10 Minutes of Schaub - Brendan Schaub has a RESENCY IN AUSTIN! | 10 Minutes of Schaub #89

Episode Date: February 13, 2024

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One, two, three, four. What if God bet on himself? Left showtime and below the bell What if God was Brandon Shaw? Black belt in podcasting but not a draw What if God was a homeless cat Making clips of every day What if God had eight inches

Of boots and a big old day. What if God walked you to your truck? One take. Stop at my favorite time of the week. When you get there, pop up, try to speak. Release surprises today. You better act gay or watch 10 Minutes of Shop. Welcome back to 10 Minutes of Shop. Thanks for tuning in. Good to see you guys, you cats and hawks.

Yeah. Yeah. Let me readjust my Hot Cheetos necklace. Yeah, so good that you're here. Let me talk to you a little bit about Patreon. We did a Toontown this week, dude. Yeah, we did. Please subscribe. That's how bad Whitney Cummings was. We were like, we need a week

off stand-up. Yeah, Toontown was great. We had a good time watching that. Very entertaining. So if you really want to know how we thought about it, check that out. We also have a Reddit now. We've always had a Discord, so join that. At raccoon underscore tweeties, dude. Yeah. A lot of Sharpie talk. That's right. A lot of sharpie talk that's right a lot

of sharpie talk a lot of joe rogan calling you a cook stuff like that yeah yeah yeah the reddit's good it's a it's not a sad thing yeah um but yeah that's not why you're here though no they're never here for that we got shows follow us on instagram at gerardo comedy at cooney or die thank you best brains yes follow us there to see shows but they're not here for that no no they're here to watch 10 minutes of shab so start the timer play the chain clip you got it b uh well dude i i did not expect this but it's been a heavy week at chang's and i think we have another thing to add to the lexicon dude oh yeah yeah do you want to read that title right there? Mexa Kid. Yes. Uh-oh. It's posted by Successful Capital 2717. Let's see what this narrative is about, dude. Ready?

Wow. He was playing with the older kids on Saturday. There was this Mexa Kid throwing junk, throwing fat. Mexa Kid. In my head, it was all Latinos. That's how you know he's playing high level. I'm sorry. He just laughs like it's a transformer.

Yeah. A Mexi Kid. Mexa Kid. Roll out. Uh-oh. I'm sorry. He just laughs like it's a transformer. Yeah. A Mexi-kid? Mexi-kid. Roll out. Que sadia. Damn. Mexi-kid. I'm excited for a new thing.

D'Elia is working for Chang's a little bit there. Called it out. I didn't really get the Transformers bit. I was not there for that, but the new word I like. Yeah. Okay, Mexikid. I'm a Mexikid, dude. You're a Mexikid.

You were born and raised. Wow. He's kind of talking about me in that clip, and I like that, dude. Yeah. I never thought I would have this day. D'Elia kind of did the, you know, he went right into the shop thing of like quesadilla. It's osmosis it's like he's so close

to the beast you can't help but do it if you hang around Shab enough you're gonna be like fajitas it always happens dude uh we got another successful

capital 217 uh yeah 217 clip how the hell was this guy gonna host a game show he can barely talk so this is

he talks for a living this is for a living this is a narrative he's already spun before we watched this before sure but i think he did it on this week's episode too when are they gonna remake fear factor they did with ludicrous and he beat me out to be the host you know i was second in the line for it and they hired ludicrous you're kidding me yeah it sounds like he said he was sick and in the line for it it's too bad he didn't say the name of the show because he says Fairfactor. Fair. It could have been a little bit of nostalgia there for when he first said it. Oh, well.

It could be Fairfactor, and then it's like contestants trying to get better pay from him. Like a fair wage. And a Fairfactor, he wouldn't even be on this, right? He wouldn't have started stand-up. He would have just been a UFC guy. The golden hour of fear, dude. Alright, so this is the most popular clip at Chang's this week.

So we had to watch it. It's called Don't Laugh at a Diddler Show, posted by Thick Boy with Three C's. Oh yeah, I've seen this one. Yeah. Let's see what this is. Cried for four days. I really did cry for four days. Then, the fifth day, you laughing at that? You seem very well adjusted. It's funny, dude. four days. Then, the fifth day...

You laughing at that? You seem very well adjusted. It's funny, dude! Yeah, it's funny. Well, you're at a comedy show, right? It's not a TED talk, you know that, right? Mer-de-li-li. No, with a cowboy hat? Wow. Of course. You don't cry? What if your horse breaks up with you? Tastes of you to it

That's Jelly Roll Jelly Roll's in the audience with his chick Man, I love your shit Christian Lee, man I remember when I started doing music Actually, before I started doing music I was addicted to drugs I had nothing I started doing music. Actually, before I started doing music, I was addicted to drugs.

I had nothing. I had nothing left. All I had was my brother hot tub. Yeah, all I had was my brother chili sack. And I was ready to die. But then I turned on, what is this special with the blackmail? What is it? Oh, blackmail white comic. I turned on blackmail white comic, and I thought about how funny drunk white bitches are.

And I turned it all around. Never let they hurt my life. The jelly roll, dude? You fucking laughing at my show, brother? Then my brother Butterfly showed me this guy named Chris DeLito. And I said to myself, well, if he can be that funny, then maybe heroin doesn't have the hold on me I thought it did.

Since my father dashboard left my life, I have nothing but Chris DeLito left me. Let's see. Hey, bro, you got to leave if you're going to be a fucking asshole.

You know what I mean? I understand you're with your girl, I don't want to embarrass you, and it's cool you got an upgrade from a horse, but still. Alright, two legs will do. Dude, that's what he said when he saw her, he said... Dude, he showed up at the first date with flowers and a saddle! He said, hey. She said his saddle. He said, hey. She said, hey. He said, no.

Hey. Nice. Damn, dude. I know other people make the clips, right? And I probably had this done, but sometimes the graphics are real hard. You know, a hey graphic. Yeah. I hope that if when I have people do clips for me,

they have the good sense to not do stuff like that. Because when I see that, when I see a clip, it's like maybe fucking, I don't know. Like my joke about the tarot and Filipinos, if they literally put tarot on the screen, I'm like, fuck! I knew I should have watched the clips before I just let them post them. No, if somebody's going to cut a clip of you saying that and then a clip that I cut with graphics.

Yeah. Listen, we do what they do. I've said this many times. We criticize them and then we do the exact same thing. Like a couple of hawks, dude. Like hawks too. Exactly. Yeah.

Need I say more? I will say that when I first started comedy, I went to this bar in Norco all the time called Mavericks. And I would always, whenever I was bombing, which was often, probably never had a good set there. Okay. I would just claim that everyone there fucks horses. Right.

So you got them good. No. Murderly. No, no, no, no, no. What I'm saying is I just started comedy and i was doing that oh i see yeah basically delia has been doing it for 25 years uh all right well this one's called grifting on my turf b uh posted by icarus lives let's see what this is about bertrand and I are launching our very own

vodka who gives a oh shit hey hold on go down Brandon Shaw I hate the name of his whiskey Tiger Thick

like shit the fuck up great editing great editing that's hilarious Porosos I wonder if the cats are going to be drinking that you guys like vodka

oh yeah we talked about Porosos on Tweety yeah we went into that we looked at the marketing campaigns. Very interesting. Yeah, painted narratives left and right, B. Let's see.

This one's posted by Haphazard, dude. First Hap clip of the day. Uh-oh. Rejoice. It's called reports of the TRX's demise were greatly exaggerated. Hmm. Let's see here. Responsible gaming resources.

Yes, I like the energy, Case. The energy. Casey's been a little sick. Oh, yeah. Minky I like the energy, Case. The energy. Casey's been a little sick. Me and Casey had to carpool today. Who's Casey? I don't know. He's a new guy. Maybe he's Lex's replacement.

He owns the studio and he runs the boards. George bought a dartboard with Casey's face on it. Do you think Casey works for half of what George would work for? Pay-wise? No. Half of nothing? Adults, carpooling, dude. Casey had to pick me up from the crib. Don't you have more cars than anybody I know?

How come you need a ride? Your boy's an idiot. I know they're talking about something right now, but Casey, play hard to get, dude. He's already with the Thick Boy merch on, dude. Oh yeah, he's already idiot and i know they're talking about something right now but bro casey play hard to get dude he's already with the thick boy merch on dude oh yeah he's already got so much of it i think casey is the uh the guy with the red beanie remember i was like what is this guy oh you're right it's probably the isis guy only when they did the second shot of him did i realize that though yeah um waiting to get the trx back we should have news on that this week. So that was the dad mobile in the rain and every other thing out here.

And my other two cars have race slicks on them because I'm a moron. I like to drive fast, but race slicks can't go. I believe race slicks and don't kadoosh me if I'm incorrect. I believe race slicks have no treading on the tire. Okay.

You know how like NASCAR wheels are no treading at all? I didn't even know that. Okay. Does that make them go faster? I don't know. You're my car guy, dude. I come to you. You're basically my Toontown.

I'm Kibbuttick. You're Kibbuttick. Yeah, you're Kibbuttick. I come in the shop. I'm like, what does this mean? How do I make my Corolla faster? $7,000. Yeah, I want to...

Yeah, right. Got to check Raccoon Tweezer to get that one. Let's see. make my corolla faster six seven thousand dollars yeah i want to yeah yeah right gotta check raccoon tweezers get that one let's see i think that like thick boy studios is the game clue you know where you're trying to figure out like who is casey when like when the in the witch show pod like with what weapon you know every episode is who's who murdered who, who's the murderer in this situation? We'll see. Rain, so you can't drive. So Papa needed a ride this morning. Car pulled. It was nice.

Yeah. You like the Jetta, though. You like my Jetta. I dig the Jetta. Quality car. Reliable. I grew up in a Jetta. My Aunt Nubby had a Jetta.

It picked me up from school, so it brings back good memories. They're safe. Reliable. You know? It's just, you know. Isn't Volkswagen Porsche too? They own Porsche? Yeah, something like that.

Yeah, Volkswagen owns, I mean, a ton of it. So you're saying I basically have a Porsche? Basically. Is that what you're saying, Sean? Basically. Sure. Same thing. A little different.

Toyota Lexus. Yeah, same thing. Fight week-wise. What a transition. I think he'd be doing better if he was in a red chair. Yeah. You know, you can kind of tell. The black chair kind of zaps some energy.

Cream of the crop, these red chairs, dude. I know. This made me a better podcaster. If anyone's asking, like, I'm thinking about starting a podcast. Like, what do I need? Do I need, you know, freaking arms? What kind of microphones do I need? And all that stuff.

Get that out. No. First things first, audio is king. Yes, that's first. Second is two red chairs. Two red chairs. Done. Nothing happens with one.

There's no third thing. Yeah. Those two things, that's all you need. But it's a one-man show. Have a chair behind the camera. Yeah. Exactly. Best brains. Yes. Well, let's see what happens when he's's a one man show. Have a chair behind the camera. Yeah. Exactly. Best brains.

West. Well, let's see what happens when he's in a black chair on the golden hour. This one's posted by pee pee stains in the front. New Patreon YouTube tease includes diddler correcting barn door. What does correcting mean? Like correcting. Oh, I'm an idiot. They're there.

That's Shakespeare, dude. Yeah. Let's see. Do you remember there was a horror magazine? Because I was so into horror. You mean... What? It starts so aggressive.

Dude, he is Biden. He's a faster Biden. You know, like Biden, it takes him a long time to mess things up. Brennan just says things messed up fast. Yeah. There's a horror magazine? What? What are you talking about?

You don't need context for his gabs, dude. No. Let's see here. Do you remember there was a horror magazine? Because I was so into horror. Horror? You mean Playboy and Hustler? Fuck yeah. There was a horror magazine. It had like Freddy on the front. Horror. Horror. Say horror.

Horror. I went over my head. I didn't even know he was trying to say horror. Awesome. Wow. Man. I didn't even know he was trying to say horror. Awesome. Wow, man. Yeah. And that's that one's in reference to another clip that we have coming up. The leg slap.

Dude, redacted, man. Horror. Horror. Alrighty. Well, let's go to the next one, dude. We're breezing through these clips. one's posted by grace and gregory it's called not the best brains but here's barn door c wording callan cucking right yeah uh callan about being vaxxed while it's opening it's his opening joke on gringo poppy uh let's see this uh narrative you get a booster booster boy you

got the first one? No. Yeah, he did. No, I did not. What is this like a point of contention? No, no, no.

Oh, really dude. Facts. So hey, booster boy over here. Dicey, dicey. Okay,

gotcha. No, I never got vaccinated. Cool. Cool. Good. Yeah. Well,

you're still here. It's the first time I said that. Are we going to say that? I don't think you are. Why can't he say it? This whole vaccination stuff, I'm not anti-vaxxer, man. I'm vaccinated.

There's always one guy. No fucking way, bro! They're interviewing the guy with the tattoos as Mr. Whole Foods. No, he's the guy from the Ben Shapiro raps. I remember that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait until you see who Mr. Whole Foods is, dude. Oh, Foods. Yeah. No, he's the guy from the Ben Shapiro raps. I remember. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait until you see who Mr. Whole Foods is, dude.

Oh, shit. Yeah. Fuck yeah. He's not touching this fucking temple, daddy. As he says, he's taking a nacho, dipping it in nacho cheese. So, the answer is easy. It is an M. Night Shyamalan twist, but who is Mr. Whole Foods? Chob?

Chob. Damn. This whole vaccination stuff, I'm not anti-vax, man. I'm vaccinated, but... You got to dip your nacho in your nacho cheese, dude. Do you think you eat like that with your tongue out first? I don't really know. I don't think so.

I'm scared of gadouching you because there'll be videos of me probably eating like that. It'd be so funny. They show us eating and we're exactly the same. Just ran into Timo's Heracto at the fucking Taco Stall. And it's just me just like, I'm not, I mean, I'm not anti-vax. I'm vaccinated, but I wasn't. Just nonsense, dude. I don't want vaccinations.

Alright, so this one's Minimum Sky 2305. It's a residency. So I think it's residency. But residency, let's see here. Studio here is wet. Whenever it rains, it's residency. Yeah. But residency. Let's see here. Studio here is wet. Whenever it rains, it gets wet. The studio gets wet. It's a problem.

We complain. They don't care. I'm glad to have you guys. Thanks for tuning in. We're just building up to the big UFC 290. Was it 7? 98. 98 to 98.

And watch the Super Bowl. Downward Spending Partner of the Super Bowl 58 with the coach. Why does he say ball, dude? I know. How many times are you going to say it? It doesn't make sense at this point. Somebody has probably corrected him, right? Yeah.

Friends have told him, you say Super Bowl, but it's bowl. Yeah. And he's like, nah, I'm just going to do it. I wonder if he still does that with Raleigh too. Yeah. He's like, nah, I do it the way I do it. Or like Rose Bowl. Can he not do it?

Rose Bowl. Kind of gay. Let's see. Show, the crown is yours. But, uh. May 18, May 18. Yeah, this is interesting because they had a. Or whatever.

Yeah. Yeah. The main event was interesting. It was. I heard your boy Joe Rogan. Since he says ball for bowl, he says ball for bowl. Yes.

Does that mean for all the other ones like that? Like for coal, like if he's talking about coal and energy, he goes coal, you call or like mole. If there's like a mole on, he goes to the doctor. He's like,

I got a mall here the doctor's like what what are we doing here what do you have a mall yeah you know a mall and the doctor's like oh mole yeah and shab's like yeah yeah that's what i fucking said saying that and the doctor's like let's do a brain thing yeah let's do an mri let's do a CT scan. A CT scan. The mole I see. It's not a mole. It's a pimple, but let's get you in the machine. It's a pimple. A pimple. It's a pimple.

Oh, fuck, dude. Shit. Let's see here. Always saying like he likes it better because you can hear, you know, everything. It's just more like, you know. But he never fought. I'm saying as a fan. Like with this lawsuit coming up,

I think it's right after insurance, company affiliates, price and coverage match limited by state law. It's like an accent too almost. Yeah. That does seem like a good route. Do you know? And for the UFC with the lawsuit,

if they go, nah, we're doing a residency in Austin. It's funny to single out residency after all that shit. It's like, that is a very funny one, but there's so many in there. Oh, my God. God damn, dude. Yeah. Also, I mean, he does have stuff in his mouth, the nicotine. Take it out if that's what's causing it.

But then you got to sacrifice the good podcasting, B. true it does help your brain yeah right makes your brain better a couple of white belts looking at a black belt talking that's true what am i doing what am i doing here let's see me and brian count if you haven't heard we're doing a live renci it's one one night a month okay one night big residency there yeah one night a month, solid residency. Yeah. Isn't residency like when you live there? I think it's usually like people talk about it in Vegas a lot. You're there for like a few weeks a year. Well, you can't see him anywhere else because you live at that place. You do like a show like a few weeks out of the year somewhere

or like a few, I don't know. I'm right. You're wrong. Everyone's wrong. You might be right. I'm not successful enough to even know what residency is b i'm not like this guy yeah he's a murderer yeah dude uh residency ever heard of it you know where i have a residency fourth wall yeah same you can always see me at the fourth wall yeah uh this one's posted by super smash bruh for

oh it says 14 hours ago absolutely moved by the genuine and definitely not paid for top comment by the completely real human being at art official intelligence read what the comment says dude i lost my dad last night thank you guys for what you do because it's helping me tonight art official intelligence dude look at like yeah look at who he's helping. He's helping him. 35, dude. Fire engine emoji. Just think about it. Always got to include the fake comments on the post here, dude.

This one's posted by Pharrell80s. It's called, for anyone who gives a fug, he mentions the Shane SNL gig at the very end of the pod. In deep, what else you got chin territory? Also brings up the new crop of NY murderlers.

Oh, cool. Let's see here. This is so dope. Shane Gillis is going to be hosting SNL. If you guys remember, he had the shortest SNL contract. Fired one day, fired the next. Because of a little joke. Here's what's crazy

is how full circle Shane Gillis is so much bigger inside of my life huge they need him when before they fired him now he's bigger than they are and I will

his shows get more views his skits yeah yep yeah Shane's crushing it man yes he is there's like a new crop out there in New York right

it's like the Tim Dillons Chrissy D's Tim is out here but Chris D's Schultz those guys Tim started in New York right what's that Tim started in New York with right? It's like the Tim Dillons, Chrissy Dees, Schultz. Tim is out here, but Chris Dees, Schultz, those guys. Tim started in New York, right? What's that? Tim started in New York with you guys. So you got Tim, Schultz, DeStefano. Mark Norman

is killing fucking Sam Morillis. Hilarious. Mateo Lane is fucking... Mateo's great. Mateo's a monster. And he sells out theaters. Yeah, dude. Yeah. Fucking the table is growing and LA is scared, dude. Yeah. Fucking, the table is growing and LA is scared, dude.

Yeah. The table is getting funnier and funnier. Yeah, the red side's getting funny. I think that Gillis is like the way that he did it,

getting fired and then becoming bigger, he wouldn't have been able to do that if like some people that came before him like Schaub, when he told Showtime

like, listen, blow the bell is over. Yeah. And he bet on himself. I think that's kind of what Gillis saw that and try to replicate. I'll take it one step further. Gillis owes shop his whole career. Well said.

I mean, that's just, that's just straight, straight talk, wireless and facts. Pull it up, Jen. All right. So this,

yeah, I should just been like, facts. I'm pretty sure Brendan Schaub discovered Shane Gillis, right? I think so. Yeah. Yeah. And Jelly Roll. Yeah.

Yeah. Even without having met them. Yeah. Toe trick, my brother. This one's posted by Successful Capital 217. It's called, Fucks up the name of the company he's promoting not once, but twice. Then at the end

when chin makes him do another ad he gets all annoyed because he has to do the hard thing called reading slash talking again back to back cool chin let's see here if you are already an oro o rewards member and not receiving your rewards just add an email address or mobile phone number you get ten dollars reward for updating your existing account. If you're not an O Rewards member yet, signing up is super easy and quick online at OReillyAuto.com or in-store at OReilly Auto Parts.

O-O-O-Reilly. Progressive. Back-to-back. Cool, Chen. This outside the shop. Why do they keep this in? Take this out. This is another one.

This is live. Oh, okay. Yeah. All right. Well, that makes sense. I don't know. Prep them for it or something. Get them coach.

Like, hey, we're going to do O'Reilly auto parts, and then we're going to do progressive. So you say O'Reilly or O-member, and then practice it or something before. Are you finished? Yeah, are you done? Yeah. No, dude, he for sure told Shob that,

but Shob is just like not, he doesn't give a fuck, dude. You think Shob cares? They're paying for this? Yeah. I don't get it. I don't understand, but I do understand they want to be associated with the best

podcaster, comedian, UFC fighter of all time, right? I'm wondering, like, the people at Progressive, they look at this studio, this. They see 13 cans of rain on the thing, and they're like, I want my company red over that.

Put the... Put us right next to the happy hippo Kratom because that's a good thing to have while you're driving. Yeah. Rain, Kratom, Wixky, nicotine. O'Reilly Auto Parts and Progressive, both car things. They want to be associated with all that. Energy drinks, drinking, Kratom, and nicotine. These are recipes for

disaster when you're driving all stuff you shouldn't do when driving. Yeah. I mean, I guess maybe rain, you'll help you stay focused or something. I don't know. It's just an interesting choice by them in my opinion. Yeah, dude, I've never driven on 300 milligrams of natural caffeine, dude, but I'm down to try it. Uh, this one, I don't know if we ever missed this dude, but this made me laugh pretty hard today. It's called Tom Bout a Perfect Storm Bubba. Nah, B, it was like the perfect world wind. Posted by Guide Guitars.

Let's see here. That information come at me at the same time that the Trash Tuesday and all this stuff coming, it was like this perfect world wind. But if I would have talked to you before and you gave me the context i went that makes so much sense yeah man we've all been there dude we've all had stuff come at whirlwinds come at us man yeah you got your uh your lab your lab top you know and you're just you're thinking you're safe, but you're not because all of a sudden a tornado warning or a fucking earthquake.

Cyclone. A cyclone. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fucking, what's another? Fucking a flawed. I mean, you wouldn't even say flawed.

I can't even do that one. Yeah, we've all been there, dude. At one moment, you're just trying to get your dig zugged walking a girl to your truck next moment they start a podcast talking about it and you gotta be like whoa this is a whirlwind of stuff i don't need it's woke bullshit you should be able to walk chicks your truck uh whenever you want it yeah and they wouldn't talk about it they wouldn't they just to discuss the podcast people want to talk about the woke me in the wall what about the walk me in the truck b boom boom uh this one's posted by haphazard it's called watch out for that slippery slope let's see here classic so just take just take but that's not

always good it's not it's not a's eyes the real danger and dude even shit as stupid as like the self-driving cars. It's like people are like, oh, it's so convenient. And it's like, yeah, well, wait till you get in that motherfucker one day and it takes you to the courthouse for something you didn't even know you did. Correct. Or they decide you didn't. Correct. Correct.

Takes you to the courthouse. They're saying that they, I don't know, they make the car that drives itself just takes you to a place you don't want to go. So you get arrested or they need arrested. They just take over your car and it drives you to court. That would be something someone with an entire face tattoo would be worried about, right? Jelly Roll's cousin. Jelly Roll's cousin. This is Ham Sandwich or whatever his name is.

These guys arm around some weird pillow. This is my cousin named Mike Stand. Three of the smartest guys ever in a room together right now my brother camera tripod let's see here that car can take and you can't drive to get to the hospital exactly or you can't take your fucking money out of your account with the with the or your or your money or your money expires or they have an expert but it's also another way to control you. Like electric cars is not the vibe for a million fucking reasons. Dude, I think rare instance of everyone hitting a

C-clamp there for a second. Oh, shit. C-clamp, C-clamp. And then Shab was like, oh, we're doing C-clamps, dude? You know what I mean? These guys really hate electric cars. Shab is always talking about how like if you pull up in a Tesla, women are like, no, not this guy. Yeah. They want a TRX. Mm-hmm.

A Raptor. They want you to flip it. All right, let's see here. Another way, you don't want to drive anymore. You don't have any control. They want to set the speed limit. You just want to get in and not drive. Yeah, you see that shit.

Could you be a bigger bitch? You can't drive to work. I drive a Tesla, and he can't call me a harder cuck. He's like, you're not allowed in my truck though because you're a cuck and my truck won't start. My truck won't start because you're a cop. And you're probably vaxxed to the max. Because it's that culture that describes it. Electrics, whatever.

But the culture surrounding it, it's the same culture that wants to get facts. Alpha males are the enemy. Let's not get scared away. It is. Electric cars are pretty awesome. They're not, though, in any facet. What do you mean? How are they awesome?

They're fat facts. He's painting a narrative here. The electric car guys are that. I don't know if that's true. I don't think it is. Electric cars are like Elon, right? He's kind of like he is Elon anti that whole like alpha male thing. Like, I don't think so. I'm friends with Joe.

I think what he's more commenting on is when you buy an electric car, they before you sign off everything, they tell you we have to invite you into this other room and we're going to fuck your wife oh they cuck you I didn't know that I wonder if you have an electric car you're no longer allowed to drink magic mind oh no well you got to read the contract

if you are buying an electric car just make sure you can still do all the same things that you could do before you might be driving your electric car to work you know um you got your fucking alpha brain in your car but then all of a sudden and then the car drives you right to the police station yeah and they arrest you what is this guy in here for oh he has an electric car yeah and he's drinking alpha brain yeah he's trying to be fucking smarter than everyone else in 30 years shadow ban yeah we had to shadow ban him yeah your shadow but you don't get any prison time but no And he's drinking AlphaBrain. Yeah, he's trying to be fucking smarter than everyone else. 30 years. Shadow ban.

Yeah, we had to shadow ban him. Yeah, you're shadow ban. You don't get any prison time, but no, you don't get any more views. Dude, I'm so happy you're talking about this. Nobody talks about how when you get an electric car, Instagram shadow bans you, dude. Yeah. It's going to happen. It's big tech.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Well, it's the opposite, actually. Tech helps you out when you have an electric car. Yeah. When you don't have an electric car, Instagram does shadow ban you. Yeah. Well, it's opposite actually. Tech helps you out when you have an electric car. When you don't have an electric car, Instagram does shadow ban you because it's like,

well, we can't show... That way people will know how cool the trucks are. And we want them to drive electric because it's all about control at the end of the day. Control. With a C. Yeah, control. Three C's actually. Your car's not fast. My car's not fast. Sir, by shit i got your car's not fast my car's not fast sir

by all measurements your car's not my car jumps off the line no it doesn't they don't though there's there's gas power cars that do no if your argument is that it's fast then you would drive a fast car before this i mean i don't care yeah that's what i'm saying you don't care you're doing it because it's easy yeah but people don't realize like we're on our cell phone so we're living as living as simulation so you're always on our cell phone so we're living in simulation so you're always on your cell phone. We need more of this shop, dude.

Yeah, dude. Philosophize, dude. I really want to see I would watch this show every day if he just talks about simulation theory. This shop, you're right. And when he's talking

about these big concepts in his mind that's how you get the hey photographer is your blog bust a moment. Exactly. He pontificates about things and then you get that hey photographer is your blog bus a moment. Exactly. He pontificates about things and then you get that one quotable

thing that just blows your fucking mind. It's so funny. He talks about the facts brings up Mr. Whole Foods. Yes. Exactly. That's how that was born. Yep. Yeah. So this is good. Let's see. This is growth. So you're living in that world. You get in your car. You plug in the address. It drives you there. It's just making Americans softer

and softer. Or just because it's convenient, but you pay a price for it. Like, it's just, there is something about that. Free will. Yeah. Well, no. Yeah, the price you pay is free. And it's like, everything, they look exactly the same. It's white or black.

The interior is basic as fuck. There's a screen on there. I charge it. I let guys, I let a bunch of guys have sex with my wife. I'm, you know, I'm i'm you know it's cuck lies is that what you're saying yes is that cuck life and then who owns all that don't give me then who owns all the charging stations china so we're more reliant on china here's what i'm fucking idiots figure it out here's what i worry about take it easy so yeah i mean he's right tough

times make hard men and then electric cars make cucks. Yep. Yeah, or ducks. You can't put it in any plainer than that. And if you need it more plainer than that, then you could just stop watching Chopin. Yeah, if you don't understand that, dude, just fucking, you're on your YouTube right now.

You're about to write like a comment with your Cheeto fingers. Turn your computer off. Yeah. Watch something else. Delete the app. Watch Ellen. Yeah. Yeah, have fun watching Oprah Delete the app. Watch Ellen. Yeah. Yeah.

Have fun watching Oprah. Thinking shows that aren't on anymore. That's what a shop would do. You'd be like, you know what? You could just freaking watch Saved by the Bell. Yeah.

Go have fun with Full House, dude. He has no idea what's on TV. Yeah. Have fun seeing a Richard Jenny show live. All right. So this one's posted by- Watch Law and Order Criminal Victims Unit. have fun seeing a Richard Jenny show live. Uh, all right. So this one's posted by law and order criminal victims unit. This one's posted by panic university.

It's, it's called imagine being 40 and taking part in a middle school Twitter trend. This did make me laugh. So I didn't want to include it. Uh, it's Jesse on fire. You know who he is,

right? Of course. He's the guy that like dig rides shop hard. Yeah. Best range for the hours. Always right. Never wrong. almost as hard as we do uh it says can we all collectively report the fighter and the kids subreddit so those virgins can go away for good that group has probably never touched a woman in their lives i like the low yeah yeah good good so you're telling me hap doesn't fuck dude oh ha Oh, Hap fucks. Hap is probably fucking right now.

Yeah. One time I did ask him how many chicks he fucked, and he was like, dude, I don't even, how much time you got? Mm-hmm. You know? Yeah. Same with President A Banana. Dude, Pee-Pee is the stage in the front, dude?

You can't even get in touch with him. Yeah, no. His house is like a harem. Yeah. He's a murderer of pussy. I'd call him I'm like hey can I talk to Peepy Stains in the front

and they're like well you can't talk to his dick but you probably talk to the topper part of him because his dick's busy his dick is always busy it's always different yeah

I'm like no well I just wanted to make sure Jesse on fire was wrong about him being oh he's not a virgin Peepy Stains it's just like the most

hack insult ever yeah oh you're you know it's a Schaub thing you know yeah oh you're you know you know he it's a shop thing yeah you know shop says real quick how many chicks you fuck yeah this is that but less intelligent less clever uh well it's not over yet b let's see the next slide here dude because remember keep in mind the title is about a twitter trend a middle school wait what was it again imagine being 40 and what and taking part in a middle school twitter train oh what was it again? Imagine being 40 and what? And taking part in a middle school Twitter trend. Oh yeah.

So here we go. This is the Twitter trend here. Jesse on fire, kissed girls, dated seven girlfriends, including gab, drank often in college, had sex estimated between three and a thousand.

That's not a good estimation. No, no. How would you, that's way different numbers. Yeah. Yeah. How would you, that's way different numbers. Yeah. Yeah. How could you know,

how could they be, how could those be your two guesses? Well, you know how they say guys exaggerate how much they have sex by like three and then girls under sell how much they have sex by like three, whatever. So he's saying he's had sex once basically. Oh yeah.

The, uh, what you want to call it? The American pie rule rule three times three yeah a thousand yeah skip class who cares okay so he definitely skipped class yeah uh drugs yes sent nudes that never blows up in anyone's face what do you mean he's saying like yeah that like it's bad to send nudes so he didn't do it so he has yeah yeah uh got a tattoo do my entire arms count as two or like 40 this guy is not a numbers guy he is bad at math yeah

this is something you literally could count it's on you don't have to remember you can just look okay one two three four yeah yeah uh get a piercing dick joke maybe so everything else was not a joke and that last one was, maybe. Not even for sure. Yeah, it's hard to tell. I mean, this is just, these are things you wouldn't want to admit. This is a pretty cringe.

Yeah. Yeah. I would like to fill this out though. Psych. Yeah, no, I wouldn't do really. Whoa, that was a jump scare right there, dude. Jesus Christ. This is who we're up against.

Yeah, dude. I'm afraid. Only a thousand B. I thought that was fun. scare right there, dude. Jesus Christ. This is who we're up against. Yeah, dude. I'm afraid. Only 1,000 B. I thought that was fun. Was that fun? Yeah. We'll cut that part out. So this one's posted by Toronto Rapture.

It's called, Callan goes on a five-minute rant about how bad Ozempic is while Bapa squirms in his cheer. But let's keep in mind, those chairs are beautiful, dude. Yeah. And what they're fighting with Ozempic is it causes stomach paralysis here's the other fucked up thing about ozempic 95 of the serotonin that you make yeah he's mad it's literally in his body right now his calum's like

and it causes your pancreas to fall out of your ass. So I was like, what's an ass? He's like, who puts a pancreas in their ass? Your head is made in the gut. And because it fucks with your gut and causes different kinds of issues in your gut, because it has to, it has to stop your bleeding. It's causing major suicidal ideation. With your skin. Yeah. And as these drugs go up. Right. Yeah. But you from eating. It's causing major suicidal ideation. But they're skinny. Yeah.

And as these drugs go up, right. But you're skinny. But you're skinny. So it works. Better to be, better to leave. Sad and skinny. I'd rather be sad and skinny than sad and fat. Dead and skinny than dead and fat.

Yes. Yeah. That's what's going on. Take your poison. Schaub is an advocate for these people that are taking a drug that they need. So that's good. Yeah. Shab is the voice of reason here.

You could either listen to Brendan Shab, one of the most unintentional funny people of all time, or Callan, a psychopathic, narcissist, dangerous human being, or a guy that has a tattoo all over his face. And made a song with Ben Shapiro. Made a song with Ben Shapiro. So pick your poison. Yeah, dude. Pretty obvious choice here, I think. This is a real with Ben Shapiro. So, pick your poison. Yeah, dude.

Pretty obvious choice here, I think. This is a real fucked up game of Full Monty or something like that. Yeah. You got to pick one of the cups,

but you don't want any of them. Russian Rowlet. Yeah. Yeah. That's a game. If Shad played that game, he'd be like,

Russian Rowlet? You guys are crazy. I played there last year. Rowley, California. That's how George is going. George played Russian Rowlet too many times. Yeah, dude. Good douche. Good douche. All right, let. That's how George is called. George played Russian roulette too many times. Yeah, dude.

Good douche. Good douche. All right, let's go to the next one here, dude. Okay, this one's long, so I might cut it out of the episode. If I did, it just wasn't worth it. Sure. It's called the Two Train Killers Crash CJ Stroud Interview, posted by hashtag hypebeast.

You mean to tell me hashtag hypebeast has that sex? Come on, B. Let's see here. Dan, we love you, Dan. Dan Orlovsky doesn't get a lot of that. Andy Reid? Fake Andy Reid there. None of it.

Oh, yeah, that guy's a fake. Let me get a blank card. Top dollars here. Can we come on the set? Yeah, we are. That's not a hot guy. Fake Andy. That's kind of a good douche, man.

He's not that fat. What a time to be alive, dude. That's what I'm thinking. Yeah, dude. The Pat McAfee show and two bears, one cup. We got Tommy Bones with us. Hey, Tom. Hey, Tom.

Tommy. Hey, Tommy. Tommy. CJ. Do you know these guys? I know CJ. He said no. CJ doesn't know.

He has no idea. Oh my God. He doesn't know two of the 1,000? I'm going to go to the CJ Stroud interview and I'm going to ask him if he knows me. He's probably going to say no. Pat's kind of gadooshing them just asking that. Why would you say that, Brendan? I wonder if Shaw's watching this, he'd be like, he'd know who I am.

I kind of want Joey Diaz to be one of the mergelers. That'd be great. Yeah, I mean, just throw them all in there, dude. Everyone should be on Pat McAfee's show. Have you ever told your coach to suck your dick? Cedar Shaw's like, what? Who are you? We'll see. These are two funny whites. Two funny

whites, CJ. Two funny whites, Tom. Two funny whites, Tom. Hey, man, thank you for stopping by. I heard you were sleeping this morning. Yeah, I got you a recovery drink. Oh, wow. They said if two brothers would have walked in, they would have called the police. CJ, are you drinking?

Are you drinking, CJ? No, sir, I don't drink. No. Nope. He's got an offensive rookie of the year to win, dude. Just won it. Okay, Bert, sorry about it. How are you guys doing?

Let's go. You're still doing it? I'm hammered. Still doing it. I'm going to give it to Tom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't, don't. Watch out, man.

It's C4 time. Y'all tripping. Yeah, man. Get sober. Best brains, B. Hell yeah, dude. People always say I'm a lot like cj stroud right yeah yeah the constant comparisons yeah yeah i'm like why because i'm sober like no because you could

throw a fucking pigskin further than anyone i know oh yeah yeah damn what's your 40 time 40 is like sub three how about your vertical dude my vertical is above 50 and um what about like lifting can you do like the same kind of reps? Like, you know, Shab does a certain amount or whatever. Oh, I'm roughly 260 on a light day. Boom. About 10 sets of four reps. Yeah, man. I mean, that's good.

That's what sobriety gets you. I mean, I owe a lot of that to Kibbetech, honestly. Let's see here. What does this taste like? It's really good, actually. This is really good. Waterfall. How's this?

Great mix. That's delicious. Try it. What is it? It's our good, actually. This is really good. Waterfall. How's this? Great mix. That's delicious. Try it. What is it? It's our recovery drink. So what's in it? There's the... Piss.

We take migrants' blood and bone marrow at the border. There you go. Jeez. What else? What else? I should have had the money. Imagine being C.J. Stroud and being involved in this redactedness deal. I wouldn't...

Yeah, that would make me nervous as an NFL guy. Like a young quarterback, I'd be like, he just said something about migrants' blood. Am I going to get in trouble for this? Yeah. I might have to. And then instead he's just like, water. C4.

He's literally holding up water. Isn't C4 water? Is it? I don't know. I'm guessing. I thought it was pre-workout. Let's see. I'll keep playing.

I'm going to look it up out of curiosity. All right. You're definitely not going to pay attention to the clip. Let's see here. No, not at all. Oh, it's a... This is what I'm talking about when I talk about the table, B. This is the table.

Modern day, sitting around the table talking shit. You know what I mean? That's so, there's so many guys there. I didn't see them. And the other thing, this is kind of like a Schultz set up a little bit. Yeah.

Just a bunch of guys like, Oh yeah. And then, and then if we run out of stuff, we got seven other dudes to chime in. They're all in either, which I'm gonna call it track suits or jeans and shirts. Yeah, so nine dudes on a set. Kind of gay.

Right? I thought it was just two beers. Yeah, dude. Let's see. No! Everyone drinks it. He poured it here. I'm not drinking it. There we go. Oh, boy. Thank you guys for stopping by.

I don't drink. I'm not joking. There we go. Oh, boy. Thank you guys for stopping my bike. You're welcome. Stop. Thank you. Nice, nice. Good vodka. I don't drink. I don't drink. That's a lie. Boom.

There it is. You're doing that, Bert. Really nice of you. He just doesn't want to put his. He drinks. I want one of those hoodies. C4 only. CJ.

CJ. C4. C4. That's smooth as hell. I'm going to throw up. Isn't it weird how high-level athletes don't lose? Yeah, it's crazy. It's crazy, right? Especially Thursday at 11 a.m.

You know, Thursday, 11 a.m. Hey, Bird, here's to you, bub. Brother. Brother. Y'all get a free promo. Excuse me. I'm in the way. Hold that C4 up.

Y'all get free promos. Sorry, sorry. Jesus Christ, dude. Man. That is wild. Yeah. This show is off the rails. This is unnecessary. i do feel i feel

terrible for cjs drought dude it's just like get i don't want to be here when this happens dude it's funny the idea you're doing like this nfl show you're an athlete and then just two comedians come on they look like they're both fucked up they're like old and all drunk and stuff and they're like hey man you're like wow this is what being in the NFL I thought we were going to talk about the odds of the Super Bowl yeah whatever drink it I'm sober

yeah you're a bitch you don't fucking drink it come on Orso we buy our vodka what's that that guy from Pittsburgh is on there. Forget his name, the linebacker or whatever. He's like retired. You're like, what the fuck?

I feel bad, dude. Dude, CJ Stroud is more than welcome to come on T-Mose, dude, and be like, what the fuck with those two drunk white guys doing on my set? I'll be the guy doing that to him on our show. Yeah. Tiger thick ever heard of it? I really do. That's it. I'll be the guy doing that to him on our show. Tiger thick ever heard of it?

I really do. We'll see. Hey, here's to you boys. Cheers. Two bears. Let's see. You'll be good. Is there alcohol in there?

Take it down. Definitely alcohol in the bottle. Take it down, Pat McAfee. Come on. What is it? You're ready to go. Yeah, I am. Hell yeah. I wasn't't before but now I am

Now you are Thank you I can find this in Texas California And Florida He's a pro Yeah He's the man Porosus

Porosus Porosus How many pushups do you think I can do right now? I got a good three and a half Three and a half He's doubting you Oh my god Wow Boom Alright What's up, CJ? What are you doing right now? I got a good three and a half. Three and a half? He's doubting you. Oh, my God. Wow.

Boom. All right. CJ Stroud, oh, my God. He's like, are these the kind of people that watch football? I quit, dude. He thinks they're fans. He still doesn't know who they are. Yeah.

He's like, these two crazy fans came on set. Hey, Tom and Bert, nobody knows who you are. Let's see. Okay. Hold on, Bert, what is an accurate over-under? What is a proper... Oh, Houston guy. Thank you for using that. I can't remember. 24 and a half.

What's a proper expectation? 40? They gotta be full. Okay, so we'll do... Wait, wait, but AJ's calling. He's gonna give you range notes. What is going on? What, CJ? We got a strong hamster about to do push-ups. That's not good, dude.

Stroud's killing it. He might be a murderer, dude. We have a strong hamster about to do push-ups? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's... Yeah, maybe... I mean, this is a shop type deal. Beast of a comic, dude.

Yeah, dude, get out there, man. Maybe West Covina, start a West Covina Laugh Factory. Yeah. AJ, listen, none of us know what's going on. Sorry. Including me. And I walked in with him. You said 40?

Yeah. All right. All right, you count it. AJ, come on. Yeah, lock out. Yeah, go on. Yep. I think he looks like a sea captain.

You know, like a guy, a sea captain on a boat. That's not, I'm pretty sure. Oh, yeah.out. Yeah, you got lockout. I think he looks like a sea captain. Like a guy, a sea captain on a boat. That's a crasher. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm doing push-ups in the morning. Like a pirate. Oh, sea captain's drunk again. Yeah, sea captain's drink.

We'll see. He's been in sea too long. What? He's been in sea too long. Yeah, yeah. Where's he at right now? 15. 16. Where you at, Bert? He's been at C2 long. Yeah. Yeah. Where's he at right now? 15. 16.

Where you at, Bert? What number you at? Don't make him count. All the way up. Somebody else count. No, we missed it already. I know. So if we start counting.

At least 20. Come on. There's 30 right there. How many? 30. 30. All the way up. Nine.

That's 40. Sure. Come on. Let's get to 50. That's 40! Sure. Let's get to 50. He's been going since early. CJ, this is your fault. I'm really going to argue with his wife. He's at 3 a.m. I have to argue with his wife.

He lost 50 grand, he said. Hey, way to go! Who's the guy that's like the crazy wide receiver? Antonio Brown? Oh, he was a running back, right? No, I'm wrong. Yeah, he's like a wide receiver. This is the inside of his head at all times.

Yeah. There's people doing push-ups, drinking vodka, like there's crazy shit going on. Yeah. This is what it's in his head, I think. I hope this doesn't turn C.J. Stroud into Antonio Brown, dude. This is going to give him CT. Yeah.

Yeah, this is more CT than getting hit. Yeah, this is a micro- concussion happening in Roseheim. We're proud of you, Bert. We're proud of you, Bert. Hey, we appreciate you boys. Keep going. Tom, thanks, man. Thank you very much.

Thank you, Tom. Sorry for ruining your time. No, Tom, thank you, Tom. CJ, great to meet you. C4 for life. Good work, Bert. That's awesome. Love you too, Bert. meet you. C4 for life. Good work, Bert. That's awesome. Love you too, Bert.

Thank you. No apologies needed. No apologies needed. Looking good, Tom. Great shoes. Yeah, I'll take it. Thank you. Myrtleers, dude.

Yeah, dude. They came in there and changed the whole show. We'll see you then. Good to see you, Tom. Great shoes, Tom. You know, the one thing that they didn't do which every murderler always does dude what is that um address how many ladies are in the crowd tonight first of all eight inches but um they didn't end on a laugh b oh shit you're right they fucked up yep let's see well let's see if there's still a chance Yeah DJ has your two drunk whites

In the wild And We did not know That was happening You want to give him Two and a half Three and a half pushups Yeah

He proved you wrong No he didn't do any He didn't do any No you're not You said it You know how the combine When they make you Press out

Yeah That don't count Alright so what do you got Going on with C4 Now that we got the real That don't count That don't matter He's saying You're right It doesn't matter It doesn't count alright so what do you got going on with C4 now that we got the real that don't count that don't matter he's saying you're right it doesn't matter it doesn't count

get that alcohol out of here that's right C4 here the real stuff the stuff that's going to have you really bouncing off the wall so he knows how to plug too yeah it's all about the plug at the end of the day yeah that's what really all these shows are is just like out plugug each other, dude. Yeah.

And we do the same shit. We got fucking... Trash Tuesday, World Record Pod, Tiger Belly, our podcast. Our podcast, yeah. That's all.

Crazy. Trugs. Trugs behind Bobby Lee. We're always trying to get people to get into trugs. Yeah. Yeah. And also, like, you know,

give us more stickers. We're deep. We're balls deep in stickers right now. Yeah, AOS stickers. Maybe we need a P.O. box. Oh. Ever heard of, you know, give us more sticker. We're deep. We're balls deep in stickers right now. Stickers. Maybe we need a PO box. Oh, true, true.

Well, we need more Patriots subscribers to afford that dude. True, true. But yeah, let's see what else we got here. That was a long fucking clip. We're literally four hours into this podcast.

We're almost in Australia. I know. And it's only been 10 minutes. That's the craziest part. I know. This one's posted by Pharrell 80s. It's called gets so So Soy When The Real When The Real Comedy Mothership

Is Mentioned Looks Like He's About To Cry Do what you're doing I will and it's always nice to see that there Are curtains that can still be pulled across the back Rows of theaters and comedy clubs Thank God for curtains That's what I should have invested in The Richfield Playhouse

Newton Theater Newton New Jersey Mystic Theater thank God for curtains yeah that's what I should have invested in the Richfield Playhouse Richfield you should go to tour that the Newton Theater you're at the Newton Theater Newton, New Jersey Mystic Theater you're doing theaters yes

real theater Golden State Theater Comedy Mothership I love it yeah bunch of stuff out here I got Austin Houston, Dallas

and we just added some stuff so yeah I'm happy the tour is good I just hope people come out and see it it's a new hour of material what are the thoughts in his head dude probably just thinking about like you know some stuff. So yeah, I'm happy the tour is good. I just hope people come out and see it. It's a new hour of material. What are the thoughts in his head, dude?

Probably just thinking about the games he's got to do and now he doesn't really want to do stand-up in those places anymore. Well, you got to do shop voice, dude. So tell us the thoughts in his head. Oh, man. So he's doing the mothership. This is accurate so far.

And then he's like, just Manamanami in his mind. Yeah, dude. Chav is probably just thinking about like the latest shoe he bought. His favorite shoe. Did I put my favorite shoe up on this thing? Because right now it's a Nike, but I have another Nike in there. He doesn't even put the shoe up there anymore,

but he still thinks that there's a shoe up there. Should I ever replace the rain bottles on the thing? Because sometimes there's different colors of rain and then there's a bunch of Magic Mine. I wonder if anyone drank magic mine.

Am I going to watch the Super Bowl with my mess again? All right. This one's called Will the Soft Younger Generation Ever Understand How to Do a Blue Collar Man's Man Like This? It's supposed to be I don't know who to axe. Well, that's easy. B, just axe J. Let's see.

Look what Brennan's shop is wearing. Look what he's wearing. Are you the devil? Best brains, B. Easy B, just XJ. Let's see. Look what Brennan's shop is wearing. Look what he's wearing. Look. Are you the devil? Are you the devil? Best brains, B. Luck be a lady tonight is a fire song to be singing. Are you posing for the jacks, for the jack of all trades?

Dude, that's an amazing, that's very silky. Oh, my God. And then my heart, and then my heart with pleasure fills, hold on, and dances with daffodils. I mean, unreal. Look at the booty boots, huh? You got to wear your sleeve, you're dressed like an English dandy. Vegas, baby. Oh, yeah!

Honestly, I mean, very funny clip. But I think he's just having a good time. And I'm being dead serious. He looks like a fun guy here. This would be a hilarious thing to be in Vegas with someone like this. He's spending money. He's getting baddies. And at night, they fuck each other.

And at night, we fuck each other. And at night, we fuck each other. Hey, listen. When in Vegas, dude. No, I would absolutely not have sex with Schaub. Obviously, everyone knows we want to meet Schaub, but there's no place I would rather be than Vegas with Schaub. I think it would be a good time. Yeah.

This is hilarious. He's all amped. He's funny. He's singing Frank Sinatra. I love Frank Sinatra. Look at that face, dude. We did a Sinatra song once. Girl from Ipanema. Ever heard of it? Yeah. So, yeah,atra. Look at that face, dude. We did a Sinatra song once. Girl from Ipanema.

Ever heard of it? Yeah. So yeah, this is peak shop, dude. Yeah. Best brains, dude. That's a solid clip. All right. So this is another picture post.

Pharrell 80s. It's objectively funny knowing that this guy thinks Brendan is bad. So he can never ever play his club. I fucked up the title of that, but yeah. So that's the picture it looks like that guy from the cult you know that's like that they drank the cool or not the kool-aid but they all killed themselves jim jones no the other one you know the ball guy where they were gonna go to the moon or something i don't know you've never seen that one they were all

wearing jumpsuits yeah well i'm sure some of you know what I'm talking about he looks like Nosferatu that too he does kind of look like that too coming out of the coffin yeah alright we got another picture post this one's called how did comedy go posted by caterpillarhot7539 let's see this picture here from punches to punchlines

Brendan Chobb is having the last laugh oh really dude oh really dude I think Mr. Whole Foods is having the last laugh. Oh, really, dude? I think Mr. Whole Foods is having the last laugh. Oh, so 2019. So this is not recent. In just three years, Brendan Schaub estimates he has done something like 6,000 hours of comedy. Right. Still while shy of the 10,000 hours required to master. So keep talking. I'm going to do math really quick. Yeah. So, I mean mean this article was predicting huge success for Schaub and now Schaub has quit

doing stand up outside of the state of California so he's only focusing on like the Los Angeles not even just that only Los Angeles area really so you know we all make predictions not all of them come out to be true honestly I don't think this is accurate

I don't want to dude I, I'm not a fact... I'm not even a numbers guy. I swear to God. I might sound like one right now, but trust me, B. Not a chance. Let's look at that math really quick. What does it say? So it says he has done something like 6,000 hours of comedy still. 6,000 hours.

6,000 hours. Boom. For what? Three years divided by three. 2 two thousand hours of comedy in a year right how many weeks in a year come on how many weeks in a year um 12 eight inches eight inches well let's just divide that by 365 yeah and if you want to be like a leap year kind of guy 365.25 i know you're you're just tuning me out right now it's all good I heard numbers so I was like I'm done

.25 that's 5 hours a day he's doing 5 hours of comedy a day yeah we're talking about a day god damn so he's headlining 5 times a day that's impressive 5 hours a day

that's almost like a full shift of work every day. Yeah. That's nuts. Listen, I know you're not a numbers guy, dude. Yeah. So bear with me here. Let's keep the math.

What about, do you factor in the fact that Australia is seven days a week? How many hours is he doing there? You're right. And Korea is two days ahead. Yeah. Okay, so I can- And there's 12 weeks in a year. True.

Okay, so 365.25 uh wrong number so let's do 365.25 yeah times three numbers guys right 12 weeks is four months that's 1095.75 days b right now 1095.75 right stay with me no. Divide it by the horsepower. 7,000 horsepower. Oh. And MSRP. 1,000 horsepower, dude. 750 horsepower MSRP. But once you...

Once you kibbe take it, dude. Oh! 1,000. Yeah. So, and the kibbe take a suspension, so it doesn't really add to the horsepower. Take it to overkill. You overdraft your account.

Overdraft and overkill. That's the next special, dude. Blowers on top of that. Let's just do 6,000 divided by 60. Stick with me. I know it's a lot of numbers right now. Wait, 6,000, right? Time 60 because that's minutes.

So time 60. 360,000 minutes, dude, in three years. So divide that by, what was the other number? 10, 95.75. He's doing 328 minutes of comedy a day. God damn. Including holidays, dude. He really is that boy that worked too much.

Yeah, now I know what Floyd Mayweather's talking about, dude. Yeah. And he still needs 4,000 hours. He's like a monk almost when it comes to stand-up. He really can't. We should take back anyone who said that he's not serious about comedy or was at one point. Imagine going from doing 300 minutes of stand-up a day

to not only doing it whenever you get a show in LA. That's nuts. That's a big change for him taking a step back B interesting imagine doing that much stand up 328 minutes a day

and putting out the gringo poppy yikes maybe too much is too bad too much led to the gringo poppy though yeah

which is amazing yeah so it's it's kind of sad now that he's not doing more I'll cut out all that numbers talk dude nobody wants that yeah you're right yeah I don't want that best friends which is amazing. It's kind of sad now that he's not doing more. I'll cut out all that numbers talk, dude. Nobody wants that.

I don't want that. I'd rather have a fucking Mexican cookie, dude. This one's posted by Haphazard, dude. He wants to travel less so he's doing a monthly live podcast in another state? Or should I say state? Let's see. You're welcome. Chin, are you excited for the live

Fire and the Kid? For Austin? Hell yeah, dude. We're doing a residency in Austin. Me and Brian, if you haven't heard, we're doing a live residency. It's one night a month. One night a month. Let's not get crazy. I don't want to travel as much, so this is what we agreed to. It's one night a month.

It's at 10 o'clock. It's at the Vulcan, the stepmothership. Vulcan Gas Company. That's off 6th Street there in Austin, where there's one night a month. Okay. It's at 10 o'clock. It's at the Vulcan, the step mothership Vulcan gas company. Um, that's off sixth street there in Austin was a ton of homeless. Okay. But you work your way around them. You'll see the venue and we're doing a live fire in the kid podcast, not stand up with me and Brian, you know, main event, co-main event, no, no live podcast, live fire in the kid, fan interaction. Fan questions. We'll have you submit your questions on the Fire in the Kid account. We'll pick our top 10. Then we're doing live questions from the audience.

It's going to be a grand old time. One show to start off. One show only. One night. That's February 15th in Austin, Texas. Brian Callen and me. Live podcast. Fire in the Kid.

Should be a good time. The whole game. I wonder if the Vulcan likes being called the step mothership constantly. They might, they might have some issues with that always to be in comparison. And it's like, job keeps saying, I'm not ready for the mothership,

but he's like, but the Vulcan, I mean, I have a residency there. It doesn't even matter. B. Yeah. Interesting.

I don't know dude the everyone says that the home of comedy is in Austin now yeah who do you think's gonna go to that show the

Shav Vulcan show yeah I don't know Hawks well I wanted to pull this up dude cause me and you

I told you about this earlier before we started recording. This is a big problem with us, right? Yeah. Let's just show the people here. This one's posted by Get Free Tickles or Give Free Tickles. Only 276 seats left to see T-Fat K live at the Stepmother ship.

And that's not funny, Brendan. No, you're right. I apologize for laughing. I'll cut out that laugh too. For shock. The flair is black belt in podcasting. Why are there so many colors?

I don't know. I think it might be range of tickets like money wise. Here, keep talking. They're rain colors. I'm going to look this up and so you have to talk for a little bit. Sure, sure. Go for it. I think that those colors are like the different kinds of flavors of rain and they just some sort

of deal worked out across promotion between rain, the step mothership and shop where he's like, if we don't encourage people

to buy tickets, if they buy a blue, if they buy a ticket in the blue seat, they get a blue flavored rain. But if they buy a red seat, they get a

cherry limeade flavor. And then if they buy a green, they they get a cherry limeade flavor. And then if they buy a green, they get apple flavored rain. So I think that's what's going on. Okay. So here we are. I'm on the stepmothership page. Yeah. For the ticket.

It seems to be almost like they're calling attention to the fact that there's no tickets sold. Yeah. So I, but this is how the ice house does it too though. Okay. Then you know it's right. Let's see here. So this is updated, dude. And there's 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 19, 23.

Oh, I see. The blue seats are like the expensive ones. And then the light blue things are farther away. And I see, I see. They blue seats are like the expensive ones. And then the light blue things are farther away. And I see, I see. They sold roughly 50 tickets so far. Not much of a draw. But you know what? Like, I see what you're saying.

I think, cats, listen, it's $30. Yeah. This is one of the, this is the best show in podcasting. These are two black belts. Yeah, take a week off of buying Diet Starts Monday merch and buy a fucking ticket, dude. Take a week off work. Yeah.

Travel. Travel for that. This is your only chance. He's not traveling anymore. You want to see him do stand-up. Here's your shot. He has residency. And he's not going to keep doing it if only 50 people show up.

Yeah, we have a big problem with this because that shit should be sold out. He doesn't need help from us. But everyone should be showing up. People at their jobs, they usually get at least two weeks of vacation. So I think this is something to use it on. All right. And you're in Austin, B.

You don't think you're going to get murderers to come on stage in Austin? If you don't go to the, I mean, if you go to this, you could probably get some Tiger Thig for free. Yeah. He's always giving out a show. So it's like an added bonus, dude. You get to see hilarious podcasting where they talk about being a cook and the trucks that they drive and all that stuff. And then also on top of that, you get some free Tiger Thick.

Yeah. You better get there. Honestly, I would drive out there to go there, but I'm going to be in Berkeley. And I'm at the stepmothership that day, too. You're not. You're not going anywhere, dude. The stepfathership? I'm at the stepfathership day too. You're not going anywhere, dude. The step fathership?

I'm at the step fathership. Yeah. I should have said that. Yeah. I'm the best brains bee. You're true. All right, let's go. We still got so many clips to go through.

This one's posted by Pharrell80s. That time Bean Dip got all soy with bag flip for talking to Shane instead of listening to Brian and him. Let's see here. You're competing with everything. Yeah, I don't play that shit. Tiger gets his iPad, you know, once a week. Yeah, and you're smart.

And you're smart. It's jarring how much fatter he looks here, dude. Right? Oh, oh, oh, oh, Zambique. The Chief Wahoo hat, too? The Chief Wahoo hat adds 10 pounds. Yeah. Everybody knows that.

Dude. You know, once a week. Yeah, and you're smart. And you're smart. Because that's what we started doing. You know? It's like, no, no, no. Because it's addictive.

It's made to be addictive. It's made to be addictive. Yeah. It's made to get into your brain. Yeah, you're made to be addictive. It's like, it's just like, even though the brain. You're made to be addictive it's like

yeah so he was perturbed so he does that when he's perturbed yeah he was perturbed by them not listening to him talk I mean this is a guy that's at the stepbrothership every other week and you're just not listening to one of the voices of our generation dude

couple of comics at the stepcousinship stepsistership yeah and you're just not listening to one of the voices of our generation, dude. A couple of comics of the step-cousin ship, you know what I mean? Yeah, dude. Step-sister ship. Yeah. Stuck ship. My step-sister got stuck in the washer ship. Step-doctor ship.

Dryer. Step-lawyership. Yeah. I was thinking that too. The step-mothership thing, my brain went right to like the hacky porn thing. Oh, call me a hack. No, no no not you just like when people do it and they'd stay in i know that sounded like that i swear i quit the show uh

all right so this one's this one's supposed to be this one's supposed to be a leg and fiend it's called chins so you know what time it is dude chins fucking cooking corner dude right good good that's three c's bro chins my favorite part of the show. It's slowly becoming my favorite part. Chin's delusional cooking tutorials are the best pieces of content to ever grace this sub. He's cooking Hot Pockets. P.F. Chin's Hot Pockets. All right. Oh, man.

You ready for this? Because there's some long ones, B. All right. But, you know, I'm here for it. I want to watch all of it. Me too. This one's posted by highlight numerous it's called a clip vietnamese breakfast sandwich warning long let's see strap the fuck in dude

holy shit as much carbs as i put in in my body so this is what i do with bread whenever i have a sandwich or burger this is what i'll do i'll down. I mean, you'd think you would have a tripod, at least. Like, why are we seeing this table? Yeah. I mean, you're more of a film guy than me. You know, if I were to do it by myself, it'd probably be this or worse. If you did it yourself,

if we're lucky, it would be audio only, dude. Let's see. Center. With a nice, trusty steak knife that is not a safe way to cut all this bread i don't need that i just want the delicious outer part of the bread with a little bit of the inner part of the bread or spoon whatever and then he was cutting it like this yeah with his hand on the end of it. Yeah. Just common sense alone.

All right. Hang out. So all that little fluffy stuff inside the bread, take all that stuff out. I know this is an absolute mess, but look at how much bread I took out of here. I don't need all this stuff right here. Fascinating.

So I don't, yeah, this is all filler stuff. Yeah. There's enough good stuff on the bread where I can just wrap all these delicious ingredients in and it's going to taste better and not be so filling and I'll just have all the good stuff. So that's what I do.

This is almost like a tie. Everybody knows the doughy part of bread, that's the stuff that tastes bad. I mean, that's a pain in the air. Nobody likes dough, dude. I disagree with you a little bit, but I would... You don't like dough? No, let's hear me out, dude. I'm sorry. I would take all that out and still

eat the dough. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. That's so funny. You cut out all the thing and then you're just eating dough while you're cooking the bread. Yeah. That's funny. That'd be a funny cooking show. Charter's cooking street. Which we don't need.

Oh. And this is like gelatinous stuff on top. I sometimes put it on, but you don't have to. What is that? I don't know. Just like spread it all around like that. I'm going to cover this entire bread. So when it's all set and done, it looks like this.

The next step is the mayo, and I only have a little bit left of the Vietnamese mayo, so I'm going to put Miracle Whip. So this is the Vietnamese mayo. I see. I think that's the shit they put. Since he said Vietnamese, it's kind of like the stuff maybe they put on like a banh mi or some shit. I don't know.

Bone me, dude. I only have a little bit left. Then, I'm going to dive deep into this best boy, or bad girl. See that. Then I'm going to dive deep into this best boy or bad girl. See that? And I'm going to slather, lather, slather this thing all over here. I don't know why, but it's just so unappealing. Yeah, I mean, watching somebody put mayo on something is not ever going to be appetizing.

Mayo's good. It's like that one plane crash in Argentina, how they had the guy cut the bodies because they were cannibals. They had the guy cut the bodies away from everyone else. You don't want to see it. You don't want to see the hot dogs made, right? That's like every chin clip. Yeah. Watching the hot dogs being made.

I don't want to see your boner ramen. That's what the name of Jen's show should be, watching the hot dogs made. That's his cooking show because you don't want to see it. Ew. I know this might be gross to some of you guys, but I don't care. And now we put everything together.

It's just disgusting. Delicious barbecue pork. Oh my God. Is that cooked? Yeah. There's no hard and fast rules with this, so I'll do that first and then put some shredded chicken, the Vietnamese shredded chicken on top. It's just been out there

the whole time though. It looks bad. Chia lua right here. And since that's enough protein. More like chad nubs. Oh really dude? For this sandwich, I'm going to go ahead and just munch on that on the side.

Yeah. And close this bad boy up and then from here i'll tell you what i do next so you can tell this is all messy and dirty but that's what happens when you're trying to build a delicious sandwich a vietnamese sandwich i also have my trusty my favorite zevia flavor grape uh so what you do now is you put this bad boy or bad girl into a sheet of foil and i don't cover the top i just kind of like you know do something like that well it's not working right now but and i put too much foil but so anyways i'll put this foil on the bottom so i can put the sandwich now into the oven i'll put on the bottom part of the oven and I kind of roll things around like that. I feel

like that sort of helps with reflecting the heat, but I could be wrong. So then I'll turn the oven light on and I will also broil this on low. And I've never really done like an actual count like a you know a minute mark of how many minutes you have to do so I just sort of walk by and watch it and see if it starts crisping up on top and once I see it's crispy enough then I just pull it up okay since I love you guys I went ahead and made a make sure to time this and right now this is at eight and a half minutes and i think it's good to go i'm really hot i'll just grab it by the foil because it's not as hot put it down here now listen to that crisp

that does not sound appetizing this is how crispy and crunchy it is. Oh, man. It's burnt is what you're looking for. This is the worst thing to happen to Vietnam since the war. There's like a press conference in Hanoi where they're like, what are we doing here? We just saw someone butcher one of our famous sandwiches. Now no one's going to want to fucking get a bond me anymore,

dude. Vietnamese sales. It went down. Shadow bond me. I'm now Mark Norman. Oh my God. Like a redacted Mark Norman. Curry Underwood.

Wow. What, what, what was that? I will stop you on one thing, dude. Yeah. Crispy bread is bomb.

Yeah. Crispy bread is bomb, but it shouldn't make that noise. It shouldn't sound like this. That's exactly how it sounded. It shouldn't sound like you're fucking knocking on wood. A sandwich is good because you know a sandwich is good when it sounds like you're knocking on wood. It's got all of this. You're trying to avoid a curse. That's when sandwiches are good. Knock on wood. It's got all of this. You're trying to avoid a curse. That's when sandwiches are good.

Knock on wood. All right, we got another chin cooking clip, dude. I just want to knock these all out at once. I will say to the chefs, dude, we need to have the police. We need to have the police come in at the end. There's plenty of police clips out there, B. This one's highlight numerous. Clip date night warning long and boring.

Thank you, highlight numerous, for the long and boring. One of my favorite snacks right now. All right, we're going to grab some food. Stuff that we postmated. Burmese food. DoorDash. I. Burmese food. I'm going to grab it. DoorDash.

I heard Burmese food. What was that? I heard Burmese food is really good. My cousin took my parents to a Burmese restaurant. They were like, what are we doing here? And they got there and they were like, oh, this is Netflix. So I got to try that. Have you ever had Burmese food?

I'm not going to have it after this clip. I'll tell you that. Oh, shit. It's going to ruin Burmese. They ruined another thing. All right, whatever. This is our truck walk diaries watching chin i'm already taking a break off vietnamese food for his little while nah i mean no you're tripping yeah no it's so good it's so good it's so good at least it's okay

two bags this one's a lot heavier, I'm guessing. We got some food. Yum yum. Yum yum. Yum yum. Samosas. This is the salad, right? Yes. Tea leaf salad. And this is?

That's the noodle dish. Noodle dish. This is the beef. Oh, that looks good. Smells good. Naan. What is naan? This is the coconut curry. Oh, yeah.

I'm just uncomfortable. They're just showing food that they post-made in? Yeah. Wow, they do put a lot of things in everything. Samosas are good. I mean, why? Didn't say the restaurant. Didn't say what most of the shit is that they're eating.

Just like, let's order postmates then watch us eat it what the fuck i was gonna say from earlier like uh we always ask like why don't they edit that out why don't they this is the editor dude why is he filming in your old apartment that does look like exactly where I live. Fucking Highland Park and shit, dude. It's almost the same couch. Fucking, that's where your girlfriend's there, dude. Jin and you date the same woman.

Yeah. Hilarious. No, excuse me. It was like, well, they give you like a sauce, you know, but they didn't. Okay. It would taste better with condoms in it. Food looks good, dude. It's just weird to watch them eat. It's so weird watching people eat.

A giant naan that no one's had. She turned on the TV. I get to make it more interesting that'd be funny if they were watching t-fat k though it'd be funny if they're watching t-moose oh they were watching Ten minutes of shop. Already do. Well, you know you're supposed to slurp it. I guess. I mean, like, this is a lot of food. Yeah. This is a lot of food, man. Yeah. I mean, it's just gonna... Chana's chowing down hard, though.

I mean, I've been OMADing. Respect. Yeah. One meal a day. Thank you for the respect. Finally, I get some respect. Yeah. I mean, he's just going to Chana's chowing down hard. I mean, I've been oh madding respect. Yeah. One meal a day. Finally, I get some respect. Yeah. One meal a day and I can eat a lot. Yeah, I bet, dude. Oh, so you think he's oh madding? Yeah. Yeah, maybe. Yeah. Look at those thighs. He's a

skinny guy. Yeah. So much food. It breaks off like a cracker. It really dries your mouth up. It's really not overly fishy. It'd be funny if Callan just walks in and eats the rest of it. Yeah. Somebody save me

Me from my sin I spent so long Living in pain Facing my life now It's part of my head Oh my God. It's been a while since I ordered from Burmese food. Or some Burmese food. Somebody serve me.

Somebody door dash. Me some Burmese food. Me some garlic naan. My Mexican's hungry. All right, let's go on, dude. That was our chin section for the week. It's just so rough watching Chin eat. He's got a bad clip. I'm going to be boring as shit.

We'll cut all the Chin stuff. All right. So this one's posted by Toronto Rapture. It's called Brenda reads an ad for auto insurance and then immediately shits on auto insurance companies. Too good to be true, dude. There's no way. Cheat.

It's one of the many ways you can save with progressive insurance. Quote today at progressive.com to try the name your price tool for yourself. Join the over 20 million drivers who trust progressive. Progressive casualty insurance company affiliates price and coverage match limited by state law. Our insurance is super important. Dealing with it now. They take forever though.

They take their sweet time. We just had an insurance adjuster come look at my truck. He goes, yep, it's told Oldenville. I know. You drove all the way down here for that? We told you that. He goes, yeah, just had to see it with my own peepers. I'm like, cool, man.

What now? He goes, I'll go back and I'll report it, and then we'll take it from there. I'm like, okay, dude, three weeks wait for that? Hell yeah, dude. I can't drive in the rain until you get this figured out. In case you're going to have to keep picking me up. Pick them up. Replace your tires without slicks.

Never. I need slicks, Jen, to go fast when it's sunny out. Play the slick, Jen. Okay. Damn, dude. Oh, my God, dude. That's so fucking crazy. Do you think that the companies, they don't watch these things, right? Jen. Okay. Damn. Oh my God, dude. That's so fucking crazy.

Like, do you think that they, the companies, they don't watch these things, right? Or they do. And they, a great job reading it.

Can you not say that insurance sucks after you pluck insurance? You just cut out the, you could have, you could have turned it all around by being like, but progressive is good at this. Yeah. Progressive is great. Mine is bad. I'm thinking about switching to progressive.

He doesn't even use progressive. Yeah, Progressive's great. Mine is bad. I'm thinking about switching to Progressive. He doesn't even use Progressive? Dude, it took me like less than a week to get paid out for the crash I just got in. That's because you weren't at fault. Pain in the air, didn't it be? But people were surprised how quick it was. I'm like, me too, dude. Yeah, they did a good job. I've never been this rich my whole fucking life.

You want to shout? Who's your insurance or do you not want to reveal. Yeah, they did a good job. I've never been this rich my whole fucking life. You want to shout? Who's your insurance or do you not want to reveal? I'm not a sponsor. Dude, you got to pay me. Progressive, dude. Yeah. No, I do have progressive. Oh, you do?

Yeah. And I will say progressive was the blockbuster end of it. Oh, really? Yeah. There you go. Well, they were not paying us. Because I didn't get paid up from progressive. I got paid up by the other insurance.

That's right. Yeah. Lawyer. Yeah. No, no, no. National General. Everyone always complains about National General. They paid me by the other insurance. That's right. Fred Loya. No, National General. Everyone always complains about National General. They paid me in like six days. Shit.

Is that the Shaquille O'Neal one? I don't know if they're the same, actually. I think they might not be the same. Alright, so here we go. This one's posted by Haphazard. It's called, He calls his huge friend Joseph so he's not like every other psychophant. What does that mean?

Oh, like it's probably a famous person. Oh, Joe Rogan. Let's see. Working on material. So Joe Rogan just signed a $250 million expansion deal with Spotify. It's brilliant what Spotify is doing. So you know what they're doing?

So before it was just exclusively on Spotify, but now they're paying Joseph a truck ton of money. But yeah, Joseph Rogan, they're paying a truckload of money, but now they're going to get truck ton of money. But yeah, Joseph Rogan, they're paying him a truckload of money. But now they're going to get their money back off the ads. So now it's going to be on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, regular YouTube. So it's brilliant because it builds the audience. And then they reap all the benefits from the ads.

And Rogan gets his flat fee. It's brilliant. I don't care who you are. Obviously, Joseph's a huge friend. But when he goes to Spotify, I know a lot of people that stop listening. Just because they can't keep who you are. Obviously, Joseph's a huge friend, but when he goes to Spotify, I know a lot of people that stop listening just because they can't keep up with it. I want to hear a stat.

Man. We're about to get into numbers too. I want to hear a stat. That's like Callan's. You want to hear a stat about that? Per capita B, you refer to him as Joseph three times. What do you think about that? What's your opinion on that?

You don't have one? I got one if you don't. What I was thinking was he would know. He's like, people just don't want to download an app to listen to Joe Rogan. He's like, people like me. It's just too technologically inefficient. I mean, I didn't even listen to that part because I know he's a marketing genius and whatever he's saying is going to be right.

The Joseph thing, the reason that it's ridiculous is the way he says it. What's a sycophant? A sycophant, that's like someone who will follow whatever you do, kind of like loves you and whatever you you say they'll do it you know you're sycophants i'm a sycophant a lot of like tyrants have sycophants they just do the bidding of the guy yeah if i'm wrong gadush me yes i think that's what it means um i don't know he did joseph it just it just sounds so weird he's not doing it to be like funny yeah sometimes i'll do that

with people i'm friends with like if everybody calls somebody robert or if somebody i'll call him bobby or bob just like jokingly or whatever but shab is like joseph my friend joseph i don't it's probably just something he made the decision that day he's like i'm gonna start doing that yeah you know just like my favorite show it's marketing exactly marketing genius genius all right this one's posted by haphazard it's called this is hilarious with quotes let's see here i was stepped into the wrong water just now but did he ask him like a friend like so hey look i don't know how this works i just wanted to ask is it possible like i think i got mad i've done that because my boy's high up at an agency and this is hilarious and you guys all know him he He's a comic. This is hilarious. When the Joker was announced,

the Joker was being made, he goes, hey man, I think I'd be perfect for this role. I go, but have you ever acted? He goes, nah,

I've done some stuff. But I go, dude, this is like a major, like they're looking at walking, you know, this is insane, dude.

He goes, I don't know, could you just toss my name in there? And I brought it up as a joke and it was like shot down. I'm like, dude, it doesn't work like that. Like it just doesn't no like these these there's so many moving parts

yes like it just because we're buddies and i have a buddy who controls it he's not gonna put you in as the lead it's a major universal remember we talked to that guy we talked to a guy who's good who worked with the hell's angels he did merchandising and stuff for them. We did? Yes. And I don't know if you... Man. That's crazy. Is he saying just a random friend asked him if he could be

the lead in the Joker movie? Jesus Christ. Because Chavez friends with Ari Emanuel. And he said Asian C instead of Asian C.

Yeah. I didn't miss that. He should have said Asian C instead of Asian C. I didn't miss that. He should have said Asian triple C. Yeah, dude. Asian three Cs. Asian C with three Cs. Yeah. Yeah.

You know he was Asian because he had three Cs in Asian. It's like if Miguel asked us if we can get him on Brandon Walsh's podcast, we'd be like, no, dude, no one likes you. Yeah. This is hilarious. This is hilarious. Miguel wants to be on a podcast. It's just like, that's it?

You think you can be on a podcast? No, dude. You're lying. You're black muscle. All right. So this one's another haphazard. And I'm laughing because Miguel's hilarious. Yeah.

He's a very funny guy. Can never make it on a podcast. Let's see here. This one's posted by a haphazard. I hope he has life insurance. Mixing with that. Your boy is a truck racer. I race trucks.

I'm getting ready for the mint 400. I leave Friday to go test drive the truck they built for me. So it should be interesting. And I did tell them I flipped my TRX. So I need lessons. Not going to lie to you. But yeah, that's second week in March, but I've been rearing up for it,

test driving the car. I made this special car, truck, so it should be interesting. I can't wait. My brother's my co-pilot, co-driver. You know the guy who goes right, left, right, left, that's going to be Jay. Those are freaky when I watch those. Like Rally?

They look so crazy. It's going to be about an eight-hour race. I'm going to shit my pants. So you're getting trained first, and then you're going to race? I've been training. I've been training, yeah. Just don't tell you guys. Good luck. Yeah, I know.

That looks insane. Okay. This should be fun. What's this? How long do you think he's been training? 6,000 hours in three years. There's so many markers you could do. That's a new one.

6,000 hours in three years. You could also say, every night. You could say say seven days a week. Somebody could douche us for using phrases a lot. Is it seven days a week? Is that something we came up with? Well, it's not what he said. Yeah, I know. It's like, but we, like we made the tater tots once a week and then we did the seven days a week, right? Yeah. Is that our thing? You did the seven days a week. Yeah. Fair enough. Cut that out. No.

No. No. So, yeah, people have been gadushing us for the phrase, but I don't give a fuck. Yeah, yeah. They're fun. Everyone should use them. Yeah. All we do is discuss the podcast, B. True. We don't matter. We don't matter. We don't count. Oh, really? Just do all the phrases right now.

Dolphins fuck people. All right. So, this one's posted by the real Mr. Versace. Boppa catching strays. What are we doing here with the homeless cat in between? And despite having a girlfriend, I have a weird fear of dying in a gay way. Not so much like choking on a cock, but like choking to death on gluten-free popcorn

while watching shobs gringo poppy not really what i want to leave behind to my kids is a legacy i do have a bunch of kids uh and despite my best efforts they're all what like the gringo poppy look at harlem williams it like, what the fuck? What are we doing here? Brandon Chobb does comedy. Harlan Williams looks like he just realized where he is. Oh, shit.

I got to get out of here, man. Well, Red Band's response was the laughing hard. Let's just see really quick. While watching Chobb's Gringo Poppy. He just stopped lighting a cigarette. I really don't want to leave behind my kids as a legacy. That's pretty good. You bring up Shobbs, it takes away your addiction to nicotine. All right.

Well, we got three more clips left, dude. This has been a long episode today. This one's posted by Pharrell80s. It's called I Wonder Who They're Tom About. Joe Rogan experience. There's a lot of guys we started out with that are gone. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. No. Well, it's also, that's the thing about comedy is where it's like with bombing. Joe Rogan experience there's a lot of guys we started out with that are gone yeah oh yeah well it's also

that's the thing about comedy is where it's like with bombing like good comics will be like yeah you need that yeah so then there's guys

that are just fucking bombing true and they're like this is part of the all part of the process yeah it keeps them around I bomb there

I do like the dudes who bomb every fucking time. They don't give a fuck. It's kind of tight. I mean, it's admirable. Who's bros that bombed for 10 straight years? Yeah, that's not good. There's a lot of fighters like that, too.

Boom. Damn. I didn't even connect that. Yeah. There's a connection there. Wow. I don't know who they're talking about, though. Whoever it is, doesn't matter. It doesn't count. No, no it's not shot um all right this one's posted by toronto

rapture it's called i've been training i've been training yeah yeah i just don't tell you guys we already watched this one yeah all right let's just skip this one for today unless there's a funny anecdote yeah there's something at the end let's see all right we gotta watch it so you're getting trained first and then you're gonna race i've I've been training. I've been training. Yeah, yeah. I just don't tell you guys. Good luck. Yeah, I know.

That looks insane. Okay. This should be fun. What's this? This is how we do it. Ah! Nah. Very funny, but you know.

I am scared for Schultz or for Schaub. I'm scared for Schultz. Just his jokes alone. And Jay, dude. Yeah, dude. Jay's driving or no, giving instructions. Yeah. How is Jay training him?

I don't know. Blind leading the blind, B. All right. This is the last clip for the week it's just the eyes emoji let's see then we have one

shot of you in a village how much for the little girls huh alright we got some kinks to work out alright

I think that's another comic alright so let's let's wrap it up alright damn good douche good douche

and then stone0777 had another post about the face that he makes oh yeah I wish we had the voicemail from the raccoon tweet

he's a player this guy in our raccoon tweet he's completely nailed the Delia impersonation better than I could have in my entire life do you want me to play it real quick

yeah dude let's see here I was like whoa this guy fucking gets it. Is it this one? The Oh Really Dude. Yeah, I think it's this one. Oh, you got it? Raccoon Tweety, shout out. And I said, Oh Really

Dude? Just fucking laugh at the end of it, man. There's some talented chefs in the Raccoon Tweety's universe. Yeah. But leave us a voicemail if you want to at 775-557-8667. That's 775-557-TEMOS. And we play them on our other show, Raccoon Tweety's.

What do you think about these two guys, dude? They were starting to show up a lot in this Bop Averse thing, dude. Yeah. I mean, you know, I hope they don't get gadouche too hard. It's just, I... But they're creating content. I used to love Tom Segura.

Oh, yeah? And people are trying to make me hate him now, dude. Yeah, I don't, I don't hate Tom. Yeah. I think he's funny. You don't hate Bird either.

No, but Bird is getting annoying. Yeah. I get a lot of hate for him. I mean, I'll fight, I'll, what's it, I will die on this mountain

right? I will die on this mountain the machine was funny I enjoyed the machine did you see it? I saw it but I passed out I was going through a breakup and then I got back together with my girl what did you think about it?

I passed out I didn't sleep for like two days before watching it wait before watching it? yeah I didn't sleep for like two days before watching it so wait before watching it yeah i didn't sleep for like two days before watching it okay but then you watched it and what happened i passed out in the movie theater oh did you see any of it i was crying at the beginning because i was sad oh yeah you're watching the wrong might you watch it again give it another shot my machine made my brother was like it wasn't that bad which he's put bad instead of good in the sentence so you know what i mean it wasn't that bad, which he's put bad instead of good in the sentence. So you know what I mean? It wasn't that bad though.

Right? A little bit of a painted narrative for you saying that it's bad. If you say it wasn't that bad. No, it was good. I'm trying to be the devil's assistant. Right, right, right. Yeah. Well, listen, I say it's funny.

Yeah. Some of the stuff he does, some of the stuff we've seen today, not so great. But that movie was good. CJ Stroud, you're welcome on the podcast whenever you want. Yeah, you stand on business, my friend. Alright, see you next week. Later.