10 Minutes of Schaub - Brendan Schaub HATES Women! | 10 Minutes of Schaub #6

Episode Date: January 16, 2023

Sixth Episode of 10 Minutes of Schaub

All right, 10 minutes of Shab. S-H-A-B, baby. S-H-A-B. We learned on the last clip that it's S-H-A-B, according to Shab. All right, are you ready? I don't know, but I am. Okay, there we go. We are ready.

So, do you have the clip pulled up? Yes, I do. You want me to put it up? Yeah. All right, starting the timer now. Here it goes. 10 minutes of Shab. You do not know where I put you in that Guadalajara hard scarf, man.

She runs a tight ship. What does that mean? Guadalajara's. Guadalajara hard scarf? Yeah. Choking the neck. I found this clip and it just made me laugh because it reminded me of all the comments saying that she's not from Mexico. She's fromllywood is this an interview of her saying she's from

hollywood does she yeah she says she's born in hollywood why does he keep saying this then at this point it makes no sense so many people commented on the first video she was born in california to the point where i thought they were saying we said she was born in Mexico. Oh. I got confused. I was like, what? But then I realized I re-watched The Gringo Poppy. You did? I don't know. Actually, I watched it with this guy.

I was trying to make some more content. I was filming my friend watching it and laughing. He was high. Yeah. So I tried to film him laughing really hard at Chubb. And it just became incriminating of my friend. He was high, so I tried to film him laughing really hard at Shob. And it just became incriminating of my friend. I was like, I can't put this on the internet.

He won't be in 10 minutes of Shob. What else we got? Guadalajara hard scarf. Is that what you said? Hard scarf? Hard scarf. I don't know what that is. I like that he's coming up with sayings, though. It makes it more fun to watch him say stupid things.

All right, here we go pitter patter dude here's the thing about those dinosaurs kids you know a t-rex can't run that fast right did you know that you know they were slow as shit you know anybody in the room could outrun a t-rex why because

they're the size of the titanic they're slow as fuck they're not this is like shab being a substitute teacher. Like, what a view into what that would be like. It's so funny. Him in the office

after class and the principal's like, let's watch this real quick. Yeah. You know what it's like, kids? They be slow as shit. Like, you cannot

say any of this and you're wrong. Yeah. How does he know this stuff? Yeah. I always, when I have these clips, I always want to know the context.

Like, why is he talking about dinosaurs? He so confident too yeah they just i they isolate on like the dumbest videos they can find the the red the subreddit does yeah and then they play it out so we just see him being like a complete fool without any context and it's great it's like what why is he talking about this did you do you think you could not run a dinosaur probably not i definitely don't trust dr shop yeah shop's not somebody like if i was in a jurassic park situation i'd be like all right let's listen to the guy with where is he's got like a philly's hat on and he's like fucking weird nikes and you're like i'm not gonna let's not follow him yeah what else you got oh this is not over yet not that scary you know in the their main thing where they go that's also fake they think they're high pitched how would you know loud and also covered in

feathers okay oh and those velociraptors that always cause problems dress park you know the size of a fucking poodle that's pitter patter dude how dare you how dare you is this as audiences like bros that are shocked by this or something they're like oh my god dude shop dude oh really dude he knows about shop dude he knows about dinosaurs bro like i was in couples therapy the other day dude and like my girl was so mad that i kept bringing up shop oh man and i told the velociraptors are poodles dude i was just like did you know that dinosaurs didn't even talk dude like they didn't even have like language bro they said nothing man man. They know. I read it in like, I saw it on like a thing somewhere.

I don't know, dude. All right, here's the next one. But the two cops that were killed because of Garcon, our DA. L.A. County District Attorney George Gascon. I love that clip so much. That's classic Chav right there. Yeah. The name just blatantly wrong and it's something else.

Gascon? He has no luck. Chav has no luck, dude. Because it's hilarious to get Gascon wrong, right? But the name is so close to Garcon. And he says Garcon, which means boy in French. We all know from the uh what is a pulp fiction i do not know that you never knew that no you know have you seen pulp fiction though right yeah but i didn't watch it to learn french just the the famous scene where like the waitress

is like uh garçon garçon then she's like you know what garçon means in french it means boy or whatever oh no actually i don't remember that is that a famous scene yeah it's when they're in the I think it's the first scene of the movie with Tim Roth and the chick they're like honey bunny

we're gonna rob these or whatever oh gotcha yeah yeah I remember that scene yeah you could put Schaub in any movie I'm just envisioning

Schaub in that movie now he's so good what are you doing honey bunny I'm looking at the idiot over there Schaub and he's like

dude dinosaurs bro like they're poodles, dude. Gascon is the DA of LA, the district attorney, and he's like ran on being a reformer. So Schaub, I would love to hear Schaub's thoughts on that, but Schaub just gets like the little bit of news from somewhere. Maybe he heard Rogan say something.

So in his world, it's very black and white, Schaub bad. I mean, Gascon, Garcon, Garcon and George Carlton. Garcon's good, George Carlton, not so,

actually really good. Gascon, not good. Okay, so this next clip is a seven minute clip. Which part was it? I don't know. I just picked that one just randomly.

It's one we haven't watched yet, so let's watch it for a while and see what happens as we usually do watched yet, so let's watch it for a while and see what happens as we usually do. Okay, unnecessary. For me, yeah. I mean, this is going to sound really shitty.

I respect women, but like I don't want to you don't know me. Classic shot, baby. He goes for those really stupid first thought bits. He doesn't ever go from A to C. It's A to B, and B is something that most people would not say. It's like the first person to talk bit.

Yeah. I watched another clip that I almost picked of Shab. It's from 2019 where he's talking about Michael Jackson. And I have a bit, if you're a fan of my stand-up at all, you can check it out. It's called Leaving Neverland on YouTube. His bit is also called Leaving Neverland. But if you watch the difference between the two, I have three minutes of like joke, joke, joke, joke, joke. His is like him being like, dude, Michael Jackson?

Like, he fucked kids. And they, why would you do that? Oh, really, dude? Yeah, that's essentially, why would you do that? I mean, if Drake was trying to fuck my kids, maybe I would have him let Drake have sex with Mike. It's so bad.

Terrible. He doesn't have the brain capacity to think of anything beyond the most obvious and often slightly offensive. Hacky. Hacky. He's hacky. Hacky is the first instinct. Yeah, but don't talk though, right?

Because women, we all think they're dumb, right? They can't relate to it. You're not going to relate to it. I don't mean to interrupt you. I went to a relationship therapist. It's couples therapy. It was this female. Different.

Different. I'm like, you have no idea what this is like. You can't even relate to this. You're used to it. Not that I'm a male, but what I do for a living. To be that dumb is hard to put yourself in i mean a therapist somebody went to school yeah they're trusted with giving advice they can't put their head in the mind of essentially a a human dog yeah with like dog brain you can't relate to garcon. Yeah. Listen, I know all about Garcon and Carlton and Clint and Chin.

And women. Papa. Women are dumb. They don't know what it's like to be Brandon Chubb, the greatest comedian to ever live. Oh, really, dude? I understand males, but from my perspective, the world I live in, I might as well be a fucking husky. It doesn't matter. He just said husky. It doesn't matter. He just said husky.

I didn't even watch this far. Dude, I'm predicting what he does, dude. My brain is starting to work in a shop. I'm like the Sherlock Holmes of shop. I fully understand what shop's about to say and do. I swear to God, I did not watch that whole clip. Wow. Okay.

I got nothing out of it. Dude. I got nothing out of it. I went to a, I did not watch that whole clip. Wow. Okay. I got nothing out of it. I got nothing out of it. And she fucked up. She's like, what was that? Excuse me, comedian who's been doing it for a long time and people are fans of. But I have a story about couples therapy with my wife who I lie

and say is from Mexico and also say is stupid. We said that his marriage is failing and then he does a clip about couples therapy. We get this guy so well. I'm starting to think that we get this guy really well. And you know what?

I have to think that I've been reading the subreddit a little bit. Maybe it's them. I don't know. Maybe they're getting into my brain. I don't know, man. All right into my brain. I don't know, man. All right, keep playing it. Don't answer this. I feel like there's 30 seconds left.

Do not give a number, Brendan. Do not give a number. I gave a low number. And it would not go well. Shut this idiot up. Turn him off. There's only 20 seconds left. I read through the subreddit, and I just want to read this out loud.

It's so funny. I don't know if I can do it in 20 seconds. But they were arguing about new people through the subreddit and i just want to read this out loud it's so funny i don't know if i can do it in 20 seconds but um they were arguing about like new people in the subreddit and how like they're annoying because they don't get it or whatever and this one guy wrote literally the new people are on some ish dog they aren't true cats papa just regular dumb bros all right it's off but we'll do a little bit longer don't just regular dumb bros. All right, it's off, but we'll do it a little bit longer. Just regular dumb bros that are finally realizing Schaub is a dork after five years of us. More power to him, but you can't take him too serious.

They try to hang with the waitstaff, even wiggle their way back into the kitchen sometimes, but they just came to eat at Chang's, dot, dot, dot. They still got homes to go back to, which I thought was really good, but this is the line that kills me. This guy responds, we were born in a Chang's dot dot dot they still got homes to go back to which I thought was really good but this is the line that kills me this guy responds we were born in the Chang's they merely adopted it

this subculture is hilarious I love that it's kitchen shit I love that dog I'm starting to talk like shop now I say dog now fuck how many chicks you fuck alright thank you later