean accent.

And it was an awful Korean accent. And Giannis was laughing. And Joe was just looking at me smoking a cigar. Just watch. I felt like I was doing a Korean accent in front of my high school principal. I was just absolutely bombing. But at the end, but at the end, here's the thing.

Joe Rogan, it's just great to do because it's like a great muscle to build because you just got to keep doing, you know, jokes and whatever. And sometimes he laughs, sometimes he doesn't

because Joe is just Joe, man. That's what I love about Joe is he's, you know what Joe is? Here's the difference. Like it's crazy that you can talk this much about an interview,

but it is, you know, add hack to say this, but Rogan's the difference it's crazy that you can talk this much about an interview but it is hack to say this but Rogan's the new Carson difference the difference is that Johnny Carson was funny Johnny Carson was a talented comedian very funny guy and Joe Rogan is a great host

and we like his show but he's just not funny at all really he can be funny in conversation but he's no arbiter like his show, but he's just not funny at all, really. He can be funny in conversation, but he's no arbiter of funny. Look at who he's picked. We've said it before. Schaub, Hinchcliffe, Adam Ray, fucking Andrew Schultz. They're all trash.

Patrick Bet-David, trash. He's not good at picking people that talk about other things either. All a bunch of fucking idiot morons. Did you say Tony Hitchcliffe? I did. Okay. Let's not forget that hungry wolf. Who did Tony pick? What do you mean? Adam Ray.

Oh, God. It's just like, you know, bad begets bad, dude. Oh, yeah. They're all friends. They're like the Tim Dillon used to say that bad comedians stick together like the mafia or whatever. Well, guess what, Tim? You're part of it now. Okay? You're in that. Why would you say that yeah why would you do that you fired ben and you uh decided to hang out with losers so fuck you joe is that he represents the truth so that's what i love about joe rogan and that now after the fourth or fifth time doing the show is what he represents

is the truth he's not gonna laugh to make you feel better. He's going to laugh because he genuinely thinks it's funny. And if it's not funny, he's not going to laugh. And I appreciate that about Joe. He is just, he represents, and he will tell you the truth. Well, all your other, like he was the only one that told me, Hey, you're an idiot for selling your house on Staten Island. So don't let anyone tell you that that was a good decision. Cause he, but decision. But what's beautiful about Joe, when I've gone to now actually become friendly with him and he's told me off air, you have any big decisions in your life, call me. I'll give you my time and I'll give you my advice. And I'm like, that's awesome. I appreciate that at all. I would love to ask you what house I

should buy while you're skinning an elk. I would love that. Yeah, like I said, kind of mediocre. Yeah. I feel like I've heard it before. I knew it. I watched that and I was like, what else you got, Chin? You know what I mean?

Don't want that. All right. So this one's posted by Richard8064. I think he's one of our guys. Oh, nice. Need vote. Don't let Boppa lose. If you follow podcast cringe on YouTube, who's the biggest lol cow of 2024?

Dude, Bert Kreischer, Brennan Schaub, Andrew Scholls, Terrence Howard. I, I think I voted for Andrew Scholls. I didn't get a chance to vote.

I do miss Terrence Howard's crazy interviews though. I like those a lot. I don't miss it. Let's see here. This one's posted by ConfidenceSearch8648. The car giveaway grift explained by an expert. I did not watch this, so I don't know if it's like satirical or for real, for real. Yeah, I put 100% on satirical, but maybe not. I hope it's real. I hope this guy really like broke down chops. I haven't seen the clip yet though, So let's see what happens. Let's just go ahead and jump straight into the content. The very first thing I want to talk about is the legitimacy of car giveaways, but there's unfortunately some shysters out there that pop up a shell company that have not been in business very long. And you know, they're going to drive fast, I guess. Sounds like it. Take your money

on buying merch or whatever. And then the next thing is I want to talk about the official rules and regulations and make sure that it is drafted by some legal expert. So for instance, we've never seen Lex before. That's what he looks like. So Lex is in the fighting, I guess. Looks like it. Since we have a company that we hired to make up these official rules and regulations, because I realized that I want to make sure you guys feel good about a legitimate giveaway, bonding these giveaways. A lot of people don't realize there's a couple

of states out there that require you to license and bond a car giveaway, like Florida and New York. What's up Dallas? Basically saying that if you want to run your car giveaway to one of our potential residents, you have to basically ensure to us that you are actually going to give the vehicle away and that licensing and bonding is what guarantees that. Now, the other thing is I want you to watch out for red flags. A couple of red flags is that smaller company that maybe the ads don't look right or the rules and regulations, just something doesn't look right. Make sure that you actually go through and read those.

Now I want to kind of share with you the numbers. This guy, he's so trustworthy sounding. I believe everything. This is what I'm talking about when I'm like, there are some people that are just trustworthy, right? This guy is. He's got me. If he's lying, then I would fall for it. Yeah.

Yeah, that polo is doing a lot of heavy lifting, dude. I see a guy in a polo, I'm like, this guy's facts. Yeah, it is. It gives him a little bit of, I don't know. I don't know what the word I would use is, but. Polo with a British accent? I'm like, dude, is this like a professor? What is the word I'm looking for?

Credibility. Credibility. There we go. These car giveaways. So you kind of understand how they operate as a business. Finally here, last seven days, you have 10% off the entire site. When you use the promo code last week,

you get 10% off your entire order, plus 50 time bonus entries. These car giveaway companies, they are businesses. Most of them, if not all of them, are in it to make money. Let's say that you buy a t-shirt or hat or a hoodie. Dude, this is dead on.

Yeah, he's really in the Super Duty giveaway. Well, you've got your total amount of money that you've spent on that particular shirt. And in that, inside of that, you know, the car giveaway company has got to pay to fulfill that t-shirt. And then out of that, you also have to make sure you sell enough of that merch to cover the cost of the vehicle. And then in addition to that, you, if you've got advertising going on outside of what we do, which is our YouTube channel, you've also got to account for the cost of advertising. And what's left is the profit. The thing is, is that our situation is a little different than these smaller companies that just do car giveaways. Car giveaway is not

our main bread and butter. This is not how we make our money. We make our money when we sell a customer a vehicle, an F-150 sleeper. We make our money when we sell customization. We make our money when we sell a customer a vehicle, an F-150 sleeper. We make our money when we sell customization. We make our money when we sell other things. This is just an opportunity for us to get our brand, which we think is cool, TC Customs. Life is too short to be driving a stock vehicle. This is our opportunity to get our brand out there by having you guys. Life's too short to drive electric yeah he stole it from this this video came out like way too long ago he's like hmm this i'm now realizing that the truck giveaway i always assumed it was kind of a scam right but i'm now realizing that

the way the scam is is very hoctua like you know that crypto kind of like it's a fake thing they created to get a bunch of people to give them money, but there's no real payoff for anybody but the people at the top. It's like a pyramid scheme or something. I didn't realize that. Pyramid giveaway. Yeah.

Shop goes, we're giving away a pyramid, I mean a truck, to the person who wins. Congratulations, you won your pyramid, I mean truck. Let's see. Again, I'm a numbers guy. Holding alcohol. Oh, man.

All right. A little bit of insight there. Yeah, that was really interesting. I like that. Let's see. This one's posted by FinancialSkin4969. Why is she lying so hard? Okay, I pulled this up because, yeah, dude, not a chance.

Go ahead and read it, Cooney. Me realizing the year is almost over and all I've done is take care of my kids, clean the house 658,374,397 times, do the laundry, cook, and lose my shit. 658 million, by the way. Oh, did I say 1,000? Yeah, you're not a numbers guy. I've never been a numbers guy. No.

You didn't wink. You closed your eye. I can't wink, and I don't know math. What is the probability of this being true? I would say 0%. Yeah, I mean, they got to have somebody doing doing this shit they got money to do some of the stuff maybe cook

well she does cook right they're not doing laundry beans and cheese every night you're gonna be doing a lot of laundry with that taquitos and lose my shit that's the only believable thing in here yeah she got mad at the guy at Starbucks

so yeah dude all right uh icarus liz posted this one what happens next this was great last week so let's see what the second one's about what happened next used to talk about in the 90s and it actually happened but do you remember the first companion and brian good you go what should we call it brian goes let's call it a silly goose time. And you go, fuck you. Do you remember that? What do you think happens?

Lopez moment? Yeah, he definitely repeats the joke. Oh, fuck. No, no, doesn't repeat the joke is not what happens. Lopez, Lopez, Lopez. He repeats it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He goes, you go, what should we call this show?

And you're like, no, I got it. And Brian goes, no, no, let's call it Silly Goose Talk. Oh, my God. We're not even watching this fight. Hey, B, let's take a little break. Yeah. And if you need a break, I will be. Well, pretty obvious.

Apleton West Coggins he doesn't really say that I was in Appleton West Coggins and September 10th your face oh my god Brian's like what just happened

I was on the phone with her and she goes I'm wearing a butt plug for you and I was on the phone with her and she goes I'm wearing a butt plug for you and I was like say less I'll be right over yeah I was like that

but this is this was the culprit that's naughty what's a butt plug I thought it was supposed to be Brian's wearing one right now I thought it was supposed to be for vaginally

Yeah my dad came by To my apartment we just had food Korean food and Shake Shack Shake Shack Shake what do you love Shake Shake I call it Shake Shake That's a good bit that he does when he fucks up and then he pretends like he's meant to do it on purpose.

I call it Shake Shake. I call it Steve. Every time he fucks up something, that's what I call it, actually. No, it isn't. You're Chief Wahoo. Yeah, I was just going to say that. Shake Shake. That's what me and the kids call it, Shake Shake.

I wear Chief Wahoo hats. That's what I wear. It's the same thing the kids call it. Shake, shake. I wear Chief Wahoo hats. That's what I wear. It's the same thing. He just does everything wrong or weird. Weird. You ready for part three, dude? Oh, yeah. Dude, these What Happens things are hilarious.

Icarus Lives again posted this one. Let's see. What happened next? Now I follow him. It's also a trucker. Yeah. Well, now. I'm not saying they don't look good, but I mean.

Truckers are tough, dude. I come from a trucking family. You might throw some hands. You're lucky that was my... Uncle Charlie, my grandpa? You're lucky that was my Uncle Charlie, my grandpa. Which one is it, dude? It can't be both. That's one of those rare situations where? It can't be both.

That's one of those rare situations where you actually can't go both ways. You cannot be both. It can't be your uncle and your grandpa, dude. I got an uncle, Charlie. He's also my grandpa. Dude, what if someone does this to us? We could easily do this to us too, man. God damn it.

Yeah, we're pretty bad. We're fucked. I'd be in trouble. You would have got all the problems. I'd have my hands full. They like to fight. Yep. And they have full sleep tattoos.

Whenever he's in a corner, Brian Callen, he's just like, keep him busy. So I'll be in trouble. I'll be busy. You will be. This kid is on a rocket ship to superstardom. You know I'm at SUGA. I call him Sean O'Malley. I'm feeding him penis. What? No way he says I'm feeding him penis dude. Nah man. I'm feeding him pitas. I'm feeding him pitas. I'm feeding them pitas.

Pitas. Chipotle style, tomato peas, a little bit of smoky. Just because. But you fancy yourself a chef too, right? People tell me you like to cook. I like to cook. I ain't no chef, but I love cooking. So I've even got my own cooking channel.

So I even do. It looks like he just realized that Volk is Australian. He's like, what? You talk like that? What are you talking about? Oh, really, dude? All righty. Well, that's all we have today.

We just have this last one here. It's posted by, what is this name? Chellistastics. Yeah. Happy New Year's Homeless Cats, dude. This is the first show for the new year for us. Check that. Happy New Year's to you too, Bray. Any thoughts on that face right there, dude? Not a good one.

You know, had a, looks like a rough New Year's. Let's see if we can get on the mouth really quick. You know, we're heavy teeth podcast. Bigger than mine. That's not real we can get on the mouth really quick. You know, we're a heavy teeth podcast. Bigger than mine. That's not real. They fucked with the tooth. They fucked with the tooth.

There's no way that's his real mouth. A tooth is moving away from the other teeth. That's not real. I don't know. I'm not sure. I mean, it could be fake because the fish was fake. Yeah. I think the fish was real, dude.

To this day. Yeah, dude. I've eaten. I think the fish was real, dude. To this day. Yeah, dude. I've eaten. I've taken a bite of a fish. To this day. Alright. See you next week. Oh! I got a podcast You can download anywhere Maybe we can get some views

Maybe together we can get some clicks I am Blockbuster Started from zero, should have been on YouTube Maybe we'll make content Me, myself, Brian, you say too Bop-bop I got a fast truck Me, myself, Brian, you say too. Papa. I got a fast truck.

I got a plan to walk you to. We've been working at the comedian store. Venice tonight will be a little bit funny. Won't have to walk too far. Just cross the street into my Chevy. You and I can both go in. And finally see how it feels to be fucking see my co-host got a problem

he don't think no that's the way it is he says his body's too hot for Brian yeah body's too hot to not like his his fans went off

and left him they want to grow more from then on down I said somebody's got to do show I fucked on I said somebody has got to do a show I fucked up I'm sorry

keep going alright alright I'll come in with it I got a fast truck do it I got a fast truck it's fast enough

just to go both ways she's got to make a decision be with chicks or with the guy so I remember when we were walking walking to my truck Be with Chiggs or with the guy. So I remember when we were walking, walking to my truck. Joke so bad you thought I was drunk.

LA lights lay out before us and I did not like in the cold short. And I, I had a special that was romantic. I, I had a feeling I could be Brendon, be Brendo, be Brendo. One take. We should just keep that. Keep going. Because it's so hard. That's actually decent.