10 Minutes of Schaub - Brendan Schaub IS A HERO! | 10 Minutes of Schaub #116

Episode Date: October 29, 2024

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My truck is where I want to walk There's me nuts and it doesn't count I'll say less, born with a small brain I guess I'll start a lottery The more we talk about it is Netflix Making nothing out of something. Merch on the side. Brian is my guy.

It's okay. What else you got, Jim? What else? Oh, I got plenty of merch. Oh, is he one of our guys? And you're watching all my content. But you know Adios King. Never for money.

Always for views. Cover us in Sega douche. Sega douche. One take. Fuck. It's time for my favorite time of the week. When you get the ear, bop, let it try to speak. Release surprises today.

You better actually watch 10 Minutes of Shop. Welcome back to 10 Minutes of Shop. As always, join the Patreon. We have recently seen and reviewed Joe Rogan's Burn the Boats, No Pain by Chris D'Elia, and we're in the process of watching Matt Rife's Crowdwork special. Yeah, we're in the process because we're laughing so much. We have to do it like multiple nights.

Yeah, our bellies hurt from the laughter. Oh, you work at oh you work at starbucks yeah dude oh shit your mom is a is a whore that's hilarious your mom um so yeah we're watching that so if you want to join that but also we stream on wednesday nights at 8 p.m right this week on this 10 minutes a shot we're not going to watch any of the joanna clips because we watched the whole video on our stream i think that one's called starbucks vigilante that stream so go check that out if you want to see us watch yeah if you want to see what we you know the hero story which we believed every minute of it out of these people some people are saying it's not real it's like is that your takeaway yeah come on but anyways that's not why they're here they're here to watch them as a shop right so start the timer, play the chin

clip. All right, so let's see what we got here. We got a lot of picture stuff this week, so we're going to just dive into that stuff to begin with. This one's posted by Cruel Ambitions called Gadoosh Part 2, and it's another Sean Strickland post. Nice. I'll make fun of Brendan Chobb, and he will get mad.

I'm making fun of you because it's funny. You're supposed to make fun of people of me and keep the joke going. Oh wait, I'm sorry. I forgot. You're not funny. LOL. But I actually like him. Really. So, to let you guys behind the curtain, I was trying to think, was that the way to say it? I was trying to think of a way to mess

it up. A peek behind the curtain. A peek behind the hurt, the hurtin'. The hurtin'. We want Sean on the show. I sent him a message on instagram and twitter and he was like cool story bro he didn't see either one of them and i don't expect him to right we didn't matter we didn't count but this is an open invite if any of you know sean strickland please tell him to come to our show yeah open invite uh preferably on zoom just kidding no i want to come here and gadush us dude if he takes a look at this shit he's gonna have a lot to say

yeah yeah he's not gonna sit down he's going to have a lot to say. Yeah. Yeah. He's not going to sit down. He's just going to walk in and be like, cool store, and then leave. No, I think he'll enjoy making fun of all of us. Yeah. And our producer, Miguel. I like how Mark sat on the couch, and then we were like, are you ready to start?

He's like, yeah. And then we're like, no, it's in here. He's like, oh, God. Yeah. No. You know what? The funniest thing about Marg is the chairs. Yeah.

He didn't realize the chairs. And we had to tell him. We were like, these are the chairs from the show. He was like, what? He's like, where did you get these? We couldn't tell him where they got them. That was real. He literally did not recognize the chairs.

I'm surprised you remember that. I thought you were asleep. I know. For part of the episode, the Marg early episode, I was asleep. What are you going to do? All right. Let's see what the next one is. This is going to be, what does FWIW mean?

Do you know? I don't know that. I don't either. I didn't know what a TDLR meant. Oh, TLDR. TLDR. I still don't know. Too long.

Don't read. It's posted by Don't Know Who to Axe. It's F-W-I-W prison would have been less torturous than D'Elia's current life. And it's a pic of all them in the car, dude. It seems like a candid pic, too, because he's putting in the gear, daddy. Look at that. He's got a weird thumb. Yeah, it's a giant thumb.

Wow. Is that Joe Rogan? Or is that a toe? It looks like it's a giant thumb. Wow. Is that Joe Rogan? Or is that a toe? It looks like it's Joe Rogan on his finger. Right. This picture, what I like about it is it's one of those pictures where you don't really want to be part of it, so you don't make a face. Yeah.

That's what D'Elia's doing. He's like, well, I'm in it, I guess. And this is Eric's inception. Eric was like, I love my friends. And then he's like, let's take a pic. I think Montez is just struggling because of the sunlight. Oh, yeah. But he's happy to be in it.

Chris, not so much. We should take more pictures like this, dude. Yeah, we should recreate. Get Miguel on as Montez. I'm Shab and you're D'Elia or whatever. I don't mind. I mean, I'm more like Shab than anyone in this room. Sure.

I have to wrestle with that every night. Before I go to sleep, I start crying. Right. Every night, beans and cheese. Yeah. I eat beans and cheese, and then I go, why again, dude? You know? All right.

Let's see this next one. It's called Bapa's Reaction to Valid Criticism from Two Thickies. Creedcism. Creedcism. Posted by Snookings. Let's see what this is about here. Bro, please, please God stop being such a relentless

know-it-all with Brian. I've never missed a thing. You could tell they're thickies because please God, you know, like that little spaz my guy, my guy say less to all with Brian. I've never missed a single episode, but I can't take any

more of your nonstop aggressive big brothering of Brian. It's so insulting and off-putting. I wish you would understand how you come off. So you change it. I was like you religiously every Monday and Wednesday, but this is exactly what made me stop listening. Now I tune in if there's a good guess, but I'm outside of that. Have you seen this or not? Oh, I'm excited to see a reaction to shops message.

It's starting to feel like he can't stand Brian or can't stand himself. No idea what's going on with, but Shab has a lot going for him. Not sure why he can't just be cool and happy. Sucks the show went this route. What do you think Shab wants to say? You don't need to watch it if you don't want. No one's forcing you to watch it. Or like,

don't know, doesn't count. Yeah. Don't know what you're talking about. Show's the best it's ever been. But you're giving them too much credit. Right.

Are you guys gay? You're using words. Okay. Think like ancient Egypt. Oh, he's going to use like emojis. He speaks in hieroglyphics, dude.

He just laughs, dude. He doesn't care. I mean, that's the way Hawk moves, dude. Fuck him. What is it? Hawk rule 817? Never say words. Yeah, just respond in emojis.

If someone's trying to gadouche you, just put a duck. Yeah. I agree with that. It hurts my feelings, dude. What? When people leave ducks. Oh. I'll be like, like man if you wanted to hurt me you got me brother for sure but I think the duck thing is kind of like it's a joke

I really think that oh it's a joke to you dude? yeah I think the people that leave duck comments actually are fans and they're not because there's one guy that keeps saying Cooney's a duck. I think he likes me and I want, I want to keep believing that.

Please do not dispel me of this belief. Next time put a duck and be like, this is not because I'm a fan. No, no, no, don't do that. Then I'll know it's a bit too. I'm going to, nothing can, nothing will dissuade me from believing that that specific person is a fan you know what uh gets me because i'm very binary right sure um when people say like man this episode was blockbuster hell yeah this and that and it's like kind of positive after saying

blockbuster i'm like isn't blockbuster bad you don't want to be blocked was it the new iphone's netflix well i think some are doing a bits and some just don't know that yet. Right. There's a lot of like new fans of this shit every day because it's popular. Not our show, the T-Fat K and just the whole universe. So when people hear about it, they're just like, hey, blockbuster. They're trying to get in the, you know, when you're entering a new friend group and you're kind of being weird. You're maybe a little lame. You're like, hey, what's up, guys? And then you try and say something.

Everyone's like, what's up, Ricardo? Beans, cheese, right? Like, yeah yeah and then ricardo's like you fucking racist or if somebody comes into our group and they're like what's up gerardo and we're all like because your name's jerry yeah yeah yeah right hey hot cheetos right right carlos yeah i'm carlos yeah like whoa dude cooney he can't eat Hot Cheetos. He's got a condition. This is called the first comment on Strickland's post about Schaub had me rolling. Posted by Forever Baked 1. So mean. I'm not going to lie, though.

Makes sense. It does look like that trajectory. Yeah. I mean, this is what... Don't get work done in your lips or your face. Yeah. Just don't do it. It looks like he's... Okay, so the jump from 2011

to 2021, a lot of no sleep nights, looks like, right? He's got the bags. What happened? I want to hear what you think. What happened between 21 and 31? A lot of Tiger Thick, right? A lot of nicotine, between 21 and 31 a lot of tiger thick right a lot of nicotine kratom a lot of food truck shit he's always eating burgers i don't know if sticking

your tongue out when you eat food affects your face so a lot of scooping at the bag is what you're saying yeah i mean clear the one thing i take away from this from 2011 to 2021 to 2031 different people i saw some comments that are like all he does is fucking say like words from the thing doubling down good good fucking oh really dude coonies have a sleep for the biggest episode of the podcast good i had no control over that dude i work too hard i'm that white boy that works too much. All right? I fucking had one-on-ones all day long. Yeah. You meet with 13 people and discuss their future.

All right? And then you do a podcast with fucking Mark Harley and see how you do it. You think it's easy just to go... Yeah, you think this is easy just to say good? Yeah. Right? You're fucking blog bust if you think that. You could never be a comedian, dude.

You'd have to be a Marine. Yeah, you fucking citizen. Yeah. What is it? Wait, is it citizen? Pedestrian. bust if you think that. You could never be a comedian, dude. You'd have to be a Marine. Yeah, you fucking citizen. Yeah. Wait, is it citizen? Pedestrian. Pedestrian. Fucking pedestrians. Yeah, dude.

I graduated from military anything because being a comedian is way harder. This is like the Navy SEALs. Do you know what this is right here? I know the camera can't see, but you can see. Do you know what this is? You know what it is. A black belt. Yeah.

I have it. In Paul Castor. All right? You know what it is. A black belt. Yeah. I have it. In Paulcaster. All right? You have a black belt in lack of sleep. I have a black belt. I don't sleep anymore. I've devoted my entire life. While you're asleep, doing your eight hours of sleep,

I'm watching Reddit clips. All right? I'm making fucking thumbnails that are too lazy to try. All right? I wake up before my enemies. I don't I wait wake up before my enemies. I'm never asleep. I'm going to die.

All right. All right. Here, let's go next. This one is so this is like a controversial thing in the Chang's universe. Granted I'm only on here 10 minutes a week. It's posted by Karen C. And we'll get back to it later.

I forget where the clip is. But is this the lowest view JRE in recent times? I scrolled for a bit and lowest I saw still had 300K. As a wise man once said, audio is king though. So who knows? Which is a great point. Right. As you can see, it's Shab and it's 3.2K views one month ago.

So let's just a little teaser. Yeah. Okay. And then we'll get into, you know. All right. Somebody saw this and was like, cool story, bro. Kind of supporting Shab. Yeah.

Being like, dude, come on. It's a re-upload, right? Sure. We'll get to that later. What's next here? Okay. Weekend at Diddler's posted by Brendan Shop Brain. My future runs deep. Oops. Okay. Weekend at Diddlers posted by Brendan Chop Brain. My future runs deep.

Oops. Yeah. Yeah, that's great. It looks like who's this? Bernie. Weekend at Bernie. Got it. All D'Elia needs is a cigarette in his mouth and it's exactly the same. Virtually identical. Let's see here.

This is We Get It. We Get It posted by Khabib Time. Haven't seen Khabib Time in a while. Good to see you. Of course. It's see here. This is We Get It, We Get It, posted by Khabib Time. Haven't seen Khabib Time in a while. Good to see you. Of course. It's just racism, dude. That's unfortunate. Historic.

Three white cornerbacks are expected to make an NFL roster this season. These three guys, and he goes, oh, shit. If it was another person, it'd be fine. I get excited for white cornerbacks. There are no white cornerbacks, but Brandon has this history of being racist. Yeah. He won't even go to a restaurant in Englewood. Yeah. Come on. Enjoy some barbecue, Brendan. Let's see here. This is posted by a upstairs patient, three 73, a post by Craig Jones.

As you can see, Craig Jones, BJJ don't know who that is, but I want to meet him now. View count, YouTube channels, last 28 days. Something just graph, right? No shopisms yet. Right. I'm not a numbers guy, B. So funny.

Yeah, he's always on the same stuff about this. Isn't that, I'm going to get it wrong again. I'm not going to go there. Do you want me to look it up for you? What? Is it the CEO of PF Chinks? I'm pretty sure get it wrong again. I'm not going to go there. Do you want me to look it up for you? What? Is it the CEO of P.F. Jinx? I'm pretty sure it's not. I think it's like Paul Craig or something like that.

Well, that's not our fault, dude. Their fucking names are similar, dude. I know that we've... This is so bad because we've already talked about this and I still don't know. But like you, I also have a problem with binary things. I can't remember which one is which, right? Sometimes I grab a Pepsi

thinking I'm drinking a Coke. Yeah. Right? You don't come here for real news. You know what I mean? Yeah, I think it's Paul Craig is the one that did it. Yeah. Whatever. Who gives a fuck? I am the CEO at P.A. of Jinx. This is posted by Objective Finish 2555. It's called, I heard Brendan

saved hundreds of people after his Starbucks heroics. It's just... I mean, hundreds of people after his Starbucks heroics. It's just I mean, that's just great and joy ideas is back there somewhere motherfucker Spider-Man you shoot ropes with your dick. Let's see here.

This one is Ariel Hawaii taking his talents to thick boy stews posted by Khabib time and I pray to God he ends up in that studio, dude. That would be awesome. It's a post by Ariel Hawani saying life update. Goodbye, Vox Media and Spotify. Thank you for three incredible years. Very

new next very exciting chapter coming soon. Basically it'll be funny if Ariel Hawani went to thick boy like Brennan was like, I got a job for you. You can do your own show and then Ariel Hawani show just started doing really thick boy like brennan was like i got a job for you you can do your own show and then errol hawani show just started doing really really well and i was like we have another show it's like fucking it's just so much better yeah i don't think uh his pride to let him have

ariel in the studio i mean ariel would never agree to that he can just do something no ariel would kill to fucking work with shop dude right you're. Like, we wouldn't do everything we could to get in Shop Studios. That would be hilarious if there was another show, like we had a show on his network, T-MOS. It would suck. I don't want him as a boss. We would never get paid. You're right.

All of our money would dry up. Yeah. Like, actually, you got to give your Patreon to me. I need it. Daddy needs a cut. It's like the mob. Daddy needs a cut. He's like our Tony Soprano. Yeah. Can we get paid? He's like the mob daddy needs a cut he's like our tony

soprano yeah can we get paid he's like why are you asking about money dude be cool i gave you a shoe yeah he gives us each a shoe and the whole time he's looking over his shoulder because he's peeing in the sink yeah we'd have to see his dick if we worked there i don't want to do that i i don't want i that's my fandom goes only so far i don't want to see dick. I don't want to be tackled by Shob on the show. He'd be like, we got to do one of those wrestling videos where I tackle you and I slap your butt. And I'm just like, I don't want to do that. But then he would force me to do it because he's bigger than me.

I would just go to work with a fucking suit of armor every day. You pull out the red bar like... Yeah, the gun thing. That's so funny dude step over here that's so funny all right so back to i gave you guys a cliffhanger dude that's why you come to 10 minutes of shop do you get cliffhangers you know what i mean that's about it right yeah you know you set it up good uh so this is posted by Lucy Stabbing Hat, right? Or Lucky Stabbing Hat.

Fuck, I fucked up. Jesus Christ. Let's compare JRE views to another episode that was recently re-uploaded. Oh, fuck. Okay, so the re-upload argument is Nolan Void, apparently, according to Lucky Stabbing Hat, because Brendan Chobb's episode got 3.7k views one month ago. And one month ago, Louis CK

was posted and got 573k views. Okay, but let me ask you a question. Well, two questions, actually. One is, how many chicks... Eight inches. How many chicks does that guy fuck? And is he even one of our guys? Louis CK?

Is he one of our guys? Louis C.K.? Is he one of our guys? No. No. He surprised me, and it was funny. See, that's humor. Yeah. When you don't see it coming. Yeah.

You guys know that. I love Louis C.K., dude. Yeah, me too. God damn it. You look like him, kind of. I get Louis when I've been eating too much and Bill when I look sickly. I mean, I'll be honest. I buy his specials on his website.

And I'll be honest, dude. You don't come here for picture posts. You come here for videos, right? Let's get into the video cleanse for this chip, dude. Oh, fuck. I fucked up something there. Let's see here. Post by Haphazard, one of our guys, how a pro sells a product.

Are you ready? Dude, we're starting hot and fast this week, dude. Okay. I just want to say one thing. I think that the currency may be currency because Karan Butler, the NBA player, maybe it's Karan. Currency. He posted one of the-

Oh, currency. But yes. No. To answer your question, though. Yes. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm strapped the fuck in.

Is that your takeaway, dude? All right. Let's see here. Just strapped in. Promo code Brendan. 10% off. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. here just strapped in promo code brendan 10 off oh he's so good 10 off that face imagine getting that excited for 10 yeah it must be really ridiculous to shop with him yeah 10 off yeah It's like nothing. That looks like my, uh, when we do our special reviews, my, my laughing guy in the crowd face. Oh yeah. This is balloon farts face. Every time we drop an episode. Oh hell yeah. Shout out to balloon fart. But that's the noise coming out of his mouth. But yeah, I wanted to start off hot. Now we're going to start off. We're going to go into long and boring.

Okay. I think it's very important for us to watch this 12 minute clip on this episode. That's why I told you earlier, it's probably going to be a long one. Okay. If you want to see us watching Starbucks Vigilante, the classic post from Joanna Schaub, that's on our streaming, our live section of the YouTube channel. Yeah. You can only watch if you sub. Yeah. Yeah. You can only watch if you sub.

Yeah. Yeah. You can only sub if you watch. So this is going to be a Starbucks vigilante bop aside long. And can I be honest with you, Cooney? Yeah. I laughed hard. Oh, shit.

At two things, non-ironically, like that are funny to me. And I want to see, I'm not going to tell you when, and I'm hopefully not going to laugh now, but dude, we need to stop doing this show because I'm starting to find. Okay. And I want to see, I'm not going to tell you when, and I'm hopefully not going to laugh now, but dude, we need to stop doing this show because I'm starting to find them funny. Oh, shit. Like legitimately. Good. So I want to see if you laugh at the same parts. Okay. So clear your mind of like all this

shop pay that you always consistently have and stuff. You know what I mean? Let's just go. Let's go traction control. No Baja mode. Okay. Ready? I'm with you. I like doing less work. I like doing less work. I like doing less work. Oh, dude, I almost got in a fight this morning. Straight up.

Close to everything. You're just like out of nowhere? Yeah. There's no setup. It just fucking goes. Forbidden to get in a fight. Physical fight. Not just an argument in an emotional fight.

Straight up. I got out of the car and threatened the guy. Okay. Well, that should be. Why didn't you start the podcast with that? I don't know. Because we were talking about movies and stuff. I didn't want to just jump in.

All right, so let's go to a commercial break first. By the way, this might be perfect. This has never happened. Getting out of the car. All right, so what happened? Have you ever gotten out of a car to fight somebody? No. There was these two white people that were following me, and they gotten out of a car to fight somebody? No. There was these two white people that were following me, and they got

out of the car, and I just kept driving, and they kept following me, dude, for like miles. That's insane. It was nuts. I went Bahamo, probably. It was probably my fault. I was going to tell you really why, but let's just say that I have an anger problem. How about that? Let's see. You guys have

wife and kids. You would have gotten out the car so okay i always work out early enough so my wife posted i didn't what she posts uh she put you were my superhero today and always i hope you talk about it on the pod of course but but just so your kids just know your kids and i were so proud how sexy you came to my rescue at star setuck. Setzi. He could read. Yeah, that's good. Unless he memorized it, which is also impressive. There's no chance. Like, when it comes to intelligence, he can read.

I'm not going to step up and go, he memorized it. Are you kidding me? For sure. Okay. Let's see. Buck's Day, I'll forgive you leaving your shoes on the floor. Okay. All right.

So this was just now. She's still got to dig in. I like that. She's still got to dig in. It upsets me that they don't use the word gadouche more. Yeah, they stopped. She gadouched you. That would have been perfect. You know what I mean?

Yeah. They don't lean in. They don't understand that the thickies want that. Yeah, and the thickies and the T-Fat K people like that. The goldies. The golden hour. The goldies. Yeah, golden hour fans. You don't really see a lot of golden hour fans. Well, you're about to see two like that. The Goldies. The Golden Hour. The Goldies. Yeah, Golden Hour fans.

You don't really see a lot of Golden Hour fans. Oh, you're about to see two, dude. Oh, okay. You want to tell them? Oh, shit, yeah. The Jackets actually should be here today, by the way. Hell yeah, dude. They're out for delivery.

I checked my phone this morning. We ordered two Golden Hour Golden Jackets. We crowdsourced it. We got some, so thank you to everybody that donated. But yeah, those should be here today. Tight. at least she posted a picture per month in the giveaway that's cool drivefastallgast.com okay um so i was somebody posted in my stream i stream on twitch the drive fast all gassed and the way they did it was dryfastaugust.com. You know what I liked about the way he read that when he was like, of course?

It reminded me of when he was describing Tiger Thick. Like, listen, you're going to get some Tiger Thick, okay? Dog gum. Maybe you need to go get some drinking. Joe Rogan and Bert Kreischer, they know a little something about whiskey. They swear by it. Bert Kreischer, they know a little something about Wixtky. They swear by it. Bert Kreischer has a serious problem with drinking. All right, let's see here.

I work out at 6 a.m. to get back in time to get the kids ready for school. Back in time? Oh, my God. Finally, someone figured it out. That was the part that made me like. Yeah, no, that's for sure. You got to punch it up, daddy. They got to let him cook.

We got to let him cook, right? This is what you get when you let Brennan talk. He comes up with shit that you don't even see coming out of left field where Theo's doing coke. Yeah. Let's see that one more time. She's still got to dig in. I like that.

She's still got to dig in. At least she posted a picture promoting the giveaway. That's cool. Tryfastall that one more time. So she's still got to dig in. I like that. She's still got to dig in. At least she posted a picture promoting the giveaway. That's cool. DriveFastAllGuests.com. DriveFastAllGuests.com. So I always work out. I'll be in McConnor, Texas, but that's not there. I work out at 6 a.m. to get back in time to get the kids ready for school.

You go back in time? Yeah, dude. To get back in time. Oh, my God. Finally, someone figured it out. So I leave at six, right? You like it, dude. Yeah, it's funny.

This guy's so stupid. Can I get through this? You're stupid. You're an elliptical time machine. Oh, I'm good. Marty! Yeah, this is good. It's Terry Dagnall!

On the elliptical! So stupid. George Washington! And dinosaurs. This is in a made-up time. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. I'm talking to big-ass twice-sharer tops on John Adams. Oh, God.

Because they're around at the same time. So I always leave the house early to get back. Damn, dude. Yeah, so we need to stop doing this show. I'm getting redacted as fuck. No, I think that's just funny. Okay, cool. I mean, Montez is capable of being funny.

D'Leo's funny on Golden Hour. Yeah. What's it called? I like how they were being funny, and he was like, you're not going to let me finish? He doesn't want the show to be funny, dude. No, he gets uncomfortable if it's actually like good because it's good yeah instead of like good because it's like oh my god what the fuck are these guys doing yeah he should be at the fucking gym at 4 34 in the morning though you know definitely but that's part of why the show's good he were part of why it's funny is he refuses to

be funny right and it's like montez and Delia's reaction to that is gold. Yeah. Golden hour. Golden hour. For school, summer camp, whatever. It's 7am, I'm headed back, and I call her, and she's like, oh, we left already. I'm like, why the fuck are you leaving so early? She's like, Tiger has to get there early for summer camp,

something he has to do. She's like, we're in line at Starbucks. I'm like, what's Starbucks? She's like, the one off DeSoto, right up here. So I'm like, alright, well, I don't want the kids to start the day without seeing me I'll stop by the Starbucks As we're on the phone I hear gook gook get the car out Get the hell out the car bitch

I'm gonna fuck you and the kids up So already Deviating from the original story That Joanna had. There's just so unlikely that you hear on the phone. Yeah. I have banging and I get out of the car. I'm going to fuck you up and the kids.

I'm like, I mean, if it were me immediately, I'm like, what's going on? What's going on? And then as, and then calling the cops as I drive there.

Right. So like, well, first of all, I don't have kids. Yeah. Also your duck. I'll call the cops. Handle, well, first of all, I don't have kids. Yeah. Also, you're a duck. Don't call the cops.

Handle it yourself, dude. You're right. You were fighting in the UFC. You're going to call the cops? Yeah, definitely. Oh, that's your takeaway? I believe that Joanna's lying, dude. Oh, yeah?

Yeah. So let's hear the real story is what I say. You know what I mean? For sure. Babe, this guy's getting out his car. Getting out his car. his car he's banging on thing i'm like what i go lock the doors roll up the windows leave him there make sure he can't

get out well i'm one minute away make sure his ass does not leave this i get him yelling hitting the car right so i go that's such a ridiculous thing to say he brought up like hanging up the phone already and he's still just hearing things. You know what I mean? Damn. You're hearing this like a detective. Yeah, that's crazy. I missed that part because I was laughing so hard at just the idea of him being like, keep him there. The guy that's threatening your wife.

You will be mad if he doesn't, or I mean if she doesn't keep him there. If the guy that's threatening your family is not there when you arrive you're unhappy yeah that makes no sense look at that face dude he's done some stuff to his lips he's went from like skeleton skinny to like kind of a little bloated now yeah right crazy what kind of car is he and she's like he's in a construction truck like a white truck i'm like big dude she's like, he's in a construction truck, like a white truck. I'm like, big dude? She's like, looks pretty big, has a beard. I'm like, cool, say less. Say less, dude.

He's using fucking slang on the phone. He's hitting that reefer right now. Is he Baja mode? Let's see. I'm pulling up. I'm taking a left-hand turn. I see that construction truck trying to get out of the way

I fucking cut through all the lanes middle of traffic I cut him off I'm in my F100 the Velocity F100 just like Batman cut him off Batman

just like Batman dude calling him Batman diddler rules I'm sorry the golden hour clip I mean he's just so great on these clips. Your boy just got done with buys and chest.

And also, yeah, you worked out. You're loose. I'm in a wife beater. Your boy got the veins coming out. Right, right, right, right. The funny part, too, is she goes, quit hitting my car. I'm going to call my husband. He goes, get your little ass husband up here.

See what the fuck's up. She's like, okay. She's like, okay. Holy crap. up here. See what the fuck's up. She's like, okay. She's like, okay. Okay. Cauliflower instead of the fucking... You got cauliflower ears. If somebody talks shit, you just go like this. The bat signal is just a cauliflower ear.

No, it's a cauliflower with cheese on it. This part's a little redacted, but I'm still on board. But the Batman, bringing up Batman was hilarious. Yeah, when he was like, just like Batman. Cut across all the lanes just like Batman, dude. That was good. Oh, fucking play button isn't working.

So it's like a tortellini in the sky. Everyone's like, is Batman hungry? Yeah. So then what happens? I love this kind of moment. Dude, so I cut him off. Dude, he just fucked up because all the stars aligned. I was right up the street.

Otherwise, I would never get there in time. So I was headed to that dragon. So I cut him off. And he's like, no, man. He's in the car going, no, man. I go, no, no, no. And I'm calm in this situation. So I go to open the door.

I go, get the fuck out. What door? His door? His door. I go to open it. I go, get the fuck out the car. And it's this thing? That's it.

That's him. And he car. What door? His door? His door. I go to open it. I go, get the fuck out the car. And it's this thing? Okay. That's him. And he goes. What's it called? And if you remember, Joanna says that he did not come out calm. He was immediately a beast of a husband. Right. Yeah, yeah. So he's saying he was calm and he wants to be like, hey, so let's handle business, huh?

Right. Step out of the car. Yeah. You know what I mean? Let's just go talk over here real quick. The fucking, let's go over here over here really quick the fucking let's go over here and talk real quick nope

and I go get the fuck out the car he goes nobody got rolled down the window I just very calmly I go

do you have a gun he goes what I go do you have a gun he goes no I go very cool

get the fuck out the car very cool he goes no man I go no no I heard you I thought keep the same energy you're

threatening my wife and kid man i'm the husband bring bring his bitch ass up here well here i am get the fuck out the car he goes no and i go dude i'm telling you get the fuck out the car he goes man i'm just having a rough morning i go dude i can't emphasize enough your morning's about to get a lot fucking worse get out the car he's like nope not getting on the car i'm like dude get out the car he's like i'm not gonna fight in the middle of the road i go all good dude you just turn around you see that dumpster behind the starbucks i'll fight you behind there i'm telling you no i won't talk any thoughts um i mean i like on the episode when i was talking about when he when he eventually kills us yeah this we're probably gonna have to hear a conversation like this yeah neither of us are

gonna get out of the car either no i'm gonna be like man listen have to hear a conversation like this. Yeah. Neither of us are going to get out of the car either. No. I'm going to be like, man, listen, I was having a rough like two years. And like, I didn't, I mean, really it was, like I said, it was Gerardo's idea. Remember the chair thing? I'm holding the chair. He's trying to rip it up. And I'm in the bathroom with the Sharpie. Because I'm so terrified.

You want one last Sharpie. One last Sharpie before he kills us, dude. I think being killed by Brennan Schaub would be pretty funny. But unfortunately, we would die. Yeah, we would die. It would be hard for our loved ones. But that's surely committing to the bit. That's the worst intro to this podcast.

It's just like in the background, it's time for my favorite. Brennan Schaub is killing us. Hopefully, someone else would take it up when we're both dead. Yeah. We'll pass the torch. Just drive your fucking car there, and I'm going to fuck you up right by that dumpster. And he's like, nah, the thing is, and I'm like. The thing is.

What did he say? What is the thing? My kid and wife are just like, I can see them watching, and I'm just super calm. And I'm like, no, dude, just we'll do it here, we'll do it there. But either way, you can't talk to people like this, man. You think you're tough?

Talking shit to an innocent female and two kids? I said, you said you were going to fuck kids up. He's like, I never said that. And I go, Tiger. I said, he's a... He's getting his son involved. Not the best move yeah yeah tiger's robin in the situation right did he threaten you he goes yep i go there you go dude get the fuck out the car he goes no man i go dude i'm telling you just go over there i'm gonna figure this out he's like the thing just fucking almost gets in a fucking wreck and just takes off.

And I hear my kids like, yeah! Wow. And the kids cheered. And then I turned around and I said, and Bossy, what was the lesson today? Don't hit mom's car? I'm like, sure. That's fine. Also, fuck around and find out. Fuck around and find

out. Fuck around and find out. Fuck around and find out. Fuck around and find out. He's too big. He gets stuck. No, it's slow. It's all... This podcast usually gets like 70,000 views. Yeah.

It now gets 70,001, dude. I'm going to listen every week, Danny. This is grade A comedy right here. That's like Austin Powers. No, with Fat Bastard. They were doing the wire work. Remember Fat Bastard? And he gets stuck.

And he's like, they show the six little Asian guys trying to hold him up. But this guy, this is the internet in a nutshell. There's no repercussions for your actions. And I told Tiger, I'm like, that's... Speak on it.

Repercussions, the actions. Now he's taking this... What does this have to do with the internet? Nothing. He's taking this clip of that maybe happened. There's still no proof that this happened. That is about a guy yelling in real life at his wife. And he's saying these fucking internet haters, dude.

He's talking about you and me, Davey. Yeah. Even though we didn't counter manner. Well, I believe his story up until that point. Sure. We're not hating. No, no. We were, as we said many times, we're fans of Bernie Sheldon.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if I would have known this was happening, I would have drove myself and like gotten in the car instead of telling him to get out. You know what I'm saying? Right. Handle street justice, daddy. I know.

Anytime, listen, if this really happened, Shob, I mean, me and Gerardo, we're not really good fighters, but we'll go there and fuck that guy up. Yeah. Or try.

He'll probably beat us up and then he'll have to save us or kill all three of us. Yeah, he'll probably end up just fighting us. He's like, yeah, fuck that guy. I'm going to fuck these two dudes up. Who do you think he'd choose?

Yeah, who would he choose? If like, so he fuck that guy. I'm going to fuck these two dudes. Who do you think he'd choose? Yeah. Who would he choose? If like, so he shows up at the Starbucks, we just happen to be there and the guy's there, but then he sees us. He's like, who does he fuck up first?

Oh, he looks at us and he's like, one second, you know, like say less. Stay inside, dude. Beats that guy up.

Comes back out, beats us up, goes and records 17 podcasts. Yeah. And then he'll, after we're on the ground lifeless, Beats that guy up. Comes back out. Beats us up. Goes and records 17 podcasts. Yeah, dude. And then he'll, after, when we're on the ground lifeless, he's going to say some shit like, no more walk me to my truck shit, huh?

Or something like that. I don't know. Exactly. That's exactly what he would say. Do a parody song now, motherfucker. Yeah. Do a Pratty song now, man. Pratty. We'd say something we don't even know what he means.

Yeah. He'll like botch the words so we're kind of like fucked up or like, what? The last thing we ever hear is a thing we can song now, man. Pratty. We said something we don't even know what he means. He'll like botch the words. So we were kind of like fucked up. We were like, what? The last thing we ever hear is a thing we can't understand. Yeah. He's like, my boy Chin can cook, huh? And he walks away.

Let's see. The bully dude. I said, notice how his tune changed when I confronted him. Because he can beat you and your mom up, but he can't beat me. For now. So look how, yeah me for now so look how yeah for now yeah give tiger another year yeah yeah give him another year i said but that see how his energy changed when i showed up and joanna goes joanna i called her after it

so stupid it took way too fast so wait i don't think i've seen this far. I don't know what else, but I think that's the story. I told Joanna, she goes, you know what's fucking terrifying? She goes, how calm you were. She's like, that scared the shit out of me. People that can fight and handle themselves aren't all crazy. She goes, you just walked out and went, do you have a gun?

He's like, no. I was like, cool, get out the car. Well, yeah, it's always better to be calm. I guess the better answer would be yes in that scenario then. I guess if Brendan Chavez comes up to you and says calmly, do you have a gun, you have to go, yes. Oh, yeah. A mini.

Yeah. As far as guns go, I'm not a numbers guy, but it's a lot in here, Daddy. We got to be conscious of this, though, too, dude, because if he comes here, somehow finds us. Oh, two golden hour jackets over there? Oh, okay, cool. Say less. He's going to be like, do you have a gun? Or we go like, we have a gun!

He's just like... When I pull out my golden hour jacket, I'm going to have those guns thing all over that shit, Danny. Don't come at me. I know how to shoot a gun. No, I'm just kidding. I'm pro-anti-violence. No violence. This is all skits and bits.

No guns here., no violence. I don't like violence. It's all bits. It's all skits and bits. No guns. No guns here. Yeah. It escalates the situation. Yeah. Yeah, it's like, I guess, to equate it to something that I know about, like it's like when people are like, how do you deal with hecklers? It's like, it's the same. You've been there.

It's the same. You've been there. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. I mean, you're not going to get your fucking head caved in, but. I wasn't going to cave his head in. No, I know.

Tiger asked, what would you do? I'm like, I wouldn't throw a punch. I would just wait for him and then I would get out the way and choke him unconscious and I'd put him back in the truck and film him. Put him back in the truck and film him? That's almost exactly what I thought he was going to say.

I'm now worried that my brain is redacted because I predicted him being like that he was going to choke him out, but not put him back in the car. That's a funny thing. As he comes through, I'm filming, there you go. There you go. You know you fucked up, right? That would be so funny.

The other guy. That would not be funny. That's a maniac. I mean, maybe in the moment it sounds like it'd be funny, but if you really think about filming a guy that looks like he's dead after you beat him up, that would look really weird online.

Well, let's keep in mind here, too, that the two on the sides, just get some bits. Oh, yeah. Bapa, quick comedy. He's not doing skits. He's being 100% serious. This is a serious podcast. Yeah.

Whoa. What? I missed the beginning. Why was he doing it? Yeah, that's what I was going to ask, too. What happened? Yeah. Said the producer missed the beginning. Why was he doing it? Yeah, that's what I was going to ask too. What happened? Yeah. Said the producer of the show.

He's in that big fucking construction, like city truck, and he couldn't fit through the drive-thru. Okay. So he was reversing, and Joanna just gave her like a, like beep, like, oh, I'll get out the way.

Right, right. And then the car behind her, because she was backing up, held on the horn. I guess he thought maybe it was hers, but he was pissed. And then she was like, oh, I'm going to get out the way so he can back up. And that's when he got out and started hitting the car. She's like, whoa,

dude. But what if you saw footage, and it was really this. It was really Joanna going like this. Hee hee hee hee hee. And I just, what? That's funny drops the n-word dude what well I missed that because I said it legally whose shop said that yeah he says drops the n-word out of nowhere TV yeah there was a time we got a little ghetto cuz she pulled up yeah fuck you drop the n-word Fuck you up. Drops the N word. I'm like, whoa. Hey. Whoa. It's like all her fault.

That's all her fault. Yeah. He did nothing. Yeah. No, but there was a time. He's crying. He's like, I just want, you know. I just want my cappuccino.

No, sit there. No, there was a time when I was like, okay, this is getting weird. And Jonah was like, yeah, talk that shit now. Yeah. I'm like, calm down. I mean, yeah, talk that shit now. Yeah, I'm like, calm down. Yeah, but I get that. I mean, to be a woman and have to deal with that must be bananas. Yes, Chris, put yourself in the shoes of a woman.

Yeah, imagine if that guy in the commercial work truck asked you to get a tattoo. You know what I mean? Yeah, or call your daddy. Yeah. Bro, and, you know, I don't fault her for being like that afterwards. I mean, I know you don't want to escalate the situation in any way, but, like, God, that must feel so good for her, dude. Oh, she was like, I've never been so turned on. There you go. That's what it took?

That fat construction guy? No, it's not the fat construction guy. Of course I can whoop his ass. You don't know that from the get-go? Yeah, but you came to her rescue. Oh, dude, I'm talking under 45 seconds. No, I know, I know. And Tiger's like, Jesus.

Hang tight. You got a gun? That's funny. What if that was a superhero catchphrase? Like the lamest superhero ever? When he shows up, like the amazing Shav, he says to the criminal, you got a gun? And then if the criminal goes, yes, he's like, goodbye. That is so funny, dude.

I want a comic book where that just happens over and over again. He beats the guy up. He chokes the guy out and films it if he doesn't have a gun. But if he does, he's like, see you later. No, he says, say up. He chokes the guy out and films it. If it's a, if he doesn't have a gun, but if he does, he's like, see you later. No, he says,

say less and say less. Yeah. Oh, fuck. That's him. Say less. Oh my God. That's so funny.

Yeah. The ghostbuster siren on his car. Yeah. Lightning Ford thing. That'd be sick. We can call Brendan. Well, that's a good... All the stars align. That's funny. The guy just fucked up.

You think, man, I'm just having a bad morning. I can get that. It's about to get a lot worse, dude. Yeah. Wow. Weird. Well, at least you didn't. I'm down for that shit. Look, you didn't have to fight, you know?

I had nothing to say. I just think it's so funny. Having a bad morning, well, it's about to get a lot worse, man. I mean, ultimately, I don't think you wanted to. I promise you I wanted to. Well, if you wanted to fight, it would have been... No, I'm worried about getting sued. No, I can't. No, no, no, I can't, you wanted to. I promise you I wanted to. Well, if you wanted to fight, it would have been.

No, I'm worried about getting sued. No, I can't. No, no, no, I can't because I told him that too. I'm like, dude, you get out of the car, you're going to get fucked up. Well, yeah, that's what I'm saying. I'm giving him warnings because if he's filming or it's because he's in a city truck, I've given him several warnings. Don't get out of the truck.

He almost fucked himself. He's so stupid. Now he's jacking off his fingers. He's a mor almost fucked himself. He's so stupid. Now he's jacking off his fingers. He's a moron, dude. He's so fucking stupid. Don't make me do this. So if it's on trial or it's in the court of law, he did warn his ass several times.

That's what goes through my head. I know, but I don't know that. I don't actually think that's going to help you in court. He immediately thinks about the lawsuit. 500 pages of lawyers, dude. Yep. Monster. No, except for the fact that they could. Like if you're Bruce Lee and you have the skills to kill someone.

That's not true. That's what I'm saying. You can't be like. These are like lethal weapons. Get out of the car. Like don't get out of the car. I'll fuck you up. No, I gave him a warrant.

I said get out of the car. He doesn't know. Except for he could. They could argue that when he got out of the car He took it as a like a life-threatening. That's why some if you get out of the car I'm assuming you want to engage in a sin what I'm saying. I really wanted to I used to play the soon in high school Oh, I used to make a lot of assumptions Fine I mean there were there's ways to get him out of the car

I mean you could have been like you know trust me he wasn't getting out of the car what's that yeah but that must have been disappointing then long clip you walked up and you were hoping that he was a tough guy yep trying to prove because then you're like yes I was just hoping it wasn't Francis and Donna yeah yeah yeah I was like babe is he black she's like nope I'm, I'll be right there. Oh, God. So fucking weird. Yeah. I mean, yeah.

I'm not even going to address that. Yeah, right. He's a racist. Anyways, what's your final thoughts on that whole thing? I don't think it happened properly, but, you know, it's entertaining. Yeah. Something to talk about. I think it happened, but it's like, dude, they're starved for just like, I mean, not

they, because comedians can talk all day and just like about nothing. Right. You know what I mean? But like, I almost said Cooney. Shop is just fucking starved for like a story to tell on a show, dude. That's so crazy. Yeah. Well, I mean, he has so many shows, so I get it.

I get it. All right. So this one is posted by Guild G it's called your boy's back let's see what this is about i have a whole bunch of people working for me at the time i've never been the guy to give people like um oh you could yeah you can control this never it's not my thing that's why i'm at where i'm at but somewhere along the line i lost my way and I started delegating certain things to people. And you notice, like two years ago, three years ago, four years ago, my social media was awful. Because it's not me.

It's not me. Those days are gone. It's not me. Notice, fast forward now, had to take time off from stand-up. I'm doing too much. I got cut back on the shows. I was going down a bad road, man. I control it. My social media, your boy's back. I've been back by the year now everything you see now is my decision

Notice how much better it is better. It is much more positive. I am. I'm a positive person positive person. Oh, really? No, it's over your boys back your boys back Your boy's back. Your boy's back. Your boy's back. Imagine. I've been back about a year. About a year. About a year. I was going down a bad road, man. About a year. About a year.

Bad road. Yeah. About a year. About a year. Oh, shit. The laughing one. Full Metal Jacket, great movie, never seen it. Oh, man. Yeah, I mean, it's social is not better, really. Yeah.

So, you know, actually, different. Different. All right, dude, I love Gilly Guitar Clips, though, dude. Yeah. I said dude twice. Let's see here. This one's posted by At Borderline. It's called Just Consenting Adults Be.

Uh-oh. Let's see and i'm gonna keep my hands to myself oh god unless i get the go ahead a glance a comment why does he think this is funny just consenting adults well she's so immune to my sexual harassment that she just rolls her eyes i've been sexually harassing her for well since i've known you yeah yeah since am i allowed to tell the story of our when you really sexually harassed me and you're like can i get a ride in my car and i was like sure and you got in the car and i literally literally, like, turned the wheel, like, to, like, look where I was going, and I turned around, and your dick was out.

Just consenting an adult. Yeah. So weird. Yeah, he's like a character from Twin Peaks or something. Yeah, like Euphoria. Yeah, like a villain in Euphoria. Like a villain, yeah. But it's too corny euphoria i understand the euphoria thing but it would be too corny to have that in that show they'd be like no

we the writers are like we went too far this time we jumped the shark they have a scene they have like assault scenes that are crazy but then they're like this is too much yeah we're a little bit they have kids doing drugs and dying and all that. The thing where the old guy is talking about consenting adults, let's cut that out. It's not realistic. Chin, let's cut that out, Chin. Also, what I take

away is that he got... Bapa got his walk me to my truck thing from Callan. Oh, yeah. He asked Whitney to drive him to his car. Right. Bapa's like, cool story, bro. While we were driving, let's walk. It's a logical conclusion, you're right.

When your big bro does that. This one's posted by Successful Egg 8345. It's called Joe's new 1000 HP4 truck has arrived. Bapa must be exhausted keeping up with Joe. So I think this is an AI song, but if it gets cut out of the YouTube,

it's because it's music. Okay. If I buy a Ford truck, will you love me, Joe? If I buy a Ford truck, will you invite me to the mothership? I'm going to start crying. Driving me nuts. Sounds like the Decembrists. me nuts. Traffic me nuts. Joanna spends all my money.

Sounds like the Decembrists. Pretty soon thick boy studios be shut down. You guitar be. So if I buy a Ford truck, will you love me, Joe?

Yeah. Beautiful song. All right. I thought that was a nice little intermission for the show. Let's see the next clip here. It's called Liberal is Tough These Days. Love the title. Posted by ConfidenceSearch8648. I haven't seen this one myself. it's called liberal is tough these days love the title posted by confidence search 8648

i haven't seen this one myself you know he likes rfk a lot yeah yeah you know he also liked bernie sanders you know people think joe's this far right guy he's more of a liberal but the definite definition of a liberal they move the the field goal post on that. So liberals are tough these days. And there's basically two teams. What do you guys think of that take? It's not a take. Thank you. There's no take.

No take detected. Beanie guy's head's exploding. Yeah, Beanie guy's like, well, I don't really understand what you said. I got nothing. As usual.anie guy's like, well, I don't really understand what you said. I got nothing. As usual. I bring nothing to the table, beanie guy. He never asks what they think of his take,

so they just think he said, oh, what else you got? Yeah, it's like the same. So they just bring up another story. This one's called Reheated. Sure, Sandler went on Toe's podcast, but he's way bigger fan of Boppa. Oh, shit.

Posted by I Downvote Cake Days. I haven't seen that user in a while. Let's see. Have you ever met Adam Sandler? Oh, yeah. How is he? Oh, yeah. Oh, shit. My girl's like, that's my North Star. That's Adam Sandler. I didn't recognize that at first. I'm like,

that guy looks like Adam. Finished peeing. He walks by. I'm like, I don't know, man. She's like, no, you're at the Comedy Store. I'm sure he sees you at the end. I'm like, I've never seen him you at the end i'm like i've never seen him there i'm telling you i've never seen him there yeah i was at the comedy store two nights before i think he was around then when he's there and he goes hey and i can't he could tell i was looking at him and i'm like telling my kids about him he walks over he goes what's up bro i'm like no way what's up man he goes hey and i walk over what's up mr sandler came to me he's like you're that funny guy that kicks ass. You're the ass kicker that tells jokes.

You're the tough guy that does comedy, right? Motherfucker, that's Adam Sandler. Revisiting an old dude. Yeah, I'm sure we've gone over this a lot, but it is funny. Who's your North Star? My North Star? The fans. No, come on.

A political answer. I don't know. Hey, you're that tired guy that has. No, come on. A political answer. I don't know. Hey, you're that tired guy that has small teeth but much. Yeah, that's me. If Cal Ripken Jr. said that to me, it would mean a lot. Is he my North Star? Maybe. I told you yesterday.

I texted you. I said I was at an open mic where three people listened to our show. I was like, I found my home. I felt like a fucking celebrity, dude. Dude, honestly, I guess it would mean a lot to me if I somehow ran into Cal Ripken Jr. or Ken Griffey Jr. and they were like, hey, Tim is the shop. Or they're like, hey, you're Netflix.

I think I would shit my pants. Yeah. Yeah. If Tim Salmon walked up to me and was like, Tim is the shop, I would die. Yeah, that Tim Salmon walked up to me and was like, 10 minutes of shot, I would die. Yeah, that would be something. All right, so this is called Talk Around the Water Cooler, posted by Hap Hazard, our guy B.

Let's see. Let's get into the fights, though. Let's get into the fights. Casey, I heard you had a horrible outing performance golfing this weekend. Who said that? That's Talk Around the Water Cooling this weekend. Who said that? That's talk around the water cooler. Mark, did Mark tell you that? When I say around the water cooler, I mean me peeing in the sink and Mark talking to me.

Mark played bad. Mark had a terrible round. I'm sorry. I started thinking. Now all I'm thinking about is people like Ignal. Like it would be pretty cool if Allen Iverson. Did you hear what he said? No.

Can you rewind? I completely. Did you hear what he said? No, can you rewind? I completely... Are you serious? In my head, all I could think about was meeting Allen Iverson and him knowing about Temos. Oh, okay. I was like, I'm surprised you had no reaction to that. Yeah, yeah. I didn't even hear. Literally, I was fantasizing about meeting Allen Iverson. Oh, okay. Let's see here.

Casey, I heard you had a horrible outing performance golfing this weekend. Who said that? That's talk around the water cooler. Mark, did Mark said that? That's a talk around the water cooler. Mark. Did Mark tell you that? When I say around the water cooler, I mean me peeing in the sink and Mark talking to me. Mark played bad.

Mark had a terrible round. Whoa. Is this an old clip? No, I'm pretty sure this is from this week. Okay. So he's leaning in a little bit. I want him to lean in more, Daddy. Okay, fuck.

That blew my mind. Yeah. We'll do a residency at Thick Boy Studios, dude. Not if he pees in front of us. I mean, no pee. We have to make rules. Yeah, we'll have a lawyer write it up. It's so funny.

It says Thick Boy next to his head. Yeah, Thick Boy. BTB. What does BTB mean? I don't know. Business to business. Oh, marketing genius. He thinks BTB means marketing genius BTB mean? I don't know. Business to business? Oh. Marketing genius? He thinks BTB means marketing genius.

Let's see. You said you and him had the worst outing this weekend. No. I shot an 82. I had a birdie. I had two bad par threes back to back. If I par those par threes, I'm shooting a 78 and more good. But you didn't.

An 82 is fine. That's a serviceable score. Could we have improved? Yeah. Was it the worst round of all time? No. Where's your beanie, you jerk? Yeah.

Oh, we're allowed to show up to Thick Boy without a beanie now when your name is Beanie Guy? Yeah. We call you Beanie Guy. We think we call you Beanie Guy for the folks of it. Yeah. Say less. Go home. That's so funny.

If we were in control of Thick Boy and he showed up like that, I'd be like, go home. What the fuck are you doing? Don't let this happen again. Yeah. Like, it's fucking 10 a.m. All right? Brendan Schaub's going to be back from his rubber tuck any minute now. He's going to show up and you don't have a beanie on?

The fuck? Yeah. Fucking go home. Yeah. I'm surprised they don't have beanies, like a closet for the beanie guy. Yes. Just a bunch of beanies. Yeah, they should. I'm a producer, daddy, so I'm looking at don't have beanies, like a closet for the beanie guy. Yes. Just a bunch of beanies. Yeah, they should.

I'm a producer, daddy, so I'm looking at the producing setup. They have a really big ATEM. I'll tell you that right now. Oh, fuck. They have the same thing we got, but huge. Damn. Not there yet.

Look at that thing. Damn. We got like a four-inch ATEM. They got an eight-inch one. That has like 180 buttons. I'm not even going to know this guy. There's a lot of buttons on that thing. There's three on that one. Oh, that's your takeaway?

And you? Mark shot like a 92. And I would probably shoot like 100? Yeah. Man, that's a bad night for Mark. Yeah. Mark is to not play well. I'd love to go with you guys. Mark is to not play well. Yeah. Honestly, I only care about golf scores when Legs is around.

Yeah. I have the hours. Come on out. I know. I would love to go. I would love to go. You have the hours to take off a wrap for 48 hours. I don't know if you noticed, but there's no more Tiger Thick in the studio also. Fuck. It's a fucking sad day, dude. Yeah, dude. I gave up.

God damn it. some problem with the thing in denver problem with this goddamn keyboard dude you got a tiger thing problem y'all let's see here um the next one is okay so i watched this clip already uh it might get good douche because of the song on it yeah it's called just how boppa and the 250 consider comedy to be the hardest job on the planet lego head really thinks that selling feet picks for four bucks on only fans is hard work. God dog, thick boy stews really knows how to pick them.

Um, and let's see what she says and then we'll talk about it. Okay. Like a lot of people give girls who have social media as a career, a really hard time. Like, Oh, this is some vapid career choice that is only going to last

for as long as you're hot and then you meet them and they're always so smart so hard working so diligent about their work like very often these are just young business women so i hate when people are like oh social media is stupid you only think it's stupid because it's a woman brand industry that's really it this is one of the few industries where women are like leading the way and making crazy money. Come on, dude. What the fuck? That's not, is that for real? Yeah.

That's so funny, dude. I mean, her standing on the, that's so fucking funny. Damn. So I, I agree with her. Yeah, no, I mean, she's making a point that could be true but then as she's making it she shows the opposite of that yeah right standing on a desk with a bunch of papers on the ground yeah looking very vapid like that you're can you imagine someone doing that at work what would you do if someone was crouching at you're the boss you come in and there's your staff that you've hired that you pay is crouching on top of a desk with all

the papers on the ground yeah what would you do you'd be like all right i guess come to my office so we can talk about what's going on no i would look at mike and be like where's your beanie yeah that wouldn't even bother you because it's like there's a way bigger problem over there i believe her though, dude. Because you know why? I bought eight frozen pizzas eight days ago. I ate one a day. I have zero frozen pizzas now.

You can't do that if you're selling feet pics, daddy. Exactly. You know? You don't want fat feet. 100%. You know? You can't be on OnlyFans with fat feet. No.

She's doing something that we couldn't do. Diet? Hell no, daddy. You've got fat feet and my feet, they look bad. We've talked about my hammer toe. Yeah, exactly. I don't want to talk. I'm worried that people are going to pick up on that.

I don't want to talk about it anymore. There's going to be some weird thickies out there that are like, let me see. I doubt it. I don't. Do you remember when I, you were, I guess you didn't know me back then, but when I post pictures of my feet, I got a lot of hate. Oh. Yeah.

Jesus Christ. People are like, I quit comedy. I deleted my Facebook. Yeah. All that shit. me back then but when i post pictures of my feet i got a lot of hate oh yeah jesus christ people are like i quit comedy i deleted my facebook yeah that shit there's a weirdo that just turned off the episode and is on a wayback machine like where's those pictures at you know i don't even know if they're still up um all right so this is called no way he found a single bed truck posted by dicey redact let's see what this is about 100 resto mod his face dude look at his face it's and he's keep in mind he's watching a video that he made so he's like he's very intrigued by his own words he's like so funny like he's an auteur is that the word a tour okay straight up

the best vehicle i've ever driven. I love single bed trucks. This thing's absolutely ridiculous. Has a Gen 3 Coyote motor in it. Check this out. This is how I look when I edit T-MOS. I'm just like staring at this with my cheeks for some reason being ultra juicy. Yeah. You know?

Yeah. You always eat right before. Yeah. It's clean right before. Yeah. It's clean. Drives clean. Look at this. Yeah. I don't know what we're supposed to watch there.

Yeah, I want him to describe what drives clean means. Yeah. So next episode, Bobo, if you could. Drives clean. There's no straws on the floor. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. All right. So this one's calleds on the floor. Yeah, yeah, exactly. All right.

So this one's called Bet on Himself, You Little Bitches, posted by Dicey Redact. Let's see here. That's NBC or CBS. I'm like, yeah, your dad got his dreams wrecked there twice. But I don't say that. Dude, I spent five years. You know, I'm like, oh, dad pitched several shows there

that they never picked up. Yeah. That place is a hellhole. Sure. Sure. And Bugs Bunny doesn't live in that fucking tower. The number of times I've spent. I know Animaniacs, you little bitches.

I've shot. They offered me another six-year contract, and I was just looking around, and Showtime was great to me. You know, I was getting a salary, and, you know, they were reaping the benefits, and it was good for both sides. I just thought, man, I feel like I could do this on my own you know i am an entrepreneur i feel like i could i see what they bill and you know and i've helped them out a lot they've helped me out a lot i feel like i can invest in myself and do this on my own so i turned down the contract little bitches number one dad in podcasting interesting that's such a funny yeah that looks like a photoshop though oh okay i could be i wish he did it himself though because it seems like something like dude i bet this will move more shit if i put fucking number one dad like who's doing that

all right we got another dicey redact clip he's trying to make a bop a sauce in the subreddit right now it's called come out of the closet, boys. I'm going to play some of this clip, not the whole thing, because there's a large section from South Park, and you probably have already seen it. So let's see. I see him running around the stage. I go, you're gay.

Now you become gay. You were. Why are you gay? Now he's gay. He's a gay man. He's a fully gay man. When you watch his special, he's gay. He's a gay gentleman. He's a gay man. He's a fully gay man. When you watch his special, he's like, and you go, what?

Why? What is this disease? What's wrong with you? And instead, he's fully gay on stage in Dallas in front of 45 people being like, the lion is at my door. It's just it's puzzling.

You had a gun to your head and you had to jerk off on any man's face on the planet. Who would it be? It don't taste like chicken. It's crazy when you realize that. It tastes like cock. It's crazy that you realize

cock. It's Joe Rogan singing the come out of the closet like R. Kelly song. We got a Tim Dillon problem, y'all. And then we got this part here. So much easier if I was just gay as shit. I wish I was gay. It looks way easier. We'd like play video games

all day. We'd work out. At night we'd fuck each other. You're hanging out with only guys. No one can get pregnant. If this stops comedians doing that premise, that's all for good. Yeah. Right?

Maybe Joe Rogan and Chop are just doing it so people won't do it anymore. Oh, so you're saying comedians are going to stop and not double the funny up? Cool story, bro. Yeah. You're wrong. In my dream world, yes. Yeah. You think that's it?

Dude, that's funny. That's funny as it is. Oh, you think they're going to stop doing the gay bit? And then you go... Joe Rogan never does bits about if he were gay. You put Joe Rogan in the room and tell him to make a 15-minute set. You think he's not going to bring up that he might be gay? You got to do it like you normally do one more, but do the after.

Because you do it so good after. You have to be saying nothing when you do it. Oh, so when Joe Rogan writes a bit about time machines, he's not going to end up sucking his dick? Good. You're a master at it. You're holding back a little bit right now, I feel like. I know.

It's so hard for me to do the, what is it called? What's that saying? Play a monkey or jump monkey, whatever. Oh, I don't know. But that bit, that's a classic bit. Yeah, that's so funny. You don't even have to say anything. It's funny.

Good work. All righty. So that's your takeaway, huh? Let's see here. This one's called Boppa Planned a Fight Camp for Callan, posted by Haphazard. This is the last clip for the day, so let's enjoy it, fellas. Now, quick question.

If you're going to go to Dagestan, is that camp still there? Did they shut that down? Dagestan. I didn't say I was going to Dagestan. Okay. I assumed you were. No.

It's actually pronounced Dagastan. I don't know. He didn't get it right there. Right. True. I'm not going to go to Dagestan. I thought you were going to go down to the guzzled daggy cum no I don't do that

I don't do that it's doggy it's doggy stuff I went down to doggy style Australia because it's Doggystan so it's doggy cum

oh yeah yeah doggy cum that's where it's like a convention for people from Doggystan where they all cum and they're all like

doing fucking jujitsu or whatever yep whatever the fuck I'm going to find you know that Brendan just said he's going to drink where they all come and they're all like doing fucking jujitsu or whatever yep whatever the fuck I'm gonna find you know that Brendan just said he's gonna drink

ducky cum right is that what he just said that's what he said can you rewind that's why I was saying ducky cum sorry I was thinking about

Allen Iverson again oh Allen Iverson almost as fuck as hilarious yeah he'll hit us with a couple of crossovers

if he comes on that's a guy that scooped up of the bag. Sorry. Assumed you were. I'm going to go find Fedor Emelyenko. I thought you were going to go down to the guzzle daggy cum. No, I don't do that.

I don't do that. I'm going to find Fedor Emelyenko and I'm going to study the ancient 60-year-old. He's like, I'm going to go to Denver. Are you going to go there to fucking Denver a guy off? Oh, yeah. You're going to drink Mountain Cum.

I'm going to Austin. Oh, you're going to Austin. Are you going to blow all Austin the guys there? I'm sorry. Please do that. Yeah. Yeah. You're going to take a plane from Dagestan To Russia, right?

Now you're in Russia Those guys are heavyweights So you're gonna think you're mean with Fedor Now you're gonna meet his brother His brother's a fucking half a criminal With all those tattoos and that big white belly He might still be in prison either way Bring up his brother for a second

Show the back tattoo and ask what he went to prison for Oh no Not good Show the back tattoo and ask what he went to prison for. Oh, no. Oh, my God. Not good. So, you're going to go... Oh, God, dude! Yeah. Come on.

Oh, my God. Be cool. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yikes. Yikes. Scary clip to end. The most menacing clip of all time.

Just to haunt your nightmares. Jesus Christ, dude. That's a problem right there. That face. You got Brian Cannon problem y'all yeah anyways if you guys want to see us

on our lives Wednesday night 8 p.m. daddy yes we do more skits and bits on there too so it's not just us talking about TLDR

or reading which we get into that too though if you're interested you know yeah shout out to Too Lazy Try thanks for doing that video about us and also join the Patreon we have another Patreon this week

where this is going to go in the accent alright see you next week bye