10 Minutes of Schaub - Brendan Schaub has a tongue on him... and it'll make you work... | 10 Minutes of Schaub #45

Episode Date: April 4, 2023

Forty Fifth episode of 10 Minutes of Schaub

Fatty snack, gimme that It's been too long, she has a text back Got dick juice from a dude That's kept me slinging out I've been hanging with Jeff Dye Cause he's one of our guys Get the sink cause I'm gonna fly I got nine lies, cat's eyes

Abusing every one of them and running wild I like fish I like fish Yeah, I like fish. Yeah, I love fish. Fish, balls deep in fish. I'm balls deep in fish. I'm balls deep in fish. One take.

It's time for my favorite time of the week. When you get the ear, bop, but try to speak. Release surprises today. You better act fair. Watch 10 Minutes of Shop. Welcome back to 10 Minutes of Shop. Thanks for tuning in. As always,

join the Patreon if you want. Everything's on Discord. Everything's on Discord. Join the Discord. Everything's on Spotify now now i'm gonna add something be sure to uh like and subscribe oh right yeah yeah be sure to like and subscribe yeah but anyways that's not why you're here you're here for 10 minutes of shop so start the timer now play the chin clip yes sir okay sir. Okay. So the,

we're also, you forgot to mention that we are shooting this early this week. Oh, right. Yeah. Cause you're going to be gone. So if there's any Netflix clips that come out in the next couple of days, we're going to be late on them one week.

Right, right, right. Anyways, the first one was posted by minimum sky, 23, zero five. It's called thick life.

And we watched a little bit of this. Yeah. Can't wait to see the rest. It's pretty good. Yes. Here goes. life and we watched a little bit of this yeah it's pretty good yes i'm the tour guide if you're looking for the official tour guide this it's already like um it's a college ad an ad for some college where you go to school and you learn nothing and he's got he's they all have their decked out in thick boy where

he's the tour guide it's it's out of control already is it a thick boy world thick boy university it's so many things because we've seen a little bit of it yeah it's thick life it's it's a thick life yeah i like the uh background that like epic music action movie music yeah oh you're getting the boys are gonna show you how it is here in thick town we're introducing b-shop and this guy and jay and some black guys. I convinced to be my friends. Also the tour guide thing makes no sense. He's like,

you, we ain't got a tour guide. I'll be your tour guide. Yeah. I don't, I don't know. I think they had like a whole speech prepared. Brendan took some time to prepare a speech,

but then somebody came up to him at the beginning was like, Hey, say that there's no tour guide, but you're the tour guide. I think you're onto something. I think what happened is like that. was a speech brendan had something planned he tried to do it and it didn't work out and they're like all right cut all that but what we have is the part where you say tour guide which is kind of cool you're a tour guy he's like

oh yeah because brendan's always wanted to do various careers yeah he's balls deep in fish now he wants to be a tour guide there's gonna be to be many of the things he's going to say that he's into. I like fish. All right, here we go. It's the real reel. It's the real reel. Lee Harvey Oswald from there, a below average Marine, is able to pull that off. I don't think so.

Nobody's buying that. What else you got? Jack Ruby. He thought he was talking to Chin for a second. He always says something that shocks you. because you think it's going to be about thick boy merch and all the play on i don't know college tours he's going to cancel a show date yeah but instead he comes right at the gate with some jfk thing that's like doesn't match the tone of the president being assassinated at all you thought we were gonna find hitler but we didn't what

hitler hitler was really a bad guy but some of the things he did was cool what papa oh really dude all right here we go the guy who shot the harvey oswald again why would he do it the mafia ties this lounge mosey on into the police station. Okay. I think he said Islam. He's like, Islam to mosey on into the police station. He's got to throw it all in there, you know? Islam, JFK.

We'll see what else he pulls out of his giant hat. He said they just allowed him to, but that translates to Shabism of Islam, dude. Right. Exactly. They just allow him to. You know what I'm saying? He's a man of many words. Why would that work too much?

I believe that. His brain doesn't work enough. I believe that. Right when I said why would that work too much. Let's say you believe that. Landon B. Johnson. Oh, him and JFK got along? Come on. Come on. Come on. How long are we going to buy this, guys? This is a real tour This is a real tour with Brendan Schaub

I'm your tour guide We're not buying this shit It is kind of like a wrestling promo, you know? If the guy wasn't very good Yeah And it's just, oh, you ready? And then he says, the real, real Like that ad that always plays on Hulu

For the clothes It's the real, real It's Sch real, real. Shab doing their voice. That'd be good. I want to see Shab do a Thick Life real tour guide of fucking SeaWorld, dude. That would be lit. Shab doing anything like that for different companies would be great.

Yeah. I'm going to skip the theme song because I don't want to hear it. It's just the Thick Boy Squad. You already know. All right, here we go. Ready? Oh, you don't even think hear it. It's just the thick boy's glide. You already know. All right, here we go. Ready? Oh, you know what I didn't think? He's back in Dallas.

Like the Gringo Poppy, he's back to where it's filmed. He's not afraid to revisit. Wow. Is there going to be an announcement of a Gringo Poppy 3? Gringo Poppy 2, I mean. No, he would skip it. Yeah, because he can't count. It's like Gringo.

You guys like the first one? Get ready for Gringo Poppy. Hey, what about the shut up? No criticism. Okay. I didn't even think of that. He's back to Dallas, dude. And guess what?

He's different. Dallas is still different. That would be great if that was his conclusion of why he was killed. JFK got killed because Dallas is different. Different. Yeah. Or it would be great if he actually solved the mystery. Oh, yeah. He's the guy that proved.

Yeah. You won't believe it, but Schaub figured it out. Yeah. He gets assassinated. Schaub who? Brendan Schaub? Nah, not a chance. Not a chance.

Brenda Schlaub figured the whole thing out he's Columbo so much music oh the X's I'm glad you asked the first one would be the shot

which through the autopsy was through the front the throat so obviously didn't come from that angle

I would I think it came through over here the grass the throat so obviously they come from that angle i would i think it came through over here the grassy knoll with umbrella man was that can you translate what he just said i think it came through the glassy knoll where the umbrella man was at he sounds like a beatles song sometimes yeah you're right yeah redacted he's a redacted version of john lennon highly redacted yeah oh yoko i don't have anything for that um we have the magic bull theory which that bullet traveled hit the governor of texas a bull a magic bull right we all remember the magic bull theory. JFK was killed by a random bull that appeared out of nowhere and shot him with a gun. There's a buller thrill film.

Fuck. Fuck. Here we go. Hip or leg. And then the final shot where everyone's taking pictures, smiling and shit, which is insane. Because the man died there. That was the shot through the head, and that's where he died. Then they gunned the car, right?

Gunned the car, drive through this, drive through that all over there, go straight to the hospital. They take JFK to the hospital, where the corner, the bullet did go through the front, which makes no sense if Lee Harvey Oswald, an average at best Marine sniper, no, hit the shot. That would be great if in his glasses you could see somebody with cue cards just dropping them like one by one. He's reading actual words

that someone wrote. That would be crazy. A man in a denim jacket will someday talk about your death outside of here where you were murdered, Mr. President. He's like, oh, I'll see you later then. He's like, well, this country's not worth fighting for. That's not what you can do for your country,

but Chavez is a fucking redact. Ask, what are we doing here? Ask not what he can do for your country. Ask, what are we doing here, papa? I like this. I like JFK Chavez. JFK Chavez is good. Any character of Chavez is good.

It being I'm redacted. The carK's shop is good. Yeah, any character shop is good. Ick being iron redacted. The car. Oh, they took the car, wiped it clean, bleached it of any evidence. That seems normal. He's like, he landed it like a figure skater, dude. He's like, that seems normal. Ruby, like his ties with the mafia. He's clearly in the mafia.

I love the editing is always so great. This cannot be from the YouTube. They did this. No, I don't want that, but they do. I have a feeling somebody there's no way. Let's see. Let's see if this leads us. You're saying this is not from thick boy.

What is it? What's the YouTube called? Thick Oh, extra thick. Well, there's extra thick. There's a way. Let's see. Let's see if this leads us. You're saying this is not from thick boy. What is it? What's the YouTube called thick Oh extra thing. Well, there's extra thick there's a Brendan Chobb. There's thick boy Network So I don't know what you're referencing Extra thick is what I was maybe it's extra thick. Yeah, which I'm gonna subscribe to extra thick I just we just found out about extra thick right? Yeah me too, probably. I'm going to be honest. He knew Lee Harvey Oswald in New Orleans. There's a whole new connection. No way. This is not. I love it.

The Dallas Mafia, which- This is literally- J.K.'s brother. This is like T-Fat K editing. Yeah. Because you know how they always do the hand and stuff? Yeah. This was-

Minimum Sky made this. He made the clip, and he shot this. Minimum Sky works for you. Minimum Sky is a mole agent from T-Fat K that has gone in. He's like the new Marg. He's really yoked. He gets steroids and Dig Gs and Addys and Baddies. You devil, Minimum Sky, you.

If I said I was Minimum Sky, you would agree. I can give you all types of videos. That's a good one. That's a good one. You know that he said that in the movie, right? I film your video. Look, I got Daniel Plainview on the soundboard.

Oh, you do? Oh, I'll play that. That's a good one. That's a good one. Too much fun. Skits and bits. board. Oh, you do? Oh, I'll play that. That's a speakeasy. There's like a gentleman's club where the DDA, FBI agents, the feds, the mob. How much Addy's went into the production of this, dude? A lot, man. Addy's is, I really think that's the one thing I do believe, that Addy says, well, he kind of confirmed it with all those texts, but as everyone has been saying, Adderall is huge in this.

It's got to be a reason for why a lot of these guys act the way they do. Yeah. Although it is kind of hack to criticize people. Because people have said, we're on Adderall. We're not. I'm not. I swear. You're lying.

You're lying. Yeah. Nobody knows who you are. Yeah. Nobody knows who you are. Don't make sense. It's nice. We would be a lot better, I think, if we were on Adderall.

Yeah. I've thought about taking it. It would be a lot better, I think, if we were on Adderall. Yeah, I've thought about taking it. It would help me have emotion, probably, and energy. I show up with red eyes and about to die. From the dick juice, Doug. Too much dick juice. Here we go. Thea, Johnson, Ruby, everybody would get together.

They'd gamble. They'd have drinks. There'd be girls there. There's a whole club. They all knew each other. It was so strange. And Jack Ruby just mows these into the police station. Mows these in.

Nobody questioned them. And he's allowed to shoot. Maybe they weren't supposed to be filming this, but they did by accident. And he's like, you got that, right? And they're like, oh, we did, but not really good. I hope this isn't another thing like with a fish where it was like, there's clearly not really, you guys were like, no,

no, he, he bid the fit or like the, that's what I'm saying. I feel like maybe it has to be posted. That might be, that might be. If we'll check.

Yeah. We'll go to thick life. If that's another YouTube channel, if we have to. Yeah. We'll go to thick world. Okay. Yeah.

Where are we on thick Safari? We'll be on thick, uh, thick Los Angeles. we'll do it all lee harvey oswald and lee harvey oswald when their question never admitted it not once they say he's always confused jack ruby dies of cancer before he can say anything but he kept saying he wanted to talk to someone he kept going hey i have a lot of information i need to talk to someone give you the truth they no one ever interviewed him. They never let him say his piece ever.

For reals. He just goes. I don't know if any of what he's saying is factual and I can understand some of it. It's hard to pay attention to him even if he is saying something true. I'm just like, whatever, he's saying something dumb. It's like listening to a kid that always says stupid things. It does make you

value English class. Like, man, I should have paid attention more. Because what if I sound like this? Yeah, if I've ever sounded like this, damn. Yeah. What are we doing? Yeah. Okay, Mr. Whole Foods. They died in prison. Come on.

Because I need everything dead. What? Wait a minute. Is this before the Gringo Poppy? Oh my, yeah, maybe. Bro, we never saw somebody putting up the skyline like that before. No. That's kind of a clue into who did it because we've always wondered who actually put it up. Let's see this

really quick here. This is like our JFK thing. For real. This guy. You know, this clip is like the Zapruder film. we're gonna get somebody's gonna get shot this guy's probably been shot like jack ruby he's gonna get killed right before he tells us who really made the gringo poppy oh my god dude this is crazy yeah that's even it looks

worse like this before it actually gets spray painted or whatever they did so this is the white boy that works too much dude oh my god all right let's go oh you know just a normal regular friday night shooting a special oh so it is the bro whisperer because remember that's what haphazard said that was going to be the name yeah yeah and they apparently they shot the bro whisperer. It sucked. And they were like, you know what? We do got in the can. The gringo poppy. So how bad was the bro whisperer? Pretty fucking bad.

Well, at the beginning of the gringo poppy, I know every line now. He says, they call me the bro whisperer. Right. So I think it's the same material. They just like the gringo poppy name better. Oh, okay. Well, I guess, yeah. And would it have been such a cult classic if it was called the bro whisperer? You'd probably like

ignore it, right? Yeah. The gringo poppy like we talked about is a pretty good name. Yeah, it had some potential that just didn't reach fizzled out be let's see. That's it in Dallas, you know I got makeup on

what's up? What a great cut. What a great cut. Amazing. Scorsese level. Yeah. All right, let's see. We got good takes.

That's all this is. We got good takes. Who's this? This is my new whiskey, y'all. It's called Nica. Prior to Tiger Thick, huh? Yeah. Wow.

I don't know. I don't know how I feel about this. What are we doing here, Bob? What are we doing here? What are we doing here? David Lucas confirmed homeless. Drinking. Drinking.

Drinking something other than the Tiger Thick? Yeah. I mean, I don't know about that. Even if it's before, it's still dicey, dicey. Okay. Coffee. I don't even see it. I see it.

The Japanese one. You know which one. The one with the M, man. Come on. What are you putting in your drink order? Yeah, be careful how you say it. You get canceled. Can I get a Nick-o-meat?

I'd like a drink, sir. A Nick-o, please. Could I get a Nick-o? Oh, Mark Carly's at the end were dude. I like how they put chin space on it. Oh, here we go. Everyone stop laughing as soon as Mark.

They're doing some riffs in the screen room. So now we know why he beat his wife. He's so pissed that nobody lasted his jokes. Oh, wow. they're doing some riffs in the screen room. So now we know why he beat his wife. He's so pissed that nobody lasted his jokes. Oh, wow. Dicey dicey. Here we go.

I really, I really cannot stand the music. I don't know about you. Yeah. I do this while I was going, but it is bad. Yeah. Thick boys. Thick boys. this while it's going but it is bad yeah thick boy squad thick boy

so this kind of shows his opening for him yeah and also too this also gives us the inclination that there's a possible documentary of the gringo poppy in the works yeah there's got to be some behind the scenes stuff because this this is behind the scenes stuff in itself. And also too, there's got to be some like streamer that's kind of homeless, like Netflix or HBO or Hulu that'll be willing to pay for the footage to make their own documentary.

Yes, I would love this footage. I'd love to talk to anybody that shot this. I'd love to talk to anybody on the football team. And I was just thinking behind the scenes as BTS, it's also behind the shot. Yeah, behind the shot, behind the poppy himself. Baddies.

Oh, wow. Baddies and Baddies. Oh, wow. Baddies and baddies. Dude, Mark Harley looks like an AI-generated photo right there, dude. A little bit. I like how they miss his face. They miss the other guy. This is an eye into like child fantasy.

Yeah. Wow, look at that. Everybody excited that they participated in what has become the worst comedy special of all time. Oh my gosh, dude. That's Jay right there, huh?

Wow. Where's Jay? Right here. Oh yeah, that's Jay. Yeah. Jay, Chappelle, some random man that's escaped from existence

ever since this came out. I mean, he got out pretty good because nobody knows that he was involved. Everybody knows that Chappelle and David Lucas are in this. I don't want to be that guy, dude, but not one Latino on the screen right here, dude.

Yeah, which is funny because I got, I mean, the specials about his Latin wife and then also I got the impression that most of the audience was Latino, right? Yeah, I mean, it's different. Definitely, definitely Mr. Whole Foods. Yeah. Got nachos or whatever he. Definitely. Definitely Mr. Whole Foods. Yeah. Got nachos or whatever he says.

You got us Latinos drunk. We'll laugh at anything. There's video proof of it, Doug. There you go. Oh, you wanted to say something. Just kidding. Here we go. Oh, my God, dude.

How many Adderalls went into the making of this video? I don't want to. Oh, cut in the part where we're all dancing. Yeah. We are so excited. Yeah. I want to see Mark. I want to see Mark Serge Kane on his text messages and see how much shows up.

Yeah. There should be the way that's a shot should be totally different with the outcome of Gringo Poppy. Instead of this music, it should be like depressing piano music outcome of gringo poppy instead of this music it should be like depressing piano music like the music that would be in like a world war ii era film you know and then being like you know like at the bar like shit we can get fired man who's gonna talk to him can you look I look. I look shop in the eye after. I don't recommend that.

I don't recommend we talk to him for a few weeks. This is the worst special of all time. We're going to go. And then they start laughing. Dude, when he said that thing about Whole Foods, what was that? Where did that come from? That was. Fat people are like, fuck that. Fat people are like, fuck that.

Fat people are like, fuck that. Going to get donuts. I mean, after it, there had to be one person like, hey, don't tell them, but I went on the Reddit. I posted some things. Minimum sky. Oh, God. I need a big girl. What a big boy.

I need everything. I get the feeling that none of these guys really want to be there. Like Mark and Chappelle are like, okay, I guess I have to dance. That's fine. The improv doesn't want to be here. Yeah. The improv wants to like not be in the video after they find out they're like, fuck, is this going to, are people going to still come here? This is going to be like a tragedy zone.

They're like, this isn't even going to be on thick, thick but it's gonna be on extra thick are you kidding me it is this is like uh i almost said some i almost said something really fucked up i'm trying to think of a less messed up version of what i was gonna say i get it's like it people go to the nine 11 Memorial, but like this, this Dallas stadium is like a Dallas stadium. This Dallas comedy club now is kind of like the nine 11 for comedy. Like it happened there. Never forget. I was going to say something so much worse than that.

The thing I was going to say makes me think I should go back to therapy. Well, speaking of the 9-11 of comedy, dude, there's a 9-11 in the subreddit currently. I wanted to address it now. Right here, dude. As you can see, posted by Sven Sexa. Pour out a little tiger thick for the homie no longer with us?

Question mark. Say it, Nate. So can anyone explain why one of the head chefs is gone? Vacation? Name change? Gadooshed. And as you can see, it's a picture of a very small Joe Rogan here. And Jake the Snake. And Jake the Snake.

Rogan is shorty pie. The user has deleted their account. Yeah, it sucks. I didn't see it until it got posted in the Discord and then Haps said something that was good about it, but I don't even remember what he said. Yeah. But yeah, we don't matter. But man, thank you.

Thank him for the service. A lot of the clips we watched were Rogan and Shorty Pie. Netflix. Great guy. Never met him. Never did meet him. Doesn't matter. All right.

I'm going to miss him seven times a week. I think Minimum Sky is applying for the new Rogan and Shorty Pie position because we got a lot of clips from him this week. Okay. Well, yeah, he may very well be a mole in the big boy nation. This one's called They Just Go, posted by MinimumSky2305.

Silicon Valley has been basically with this DEI, ESG, all this sort of like equity movement. New code is not being done. Bring your whole self to the world. Pause it. Brian's trying to get in on the conservative thing so hard now esg i mean i'm not a smart guy but it has something to do with like environment social justice something it's like something about uh doing things like

making your company is good for the environment and then also working with diversity and all this stuff. And so some people have blamed the bank that crashed like their... FTX? No, Silicon Valley Bank or whatever. I guess one of their risk people had something in their profile

about how they work on ESG. But all of the companies do that. Like Apple, Walmart, they all have that because they're all planning for the future and whatnot. But Brian's trying to get on Crowder. So he's like, yeah, I'm getting a little bit of money.

Toehold told me to leave. The flip-flops I'm done with. But his first choice over becoming like a right-wing guy was selling flip-flops. That didn't pan out. So he's like, well, I guess I got myocarditis now. So from the vaccine. Work vaccine workplace it's just crazy so it seems that there isn't the incentive for outlaws remember remember everything that you

think about silicon valley podcasting anything that you like it was all started by outlaws it was all started by boys networks sean shel Sean Shelby. It's not Sean Shelby. MMA. MMA. Shelby Cars was off Venice. What are they? I don't know. Papa didn't care about any of that, which I respect, until he said something there he could talk about cars.

Shelby's. It's essentially like Hot Wheels. Yeah. You remember the cars? He's like, have you seen the new Ford Lopez? Lopez. Lopez underwear. Underwear. Sometimes Lopez? Lopez. Lopez underwear. Underwear.

Sometimes a week. Wild West. Gay butt sex. Science. Actually, I'm liking Boppa in this clip. I think he's making some really good points. Some good riffs there. Even science, the great physicists.

Gay butt sex. People that, gay butt sex. This is what you should talk about when people try and force politics on your throat. Gay butt sex. Gay butt sex. People that, gay butt sex. This is what you should talk about when people try and force politics on your throat. Gay butt sex. Gay butt sex and just let it stop.

You're right, dude. Maybe Papa is ahead of our time, dude. I'm absolutely not right. You're right. I'm just saying. If anybody asks me what I think about Trump getting indicted,

I'm just going to say gay butt sex, dude. Fair enough. At least it'll stop. And I'll just going to say gay butt sex, dude. Fair enough. At least I'll stop. And I'll just keep going, dude. Everything, for real. Like all this technology. Dehoxies.

We go to Texas. Or do we make up? No, we don't. We go to Texas. Because the hub of comedy. Russia. And people there. I'm liking how you're talking.

We buy property in those places. In Russia, the economy's booming. We do a one-month-a-year fighter and kid in Russia. Hey, guys, what's going on? Enjoy your lunch. We got to know. The state of Russia or the country of Russia? Explain.

Vodka. Baltimore. We're going to do Matamoros, Maryland, Baltimore, Friday and Saturday. Magoobies, come get some. March 31 and April 1. I'll see you there. Look, man, I need something that helps me focus on. He's like, I can't.

No more, Brian. You're so boring. Magoobies is the clip where the guy's like, cut his dick off or grab his dick and twist it, I think. Because I was in Baltimore and that's at Clevin. Oh, yeah. Oh, he was wearing the Baltimore Orioles jersey, right? Yes.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I wonder what jersey it was. Probably Cal Ripken. Yeah, probably. Because Bapa's on the same schedule as Cal Ripken Jr., you know, and never missed a game.

Bapa doesn't really miss podcasts. Great guy. Never met him. Yeah. I wonder if Cal Ripken did a lot of Kratom and Adderall and all that stuff. Blue Chew.

Blue Chew. Cal Ripken did Blue Chew. Dick Juice. That's the secret to success, dude. Complex tasks. I want to think more clearly

and distress. I want to react more clearly. I want something that's caffeine-free though and I want something that helps my flow state, promotes focus.

How long have you been doing this show talking about alpha brain from our friends at Onnit? Come on. Equitment, kettlebells, steel clubs, maces. It sounded like he was going to get mad that they were doing something too long, and then he was like, I'm selling this thing. They're paying. How many times are we going to tell you about Onnit, dude?

Does Onnit pay for this? Do people buy Onnit because this idiot is like yawning and barely alive during the podcast? Probably. Yeah, you're probably right. Yeah. Of course they do. Well, there's people in the world that want to get to Shob's level.

They're like below that and they were trying to get up there and then they get the Onnit, the Kratom, the Tiger Thick. Yeah, being the most famous dummy. Yeah. Yeah. That is probably a goal for a lot of the people that watch this. Yeah. Being the most famous dummy. Yeah. Yeah. That is probably a goal for a lot of the people that watch this. Yeah.

Sandbags, yoga mats. You need better nutrition on it has MCT oil and protein. They got it all on it. Dot com slash F A T K dot com. You need better nutrition. Everyone knows you're supposed to take MCT oil. What is that? It has oil in the name.

Yeah. Snake oil, MCT. I need MCT oil. It is that? It has oil in the name. Snake oil. MCT. I need MCT oil. It helps me with my day. No, it doesn't. No, just get back to the program. You filthy animals. It's like a random ref from a movie.

Yeah. Well, that one, that was a, that was a long clip. I think we have a lot of long clips today, dude. Big boy squad. Big boy squad. Big boy nation. All right. The next one's posted by eggymule86. It's called comedy doesn't work that way.

But you also had to work hard for that sellout. Because I remember when we had Steve on, he was saying it too. Like, he was like, yeah, my name, I'm Steve-O. But he goes, I wasn't selling out shows immediately. Like, it just doesn't work that way. Comedy doesn't work that way. Comedy doesn't work that way. Yeah, comedy doesn't work that way. You have to work your ass off

to be a ticket seller. Schaub cannot relate to this at all. He didn't have to do any of those things. He didn't have to work his ass off. He wasn't the white boy that works too much. He literally just went on Rogan's podcast a million times and still is not doing it.

And then he's going to be like, yeah, it's really hard because he sucks. It's not going well. It is a sad thing. The improv, the laugh factory, the ice house, the comic works in Denver. It's not going to pass me because I was a good UFC fighter. They're not going to pass you because you're terrible. The comic store might let me go on the main room and the belly room

because I was a good UFC fighter. The Bali room. It doesn't work that way. The Bali room. It just, the comic doesn't work that way. They're not going to pass you The comics are not letting me go on the main room And the belly room Because I was a good UFC fighter Bolly room It doesn't work that way Bolly room It's just the comedy doesn't work They're not going to pass me Unless I suck Joey Diaz's dick for five minutes Let me tell you about my friend Brandon

Okay He's a nice guy That he say some things That are not too good Sometimes he die But hey listen There's no George Carlton If you came there to see Jerry Seinfeld

You came to the wrong place, cocksucker. Brandon Schaub just goes. He just goes, okay? He's a good guy. He's hilarious. You'll think to yourself, what are we doing here? Okay, Mr. Whole Foods. Nobody knows.

You think you can talk shit, but one of these days, Brandon Schaub's going to see you and you'll be walking in the 7-Eleven. He'll be trying to get some soda and chips, and then he's going to body slam you. You'll like Chop. You'll like Choppy. And then he's going to body slam you. You like chop? You like choppy. That's true. I mean, it kind of goes back to that conversation about how honest that specific industry is, right? Like when you go on stage, if you're not funny, nobody's going to fucking laugh.

Nobody's going to laugh. Nobody's going to show up. I could have followed Joey Diaz or Theo or Brian or Joe. The comms weren't allowed to happen. The other guy, the Asian guy, he looks too professional to be there. He looks like he's out of place. Yeah, shout out. I think it's David So, right? Who's that? David So. He's

cool. He's a comedian or? I don't know. Great guy. Never met him. Right. Well, he's out of place there. He seems too professional. Way too intelligent for that place. Alright, so we got another minimum sky, 2305. I saw a lot of people were posting from this sketch I think they have at the beginning of the episodes now. Oh. intelligent for that place. All right, so we got another minimum sky to three zero five. I saw a lot of people are posting from this sketch. I think they have at the beginning

of the episodes now. Have you heard about this now? No great great sketch got to watch it. It's called do they have pf changs minimum sky? Sure in Los Angeles, oh my sure that supports the ranch and stop the apparently all the we have. We didn't think about that right. Apparently convince that supports the Rams to stop the P.O. Yeah, apparently all the... We didn't think about that. Right, apparently... Convinced you guys to move to Arkansas. I was like, hard sell. And then Ab so funny goes,

I'm down. Two questions. Do you have a P.F. Chang's? Do you have a Topgolf? And I go, I start laughing. I go, dude, that's your requirements?

He goes, yes, because I love P.F. Chang's. They have a Topgolf. I don't golf. But you have the infrastructure where you can support a guy like me. Is that... That's Adam? Yeah. SoF. Chang's. They have a Topgolf. I don't golf. You have the infrastructure where you can support a guy like me. That's Adam? Yeah.

So smart. So funny. It doesn't make sense. That's actually true. You have your cool taco place next door. You have different things. That means they're going to have something going on where I can live and sustain them.

Well, Dove Davidoff. It's so funny. You always hear the same names they bring up. Yeah, they love dove david yeah dove was at his wedding dove was doing that wonder it does never on it though no yeah does moved on other things yeah it's just a guy pretending to be dev davidoff messaging them a friend of his asked him if there's a pf changs nearby so they can move there a friend asked him that i think so right or who are they talking about i don't even know

that's amazing that a friend brought that up. He's not your friend. A friend like Patrick Crowder is your friend. But here's the thing, though. For some reason, nobody knows, but a go-to for Bapa is P.F. Chang's. Why? Why does he just say that randomly in conversation? Does he say it a lot? Yeah, that's why it's called P.F. Chang's. Well, I mean,

I thought there was a story about him being rude to a P.F. Chang's guy or something. Yeah, but also, too, that people work like rude to a PF Chang's guy or something. Oh yeah. And, but also to that people work at PF Chang's or whatever. Like, yeah, he's like, Oh, don't they work at PF Chang's?

That's what I thought originally. It was like they're homeless cats. So they work at PF Chang's. But then somebody said he was like rude to a PF Chang's guy. But that's what I'm saying though. He said PF Chang's so many times. It's just kind of like an ad lib in his mind. The PF Chang's is a place.

He can't get away. His favorite restaurant has been ruined by the subreddit. Which honestly, dude, you guys have heard me say before, I love fucking Brendan Schaub, dude. And if that's true, that he just has P.F. Chang's whenever he's talking about any kind of establishment, he's fucking A-OK in my book, dude. P.F. Chang's is pretty good.

Yeah, I've never been there. It's good. We should go. I'm down, bro. That'd be a fire picture right there. Yeah, we should go to P.F. Chang's. What are we doing here? What are we doing here, dude? I had it when I went home.

My parents ordered it. I visited my folks. They just ordered it randomly. They didn't even know. They're like Papa. My dad's like Papa. Okay, so this next one's called Black Belt. Black Belt in podcasting posted by MinimumSky2305.

Damn. Yeah, I just feel like now I'm thinking. Blackbell in podcasting posted by MinimumSky2305. Damn. Yeah, I just feel like now I'm thinking. Get your hands out of your mouth, you freak. What are you doing? Take your hands out of your mouth, you freaking lunatic. What is that? There's giant fingers in his mouth.

He's been scratching things all day. He just puts them right in his mouth. Rubbing them legs? I put my fingers in your mouth. You would think that was gross, wouldn't you? If you put your fingers in my mouth, yeah, that's fucking disgusting. Yeah, well, they do that too. They put their fingers in each other's mouths as well. That's why Chappelle left. Okay, we'll cut that part out. Yeah, we should.

It's brilliant of Red Band to do that. It's brilliant. Why do you have pimples on your face? I have pimples on my face because my boss keeps touching my face. After rubbing his leg. You should sue your boss. We should try to incorporate that, though. We should have you like,

I'm going to change the camera angle to have your legs in the shot so you could just rub it. Oh, here we go. I can do it too, yeah. I want to get plants in our, like we got to get plants in this and start handing things to each other through plants. We have a picture of us behind you too, right?

I really can't do this. I can't talk and rub my leg. Yeah, I'm not going to. When I see Bapa do stuff like that, it's like, oh, this is what not to do. Yeah. Yeah. So that's helpful in a way.

Kind of like the Rogan clip where he's like, you know, being around narcissistic being people shows you like when you're around good people, like how not to act. That's how I feel about almost everything that shop does. Yeah. It don't make sense. That makes sense. Dude, how much can I get paid to be a shopping person eater?

I don't know, but that should be a thing someday. Yeah. Don't make sense. You're good. The kid out there. Oh, Brian, you're tempting're tempting me dude I'm just saying I know I mean

I just feel I can do everything I have that's so funny dude black belt in podcasting immediately starts talking when somebody else talks nothing you got nothing to say no I'm just saying they got nothing immediately starts talking when somebody else talks. I've been there. Nothing. You got nothing to say?

No, I'm just saying they got nothing. Oh yeah. Empty silence and boringness. Well, let's keep it moving, dude. This one's labeled under need more dick juice.

I don't know if that has anything to do with it. Also thick with squad, thick boy nation posted by minimum sky two, three, zero five. Rogan's my North star. B said my three North stars. When it comes to being gear heads, Joe Rogan, full. Soan's my North Star, B. I said my three North Stars when it comes to being gearheads.

Joe Rogan, full blast. So let's just, nudity is fine around children. It's good. If you want to wear a cock ring, seen that. That's fine too. What? Oh. Man, you can edit out some really disturbing stuff from T-Fat K. Yeah.

This being top of the thing. I don't. Yeah. I don't think you could ever do that to us. And that's not a challenge. Yeah. Yeah. This being top of the thing. I don't think you could ever do that to us and that's not a challenge. This is creepy though. I don't know what I'm talking about. Oh, we could definitely do it. Yeah, probably. Yeah. There's nights where we record

on Monday and it goes up Tuesday. A lot of moments could have been cut out, dude. You know what I mean? For sure. And also too, it's a goal of mine in Raccoon Tweety's now to bring up cock rings somehow, some way, dude. My North Star is you not doing that. We'll just be talking about Justin Roiland

and I'll try to bring up a cock ring. Dicey, dicey. A cock ring, it can't be hard. That's the one rule. It is a one rule. I think we'd have to arrest them, right? I mean, or what happens if they lose their hard-on? Then we'd probably give them a warning.

Then we'd let them loose. These are the conversations that place has. That our politicians are having. That's right. So can they wear a cock ring? Yes. All in favor of the cock ring? Wait, are they asking if politicians can wear cock rings?

Sounds like it. Sounds like what they're doing. If I want to wear a cock ring, I can wear a cock ring, Brandon Chop. JFK. JFK. JFK Shop. Ask not what your ring can do, but how it fits around your cock flaccid. They were cock rings in my day. I know that. I'm like terrible at the accent.

Don't tell me they vibrate now. Boston. Harvard. Well, I mean, yeah, I think that's decoration, right? And it's just clothing, so you can't delineate good so it's like I have that on Instagram where Tarek and I are talking and a guy walks by

terrible body remember when we first started touring together we're in San Francisco you're walking on the street and I'm like what the fuck you haven't seen him I'm like no the guy was naked what did he just say I miss when he said cause his fingers are all weird on his. It's so great.

They just do weird shit and then they zoom in on it. Wait, what the fuck did he just say right now, dude? He was playing again. San Francisco, you're walking down the street. And I'm like, what the fuck? Are you having a seat? I'm like, no. Guy was naked.

What? Are you in the UFC? I think is what he said. Oh, okay. Are you in the UFC? Let's see. It's hard to. Let's see really quick.

Remember when we first started touring together? We're in San Francisco, you're walking down the street and I'm like, what the fuck? Are you having a seat? I'm like, no. The guy was naked. How did you get that? That doesn't make sense. One more time. Guy walks by, terrible body. Remember when we first started touring together and we're in San Francisco,

you're walking down the street and I'm like, what the fuck? Are you having a seat? I'm like, no. The guy was naked. You haven't seen him. I mean, he's a businessman. He's not a huge piece either. Yeah, and you said something. Did Brian understand immediately what he said? Probably. Brian's like kind of a translator.

He's been around shop so much. It's kind of like, what's that Tom Cruise movie with with where they not risky business. Is it worth it? what's that Tom Cruise movie with, uh, with, uh, uh, Phil, uh, where they not risky. No,

it's not worth it. It's not worth it at all. Uh, roadhouse. That's not Tom Cruise. That's not Tom Cruise. It's the one where his brother is autistic and he knows numbers and they go gambling.

Bro. I hate references so much, but please tell us if you're watching from Denver, Colorado, do people talk like this there? It's a Denver is it? Oh yeah

that's where Shouts from Yeah I forgot about that You could be lying about that though too You might be from Africa that one country Great place never been

Let's see Nice outfit Yeah Maybe I did I said sweet dick or something like that Yeah Not big

Nothing was all bunched up They were older guys They were mid-60s. And it wasn't warm out. Everyone else was trying to get to their office, driving suits. And you see this melted cheese with a cock ring walking down. It's so weird, man.

Think about that. Like, what the fuck are you doing? Yeah, it's pretty crazy. I like how they're just showing groins this whole time. Imagine having, let's just say for whatever reason on Twitter, cock ring is trending, right? So we happen to do a show about cock

rings and then having an anecdote about cock rings on top of that. Yeah, where they're filming us. Yeah. No, they're just, there's that under tapestry. In San Francisco, there's an under tapestry where that's that hardcore ramrod shit.

Ain't nothing tender about that motherfucker. Remember that joke? No. The tenderloin ain't nothing tender about that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay? That's that hardcore ramrod shit. Yeah.

You divvy yourself off and you walk into one of them bars and you with them pecs and them shoulders dude your daddy and that's hot daddy yeah i'm gonna keep you you walk in there brian's like you walk into one of those gay bars you know because i'm gonna talk about some gay stuff right you know because it's really funny every time you walk into a gay bar, right? You walk in there with some toe holds on, okay? You're going to get your dick sucked. I'm going to keep you busy.

This is the stupidest bullshit. This is offensive and moronic on a level I don't understand. They keep doing it. Yeah. They will not stop. Everything is about how funny it would be if the. They keep doing it. Yeah. They will not stop. Everything is about how funny it would be if the two of them were gay. Yeah. I don't get it.

Yeah. What's the joke? It's like a weird sort of martial art that they have to like talk and then one of them throws in being gay. It's also, it's very sexually aggressive, you know,

and that's what Brian has to fend off allegations about. So I don't know why he continues to do this yeah i wouldn't i would stop talking about this kind of stuff if there was stuff they just go they don't think about it they don't think about it fair enough that makes sense lady god wow let's we should have we should get a gopro attached to your chest you walk into something like that you're chumming the waters. I wouldn't think that GoPro would want this. This is not an endorsement they're seeking.

Oh, you're chumming the waters, dude. Ball's deep in the water, dude. Chum in the water is how Brian and Brandon would feel if they went to a gay bar. If they actually went to a gay bar in San Francisco, I bet one or two of the guys would be like, that to a gay bar. If they actually went to a gay bar in San Francisco, I bet like one or two of the guys

would be like, that's fucking shop. I just watched T-Mose. Maybe we have some fans. I don't know. They start making fun of us. That'd be amazing. Chum in the waters. I want to start saying that. What is the other one? Name the waters?

Name the waters. Chum in the waters. Wade the waters. Name the waters. Chum and the water. Wade the waters. Name the waters. Chum the water. I mean, Bapa's balls even fish. That's where he's getting the chum the waters. Dude, he is like our new Mark Twain. Really?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. How so? Just, I mean, you don't see him coming and he just goes. You know what I mean? That's right. Took America by storm. Yeah.

Leave me some sweet, sweet sharks swimming around. Looking to chum the waters. Get a taste of this big, sweet sea. Yep. A Boppa one-man show. Like Mark Twain, he goes around the country. Bop in a white suit. He puts on like a stupid... He already has a stupid beard.

He comes in. Instead of like Mark Twain reading short stories, it's Boppa going on stage and just doing like vlog typeain reading short stories it's papa going on stage and just doing like vlog type stuff hey what's up i just drove here you know and he's got like a weird pink boston celtics hat on he's just like yeah man chin was talking to me hanging out tiger in boston with the wife went to go uh skeet shooting and i'm just like what is saw a guy there big butt might be gay might be gay. Might be gay. Did I tell you my wife's Mexican, dude?

She eats so many tacos, man. I ran out of steam on that one. But a true, very realistic to what he does. Never go full papa, baby. True. Might be microdosing or something and you're like, you know what? Whoops, fell into this.

I'm always making fun of Brian, but whoops. Fell into this. Yeah. That's not a good thing. No, I don't want to be that. I don't want to chum the waters in the gay district, dude. You know how it's going to... I like how they show that his dick is basically hard. He has no dick. Oh, yeah, you're right.

Yeah, he wouldn't be... He wouldn't fit in the gay district because he has no penis and balls. Yeah. They wouldn't like his mangine around them parts. No. No. You know how because he has no penis and balls. Yeah. They wouldn't like his mangino around them parts. No. No. Go. You know how it's going to go, brother.

Yeah. Brother. Hey, brother. You better think twice before you walk down that street. Oh, dude. How about I'm taking my kid there on spring break. I'm taking him to SeaWorld on Friday. And I was like, there's nothing to do there.

They got rid of the fucking whales. They didn't get rid of them. Because you know the documentary Blackfish. SeaWorld is not different. There's nothing different about it. It's still there. This is the kernels of the SeaWorld material that we saw. I wish, huh?

Remember there was like maybe seven or eight weeks consecutively where we just talked about blackfish on Temos? Yeah, a lot. What if he did like what if he went to um what if blackfish was actually caused by shab he went to sea world once and that's why the fish started killing themselves because he told like a riff yeah the orca whales were like nah i'm out he kept hitting on the whales i'm a bit on myself i try and like swim out of the tank.

This is it. He's like, look at that orca dick right there, dude. Oh man. It doesn't feel good trying to be shot ever. That was good. That was a good one. Look at that orca dick. Yeah.

Classic Netflix, Netflix riff on you. If I was you guys, I'll be swimming seven times a week. They're like, yeah. I'm trying to get out like of the water so they can't breathe. Yeah. Why are they doing this? The trainers can't figure it out. Oh, my God.

They're all trying to kill themselves after Brennan Shop came once. Fucked them. Yeah. So they made it illegal in captivity to have killer whales. But because the killer whales were born in the SeaWorld district. He killed Killer B. It sounds like the half-baked story where they're talking about the dog. Remember that? Killer B. Yeah. He killed Killer Bee. It sounds like the half-baked story where they're talking about the dog. Remember that?

Killer Bee. Yeah. He killed Killer Bee. You have smoked yourself redacted. District. They can't just throw him into the ocean. They're going to get fucking murked. So they got to still take care of him.

Oh, they will. So now they still have him. So we're still going to see these fucking savages. But the Ted Bundys of the sea. But they don't do shows anymore.'re just like they can't force because they really because they killed trainers right yeah yeah right he doesn't care right he does i love he i love his nonchalance towards like life and murder and death and all that it's refreshing in a way yeah you know he's always like oh your wife died huh because it doesn't seem like like malice or even you know like he doesn't care it's just like a sort of like

his brain doesn't function on that level where he will be feel sad for you or feel empathy he's just kind of he's not a sociopath but he's not not a sociopath i don't know where i'm going yeah i'm going i'm that was a papa special right there, dude. He not only talked about blackfish and killer whales and SeaWorld, he brought up serial killers, dude. Yeah. All his favorite things. Yeah. And his kids. He just didn't say his wife's Mexican. Those

are his North Stars, really. Yeah. Blackfish, serial killers, and gay stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Not Rogan, really. If we're being honest. I like how the beginning was that his North stars, Rogan, and then they started talking about cock rings and fish. Not too good for Rogan.

I like fish. All right, here we go. This one's posted by haphazard. It's called. They are now opening the show with redacted skits. Haphazard. Great guy.

Never met him. My ribs. Gary. Gary again. Yes. Kicked me in the ribs. I told him, told me that. Gary. Gary again? Yes. Kicked me in the ribs. Told me to look. He said,

can you help me look under the couch for my watch? No. Yeah. Pause. What happened? Do you think Gary will be gay?

Oh. Who's Gary? Do you know who Gary is? No, I don't know who Gary is. But you have an inkling. Skits and bits. Yeah. But yeah, probably.

In any facet i say gary will be gay somehow all right you want to find out or a serial killer let's see what are you gonna do hopefully he doesn't come to baltimore he said you're there this weekend yes he says he's gonna come to magubi's dude what if he what if he comes to us what comes out of us i've won sean's service, he said you can handle this way bigger. What if he comes to the batty house? How do you kick? You guys like this and I need you to help me with how to defend against this because

you can you help me because he said something like he's like, I can't bend my knee. I heard it. Can you help me look see if they're my watches on there? So you're you're dumbasses. Where's your watch? So you're like this now like that. Now what? So then he goes like this.

He goes like this. I'm not going to do it at? So you're like this. So now I like that. Now watch. So then he goes like this. He goes like this. I'm not going to do it. Watch. He goes like this. He goes. Pause it. These are so similar to like really bad radio skits.

Like back in the day when they used to have morning radio shows and like the radio guys would get bored and they just film something with their friends. This is what that is. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we've all made bad skits. Oh, many times. Yeah. They're still doing it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we've all made bad skits. Oh,

many times. Yeah. They're still doing it. Yeah. Why? Yeah. What's the point? This is to get the people to come to the Magoobie show.

I think it is like a shameless plug type thing. I don't know. I don't know. I've, you got to understand we're on the outside looking in BB. Right. Hindsight is 2020. Yeah.

Hindsight. Hindsight is 40, 52. This is what I would as Bapa would say I thought that was a real quote sorry I kind of kicked you here's my advice don't look for his watch

dumbass I didn't even kick you think about how hard he kicked me I don't get it even that was too redacted for this show, dude. Probably. Oh, my God. How does that get people to Magoobies? Yeah.

Like, that's not going to make me go to Baltimore. Yeah, I'm not going to go to the asshouse because of that. Okay. We got another haphazard classic haphazard. It's called Eric was unavailable, so they had to call in the big guns to guest host. Chan.

It's called, Eric was unavailable, so they had to call in the big guns to guest host. Chin. Chin. My nose is so dry. Because it's springtime, daddy. I guess so. Hey, Chin, what's up, dude? Not much, dude. Crazy week, huh? Yeah, you know what? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting out with a bang. I would come on with sunglasses, too, maybe. Oh, really? Just to disrespect. You know? I think D'Elia's probably over it. Yeah. He's like. Oh, really? Just to disrespect. You know? I think D'Elia is probably over it. Yeah. He's like, this is what it is.

Yeah. All right. Well, you know how D'Elia likes younglings? Probably makes him feel young. You know what I mean? With sunglasses? Yeah. All right.

Let's see. Let's see. Does that come out at all? I realize that right now, I've never been this close physically to Chen. You're, you're a white, I guess, even though you don't look white.

He does not. You do not look white. I know. That is going deep. Yeah. That's a little red pill. I guess. I don't even know.

That was a crazy way to start. I don't know what to say about that. It's dicey dicey. Naming the waters. Naming the waters. You're white. You're clearly Asian. I don't know what to say about that. It's dicey dicey. Naming the waters. Naming the waters. You're white. Clearly Asian. I don't understand.

Yeah. And then, and then Shab's got on like a childish, like something that looks like he, he made it in recess. It's like a Mr. Roger Down syndrome. Right.

Redacted. That was a good one. Somebody like that one. I think Texas. So I feel like I'm got it. right? Redacted. That was a good one. Somebody like that one. I think Texas. So I feel like I'm got it. Got it. Just the guy walking

in front of it is so awesome. I love the unprofessionalism like it's all about Dan anyways, right? I'm just going to walk in front of them.

They don't even get mad. It'd be cool if one of them did get mad like they had a Christian veil movement. Yeah. What are you doing in

my life? I'm trying to do a podcast with Brendan Sharp here. He's redacted. Get out of my life, Dallas. He actually says that in the thing, because he's like, you're in the way Dallas and me were doing the scene. It's different.

Dallas and me were doing the scene different. You're gaming away with Chin. Chin was there. I told him to play the clean cheap. I went too far there. I got it, got it, got it. Love country music. Yeah, but you're pretty Korean though.

Like your lunch stinks. Culture. Oh, really? He's like, no, no, no. Now they're saying they won't know what kind of Asian he is. They keep saying he's not Asian, but he is Asian. You hear with Dallas, it's different. Racism.

Now they're saying I'm gay. I'm not gay. Get is Asian you hear what Dallas is different racism Madison I'm gay I'm not gay get out of my life Dallas alright here we go you're pretty Korean though like your lunch stinks culture

oh really yeah I mean I gotta wait till Brendan's out of the studio before I can actually it's like hard boiled eggs and kimchi

oh dude it's a fart fest in there it's just fermented foods man it's delicious it's what you like wow delicious and it's good too it's like probiotics in this it's just fermented foods man it's delicious wow and it's good dude it's like probiotics i gotta do that yeah sardines i should bring them on what do you think uh shab eats for lunch i mean we've seen the food truck diary stuff he eats all the fried food and shit shab uh well you got to think what does he wear right he wears what's

trendy what's hot right right so you are what's trendy, what's hot, right? So you are what you eat, right? He's eating hot chicken. Yeah. He comes in with pho. Well, how does he say pho? I guarantee you the first time Brandon saw it, or like many times, he was like, let's go get some pho.

Also, too, I've said that before, Latute, but also he likes to go to food trucks right tacos dude tacos yeah obviously yeah he already told us what he eats yeah good carne asada taquito bitch kimchi does smell bad but it is kind of weird to say to like a korean person that oh yeah your lunch smells yeah i doubt it smells that bad. Yeah. But let's be honest. My favorite kind of comedy, racist, dude. You know what I mean? So he's nailing it for you.

I am Brendan Chobb's audience. Racist and homophobic jokes are my go-to, dude. I'm speaking for the minority here. I'm not, you know, not my real views. Speak your truth. Yeah. Back to Mr. Rogers here. Okay, here goes.

Sardines, dude. When you open the can, sometimes the juices spill out ew that's disrespectful dude sardines and boiled eggs i'm like what are you doing what it's he's not lying that's exactly what i eat for lunch kimchi yeah it's good ken chi but and you like the way it tastes i love the way sardines tasting that tomato sauce wow but if you grew up on that shit it would be good that's the thing like now when you taste that it's like what the fuck yeah like eric grew up on peanut butter burgers peanut butter there you go that's you know but that's the thing like that's um what do you so do you like the taste of kimchi yeah kimchi's amazing yeah it's really good yeah but it does have like a weird smell i mean because it's like fermented or something right eat kimchi on covid dude you're good

it doesn't really bother me unless it's like the older it gets like i yeah i mean i know from like roommates and chicks that had kimchi like it can get pretty dicey dicey yeah i mean we don't want to go down we don't want to go down. We don't want to name the waters as far as bathroom stuff goes. Right. But yeah, it is pretty dicey. When you let me know. Okay. We don't need to get into that. That's what I started with. I don't want to name the water dude. Sardines though. Unforgivable. I just don't like the way they taste. Yeah. Well, that's the number one thing about food. Are sardines Asian? I have no clue. Okay. Sorry. They would be called like something else, sardines Asian? I have no clue. Okay.

They would be called like something else, right? Not going to do that. Yeah. Yeah. We're so done. I'm ridiculous. All right. So this one's posted by haphazard swing and a miss that right wing griff Bapa. Oh, correct.

Correct. Yeah. I do like that. Texas is, you know, it's got a lot of stuff going for it. How do you feel about it? Texas is super liberal, though, Bubba. Don't get it twisted. Texas is more liberal than here.

Look, I like liberal as long as it's about individual rights. What do you think? I like trying to guess what he's going to say. Oh, yeah, me too. I love this. And it's like, so he's saying that Texas is super is super liberal the way he said it it sounds very serious so if it's a setup for a bit i'm impressed i'm gonna say i'm actually impressed maybe he's making or he's being serious he's making the point that texas is kind of a purple state now yeah or he's gonna shit on austin

but again i'm as i'm always gonna guess guess somehow, yeah, Texas is going to be gay, right? That's my guess. Honestly. I mean, you know, it's so funny. I was wrong about Gary.

Yeah, no, but he did have to bend over. So there's some sort of, you know, that's a stretch. Yeah, it's a stretch, but you know,

you're, I'm just saying like, it's a stretch to telepathically guess something also, you know, but what's it called? It's funny how Bop, Bop his body tenses up when he's probably going to do a joke. Like, Oh, it's a tell like in poker, you know what I mean?

Okay. That's an interesting. Yeah. Okay. He's just like, it's about to happen. It's about to happen. I feel like that sometimes making jokes. Well, yeah.

You know, my favorite, someone pointed this out to me once the dog meme where the dog tells a joke and he's like, Oh yeah. Waiting for the reaction. It's too true for me. That's my tell. All right. Here we go.

It's going to be different. That's for sure. My problem with my problem with liberal is when I hear liberal now, what do I think about? I think about this, this gender stuff. I think about keeping my children out of school for two years. I'll never forgive them for that.

It pushed me over. You understand? It kept me busy. It kept me busy. I'm the one that's supposed to keep you busy. I'm going to keep you busy. My kids weren't busy. They were at home.

They weren't busy at all. I had to see them. And they look at me funny now. I had to light them up. I had to see them and they look at me funny now I had to light them up I had to light them up B they wouldn't wear my toe holds my kids don't have $800 to buy flippers

sandals flippers they're my slipper flippers being conservative the abortion thing is the tricky thing for me that's the only area I don't know anybody

who fucks with that abortion law but I'm saying that there are a lot of people but for me it's like so only area. I don't know anybody who fucks with that abortion law. But I'm saying that there are a lot of people, but for me, it's like... So that was a riff? He didn't even say anything. Yeah, I don't even know. It doesn't make sense.

Swing and a miss on that right-wing grift. Oh, so they're basically saying, like, he was trying to say, like, it's too liberal for me, but he didn't really follow it up with anything. Oh, like he's just saying

he's conservative. Yeah. Ah, whatever. All right, let's see. All right, Papa. Steven Crowder saw that. He's like, I'm all right. Yeah, I don't want that. Yeah. Ah, whatever. All right. Let's see. All right, Papa. Steven Crowder saw that. He's like, I'm all right. Yeah.

I don't want that. I don't want that. All right. Another haphazard here. It's called Mr. Triggered has a solution. Let's see. My doctor was like, you know what? Let's keep this.

Remember, it just started out with a word that like it's impossible to know. I think he's saying doctor or adopted or something. My doctor was like, you know what? A docker my doc it was like you know remember i don't know dock it one more court docket let's see my doc it was like you know remember um uh ace ventura when they find out that courtney cox used to be a man and everybody starts throwing up. Yeah. Great scene. I would like it if they were like really woke, a woke version of Papa and Brian. The one dicey scene from Ace Venturi. He's like Gracie.

Yeah. Maybe, but they've gone that way though. Right. I think they've gone either yeah they've gone both i guess you're right i just can't think of any off the top of my head it's a pendulum b it swings back and forth b yeah b yeah but you can imagine if you were transgender what that would make you feel like right so it's like don't go to comedy movie

i'm just saying that don't go go to a comedy movie. What? He sounded like Crystal, yeah. It would make you feel like, right? So it's like, don't go to a comedy movie. Don't go to a comedy movie. Lord. Do you know what make life rips, dude? You didn't go to the movie, dude. You wouldn't get offended, dude.

So it's like, don't go to a comedy movie. Do you know what my joke is? Fuck you, dude. Don't go to a comedy movie. I'm just saying that nowadays we I do with my life go to comedy movies perfect perfect advice go to comedy movies it's like don't go to comedy movies

I want my phone to say that yeah don't go and go yeah they're both are funny actually go to comedy movies it's funnier don't go to comedy movies

go to comedy movies yeah alright let's move to the next one now. I'm a deck D. But the grand, y'all welcome. Yeah. This one's called Boppa Knows Nike, posted by Dangerous Design 507. It is out.

People go, uh-oh. And I'm telling you right now in boardrooms, they're going, hey, guys, what are we going to do about this shit? Just like with tobacco, just like with all these things. all these things i don't think so b well it's already happening and it has happened nike tuna there's so many examples we're not being serious we enjoy riffing and i wonder if he is doing that at this point yeah but when we're like check it out and don't do that b we're joking yeah he seems dead serious i'm worried that we'll get to the point where we're dead seriously

being like B and yeah, blog, bus and Netflix and all that stuff. I have a problem with that already. Yeah, we might already be there. You don't have a problem with that yet?

I probably do. Dude, there's so many times where I want to say something's great and I say Netflix. I swear to God. I think that's okay. I mean,

at work, I did go to science. I told you about that, right? I was like, that doesn't make sense. And I was serious. I wasn't trying to make anyone laugh

and they were like, I say a blog blockbuster and netflix and then there's been at least three times with people close to me that i had to explain to them blockbusters bad netflix is good because i've been doing it so often i like explaining to people the shop stuff because i feel so dumb when i do it yeah and i'm like i wonder what they're thinking it makes me laugh let's see. Samples, you're just off on this. You're off on this.

Bring up Nike. No, because that was the thing with Nike. That's why the NBA players sat out. Because they're like, you're going to use

the NBA players, the Masters of Business Administration players. I understand, but they're not using child labor like that. know report nike has strongly denied the claims in the past i live in included a shocking photo 12 year old pakistani boy song and i get strongly denied these claims suggesting the company has little control

over the subcontracted factories but they got involved in it and they're very and now they're very very uh very adamant about making sure this doesn't happen. That's news to me. And I know Nike. Put your shoes, Mr. Schaaf. Where's Peñola? I'm on shop side, dude. I'm wearing Nikes right now, baby.

Oh, yeah? Yeah. Nikes are good shoes. You got Vans on. You black buzzer bee. I'm sorry. All right, so the next one is called, bought his mother-in-law a house, talked to Rogan,

wants to go to the mothership and the store sucks. All the hits in one clip posted by haphazard. Nice. I was like, where are we going to go? So I was like, there's Texas. I was like, you go, I'll go, man. Cause he's like me. It's he's like, you go, I'll go.

You know that. Well, Adam was like, what's tough? Because like, he's like, like both of us, we have our networks here. We have our production, all that stuff. And I was like, yeah, you're gonna sell. I was like, I'll figure that out. Both, both like both of us, we have our networks here. We have our production, all that stuff. And I was like, yeah, you're going to sell. I was like, I'll figure that out. Both. Both.

Both of us. Who is he talking about? Adam Egan, I think. Okay. Let's watch the clip again really quick. Go, uncle. You know that. Well, Adam was like, what's tough?

Because like, he's like, like both of us, we have our networks. Both of us. Like both of us. Like both of us. Is he talking about both of us? Or is he saying like both of us? Both of us is in like, who's both of us. Like both of us. Is he talking about both of us or is he saying like both of us? Both of us as in like who's both of us? Yeah.

He's hanging out with Balthasar Getty or some sort of Greek person. Balthas. You know, production and all that stuff. Great guy. Great guy. Never met him. And I was like, yeah, you're going to sell that. He's like, I'll figure that out.

He's like, you can figure that out. I'm like, I can figure it out. It's such a pain in the butt, my mother-in-law house. I can figure all that out if it made sense, dude. He's like, well can figure that out. I'm like, I can figure it out. It's such a pain in the butt, my mother-in-law house. I can figure all that out if it made sense, dude. He's like, well, it makes sense, right? As we're going through. Don't say it because if you do

it, I'm going to do it. I'm looking for it. Is he saying, is Brian saying he's going to buy a house too? I think they're talking about moving to Texas. Oh, the Austin grift. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. Yep. Another classic, dude. Let's see here. I cannot listen to another podcast of you and anyone you've had at the club, the mothership, and how fun it is. I know.

It makes me want to jump off a bridge. Yeah, because you want to go there and hang out like we used to. Yeah. So you never, nobody really fucking. That was our light. That was our nightlife. That was our nightlife.

In the parking lot of the comedy store. Gone. That's gone. Yeah. And, and, and it's, it's reviving in,

in Austin. Well, and they, they sound like Jim Baker and Tammy Faye or whatever talking about building a place it's coming back we're almost where we were

we're building a place where every comedian all a thousand of them we can get in there and it's the best the best there is that we have you know there's a lot of baddies there and addies and everything. And it's just like it used to be with father Joe Rogan and everything was perfect. And we would just be really bad all the time.

But people would say we're funny, even though we're not. Dude, the only thing that I love about the Joe Rogan hate is how short he is. That shit makes me laugh every time. Yeah. But Joe Rogan is awesome, dude. I'd me. Yeah. I like Joe.

He's a good host. I like his MMA stuff. Yeah. Yeah. I can't wait to go, dude. I'd me. Yeah. I like Joe. He's a good host. I like his MMA stuff. Yeah. Yeah. I can't wait to go to the comedy mothership. Would you go? The comedy. If I was in Austin, I'd check it out to see it. Yeah. I mean, how could we not? I mean, don't make sense if we don't. Doesn't make sense. Yeah. We won't be

different. Maybe it's different than Dallas. I'd rather go to Dallas. Really? Yeah. This one's called Bapa, you're an imbecile posted by dangerous design. Five zero seven. Oh, humanely sourced cobalt. Like everything else.

It's good for business. Apple does it. You shame these companies. It's like lime caught tuna. Same idea. You know, all that. There's a way to do shame.

What companies are, what world are you living in? I, Apple hasn't changed at all. Yes, they have. What are you talking about? China?

Yes. No, not. Yes, they have their What are you talking about? In China? Yes. No, not China. Yes, they have. Their factories? Yes. They've increased pay. China. It's still slave labor, even with Nike.

No, no, no. Apple. So what they were doing at the Apple factories was they were waking them up whenever they had an order at all. It's funny that he was like railing against the ESG thing and now he's talking about how Apple's great. Yeah. He's like,

they can't, they're, they're too focused on being woke, you know, but I'm going to keep you busy here a little bit. They are like, they are actually really great. Yeah.

You know, they treat their employees super well. You know, what's hilarious is that we talk shit about them just riffing with each other and it's kind of blockbuster. Right. But then when they start talking about real things, you're like,

Oh, this sucks too. Like what do they do? Everything sucks. Yeah. I mean, there are times when we really enjoy what it is. I can't remember any of them off the top of my head. Yeah. Oh, Howie Mandel.

Howie Mandel was funny. You know, just getting riffed on. Maybe if they had like a nice little fusion of the both, right? Like they're talking about Apple and Nike running sweatshots, but they also throw in like, uh, I don't know. Maybe they're gay every so often. You know what I mean?

Well, I'm going to like them. I'm going to light them up, be, you know, every time, but I prefer this. I actually liked them talking about Apple more.

I'm just pointing. I was pointing out the hypocrisy. Oh, these two guys. Yeah. One, one hand there, you know,

you know, you know, you get it. Oh yeah. We get it. We get it. What are we doing? I don't have the best. Oh, yeah. We get it. We get it. Yeah. What are we doing here? I don't have the best brains.

They don't have the best brains for the arts. Yeah. All hours of the day. So they started killing themselves. Literally jumping out of windows. Oh, 100%. Then they put nets down. 100%.

Then that became news. And Apple went, that's not happening. You guys cannot do this. They need breaks. They need this. They need that. They need this. And that's what happening. You guys cannot do this. They need breaks. They need this. They need that. They need this. And that's what happened.

Okay? You can absolutely, and we do. Nike still does slave labor. No, no, no. Nike's been so much better about it because Nike. Fear factor, dude. Nike still does slave labor. Fear factor, bro.

Joe Rogan told us about this. He warned us about Nike. Okay? So, Brian, you don't know what you're talking about, B. You're blockbuster. I don't know what I'm talking about. You use the marketplace.

People will not buy if you educate them. That's what you do. So you're saying with, so with the iPhones, you just think people aren't aware of it. If Brian only knew about the babies on their backs with mothers going through cobalt mines, dude, if he just knew, if he was more woke like

Shab is. With babies on their back. Yeah. Babies on their back. Yeah. Baby backers. You black ones. Nike, not Netflix. We got a nice little mini vlog from Mr. Brennan Shab posted by previous shard nine, nine,

three, nine. It's called Bapa reassures his seven supporters that he does. Okay. That's a, you know, right. His seven supporters that he doesn't cancel slash miss shows,

which he does regularly by canceling slash missing shows. That's a good title. Here we go. Louisville. What is up? I was supposed to see you guys this Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and due to a schedule conflict that was brought to my attention very recently, I can't make it to Louisville.

Pause it. Yeah. He's wearing that ridiculous sweater again and the things. He's driving to Louisville to wearing it. He looks like the Pied Piper, like the, what would the Pied Piper would dress like nowadays? Yeah.

That's what I think. You should be playing a flute. Well, you mean he's driving to the studio to record with Chris D'Elia and, uh, chin. Oh, right.

I mean, before Louisville. Yeah. They say Nashville. Yeah. Reschedule. I will be back out there. I never cancel.

I never miss shows. Adam, the club owner. There's so many clips of you doing that, though. Yeah. But she doesn't, though. But she doesn't, though. Adam, the club owner, has some of my favorite clubs. By Adam.

Tacoma, Bricktowntown spokane fort wayne appleton uh the new tulsa uh club opening up soon so i absolutely adore those clubs and uh louisville don't worry he's like he's like you know uh appleton w. They just start naming things that don't make sense. The Apple Store, Kitchen Table, Forkspoon, Rock, Wives Mexican, all these places. I'm going to come there again. Whoa, CT.

We get a new date on the books. I apologize to all the fans out there in Louisville, but I will see you guys soon. All right. Spider-Man glasses look like a villain in Spider-Man. He's got those with the Mr. Octopus, Dr. Octagon. I call him Mr. Octopus.

Yeah. All right. So this one's posted by minimum sky 2305. It's called mouth issues. No, no, no. Listen, the first of all, Google is a huge metric,

huge metric. Huge. It's a search engine. Yeah. So, so things like prejudice jokes things like the n-word all of those things there are ways to measure these things what people search for what people the kind of words people use and stuff like that way down night and day literally i think there's fear of like this centralized bureaucracy that's going to take over everything that's more what it is start like if you're if you if you tell us have you know hotels

the big secret with hotels my friend used to manage big hotels and dude his mouth is like a physical representation of his text messages you know just bad he's rolling right now he He's on E. Yeah. That's what it kind of looks like, right? He gets like mouth. The mouth locks up. Yeah. It could be that.

Or maybe the effect of drinking a lot of alcohol, coffee, Diet Coke, Kratom, all at once is the same as you'd get from doing a little bit of Molly. Yeah. I mean, that's what I did when I did ecstasy. I couldn't control my tongue. Right. There you go. And it went to places I when I did Ecstasy. I couldn't control my tongue. Right. There you go. And it went to places I didn't like. Just kidding.

Okay, here we go. He said that suicide's a huge thing. So people die on the hallowed ground. Get that out of there. Yeah, man. Well, anyway, we've gotten way too into... I mean, as long as they... That Pro Shops should call them and be like, listen, you're wearing the hat too long.

They should demonetize them for that. Bass Pro Shops is like, can we do a copyright claim real quick? Can we do a copyright strike, please? No more. Ben Pixels, please help us. This is chum in the water. As long as they stop endorsing slavery, I'm good.

That guy's tough, though. i need my i need my cobalt you absolutely will get our cobalt from keep you busy 100 that's not what brian can say on the podcast but what he will stop saying he's so boring oh my god his tongue's keeping him busy dude yeah is the whole club to be his tongue out? I think so, yeah. Wow. Medical clinics. I need humane working conditions. I need all those things. You can...

Hold on. They did this in China. So Apple, Apple, Nike, they've all done this. When you see that people are behaving badly and these cobalt mines are controlled by essentially warlords, everything else. It's good for me. Oh, honey, look, oh honey look look shop look at what he's doing he's he's doing the tongue thing look we came that's what we came to see i read about this in biology yeah dad oh he's so redacted

it says not to feed the shop why oh well he might choke on it because he's that stupid you can only eat during food truck diaries We should have come here during food truck diaries. Oh, Dad, I wanted to give him dick juice. I wanted to see the shop show. This is just that T-Fat K thing with that weirdo that talks about China. He just goes. He just goes, Dad. Apple does it.

You shame these companies. It's like lime caught tuna. Same idea. What they were doing at the apple factories was they were waking them up whenever they had an order at all hours of the day so they started killing themselves literally jumping out of windows then they put next then that became uh news and apple went that's not happening you guys cannot do this they need breaks they need this they need that they need this and that's what happened

okay you can absolutely better about it because nike got exposed you used the marketplace why is he getting upset because he knows what it's like to see mistreated workers he himself doesn't pay them and he pees in front of them in the sink. Gag, gag, gag, gag, gag, gag, gag, gag. Zing. People will not buy if you educate them. That's what you do. So you're saying change. I guarantee it already is changing. What's so funny? He just, after that point,

he put the big chew thing in his mouth. Yeah. Ha, ha. He has to do it before he talks. It's like the conch in Lord of the the flies because you cannot you know once this shit is out people go uh-oh and i'm telling you right now in boardrooms they're going hey guys what are we going to do about this shit just like with tobacco just like with all these things i don't think so b well it's already happening and it has happened nike tuna there are so many and they're very and now they're very very uh very adamant about making sure that our wood from say indonesia

there are so many uh regulations on whether or not that that that's all you want to do business with the united states, that's what goes on. What are you doing? For example. Why? The standard of living has grown. Why does he do this, dude? I don't understand it. It's too long. Yeah, this is way too long.

Too much tongue, man. Yeah. Let's go to the next clip. All right. We got the last clip for today, dude. This last one's called, Did Shab Copy Rogan's Origin Story? Oops.

King Demo is the poster. And then into comedy, which is an insane arc. Insane. But I always talk to guys who played football about this, and I've talked to you about it as well. It gives you a baseline of toughness and intestinal fortitude that will pay dividends for the rest of your life. Right? Yeah.

The work ethic. And then also I think the social IQ, because all right, we got to guess what else Bob is going to add. Yes. What is it? Cause, cause Corolla has said what football gives you uh first of all

what's intestinal fortitude i think he's like yeah i don't know i think he's just saying like guts guts okay maybe a longer way of saying guts yeah um like you're not gonna shit yourself maybe okay is that what he means i don't know i have no clue the two words together just rocked my world they're both like jocks you know corolla football player boxer or whatever um so he said that's that's what he said you get what is shab gonna say you know what i think he's gonna say that he's gay no i think he's gonna say something about having like a big dick oh it'd be funny if he just goes eight inches eight inches let's see um i think maybe he'll bring up uh rogan's kickboxing and his ufc right right right oh yeah you're you're actually making a real guess off the title which is smart i'm redacted yeah either one ready for the rest of your life right yeah the work ethic and then

also i think the social iq because I grew up in locker rooms. So my roommates in college were from Fifth Ward, Houston, or South Central Los Angeles. So in order to fit in with those guys, then those were my best friends. So if I can make them laugh, I can make everybody laugh. Yeah, I never really think about that part. I don't believe either of them. I don't think he made his friends laugh, and I don't think he made everybody laugh.

No chance. Laughing at him. Yeah. They're probably laughing the way we're laughing. Not at the intelligence or the cleverness of the bit, but at the insane amount of times he's said that he's gay. Yeah. To think that would be funny.

They're like, Sean, we don't laugh at you in any facet, man. Yeah, in any facet. Were you living room funny? Like, were you high school funny? I was would be funny. They're like, Sean, we don't laugh at you in any facet, man. Yeah, in any facet. Were you living room funny? Like, were you high school funny? I was locker room funny. I was, I would make

my friends laugh in the locker room. I got talked into by a good buddy of mine, my friend Steve Graham, who I'm still good friends with. He talked me into it. Him and my friend Ed Shorter.

They just, they talked me into it. Ooh! Classic. Yes. him and my friend Ed Shorter they just they talked me into it classic yes damn that was a long episode there yeah well I hope you enjoyed it

see you next week bye bye