10 Minutes of Schaub - Brendan Schaub IS ACTUALLY AARON HERNANDEZ! | 10 Minutes of Schaub #152

Episode Date: September 3, 2026

NEW REDDIThttps://www.reddit.com/r/raccoon_tweetiesJOIN OUR PATREON!https://www.patreon.com/raccoontweetiesJoin the discord!https://discord.gg/z7eSGTE6hGFollow Raccoon Tweeties on Social Media!https://linktr.ee/RaccoonTweeties

Black, black, black, black, black beside, black, black, black, black, black, black, Oh, at the edge of the sing, I peed in, peed in the drain, because I drank drank drank a big girl, went how he asked me, I told him No. Never peed in the sink. Never peed in the sink. One take. Welcome back to 10 minutes of shop. Thanks for tuning in. As always, join the Patreon, join the Discord, join the Reddit.

We go live on Wednesdays. Follow our other show. Raccoon Tweeties. That comes out on Thursdays. And you get early access to Tmos. If you subscribe to the Patreon. On the Patreon this week, we watched Tim Dillon's news. special. Do you remember what it was called? I'm your mother. I'm your mother, okay? I'm your

chef. Anyways, that's not why they're here today. I'm your girlfriend now. Yeah, I mean, that's really important. They're here to watch Tim as a shop. Yeah. So start the timer, play the chain clip. All right. We are ready to move to Austin, folks. I think it's happening in May, right? Yeah. Yeah. I think so. I think that's when it's going to happen. This first one's posted by riffraff the alley cat. I thought I was in the kitchen on my day off when I came across this. It's a good year police department caught in action and it looks like Shob, but it looks like it's just a cop. Whoa. It looks so much. That guy looks so much like Shab. Yeah, long lost Latino brother or something. Damn, dude. Can you imagine you get pulled over by Shob? I mean, me and you

probably not going to end good for us. I know. We'll kill us. He will not leave us unscathed. He'll pretend like where, you know, oh, is it going? You won't even ask if we have a gun. I'm going to carry an extra Diet Coke now from now on just in case. You're like, hey, I got a Diet Coke here. He's like, sick.

Shob pulls people over and he's like, all right, I'm going to show you my license. Here's my license in my registration. I'm a cop. He shows her wallet. I would want to be a cop just to let people off. Be like, you're good. Yeah?

You know? Just like, make their day or I guess I don't know like if you do you have a gun pay less let's see here

the next one is going to be posted by Icarus lives it's called Pimp my Trug and I think it's a clip we already seen let's see what's up guys it's a special Friday here

because I told my brother-in-law Stephen I would hook his Bronco up for Austin I'm headed there very soon So today is the day. When we first got your car, it was all jacked up. Old family truck to stop. We took it up with this wonderful kind hood with Cadizius on it.

And check this out. Try to open the door. Don't open, huh? No. In your car, you can be the lookout for the police. So just in case some suspicious activity is happening in the beach or near your hood, you can see that. You can see it.

Everything. And you can notify your local police. least department. All right, fan, your boy's done. Start at 8 a.m. Never said I was fast. He never said a badass. He's a real truck.

He has a company called Drive Fast Hall Gas. I mean, he's never, and this thing always does that, like the dumb jock guy. That guy from Pimp My Ride, I'm going to pull a shop thing. I met that guy. Oh, really?

Yeah, he came up. He's like, you're the guy that does that shop shit right now. But I really met him. I met it. Like he came and I was working this ice cream truck and there's something wrong with it this festival he came and fixed

and I was like, you're the guy and I pimp my ride, right? He's like, yeah, that's me. You work too much. He's like,

you're that guy that graves too much, huh? Yeah, he knew I had graves disease. All right, let's see. The next one's posted by Brendan Schab Brain.

Miho sold Abolita's house. Whoa. I guess it's a house that sold for 1.3 mil. That's the house that he just bought her like a year ago. Mm-hmm.

And you already sold it? Is she going with them to Austin? I mean, if you're going to be selling, you know what I mean? If you're going to be married to a Latina, you got to bring her mom. Oh, I see. I see. Yeah. Okay.

Also, free babysitting. Also, free to quitos. He's like doing a video. He's like, all right, fam. Actually, all right, fam. We sold my mom's house, my mother-in-law. So I put some, I took off all the doors of the house and I pimped it with the, you can see now that criminals can get in and out. Let's see here. The next one's going to be posted by Tied Up 412.

It's called Simple Bapa, like from Simple Jack, Tropic Thunder. Nice. Good, good AI work here. I love you. What does he say? Jenny. You make me feel happy. I'll stop. I'll cut that part. Let's see here. The next one's posted by I downvote cake days. Bapa can't even convince himself the family wants to move. 11 seconds, is that what you got with that? Let's see. Oh, I feel is there all week, man, with their family. Yeah. They love it out there already.

So we'll see, man. Count him down, baby. It does sound kind of like sad. Yeah, yeah. Like he's starting to maybe have doubts. He doesn't want to leave this great place he's built, everything, you know, the whole studio and all the stuff. Yeah, but you know, watching Tim Dillon specials filmed in The Mothership

gave me hope for Gringo Pappy 2. Oh, yeah? Yeah, well, yeah. The Mothership, that would be a great location. Yeah. That would be something. Brennan Schaub at the Mothership. David Lucas did it.

He sucks. Why not Brennan Scha? He's way bigger name. He should film a third special. You're right. Right. How's it even fit in that thing? Yeah.

With his crowds, dude? All the fucking proud boys and woke people and cops are in Harley David. Who are the people that drive Harle? Hell's Angels. Hells Angels, right? All them, dude? Yeah. I mean, you're making a joke out of it, but honestly, business-wise, right? Right. Best decision for him to make is to make another special. Yes. He's trying everything else. Pizza show fucking trying to bikes. Yeah. What else? Cowboys. Cowboys. He's a cop now? Dude, the one thing everyone wants is another special. Yeah, there's going to be a lot of views, Danny. If he just puts it out.

Plus, like, this podcast, like, you know, he's tired. It seems like he's tired and doesn't want to be there. Yeah, I mean, we're moving. It's almost tapping. They love it. Yeah. It's like on his phone. Writing bits.

Yeah. His own show. He's like, yeah. What else you got? There's no one there. Yeah. Well, that's interesting. What's interesting?

You're talking about your show. All right. We're done, right? Cool. Dude, you know, in a couple weeks, he's going to be like, I never stopped writing jokes for stand-up. and then that's going to slowly start the whole like going up at the mothership. Yeah, he's going to be like, I'm just like Rodney Danger Green, dude.

I'm fucking, I'm back, dude. I'm like Rodney Danger House. He confuses like because he's bought a house with the fucking. All righty, let's see what else we got here. The next one is going to be posted by dazzling Rabbit 633. I'm getting more and more convinced rinks will leave Bapa soon. Just in the green room. Why?

A couple of murderers. Because he's like happy that he's next to Tony and another murderer. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, I wonder what those shows are like. Like, is he crushing out there? Probably. He's Brian Cowen, so.

Yeah. Slow motion crushing. So in this room is if he doubled up the funny, you think? Yeah. Definitely. Yeah. Definitely. Right.

I mean, he'll keep you busy. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He wants to squeeze you. Just make sure there's enough stools on a stage. Mm-hmm. Three stools. This has got to stop.

Three stools? I'm going to keep you busy. Let's see here. This is posted by inner attorney. Yikes, things got dicey B. Rogan has not been able to shake the sling and dick allegations. Yeah, so I have not seen anything from this podcast. Oh, yeah, me neither.

Let's see. permanent relationship and that and the willingness also to not pursue any other women. Not. How do you understand? How does that make itself manifest in your life? I mean, I presume that you, I presume that, you know, you had opportunities of all sorts. I presume you do as well.

In principle, I suppose. They don't seem to come to me in a sense. Back in the day, guys like you would be banging their grad students. Not guys like you, but guys in your position, right? Wasn't that always the thing? This is a fascinating aspect of academic. Shut that off pretty much at the beginning. I have to slap pussy out of my face left and right.

I'm a lot like Shannon's shot by choke women. I got in trouble the other day because I messaged an only fan's woman who turned out to be a scam, but, you know, she didn't make her bed. Run Tony Bugsby. Tony Bugsby and his horse. I was caught up in it, but Joe, I wanted to know how you deny pussy.

Is it because you have sugar in your tank, Joe? The way, how do I? Well, really, I'm high most of the day. I take a lot of benzos. So I don't really even see a difference between men and women. I'm so tired most of the time. I'm on drugs, Joe, Rog. They seem to have completely stopped that.

Like, if you go back to Fine Men and Oppenheimer and... They were just avoided the question, dude. Yeah, no, he didn't. answer. I mean, dude, give it up for this chef right here, dude. Look at this. 9%, he's like, I gotta clip this. A low battery mode. No, the chefs don't care

dude. They will lose their phone. Give it up, dude. Great guys. Great guys never met him. They were talking about Oppenheimer, dude. More like Oppenheimen. He's fucking. Up and slammer. Up and slammer. Yeah, fucking.

Up and boner. alert. Just making Hopin boner alerts. Good, dude. There we go. Hopin jalapino emoji. Robert Toppenheimer.

Let's see here. Oh, fuck, dude. That's somebody else's. I didn't think of that. Damn, dude. I still like it. Toppenheimer's great. Hap hazard posted this.

RIP Clint. What do you think the RIP's in reference to? Something about him choking him again, maybe? Mm. Let's see. I'll take so much. And chin's sad. God damn it.

I'm a couple weeks late, dude. I'm wearing my fucking cowboy get up today. Oh, yeah, we haven't even commented on the hat. The cat is hysterical. The cat? The cat. Jeez, I said cat. I'm losing it.

Yeah, it took me a couple of reins to put this thing on today. Oh, yeah? How many? Two. Couple. Okay. Oh, a couple, yes. Yeah.

Bad shit. Jim as good. Jim could be. Chintz is a great. Functioning alcohol. Very highly functioning. He is a highly functioning. He's a high,

efficient, highly efficient. Alcoholic and creative user, which also means he's a drug addict. Yes. Let's be honest. Yeah, I'll take Sanaz. So we're going to have to go with Sanaz. We should do like a little course.

Yes, some sort of course. Well, have you got, what was last time you went to the doctor and really got checked out? Oh, let me tell Donnie's up barking. Like two months ago. We good, Brian. I do have some hard stuff. You have some hard stuff?

Some hard stuff. My resting heart rate is like 120. Oh my God. Some heart stuff. That's terrible. Is it? I don't really know what that. Resting heart rate 120?

What's it supposed to be? It should be like 70. Ooh. You know, that's the one downside. The only downside I would say about rain. Like if he's in there drinking all the rains all day long, which how can you not when they're so delicious? They're so all over the place.

This is like I don't want to almost die for like if you had just to put a sour gummy worm in front of me. I'm going to drink it. I mean, they make new ones all. This is a new one. Orange DreamSense. This is brand new. It's why he dies.

Because he had too much orange dreamsicle. Oh, fuck. I feel bad for him, but, you know. 120 resting heart rate is terrible. I wonder what's going on. He is also 70 years old. Yeah. He fucking, no wonder he has resting heart rate,

all the gunshots in his apartment, the food he eats. Yeah, if I heard gunshots all the time, my heart will be pounding. Yeah. Found of fish is not good for your heart. There's a dog barking while you're trying to produce a podcast? Yeah, why doesn't he leave the dog at home? We'll see. It's bad. Your resting heart weight is 120? Not all the time, but there's times, there's chunks of periods

of time when it is. So that means... This is not good. So they gave me some pills. Yeah, that's really bad, actually. I just chimed back. Now it's gone down to 110, 10, 109 with the pills, but that's still bad. That's, do you also have high blood pressure? Yeah, that's part of it. Yeah, Brian. That's why when we go to Austin, that weighs to well a place, whatever. Yeah, you need to do that right away. Right away. You don't need to be on a bunch of exogenous hormones. That's not going to help you.

Exogenous? Exogenous? Stop drinking and work out more. None of that shit is going to help you. You have, your job is to move more. Stop drinking. Stop taking all the drugs. All the drugs.

Or Kratem. Yeah. Stop taking Kratem? That's the first I've heard of that on this show. Wow, that's insane. He really is, the promo codes are ruining his life. Imagine you're like, what's a good arresting her? I'm like, 150.

That's what mindset? Fuck, dude, I'm a little bit worried about, they really do need chin to be healthy. That is wild. I guess it's because it's, you know, it could be, who am I to speculate, I don't know this guy, but you drink a lot. That's risky.

That's risky for your heart. Yeah. I don't even know. I don't drink at all. That's true. The drinking of the, the cratum, I don't think is good for you. Of course.

I mean... So what you need to do if you're serious is actually take your health more seriously, which means exercise and stop doing that. I exercise, bribe. No, the drinking thing is 100% something I need to absolutely... What do you mean you exercise? When? At least three times a week on treadmill.

Okay. So I don't jog mostly. I do fast walk on a... You know his resting heart rate is 120 to 109? Chances? Yeah. He's got high blood pressure. pressure. He's got a hearty.

They talk about it in front of him. Do you know chin is dead? You know what this chin guy? Chin is bleeding. What? You shouldn't be bleeding. And this is not good. You're going to, it's very possibly you could die.

Listen, fire kids aren't going around a long time. You're getting older. Chin's dying. It is possible that we'll get a call. This is what you, I want to avoid chin. Oh, no. Chin passed away and asleep. Stop.

Chin, your arrest and heart rates over 100? That happens. No, so at the peak, it was, so I would have to measure it every now and then. Yeah. Just to give me the number. Yeah. So it would be at 1.30. It would be at 1.30.

1.30. That's so bad. And then at the lowest, it would be 109. You know what mine is? 60. And when it goes to drugs and stuff, like, it's never been easier to get drugs. It's at the touch of a dial. That's right.

It's not the trend. It's at the touch of a dial. It's easy. And if it's not a touch with, if you're getting like recreational drugs, you can get up. Other drugs. This is what my whole special is about. This is what my whole is. I can't wait.

His whole special is about drugs and chin. Dude, I, this is making me, like, can chin do it from a hospital bed? Like, you see the studio,

he's like in the thing. He's got IV in. There's an episode of the pit where is, we got a podcast producer. His collateral nipple is failing. Dude, he's going to have a heart attack. Hopefully not.

Not going to wood. Yeah. That's terrible. Stop drinking, dude. No more tiger thick. Okay. No more sure shot. I mean, we could lose chin at the touch of a dial, dude.

It's a real, yeah, dude. He's a real. God might stop the tracks on him. It's a blog bust of situation, dude. Yeah. We don't know. That is horrible. Yeah, I mean, take care of yourself, bud.

You know, you got this show, you're producing, you got after hours. You are needed in this world, so. You're producing our show in a way. Exactly. Yeah. These clips that come out that you leave in, you leave in stuff where they talk about how you're dying. you know, we need that for sure. So, come on.

Come on, dude. Stay alive. Let's see here. What will we have next? Posted by Busy Middle 8108, Bapa finally admitting that when he told Rogan he benched 40, it was a lie. Let's see. And if you're pushing, right?

Well, that's like on Rogan, I told him, he goes, how many times you get 225? And the most I've ever done is 40. So many times. It's so many times. I 100% believe it. Oh, yeah. I actually saw you do, but, not. to interrupt you, but I did see with my own eyes you do,

I think you did 32 plus. And you're a big guy. And you did them and they weren't kidding. No. Yeah. So then I did. The interrupting is so funny. Because Jordan Peterson did the same thing.

He was like, Joe, do you ever have to turn down women? Because you seem like a guy that would have to do that. And Brian did it three times. It's an art form in this universe, the Rogan universe, where you ask a question. pause for a second to make them think that it's time to answer it, but then go, but also another thing is,

China. It's really tough. You know, everyone, like Rogan said, everyone should have headphones on all the time. Even with the cowboy head on. Yeah,

dude, the cowboy hag, it's almost like, damn, are we already in Austin? Yeah, it feels like it. You know?

Yeah. Where'd you get it? My new apartment. Oh, oh, yeah. It was already there. Somebody gave it. it to me they made it for me it says gerardo alicon on the inside you see that oh yeah yeah Gucci

100% Gerardo alicon it says damn dude I mean you're almost there yep uh 225 this morning 34 times so I'm six off from my ultimate goal how many times 36 but I got I that that's too I just got to get this bicep back uh one hondo one hondo and I think the four I can crank out that's a lot of so you did 34 times 36 I'm sorry 36 you did 306 you did 30 36. I'm four off. You did 36 times. 36 this morning. I'm four off. That is a lot of weight.

I know. I mean, that's pretty amazing. And when I said 40 on Rogan, I was like, I'm about right now. Like if, what if, what, Rogan was like, oh, do I get a gym in the back with us do right now? No, no, you are. You can do it. I can do it. It's fair.

But, yeah. You're, you're, you're, you're, in that exact moment, 35, I should have said 35. You are a freak. You're, you're very strong. I know, I just been doing it for a. And I don't like with that thing because like I've worked out with body billers like people that you. It's just like I'm so boring. And they're not very.

It's just so boring. Yeah. Who the fuck cares? Nobody cares. I did that once. But then I also was like doing, you know, weight lifting stuff. It's like a conversation you might hear at the gym. Mm-hmm.

If you didn't have your headphones in deity. But, you know, that's one thing we talked about on the live is that you think that's boring. Should we do the thing where if you comment if you want to see it? we were thinking about doing a live where we see if I can just do two plates on either side or one plate on each side. So 135 even one time. We want to see if I can do that. Should I try it later today when I go to the gym? You?

Yeah. No, spotter, because it's gay. No, you got to have it. No, it's gay. You're right. They're right. Shav said it's gay. That was spotter.

But maybe I should text Mark to get involved. Maybe we'd do that. What do you guys think? Comment if you want to lift 135 one time to see if I can do it. All right. Let's see. This looks like, what's his name? Godell or something like that. That's right.

Don't know who to ax posted this 2025 NFL draft update. Buffalo Bills shocked the world. Shoot for the moon, land on the stars, dude. I wonder what Chab would do if you put redact on his jersey. Would he even know? Probably not.

He'd be like, man, this is a cool way to spell my name. I'm number one, sick. Is this a promo code for the jersey? Is this a promo? He's offers to pay for the jersey. How much do you want for It's a good AI. AI. Let's see here.

This one's posted by Shoeless Von Eric. Thief for Sufferlin's new merch shop. Oh, fuck. Anti-electric car club. TRX giveaway drops May 1st.

Oh, shit. We might need this. That's the biggest one yet. Let's see. Oh. Skull with lightning bolts coming. That's all they put in the Google search and it was the exact same thing.

Just flipped. Yeah. Yeah, they got a guy, Google search this shit and then just use that. Yeah. The Photoshop approach. Wow. All right. Let's see here.

This is posted by Wonderful Salary 554-5-4-3-2. Theo just figuring it out still. I mean, it's so funny that you could look up Theo figuring it out and it'll be so many posts. Yeah. Just all these great accomplishments. Yeah. You know, are like big deals like Ben Affleck's biggest movie star probably or one of. I mean, great podcast guest.

I haven't heard this episode yet, but it's in my cue. You feel me? I bet it's good. I like Ben Affleck. It would be interesting to hear what he has to say to Theo Vaughn and what crazy shit Theo says to him. Or is like Burton's Leisler says it, Ben Affleck. Is that always? Oh, man.

Let's see here. Posted by, I hate that I know all this. Posted by Brownie 5599. This is too good to be true. Old Pick West standing next to seven foot monsters. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. So he's short, right?

I guess so. I remember back when he was on it and we didn't know who he was yet before he had his own subreddit. He was just some guy from prison that had like a workout or something. He's like, yeah, that's how you get jacked. I was like, oh, yeah, you did that.

I used to do that. There's 100% facts. I went to prison and had a cup of chino in there. Brian's like, you two are amazing specimens of men. I'll keep you busy. We did the whole podcast just now and we've only seen one second of it. I bet you what we just did

is exactly what they do. Copy paste, copy paste, copy paste. Yeah. Let's see here. Hard look. Wait, what? Hard look in the mayor posted by T-E-R-P-Clusive posted this, and it's a fat Bapa. Redacted Leap.

Oh, my God. I never even seen this movie. Oh, it's a TV show. Oh, okay. It's the guy he goes back in like time or something into different people, and he, like, fix their life back from when we were kids and we sold comic books out of our house. Wow. Nice. That's hilarious.

This is posted by Wonderful Salary 5432. The Bills chose Ariel over your boy. Ariel to announce a Buffalo Bills draft pick on day three of the NFL draft. Oh my God. I mean, that can't be coincidence, right? No, no, no. There's some trolling going on. Yeah. That's amazing.

That's great. It's like this, the subreddit has reached new levels. They can, they're now involved in the NFL draft. Yeah, dude. That's amazing. The beginning of the draft, they're like, we're homeless. Roger Goodell, but yeah, before the draft starts, he's like, hold on a second, I have to get on the phone with haphazard real quick and just work out some details.

So, yeah, what do you think? Haphazard's like, you're a little bit late, but I'll still talk to you. Yeah, let's see here. of this was posted by Frank Ducks 82. BJ Penn says C.T. isn't real. Will there be repercussions? CTE is fake BJ Penn. Yeah, right.

I kind of followed this when it was happening. I saw the post. Brandon Shob, Aaron Hernandez. CTE is a way for sports leagues to say expensive athletes in their 30s have brain damage. You need to retire and then pay young, no-name athletes, peanuts. It ain't about the money.

It's about the money. Is brain damage real? I'm sure it is. Is punch drunk real? I'm sure it is. Is slurred speech real? I'm sure it is. Hashtag Hawaii.

Hashtag Hawaii. Somebody needs a check on BJPen. We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task of life is finding reality. Okay. I think this is a troll post when I first saw it. If it's actually BJ Penn, it sounds like a troll post that's like someone pretending to be him.

No. It's on BJ Penn's. Oh, he's trolling. Yeah. I mean, he has brain damage for sure. Mm-hmm. Like that guy? Right.

He's fucked up. So the Brandon Schaub comment is not jumping in. I thought it was a joke. Is he for real? Whatever you need to hit me up regarding BJ. One of my absolute faves. It's been going on for a bit. He's not doing so well, apparently.

BJ Penn says, the CIA says, I have CTE. The CTE says, I have CIA. Which is kind of eloquent and profound. It's true. It's like, dude, think about that. Yeah. True on that. That should be the definition.

for CTE is just that quote. That's when you know you're lost. When Brennan Shob is trying to help you? Yeah. You're far gone. Yeah. That's rough. Well, for sure, when Brennan Shops tries to help you, you definitely have CTE.

Yeah. Let's see here. Maybe he's just suffering with delusions, rough to get back to reality. I don't know why they're doing a bunch of Tropic Thunder stuff. This is posted by tied up 412, never go full Bapa. It might be just the same account making the same. same sort of memes. Right.

You know, so he's in blackface, basically. You can probably put him in, like, take any movie and put Bapa in it. It's funny. Like, you could just go through the greatest comedies of all time

or whatever, like next week you do fucking knocked up or, you know. You know, the only thing I hate about seeing this is that there's no tour dates next to his face. You know what I mean? Yeah,

you want stand up back. That's 100% facts. Savage, fire. I agree. I want standup back. And this, he would post that if it was like, come to the funny bone.

You know what I mean? Yeah, he posts this. He doesn't realize why it's a little strange. He doesn't understand the black face part of it. I mean, no, black face is fine. All right. Let's see here. That's a promotion.

This is posted by That Ninja 11. Bopper reverting to his locker room jock jokes. All right. So two minutes. Yeah, right. I don't know what reverting is right word. He's never left the locker room. This is two minutes and 30 seconds.

Let's see. Four dudes, I'd make fun of them. If a dude got off the kiss the ground, was like, thank God. And there's a bunch of men clapping for him. Like, what the fuck? After the engineers, I'm like, that makes sense. That's a big accomplishment.

We got four chicken heads. Like, look what we did. Chicken heads, bro. What is this about? The people going to space. Oh, right. So we just called those four chicks chicken heads. Oh, man.

You know what that means? I'm pretty sure it's slang for, like, they blow dick. Yeah, that's what I was a good guess, yeah. I remember back in the day, chicken, chicken, why, chicken hate. Chicken head at hell. I don't know if that's what that's happened.

That's probably, yeah. Project Pat. It's Gail King. She's not a chicken head? They actually should have said to view, and they should have done an episode. They should have done an episode of the view from there. But they can't all fit.

And trumpet. The weight capacity? No, there's no weight in space. Gail doesn't have talent. Well, she's made a name for herself in an interview. She's like, me. Look, I don't know enough about it. So, whatever.

I just know what it would be funny if you interviewed. Gail's the Brian Callan of. At least Brian has talent. No, she's more like me. There's no Rogan. I'm fucked. If there's no Oprah, she's fucked. But she is, yeah.

You're taking it. You almost know. I said that. I said that she. I'm bad at this. I'm bad at this I never was good Give me money

I'm here Austin Up there From my brain injury Do you guys do it? Would you guys do it Go up to space? Yeah They didn't go to space

But would you go as high as they went? Now If they called you And Bez was like Hey dude These hose are over it They moved on to Listen these hose are over it

Imagine It depends who else is in there It depends who else is in there And also I think no You two and four fucking legit astronauts. Maybe if it was you, yeah. That would be hilarious. But if it's like legit astronauts, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But you would. Imagine how hard we would laugh the whole fucking time. Oh, dude. We just be clowning. I don't think you would. I think you guys would be so scared. I would be scared. Yeah.

But I would also. Finally were the same weight. Take us back down, dude. I don't like that. I'm farting in there. No, we would be scared. It's so redacted like right now, but there's still so much time

left, dude. Yeah. The view, too fat for space. That's like the dumbest thing ever. They wonder what they're, if they try to go to space, they'd be what, too dumb for space? Eric would throw up. What's it called? They were starting to give you funny, you know,

we're the same way, this and then, he's like, you fart? Just out of nowhere. You fart in space, dude? What is it? If you fart in space and nobody hears a DG, you really fart. Sounds like me. We would be scared.

Oh, yeah. Just to see if I can make myself go forward. He did it. Yeah, you farted, dude. You're moving too fast. You're part. Propulsion. We got to get down.

I shit myself. I called it, dude. I knew he was going to fart. That would be funny if he said, I'm trying to get down and I shit myself. You just see one tear coming out of his eye. A comedian shits himself in space. Can you imagine?

comedian shits himself in space and like everyone's like Brennan shop they don't even need to know the name and just assume it's Brennan that's actually here oh it's someone I have no idea who they are okay oh Montez Montez

Montez shit himself My shit is just like Chris look at my shit Ew dude this is disgusting God I am man dude

I want to go to space with Chris now bro so you guys would do it In space Crystalia in space Christaly in space that sounds like a horror movie like Sigourney weaver's like

Ah! Alien. It's Chris's face. Ah! Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun it's got the He has the two mouths. It's like

Dan dun dun dun dun dun Dude that is funny The second mouth is also his face Delia's face comes out of Delia's face Man my ears hurt from this fucking hat Let's see. No I think no I'm scared out of my mind.

Yeah, yeah, I would definitely be scared. Definitely be scared. But also probably emotional once you got up there. You'd be like, holy shit. Gay. Look at the world. It's round. Yeah, but you would be like, dude, Calvin and Billy are on that world.

Yeah. No. Wow. They range like all the emotions when it comes to podcasting. It's like sadness, happiness, fards, sheds. You know at some point they're going to talk about someone being gay, no matter what the topic is. They're like, I don't know what he's talking.

about when he says gay here about being in space who's gay yeah oh no he's saying gay for talking about us kids oh like get emotional in space that's gay oh i see i see i miss that context but yeah i wish i was you my yeah my like uh attention span saves me from some of the things that you're fucking bombarded with i have i'm thankful for that every day let's see what we got next um okay this is posted by richard 8064 disrespecting bapa and showing correct form. I think that's one of our guys. Really? Ibarra fit.

Not the 100, Brennan Schaub did, but we stay committed to strong dad movement. Become the person you and your family deserve. Oh my God. So he's trying to like link off this? Yeah. Well, hopefully that didn't get cut out.

He did too. Because that was great for him. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, listen, one of the things they don't tell you about being a father and I have so many kids, I don't talk to it anymore, but that's not important. When I did talk to them, I obviously made sure to have a strong back. Right? Because they're going to be what, depending on you and your back is what you depend on. But what you really needed was a strong ear. Yep. Because you weren't there for them. Yeah, yeah. No, I didn't hear them because I wasn't physically with them.

A strong cubby. My cubby's empty of my kid's tee ball game. I said goodbye a long time ago. Don't even remember his name. Never met him. Great guys. All right. Let's see what we got next here.

This is posted by Jesse. Jesse's So Good. Bringing back this classic tune, Thank him. So I'm assuming the song. I saw this posted earlier. I didn't watch the video, though. Made you go and be like, all right, I'm going to go do stand-up comedy and go bomb forever.

Well, bomb forever is interesting. Oh, yeah. Oh. This is the, yeah. Nistalgia. Is this the song we did? I don't... Is it?

I can't be. But I remember watching... Mad World. Yeah, Mad World. But I remember watching a clip a while ago with Mad World. All around me, and it's just him being laughed at. Is this the same clip?

Yeah, I think so. I mean, dude, she's so cute. All right. Yeah, we heard that before. It's going to get cut out again. Yeah. Let's see here. This is posted by Chin Puller of Clips.

talking about Gallagher and great guy never met him let's see here or it's like Gallagher I think you wanted to fucking break those fucking watermelon yeah what's her what's his name

Gallagher Gallagher Gallagher bro oh my bad I had to pull a reference up from the 70s he's the most famous guy whoever smashed watermelon

he's the only guy well they say his brother depending to be him yeah Gallagher that was Gallagher. That was who he was talking about. Guys, Gelliger is taking over.

It's like, it's a, it's like a, you know, one of those bands. Yeah, Trip your band. Yeah.

Papa can be wrong about it. He's like in the inception of being wrong. Yeah. He's wrong multiple times. He was wrong about the name and he's like, but he's the only guy. And he's also wrong about that.

I remember being confused as shit by that when I was a little kid. Because when I was a little kid, I don't know if you saw this, but there would be infomer. for Gallagher, like his standup where he's smashing watermelons, but sometimes it was like a different guy. Then I realized that there are two guys that were like related that did it. Isn't that crazy?

That's, yeah. Yeah. Wild times. Yeah, Gallagher, great guy, never met him. Let's see here. This was posted by 1811 BJJ. They actually exist. We bring in guys for one to three weeks at a time at my job when we're really

busy guys come in to help out this week normal dude decent to talk to doesn't have any outward signs of massive brain trauma slash tumors he left his phone at the lunch table while a few of us were sitting there and walked out of the room i'm not sure what caused it but suddenly it started playing the oh oh riley's jingle very loudly so i grabbed it to pause it and realize it was the intro to a t-fat k episode i'm shocked and hurt as something like this happened at my place of work beans cheese beans cheese, Underworld Lopez, Lopez, Underworld, Underwood. Where do you think this guy works?

I feel like Jim. Maybe. Fortune 500 company. Maybe. What's the overrunner on this being true? Probably zero percent. Yeah. That's probably not true. Great story. That's a great joke. Yeah. Yeah. Good job, Chef. This one's posted by Richard 8064, one of our guys.

Oh, you built the Humvee? I beg the differ. Built by plant B. Let's see. Great. Oh, fuck. Papa and his lives. Why doesn't he like doors anymore?

Or is there a door or there's a door? Maybe. Well, is there a door? Where's the door? Right here. Oh. It's like the cameras. Yeah, trick photography, Bapa.

Yeah. It would be funny if he started a doorless movement, like it straws. no more straws, no more doors. Meanwhile, he has a straw. He's a minimalist. His brain is a minimalist. He has a minimalist brain.

I have no home meow B posted this one. The curse of Bapa strikes again, this time his North Star. Jared Leto labeled Hollywood's most persistent predator after women unleashes bombshell allegations. Okay, this is my third time

trying to post this. Last two were removed by mods. A lot of women have been sharing their stories of Letto, grooming them in sleep. sleeping with them when they were underaged. I'm not surprised he always gave off. Dot, dot, dot.

Wow. Yeah. Too lazy to try did a video about this. Oh, I missed that. Okay. That's part of the agreement. You have to watch all Too Lazy to Try. You're right.

I fucked up. Yeah. So the other day on the podcast, Brennan admitted he doesn't watch my podcast anymore and Gerardo called him out on it. I was pretty happy about that, but then I realized that Brennan was asleep for most of the podcast, which is also weird.

But he does have crazy disease, so I understand. The first clip where he was talking about the cop, it was almost as if he wasn't even looking at the screen. He actually thought Brennan Chopp was the cop. Fuck you.

Fuck you. I'm out of here. I blow up. Let's see here. This one's posted by that Ninja 11. Someone posted this in the Workaholics Facebook group I'm in. Shout out to my fellow homeless brages.

That's funny. Yo, can we lose this guy? Nice. I mean, Bert, I think we've been getting more negative towards like, I feel like I've been more negative towards him. I saw a post of Bert and it was like him on video taking a shirt off and the title of it was some guy being like, like, every time I see this guy, I hate him even more or

something like that. And it's very negative, but I am kind of starting to feel like that. Every week, though, it's like people. never comment on our people that have never commented on your YouTube will leave comments like fuck Bert I'm like oh my god this is your your introduction to this and the beginning I was like Bert's a nice guy bird I like bird I was lying yeah people the comment they're like watching from the shadows and then remember really comment no not okay Bert slander please yeah dude people quit that's the main reason people quit our shit is because they're like I can't

believe you ever said something good about Bert I come here to hate bird and jack off and I'm all out of I'm all out of come, dude. Fuck, pause. All right, let's see here. This is posted by haphazard. Bopper response to the BJ Penn Post. Okay. Let's see what this is about.

Four minutes and a half minutes. Let me know when you tap out. Okay. We're going to watch the whole clip, but I'm going to tap out. One second. Before you start, you tap out.

I tapped out. That fucking photo from the show, workaholics. episode? No. The guy, the golf episode's the one where the guy with the frat guy with the super duper frat dude. So funny. All right. You can blake them out. Oh my God. God. Why is it doing?

Good morning. Y'all. It is Monday April 21st. Man, April's flying by. It's your host, Ian Hernandez. Inside joke. Classic. That would be funny, though, if you pulled out a gun like that would have been good.

Oh, he said Aaron Hernandez. Yeah. Oh, my God. I thought he said Dan Hernandez. I was like, who the fuck is Dan Hernandez? That's pretty good. Yeah. Can I, can you play?

Sorry, I know it's four minutes. Can you play it again? All right. Good morning, y'all. It is my. Jesus Christ, Brendan. Brennan. Yeah, that's what I was saying.

That's what you meant. Yeah. I hate me. Good morning. Y'all, it is Monday, April 21st. Man, April's flying by. It's your host, Ian Hernandez. It sounds like he's saying, Dan.

I know with the context, the DJ Pennett makes sense, but it sounds to me like he's saying Dan. April's flying by. It's your host, Ian Hernandez. It sounds like Dan. Yeah, and I'll be, okay, I'll admit, even though I was just talking about how I don't pay attention,

I was not paying attention, obviously, at the beginning of the clip. I'm so sorry. Oh, man. We'll get a million help I need soon. Can you imagine if I was in Hernandez? Oh, some people can. Listen, some of this, so many people sent this to me in my group chats.

and I'll see on Instagram. Here's the way I first looked at it. First of all I looked at, there's a lot of bullshit. You know, people take shots at me all the time. You get strays. You know, the internet's getting internet and I don't really engage with it.

And then when they told me as BJ, I just figured it was another one of these real housewives of MMA things where it's like, okay, doing it for attention or get clicks or I'll do that bullshit. Shob the big old pussy, you know? It's just interesting.

housewife shit, dude. It's a mangina. Facts. And it's hilarious. I was like, oh, God, here we go, BJ. That's been nuts.

And I love BJ. It never hurts my feelings. I don't take any of it personal, ever. No, you never do. People love the drama and M.A.

shit like that. So, like, whatever, and I put a laughing emoji, and then Mayhem Miller reached out to me. I was like,

dude, this isn't a joke. Like, he legit thinks you're Ann Hernandez. And I was like, oh, oh well you took the wind out of my sales like that's not funny anymore that's not fun

he just started the show by laughing out loud about being here who is yeah yeah he doesn't understand he's like he's not funny that's serious guys he just fucking laugh for a long time yeah that doesn't make that doesn't make sense that doesn't make sense be what's you doing here sorry i forgot it i had more secret comments up what are we getting here reposted. I had some jokes and have fun with it and it's just not it's more sad than anything.

Yeah, I figured he did this because you know, I was like with BJ stuff, you know, I'm never had fun with it. It was always like, this dude needs help. This doesn't end well. You know, it's a shame to seize a legend.

So all, it just takes, the couch is like no no no he starts rubbing it that's hilarious he's like keep talking keep talking oh my god oh my god it's all the fun out of it you know this isn't something to mess around with

if he looks you things up here Hernandez um it just he just he did in the in his things he did it's probably their best editing job yet it's pretty good our faces are a tad different

I do see the similarities people made that comparison all the time um Um, he took the music off. Yeah. A few differences between me and me and Aaron Hernandez, just for you people out there who believe this.

Nobody believes it. Yeah, I don't think that's a well-held belief. It's not one of the bigger conspiracies yet. Yeah. That would be very funny to start that. That should be somebody I start on the Reddit, that Shob actually is Aaron Hernandez. Aaron Hernandez never died.

Yeah. He's always been Brennan Shob. Shob claimed to have a cappuccino when really, he was playing for the New England Patriots. Shab's a great athlete, but he wasn't in the NFL. Does that make sense? I mean, he benches 40, whatever, however you speak this gym term.

Shab said his wife was here illegally, but his wife was born in California. All of his lies. You just say, like, he lied about a lot of stuff. Maybe he's lying about, I mean, did you see Aaron Hernandez die? There's a video of Aaron Hernandez selling comic books out of his mom's closet. I'm like, wait a minute.

Aaron Hernandez's story is so unbelievable. You're telling me an NFL star, ruin everything, and he decided he wanted to kill people. Isn't it more likely that he did MMA and he was friends with Joe Rogan? And loves podcasting. I'm just putting facts on facts here. You can take wherever you want.

I'm stacking it over a week in your toast. I think we just convince people, honestly. Yeah. It's good at football. Aaron's great at football. I'm stronger than Aaron Hernandez. From the rumors, he used to have a bigger dick than me. I heard he has a real, real swamp slapper on him.

Swamp slapper. This is disgusting. Yeah. Just a real gator tail on him. Straight up, dude. A peach's delight. Mm-hmm. I'm not into...

His dick would stop the tracks. I wanted to see it. I asked him. Can I see your dick, Aaron? Can I touch the dial? He was like, oh, you're fucking Brendan Scha. he didn't kill me dudes

might be surprised to you guys I'm not into dudes and I don't murder people so there's a few differences there right I get it I get it I get it

yeah it was it was fun but it's more sad than anything and I'm sure he's posted other stuff after that not about me but about other stuff or no is it just he does this? He does this one.

Who's doing these for them, though? Like, I don't think BJ's getting on Microsoft Pro or what the hell? Microsoft Pro. What? They go on Instagram. Microsoft Pro. That's how he thinks that chin edits the videos. He's like, well, go on your Microsoft Pro and don't cut that part out.

He doesn't know what an Apple is. It's like, a shot, what's the difference between Apple and PC? he's like eight inches he's like dude my editor's so good he uses apples to edit our podcast the the ones literal apples

I would use oranges shab the women that Shab cheats on his wife with on the phone should be so like they should feel impressed by that he chose them because of the work that he needs to do to be able to figure out

how to send them a message. Saving a contact, good luck. If he put in all that effort to figure out by himself, how to turn on the phone, spell out the message he said, and to find the right emoji,

God knows he doesn't know where the emojis are. And send that to you, he's really put a lot of work into that. I don't agree with you on the emoji thing. That's probably the first thing he seeked out. He's like, ask one of his kids, hey,

how do you do an emoji? And then he's just like sending devil emojis left right. Okay, he doesn't ask his kids, but he goes to some school and, like, to find a young kid, he's like, how do I put the emoji on it? Because, you know, he wouldn't actually, his own children. Well, instead of the water cooler, it's like at the cubby. You know what I mean? He asks their friends. Oh, no, it's, Boston. It's a bossy's dad's going to ask us how to use his phone again. God damn it. Fuck. You guys use their edit and shit and knock all these out. Like, he also has the team helping him out. I don't think so

Microsoft Pro Yeah he's posting a lot Oh you're saying that No BJ nobody think that's Uh BJ pin Yeah someone

Or the people close to him Should definitely get him to a Psychiatrist Yeah I know Something I know I know I know it's not

It's no laughing matter It'd be different It was like a current fighter Not stuff from CT Then you're like Okay Let's have some fun with it But now you're like

Ugh Still a fan still love him. I definitely want to get him help if he's helping to it. Definitely have some resources that could help him. But you got to want it, man. He just offers a Marine and sure shot. Yeah, resource.

The resource is a thing of Black Buffalo rifle that's been open and half of it's gone. You know, I don't know. I don't know. empty fish tanks. It's not fun. It's not fun. That edit was very good, though.

That edit was kind of legit. You know what's sad? His one sure shot would cure the whole thing. Yeah. I know he doesn't even have that. I mean, you should say it. That would be funny if you plugged a sponsor right there. Yeah.

And you can get that with promo code. Shah is spelled S-H-A-A-U-B. S-H-B-Y-C-Y-C-K. This is posted by haphazard. This is a normal conversation between two men. Aaron Hernandez's brother's sentence to time served in shooting threats case. It's the time served in shooting threats case.

Threats. it's another big guy I mean just that's his job is to point out big guys he's big Brian loves that shit The Pope look at him not a big guy Next to what else you got chin

I ate 10 much prison already served threatening Carry out of shooting at a university of Connecticut Oh I remember that Yeah that's dark The family was all fucked up The dad was fucked up They grew up in a rough environment Wow

That'd be funny if he was like I grew up in a mean, not like me, I mean, I was way rougher. Yeah, way rougher. Mean streets of Kalo. Man. Grew up in a rough environment, but yeah, he was a hell of football player. I was at half the football player in Aaron Hernandez is,

and he was at half the fighter I was, so we're not the same guy. He also has a bigger dick than me. I'll give him that. I mean, I know that. Oh, you do? I have buddies who were roommates with them. Oh, yeah, a piece on him. Massive swamp tail.

Really? Massive tail. God bless him. Yeah. There you go. Yep, yep. So a giant don't great deal. I'm going to give credit where it's deserved.

You get a hunker on them. Really? Yeah. We got it the first. Man. You'd pull it out. Yeah, what a great thing you called it. You told us already.

Mm-hmm. You got a hunker. I like gator tail. I like, could you play for the gaiters? But I like hunker because hunker. No, you get a new recruit. Hey, you got to check out Hernandez's gator tail.

I like it. I like it. It's disgusting. I would keep saying. Someone said that. You got to check out Cooney's Gator tail. I think I'm off the team, dude. I'm not checking out Gator tails.

If I took my hands off... And then he pulled down and goes, Welcome to the swamp. That's good. Do you like that? Yeah, a lot. Like, sense. Yeah, dude, this is...

Imagine saying that to a woman. Welcome to the swamp. After you've pulled your pants down. She's got to really want it at that point. Sir, this is an Rbies. Just put the fries in the bag, bro. I don't want to see your dick. Welcome to the flood.

Are you ready for a hurricane? Earthquake. A third plane has hit the tower. 9-11. 9 inches, 11 inches wide. What? That's a joke. He had a big chode on him.

I knew his roommate. Yeah, no, his roommate saw his cock all the time. The roommate, you mean boyfriend? Yeah, dude. If I took my hands off. Hey, Swamp thing. Swamp thing. Get that gator tail out for the new recruit.

Yeah. Yeah, no. No, no, no. No, no. Let me say welcome to the swamp. Don't say swamp. Say, hey, Bri. Go ahead.

Say it. Hey, Brie. Yeah. Come check out Swamp thing. No. He is fucking the bid up. I'm on Brian's side here. The chemistry is, as always, electric.

Wait, who am I? That gator tail. Oh, show me. Yeah, you say that. Say, hey, Bryce show the Gator Tales? So you're in Hernandez and this? Yeah. All right.

Show me your cock. That's what he says. Flash this gentleman. Okay. I look like him. Hey, B. Yeah. Get that Gator Tail out for the new recruit.

You asked for it, man. Welcome to the swamp. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Oh, my God. He has a rapy voice. He did the full of, Welcome to the Swamp.

And then he's happy, like immediately after smiling. He's got one bit and he does it and he thinks it's hysterical. You're asking for it, man. Welcome to the... Look at that. Serious face right there. Yeah. Yeah, you're my girlfriend now.

See what I'm saying? Okay. Come on, man. Now, now saying... The recruiter, where do I sign? Now, say, Bras, show him that honker. See, that's not as fun. That's right.

Now we're recruiting West Virginia. Yeah, I know, but that's all right. Hey, Brian, show him that big old honker. You asked for it, brother. Honk, honk, honk, honk, honk. Ew. Are we 12? You guys were going to say.

Man. Brian is more like the character in Tropic Thunder that's like, you know, redacted than Shabbas sometimes. Hey, Cooney. What? Show that penis ears out there. Okay, you asked for it. Uh-huh.

Welcome to the lake. Welcome to the igloo. Welcome to the mushroom farm. Welcome to the tiny dick house. What are we, what are we 12? Yeah, dude. What do we fucking tend? Come to the serpent's layer.

Welcome to the dirt. Let's see. Let's go one more here. All right. Welcome to Austin. This is posted by Markey the Fet. Bapa, when he's been in Texas for a year and he's ran out of people to talk to about To Rogan. It's a classic picture. It's always good. It's great.

This is posted by edgy, depressed teen 420. Is this Marg at Coachella? For sure it is. It is. Some post he went. I always say how do you get so big of muscular and I say him creatine creatine I put it in my coffee on my food

and in my ass That's great He's talking about shop He's like he didn't pay me on Monday He didn't pay me on Tuesday None of the days None of the days In any day

Oh shit it wasn't on the screen again Let's watch you guys Yeah people always say how do you get so big of muscular And I say him creatine Creatine creatine I put it in my coffee on my food And in my ass It'd be funny if he picked up that guy, ripped him in half and then made out with the chick.

It is funny. This guy is like arms crossed like, you know Mark's been cooking for a minute. Oh, yeah. Mark can cook. We never crossed our arms. We were like this. The whole time. Facts.

Facts. Hell yeah. Shout out to Mark, dude. Great guy. Never met him. But yeah, I think that's it for this week, dude. All right. That's it.

Have a good week. Patreon.