10 Minutes of Schaub - Brendan Schaub is DISGUSTED by Al Pacino's daughter! | 10 Minutes of Schaub #54

Episode Date: June 6, 2023

The fifty fourth epiosde of 10 Minutes of Schaub

All right. No song this week. I know that's redacted B, but oh really dude. Yeah. There's nothing. Oops. Mr.

Spoiler alert. My guy over here is going to tell you a little bit about why you take it over. Mr. Whole foods. Boner alert. Yeah. After next week,

I'm probably not going to be doing the show anymore because I've been banned from a comedy open mic called the chatterbox by one Ricky Macias from the Podcast for no reason. And so I can't really continue doing something that's kind of affiliated with that kind of stuff. And I apologize. I love doing the show. There's still a week.

If I'm unbanned within the week, then I'll be back playing the guitar and whatnot. You know what I mean? We have a hot song coming next week, right? Yeah. I mean, it's a hot song coming next week, right? Yeah. I mean, it's all dicey, dicey B. I am going to miss Gerardo.

He makes the songs great, but at the same, and you know, I built the floor you walk on. He built the ground we walk on. He is redacted. He did. I mean,

the show is basically, will probably be blockbuster without him, but at the same time, he's a great guy and I've never met him. So Brandon will continue doing the show though. Yeah. I can't talk, but you know,

I'm going to bet on myself. B this is my showtime moment. I will keep doing it every Chris Monday morning, every Chris, every Chris Tuesday. He's already forgotten when the show comes out. He's moved on B. Yeah.

You know, I mean, he's grown a lot before, actually, um, before, you know, he was,

he was basically not even a human being or what is it? That shot said he had no, he was really, it wasn't even really a guy. Oh yeah. He has no soul. He has a dark soul. Um,

he's still a person. What's that? It wasn't person. He wasn't even a person. Okay. He's done a lot. He did a lot of therapy he needs more

but anyways hope you keep watching the show wish Gerardo the best wish everybody the best see ya hey welcome back to 10 Minutes of Shop. Thanks for tuning in. Like and subscribe, comment, review.

Join the Patreon if you want. Everything's on Spotify, but that's not why you're here. You're here to watch 10 Minutes of Shop, so start the timer now. Play the chain clip. All righty oh the first clip is uh posted by ethan airy it's called i don't know how old this clip is but i just came across it and it's hilarious ah refreshing an old dish yes let's see you guys know how maybe you guys were like this in class or in school growing up, when I see a word, it can be challenging for me. If I hear it, I'm good. If I hear the correct pronouncement of the song or a word, then I'm good.

But if I just read it, it's like, Jesus Christ. Especially if it's foreign. Yep. Names are tough. Names are tough. Yeah. Names are tough. Even Chin was like, names are tart names are tough yeah names are tough even even uh chin was like names are tart he's rubbing off on chin what do you say pronunciation how do you say it let me see

the pronouncement of the song pronounce or pronouncement now to name pronounce pronounce an eight pronouncement pronounce in asia that's where where a word wants to die. Pronounce in Asia. Pronounce in Asia. That's where Shab stumbled on a new thing. It's when you have to, a word no longer wants to be used. Let's see if there's anything else to this. Like Gringo Poppy deserves a pronunciation.

Pronounce in Asia? Yeah, pronounce in Asia. It's tough for some reason. Let me see. Names are tough. Especially Russian names. Say it one more Asia. It's tough for some reason. Let me see. Names are tough. Especially Russian names. Say it one more time. Yana Kunitskaya.

Yana Kunitskaya. Yeah, yeah. He just heard it. Yeah. He cannot say it. This is a break into a Shakira song there. Waka waka. Waka waka.

Africa. Yeah. John Africa. Yeah. John Africa. Okay, so this one's called Dalia getting annoyed at Bapa. Posted by Minimum Sky 2305. I'm going to go to the bathhouse and I'm like, oh, Godzilla. No, dude. Oh, Godzilla, I'm back.

No, don't. Godzilla, back. I liked doing my joke, and then when you did that, I got upset. There's a lot of these kind of people doing this crazy stuff. Or another guy, he was crashing a plane for his TikTok or something. He jumped out of a plane pretending it was crashing. The plane crashed into the, I think, California mountains. This guy fucking knows every clip that ever happened. Guys, I've been reading about this for a while.

I read this one video here. I'm sorry I know what's going on in the world. Do you? I would love to talk about politics, but you stupid fucks. You play video games and you watch bad movies. My bad. I've been watching. I'd love to talk about the NBA finals, but you don't know shit.

NBA Heat won. The NBA Heat won. The NBA Heat. That's their names? The NBA Heat. finals but you don't know shit nba heat won the nba nba's favorite nba heat won the nba it's like uh having a podcast with a kid i probably said that before but a really annoying kid yeah yeah shut up a racist kid. A child that's racist. Yeah. But they don't understand. He just hears Japanese and he starts doing Godzilla voice. Mm-hmm. Not good.

Nope. Dicey dicey. Yeah. I don't know. Chris D'Elia has nowhere else to go, though. He really is trapped now. Yeah, he's not unlike the people in the Godzilla movie that are running away from Godzilla, but he's so big there's nowhere to go.

There's no way to escape Godzilla. Yeah. There's no way to escape Godzilla. Yeah. There's no way to escape. Dilley has passed. Same thing. Brennan job is Godzilla. Hilarious. All right.

So this one's posted by medical emergency team. It's called Bapa tries to return an RV. He rented for three days after one night because he can't sleep and blames the woman that rented it to him. And then there's a subtitle that says brain dent never just takes responsibility for his own stupid actions. The fish store didn't tell him how fast the fish gets big. And this lady didn't tell him he wasn't going to sleep great in the RV. Such a piece of shit.

He also clearly also is still clearly on addies he also mentions the family was having a blast but he canceled the trip because he couldn't sleep well man that's amazing though all of the writing there was great i mean it's enough right the clip is just the icing on the cake because the writing is so funny all the things that baba does wrong he blames it and then he goes back and yeah great job i like how the clip is 27 seconds, but that title took like a minute to read. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of exposition, but good exposition. Let's see.

It's not like outrageous. Right. Brian, zero sleep. And I go, I'm going to return early. So the two days I paid for, I'm going to need my money back. She goes, absolutely not. I go, what do you mean? She goes, you can take it now if you want, but it's yours until Saturday.

I go, I know, but I can't sleep. She goes, that sounds like a you problem. I go, it is, 100%. But you never told me that's not going to fit. She goes, again, you rented it until Saturday. Do you have a time machine where I can drink less milk and eat less food? Wow, that was quick. But yeah, no, I mean, the description was great.

And first of all, he's wearing a pride San Diego shirt. So thank him. Happy pride month for the cats out there. But yeah, if you rent something, it's like, yeah, there's either, you either pay for it or there's a cancellation fee, right? It's like Airbnb. There's, if you cancel, there's, you got to check those things, Bob. Bob doesn't strike me as someone who reads the contract, right? Yeah. But Bob is human though, dude. Cause if, if you cancel, there's, you got to check those things, Bob. Bob doesn't strike me as someone who reads the contract, right? Yeah. But Bob is human though, dude. Cause if I go to RV, I'm not thinking about sleep. I'm thinking about camping. You know what I mean? Right. I mean, is that, is that what you think they did? They went to RV to go camping somewhere?

I don't know. Well, yeah. I wonder what did he, what did he get an RV for? Where's he going? Get a fucking hotel room. Yeah, you're rich. Yeah, but like I said, he probably just didn't think about the sleep thing. But what's Bapa is for him to get upset about it. It's like, Doc, okay, you're not going to sleep for three days then. Yeah, yeah. I'm sure you'll get tired enough to sleep in a shitty RV bed eventually.

Yeah, maybe it's the Addys, right? He says he's on Addys. Maybe that's why he can't go to sleep, Papa. Taking too many Addies, start thinking about baddies, scrolling through DMs and all that stuff. I couldn't sleep either if I was on drugs. Yeah. Okay, what are we doing here?

The next thumbnail, all these things going through his head. I mean, it's not the bed, dude. Yeah, yeah. Maybe stop looking at screens all day. Yeah. There's a lot of things you could try at least, besides yelling at this poor RV lady. I mean, Chris D'Elia said it. He's looking at clips all day. Yeah. There's a lot of things you could try, at least, besides yelling at this poor RV lady. I mean, Chris D'Elia said it.

He's looking at clips all the time, dude. Exactly. And now this RV lady's homeless, too. Yeah. It's just, it's never-ending. Never-ending with Papa, dude. Well, let's go to the next clip. It's posted by Sharpen Your Teeth.

It's called Papa Talks Kiddos Eating His Addies. Ba-ba-ba-beast of a dad. Oh, God. Who is it by? Sharpen Your Teeth? Sharpen Your Teeth. Today, you just told me that you had this whole addiction with Adderall. Awkward.

I told you before this. No, but I know what I'm saying. Today, you just said that you were saying. It's about Jay. Yes, awkward. But you said you kept interrupting. I said it on road. You were interrupting all the time when we were doing the podcast.

Remember that? Like six months ago. People were always saying that to me. And I didn't know what the fuck was going on. I didn't know you were on Adderall. No one did. Right, but you would constantly. Except for one guy who was telling it to me.

Right. But you would constantly interrupt. I never understood what was going on. I wish. Even my wife, she had no clue. So she was doing the laundry, and I was telling him that she was doing it. Because before I do stand-up, I'd have the pills. So I would wear these jeans.

I'd have pills here, here. And then you forget because you're going through it. And she was doing the laundry and wringing it out, and they fell on the floor. My kids were like, oh, candy. I'm like, nope. Was it those jeans for a bit? What? You wore those jeans for a bit?

Yeah. It'd be funny if somebody came through, because they're saying they don't do it anymore, right? Somebody comes through and they have some sort of Adderall machine that tests to see if you have it, and they go, eh, positive, eh, positive. They're all on it right now. Yeah. And then he shits on his jeans.

This one, I don't really see a difference between the jeans, but I don't know. Yeah, I think it's funny that people were the jeans, but I don't know. Yeah. I think it's funny that people were telling Brian he was getting cut off a lot. And also I think it's funny that nobody knew he was doing Adderall when he's in like group chats, obviously talking about addies and baddies, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Somebody, the people in the SEAL team think now, is that Jay Moore? Looks like Jay Moore. That's Jay Moore? And it looks like him sort of, but I cannot tell. Let me see. YouTube.clan.

That guy definitely looks like him, right? Am I totally redacted here? Yeah. No, I see the resemblance. That's why I'm going to. But then I thought Jay Moore is kind of bigger than that now. He is? Yeah, he got a little bigger.

Let's see. Oh, yeah. Jay Moore. Look at that. That's Jay Moore right there. I called it. Great guy. Never met him.

Bob Sugar. Wow. Yeah. Wu-Tang Clan got Jay Moore, look at that That's Jay Moore right there Great guy, never met him, Bob Sugar Wow Wu-Tang Clan got Jay Moore sober, dude Yeah, that's him Little known fact, he's dating the owner of the Lakers I mean He's dating Jeannie Buss? What?

Yeah, yeah Remember that poster I posted of like Jay Moore and Jeannie Buss, they have a comedy show together at the Ice House? Because her brother bought the Ice House. Yeah. Crazy, right? I'm a numbers guy. I keep up with this stuff.

We'll tell you what, the Ice House will go downhill if they just have Jay Moore there. Ooh. Gadooshed. Jay Moore just got gadooshed. All right, well, let's go to the next clip. This one's posted by Siphon Filter. It's called Boppa Going Through It Again.

Or Boppa Going Through It, not again, but you know. Yeah, but you get it. Yeah, we get it. What I think probably one of the biggest fights that ever happens can be Bo Nickel and Hamzat. What? That's the fight. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Got the names right. One of the biggest fights that ever happens can be Bo Nickel and Hamzat. Bo Nickel and Hamzat. What? That's the fight. Wait, wait, wait. Got the names right. One of the biggest fights that ever happens to me, Bo Nickel and Hamzat. Bo Nickel and Hamzat? Isn't it Kamzat? Maybe that's it. But Bo Nickel, I think, is right, right? Yeah, I think so.

I just didn't know if he was. I didn't know it was about a fight. It's a fight. That's the fight. Yeah. So, overall, dude, Massacred Garden delivered, and that's an understatement. I just want to say, I like how the shoe's back. Oh, and that's an understatement.

I just want to say I like how the shoe's back. Oh, yeah. His favorite shoes, man. Yeah. Might be having a drink out of that later. My favorite shoe. It's just a special place. People show out, man.

People absolutely show out. So great card, man. Great card. Card's different. Absolutely great card. What do you got, Jen? So it's not that he's sad. He looks like he's losing it.

What do you got, Jen? What do you think he's sad about? He just can't remember what to say next? I don't know, but I feel bad for Boppa, dude. I really do feel bad for Boppa. Oh, yeah? Why? Just because of Clipper?

Because everyone making fun of him and stuff, It's fucked up. I think. Yeah. You're right. People should not. No, I really do feel that way. I'm not trying to make a bit. I really feel like it's fucked. When I was trying to choose the clips for today, I'm like, dude, he's, I mean, you know. If a fucking referee sees a fight going one way,

they call the fight off, dude. He's at the point where he's been hit so many times. It's like, it's on, it's all over, but he doesn't stop though too. So it's like, all right,

you know, like he's trying to do his thing, but maybe it's just that it's, it's not as fit. He just realized it's not the favorite shoe. It's like the third favorite shoe. He meant to bring another shoe. Yeah.

Or something went wrong with the vlog that he did when he pulled it. So you think he's upset about a vibe? Yeah. The vibes off the vibe. And then he's upset about a vibe? Yeah, the vibe's off. And then he's like, that'd be great if we had, like, anytime he gets sad or mad, he could just be like, what else you got, Chin? We had a chin that could do something for us? I wish I had a chin.

Dude, I swear to God. I mean, this clip especially is just like, he's trying to talk about something else, but something's clearly on his mind. Honestly, to me, my guess is that my no bits, I think he's just tired. Yeah. Because this man does like 15 hours of podcasts. We do one.

Well, you do too. But like I'm tired as hell after, you know, just one. Yeah. So I get that. And the shop show is bad. It's not a good show he has to do however long that lasts food truck all this other stuff

he's that white boy that works too much and that's what happens I feel like he's being torn apart for being a fucking idiot does he even care though? he tries not to but you know he does dude he's like but he doesn't do any

this is the predicament when you're trying to be, like, on his side. Because then you start thinking about being a fucking bitch and, like, not telling people the truth. Like, he canceled all his European tour dates. Oh, right. And he's, like, saying that unforeseen circumstances. It's like, bro, you obviously know that nobody's going to believe that. Yeah. Tell us why.

Tell us that you didn't sell enough tickets. Be real. Right. He's not doing himself any favors. And then you get this sad fucking Brendan shop on the screen and I feel terrible for him. And I can't, I can't imagine people in Ireland or England buying tickets to watch shop.

Right. It just doesn't seem like something they do. Yeah. The little amount I know of Irish and English and whoever else in Europe, the continent, not the state. It's like, what would they relate to in the Gringo Poppy? Yeah. Or whatever Shab is talking about.

Maybe there's enough homeless cats to pay some tickets, but clearly not. You guys are fucking up, B. Yeah. Now he's not going to come. Now he can't do European clips. Now I think I'm truly homeless because I don't see a redemption arc. Because he's just like, it's two negatives trying to meet together.

The homeless cats and Brendan job will never fucking see eye to eye. And it's going to drive this man insane. And it's sad to watch. Yeah. I don't know what the redemption arc would be. I mean, he can't have on Marg anymore. That's over.

Not that that would, I mean, that would just be interesting to see because they fired him and all that. But what would the redemption arc be? I still have hope, Bob. I think it can turn around. But until then, I'll enjoy the ship going down.

I think he's pronouncing Asia, dude. Alright, well, fuck it. Let's go to the next clip. That was sad. Yeah. Let's see. This one clip. That was sad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let's see. This one needs some Addies.

Now we need some Addies to uplift the vibe. Dude, this one's posted by Max Powerbike. It's called Bomb Threat. Bomb Threat is this thumbnail right here. I told you we got a bomb threat in Indy, right? No. They were going to cancel the shows. What?

I didn't tell you guys. I told Kat this. Did you understand? Yeah. Got a bomb threat? What? I didn't tell you guys. I told Kat this. Did you know this, Jen? Yeah. Got a bomb threat. What? It was someone who hates shoes. They were actually really on it. Were they worried you were going to bomb? Come on, that's a good burn, dude.

Watch this, Lace. You can actually pinpoint the second when his heart rips in half. And... Classic. I told you we got a bomb threat. It's what everyone's thinking it when his heart rips in half. Classic. I told you we got a bomb threat. It's what everyone's thinking when he says it. Callan calls it out because he has to, but I liked it.

Yeah. I mean, it's good. That's young shop. That's shop that's fucking up all the time and whatnot. We got this fucking shop right here. It looks like he's days from death. Well, Callan served up a little spicy dish there. Yeah. He kept him busy. This one's posted by Tiger

Thig with three G's. It's called English flag, Irish flag, and then two dice. And then the subtitle is Thig Boy Euro Step. Let's see. England, I did all big boy theaters. Really? step. Let's see.

England, I did all big boy theaters. Really? He didn't do that, dude. There's no way. England, I did all big boy theaters. I did the O2. Turn the O2 to the O3. No, because I don't think I would do, I don't know if I would do them or not. I mean, you're bigger than me, for sure.

Yeah, I know, but I don't know. I'm a little more international. Wait, do it one more time, sir. I botched that. I'm done. I did all big boy theaters. I did O2. Really?

Yeah. Be cool, man. No, because I don't think I would do... I don't know if I would do them or not. Really, dude? Yeah, I know, but I don't know. Really? Yeah, a little more international.

Yeah, the really more international. Yeah. The really part really hurt shop. Be cool. That's a real thing. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a little more international. Well,

clearly not. You canceled your tour and no one knows who you are. No one knows who you are. B. Oh, what's, which podcast is that from? I'm not sure.

Maybe probably golden hour, right? Yeah, maybe. Turn the O2 into the Shop 3. No way. I mean, I guess it's hard to tell, but I assume he's telling the truth. I think he probably did do the O2 when he was first being a comedian. That's insane, dude.

Isn't that a huge one? Drake brags about how big it is. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, the o2 is huge but you know someone say the hugest how did it even fit in there guy of his size any facet come on let's see uh i'll try to search it really quick but keep talking yeah i mean yeah let's let's let's do the research here uh we're we are both numbers guys have to make sure this isn't a lie. Because in my mind, Europe and England,

I mean, not Europe and England. Europe is probably, they see shop tickets go out on Ticketmaster or whatever. And they're like, not one of my guys. Shop. Who the hell is Brendan Chopin? I don't think I'll buy that. When did he perform at the O2? He's from Ireland.

Brandon's an Irish name, but he looks like a Mexican. Gringo Papi. Let's see here. Comedy. Okay, so that's his fight record. Stand-up comedy. In 2019. Okay, wait. So we couldn't find anything as far as

Brendan Shaw performing at the O2. But I believe him. I mean, I do believe him too. Way back when, he's probably not able to sell that shit out at all. No. But he's able to perform there when he was like starting his comedy career. You know? When he got the blessing from Mr. Rogan.

Yeah. Probably. Almost anybody, I guess, can do it. Yeah. In any facet. Any facet. All right, I guess, can do it. Yeah. In any facet. Any facet. Alright, let's go to the next clip. This one's called Absolute Gold

Cry Emojis featuring Meatball. Schlubb gets clowned by Theo for immediately recycled joke posted by Big Daddy Mez. This is a normal picture except his eyes. You can tell that 60mg is of Adderall right there. Are you on Adderall right now? I woke up at like seven in the morning go to the gym so it's starting to

like phase out of my system by now and how many milligrams you take this morning 20 if you hold your breath it'll amp it back up heavy breathing will amp that adderall right up dude what yeah so do people light your ass up uh yeah we got a couple of good ones in here. Let's hear it. So Travis White says, you look like the kid who bought a butterfly knife at the county fair. Funny.

Not that funny. Sorry. So with these clips that we've been watching, a lot of them are older clips, a lot of what they're talking about is just doing drugs and how much drugs they do, Adderall specifically. Kind of like how they only talk about now all

the success they have and their numbers and all that. And it's making my redacted brain is like, do me and you need to do Adderall to get to bump up our numbers, B? Hell no, dude. Because then we'll just start talking about drugs and numbers, dude. Yeah. That's the evil, the bad cycle.

It's like, yes, we'd have fame and money and a whole subreddit calling us losers. But at the cost of, we'll just end up talking about how much views we get. Our new listener base will just be mathematicians. You're right. Yeah. Audio is king.

And to get an audio, to get audio, Adderall. Adderall is king. A drug that can kill you yeah all right so this one's posted by holo viscer it's called uh brendan swab lies to rogan then accuses vin diesel of being homoerotic i mean you know there's a long list of people that he does that too really you know i mean well yeah he calls everyone fucking oh shop yeah i thought for a second i thought you're saying rogan oh wait let's see joe uh you think he's homoerotic brandon for sure you see him barbecuing with the white yeah that line we watch this already that makes no sense to me i don't i don't understand that diesel i don't live my life one quarter guess guess who else isn't vin diesel vin diesel yeah you right you right fucker wear sunglasses at

night yeah he does i don't night. Yeah, he does. I don't know what that means. Yeah, he does. You know he's quietly becoming a billionaire from the Fast and Furious franchise? Really? Because he owns it. Yeah. It's his?

Yeah, it's his. So like Universal, the ride and all that, he's quietly becoming a billionaire. He's probably in a castle somewhere doing Caligula shit. And fucking dudes. You think so? For sure. Really? You don't get those vibes from him i didn't even when he's in

the wife beater like barbecue and all the success for me now is when shop calls me gay yeah i can't wait yeah that's what i want yeah i want shop to go on his podcast and talk about how you're gay yeah yeah i think you know i think uh shop thinks he's gay cause he probably wants to fuck him. Maybe. Yeah. Very possible. You know? Yeah.

If you're just randomly pick a guy, there's no, there's really nothing about Vin Diesel that I noticed that it's like, okay. Yeah. Well, I don't know why a wife beater would make you gay. And,

and then you're like, that guy's gay. Then yeah, maybe that's what you're thinking about. Yeah. Brendan shop made his wife sign a pass. You're allowed to fuck Vin Diesel's what you're thinking about. Yeah. Brendan Schaub made his wife sign a pass. You're allowed to fuck Vin Diesel. That's his hall pass. His hall pass is the Fast

and the Furious guy. Alright, this next one's posted by Mr. Tittlewinks. Tittlewinks. It's called Every Slap Dick and Harry Giving Their Opinions. Schaub wants to get Fast and Furious with Vin Diesel's cog.

But we didn't have to deal with social media. Different animal now, man. These kids get on there and they're getting every comment, every slap, Dick and Harry giving their opinion. These kids are reading those comments. Guys are like, what? And it's bothering them. And it bothers them.

Trust me. It bothers them. Big time. Who's that guy in the red? I have no clue. Hey, you're right there, Sharp. Every slap, dick, and hair in these kids. Yeah, this guy talks my fucking language.

Oh, my God. They're on TikTok. They're all gay. Every slap, dick, and hair-y. Let's see. The Sharp Show. I want to see this. The Sharp Show.

Is it these guys? Yeah. Yeah, it's those guys. I believe Al Joe said that. In a perfect world, they'll defend it like once or twice, Yeah, it's those guys. I don't believe Aljo said that. In a perfect world, they'll defend it like once or twice and then he'll go up, give him a rubbish time and I'll tell you right now, I do believe

this and I don't want to, and I do, and I'm not shitting on Volkanovski. He's one of my short, bold, stocky heroes. So, Shobbs. Shobbs is asleep. They're cussing like at the very top of the show. Oh, and that does the,

yeah. Shops like they're trying to shadow ban me. It's YouTube. Yeah. Not the fact that your guests are just cursing randomly at the beginning. Yeah. They're giving every era. Otherwise known as Matt Sierra.

Yeah. They're giving every slapdick and Harry at the top of the show right there, dude. Yeah. Jesus Christ. Shobby just goes, dude. All right. Let's go to the next one. That's fucking, I'm going to try to incorporate that in my everyday speech. Now, every slapdick and hairy. It's pretty good. Yeah. Shab, some of the new language obviously is great that Shabby, so I enjoy it. It's the 10 fucking thousand hour rule, dude. He's, if he's fucking words up every 10, whatever, for 10,000 hours, he's going's gonna make some good ones dude william redacted spear yeah wait should we look up slap

dick and harry i think we should slap dick and hair i think it's tom dick and harry every slap dick and harry no well the first thing that pops up is that clip so i think what he's trying to say is tom dick and harry i think that's a saying tom dick and harry let me see oh yeah tom tom ordinary people and tom dick and harry yeah. Tom. Ordinary people in general. Tom, Dick, and Harry. Yep. Used to refer to ordinary people in general. Slap dick.

He's so slap. Where does he get that? Where does he get slap? Why does he make it gay? You want to slap dick? Gay or fighting. Yeah, I don't know. It would be, yeah.

We really, AI and shop should have a conversation. See what ChatGBT thinks of shop. Just film that. Yeah, I don't know. It would be, yeah. We really, AI and Shab should have a conversation. See what ChatGBT thinks of Shab. Just film that. Instead of AMA, it's like Shab on AI. I'm doing AI. It's like, your questions are redacted, so I can't answer them.

Every slap, Harry and Dick. All right, let's go to the next one. This one's called POV, Crystalia driving home after golden hour, number 31, headphones on. Posted by Icarus Lives. So this one's going to be redundant for one clip, I believe, but I thought it was pretty funny.

Nice. Crystalia driving home from Golden Hour 31 Special time This is an easy dish I'm gonna go to the bathhouse Oh Godzilla Oh Godzilla Godzilla bath I liked doing my joke

And then when you did that I got upset National Gymnastics joke and then when you did that i got upset national gymnast when she was uh like she stopped at like 14. she was like she won this state or something gymnastic is interesting do we continue there's no it's unbelievable no bomb so what bro they really fighting I'm gonna beat you to it Maybe they should Sad Tick-tock or something he jumped out playing pretend was crashed and played crashed into the I think Every clip that ever happened guys. I've been reading about this for a while

This one video here. I'm sorry I know what's going on in the world. Do you? I would love to talk about politics, but you stupid fuck. You play video games and you watch bad movies. My bad. I've been watching. I'd love to talk about the...

His wife. Yeah, yeah. She's a bad ass. Mexican, dude. Mexican. She ninja worried the wall to get here. Also, she's thicker, you know? My wife's like a ninja. Mexican, dude. I don't know. She's a ninja worried the wall to get here. Also, she's thicker, you know? My wife's like a stick.

Yeah. You know? Crowbar. But, anyway, I've been going fucking... They'd have to do a dance off. Yeah. I don't know if you want that either.

Yeah, dude. A Tina can't dance? Well, I mean, I don't know. It's like a black guy not being able to play basketball. I mean, either. Yeah, dude. Latina can't dance? Well, I mean, I don't know. It's like a black guy on a billiard ball. It's like basketball. I mean, bro. Ugh.

So what does D'Elia do when he gets home, do you think? He goes home, he's like smoking a cigarette. Furiously masturbates. Just very upset with himself and masturbating. Single tear rolls down.

Yeah. He's jacking off, he's crying. Ugh. And his wife's like, Chris, are you okay? And he's like, yeah. He still Single tear rolls down his neck. He's jacking off and he's crying. And his wife's like, Chris, are you okay? And he's like, yeah. He still has his dick in his hand. He's like, you're jacking off. Yeah, I'm fine.

Yeah. He's gone completely insane. Did Chop say something about black people again? Did he ruin your joke? Yeah. Honestly, I feel like Chris chris d'elio is spends a lot of his time focusing on his breathing hey oh right man he's just he's like watching the great the good times like he's like he puts on a special when he was famous dolphins fuck people

they did dolphins used to fuck people. Oh, my God. He's still a little bit from Dice, maybe. Yeah, he spends a lot of his time counting down from 10, you know? Little boy blue. He likes to just focus on anything mental because he's got a lot of intrusive thoughts. Fair enough, yeah.

Thank him. Or maybe not. He's got a lot of therapy that he goes to apparently. Therapy, yeah. He's probably doing that too. Alright, well this one. He used to not even be a real person. Yeah. This is the new gate. Cockroach gate. Oh yeah, yeah. It's posted

by Big White Dope. It's called Special Guest Joins the Episode. And they were like, he had a kid with his maid and he was like, oh look at this now. Here comes here he comes with his sling and dirt. We know how he is. And they were like, he had a kid with his maid, and he was like, oh, look at this now. Here he comes with his slinging dirt. We know how he is. And everyone's like, yeah, you're slinging dirt. Governor. Look at him, though, dude.

Just identical, really. Look, he had a beautiful mistake. He had a beautiful mistake. He has a wonderful child. You never regret a child. It all works out. How do they catch this stuff dude yeah dude they these are chang scientists man my god does at the end when everything is gone

the only thing that will survive is uh cockroaches and tfk clips the cockroach confirmed homeless dude he's trying to get out of there trying to to get out of there. Trying to get in, get some Flaming Hot Cheetos, and get out. Yeah. All right, well, let's go to the next clip. This one's posted by George Harris48. It's called You Guys Got Me Good. This is what come to my mind watching this. Wait, so what do you mean you guys got me good?

This isn't that guy's account, right? I don't know. I don't know what that means. I'm redacted, so. Let's see. This is the clip, though. I just like her as a person. Well, yeah.

She's young. You're old. That's the thing. It means everything, right? I don't know about that. You want to play this game, right? No, but I like being around her. So does Al Pacino.

I'm around her for a bit too long around for young energy yeah oh keeps you young yeah there's a reason why old guys like young chicks geez this is great isn't that crazy talk i've never heard of that before you should be that's not that's not a through line throughout all history yeah you should be in prison but whatever what what do you got chin what that's what like being a supporter of Shob will do to you. Yeah. You got to kind of fake laugh and all that. So you don't know what you're doing. You're fake. You're like, should I be like smiling or what?

Yeah, this is good. This is where you're talking about Al Pacino's kids. It's funny. So whoever that guy is, I feel for him. That's what I looked like when I was watching Gringo Poppy for the first time. Yeah. And there's evidence for the first time. Yep. And there's evidence of it, B. Yeah.

On the old episode where it's the first one that kicked it off. Damn. Dude, I bet you Charles Manson would have been homeless as fuck. Oh, yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent. Yeah. That's the only time he speaks coherently when he's fucking talking shit about Schaub.

Yeah, I wish, man. I would love to hear Manson's take. All right. Let's go to this next clip. It's posted by It's All About Trout called Brendan Gets Verbally Gutter Stomped. Oh wait, there's a subtitle.

Rap Report unloads on B-Shob and then he responds with the kind of Porsche he has and name drops. He's truly a walking, talking L. Let's see. LeBron needs someone to dish it out to. You're kind of dressed up like LeVar Ball today. Like, how old are you, man?

Yeah, man. How old are you, bro? You know what? When I stepped out on my purple Porsche today, I thought, fuck you, Brendan. Fuck you, bro. You have on a straight up stonewashed. Like, Brendan, you're getting too gassed up on your E! channel. Dude.

Let me tell you something. I haven't worked in a hot minute, I can tell you, though. Okay, but check this out. Check this out. Be careful. I work for Bravo. Bravo. I know those are your boys.

And I'm going to tell you something right now. Don't make me make Andy Cohen go bad on you now. Medium text. We're good. We're good. Medium text. We're good. No, we're good, too.

Okay. We're good, too. And I'll're good. No, we're good too. Okay. We're good too. And I'll tell you something. I'm saying one tax. What? One tax. One tax on what? You know what it is?

A lot of people probably want to bed him down at Bravo. But from what I've seen, I would imagine a lot of the men and the women. No, but he's, all that bed him down at Bravo and E and oh, he like the fighter, and he's got like, and it's like, I'm a fighter, I haven't fought in 10 years, yet I still have this fucking deformed ear, because I want everyone to know that I'm a fighter. Like, I don't want to get the ear fixed, because I want people to still think I'm tough. I'm not tough. What can I do, rap? What can I do? Train that fucking thing.

Hey, he's sensitive about it. We're in Hollywood. If you spend all that time, if you spend as much time as you did on that ear as you did on these goofy fucking outfits, you'd be better off. Fix your fucking ear. Hey, man. Dude, you dress like a stepdad in Highlands. I've worn the same thing.

He earned that. You dress like a stepdad. He earned that ear. What's your name? Chin? Yeah. And what's your name? Cat.

Cat. If you look at every single time I've come on this show. Oh, my God. Some valid points about how he dresses. That's what we all think. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Never thought about fixing the ear.

I don't know. Is that something you can fix your ear, I guess? I don't know. Cauliflower ear? Get it. Get it. Like, surgically? I have no clue.

All I know is that this is a special time, dude. This is the time he's thinking about. Yeah, he's thinking back on us. Randomly getting berated by Michael Rapaport about his gross hair. Interesting. Cut to him now with the swollen face going, that was a good time.

Yeah, I mean, he does look a lot worse now. His face is all swollen and he's got dip and all that stuff. He's on Kratom and Tiger Thick and everything. He looks like back then maybe it was only Adderall. Maybe we should just go back to that. Bro, he's got 123,000 people that don't like him. That's crazy.

Yeah, and he just keeps growing. The list gets bigger and bigger. Oh, my God, dude. I feel so bad for him this week. Yeah, this was an L week. He had to cancel the tour or whatever, and then he said he was going on tour, but it was only like three shows in San Diego or something.

But like I said, too, it's like unforeseen circumstances dog you can't say that anymore you can't cancel shows for no fucking reason anymore yeah it's all about being really honest uh now you can i don't i mean you should have been honest anyways but people are very honest about things nowadays or somewhere yeah and that people like that more i think that's the reason why nobody liked chris dilly when he came back too he's just like not more, I think. That's the reason why nobody liked Chris D'Elia when he came back, too. He's just like not addressing it directly. Like, it's never the right answer, I don't think. Especially having all these examples.

Just fucking talk to people like you're not a politician, dude. Yeah, you have a podcast. You're not beholden to anything anymore. Just say what you want to say. Jesus Christ. Alright, well, this one's called, uh, Brandon Chobb is the biggest piece of shit in every facet. Posted by, I downvote, I've downvote cake days.

I've abandoned my tour. So his kids suffer from. Ugliness. No, they suffer from. Oh my God. Dude. I take back everything I said, dude. Fuck this.

Yeah. I watched some of this and it's just, who's going to laugh at that? Yeah. What is that? Your kids are ugly. That is just not funny. Blunt. It's like the Mark was saying.

Blunt. Stupid. Yeah. Just like, you're fat. You're on roids. You have a small dick. Yeah. There needs to be something else with it.

It's the worst form of Los Angeles comedy. There's no wit in things that he's trying to be witty with no it's like you look like a stepdad yeah that's fucking stupid idiotic jock humor but i mean like even if you're in if when i played sports back in the day um rec league uh well there's the insults were much better than you know what he's doing now in his 40s yeah when i was a child better insults dude and one t-shirts have better insults yeah al pacino confirmed homeless dude for sure yeah look at this guy dude i take back everything i said i just wanted to reiterate that yeah let's go's go. Pick on the one with him with the glasses, the nurse one. What do you mean? This one?

Brennan. Yeah, that one. Brennan. Come on, dude. Brennan. Ain't that a bitch? Just hold on. Ain't that a bitch?

You're Al Pacino. I thought men don't talk shit on earwaves. Yeah. Well, this is definitely talking. There's talking shit about earwaves about someone's children. He's like, listen, guys, you can talk about me all you want. It hurts my feelings. But, you know, the guys that start talking about my family,

that's what you're doing now, dummy. What is wrong? What are we doing here, Bapa? Yeah. Moron. Dude. Ain't that a bitch, dude? Yeah.

Is he wearing a pride shirt? I guess so. I don't know. You're the one that said that. It looks like it to me. Good. That's, thank him. Yeah, dude. I don't know. You're the one that said that. It looks like it to me. Good. That's, thank him. Yeah, dude. I don't know. Fuck this fool.

Like, he's used a lot of talk shit about women on earwaves. Yeah. Well, yeah, exactly. This is like, trash. Yeah. He should get a shirt that says fucking, uh, I'm a bitch. Yeah.

Take off that shirt. Put on a shirt that says I'm a bitch. If I told you I was a cuck, would you believe me? Yeah, dude. Yeah. I bet you he doesn't like watching his wife get fucked. You know what I mean? Damn. Yeah. Name in the water. I mean, look at him. He's giggling to himself,

dude. He's like, yeah, do it. Okay. Let's finish the clip. Is that his son? God, wait. You know what, Al? You've had a good run, right? He goes, I sure have.. Okay. Let's finish the clip. Is that his son? God, wait. You know what, Al? You've had a good run, right? He goes, I sure have. I'm going to give you the two uncle's kids.

Stop saying that. Listen, there's a bad picture. How about you get some pants that fit? Yeah. How about you look at your pants? Yeah. And this awful shirt you're wearing. Truly awful. You are in your 40s.

Yeah. This is, none of this is okay okay this is a very confusing week for me why is he wearing a hat yeah that fucking bean's not that cold very confusing i felt bad for this guy and now i fucking hate him dude it's strange let's see rheumatoid arthritis you know what you're right come buy a pack of gum straight into it. He's got a great ass. I'm just doing Pacino stuff. You're right. It's the angle. You just wake up and you go,

fuck, dude. That's their mom. Bring up Warlock you talked about. Oh my god. With you, it's kind of like I thought I was out, then they pull me back in. Yeah. Addiction with Adderall. I just want to say, too, it's just not funny, dude, ever.

It's just like there's no thought behind it. Like I want to say Brendan Chobb, he'll say anything, right? That's not a good thing though. No. Because like you have to have some time to formulate something. You know what I mean? Yeah. You have to, you know, have a point of view or. Yeah. Form yeah formula that's a good way of saying it he doesn't he just goes yeah

like that it's just there's no fucking awareness of what you're doing you just say shit but then you're like let me just say shit but that there's a cost to all these things yeah i don't understand why you would look at and be like look, look, he's got ugly kids. Yeah. That's stupid. That's like what dumbasses on the internet do. Yeah. You know when you're scrolling through and you see some picture of somebody

and then you look at the replies and it's like, man, that bitch is ugly. It's like, why would that person do that? That's my thought. Yeah. I think it's a normal thought for me to have. I think that's what most people. But that guy that's like fucking, that guy, that husband is fucking ugly as shit. He thinks that's the right thing to do.

Yeah. What are we doing here? How long do you think it took Joe Rogan to realize that Brendan has not a witty bone in his body? I think that Joe Rogan is so high that maybe like the Schaub friendship totally came out of just being

stoned out of his mind. And he was like, ah, Schaub's got like an affable guy. You know, maybe when you're talking to him and he's not performing, you're like, this guy's affable. He's all right. He says words wrong. That's funny. I like this clown man.

And then now that he's seen what has become, he's like, I didn't know I had this power. What power? Joe Rogan had the power to make one of the dumbest people alive get an audience. And now people all over see him, you know,

say words wrong, people's names wrong, call people's kids ugly, ask people to walk them to their truck, all this stuff. Yeah. I think to me, it's about the wit though.

There's no wit. There's a period of time where Joe Rogan realized oh he just says things when did you think he realized it? maybe I want to say maybe five years in you know?

and then he was like you know he kind of weaned it off he had him on a couple more times after that but there has to be some sort of realization he never jordan lenny'd him though you know like mice and men yeah like shop look at over there there's um an ugly child he's like goes behind him no george and lenny though well what about this though like you know did you ever realize like oh i'm just trying to be easy now and then you try to challenge yourself more comedically where you're like oh i'm just doing things because it's easy as opposed to challenging myself do you know what i'm saying

i get i yeah maybe at the beginning the when the fire was started to start comedy he had more of a mind about him and then maybe he bombed once and he's like i gotta just be like chill about it and then he's just been in that mode ever since you know well i think most people are trying to write new bits and stuff and like funny and get funnier and funnier him writing bits is just him either other people doing it for him or him saying all right i heard something like on the news about someone being gay or whatever fat and he's like that's his whole thing he's like oh yeah the blood light thing that someone's gay right yeah they're like it's like, I'm going to pretend to suck a dick. Yeah.

Yeah. That'd be really good. Yeah. Or like Jim Abbott not having legs. Yeah. Yeah. Someone is in a wheelchair. Magic Johnson, HIV.

The A to B, never A to C. Yeah. Yep. But I feel like I've had that in my life where I was doing jokes because I thought it was like, oh, it's right there. Nobody sees it. It's like, oh, everyone sees it.

It's just fucking hacky, dude. Exactly. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you maybe first start. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well, like I would even say into comedy.

Yeah. I'm like trying things out. Maybe it's like my personality that's going to make it even funnier. Then it's like, oh, no, you have to like actually work on things. Not in Brandon's world. No. Well, I'm sure he will eventually see that regardless of not paying attention

to homeless cats and everything. I feel like he's going to fucking come to some place where he's like, I fucking suck, dude. Like it has to come from within, you know? Yeah. I mean, that's why I believe in the redemption arc. Yeah. You know, there's people that don't

and people that do. And I have to believe that someday Papa will realize the error of his ways. I don't know about that do. And I have to believe that someday Bapa will realize the error of his ways. I don't know about that. Only one way to find out. Let's go to another clip. Okay. We have these talks and then I read the title. Adderall was making you interrupt. You were constantly in, you were always in, you were constantly interrupting posted by weekend warrior let's see here did we already watch this I think so but I mean like the description

is different let's see addiction with Adderall no but I know but I'm saying today you just said you know today you were saying yes awkward but you said you kept interrupting on road you were interrupting all the time we were doing the podcast people were always saying that to me.

And I didn't know what the fuck was going on. I didn't know you were on Adderall. No one did. Right. But you were. Except for one guy who was selling it to me. Right. But you would constantly go out.

And I never understood what was going on. That's like, in my opinion, the best Jinx has to offer, dude. Yeah. They show in real time, Brendan being a fool. Yeah. You interrupt. He keeps interrupting. He loves to interrupt people.

He's balls deep in interrupting. If Shop had a cast of homeless cats around him to help him produce his podcast, I feel like it would be so much better, dude. Oh, yeah. Not everyone talking shit about Brendan, but telling him like, Doug, stop doing this. This is what we fucking hate about you. Yeah. Not only that, I mean, they give them a lot of helpful feedback, but the cats, they, what they do well is these funny edited videos.

They add in things, they make, they make clips of like cartoons and like cut, they splice in movie scenes and all that stuff. If that was part of the show it'd be great yeah i mean then it wouldn't even there wouldn't even be the need to be satirical or you could still do it yeah but they should just hire them i want to babe ruth this and like shoot my shot you know i mean you know he's like i'm gonna hit the ball over there yeah i have a feeling he's gonna make a huge drastic change in the near future

okay like i feel like uh the signs of that are canceling the whole fucking European tour. He's like, no, we're going to focus beer back at home because we're not selling enough tickets. Right. And he's going to try some way without saying it directly that he's going to try to incorporate the hatred towards him.

That would be awesome. Because here's what I think. Get Cats to help out of the show. Yeah. Stop doing stand-up the way he's doing it now. Don't completely stop. I mean, I'll be entertaining any either way because this standup is so bad to me that it's funny.

Yeah. But if he did stand up like more of like incorporating the hatred towards him into it, where he like, I don't know, starts doing shabbisms or talks about how dumb he is. And I don't know, there could, there could be something there. You know why I say that now too, though,

because of how funny that like, we just watched that clip twice. Yeah. The title of that makes it even funnier. Cause I didn't realize he was just interrupting Brian again, you know, him on purpose as funnier than some, like some George Carlton bits.

Honestly too. Like, I feel like he should just get rid of everyone. He should get rid of Dalia. He should get rid of D'Elia. He should get rid of Brian. Yeah. And do it himself. And then just like fully accept the fact

that you have some shortage in your brain that makes you like the lead character in 123,000 person subreddit. And fucking, it's just so hard because he won't do that, dude. You know? No, no.

He'll never do that. No. No chance. Anyways. All right. right sorry let's go next one okay so this one is a longer clip it's called 99 of podcast is sucking off toe it's posted by highlight numerous i haven't seen that full post in a while yeah we haven't pulled one of those clips in a minute. Let's see. This one's going to be long. I was talking to Joe recently, and I go, do you worry about that? He goes, I don't worry about anything. I was like, you have fuck you money, so that makes sense. Worry about what? Like this stuff?

We were talking about something, and he goes, I don't worry about anything. Why would you? Yeah, I was like, that's fair. That's fair. Do you think Brendan wants anything else? Do you think he wants to become bigger than he is, or do you, that's fair. That's fair. Do you think Brendan wants anything else? Do you think he wants to become bigger than he is? Or do you think he's satisfied? I think he does want to become bigger, right?

Because the clothing line and he's always talking about like thick boy studios. There's like four or five YouTubes with thick in them. There's all these different shows, the diaries and all this. He probably, I don't know what he thinks, but I think he thinks it can him. Yeah. There's all these different shows, the diaries and all this. He probably, I don't know what he thinks, but I think he thinks it can grow. Yeah. If you were him

and you're as dumb as he is and had the success he is, you'd probably be like, I can't believe what happened. Yeah. Why not? Why not again? I mean, yeah.

I feel like, I just think he doesn't, I feel like, just like the calm, relaxed nature of not really caring about where things go. Yeah. And then not really being able to see how often you talk about the same thing. All that's like, I feel like he's just satisfied. He's like, show up to work.

You know, there's no promotions. I'm already at the top. You know what I mean? He's like, got this fucking studio. I got the live fight companions people like that you know that's probably what made me so big is like the Joe Rogan fight companions thing he's just like one note now from now on forever well he does hassle people about you know oh there's not enough likes so you guys aren't engaging social media you know he's like you

can't you didn't get enough comments and all that stuff. So he at least cares that much about stuff that doesn't matter. So he cares about that shit. I blame fucking all the sponsors. If he was not getting sponsored by anyone, I feel like he would grow immediately. Yeah, maybe. I don't know. It's always a drag hearing about Helix mattresses.

Kratom. Kratom and Rogue Nicotine. Fucking Tiger Thick Whiskey. Yeah, fuck all that. Yeah, let's... Okay, back to sucking off toe here. mattresses and kratom and rogue nicotine. Fucking tiger thick whiskey. Yeah. Fuck all that. Yeah. Okay. Back to sucking off toe here.

Fucking shit. That's fair. That's when you know you've kind of arrived, when you don't worry about anything. Nor would you pay attention to it. I mean, also, he doesn't deal with the same issues we have. In hindsight, he saw the direction YouTube was going with freedom of speech. So he's like, oh, I'm out.

I'm going to go where I can say whatever I want. Yeah, cut to having fucking cussing in the first 15 seconds of your fucking YouTube video. There you go. With two big guests, too. It's like, you don't want to do that, you know? No. No one's there.

They don't have any good management, so no one tells them that. Or he doesn't listen. You should fucking hire, what's his name uh oh fuck what's that one oh minimum sky yeah minimum sky should be dude i heard highlight numerous name jesus christ we're like we're gonna stay here okay so um i always used to marvel at again i was about this recently, I used to always marvel at his ability to find the problem in the room. So Joe could look, we could be in a room, and Joe could go like this. I swear to God.

It was uncanny. He'd go, I don't like that guy. Or, why are you talking to that girl? Get away from that person. He would go like this. He didn't like them. And I'd be like, well, you've been around that. Oh, yeah.

He'd go, get away from me. Or he'd be like, I'm not talking to that guy. And you'd be like, what the fuck, dude? He's a nice guy. But guess what? He's always right. And I listen to this. He's always right. He's never wrong.

I don't think I'd say that about anyone. It's the looking away from Brian and looking at his watch. Oh, that too. He's not paying attention. Your own show, you don't care. Yeah. Do you think Joe Rogan listens to their podcast? I don't know.

Probably not. He's got a family and stuff to do. We barely listen, you know? Yeah. And how much of this is not talking shit about any men on earwaves where he's just like, you know, he's a cool guy, cool guy, cool guy. Right. Yeah, he's holding back. Yeah. Because he doesn't talk shit on earwaves where he's just like you know he's a cool guy cool guy cool guy right yeah he's holding back yeah because he doesn't talk shit on airwaves you're right interesting also this is a recent episode too so he's probably thinking all in his head is just mothership mothership mothership mothership you know i mean yeah he's like joe's great where am i

where's my mothership spot how about that joe well let's do you think they're gonna bring up the mothership yeah they have to they have to because they're going down the list of joe rogan's accomplishment has brian been on the mothership uh i don't think so okay yeah neither of them yeah let's see um i don't know who she is but she was saying when you are a child and you come from a chaotic background around adults that are unpredictable so an an abusive childhood, whatever. Children get really fucking good at reading a room and finding the person that is not safe. The danger, yeah, exactly. He went both.

He said, finding who's safe. He said, no, not safe. He didn't understand. Wait, wait, wait, I want to see that again. Really fucking good at reading a room and finding the person that is not the danger the safe the danger good good good exactly and exactly exactly exactly And I didn't grow up that way. And when you grow up that way, he's always been very cautious

and avoided trouble, avoided crazy people, women and men. No, he hasn't. He surrounded himself with them. One, two, Schultz, all of those people. Diddler.

He has surrounded himself with the craziest people in Hollywood. Yeah. No, but I think I know what he's- Red Band? Yeah. That's the most unastute observation I've ever seen. Unbeknownst to you.

Atrociously. Atrocious. Atrocious assessment of what's going on. But, you know, I think they're right to some sort of uh effect he's very successful he's very successful and also too he probably seen these people before the fame the fame will make anyone crazy dude there's only a certain amount of people that get famous and are not fucking crazy you know i don't know i mean just that whole thing where it's like you know he reads people well. Like he knows moral character. Clearly he does not. I like how shifty Brennan Shaw was during the whole clip too.

He's just like, yeah, you know. Until I get on the mothership, I don't know if I want to talk about this. B. Let's see. Superpower. It's a superpower. It's astonishing too. Because he can literally, he can literally hear. I remember we were talking we were getting our makeup done we were doing this silly movie and

a guy started talking and joe goes like this go joe goes what he goes like this he goes wait say that again and the guy said it again he goes man just like this he goes wow what a bullshit artist holy shit you're such a bullshit guys like wait bullshit like this and i was like this i was like i think we're gonna fight because you and i'm sure we're gonna fight because you and i will entertain it yeah oh really and the guy was like and he goes you're the biggest bullshit i know wow we need a little bit of more he was doing this he would that was it it's like uh you know brendan shop is capable of self-awareness only as far as he wants it to go you know what i mean he knows that he's like a fucking holly it to go you know what i mean he knows that

he's like a fucking hollywood snob you know yeah he's gonna entertain somebody that he doesn't give a fuck about right right yeah yeah he's not gonna be like saying the stuff that rogan is saying is what you're saying yeah i mean rogan you don't become the biggest podcaster just for no reason sure and people gravitate to him because they like how, I guess, quote unquote, real it is. Sure. You know what I mean? Yeah, maybe that's why. I have no idea. I mean, I like him as a host. I remember the first, like, the reason

why I started listening to Joe Rogan is before I started stand-up, all that stuff, it's like, I enjoyed it because they were, he just talked about shit he wanted to talk about. Yeah. Fucking conspiracies. That's all he talked about in the early days of like that. I don't know if the second or third studio he had for Rogan. Right.

Where Neil deGrasse Tyson would come on or whoever the fuck, you know, Richard Carlson, all these people, Sam Harris. Yeah. And they would just be like, what the fuck is the meaning of life? That's fucking dope. And the reason that I like Rogan is because he had Chabon. Let's see. I don't know.

But anyways, just to say that shop is capable of self-awareness only as far as he wants to be. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah, it sucks,

dude. I feel like he's a kid. It's like, or like, I guess you could say like my kid. I'm like, dude, come on,

shape up, dude. You're feeling fatherly. him he's so pathetic you're like i got and then i remember i never played catch with him and you know i didn't you know what i mean i didn't nurture him yeah i'm the one fucking up you know wanted to play catch but instead he started doing kratom yeah you fucked up b he was like wow this was before he was famous i mean he was just like this guy's a fucking bullshit artist. Yeah. And I knew that I, if we were going to hang out,

that that was done with that guy. Yeah. That guy can't come around anymore. He was right. He was right. Always is. Yeah. We need a little more of that in our tank.

We entertain all sorts of riffraff. I could use that. If I could go back in time, I would say, Hey, young Brian, listen to me right now. Don't work with Brendan Shaw. What do you think he would say to himself? Wait, you want me to go back a little bit? No, no. I'm just like, if, if Brian could go back in time and talk to himself, uh, he'd probably be like, Hey man, just delete all the numbers from your phone. Or like, just turn it down a notch. Don't do your first instinct. Think about it.

Yeah. Keep them busy. Go on Rogan more. Don't invest in flip-flops. Yeah, don't invest in flip-flops. No flip-flop shit. Yeah. Wear shoes.

Yeah. Don't do an AMA on reddit no amas yeah okay stop hanging out with open mic you wouldn't you wouldn't tell yourself not to work with brendan shop um yeah maybe yeah yeah maybe is that what you would do oh yeah if i was brian collin i'd be like listen you you the guy. Just be friends with him. Don't fucking work with him. But I love this shit so much. I don't know if I could do it.

I mean, but I'm saying if I'm him, when I say that I'm in Brian Callen shoes. Right, right, right. So like, as far as like focus on standup,

don't go into podcasting, you know, go on Joe Rogan's podcast as much as possible or these other people. Make your life stand up, cut out everyone else in your life. Don't interact with anyone but stand up. Yeah. For a while.

And your family. That's it. Keep an eye on Chris. You know what I mean? Yeah. Make sure you have like a, what's it called when you have like a thing, an alibi for the Chris thing.

Yes. You know, you didn't actually know him. If you're going to say. Yeah. If you're going to, in the future, you're going to say you never were on tour with Chris., if in the future, you're going to say you've never were on tour with Chris, don't have a bunch of videos of you on tour with Chris.

He's like writing it down. There'll be so much to say. I know. Cause like, there's only 10 seconds left in this clip. You know, there's be so much more shit than that. All right. Well,

let's see what he says to himself. Don't waste time. Don't every say no to everybody and keep everybody but your family and three people in your life small circle whoa that's pretty much exactly what i said that's wild okay interesting don't work with brandon chavez wow joe rogan joey diaz and theo van the three people you fucking need in your life what i would say is go back in time. Give me $90 for 90 minutes in the belly room.

Suck my dick. Suck my dick, Joe Rogan. Cock suckers. It's Monday morning. We're going to be a big day today. It's Tuesday. You got a big cock in your hand. He's just like randomly.

You give a start of Lee. Yeah, you smoke the bong. You put your fucking hand in your dick and you fucking start your day. You go to school with mercy. You give a start of Lee. Yeah. You smoke the bomb, you put your fucking hand in your dick and you fucking have the start of your day. You go to school with mercy, you drop her off at school, you smoke a big blunt

on the way home. Yeah. Okay. Brian Callen, if you go back in time, don't work at Brendan's shop. He's a great guy, but you know,

he's not very funny. Brian Callen, you go back in time, you know what you do? You never, you never talk to Brendan, anyone named Brendan. You know,

you see someone named Brendan, you walk the other way. All right. That's what you do. Then you see someone named Brandon, you walk the other way. All right. That's what you do. Then you suck dick for $90 and then the belly room. You never tour with Chris D'Elia. Don't get me wrong.

He's a great guy. Never met him. You never met Chris D'Elia. You walk away from anybody who's Italian ever again. Yeah. All right. Those are all our clips, right? Yeah.

That's a fucking five minutes in the belly room for you. Thank you for tuning in. See you next week. Bye.