10 Minutes of Schaub - Brendan Schaub HAS A VERY LOW HEART RATE | 10 Minutes of Schaub #72

Episode Date: October 21, 2023

JOIN OUR PATREON! https://www.patreon.com/raccoontweeties Join the discord! https://discord.gg/z7eSGTE6hG

Old homeless ain't my heartbreak Lies from my Martian lips Seconds after I said that Reddit posted my clip But my brain was made small By Yanda Diyalovsky my clit but my bread was made small by Yadav Yalovsky we dig in this generation

like Kobayashi won't you help to sing these songs of Crater cause all I do is lie Promocal shout Promocal shout

Emancipate yourself from friend and mockery You can joke but he's that nice No! No! Oh! Axe J is just a part of it. I used to sell comic books. Won't you have to sing? These songs are great, because all I do is lie. Promo coach out.

Promo coach out. Watch it. Promocal child. Promocal child. Watch it. Stop at my favorite time of the week. When you get near, pop up, try to speak. Release surprises today. You better act gay or watch 10 minutes of show. Welcome back to T-Mose. Thanks for tuning in.

Big news in the T-MOS world. We have a hotline, a T-MOS hotline. So if you want to call and leave us voicemails, you can dial 775-557-T-MOS, which is 775-557-T-MOS. 866-7 is T-MOS. For those of you that aren't numbers guys. Also in New Orleans, I'm going to be in New Orleans coming up.

On the 24th, I'll be in Halland Wolf. And on the 22nd, I'll be at the Ohio Lounge, Toronto. I know you're going to be somewhere. I have October 15th at the Ontario Improv in Ontario, California. And then November 4th in Washington, D.C., doing an ECMO live show. Nice. And lastly, I'm wearing purple for Domestic Violence Month. Domestic Violence Month because domestic violence is blockbuster. But that's not why you're here.

You're here to watch 10 minutes of shop. So play the chin clip. Start the timer now. All righty. So this first one's posted by thunderous queef. It's called a Bapa just goes tied with lamps Armstrong for lowest resting heart rate and takes the crown for not using EPO. Let's see. Yeah, it's... I just go. Do you know what your...

I just go. Okay. All the testing, I just go. Okay, well. I know. Anywhere. What's your resting heart rate? Four.

It beats four times. This isn't even a flex. When I was fighting, I think when I was fighting, Mitrione went to the doctor because you have to do all the – You're dead. Yeah, he was like, you're basically dead. No. My resting heart rate was 37.

37. 37 or 38? I'm just guessing. No, it was like 38 or – it was right below 40, and the guy is like – and he worked with Lance Armstrong. He's like, you're tied for Lance Armstrong for the best wrestling heart rate. Come on.

That is so crazy. Your heart was working so good. Yeah, and I was on EPO, so I take the crown. Real quick, real quick, let me ask you a question. What's up? Actually, no, you asked me a question. Damn, I was going to say, ask me what my heart rate is and then immediately say eight inches i thought you're gonna say how many chicks do you fuck oh no no no i'm not gonna attack you that early it is like a fucking puzzle dude to know whether the eight inches or how many chicks you

fuck yeah who gets there first you know who who gets i'm trying to think of a way to mess up well who gets the egg yeah that's not even a saying well you know whenever he gets asked the question his heart's fucking steady dude he's not he's not rising a heartbeat for anything and you know why because he just goes and there you go see when you work as a team you can get there so much easier yeah i mean that's just so funny it's classic shab he said he literally says i just go three or four times at the beginning of the clip as if we didn't already know that or believe him. He could show, don't tell. Yeah.

And we would know that. Well, I just go is like a loading screen on a video game for him. This is like, I just go, I just go, I just go. And then he loads up the next thing. Yeah, yeah. He's like a gun full of redacted bullets. Yeah. All right, let's keep it blockbuster right now, dude.

This is posted by Julian Calabasas. It's called Fat Patrick Only Eats 1,300 Calories Per Day. Whoa. No, wait, but how many calories do you eat a day? You probably rest at, you probably fucking burn 3,500 calories a day just sedentary. I probably eat 1,300 calories a day. Get the fuck out of here. I don't eat until...

I haven't eaten... I won't eat today until when we get done with hair, so I won't eat until usually about 1 o'clock. My stomach hurts. You have to pause. My stomach hurts from laughing. I just realized... It's just so low.

That's insanely low. That doesn't make any sense. Yeah. There's just... The lie there is out of control. That might be the craziest lie. He's done with that. Did that go viral on Chang's?

I might 400 likes damn because that's really crazy. That's like what he two sandwiches. Yeah, I only had three sandwiches today. Yeah, well, you're over shop, but also a rotisserie chicken and five buffalo wings.

Okay, yeah, and three protein shakes there. I mean, well, 1300 food truck diaries.. Okay. Yeah. And three protein shakes. There, I mean, what? 1,300 calories. Were we on Food Truck Diaries? Jesus Christ. Yeah, no, there's no way, dude. I mean, anyone who's ever looked at the back of a, like a thing you heat up or something

you get for the grocery store, there are, a lot of them are close to that. So this guy's like not eating at all, really. How many calories are you supposed to, oh, you don't know. I assume you don't know. How many calories are you supposed to? Oh, you don't know. I assume you don't know. How many calories are you supposed to eat in a day? It's some math equation. I'm not a numbers guy, but you're supposed to like eat your weight or something like that. Fucking time a thousand, fucking 1K grand thousand, eat your weight.

I'm going to look it up. I know that for a fact, if there's Cheetos being thrown around your crib, you're not going to be eating that low of calories. You know what I mean? So the first Google search says 2,500 for men. So Shab is eating not even half of what he's supposed to. He's there's just, he's a giant. What is he doing?

What are we doing here? Out of control. Let's see. Eat to usually about one o'clock. And usually I just eat one meal. I'm done. I mean, I, I, I agree with that. I eat one meal a day. Usually, I just eat one meal and I'm done. I mean, I agree with that. I eat one meal a day.

Do you eat more than one meal a day? Yeah. But I mean, there is that whole like, what is it called? What's the new trend where you only eat one meal? The nomad or whatever. Something like you eat a lot. But those people eat a lot in that one meal. He's just saying he only eats 1,300.

At the risk of sounding like a valley girl, I don't like putting labels on things. I just eat one meal a day. I'm not a lot in that one meal. He's just saying he only eats 1,300. At the risk of sounding like a valley girl, I don't like putting labels on things. I just eat one meal a day. I'm not a fucking nomad, dude. I'm not a Tibetan. What is it called? I don't remember. I don't even know.

I know keto where you eat nothing but taquitos, right? Maybe it's OMAD, one meal a day. Oh, OMAD, maybe that. Something like that. Oh, that's why I do it. Oh, I know what I'm thinking of. Fasting. Intermittent fasting Maybe that's something like that. Oh, that's why I do. Oh, I know it. I'm thinking of fasting, intermittent fasting. That's a religious thing.

And people are doing that because there is an attack in the Middle East right now. Let's see here. This one is posted by that's a prom. Oh, that's a problem. But prom. It's called I think it's peer pressure B. And I didn't even notice this, even though I saw this post on Twitter. But to go ahead and read what Brendan shot,

but dude, I was peer pressured. Oh shit, dude. I didn't notice that until he said, I think it's peer pressure to be. Wow. I was peer pressure to hit Luigi.

It was to make matters worse. Add in a fancy silk shirt. And yeah, dude, the Legion of Skanks T-Fat K episode live from Skank Fest NYC is available on all platforms. It's also available on our Patreon. Oh yeah. Check out our Patreon.

We reviewed it. Yeah. The episode, full episode. Yes. Yeah. I mean, even Brennan's Twitter and he's a handler. Pure pressure.

Somebody's got to step in. Yeah. He has no friends and be like, hey, man. But I guess Twangs people are just watching it. They like have, everyone is monitoring him, so the second he does something wrong, got him. Yeah, even Apple's autocorrect was like, I mean, pure and pressured are both words.

Yeah. Nobody's ever made that mistake before? You know, that is a crazy mistake. Yeah. Maybe not. Well, I've always known it's peer pressure. I was expecting peer pressure, like P-E-A-R. Oh, just spelling it wrong.

Yeah. No, he went full redact. Always expected. This one's posted by Corpse of Tank. Oh, that's a dark name. Tank the dog. Ever heard of him? Oh, geez. Yeah. This one's posted by corpse of tank oh that's a dark name tank the dog ever heard of him yeah um this one's called story change move moves shade from barn door to his father-in-law let's see uh here's the thing about installs follow the instructions follow the instructions

and use the pieces that they gave you my thinking was was, I'm just going to use the stock parts if I can, like the screws and the certain bolts and stuff, because it's there for a reason. And no, they give it to you for a reason. They definitely give you the parts because they know what they're doing. So it took me twice as long because I installed it, took it off because I didn't use the parts, then reinstalled it.

But you learn as you go. You learn as you go. One week later. I installed my intake on my truck with my father-in-law. And he's very safe and he does everything by the book and I don't. But he was like, I think we should use this part. I'm like, no, it came with these parts, dude. He's like, yeah, but let's just use this part because it came with the truck. I'm like,

there's a reason it came with these parts. And so we installed it and then it wouldn't fit. He's like, oh, I have to take it all apart and put in their parts. And I was like, yeah. Would you let Schaub work on your car, your truck? I mean, if I get to meet him, yeah. But what if he like messes

up? I understand. Yeah, I want to meet Schaub too. But what if he like really messes up your car? I mean, I I get to meet him, yeah. But what if he like messes up? I understand. Yeah, I want to meet Chop too. But what if he like really messes up your car? I mean, I think that I'll financially recover, dude. So you meet him. He messes up your car. You're like very excited to meet him. Then you have to get your car towed probably to the shop to get it fixed. Yeah.

Or you have to fix it yourself. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. But either way, I feel like he was peer pressured into fucking up the car by his father-in-law. His father-in-law

went out to his truck and looked at his truck and he was like, oh really dude? Are you more of like a jazz guy or more like by the book guy? If it's coming to building stuff, I probably will read the instructions because i just don't have faith in myself to do it because i'm kind of redacted when it comes to

putting things together i'm gonna best of both worlds be right yeah like i'll see all the parts and be like i could do this and then just know that i could do it and then be like let's just see what they said though and then read the instructions well you're pretty good you're pretty handy you have the best brains. These chairs, he didn't read any kind of manual and they work. Yeah, but they also look like they're going to fall apart

at any moment. Every time I see them, I'm like, today might be the day. Well, they have none of the stuff that comes with it plugged in. Yeah. But there's just no space for that.

So, I mean, we didn't even need to do that. Yeah. Yeah, we have no longer accepted guests on the podcast because of these chairs. The chairs are our guests. Yeah. We don't matter. But it's been a lightweight weekend. Yeah, we have no longer accepted guests on the podcast because of these chairs. The chairs are our guests.

We don't matter. But it's been a lightweight weekend. Chang's a lot of reheats. So with that being said, we got Icarus Lives posting the most fabricated story ever told. Let's see here. I grew up huge into comics. I collected it. I used to sell them as a kid.

It never happened. Who do you sell to? People or online? Just people. Online, you know, I'm 37. So online them as a kid. It never happened. Who did you sell to? People or online? Just people. Online, you know, I'm 37, so online wasn't a thing. So I opened up a little comic shop in my mom's closet. It's totally made up. Had all my comics there.

You had friends come over? Random people would walk in our house, and my mom made me shut it down. Pure fiction. How is the closet? Is it on display, or do you have them organized? Everything was on display and organized. Wrong. Well, I had it like on in those vanilla, you know, those things they look like.

Yes. I just had them all in there. Accordion envelopes. Yeah, I had all the accordion envelopes, the vanilla folders. And I had all the characters lined up and I had posters on the wall. It's a total fabrication. How big is this closet? I mean, I was young, man. You know, eight or nine. So I thought it was huge.

But enough for like grown men and kids to come in. It never happened. My mom's like, we can't have fucking strangers in the house. Not a chance. How did people know that this was happening? Because I stood outside and had signs. It's an urban legend that never happened. Positive.

Selling condoms. Shob's like the only dude who could be in just a normal conversation and it feels like a deposition. Yeah. Because he just, he lies and then he keeps going. He just goes and it's like nobody

made you say any of this. You just decide, you have to defend yourself now because your storytelling is so wild i believe him yeah i don't think he did it all the time i think he did it one time and his mom's like what the and put a kibosh on it you know what i mean i don't believe any of it i think it happened one time it wasn't even an old man because you know keep in mind did he bring up the old man shop did right yeah shop said something about grown-ups in his house.

And grown-ups in the house. I don't believe that. But I think maybe he was like selling some comic books, dude. And his homies were like, what? This is cool. Because they've never experienced a store by themselves. So, you know, it was like that. It is hard to make it make sense, but I'm trying.

I feel like now you're in a deficit. I'm trying my hardest. You're like, no, no, no. Listen, trying. I feel like now you're in a deficit. I'm trying my hardest. You're like, no, no, no. Listen, no. I shop was a child businessman. Okay. He set up a whole shop. His friends came over. Another thing too, is that it's work comics, dude.

He's trying to be a comic. You know what I mean? So he's trying to make it funny. It's just not funny. Cause it's like, you came at me hard with something that might be real. You know, that would be very interesting if it was real. Like there's a thing about comics that have real things happen to them and they deduce it to something more palatable and interesting and funny, you know, and he's trying to do

that, but probably about something that never fucking happened. You know what I mean? So you think the story is just like the idea of him selling comic books was funny. He was like, maybe I can make a joke out of it. But then instead of that, it becomes even funnier because it's so ridiculous and Glassman makes him look stupid. Because only one can do it, dude. Only Schaub can be Schaub like this.

Yeah. Yeah, fair enough. And then, you know, I don't know. Rick Glassman being so inquisitive is kind of like a douching Schaub in a way. It's like,

oh yeah, stop asking me. Can you cut out the part about the comic books, dude? That's Glassman. Yeah, Glassman schtick,ick i think a little bit neurotic or just like sort of messing with people yeah books in my mom's closet yep we got you and did you sell any oh yeah man really oh yeah wrong were there older men that came over yep not this time it never happened they bought them bought them. But you could tell they were just

there probably to fondle me, but not a chance. Okay, well, that's a joke. Okay, yeah. I don't believe any of it. I take back everything I said. Well, that is like Shab, I think, trying to land a zinger. Yeah. So I don't know if that's necessarily a lie. That's clearly he's kidding.

When joking about admitting to being molestedested fondling is the funniest word okay you know you fondle some vinyls to look for a cheap one you know what i mean you don't fondle kids nobody does that well that is a saying but i agree that fondle is probably the least horrifying way of saying it yeah yeah do you really believe that oh yeah because they didn't know much about the comics. It's just dudes coming in. They don't care a shit about comics.

They're just trying to fuck a kid. I mean, a temp was made. Like the cheapest one for like 25 cents. Did you think something was weird at the time? And then later on you were called? Yes. So like my spidey senses went off. So you did even that?

Stranger danger. It never happened. Did you make money? Oh, yeah. Not a chance. So you're a little entrepreneur now, and now instead of comics, you're selling CBD. Sure.

Is it possible this story is true? Okay, I don't believe him at all. I want to put that, I mean mean probably people tuned out when they heard that I believed it, but for those of you that remain that was ridiculous. Yeah, I take back everything I said. Hey, you know you have to watch the whole clip dude. Watch till the end.

Yeah, I tried for all those shop lovers out there that watches. I tried. All right. So this one's posted by haphazard. Give you know, give him a good thanks to have our guy. One of our guys. He's got orange chicken all over his apron, dude. This one's called Annie apologized

for the truck walk. We haven't watched this one. Have we? I don't think I don't know. Let's see. Beotic relationship. Yeah, then then Annie Letterman people think me and her hate each other and what's funny and you know i'm sure it was by design is my first set it went me than her and i have to bring her on so you know i'm sure it's by design and i think they thought rumor has it brennan chops would

follow that that's hilarious i mean that's that's legitimately funny if he did that no i'm just kidding it's a joke i made oh man i just made that up right now damn well that's legitimately funny if he did that. No, I'm just kidding. It was a joke I made. Oh, man. I just made that up right now. Well, that's funny for you. Good job. I sold comic books in my mom's house. Yeah.

But what you made up is funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Comic book thing is kind of just randomly strange, a random strange lie. It's me than her, and I have to bring her on. So, you know, I'm sure it's by design. And I think they thought there was friction there, but little do they know, me and Annie spoke months ago at the comedy store.

It's all good. Yeah, she apologized. She apologized. I need her to come out and say that publicly. I need some true, you. It's a statement released. Shabba is the perfect personification of give him an inch, he takes a mile. Yeah, absolutely.

I would hate if somebody did that. Yeah, just put words in your mouth. I should have never talked to them after fucking saying anything, dude. There's all these pictures of them together, so it's almost believable. But shouldn't she be the one to say she apologized? What?

That's what he said. Yeah, I know. But she should be saying, oh yeah, saying that she apologized. But he's like, he's already going out there, like getting out in front. So now she has to either say she didn't or just say nothing. And by omission, it sounds like she's did apologize. There's so many colloquial ways to talk about this. But I guess if you're a narcissist,

you can't do it, but we squash the beef. It's a lot of ambiguity to what was said to who, but to come out and be like, she fucking got her knees and said sorry, and I wish I would have sucked your dick. Yeah, she apologized. We walked to my truck, and let's just say I had a good

night. Let's just say I didn't respond to any of my messages. Let's just say Esther goes both ways. What? Mr. Shaw? If he just goes full redact, his brain stops working, short circuits,

and starts saying how much he enjoys our show. How long shall Esther go both ways? I used to sell comic books to Brendan Cooney and Gerard Allercon. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. His brain is going crazy. He said my name correctly. Straight Talk Wireless.

Let's see. It was just, and I don't care. So she posted, she goes, can we take a picture? I'm like, yeah. And then she was like, I'm going to post it. I'll talk to you about the caption. So then right before I'm leaving my last set, she goes, I got the caption. Squash Fest. We're squashing the beef

I'm like you're a genius let's do it so she posts it and put my comment on it I go hey I want to invite you and your boyfriend I got a new truck if you want to go for a ride hashtag truck walk that's good dude because her boyfriend was awesome

you know what's funny about you know what's funny? Her boyfriend? That's not funny. You know what's funny about him saying hashtag truck walk? What? Is that he said hashtag truck walk. Yeah.

But it's kind of like, okay, so did he try to say truck or was he saying truck? Oh, yeah. No, I think he was trying to say truck probably. I mean, to him, truck is truck. You know? know yeah they're the same word yeah i wonder if he even knows the difference he probably does but there's a chance that he doesn't yeah maybe he was peer pressured into saying truck truck you have a speech therapist would have to be in there and be like practice truck yeah let's hear it no no no no, no, no. J sound. J is different. He's the equivalent to a speech therapist that an exorcism is to

having to exorcise the devil. Oh, yeah. I mean, he needs the Lance Armstrong of speech therapist to get any real work done. Yeah. And the speech therapist needs a therapist. Afterwards, be like, man, I just don't think I'm good anymore. Yeah. He kept trying to spell giraffe with a D.

Me and her boyfriend Afterwards, I'd be like, man, I just don't think I'm good anymore. Yeah. He kept trying to spell giraffe with a D. Yeah. Me and her boyfriend got a timeshare now in Mexico. Me and that dude hit it off so well because he has lizards and fish. He does? And you know me, I'm balls deep in lizards and fish. He has lizards and fish? So I'm telling weird kids? No. He has lizards and fish.

So me and him. Just like stop saying balls deep. We're talking about fish too Yeah There's too many balls deep It'd be funny if he's so bad at everything That the speech therapist knew as spelling Like he's spelling out words Like you just said he keeps spelling giraffe with a D

Spell it out and then the speech therapist Is like exhausted from trying to teach him How to say words correctly And they look down at his written giraffe, but it says D I R and they're just like, they don't know what to do. Is it a joke? Is my job a joke to you?

Have you been pretending to be this stupid the whole time? If I told you I was a redact, you would agree. All right, let's see here. This is from the T fat-fat k team or uh t-fat k skank fest posted by jacob glamps uh it's called can we all agree that calin is somehow 100 times worse than chob we touched on this in our review yeah and we agree yeah we were in we were

in your porsche back in the back in the day when you were still fighting. And this fucking guy, this guy had those records. Hold on, let me just say right now, let me point this out. This is the moment. This is it. I just pinpointed the moment. And it's not even Brendan's fault. It's Brian's fault. I know.

These people will never own a Porsche. I know. They hated that you just said that it doesn't matter I don't want to die for a Porsche I drive a Dodge Ram but that thing about it he'll drive it every day though

he doesn't keep it there hey do not help me so I agree with the point but that clip is not it doesn't encapsulate what I think about like what's annoying about Brian

is not that Shab drives a Porsche or even that he brings up the Shab I don't think anybody cares that Shab is a Porsche what's annoying is that he talks like that that manner of speech and the way that like everyone's like having a real conversation and Brian's like time to go to my bit and so he's like everyone's like having a real conversation and Brian's like,

Oh, time to go to my bit. And so he's like, we're driving, man. Like we got our sunglasses on and like, so shops has Porsche, right?

You know, it's really nice cars. Really guys. Like, it's two guys. We're like real strong and, you know, rich and all that.

And what bothers me? And then a fucking chimpanzee. Sorry. Cause it, no, no, yeah, that's exactly that. And then it gets even more redacted. Cause then there's weirdpanzee. Sorry. No, no. That's exactly. And then it gets even more redacted because then there's weird animals that come into it.

Every time. So he combines the lack of believability that Chobb does that's kind of ridiculous with just like this weird old school late or early 2000s, 90s character that he always does where it's like a guy that's sort of ridiculous and it's just not, it's awful to watch. Yeah. It feels like going in a time machine back to like redacted times where we have to pretend like that's funny. I just don't, he forces you to pretend like he's funny,

which I don't like. Yeah, people are, you know, I'm trying to go back to redacted times, but I'm trying not to sound redacted myself. But, you know, toilet paper being invented, but Brian Collins out in the woods still using Leafs. You know what I mean? Exactly.

There you go. Yes. You're like, why are you still using Leafs, dude? Yeah. And he's like, oh, Leafs are great. I don't know. It's like, no, you smell like shit and your asshole hurts. Brian. I feel like I'm being

mean to Brian and I don't mean to, but it's just I hate it. He deserves it. Yeah, probably. Yeah, dude, he would never wear those wristbands. Well, oh yeah, probably not. All right, let's go to the next one. Dude, right? Dude, Brian Collins sucks ass. Yeah, but you know who's awesome? Who? Ryan Joseph. Brian, Ryan, get

it. Ryan Joseph 82. He posted this. Me and Logan are boys. Have you seen this yet? This was today. I believe who posted that Ryan Joseph 82. Okay, Thank him. Yeah. Have you seen this? No. Okay. So Logan Paul is reposting Brendan chop saying this bums me out. First full of fight club. Don't sue another fighter building the fight. Oh, and then Logan. And so the caption of this is me and Logan are boys,

right? Obviously not. It bums me out that three weeks ago. I DM do you need his lawsuit details because of your ignorance and response was, oh, Jesus, didn't know that. Not cool. Then you come on, you're talking about fight club rules like you're the referee. This twisted promotion has gone far beyond the fight game, and you know that. Plus, I'm not the one suing him.

He picked a fight with an innocent woman. I guess kind of redacted explanation, but saying that she's the one suing him, not her. Anyone who doesn't understand that is a delusional twat. redacted explanation, but saying that she's the one suing him, not her. Anyone who doesn't understand that is a delusional twat. The lawsuit is her choice and I fully support her.

Now I get back to, now I get to break his face in front of millions of people and ruin his entire life. Win-win. It's just so funny that he's like had a friendship with Logan Paul and now it's gadushed for this tweet about suing and stuff like shab inserts himself into this and gets gadushed but you know what shab thinks dude what he's like engagement yeah numbers it's all about the numbers yeah but now

logan paul will never be on carl bassett fight companion that would have been hilarious that would be awesome. But dude, they're going to squash everything. Oh yeah. It's all theater. It's all stupid. Yeah. Everything about it. Even like I was, I was envisioning it earlier when I read that tweet from,

cause I followed Brendan shop on Twitter. Shout out X fall. Brendan shop. Great content. Dude. Great. But I was picturing like Logan Paul and Dylan Danis before they signed the fight agreement or whatever.

Yeah. And they're like, dude, how are we going to promote the fight? Like, you know, after they fuck each other and stuff. They're homies, right? Right. And Dylan's like, oh, dude, I did find a bunch of videos of your girl that you're going to marry. Right.

And like, she's really horny all the time. And she fucks a lot of dudes. Kobayashi right and then uh and then uh what's it called uh logan paul's like dude yeah do that dude and then i'm gonna fucking sue i'm gonna have her sue you dude and then i'm gonna support her fully we get the women we get like you know crazy dudes that like to uh have revenge porn online you know we're gonna sell the fight to everyone dude and then we can have brendan shop and they're like whoa whoa whoa you want brendan shop to say yeah brendan shop's gonna say something about it i'm gonna call him a twat i don't know about all of that now we got all the redacts dude we're gonna sell the fight to

fucking women supporters redacts i doubt i doubt they sell to women supporters at this point. But I don't know about all that, but I would love if it somehow leads to a Carl Bassett fight companion with Logan Paul, Brennan Schaub, Braylee Martin, and maybe Dylan Danis all together. But, I mean, the narrative there is that they hate each other. So maybe just Logan Paul once he squashes the beef with Schaub and Brayley

Martin and then they can just all be hilarious on that together. Because the YouDoYouTube is amazing. Yeah. That's a funny clip. And they're like, ah, we gotta go. Like they can't even pretend to continue to talk with Schaub. He's so boring. Well, I think you can expect to see Dylan Dennis on,

but probably not Logan Paul. Not at this point. Not after that tweet deity. Logan Paul is like, yeah, I was messing around with Dylan, but I really hate Brendan job. Yeah, that's really funny. He hates him more somehow. And this one we saw on the live, but it's so good. We watched this

on the Timo's live that we did this last week post by minimum sky 2305. It's called Clint. Take watched this on the Timo's Live that we did this last week. Posted by MinimumSky2305. It's called Clint, take it from here. Oh, yeah. This is a classic. One of my favorite clips of all time. Yeah. We'll see.

Thanks, brother. Wait, is that a... Who's doing Kratom right now? I am. I don't do Kratom. Okay, what is the deal with Kratom? Isn't it like a... Narcotic?

Yeah. Now the way they do it, I think it's... Chin, take it from here. It's been around for thousands of years. Boom. So terrible. So terrible. And cocaine.

So it kind of like binds to the same receptors as like if you did opioids, right? But it's not an opioid. Okay. So it's been around forever and it's natural. It's a dried leaf. It's crushed. Yeah. And farmers used to use it to keep, you know, if you take a little bit, to keep you know if you take a little bit you have energy if you take a little bit more

you get sedated a little bit so okay i mean i've been doing it it's just so good oh my god dude who's who here's doing heroin i am yeah chin joro take it away and you're like yeah you go uh it's not fentanyl yeah the first thing first thing he says, cocaine, fentanyl, opium, fucking marijuana. It's so funny that when somebody's like, Kratom's not that bad for you? And they go, nah, dude, cocaine receptors, helium fucking. The brain receptors and it's like the same thing, but it's different. It's different. A lot of Kratom in the crowd tonight.

It's not like cocaine, dude. It's like crushed up leaves, but it's different. Yeah. It's different. A lot of kratom in the crowd tonight. It's not like cocaine, dude. It's like crushed up leaves. You know what I mean? I don't know. It just sounds more like- It would just be so funny. I'm doing heroin. Take it away, Gerardo.

It's not freaking fentanyl. Boom. I go, after you say it's not fentanyl. Boom. Boom. It does all the same stuff, but it doesn't kill you right away. Thanks. If you take a little bit, it makes you active.

If you take a lot, it'll put you out. Anything that does that. If it takes you a little bit, it'll make you really high. But if you take any more than that, you could overdose. Yeah, boom, boom. This is not a good selling of Kratom to me. Also, it has the feeling that Shab always has Chin explain it. It's like, no, Shab, why don't you take it from here now?

You're taking a lot of Kratom, dude. Does Chin even do it? Ever since he broke Chin's neck, he's just like... Chin has to do it. Chin has to do it because of his neck pain. Yeah. Shab, is it a recreational thing? I don't know anything about it. I'll never touch it. Chin has to do it because of his neck pain. Yeah. Is it a recreational thing? I don't know anything about it.

I'll never touch it. Just go on. Yeah, it is disgusting. All right. So let's see. This one's posted by, and also too, whenever we bring up Kratom, automatic fucking 20 comments about Kratom, dude. Right.

You guys are so misinformed. Cocaine, heroin, Adderall. It's not heroin. It's not heroin. If you have to, once again, I've probably said this many times, but if you have to say something's not heroin, if you have to make a point of doing that,

then I'm not interested. Yeah. If you have to convince me that Kratom is good for me without me coming to you with any symptoms or something that I'm trying to fix, I probably don't need to take Kratom, dude. You know what's good? Rain energy.

I've never had anyone be like, rain energy is not heroin. Yeah. Right? Yeah, they'll be like Kobayashi. You know? You want to get your dick sucked? Suck on some rain, dude. All right, so this one's posted by SuccessfulEgg8345.

It's called Pee Wee J Herman Mystery Man. Look at fucking J looks like he's on some Kratom right here, dude. Let's see. J Shop is here. How's it going? I gotta remain mysterious. Jay's catching strays on chains, dude.

Yeah, poor Jay. You know, they're just trying to ax him something. And now he's getting gadooshed. He found some time to step away from the ax Jay hotline. Right. I mean, you know, he has a hard job all day long answering phone calls. What? No, no.

He doesn't have a heart rate like Lance Armstrong. What? No. Kratom is not like cocaine. All right. Or what if in that one he's like, hello? Yeah. Kratom's actually pretty good for you.

It's not. It's not at all like heroin. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. It's not at all like heroin. Boom. Boom. Dun, dun, dun. What? No, he had a cappuccino with the bills. He wasn't in the NFL. All right.

So this one's posted by Money Vine or something like that. It's called Bapa Couldn't Be More Redacted and More Out of Touch. I saw this live on the Instagram, dude's see guys help do i go with the 20 inch rim with 37 tires it's flying this ignite orange or do i go with 18 smaller rim with 37 tires so So a lot more tire, small rim, a lot more rim. Pretty big tire. Tell me. Wild that he gets paid for doing that from the tire companies? I don't know.

That's wild if he does. Do they watch that? That's like worse than the Showtime stuff. The Showtime is like, we have a special. We need you. And then they have the worst special ever. The tire people are watching that like, we got a special, we have a special, we need you. And then they have the worst special ever. The tire people are watching that. Like, Oh my God, we should watch a Showtime thing where we hired this moron, bigger tires, small, put them together.

Small tire, big rim, big rim, small tire. So is that the, why did they pick that shot? Did he, is it like that famous all state ad where the guy messes up a thousand times and they're just like, we got to call it, pick the best one. What's up? My name is Brendan,

AKA mayhem, big tire, small rim, small tire, big rim. There's probably like everybody that works with shop doing a promo or some kind of thing has this thousand yard stare now. Yeah.

They're like, they're just, they can't believe how long they had to work and it's even before he does the ad he puts you in the stair by talking about numbers and then you're just thinking like i mean he did claim his engagement was like insane ever since he started selling comic books at his mom's house he lies so much it fries your brain all which had did all he had to do was say his name. He had to spell out his name, his own last name. He kept saying S-H-A-C-U-B.

S-H-U-A-B. S-H-U-A-B. It was awful. All right. Well, these are my favorite clips, dude. Personally, when I go through Chang's, I always look forward to these, dude. Oh, yeah.

It's posted by S-X-E-A-N-T-H. It's called Name a Better Duo. Kobe and Shaq. Friends here, we can speak with heavy curves on our pronunciations of Latin names. It's an open forum for that, Luke. Say carne asada. It's keto, bitch. Right?

Yeah. It's good stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum. Skits and bits. Skits and bits skits and bits and bits alright question number two

I thought he was going to go into the Mortal Kombat thing perfect for morning combat the Mortal Kombat theme song dude I love that clip I told you about that clip last week that shit made me laugh hard that was my first time seeing it. Very funny. As always.

It's Keto, bitch. I didn't see it coming, you know? Yeah. He's a master of the craft. Best brains for the arts, dude. We're back to our North Star haphazard here. It's called

Boppa Needed Security at Skankfest because people are mean. Oh. Let's see here. They were great. I'm going to say this about the Skankfest fans and the Skankfest thing.

You walk into the belly of the beast. You can counter this if you want. The nicest group of people and comedy fans just there to laugh and support. I was there all day, dude. You got there late. Did you have any negative interaction at all? I got there at one o'clock and I was just doing spots. I mean there all day, dude. You got there late. Did you have any negative interaction at all? I got there at 1 o'clock, and I was just doing spots.

I mean, zero. Yeah. Zero. And obviously, I was scared to go in there just because people are mean. You don't know. I brought Jay. We weren't selling merch. So Jay was there just in case things popped off.

So I had somebody have my back. I didn't know if I was going to get stabbed, shanked, shot. Whoa. We didn't need any of that. They were great. Safer than the mall with Shitter's throat splitter. He had Jay there in case something popped off. He was afraid they were

going to fight him. Interesting. I'm not surprised that they are sucking the dicks a little bit. Brian especially. They're the greatest ever. I am surprised that Schaub was afraid that, so afraid he wouldn't

sell merch. That's when you know Schaub's real scared. If he's not selling a hat with a donut on it, he's nervous. He's like, no, Jay, leave the Helix mattresses. We might get skanked. Or what is it? Fucking shanked, shot. Our throats might get, dude,

it's going to get crazy. Jay's got like a box full of golden jackets in his hands. And Brandon's like, no, no, no, no, no. Leave the golden hour jackets in the car. This isn't that kind of place. And Jay's like, we got an ocean of merch under our feet. We can't sell it here, Jay. And Shaw's like, I don't think we could do it with these people. They might shank us.

We could get stabbed for our merch they didn't bring merch because nobody's buying it all right we're on our last clip of the day dude always a sad moment here at tmos it's posted by haphazard it's called all those creeps let's see here man are you gonna let your kids drive do your kids drive dude it's it's it scares the shit out of me yeah it scares the shit out of me because it's on social media scares me more than driving really that's that's interesting for sure yeah especially like boys whatever the young girl on social media especially this day and age and all those creeps all those creeps all those creeps oh really dude i could see that going a mile away that's so funny dude that's in the kitchen that is fucked up that's so funny dude brian shouldn't be afraid

though because his son is gonna be a hawk not a duck yeah right hawk hawks don't worry about driving no they're always ready they're flying you know one time i. One time I was out at a movie. Doors are shut. Lights go down. Watch a few of the previews. I'm thinking, I'm safe. I got my Diet Coke. Got my gummy bears.

Got my Big Dick. Sorry. Movie starts. It's a re-screening of There Will Be Blood. Ever heard of it? Drainage! So I'm watching There Will Be Blood. I'm in heaven.

I love this movie. On the big screen. Okay? Not a care in the world. Not thinking about anything. All of a sudden, a hawk comes out and bites me in the neck. I'm bleeding

everywhere, dude. I'm such a man that I doubled the healing up, put a bandaid on. What did I do next? Watch the movie. Oh, B, didn't you do 10 minutes in front of the crowd? Yeah, dude. I did 10 minutes in front of the crowd? Yeah, dude. I did 10 minutes in front of the crowd.

Loved it. Crushed it. Rogan came out. Only a thousand can do that. And that's just like, that's something you learn. I thought I did good, but then Rogan came out and I said, good. Rogan murdered. And then our other friend came out.

You might have heard of him, Jeff Dye. Murdered. It was a real murderous row. I kind of showed you like why we do it. Jeff, I beat up a girl, dude. All right. That's our show.