10 Minutes of Schaub - Brendan Schaub is BEST FRIENDS with Bobby Lee! ... NOT! | 10 Minutes of Schaub #111

Episode Date: October 29, 2024

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I've stalked your Pajo, my wife throws hot Cheetos Where did you come from, where did you throw? Where did you come from? Mexico! I've stalked your Pajo, my wife throws hot Cheetos Where did you come from, where did you throw? Where did you come from? Mexico!

I've stalked your Pajo, my wife throws hot Cheetos Where did you come from, where did you throw? Where did you come from? Mexico! Ote... Yeliko! Stop at my favorite time of the week. When you get nearby, but try to speak.

Release surprises today. You better actually watch 10 Minutes of Shop. Welcome back to 10 Minutes of Shop. Thanks for tuning in. As always, join the Patreon, join the Discord, join the join the reddit instagram twitter all of that good stuff on the patreon we just watched the movie walden we normally do stand-up reviews but gerardo found this movie about a stenographer that kills people that i mean kind of sells itself diddy uh you just sold it to me yeah and we reviewed it and i thought it was funny and the patreon people thought it's funny so join the patreon if you want to see that do you have any it to me. Yeah. And we reviewed it and I thought it was funny and the Patreon people

thought it was funny. So join the Patreon if you want to see that. Do you have any shows to plug? July 18th at Ontario Improv. Boom. Hawk.

All right. And that's not why they're here though. No, that isn't. That's not why they're here. You guys are here and gals are here to watch Tim as a shop.

I'm doing a little bit of Joe Biden right now. That was Joe Biden right there. My vice president Trump, you know. But anyways, they're not here. They're watching. The president of Ukraine, Vladimir Putin. This is an intellectual winner.

You're here to watch Tim as a shop. So start the timer. Play the chain clip. I hope they get the reference. So this is the first one we got. Dude, look at all those tabs. That's so many tabs. Whoa, dude, that is a lot. Yeah.

A lot of them are picture post, though, much like this one posted by OK Possibility 5403. It's cracked article knocking shop and it says it's always funny. Funny. It's always sunny fans catch the world's worst comedy podcaster stealing the show's

jokes. Oh, wow wow so an oldie then right brennan shub took credit for oh the hot dogs yeah see i do remember some stuff okay that made me feel good we're seeing growth right now daddy i wonder if they referenced us at all these the guy with big small teeth and a sharpie in his rectum made comments on this. Anyways, let's go to the next one. This is going to be posted by Toronto Rapture. Has Papa got AIDS? I mean, I saw this one. I think look at that face, dude.

This is it is incredible how far he's gone down this. Yeah, the face is real lighter than the rest of the body. And then that picture is so bad, dude. That looks like Dallas Buyers Club. Yeah. Dallas. Mandy McGangagay. Mandy McGangagay, dude.

Yeah, this is... Then this is for the truck giveaway, right? Giving away their truck to a lucky fan who bought some merch. Yeah. A lot of discourse about the truck giveaway on Chang's this week. Yeah, they're all saying it's fake, right? Yeah. I mean, I love Reddit, but I would hate for it to be about me

because, God damn, they just try to poke holes in anything. They really do. I mean, we even got a voicemail on our other show, Raccoon Tweety, about something about, like, because he got a text message, he's not really coaching T-Ball or something. Yeah. I mean, I'm happy to look into it, but it seems like a small detail.

But, you know. Well, you know what they say about our show, dude. The woke's meeting the wall here. That's right. You bring that stuff, you might meet the wall. The lies meet the woke wall. Yeah, this one's posted by our four L as seven five one. It's called a beast of a work

ethic Bapa Bapa copied and pasted the privacy policy from gas monkey garage. So payment and billing options. For example, we process your credit card number and zip code when you buy gas monkey merchandise and apparel oh my god no way dude it really is the team sometimes like who is he hiring oh my god how do you fuck this up that is crazy

no i mean let's be honest you don't expect anyone to read the fine print, right, dude? No, but that's, come on, man. Yeah, this is, it's copy pasted, dude. That's insane. Any thoughts? I don't know. I mean, it is tricky hiring companies to do your marketing and internet stuff. Sometimes they send you back shit and you're like, what the fuck is this? I paid you all this money.

So maybe that's what he did, but you read what they give you to make sure it has. So that's, I think Bob is going to have another moment where he's like, you know what? Thank you. You taught me that, um, I should have read what you sent me before I allowed you to post on my behalf. He's like, Oh good. Another company's name is on my, as on my site. Good. Good good i do have a story about that where i got a i had somebody i don't like outsourcing stuff for the shows and whatnot when i was doing my old podcast i was like fuck it i'll just have somebody draw me a profile art right and so i wanted three things so i told him the three things and i paid him whatever he asked for and he's like it'll be done in a week and I was like cool he had it done in like two days but the

third thing wasn't done yet and I paid for all three yeah and then uh like months later right I finally hit him I was like hey man do you think I can ever get that thing because you know it's on me right the whole WAPA thing sure uh and he's like sure so what that was supposed to be was a man riding a scorpion and the first thing was the scorpion. The second thing was a youtube banner with the scorpion and in color gradient right, and the third thing was supposed to be the man writing the scorpion, which wasn't originally my idea, but he told me like I could also put a man on the scorpion as I do. That sounds awesome like yeah, I'll pay for that too sure, and when he

sent it to me dude, it was the worst like it was awesome like yeah i'll pay for that too sure and when he sent it to me dude it was the worst like it was just like no it's like his hands were like claws or it was just bad like the guy riding the scorpion was just like it wasn't smiling or anything and it was on me that was my fault the guy did the guy riding the scorpion have scorpion hands did he he didn't literally but it's like okay i'm trying to paint a picture it's like it's a stick figure with a big gate coming on the scorpion you're like what the i didn't ask for that it's a scorpion riding a man the flip shop made it you hired shop but i saw that and i was like good that's all me papa all right so this is something i texted you immediately about when i saw get ready for the thousand or 250 to pretend their father figure is funny comedian.

Posted by Dana White's mom. We will all hear from months about how Joseph Rogan killed and how much of an assassin he still is. Grown men in love with a little man because of his fame. Gross. When I heard about this, when you texted me about it, well, first of all, thank you. Thank him. He texted me and I thought, well,

cat's out of the bag. This is going to be fire. Savage. One of the 250 that can do it. We've watched all of Joe Rogan's specials. We needed more for the Patreon. We have another one that's coming. Who knows what we'll do with it? We won't reveal it now. Maybe we will live.

I was thinking about the logistics of actually reviewing the live. Yeah. I think we can do it live, but we can't broadcast it live. Oh, okay. Even if it's behind a paywall. Okay. Well, yeah, we'll figure it out. I mean, we'll watch it.

Yeah. Sure. Yeah. No, I'm excited, man. I mean, I didn't know what stand-up was really like until we watched all of them and i'm not gonna say what it is that's behind that's my patreon dating yeah but um it's i mean he said some pretty wild stuff on that shit yeah yeah maybe we could like i don't know how like if we watch it live on youtube can we just have the audio and no video?

Would that be doable? Do you realize you're talking to someone who knows nothing? Nothing. Well, I'm presenting the question. Yeah. For the people that may know something. Yeah. Yeah.

The cats out there, the chefs. Yeah. They know this stuff. Some of them are really good at their shit. I'm sorry for asking you to work overtime, but we need your input, dude. Is there a possibility we can live broadcast this on YouTube with just audio or with just video with no audio? Something where we can have you guys watch along with us. We rarely ask you for stuff.

Like, all we've asked you to do is subscribe to our Patreon, watch our YouTube, like and subscribe. Discord, Instagram, Twitter. But we ask you again now. Yes. Tell us how to do stuff. Yes. So I'm stoked. Either way, we're reviewing it ASAP, dude, because if there's nothing we like more than

a Brian Collins special, it's a Joseph Rogan special, dude. Man tears. Yeah. Man hands. Okay. So this is posted by Hap Hazzard. It's called He Never Puts His Hand on His Chest. Finally, some good old classic chins, dude.

One of our guys. One of our gays. Yeah, brilliant. He was also,. One of our gays. Uh, yeah, really. He was, it's also, he was like 17 when he did that interview.

Yeah. So it's like, Oh, you know what's cool? You know what's really cool? You can show a video of me at 17 and I'm not gay. I don't know, bro.

You know what? I think they're talking about sketch. Oh, I've already forgotten. We just watched the about sketch. Oh. I've already forgotten. We just watched the sketch video. Not but 15 minutes ago. That's a crazy thing to say, though.

I mean, it's, dog, it's funny. But shop is not known for being funny. Yeah. Can we watch that one more time? Yeah. We're breaking right now, dude. Yeah, brilliant. He was like 17 when he did that interview.

Yeah. Oh, you know what's cool? You know what's really cool? You can show a video of me at 17 and I'm not gay. I don't know, bro. You know when I was 17? You know as a 17 to now, I've never done this i bet you did

right when you're 17 you say this too i know i'm 6'4 250 pounds i've never how did i not see that coming either man i'm gonna go to the doctor and get my head checked the title of the thing is that he's never put his hand to his chest and they just said the thing so you know fuck go fast don't die dude that is so funny it's yeah this is the thing boppa just says stupid randomly homophobic things and then he he pays for it this is a lesson to all of us out here right we think we're being hawks we think we're being cool we do a gay joke and then we will be hit just like that by the fucking chefs who keep us accountable for our actions

what we say done this 255 I know I'm 255 pounds I know I look like this stuff doesn't bother me it hurts my feelings man it always has it always has. It always has.

It hurts my feelings. Soft. Just soft. To steal the line from that guy that used to rate rappers, soft as baby thighs. Ghostface killer. Shout out. Ever heard of him? At least. God bless you, man.

I wish I could. Double hands. It hurts my feelings. Shut up, man. I wish I could. Double hands. It hurts my feelings. Shut up, dude. Both squeezing his boobs. He probably has this, too. Never done this. I bet.

You just did right there. I'm too sensitive. So I know because. It gets worse. The hole always gets deeper for Sean. Oh, shit. I look like this. You guys think it's okay and doesn't bother me?

Yes. It really hurts my feelings. So this is where... What's with the Trash Tuesday beef? When are we going to settle the Trash Tuesday beef? It's settled as far as, you know... Did you try... I do declare...

I'm a gay Southern man. Well, bless your heart, Andrew Schultz. I do declare I did not ask her to walk to my truck. Because I am interested in men. I am a masculine man. I never took the dick. I need another masculine man to do the things she accused me of doing, asking for

I hear my I am not gay to Walg I've never done this you just did right there any letter meant to your truck it doesn't make sense no

deuces macchiato yes deuces Macchiato? Yes, dude. Deuces Macchiato. What are your thoughts on this, dude? Oh, the editing is great. At the end, the Deuces Macchiato, the little JPEG there. Yeah.

Good job. There's more of that coming, too. Oh, wow. I like that as a tag now, the Deuces Macchiato at the end. Yeah, some of the things are insanely funny, and you forget them because there's so many things, but Deuces Macchiato is pretty good. I heard it both ways, Brendan.

This one's posted by MinimumSky2305. It's called At Least You Did an Hour. Gringo Papi was 23 minutes B. All right, let's see. Even at the funeral, the family was like, oh, can you guys share some stories about him and then all the boys were all together and I was like ah

you do it you go last I'm like I don't want to do it and then also the brother went up and crushed he had like intimate stories crushed I mean he'd expect this from papa No matter what Whatever he's talking about anything

He's gonna say something like that The brother wanna be couraged He spilled the beans on these motherfuckers Funny I'm like I ain't following that Hell no I don't need another l on my fucking resume i'm not going up at a funeral bombing all your specials and then that yeah people are like yeah like brandon just played gringo poppy it's gringo funeral we're already we're already sad

hey man you did it oh yeah no not everybody even has the balls to to put out an hour of material. That's why we can joke about it. An hour. Fucking Eric doesn't even know how long it is. Great friend, Eric. He saw the first joke. He was like, we're not going to watch this. I guess it's probably going to last for an hour. That motherfucker just goes.

Dumbass mama. It was 23 minutes, whatever. Oh, okay. It wasn't an hour? No. Oh, wow. He doesn't... Yeah.

Oh, Jesus Christ. They can sit through the 23 minutes without talking smack? And eight of it is fucking music? And eight of it is music? Damn, he's roasting himself now. Wait, eight of it is music? Does he think his comedy is like sing-songy?

He's doing a little bit like we do, you know, when people joke about something we do and we exaggerate, you know? He's at the beginning where it's like, thick boy squad. People had douched him for how long that was and ridiculous. And he's like, and the song was, he's learning a little bit. But you know he's going to regress soon. Yeah.

He never, he always like understands for a moment and back down to complete, almost as if he never understood at all. I mean, I don't even know what you're talking about because every episode is 10 minutes, so. Let's see. That thing was a hustle, baby. In the first five minutes, his intro, you came out like a black wedding, like whoa. I'm doing the electric slide. Slide to the left. No, but yeah, it was it was a it was a

interesting wedding you know i had a really good time okay so i thought it was a funeral right talking about a wedding yeah that's confusing yeah um well pop is changing right yes yeah we'll see if it stays up with the other quiz yeah uh well this is a reheat, but still I thought very funny and willing to watch again. We've definitely seen this like 30 times, but it's posted by DazzlingRabbit633. It's called Fuck It, All Reheat, Maybe the Most Unbelievable Lie Brendan Ever Told. All of a sudden he was also M-O-L-3 dollar sign T-E-D'd

by a guy with downs. I was nine. I got mol'd by a guy with Downs. When I was nine, I got molested by a guy with Down syndrome. Don't laugh, Brandon. I'm not laughing. Dude, I got molested by a kid with Down syndrome. I got molested. I was a division, no, I'm telling you, I was a division at University of Colorado.

He was like... He's trying to say he got beat. I vaguely remember. I don't even remember this, but he got beat by someone with Down syndrome. That's not Josh Wolfe, right? Who's this? I think that is Josh Wolfe. Okay, then yeah, I remember this.

Yeah, yeah. Dude, come on. And then even Brian Callen's trying to be like, that was Bobby Lee. Yeah, relax, dude. And the shoes are crazy. Yeah. Oh, dude.

Thank you for pointing out the obvious, dude. Look at that. Dude, what is with him and cheetah print, dude? He loves it. He can't get enough. You'll never catch me

with cheetah print. Tell you that right now. A lot of his shoes look like candy that you'd eat as a child. That's great. Same colors.

Same color scheme. Well, speaking of Bobby Lee, we got this posted by Guild Guitars called Bobby Lee is one of my closest friends. I would eat his shoes any day of the week. Yeah, they look edible. I'll have the shop shoes for my

son and my daughter. Can you also put a pint of vodka in there, please? You can only have, or sorry. Drink out of my shoe. Sorry, sorry. You can only have one shop shoe, okay? You have to eat your dinner first. Oh, man.

Bobby Lee is one of my closest friends. I mean, Bobby talk a lot. Bobby's one of my closest friends, man. Oh, really, dude? So real quick, Brian's closer with Bobby he's always been closer with Bobby than I was like we didn't talk like weekly or even monthly if I saw him at the store we're we're always cool but I it's not like if I tell you which is the truth I don't talk to Bobby I didn't talk to him before anyway so it's there's no falling out we just we weren't that we were

never that close yeah yeah as a friend like like i said me and bob were never that close me and him i have a relationship is whatever yeah but i hope you and him are friends i know it's not well maybe it is I'm just missing it but the music was fire yeah that is kind of like that guy that you put me on to Mac DeMarco oh yeah I love that shit

yeah I hope that didn't get cut out on the public episode because it might be a popular song because I liked it when I first saw it yeah I'm like download that well basically if you missed that part, it's just Brennan Lee, Brennan Lee. I said,

Brennan Lee. Yeah. Uh, Brennan shop line about being Bob Lee's friend again. Yeah. Yeah. Which is a classic now. Classic. Uh,

well at least Papa is being honest posted by, uh, what is that dude? Jirig. I feel like it's a slur, like a, a Reddit slur. Hopefully not,

but it does look like something that if we put it in the youtube title get demonetized uh it's at least papa is being honest painted narrative win this truck before i have the chance to flip it the you know self-awareness good good this week only any merch gets you 30x entries plus we just dropped some fire ass bundles drive fast all gas.com they keep plugging up they can't stop fucking up yeah uh hashtag forward hashtag f-150 hashtag giveaway hashtag truck i don't really understand the entries thing because i saw that on the the website it's like some gets you 30x 100x yeah does that mean they put your name in 30 times if you buy it?

It doesn't make sense. No. It doesn't make sense. It seems like math that's like, you know, needlessly hard on them. Yeah. Like they got to figure that out. Why? Yeah.

It doesn't seem real. It doesn't. It's like if I buy one shirt, why don't you just put my name one time, not 90 times? Yeah. You know? Yeah. Anyways, to each their own, dude. But they're marketing geniuses. They get it. They know a lot more than we do. I'll tell you not 90 times. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Anyways, to each their own, dude. But they're marketing geniuses.

They get it. They know a lot more than we do. I'll tell you that right now. Yeah. This one's posted by Get Off These Nuts 5000. Isn't that? Oh, it's Sean McCorkle, which makes sense with all this typing. Shout out to Sean. Yeah, he's a writer.

Yeah. It's called Remember That Time. You can go check out the subtitle because that's should we read it or no i don't think we should read the whole thing yeah i can read it yeah uh let's see this clip though i wouldn't do any bare knuckle they offered me great bear beer knuckle it does feel like you're fighting bears like the way he says it even though it's the same word like beer knuckle what i don't know if I want to do that. Dare knuckle. That's how I got the gig.

I was like, I want to do that. They all do you millions? Get them out, yeah. And you turn down that. We got kids, man. God damn, beer knuckle? If they give me the right matchup, give me like a Cyril Ghosn beer knuckle? Yeah, the guy can't wrestle jujitsu? Sign me up. But they're not doing that. Who are they, the Santas? Yeah, yeah, that's a tough year. Don't do that one. He's got decent hips.

So, decent hips is hilarious i'm assuming uh shawn mccorkle's just going off on shop here um yeah so he's talking about it's crazy how that fight was close to happening but shop backed out basically of the serial gone fight so i didn't see this post because i wasn't i haven't been on Reddit recently. I guess those five days ago I wasn't on but I'm assuming what he's doing is just poking holes and all of the ridiculous parts of the thing and he would know

more because he doesn't he did MMA. Yeah. Yeah, he's one of the kids man. Yeah. Okay, so doing that. Sorry. This is sad. I saw this this week on Chang's. Yeah, it's posted by talks. Oh, plasmosis

and posted today. Never too late. I think you sent me this. Yeah, Brian Callen come to a see Brian Callen. Yikes. Yikes really bad, but that's what they do. They do fucking bad shtick like that. Yeah, or at least Brian does

yeah there's nothing there's you can't really sink lower than Brian I don't think yeah yeah if you woke up as a different person who would you want to be you mean over Brian or Shav I mean yeah I was trying to fool you saying one of those okay yeah over Brian yeah

yeah I would I wouldn't want to be Brian Scoob. You're just stupid. Yeah, Brian, you're God knows what he is. Well, let's take a little break for our sponsors here. I just post my poppy cho-cho actual video of me in this heat.

Just made a post yeah yeah we're sponsored by homeless cats everywhere dude they're always relaxed you know yeah uh support homeless cats whenever you see them in the wild take videos of them and give them catnip uh this is called someone check the pulse of this podcast, please. Posted by A. Mark Wigski. All right. The beginning is fucking hilarious. That's all I saw, and I stopped watching. It looks like he's about to drink Pepto-Bismol. Propaganda from CNN, and they bought into it. It's like, all right, that's fine. It's almost like a defiant thing.

He chugs Pepto-Bismol. On the pod. You do that before you start recording, Papa. What does Pepto-Bismol do? It's for your stomach. It's like if you just ate some ganasada, taquitos.

You eat all your stomachs fucking with you, so you take Pepto-Bismol because you got diarrhea. Oh, okay. So he's chugging that bitch. And then they bought into it. It's like, all right, that's fine. It's almost like a death. That's not a lot.

I've seen people do it like that. Yeah. I mean, if it's your own bottle, I guess. Of course he's doing that. What a ridiculous thing. You've never had Pepto? I've had it when I was a kid. I think it tastes good.

Yeah, it tastes great. I think it's kind of like bubble gum in a way. Like a weird medicine bubble gum. I like it, dude. I fucking like the way it tastes. I mean, I'm down to go take some right now, dude, if you're down. I wish I had it for you. Let's see. William's not only

won a gold at the X Games, but he's having a baby boy. I know. I didn't know she was pregnant. She definitely didn't look pregnant. She looked fantastic. Not that you don't look pregnant. She definitely didn't look pregnant. She looked fantastic. Not that you don't look pregnant. He's drinking so much Pepto-Benz. He went for seconds right now, dude. He's going to drink the whole

bottle. How much of it are you supposed to drink? I don't know. I think sometimes it comes with a little plastic thing that you can pour into. Maybe you can use the cap before. Or maybe you can use the, I think I've used the cap before. Yeah. That might be a bop of move.

But yeah, I think probably one or two maybe. All right. That'd be funny. He puts the Pepto-Bismol while he gets Miralax. He just drinks that too. Drinks fucking laxative. You can take the pill for him too. They used to have Pepto pills.

I don't know if they still got that. But you don't get the taste. You know what I mean? You still get the taste. It's their chewable. Oh, okay. Yeah, they're delicious. I'm addicted

to Pepto Bismol. I'm like fucking rogue nicotine Pepto is my shit. They're chewable. They're delicious. Makes your brain smarter, dude.

Maybe he's laying off the Kratom. Hopefully. With Pepto. No one should take Kratom. Yeah. Stop taking that shit. Very, very thin.ratom. Hopefully. With Pepto. No one should take Kratom. Yeah. Stop taking that shit. Very, very thin.

Very thin. Beautiful complexion. Oh, thank God she was pregnant. I was about to hate her for being fat. You know he's probably kind of really hoping it was a boy too, right? They all were like, yeah, I think it'd be fine. Nobody laughed and they were like, okay. All right, Grandpa.

That was like an old man ignore move. All right, we ignored that. And on with the show. Ignore Grandpa. He just had three bottles of Pepto. You know how he gets. Yeah? Boys are easier.

That is true. By far. That is true. Yeah. What else you got? Oh are easier. That is true. By far. That is true. Yeah. What else you got? Oh, man. Rough. Dude, that's great.

Dead air equals what else you got, dude. Yeah, I mean, it's a perfect way to transition. Yeah. I'm going to start having dead air on Raccoon Tweety so I can possibly get you to say what else you got. Oh, man. I wonder if I've ever said that. If I say no,

then there's a clip that pulls up where it's like... I've never done that. Yeah, I'm doing the thing too. Today's a tough one. Brian's energy and then I'm sick. You've got a busy weekend. I'm fine, though.

I just don't feel good. Wait, my what? You seem tired. My energy? Yeah. What do you mean? I'm sick. I got low energy? Hell yeah. Do I i have low energy it's picking up now it's fine blame the team this is a great way of blaming the

team yeah notice it's going down is it me yeah is it me is it is it me me yeah Aim on the chest and everything, dude. Yeah. Why? What happened now? No, I'm saying I just, my energy was low. Damn. Yeah. Your energy is low, Brian. Yeah, Brian. You got to check out them thighs.

Hit them with a slow motion, Brian. Okay. So this one's a little bit gadushable. I watched this one because with a title like normal family stories, you know, they're not normal, right? But I related to this a lot. Maybe I'm gadush myself, but we'll see what happens. Post by Chin Second Balcony. Let's see.

But then Bosty, he looks like he's been in concentration camp. Like, I'm like, dude, I can see your ribs and your spine. Pools are so dangerous for kids. I think number one. I like how he just, the editor put that at the beginning, and it has nothing to do with this part. Concentration camp. Concentration camp.

One way kids die in America is pools. And it's quiet. You should know when a child goes under, it's quiet. Check this out. My back's to the pool, and she's facing me. I'm getting nervous right now. She takes off. And I was like, god damn, I want to get in the pool that bad.

It's not that hot out. And I still, I can't see what's going on. Bossy's under the water, but he's kicking. He's going like this. He decided not to put his floaties on. And then it plays. Right into the danger zone. Shop was like, shut the fuck up you see him silence brian i'm talking about my son drowning shut up but watch this little nugget at the end dude

joe rogan is literally five foot three oh man be cool guys but yeah when i was a kid, my brother almost drowned. That's why. Oh, fuck. Yeah. So now you feel like shit, don't you, for making fun of Sean? You're right, dude.

You know what, though? That's on me. I'm happy your brother almost drowned. It's my bad, dude. I mean, your brother almost died in a pool. Yeah. But, like, I should have known that. You know what?

And I might cut this part out, but when it happened, I thought to myself good. All right. This one's posted by one of our guys haphazard. Now they're going to fly the winner out and train them how to drive the truck. First time it's been mentioned. Have you seen this? No, I know this was in our discord. That's why I missed it.

So just reading that title. What else should be done, do you think, without hearing what he's going to say? Like announce when it's going to be, the winner's going to be? Oh, like they get to fly out, meet them, all this stuff. That's a lot for somebody to win. I feel like they should be like a guest on TFATK. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. They win an internship.

You get the chance to get blamed for something. That'd be awesome. Right. They're the new George. Yeah. Dude, they should do a thick boy experience where you stand in the shoes of Mark and you're a right hand man for not years but let's say a month.

Then terrible drama goes down and you go on all the podcast circuit. You know what I mean? That could be a good trope in show business. The T-Fat K experience. You do all of those things that an unpaid intern does at their studio. And then you, at the end of the day, you guys are not friends anymore. And you know, a whole bunch of drama starts dude what this is really now you just said and now i realize this this is really a reality show that's not been made like hollywood called brennan shob get this to be a reality show because right now like i don't even want them to do this because i think it would steal thunder away right now what we have is cats

self-producing a show right and Hollywood could come in and do it for them worse probably it'll be a reality show but it's definitely all the tool every all the things you need for a good reality show are there a famous person who's a moron his family crazy people that

are in his life scams fucking lying intrigue and all that shit flipping like he flips that are in his life, scams, fucking lying, intrigue and all that shit, flipping, like he flips his truck. This is a reality show that's not been shot. A lot of crying on earwaves. Yeah, there's a lot of crying. Keeping up with the shops.

Keeping up with the shops, dude. Yeah, Bravo's leaving money on the table, dude. They can't do it because Brian's so fucked up probably. That's awesome. They might have to get to Brian. Yeah, they're like, Brian, we're going to have cameras on you all the time. Is that okay? He's like, I'm out, dude. Let's see.

His people are like, oh, that's just going to be a street princess. Maybe. I don't know. I can't control who wins. We have to hire a third party to select the winner randomly. So that's cool if that's true. Yeah, I hope that's true. What if I win? that'd be cool yeah

but he always lies dude you can't there's no way you know a whole bunch of homeless cats are going to enter this i mean it's obviously not random unique could win they're not going to fly him out yep so you know i don't know some dude that works at cinnabon who cinnabon dude he's always with these these uh references to things so people yeah he thinks well i'll let him i'll let him cook yeah enter my sweet steaks and make my frappuccino fucking bitch we're getting demonetized you know into you, electric cars could win and then just flip the thing. I don't know. I don't know.

But whoever does win, even if you're not familiar with like off-road and stuff like that, King Shocks and I, mainly King Shocks, you don't want to take lessons from me. I'll flip that thing right over. But they won't. So part of the winner gets to, you fly to LA, they'll take you up to Barstow or to Johnson Valley. And even if you're a guy that works at Subway

and into fucking electric cars, dude, you're still, and sandwich artists, welcome. Auntie Annie's, you're welcome. Just shout out all these like minor chains. And the Subaru,aro dude you work sabaro dude it's fine if you work at hollister amber combi whatever dude you want a truck you're not even into you drive electric like you think he'd be like what is that word sized yeah about

having a truck giveaway but he seems like it's like weighing on him heavy yeah he was at the beginning and now he's not he's like he, he's realized this isn't going to fucking do it for me. Jesus. I already got to think about the next thing. This is the greatest idea I've ever had. What comes next? Yeah. Weight on my shoulders being.

Jim for chip. Jim for chip. Pros with King shocks, how to drive that thing exactly what you're dealing with. So it's going to be dope, man. One of my favorite things ever done. So we'll see how it goes.

Yeah. Oh man. Shout out Cinnabon workers, dude. Yeah. They're delicious. I would feel like shop saw me if I already worked at Cinnabon and I was homeless. Yeah. And then randomly one day I'm going through chains and I see that and I'm like, it's not that bad of a guy, dude. He's trying to relate to the people. Or that'd be funny if the predetermined winner is somebody that works at Cinnabon. All right. This one's posted by Caterpillar Hot 7539.

Old side piece with new chompy. As you can see, it's the funniest woman comic alive, Whitney Cummings. Oh, there you go. And it's Brendan Schaub as the baby. I do like how they make Brendan Schaub as the baby. I do like how they make Brendan Schaub her baby. That is a funny running bit. Yeah. So you got open-toed sandals, which is

very strange. The baby might already be smarter than Schaub, though, the real baby. Possible. The baby's like, I want more milk. Alrighty, let's go to the next one, dude. This is, oh, we got to include Harlan Williams every week now. Yeah.

He's just killing. That other clip we watched was so fucking funny. Wait till you see this one. Post by WeChat Warrior called The Irony of Stool Humper Calling Someone a Dork. Yeah. And so here goes. Hill and Banff out in Canada. I'm sitting there picking blueberries

And this behemoth comes flying over the hill So that was a grizzly bear It was a grizz, they roll and claw I've never done this but You are such a dork What do you mean? Is that a real tattoo? Let me see that again.

Dude, this is not easy for me to talk about. You actually got it tattooed on your chest. Well, hang on, guy. I'm trying to tell you I got attacked by a grizz. You know what?'s so good dude yeah what a setup what a crazy setup i mean joe rogan laughed at it he understood that finally some things sunk through or snuck through his brain he laughed shop wouldn't have gotaub would have not understood the bit at all. He's like, oh really? You got a bear thing?

He'd stop him before he did the thing. He's like, we got a mountain lion problem, y'all, in my house. He's still trying to do his bit. And Schaub's like, oh, I don't know. Part of me wants I just want to say a prayer for Harlan. I hope he's okay after getting attacked by a grizzly. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. One of the thousand, dude. This one's called, I Sacrifice Speed for Quality, posted by Haphazard, which, by the way, shout out to all the chefs, because this week has been

sort of reminiscent of old weeks at Chang's, dude, where it's a lot of content this week, right? Yeah, yeah. A lot of clips. Let's do it. This one's about... I didn't even watch this, and I was like, that's half, dude. Dude, he had the bug, too.

So the whole family, if you listen to Monday's podcast, I think it's the worst podcast we've done in however many years we've been doing this. I think that's the Pepto podcast. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, my baby girl got the first bug. She's a baby. I'm like, yeah, it's not going to pass on this. Then Tiger got it. Then Bossy got it. Then my girl got the first bug but she's a baby i'm like that's not gonna pass on this then tiger got the boss he got it and my girl got you were like i'm healthy i'm fine i take

stuff like peptides all sorts of stuff for my health my immune system like i ain't gonna get it it was all good worked out monday morning six brain my mouth did my thing all good literally noon hit i was like man i don't feel very good no i was trying to go through the podcast i was like oh dude this i got a i got a text from you said oh oh man i'm sick sick yeah it wasn't zero to one that sounds very accurate i'm sick sick he said the monday morning thing just like you said in the other clip Monday morning look at those shoes dude awful why does he have so many I don't understand people that are sneaker heads like that dude I get that a little bit I mean if you have a lot of money I like shoes

so I got a lot of shoes and if I got a lot of money I'd probably have even more shoes look how blockbuster these are dude new balance daddy hey if they're comfortable they don't look bad that's what I like're comfortable, they don't look bad. That's what I like to hear, dude. They don't look like that. You paid way less for that than this. This is crazy. It looks like a... He was like, do you have any shoes that look like a tennis

ball? Can I get some of those tennis ball shoes? It looks like he's about to go have a job interview at Midas. And he's also like he's matching the shirt for his king, whatever that is. It's like you're a little too old to match like that, dude. I think

my opinion as the kids say cringe, right? Right now is driving home. My lightning have AC a sacrifice speed for quality. So his lightning doesn't have AC. Okay, he's sacrificing speed for quality. So his landing doesn't have AC. Okay.

He's sacrificing speed for quality. That sounds awful. It does not make sense. No, no. Wait, so you don't have the AC because you want better quality, but drive fast on gas, you don't want speed, and you don't want it to be cool in the car i don't know i see drive drive fast and he's saying he's sacrificing speed yeah for quality that's crazy maybe it's a

joke and he's just lacking the sarcasm in his tone or he's a black belt and we don't understand marketing genius he's probably trying to plug an ac company next week you know what i mean he's gonna get an HVAC. Yeah. Okay. I got to say, though, I don't know. You know my plights as a human being. I haven't been driving around with no AC for two months in the hottest

months of California, right? You're the one who's sacrificing speed for quality. Sacrificing speed for quality. Update. Two days ago, got AC. Daddy, what's good? Go. Go.

Nuts! It's driving me nuts, dude. My Prius, I can fucking drive with the windows up now, dude. Thank God, dude. Hell yeah. Because when I'm blaring TFATK, I get weird looks on the road. Let's see. Oh, wrong button.

So I don't have AC, and it was 110. I don't have the windows down. Dude, I was like this. Dude, I was 110. I don't have the windows down. Dude, I was like this. Dude, I was sweating. I was going down the highway. I'm like, I better pull over and get some water, man. Your wife, like my wife and like many wives, doesn't give a fuck and doesn't want to hear it if you're sick.

And, in fact, it annoys them. Your wife was at Erewhon, and i said how's brennan she goes oh god i had the same thing but he's like he's so sick and i was like hey hey man i'm down i'm down though exactly with my wife my my first wife and my current wife like if i'm hey uh brian don't mention your ex wife. If the current wife has the same ailment, just stick with that dude. Oh, really? Dude drives me nuts.

Sorry. It's very strange when somebody screams nuts. Yeah, yeah, but it's it's not fun to do it. Yeah, that's what the people want from us. Dude, I think so. Did you see this clip of him getting in a small car i think we have that coming up later i missed that that's good uh did you find someone something comical about my appearance when i'm driving my automobile posted by khabib time uh i think we get the clip later in these tabs but i

was so excited to do this dude. Cause first of all, this one starts out with a banger. Oh shit. Okay. Apparently he went live with, what's his name? Adam 22,

Adam 38. Nobody knows who you are. Rinks posted by chin. Second balcony. Oh, and dude, something tells me that Brian's going to be in these porns that Adam's doing, dude. I'm just kidding.

I just made that up. That's not why I'm watching these, but I just think it's funny, dude. So, but check out what he calls them at the top. I think it's so funny. Okay. No Jumper, coolest podcast in the world. I'm in here with Brian. Kalen, how you doing?

Kalen. Oh, man. Oh, you fucking get my name wrong. now you don't Callan oh man oh you fucking get my name wrong um jeez dude that is a real uh

punch to the kidney for Callan he the fall continues it's like how we shop keeps doing stupid shit Callan keeps getting uh the fall

keeps going it just gets worse for him now he's got this guy that has a podcast about banging his wife telling him saying his name wrong calling him a girl's name yeah or other guys banging his wife i mean call it and now we have brian caitlin on the pod how you doing so you uh you do improv, right? And we know you from, you have a show with Brendan Shaw, one of my favorite comics. But you did improv for a long time, right? You were a car salesman? Give it up for my guest today, Caitlin Brian. Give it up for my guest.

I have a stupid bitch on the show today. Stupid bitch. Do that slow motion thing you like doing a lot. Let's see this again. No jumper. Coolest podcast in the world. I mean, no jumper. Coolest podcast in the world.

Does he do this just to get views? Does he say the name wrong on purpose? I do want to watch this all day long. Yeah, that's pretty good. Probably right. Here with Brian. Kalen. How you doing?

Kalen. I told you I'm on a bender. I like Kalen. That's what happens when Probably right here with Brian. Kalen. How you doing? Kalen. I told you I'm on a bender. I like Kalen. Well, that's what happens when you do that many podcasts. I always am amazed that I can keep talking. Yeah, I bet you are. It is funny how everything he goes to now is about their downfall. You know what I mean?

Yeah. So we got more clips for you, daddy, if you like that. Oh, hell yeah. More of that. Let's see here. This one's called Kalen recalls a couple of controversies posted by Haphazard. Let's see this.

Yeah. And so when I'm watching you guys go through similar stuff with the whole Bobby Lee thing or whatever, it's kind of like I'm recognizing that that's probably where you guys are at.

You felt like you're under fire. But Bobby Lee I deserved. Okay. You know, Bobby Lee was, I love him and he's my friend and I was acting on bad information and there were things and I was protecting a friend and the way I spoke to him was, and he's my friend. And I was acting on bad information, and there were things.

And I was protecting a friend. And the way I spoke to him was, and I've said it, and I said it right away. And I've said it to Bobby, and I've apologized unreservedly because I love him. And I've heard that for sure. I was fucking wrong. And sometimes in life, it doesn't matter how old you are, you fuck up. And I fucked up. And in that moment, I was a bad dude.

I was angry. And I wasn't angry at him. I was angry at something much. I was angry at the weather. And I was going through a hard time. Oh, interesting. What was the weather like? It was raining outside.

You know how I get when I'm raining. I mean, you don't know my name. But you understand. When it rains, I'm a different kind of Kalen. I'm a different Kalen. I look at the weather app, dude. If you know you're going to meet me, if you know you're going to see, if you see me calling you on your phone, first thing you do, don't answer it.

You check the weather app, Danny. Just ask my ex-wife and my current wife. Yeah. Ask all the women who've ever met me, really. Any of them. Let's see. Maybe he meant weather politically, dude. Strap the fuck in.

And Bobby Lee was what got caught in my tusks. No excuses. No excuses. Unforgivable. Maybe we've texted and kind of like made you know, made things okay on text, but it may never be the same. And that's what I get.

And if you fuck up on the level that I did when I spoke to him the way I spoke to him, like he didn't deserve that shit. He didn't fucking know what was going on. He was like, what? What? And I did that. Well, you know what? Isn't that weird how the skateboard right behind him makes it look like he has a crown of thorns?

Yeah. Let's make Brian look like he's Jesus Christ, okay? He's being sacrificed for our sins. For all men with bad temperaments. Yeah. He's their jesus dude i'm pretty good guy in that moment i was a piece of shit and sometimes when you act like a piece of shit you do you got to do the time you got to pay the price when i watched uh how brendan approached the ariel hawani thing around that time as well as the bobby leaf thing as as well

as like a few other little things, I saw some of myself in that where I felt like he was riding a high. He felt like everything was great. And so he started to kind of speak about his peers or other people in the same ecosystem as himself. He didn't necessarily show the same amount of respect that I feel like he's been humbled. I feel like he probably would approach those situations way different now. And I've been there for sure. Nothing good comes out of that. i spoke to ariel after that i spoke to him about that ariels like what the you know what the are you guys talking about why are you coming after me i got you know like what i do i didn't do anything he's right he didn't do anything brian's just lashing out at everything

you know i said some things about Miley Cyrus. I feel bad about it. I call her a stupid whore. That's not even on video. He's admitting to things. And he's also, she didn't know who I was. She called me Brian Caitlin. Just like my ex wife.

She thought I was well, Sasso and my current wife, both my current and ex wife thought that I was well said. So, and I'm just her. It hurt. Cause I'm actually Brian Callen oh we're so evil dude we watch these guys every week and we were just talking it was Rampage and

I knew he and Rampage and I I think I brought up the fact that I said something about Ariel being sensitive or something and that's not a bad thing but like Ariel didn't ask to be brought into that he's never said anything bad about us like he wasn't like he he didn't ask to be brought into that he's never said anything bad about us like he wasn't like he didn't ask for that so again when you have a podcast a lot of people listen to you can fuck up sometimes and you can say things and i i that's that's again when that happens you've got to make it right i like ariel i think ariel's you know i think he's a great reporter as an mma casual i've always been a huge fan he's, I think he's a great reporter. As an MMA casual, I've always been a huge fan of him. He's just a great reporter.

Ariel is a guy who tells it like it is. Right. What was the Ariel thing they said? I don't have any idea. All I remember is that, like, a long time ago, that thing was, like, four clips of Ariel dropping bombs, and he was like, how did podcasting go? How did this go?

Which was funny. But I think there was something before that they said. If you guys know, please comment, and I'll read all of them. I don't usually go which is funny but i think there was something before that they said if you guys know please comment i'll read all of them i don't usually you know let's see he's honest and uh casual fans like me really need somebody like him to be able to like you know observe his observations and be like okay he's probably way closer to whatever he wears his heart on his sleeve and he and he and and i think ariel is here to stay i think ariel is going to always be um should be luke thomas that you listen to but okay yeah luke thomas one of the thousands you see who is a very valuable contribution so i've never had a problem with ariel right you know and i and and and you know and i would never get into this back

and forth because i like him and that's you know, I've only interviewed him with him once or met, I've been on the show or talk to him. I can't remember what it was, but we had dinner once, but I don't have any beef with that. That's pretty funny. Like if you hang out with somebody a lot that ends up getting canceled for obviously Chris D'Elia type things,

I've only had dinner with him once. And if a guy's like really good at what he does and like has integrity, you've never hung out or talked to him before. You're like, I hung out with him once, you know? Yeah. It's like either one is the same thing.

I think Brian, like a lot of people have, it may be a true excuse for some of these people because like, if you have dinner with brian you probably only want to do that one time yeah one is enough right we're like all right well we'll never do this again yeah they brought the wine out and he started acting like a scottish man in slow motion let's see guy i don't want that i don't think there's anything bad about that guy i don't want any problems with him so yeah but that was a that was a case where

i think brendan said some things and it was like, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, come on. Let's not do this. There's enough of that. I never want to be part of it. I don't want to be part of it. I don't like it. I don't, first of all, I don't, I don't feel. Well, uh, unfortunately that's the last clip from that podcast. Oh no, just kidding. We got more. This is a, to the very few who are interested, count is no longer on glider with chowder. Oh, no. Just kidding. We got more. This is to the very few who are interested. Count is no longer on Glowder with Chowder. Oh, wow. He's already gone?

Posted by Hap Hazard. Any thoughts on his other, or what are the controversies there that we just saw? Nah. Cool. Let's see this. Cool, man. Because, okay, we saw the narrative at a certain point,

because, again, these commentary channels were putting out videos saying Brian was leaving the fighter and the kid to go work for Steven Crowder and even when I went to do the interview when I appeared on the fighter and the kid I was like surprised to be like oh okay so you're not even necessarily on that show never gonna happen okay so that was never

a possibility we thought we were seeing you go full-fledged I'm a conservative commentator now. Comedy. MMA. I ain't talking about that shit anymore. No, that's not my thing. That's not my thing. No, I'm a guy that yells at my friends before anything else. I think it was

Too Lazy to Try that made a video this last week about this or it could be Podcast Cranes or whatever those channels about him getting, oh, it was too lazy to try. I got to check that out. Yeah. He was talking about getting slapped as a cow.

That was the worst. At the end of the day, if he's not working there, it looks like he just went to work just to have a video like that come out and then come back and never work there again. I had a creative vision, you know, and I did a few things at ladder with Tratter. And one of them was, you know, I'd started off bad. It was me in a cow suit getting hit by a man. And then Cratter started, he put a shock collar on me and he was at me when I tried to talk.

And I just, just after that, I just had a bad taste in my mouth. So I went back to my very good show, T-Fat K. We have a lot of listeners. All right, here goes. I went over to Crowder because I'd known Crowder from before. And, you know, he asked me to come on and third chair and be part of the mug club and all that stuff. And, you know, there's a lot about Steven. I mean, Steven gets a lot of flack, but I think Steven is a very thoughtful guy.

And he's a conservative and unapologetic. I think that has a place in the conversation. If you have a problem, hit him back with good ideas, different ideas. That's it. Did you think that that career arc was going to be better than it ended up being? I never think about that stuff. I just kind of was in a time in my life where I had this opportunity. It was the weather. I think. I think it was probably cloudy

that day. Well, listen, Adam85, I don't know if you know about the forecast or seasons in general. I don't do so hot in August. Yeah. Everybody knows that too. Yeah. They call me August Kalen. I wanted to see how it would work out but are you not on there at all i haven't done the show in a long time okay because you know they're

in dallas right so they do their thing over there it's deal free yeah dallas is yeah you know and i'm here and i got the podcast and you know so um but uh but i have a podcast behind the paywall right which is mug club um and i love doing it it's called off limits and then i have a i release a free episode on thursdays but that podcast is where i talk to people that are smarter than i am that are you know i just want to get to know um but uh yeah man i i But yeah, man, I. Just never would I do that. Never. That's something there will not.

You know, the thing I'm saying, I won't. That's not going to happen. Yeah, for sure. We'll see. I'll never be dressed in a costume getting hit by Brendan. That'll be the most fire thing. It does kind of look like I'm hitting that big beard. Oh, my gosh.

Callan has lived a life. We could say that for sure. Right? Yeah. Okay. So this one made me laugh very hard. It's a tough watch because of this rubber band shit. I don't like that.

You know what I mean? But you'll see what happens. Okay. Did I even say what it's called? No, huh? Some Degree of Broke, posted by Chin Second Balcony. Two participants are tied together by a rope around their faces. They have to push as hard as possible to make their opponent tap out. But the reason behind this game will shock you.

This game was created to make players stronger and out. But the reason behind this game will shock you. This game was created to make players stronger and better at dealing with pain. Would you dare to try this? Well. Sanaj, you know we're not dead broke, right? Oh my God. There's a lot of clips

on this week on this today's episode that are making me just shocked. Yeah. The shock phase. Damn. I don't know what this week, on today's episode that are making me just shocked. Yeah. The shock face. Damn. I don't know what this ending is. Let's see what happens.

This is like a Friday. And so far, it's one of the best ever. We had the most amazing fans, the most amazing friends. And I can't be more thankful than right now. And thank you, Jobbers, for recording this. That's it. What a weird thing to say to the intern that you don't pay, probably. Oh, fuck.

She's like, we're not dead broke. Can I get some money? Yeah. We fired George. We didn't have enough money for George. He was willing to work for like half his pay. That is wild, huh? What happened to the George storyline?

I don't know. Because Sanaz came in. They were recorded probably a month with Sanaz and George. And Sanaz is better than George just for being there for that short amount of time. I guess. What happened to Beanie Man? Hopefully he's not been legs. You got to pay legs too. You pay legs, Beanie Man. There's another guy in the studio. Nick.

Nick. But that's for a golden hour. Oh, okay. Wow, dude. Yeah, beanie man. There's another guy in the studio, Nick, Nick, but that's for a golden hour. Oh, okay. Wow, dude. Yeah. That's it's wild. Um, anyways, any thoughts on that? They're not dead broke. So that's a good thing. Yeah. That's like glass half full. Yeah. They're like, uh, vegetable broke. You know how like you're not dead, but you're a vegetable. Yes. I'll cut that part out. Uh. This is posed by haphazard. It's called a small sample of the premium content. It's three minutes. Let me know if you want me to pause it.

Okay. I'm sure that's funny. I have no idea. If I see Orlando Pace, I'm like, fuck. She's a girl. She's a baby. Oh, my girl. Babe, I told like, fuck. She's all big. She's all big. Oh, my girl. Babe, I told you.

Yeah. We've talked about this. Orlando Pace is my whole pass. Wow. Orlando's like, yeah, yeah, I'm down. Yeah, sure. Yeah. This is just Jenny down at CVS.

Who's your whole pass? Tiffany at CVS. Yeah. best uh uh tiffany at cvs jenny down at cvs it really is i would be funny if we clicked on one of these patreon i'm this is their patreon right i'm allegedly right so like we click on that and it and we click on the clip and it's someone we know messing with them. That was my, that would be my dream. So when we know instead of that guy, it's like a comedian that we know.

Yeah, dude. It's asking them some shit. It's London Lee. Yeah. Damn. Chris is not having fun, dude. He just wants to make jokes, dude. Yeah.

Oh, that bitch at the pharmacy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh you're if you're having a good time with your girl you're continue it that's actually a great thing you're bringing her into this thing that you enjoy doing so she probably feels included it's probably helping your relationship and giving you she probably gives you your time when it's time for you to game she's probably like yeah babe going game because she knows she's gonna play a game with you. I bet you I can assume if you guys are gaming like a bunch of hours, like logging hours together. That's the way the kids talk about logging hours. I bet you guys don't have kids.

I bet you don't have kids. That guy's bored, too. He went to get a beer from the fridge. Oh, shit, I'm still on. Sorry, guys. No, I've been with her since sophomore year um and i'm 30 now so i've been with her 15 years wow you're probably just shooting blanks at this point so we don't have any kids oh wow yeah because those video games those logging hours we have kids we've also seen the way he said it is crazy. I have never heard

log in hours. I don't know. I don't play any video games. That may be true. It might not be. But you know. You Twitch, right? Dude, I'm freaking 19 years old. Yeah, you're 19. Yeah. Hey, Cooney, secure the pack, dude. What you talking about?

Billy Eilish. What are you talking about? I was trying to think of a Billy Eilish what are you talking about I was trying to think of a Billy Eilish thing to say and he knows he's shooting blanks because you know he's yeah I mean we've been trying but no one knows no that was Eric shooting

blanks sorry I did it but you understand now no thank you for explaining I blame the team make sure you're in the right hole but you understand now. No, thank you for explaining. You're welcome. I believe the team. Make sure you're in the right hole. Yeah, with that mullet, I don't know if you like it.

Her pussy stinks. That's hilarious. Why? I don't know. I don't know, but I was going to laugh loud and I wanted to preemptively say that it was funny. Hey, man, it's, you know, it's what you think is funny.

Right hole, not funny. When he says with that mullet that pussy stinks, comedy gold dude. The way that the guy said, I guess from shooting blanks at this point, is a nice way of not thinking about that. It's kind of crazy. So you were going to, are you

trying to have kids or are you just like if I have a kid that's fine? This is a little bit weird. He's like, I've been in the wrong hole this whole time. Disgusting. Damn, he like aggressively gets on the phone. You know, sometimes I look at my watch if I get a notification. But this guy's like, guy's like visually tuning out

tuned out one thing he won't do is anal sex he won't talk about that it's too far for him I'll yell at Bobby Lee all day don't bring up anal sex they both stink he said I had a better mullet than Theo

which isn't true but I still appreciate it. That mullet's pretty fucking good. You almost connected in front of your throat, bro. No, yours is fancy. I like how curly and fancy yours is in the back there. It looks like you permed it. It's nice. It's just natural.

Yeah, I appreciate it, though. Yeah, man. Well, good luck with all of this. The gaming, getting her pregnant, you know. Yeah, thank you, guys. I appreciate it, man. Maybe go check it out. Go to the doctor. You never know. Yeah, absolutely.

Go to the doctor. Eric, think. Eric's got his thinking hat on. Yeah. He's been on his phone for so long. The guy could be like, yeah, I think I'm dying. All right. Great mullet, man. Are you picking?

Sometimes it's like the time of the month you don't know. I know. It's actually easy. Thanks, bud. Thanks, brother. Good luck, man. Great mullet. Oh. That was a real mullet, bro. I'm telling you, I saw him in person and it is quite the sight in person. It's quite the sight. It was like,

it's straight here, curly here. Old school mullet. Old school. I should do a mullet. I should do a... I gotta take Tiger to baseball at three.

Okay. I thought it was at 3.30. He's got like a little... He's got so much hair back here. We got this. There's 10 minutes left. It's probably better without me.

See ya. It's probably better without me. I think it's cool. I didn't know he was... Okay, he's... Dude, he's also... We forget that he's also coaching baseball. Yeah, that's priority number one.

Yeah. Yeah. Get in, dude. Are you vibing? Your dad's vibing on Golden Hour. Get in. Later, dudes. Later, dudes. Later, dudes.

Ah, fuck, man. I'll miss him. I'll miss him. What's this? Is she farting out the window? Damn. Put off right at the best part. Yep.

That's basically a copy-paste of our Patreon. Yeah. If you like that. Yeah. If Walden had a mullet. We got more stuff from their golden hour podcast. And if you're wondering if the show's almost over, it ain't daddy.

Oh fuck. Strap that fucking. This one's called teen Woff posted by chin. Second balcony. Just another shop isn't for you. You know what I mean? From back to the future. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. That kind of, you know what I mean? Yeah, from Back to the Future. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That kind of, you know what I mean? But that's like... From Teen Wolf. I haven't heard much about your fish. I just bought a new fish. Sometimes Brennan does that and I feel like the meme

of the black guy with the cigarettes, you know, he's doing that shit. Yeah. Whatever he does. Teen Wolf. What's going on in that brain? Teen Wolf. Where is the doctor from the Will Smith movie when they need him? whatever he does. Teen Woff. What's going on in that brain? Teen Woff. Where is the doctor from the Will Smith movie when they need him?

From Concussion? Yeah. Let's see if he touches his chest. I think he might. You know what I mean? Yeah, from Back to the Future. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That kind of, you know what I mean? I haven't heard much about your fish. He just levitates around it. Yeah, he did. And then random fish stuff here.

I just bought new fish. You know what that means? Bad news for the fish. Wait, Brandon. Why don't you travel without a cat? No. Gotta love TFATK, dude. Good cats.

Yeah. All right. Well, next one? Yeah. We're going to try Well, next one? Yeah. We're going to try to speed through these last ones. This is the part of the podcast where we usually take our siestas. If you're Latino, dude. Okay, so this is always funny to me.

Posted by Organic Possession 53. More totally real comments from his totally real fans. Beans Cheese, Beans Cheese 35. I don't know if you're ready for this jump scare dude but get ready to see a whole bunch of ass and thong standing oh shit your videos are very clear high quality content interesting content like for effort and quality it's always good dude yeah asses just leave the nicest things yeah the asses really know how to talk to you dude dude. They do.

It's the other, it's the profile without profile pics. That's when I get nervous. Yeah. Do you think it's literally just asses talking? Like maybe they fart and they have like dictation like Siri, you know? Hey,

I was calling for the Will Smith doctor from the re concussion yeah my friend gerardo i um get here soon tell him i watch brandon chopper every week dude please that was good okay so dana white's mom posted this and you know i don't know how much you want to get into this dude because it's all over the place i tried to before we were recording to like try to get a hold on this. You know what I mean? It's already 11 p.m.

We started at 11 a.m. Dana White's mom posted this as such a funny sentence. It's the rules are so unclear and redacted. Didn't he say you have to follow and subscribe to DFAGS or the wind don't count? Also, he never said anything about no purchase necessary to win that you had to pay at least $5 to enter any mentions of the charity. All right. So there's a lot of questions already. Yeah. I want to get your thoughts on this. I'm just going to present the material. Okay. How our giveaway works. Number one, shop, explore our store and shop your favorite products.

Each purchase earns you entries into our giveaway. Okay. I understand that. Number two, check out, complete your purchases by checking out. You will receive a confirmation email with your order and entry details. Okay. I get that. You, you know, email's a little hard for you, but you're still on board. Got it? Yes. Good douche. Uh, three you're entered. Congratulations. Your entries are automatically submitted to our independent sweepstakes agency okay on board so far you know there is like come on me you know we just trust in that they're putting us in the sweepstakes yeah probably not but yeah okay official rules drive fast all gas giveaway sweepstakes official rules no purchase necessary to enter or win a purchase will not improve your chances of winning. What? All right. We've lost Brendan folks.

The sweepstakes is intended for legal residents of the 50 United States of America, including the district of Columbia and Canada, excluding the province of Quebec shall only be construed and evaluated according to us law. Do not enter the sweepstakes. If you're not located in the USA or Canada at the time of entry. By participating, entrants agree to abide by and be bound by these official rules and the decisions of the sponsor,

which are final and binding in all matters relating to the sweepstakes. Winning the grand prize, as described below, is contingent upon fulfilling all requirements set forth herein. Yeah, okay. All right? Right. A lot of legal jargon that starts out with a weird beginning. Sure. No purchase necessary, which is weird.

That I don't understand. Yeah. One, online store entry. Eligible entrants will be able to enter the sweepstakes by visiting the sponsor's website located at drivefastallgas guys, a comma. And then my favorite part, dude, the website, but with quotes around the website, like it doesn't exist.

You know, the website, right? Right. The not Lex's best work. Yeah. So that's it. Yep. I'm sure we have more more but what are your thoughts i mean i really don't understand how the not how could buying something not improve your chances of winning

i mean how do you get entered in if you don't buy something yeah i don't get it like do you know anything like law wise like where this is problematic or not no but i'm i'm assuming that the reason there's legal language there is because like they'd be worried that somebody buys something from somewhere and then they sue because they they don't make it clear that they can't win or whatever that's my guess okay and because then there's the aspect of charities, which is like a bunch of posts on chains are about charity. So like apparently this is I didn't graduate college, right? Yeah, I went to high school barely before I say this.

Apparently what I'm deducing from it all shouldn't be using words like deducing if I didn't graduate, right? Is that to have a sweepstakes where you have to buy merch, proceeds have to go to a charity. Oh, really? This is what I'm deducing. Is that the word to use? Yes, deducing is right.

Or deducting. Deducting. Deducting or that's what I'm- Deducing might be. I'm digesting this right now, dude. That's what I'm trying to say, dude. That's true. You're digesting it.

The way that I digested Chang's this week is that that's the case. No, deducing is right. Arrive by reasoning draws logical conclusion. So let's look at what deducting is. Okay, deducting is something financial, I'm assuming. Deducting. I think I might have been wrong.

Subtracting or taking away. Oh, so I'm trying to add to it. You're trying to take it away, Daddy. Do I use deduct or deduce? I'm dedum. Shav could do that on the show. Shav, do you see what I just did? You could do that.

I've appeared less dumb maybe. I don't know. Dude, we have the same intelligence as Shav. That's what we've been saying. He should learn a lot from us. Yeah, we've been saying the same thing. You know, they get it. They know.

So, I mean, I don't know if that helps anyone i mean we're not really making any progress in this drive fast all gas comic-con zero spell check as usual the whole thing screams scam and then they talk about messing we're not going to do that fake purse stuff a purchase will not increase your chances of winning so what are the 30x multipliers for when you purchase thank Thank you, California burrito. That is what I, that was my next question. I would have arrived at that. Yeah.

Cause I asked about that earlier in a different context. I don't, you seem to understand the 30 X more than I do. Yeah. He's been saying on his dumb podcast that you also must subscribe to the YouTube channel. Okay. Come on. The podcasts have nothing to do with the sweepstakes. They're great podcasts, dude.

All contestants must do YouTube. Check us out in Pasadena. Ever heard of it? Yeah. Watch the show, please. We'll shout out to all the commenters and chefs. I think maybe there's more stuff about this later, but if not, we'll try to look into it more.

Yeah. Okay, this is hilarious. Posted by Far Out Outdoors. Schaub ain't even the most popular Schaub. And then go ahead and do me a favor and read that. Don't say the word, but... Okay, Schaub is a German surname. Notable people with the surname include Bernard Schaub, born 1954.

And a Swiss denier of something that he shouldn't something that definitely happened yeah it's so funny to me that Bernhard is like so close to yeah it's funny to put him first when he's it sounds like a piece of shit they're like no

he's a bit more relevant than shop and scoop both hated one more relevant than Chubb and Scoob. Both hated. One more relevant than the other. One probably worse than the other, right? Yeah. Less socials than a whole cost. They got me to say it by making it phonetic. Okay.

Toe on Boppa's glasses. So this is from a recent episode of Joe Rogan. This is posted by I Actually Hate. Damn, we're an hour and 12 in and I'm starting to lose my tongue. You know what's weird? People that wear glasses that don't have vision problems. I hate them. They're stealing valor. I was thinking about that.

Because you have to have them. I am so blind without these. What is it with people with clear lenses? What is that about? It shapes their face is what they say it's an accessory so they'll have like a big fat face so they'll wear big glasses but i really don't trust those people very odd yeah it's a very odd choice yeah i remember i met a guy and he had those on it was a comic and i go why do you wear those and he goes girls think you're smarter i go really yeah the dumbest girls.

What is girls? God damn it. They think you're smart because you can't see good. I mean, well, Sam didn't edit the video together. I'm kidding around. But it's like, I don't agree. I think if you want to wear glasses, you can do it. I mean, you feel free to disagree with me, but that's my opinion. I mean, it's all good.

Yeah, who cares? I care, honestly. Yeah, I think if you like it and you think it's all good yeah who cares i care honestly but yeah i think i think if you like if you like it and you think it's cool go ahead and do it i understand their criticism uh you think it's douchey i wear glasses to edit but it's to uh get less blue light into my eyes oh you get the blue light one yeah i got some blue back to my hypochondria during covid i got blue light glasses they're like Ray-Ban blue light glasses. And I wore them to work because I was like, I don't want to get COVID in my eyes. Dude, I wore goggles.

I was full on like a little bit of, you know, probably TDS going on. I wore goggles to work and everyone started laughing at me. And then when you clocked out, you were at home trying to make your own vaccine? Yeah, I was trying to inject more. I was just injecting stuff into myself, hoping it was a vaccine. One of my friends at work took me aside. He was like, come, he got goggles on. I have like gigantic goggles on.

He's like, are you sure about this? Okay, so let's see. This is something we talked about on Raccoon Tweety's, the Danny Trejo situation. It's posted by Haphazard. It's called Restaurant-er. Any guess on why that's the title? Something racial. Oh, no, no, no.

That's a great guess, though. I'm glad I asked you. But let's see. Oh, okay. So you got the one. It's a little different. Hey, do they have to have that thing on the side of the car? Yeah.

Actor, author, restaurateur. Today, Junior. Oh, fuck. I mean, that one I just feel bad, honestly, making fun of her for that. I wish I could take back what I just did, but it was fun to do. I'm not cutting it out, dude. No, no, don't cut it out. Keep it in.

But, I mean, that's just like, come on, man. That's like anybody could fuck that up, but it was fun to do. I'm not cutting it out, dude. No, no, don't cut it out. Keep it in. But, I mean, that's just like, come on, man. That's like anybody could fuck that up, but it is funny. Yeah. Do we need that? Restaurant tour. Do we need that? He says it right. As Rogan would say, he needs a handler. He needs a handler. Get him out of those situations. Deuces

Machiana? Deuces Machiana. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Shout out to Danny Trejo. Good catch. Yeah. Restaurateur. I know you like this title, so I'm going to let you read it, dude. Have bad fireworks?

Blame the team. Boom. A half. Posted by a haphazard. Let's see. The kids today, they just have no clue, dude. Like, they're having fun with those Twizzlers And I was like, oh, Swizzlers? What the hell do you call them? Sparklers?

I was like, oh, these are Those are gay sticks, dawg You know, those aren't real Twizzlers I don't mean to use that to kids I didn't even see that coming Having fun with those Swizzlers? Or Twizzlers, what do they call them? Oh, sparklers.

Oh, yeah. Those are gay sticks. I hope we use that voice too. Your dad is so dumb. That was awesome. What the hell do you call them? Sparklers? Those are gay sticks, dog.

You know, those aren't real Twizzlers. He said it wrong again. Those aren't real Twizzlers. He's in a rung again. Those aren't real Twizzlers. I promised my wife and kids next year we're doing things different. We're doing things different. If I gotta drive to Tijuana, I'm gonna drive to Indiana. There's some fireworks in the crowd tonight.

He's gonna go to Mexico. Mexico. You know, mom's been to Mexico. She came here illegally. She knows where fireworks are. Preservation. We getting that black cat. We going black cat.

I feel like you have cool fireworks, Jen. Didn't you used to? Here's my impersonation of Schaub's kids in the year. They left their hands at M80s.

Didn't, weren't fireworks created in China or Asia? I think that sounds right. Yeah. I think so, right? Because gunpowder. We're not going to look it up. Yeah, no.

They always go to Vegas. There's like a little area near Vegas. You can get all of it. Can I pay him a little cheddar? Pick up a couple for your boys? Remember I got you some before, but I don't think you ever wanted to use them. No, I got them,

but you gave them to me in like November oh yeah weren't there some like sitting in the fire yeah and it got so hot he doesn't have a beanie on

yeah I like you sorry you got excited oh yeah he's got the I'm looking at the setup they got there that's a big switcher

oh shit how much money do these guys make dude I don't know they're not that broke yeah he's got the the monitor setup

a nice ass mac audio interface big switcher sorry he brought that in himself yeah i'm a numbers guy naturally i'm looking at the number of stuff he's got here and i was like hey i feel like this it was a safe it was a safe it was like major but also i don't want like the disneyland where i gotta shoot him out of a bazooka. What the fuck do you want, dude? He's like the perfect science of fireworks. He goes into Vegas and he's like, I want like an M80. You know, I don't want to look gasted.

Yeah. I feel like somebody gave him like nice fireworks once. And then he's like, no, dude, I'm not trying to blow up the neighborhood. And then like, oh, so you want the Twizzlers or whatever they're called, the Sizzlers. Sizzlers. He's like, what are you, trying to give me gay sticks? If I was the fireworks salesman, I'd be like, next.

Just like. Yeah, I can't deal with it. Yeah. I got. Trying to get arrested. You light over there, you run away. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Boom, boom, boom.

Yeah, yeah. No, I don't need like the real deal. Like the dodgers game somebody hits a grand slam bottom of the ninth i you know i need the stuff put on the ground and kind of go it does its thing but cops can't see it you know um yeah man yeah man oh. This is a fun episode, dude. Yeah. We still got fucking five tabs open. Oh, shit. All right.

So this is posted by Hap Hazard. It's triggering when people wear masks and mind their own business. This is a personal attack on you, dude. Just kidding. You don't wear masks. Oh, yeah. Get out of here. What are you doing?

Well, it's a weird thing. It's rude. I have all kinds of weird shit that goes on. When I see someone, like I'll just see a family sitting there rigid with masks. They've all got the really good. That'll trigger me. All of them are like this. That'll trigger me. I'm like, I want to fucking like, all right, I know who you are.

That's rich to say for two guys that went across the country giving people COVID. The family might have, maybe they all have COVID. Yeah. What is this? And mind their own business. Okay. It's true. When people wear masks, mind their own business.

Yeah, dude. I don't like masks. No. Who likes masks? Nobody. Nobody, I don't think. Yeah. I hate it every second of masks. No. Who likes masks? Nobody. Nobody, I don't think. Yeah. I hate it every second of masks.

Yep. You like my own breath? Thanks. All right. So this is, I mean, you know, just a quick update on this whole situation. Okay. One devil's advocate. One, I did like wearing masks in the mall because I felt like I was invisible.

Oh, okay. I don't really like being in the mall. The only reason why I like masks is because I feel like I was invisible. I don't really like being in the mall. The only reason why I like masks is because I feel like I have an uneven jaw. And so that kind of like, you know, see bait and switch. I don't think you have an uneven jaw, but I understand the feeling. Yeah, you know, it's like

sometimes I'm like, how do I fit in a mask? Yeah, sometimes it's like that's a big man. How does a big guy fit in that? Yeah, but then it's like, you know, I put that mask on. It fits great. Yeah. I hate when people bring that up, though. This one's two C's don big mask. That's a big guy fitting that. Yeah, but then it's like, you know, I put that mask on. It fits great. Yeah. I hate when people bring that up, though. This one's two C's don't count.

Posted by Nero FMX. We really need a rundown of all the mistakes from the launch of this site. As you can see, it's big boy production with two C's. Oh, fuck, dude. If it doesn't have three C's, it ain't real. You can't write this shit, dude. Yeah. How do they do it? Yeah. How do they do it? Yeah.

And it's probably their way of no liability being two C's. No. Yes. As the CEO has said. They'll run that by the judge. Like, judge, there's two C's on it. You can't hold us accountable. Yeah. We did it by accident with three C's.

And then the judge is like, well, I do declare. All right. So this one is going to be rough to watch. accident with Reese's. And then the judge is like, well, I do declare. Alright, so this one is going to be rough to watch, but what isn't on this show, right? Yeah. It's posted by SpiritualCaptain797. Who cares? Bapa

doesn't care what they've done as long as the economy is up. Any guesses as to what the who cares is? Nah, I don't know. I can't even guess. You? You've already seen it, yeah. It's something they're surrounded by, so let's see here.

And you've been doing this for, when he was the governor of Louisiana, he had this. You got accused of rape in Arkansas. Yeah, he was like, it's like. Well, my thing is, okay, how's the economy doing? Border safe? I don't give a fuck. Well, I mean, dude. Oh, man.

It's all on the fly, though, right? Papa doesn't have time to think these things out, okay? Let's not judge. I mean, he talks for a living. Sometimes he's not going to fully flesh stuff out. Most of the time, he does. Most of the time, it's 100% thought out, great points of view. Three Cs.

Three Cs. Rain energy keeps him crisp and ready to, you know, we've seen what he's like on Monday morning. But this clip, he fucked up. He went Baja mode. He should have been in traction control. It happened. Oh, shit, dude.

The fucking mouse went Baja mode right now. Mouse is like, fuck this show. I'm out. Okay, we're back. All right, let's see here. The last one of the day, dude. It's talking a bunk. Okay.

Talking a bunking Bronco. Is that what it is? Yeah. Talking a bunking Bronco. Who the fuck are we posted this one? Damn, we're so close to the end. I'm losing my brain. Let's see this one.

It's one thing to rope cattle. It's one thing to ride a bucking bronco those guys get on those bucking broncos and you know i'm fucking the bull some guys can oh no the horses first i know some of these words bulls are last then i don't know if you've seen this when you went there. They get some stallion who's wild. The fucking thing is like, I'm not dealing with this shit. I'm a wild horse. Like a bunken bronco? Oh, really, dude? It's so confusing.

Yeah, that shop doesn't know the words. But for me, he stopped Callan from going into the stallion. The horse that has the hair, that's like a mentor, you know, that horse that like has the hair. That's like a man's hair, but like, not like a gay man, like a hot man's hair. And they just going to do all that shit.

So we didn't get to say that. Or fortunately, dude. Yeah, true. But yeah, that's it for this week. All right.

See you next week. Bye. Bye.