10 Minutes of Schaub - Brendan Schaub is FIGHTING WITH CHIN! | 10 Minutes of Schaub #195

Episode Date: October 16, 2026

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All right, we're here. We're back at 10 minutes of shop. I got my Bruce Spring Spring Spring T-shirt on. I'm ready to go, dude. That is not why they're here, though. Oh my God. Why are they here? They're here to watch the show I just said. Ten minutes of shop. Start the timer. Play the chink lip. Cooney's a little drunk today. I have been drinking. It's completely sober as usual. I wish I was drunk. But I'm not. Isn't that a show, a podcast? I wish I was drunk. Yeah. probably. We might be drunk as a show. Oh, we might be drunk. Yeah. You fucking drunk. We might be drunk. This one's posted by Montanaret centrist. Montanerrit. I think so.

Is that like a bad word? I don't know what it means. They're making me say it. You can't get in trouble if you don't know what it means. Okay. It's called the most brutally honest thing anyone's ever said anyone's ever said to Brian. Have any video of this? I do. I like to watch the animals. adrenaline. I get it spiked. And then I slay the animal at peak. At peak. Stop. Imagine being sad because your career sucks, but you still go on these animal fantasies? Yeah. Yeah. No, it's like, this is why your career sucks, dude. You're dedicated to this awful bit.

Look at your face. Oh, Bubba. He's 50 years old up for me. I'm driving my son to face. He's like 50. years old and he's still going like, I like animals, you know, I don't just watch them. I fucking, I own them. What are you doing? Stop it. Yeah. I mean, we're not on a good trajectory. You could say that about me. He's 35 years old saying bono alert. We are saying that because he said it. Oh, you're right. You're right. You're not doing it on your own. You're doing it ironically, Gerardo. Oh, my bad, my bad. Chill, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill, come on. That makes sense. Chase.

Why do you want the adrenaline in the body? You'd have to feel what it's like when you take that meat in. It gets saturated with red blood cells. The meat is kind of a fudge-like consistency. There's almost no fat. I take it in. Sometimes I carry with me a small jalapeno pepper. Why small?

A small bottle of extra virgin olive oil, preferably from grease. Okay. I am seeing though You know There are guys that have a voice That they do all the time Like Gaffigan He doesn't do it as much

But Gaffigan has that funny voice Yeah It's still funny Yeah And unfortunately for Brian He has a voice That's never once ever been funny Yeah

And he is committed to it Well yeah But it sucks I recognize that sucks for him Do you have the one thing But your thing sucks whereas Gaffigan has a one thing, he doesn't even need to do it.

He's actually very funny. Yeah. But on top of that, he can always do that thing that we all enjoy. Cooney, I see you, I hear you, I feel you. Yeah. Don't kill me. Okay.

But hear me out. Yeah. And don't disagree right away. But Brian Callan did have a voice. And it was funny, right? Hear me out. Let me finish. Right?

Mm-hmm. But it's a very unfortunate. when your voice is that of a rapist and you happen to have raped women. And then that's what you do now. He's like, oh, that's my voice. And then now after 2020, everyone sees you for what you are. Same thing with kind of like the Delia thing. He's like that silly. Making fun of a drunk girls. You know what? And then he ends up being like into young girls. You know what I mean? It's like there were signs the whole time for both of them. I agree with what you're saying. And it's a good observation. Thank you.

So, like, the thing that they're doing is much, I would argue that it's much worse now because of the connection. Yes. So we're both on the same side here, too. This is really bad. And it is kind of, in a dark way, it is very funny to be like, you have a thing that would be associated with a criminal and it's your bit. And then you are a criminal, too. Your joke is that you like sound like, you know, you do bad things. And then, oh, wait, you do bad things.

And now your bit is ruined because, you know, it's like, well, I was laughing when I thought you were kidding. Because you're a comedian. I thought you were joking. You are doing these things. You are targeting drunk women. Which is just, yeah, it's bad and shouldn't do that. Allegedly. Yeah, allegedly. Yeah. You made that really definitive view. You are.

Alleged. No, I'm glad you said, but allegedly, you know. I mean, yeah, they had enough to make a whole YouTube documentary about you. Fire. Yeah, or a newspaper article. Savage. You know? Yeah.

Facts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, all right. Or Jerusalem. Do you mind him in water, please? Oh, yeah. Thanks, brother. I might grab a water myself.

This is the best thing to do. Keep yourself busy while Brian's talking. Yeah, you need to hydrate. It's so funny. Like, yeah, well, Brian's talking, I might as well drink water. Yeah. But I leave it. Being trapped in the desert.

I leave the animal for the, um, Elements or for other animals. How was your day to do? I feel like... That's pretty good. He's not even trying. That's for another part of it. It's fucking idiot.

It's like he does... He's gone into like pilot mode, like autopilot, you know? Pilot mode. Pilot mode is... That's great. I love pilot mode. He's just...

What was the other thing I said? He's a fool of shit. He's a full of shit. He's a full of shit in pilot mode, dude. He's not really trying either. Yeah. Whatever the voice you do, you still gotta put in some effort. Effort.

I put in more effort than he does. Come on, Brian. I saw Bruce Springsteen like a month ago now. That fucking guy's like 80 years old. He's jumping. He's going in the middle of the crowd. Doing like 30 songs. The whole band and shit, it's Bruce Springsteen.

You told me for five minutes he was on stage going bean cheese, bean cheese, bean cheese, bean cheese. Yeah, he's throwing some Gringo Poppy stuff. He's a performer. He should be ashamed of himself, this Brian Callahan person in comparison to him, someone like that. Yeah. Disgusting. I feel like what you're telling me right now is something that I've heard you say before. Not necessarily in that order.

But it does seem like, pardon me for going right into serious talk. But it does seem that you're selling something that you've been selling for a while. And I'm curious if you're still selling it because people are buying or because you're stuck with this thing and you have nothing to do with it. Oh, man. Geez. I don't want to do an interview with Rick Glassman now. Look at how much happy he was like a minute ago, talking about Hawks or whatever he was saying.

I thought he's going to say you're selling something that like no one like wants or you're stuck. But he essentially said that. Yeah. Dude, at Glassman, that's a funny guy. Different. That's nothing to do with it. Because Brian, how old do you know? So I'm, I'm, you mean,

Like in biological terms or... Okay. What do you mean? So show business, what do I play? I play, I can play anywhere from 30 to 40s. Come on, dude. Is he doing that to... That almost seems that he's playing into the bit there.

That's kind of funny. I'm going to give that to him. If that's self-awareness, that's kind of funny. It is also sad still. It is very sad. It is still sad. It's also telling that he probably has this loaded... because everyone always asks him to stop.

Oh, yeah. What if, because, so he says, is he saying 30s to be funny, or is he saying it because he really doesn't want to say what it really is? Oh, like his real age? Yeah, well, or what even he can play. Oh, okay. Because like either one is kind of sad.

Oh, like, actually, if he can't say his real age, what he plays, that's really sad. But when he says 30s, is he playing into like, all right, now you make fun of me? then I that you know that's kind of funny it's funny because in his brain's algorithm he's like they always stump me when they ask me how old I am I got to think of something to say you know there's no right answer for Brian whatever he says is going to be disgusting and sad he's not like I said he's medically unfunny

um and then also what was the thing we said right before it started something about like he there comes a point where someone's so unfunny that oh it's it's like a criminal. Yeah, it's like it rises to the level of criminality with Brian Callen. Yeah. Like he should be stopped. And that's what Glassman sort of is trying to do there. He's reasoning with them a little bit.

It might not even be mean. It might just be like honest. Like this is how you should approach. You know how people are assertive? Yeah. Sometimes like you try some bullshit and someone surprises you. They go, hey, you can't do that. And you're like, whoa.

And then you realize you shouldn't do that. That person is assertive. and it's good that they did that. So you're saying that Brian should be put on joke parole? Like he should have like an ankle monitor detecting the jokes he tells. That's hilarious. Yeah, yeah. Dude, anytime he tries to tell a joke, the ankle monitor goes off and a parole officer shows up and he goes, what joke to do?

You're coming with us, dude. What did you try and say? Well, what did you? And then Brian says a joke and the parole officer goes, you know you can't do that. We told you that. You got to stop doing that stupid-ass voice and no one laughs at. Do you see me laughing? You're going to jail.

Yeah. I told you to stop telling horrible jokes and you're still doing that voice. And now because of that, you won't be able to see your kids. Think about that in jail, you bastard. I wonder if parole officer can call you a bastard. All right. Let's see. This next one's posted by Appropriate Duty 930.

It's called Bapa and Toe get caught lying about gas prices in L.A. Hey, so just the other day, Meathead podcaster, Joe Rogan posted this episode with former MMA fighter Brendan Schaubb on May 13th, and he had this to say about gas prices in Los Angeles. You know what, man? He's not wrong, though, with the way gas prices are. I talked to Tim Dillon today. I was on the phone with him when I was coming to studio. He told me that gas is $7.90 a gallon in L.A. right now.

And that's down from what it was a month ago. I was out there a month ago. That's just not. That's so funny, dude. He's fucking hilarious. It was $10. Why would you say anything? Just let Joe cook.

Why does he have the butt in and say that they were... That's actually not true. It was hired. He's just... Whereas Brian is medically unfunny. Shav is medically stupid. You know, like whatever the dumbest possible thing to say is. Bobby Lee is one of my closest friends.

He'll say it. The 790, that... I've seen it get to 7 at least. So I'm like, that seems high, but... That's like, all right. But then when he goes, I was out there a month ago and it's higher. It wasn't higher a month ago. It's gone up, you stupid jackal.

That doesn't even make common sense. Like, what are you doing? Why would you lie and lie in a way that makes absolutely no sense? It's gone. It's gone down? Is that what you're saying? You buffoon? He just said it was high.

He's a fucking idiot, dude. He's just let Joe cook. I'm exhausted and I realize that that doesn't make sense. It's like he wants to be wrong. sometimes. His brain is fucked up from CTE, I think. But yeah, also... It's probably adrenaline. He's like, I feel good when I'm wrong. He doesn't care, dude. It's dollars and 90 cents a gallon in L.A. right now. And that's down from what it was a

month. I was out there a month shoot commercial and it was up to 8.40 something. So yeah, according to these two guys who both left California for Austin, Texas, about six years ago, gas in California is either $7.90 a gallon today or it was $8.40 a gallon last month. So let's go ahead and dig into this, shall we? So yeah, as someone who currently actually lives inside Los Angeles, I prefer to use the app Gas Buddy to find the lowest gas prices because it pulls prices from both users who input it and from station owners.

And as you can see here in Los Angeles, there are prices as low as $539 a gallon. You'll see some $5.49 over here, some $5.55 here. But nowhere is it above $6? Is it above $7? And it certainly isn't above $8. Why is Wendy's right there? Wendy's is selling gas?

Who knows, dude? $1. Well, that takes care of Joe Rogan's claim that gas is currently $7.90 a gallon. But how about Brendan Schaubb's claim that a month ago, gas was $8.40 a gallon? Well, let's take a look at that, too. And for that, let's take a look at AAA's average gas prices for California, which it says today is $6.14. But if we use the Wayback Machine to see it from April 16th, you can see that it was actually $5.86. sense. It was cheaper a month ago.

But again, blatantly, like, obviously it was cheaper a month ago. This is wasting two minutes of my time. This guy's almost, like, I honestly feel stupid that I didn't realize right away, that doesn't make sense. Obviously, it's not gone down. The point is it went up, you stupid

fuck. There is like one or two gas stations that have, there, it could be like the most peaceful times. It'll be $9 a gallon. Like, you know Alvara Street down in Los Angeles? Anyways, you know I believe you. Right.

Next to Union Station, there's a gas station there that's a Chevron. It's probably at $10 now. But that's like the one gas station that's super expensive. There definitely are that are more expensive than others. I'm not sure if I completely trust that map. Maybe it's legit. Maybe it's not. But I think I saw it get to seven.

They're like, why are they talking about this? This is like when Brian and them talk about directions to the house. We did it. He came full circle again. That's social media. This isn't real. I thought you pushed another one. about something on the word of a so-called friend is nothing new for Joe Rogan as it was just under four years ago that Joe Rogan made the claim that his friend's wife worked at a school where they had litter boxes for kids that identified his cats and then another guest called that out as an urban myth and of course Joe Rogan quickly backtrack so when you run across mega trolls online making up lies about California and Los Angeles realize that this is where they're getting their information from shame on you guys

mega trolls, dude. Wow, that's great. Shout out to them. They're my goats. Pretty funny. Yeah. All right. So I think this has to do with the whole Theo Vaughn thing. Posted by GTS, GTS-GTS-777. Ending to J.R.E. 2501.

Apologizing publicly to Theo Vaughn for gaslighting him a couple of pods ago. By the way, this pod started with Rogan pushing hard and normalizing mass surveillance. I'm sure this will keep Theo von. It is weird. He had that one millionaire on. Oh, Apologia Comedia, I think, did it. Or podcast cringe did a video on it. Oh, yeah?

Yeah. Who was the, do you remember the millionaire was? Mark Andreessen. Oh, that guy, the cone head guy. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, and he hates that, right? He hates when people call him cone heads.

Does he? Yeah. I can't imagine looking like that and being mad about it. Yeah. Right? I mean, if you really look like something, wouldn't you just be like, yeah? Yeah.

Yeah. If you're a man always wear a hat or something like that. I don't know. Try to hide it because it's out there, dude. It looks like a cone. He looks like a human cone hit. You can afford hair. Yeah, it's true. He could. You're a billionaire. Yeah, why doesn't he do that if he's so bent out of shape? If he gets hair, it still looks like a cone head somehow. Bert and Ernie. Never bring it up publicly again.

You know how it happens, though? I'm sorry, I'll go back. You know how it happens is that he will probably look in the mirror for too long because you know you're not supposed to look in the mirror for too long. You can get lost into an alternate reality type thing. It's true. Look it up. Yeah. He probably looked in the mirror too long and liked what he saw.

And so whenever somebody was like, you're fucking cone head. He's like, I thought I was beautiful. He likes it. He's like, and con head is sexy. He should own it, dude. Wivals and chills. He's like, it doesn't matter how much money I have. Women don't want to fuck a cone head.

They keep asking me to stick my head in their fuss. Never bring it up public. again, but I think it is important to let people know that aspect of it. So I'm going to call him and clear this with him and make sure he's cool with me saying this, but I'm pretty sure he's going to be. And that's it. So I'm a human and I'm flawed like all of us and I fuck up and it's probably not the last time. It's definitely not. I'm going to fuck up again. But my intention is never to hurt anybody ever. And that's why, I mean, I very rarely, if, ever even get upset at anyone other than like corrupt politicians.

But I do my best to just try to be a good person, spread positivity, and grow and learn. And hopefully you're doing the same. So that's it. Sorry. Bye. I like picturing the drummer being in the background. This is important, guys. This is the J.R. Re-themed song.

I, um, man. with Joe Rogan doing all that Apologize what I what sticks out to me Is you know he says that like I'm sorry hey I'm sorry My intention is the blah blah blah And he's like I really don't get even get mad Yeah Only at politicians but we've seen to get mad at so many people

Yeah he got mad at the monkey lady Remember the lady that was like actually they're that kind of monkey doesn't exist Yeah you stupid bitch Fuck you Your fucking husband's cheating on you, you stupid kind of. So I wonder if we'll ever get to like that kind of, I wonder if I do that. I'm sure I'm capable of being like, listen, I didn't, you know, I don't normally do these things and blah, blah, blah, but I do them all the time. Yeah.

I mean, maybe it's human. I don't know. But he's obviously, he's online so much. He sees what's going on. How do you not know that you do do do that? Yeah. Well, do, do, do, do. Spicy.

But, you know, the Occam's razor, right? like the... Remind me. Occam's Razor is like the most simplest explanation is probably what's true. Oh yes. You know what I mean? Is that?

Okay. Yeah, that's Hawkins Razors. I think so. It's Markhams Law, dude. It's Arctom's Asylum. Murphy's Law. It's actually the Pythagorean theory. I can school you on that.

Sorry. Sorry, I forgot. But like Occam's Razor, it's kind of weird that he's, I don't know if it's gas lighting or what it is. It is him saying like, I never get mad kind of thing, you know? It's not true, but people are saying that, do you know the whole narrative around this Theo Von thing?

That he's like, like, there's something about Israel and then like he's against SSRIs or something. And because, oh, yeah, because Theo Vonn was criticizing Israel. So Joe Rogan wants him to stop doing that or something like that. So, well, the narrative, meaning the one that's being painted online, not by the people involved. but by the investigative journalists that are like Augustino Zingas, people like this, you know what I mean? They're saying that Joe Rogan is basically setting him up to be killed. Oh, that's right. I forgot.

That's super important. Yeah, yeah, to be gotten rid of. Yeah. Schrodinger's peacock. God damn it. Sorry. Schrodinger's box. You open the boxes.

You're alive or dead. There you go. Schrodinger's got a nice box, dude. I wouldn't mind dying in that bad boy. Is it called Bax? Or it's Shringer's cat, that's what it is. If I were going to do that to myself, I use a Rube Goldberg machine.

What is that? That's like a thing. That's the only one I remember what it is. It's a thing that it's like way too complicated to do something. Like you didn't, it was not necessary. So it has all these bells and whistles. A Rube Goldberg machine is anything Brennan Schaubb is involved. Any of his shows, any of his truck stuff,

they're all, that's all Rube Gold. I could be wrong about that, too. I don't care. care. Spicy. But yeah, I think it's weird. It's just like, it's just a set. I, I, I, anyways, back to the Occam's Razor thing. He's like, that's kind of like creepily like a pretty simple explanation, right? Yeah. Very strange. He's, he's obviously in lieu with all these other people. And I forget who it was. I'm watching way too many of these American Redax. Sure. Too lazy to try. Everyone relates to that. Podcast cringe. Everyone at home, we're all watching.

You're probably watching that while watching this. Yeah. Hopefully you're watching this right after, before or during, if you can multitask. I'm okay with both. Yeah. And leave in the comments below, who's your favorite? We need more, yeah.

It's got to be more of us, dude, not less. Fried Plantain is another one, dude. Man, it's crazy how many there are. That's good. There's a lot of these channels. I mean, Rogan talks about it with his guess. He's very angry, but he's not mad at all, as usual. But yeah, he's trying to set up Theo for some French.

what is it called? Candice Owens type of events. Hopefully not, but yeah, Occam's Razor. Goodbye, Theo. You had a good life. Anyways, you guys don't know what you're here for.

You're here for the freaking podcast. Sorry for Cussin. This is post by... Oh my God, dude. I hate to be the one to tell you guys this, but apparently Thomas Massey, Theo Vaughn, and Greta Thunberg did a murder S word. It was done by Hamas.

So, all right, but let's keep walking with the show. Sorry. Why Greta? Is that your home girl? She got killed by Hamas, too. Sorry about that guys. This one's posted by You'll Do Nothing. Trouble and Pair of Dice.

Oh, this one's great. I saw this already. Oh, I think I did see this, yeah. Oh, Render. I'm going to say under... The lights go out again. It's three on fire, right? Or five round five.

I'm going to say under a 3.5. Oh, Jesus, dude. Yeah. I mean, yeah, I'd probably take that bet. Meaning, I would, I agree. with you. Yeah. Should be under three and a half. Yeah, I don't think it goes. I bet you the lines one and a half. Wish we had a computer looked at up. What do you think I'm doing, dog? Let's do it, bud. Let's fucking do it. So, moving from here to here is just too long for you.

Let's do it. It's so funny. Damn, dude. That is fucking, I know I just press this. Spicy. Wow. Computer looked at up. What do you? I mean, it's just so funny that, you know, like, thank God for Cooney. I'm so grateful for Cooney. If I say, like, keep talking, I'm looking something up. You know, you're just like, you get, you just keep going. Oh, yeah. Every time while I'm looking something up, I'm impressed. I'm like, dude, he just knows he's going to say something right now.

Thank you. I appreciate that. Look, yeah, that's great to hear, dude. Dicey, dicey. We'll see how long that lasts. But it's so funny that Brandon Schaub can't even just, if anything, he just goes until he doesn't. You know what I mean? He goes when he's not supposed to.

And then when he need him to go, he's, you know, not anywhere to be seen. Yeah. Chin's obviously going to pull it up. He's listening to the podcast. has. If not, you know, ideation is somewhere else, but, you know, he's, he's there with you, dude. But there's some trouble in pair of dice, dude. Yeah, Chin's probably fed up. I thought this was a different clip. I actually haven't seen this one. So we'll see how my brain works. Yeah. I don't think it goes. I bet you the lines one and a half.

Wish we had a computer looked at out. What do you think I'm doing, dog? Let's do it, bud. Let's fucking do it, though. There's a lot going on there in that little split second, dude. very funny if you see this little fucking Jammuk's little head movement there wish we had a computer looked at up what do you think I'm doing they're piling on chin dude yeah why doesn't he's yeah he does the thing

why don't you talk man yeah you like you know you're the it's even worse for him he's sitting next to chin he knows what he's doing yeah what do you think chin is doing it's hard to talk when you fail at standup in New York City it's like if you can make it there you can make it anywhere type of thing you know I mean

so I guess I feel for him. I empathize at least. You have to go to Austin to just tell trans jokes and hopefully do well, dude. Pray to God, you make it on Rogan. It is funny. Like, if you move to Austin for to be like an edge lord, it's pretty funny. I'd say a ridiculous thing to do, really. But yeah, I mean, I'm going to do it soon. So watch, watch for that. This is Cooney looking for places in Austin to move to. Yeah, checking Zillow listings, looking for clues that say, like, Like the Zillow apartment I'm looking for is open to racism. I bet you the lines one and a half.

Wish we had a computer looked at up. What do you think I'm doing, dog? Let's do it, bud. Let's fucking do it, dog. The movie from here to here is just too long for you. Let's do it. Let's see what the overhaul. Because you know he's a massive favor.

Favored. He's a massive favor. Shob tries at the end there to kind of keep talking. Well, could give him some time. so he learned a little bit, but he's... And even him joking, like, I think he was joking, like, come on, do it. Like, he's trying to be like,

I noticed that I fucked up. But, you know, he's just, he's shop, he's running a job, dude. What are you doing, bro? Well, what do you and Chob have in common? And be careful how you fucking answer this, dude? Athletic prowess. Thank you.

I appreciate that. No, but we're both Latino. Oh, that's true. Short stops. Indeed, we're both spicy. You know what I mean? I've been like this before, dude, where you just too much and you just won't stop, you know? So imagine all the shit he was saying to cause chin to react in that way, you know?

Yeah, there's trouble. Yeah, behind the scenes you're saying. Yeah, I always forget that they do stuff. God knows what he has him doing beforehand. He's like, hey, Chin, before I get there, can you drive my kids to baseball? Yeah, yeah, just do show the kids. Like, yeah, show for my kids around and then like, I get this thing going on with my truck. Can you see if you can figure it out?

Like, he wants him to work on his truck. Chin's like, I don't know how to do truck stuff. Yeah, well, there's like AI now, right? AI, AI the truck. We pay for Claude. Yeah. And you see, if anyone disagrees with him online, he threatens to rip their neck off. And you're literally the one case where we know he'll do it, you know?

Oh, yeah, he's eventually going to kill him. Yeah, he's going to kill somebody. He's definitely, Chin's gone. I like that. Like, so Brennan gets like so mad at Claude, right? Because Claude's like, Brendan, that doesn't make any sense. Oh, you can't actually do that. But he's like, this, fuck, AI sucks.

Doesn't even work right. I fucking ask you a question and says I'm wrong. I told the AI what's up today. I bet you I will. I won't wear a mask at Starbucks. You're saying that's a lot. The chat, GVT, and Gemini. Let's do it.

Let's see what the overrun. Because you know he's a massive favor. It's just that they're, they're setting out on a tough expedition. Expedition. Explodition. Explodition. That's just ridiculous. I'm not even going to...

Brendan Chopped just threatened to rip my neck off. How should I respond to him? He's very angry right now. That sounds really intense. I think the best thing is to stay calm, keep a safe distance, and don't engage with any more threats. If you feel like it's escalating

or you feel in danger, definitely get help. Contact someone you trust or law enforcement. Stay safe, okay? Ask him, what if he refuses to put on a mask? If he refuses to back down, It's even more important. All right.

We get it. Yeah. Okay. Fuck you. Bye. Stupid. Why am I saying the C word this episode, dude? Come down, bro.

What the hell's the matter with me? I am light as shit Dallas. Yeah. That's what it is. I think the first time YouTube's not going to pick up on it though. Oh, wow. Look at that. Finally, what happens next?

I feel like we missed a couple. We might have. I feel like it's been four weeks since we've seen one. Well, it takes six months. True. What happens next, part 31 posted by Icarus Liv. I've been seeing Icarus lives in the chat, dude. Shout out to that guy.

Oh, wow, really? That's awesome. Good to see you. What happens next? I am white as shit, Dallas. Yeah. I need a fucking... What happens next?

What's a weed? You guys in Portland on tour. I'm walking down the street and, uh, I took in the hotel. Oh. He was a fan. He was a fan. Yeah. Hotel people love shop.

Yeah. All they do is listen to a podcast. Mm-hmm. And watch a UFC phone. And as I'm walking down street, the guy was, oh, shop, come here. And the guy checking me with a fan.

He goes, hey, man, I went, like, walk around the city this weekend. I'm like, what? I have shows, man. He goes, I know. I heard Big Brown is in town.

It's the proud boy. Oh, proud boy in Antifa. I've heard this one. He's setting it up, yeah. It's the proud boy and, and the, what's the, the Antifa rally? He's like, he gets pretty violent, man.

I'd stay. It gets pretty violent. Like it's an annual thing. Yeah, every year the Proud Boys and Atifa come to Portland. That's a good point. That doesn't make any sense. Did it happen last year?

It's the proud boy and Antifa rally. Like they do it together. Or this guy's a soothsayer. He's like, I've seen the future. It's going to get violent. That would be so, dude. Brendan Schaub would meet like some Nostradamus figure and have no idea.

Like he meets a great person. And shop's like, This guy's like fucking trying to tell me some shit about that I need to do like or to prevent the end of the world. And shot punched him in the face because he's gay. And that's how the world ends. That's social media. This isn't real. You got to hope that it's not up to shop to save the world if someone travels back through time.

His shop's going to call him gay and beat him up. What? He hits him with the what first. What? You're trying to fuck my wife, dude. Hello. And I'm like, oh, okay. And he ain't lying.

I was in the heart of it and they're... You joined the rally. You joined the rally. Why? What? There's sirens everywhere. There's SWAT teams and they're going down and I was just like, nah, fuck, I don't see what this is about.

So I walked out and it's Antifa and Proud Boys. And they're, the only common thing they agreed on there. They agreed on his 24 is better than 12. Everyone's a fan of Papa. I, dude, I want to believe that Antifa people in the Antifa crowd were fans of Brennan shop. I mean, it's hard to believe that even the proud boys had any fans of shop. But Antifa, why? Proud boy, this makes sense. Because they're, they're grifters or whatever the fuck. The reason why Antifa doesn't make sense is because I feel like they're more underground. Like,

you don't get cell service down there. You're not going to catch Spotify, UFC breakdowns down there. You know what I mean? Yeah, they don't, they don't pay attention to MMA because it's, they would have to get the subscription. Also, proud boys seem more like, uh, they make fun of everything. because they just hate everyone, racist jokes type, stuff like this. Antifa takes things real seriously. Like, you got to walk on eggshells around Antifa because you can't say the wrong thing, you know? Yeah, who knows, man?

I mean, it's obviously not true. Go to an Antifa rally and be like, that woman has a mustache. Good luck walking out of there, dude. Is it because that's like Shab's humor? Yeah, I'm just making jokes myself right now. Jesus Christ. The only common thing they agreed on their fans of mine,

like, shop, think boy, what's up? So I have a picture of me like this, Antifa's on the left, probably's on the right, and there's SWAT team behind me. I'm like, what's up? The Diaz brother shut up, Tito. Who do you think? Diaz brothers, I think.

I think Tito. Oh, wow. Diaz brothers don't go to Portland, dude. Yeah, I mean, who, either one. Tito's too busy with his printing business. Oh, yeah, you're right. He's in Huntington Beach. But I'm walking, I see Tito.

Oh, no. And I'm like, who are? What are you doing here? And he's like, what? I was like, oh, you should come a comedy show. He's, what, what time is it at? I'm like, did you come in from my comedy show? He was, I did.

I did. Leave a ticket under my name, dude. I'm like, how many you need? He's like, just one. I was like, okay, well, see you tonight. Never showed up. And then that's months later. He was there for the rally.

Oh, he was there for the rally. Wow, yeah, that sounds like Tito Ortiz. Because he was playing along with your. bit. Yeah, yeah. Both could be true. Like, it sounds like him because one, Tito Ortiz was the mayor of Huntington Beach and he was like all, you know, kind of conservative or whatever. And then the other is like, he would be totally confused. And then if somebody were like, what are you here for? And he would be like, yeah, yeah, your show, yeah. Yeah. How many, one ticket. Like, if you just asked Tito Ortiz a question, he's going to go along with it. Just like with the printer thing. He thought for a second, I can. Vince Tito Ortiz that he worked for a printing company. So I wouldn't, it doesn't really surprise me.

The man has a lot of CTE, just like Brennan. His business is open on Sunday, but it's also closed on Sunday. And it's open on Monday through Friday, but also half the day, Monday through Wednesday, and then Tuesday through Thursday,

it's closed. Look, how to control ground squirrels? That guy right there, he's that. What animals have you, but this might, we might have to add this out,

but also, if you think about a squirrel, those big bushy tails, kind of like a peacock. Squirrels are just like... Bushy tails kind of like a peacock. He's talking about squirrels, though. It is kind of like the first time you hear Snoop Dog talk about animals. You're like, oh, I need more of this.

You know? Yeah, definitely. Squirrels are just like transgender rats. Just like... You have to add that out, chance. Do you... I don't know. Do we have to edit that out?

No, I don't think so. I think it's a beautiful set of it. It's a fantastic. What do you think about that? Are you laughing? No. Oh, okay. Not only like ironically.

Yeah, I'm not going to lie, dude, to the audience at home. There's a lot of times after this show where I'm finally like, finally I can laugh. I don't want people seeing me laugh, but I'm like, whew, transgendered. Or ass, dude. Bushy-tailed peacocks. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Call it all spoken.

I will be there this Thursday, Friday, Saturday Spokane comedy club. Best believe you better get there. I watch this drive. It's golf ball right into a tree, straight into a truck. I hope it's truck, dude. I pray to God it's truck, dude. I watch this truck. It's true.

Okay, this is called the golf course air horn. When people tee off, when they're coming down with their swing, we're going to blow these air horns. Gotta get there. I watch this drive. He had the worst promos ever for her shit. I love it. The worst ideas.

Yeah. Just like basic, dumb meathead ideas. Those are the days, a special time. I call those days checking the boxes. Oh, yeah. He's like, fuck it.

I'm already golfing. Let me just check the box. I got to do a promo right now. I suck ass at golf. You know, whatever. Watch this. drive. It wouldn't be funny if he made a series of him not succeeding at stuff to have promos. He's like, now watch me dunk. And he falls on his ass. Now watch me drive this car safely.

He flips it. I'm a brakes guy. I'm really into brakes. Now watch me raise my kids correctly. And he just shows his daily life. All right. This one's posted by different report one, two, three. I was telling Mario Yaki Sami, do not stop the fight. He's hitting me in the back of the head. I'm fine. when Travis knocked him, Brendan Chob out at the end of the first round

I didn't think you can get any more gratified. Ouch. Wow. That's mean. Shout out to Ronda Rousy. What's her name?

It's Gino, bitch. Rhonda Rousy. Oh, thank you. I forget. More like Rondo spicy. Yeah. Ronda. Spicy.

All righty. So this one's posted by Psychological Dog 992. The Man Dragon is born. Uh-oh. You know, you never know what narratives we're going to start painting until they happen, dude?

Yeah. I do not like this guy. Oh, okay. All right. I watch him. He's got big muscles, but guess what? I have a short lifespan, Eddie. I don't care about your muscles.

Yeah. End my life. See what happens. You know what I mean? He's just as in danger as chin as his life. Yeah. I think they could both be killed by Shab. Yeah.

Brian's probably safe. It's weird because, you know, that Venn diagram of like no muscles and big muscles, but they're both, you know, adjacent. Well, look. Dude, do you think muscles are going to save you from one of the best fighters of all time? Oh, dude, dude, I don't want that. He's on thin ice.

Yeah. If he steps out of line. Let's see here. Like, younger kids hate Ryan Reynolds now for that reason. Holy shit. These are louder than the other bliss. Do you want to talk about the game as this thing goes on? So an idea for a game we could try.

So I saw him on TikTok. He goes, pick your best fighter where it's fighter IQ. wrestling, Jiu-situ, striking. Dude, I love that shit, dude.

I love, like, the random artistic. I feel like this artistic stuff that you see on this, this, subreddit. Man, I'm gone.

See? Yep. Oh, okay. No, but I mean, it's just so funny. Yeah. It's good. Good work.

Art speaks a lot than words. Hopefully psychological dog 992 is here to stay, dude. I need more of this, you know? Yeah, yeah, that was good. It's kind of like Red Dragon or something. Can you make something of Christa Lee eating shrimp scampy?

Like with, oh, like that? Oh, I was asking him, yeah, but yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Because remember he would do that every time. That was like his calling card for his victims. Yeah, shrimp scampy is born. There he went there, make it. Make it.

Make it naked. Speaking of naked, we have a Burke Chrysher post here. Posted by Special Mushroom 285. Rogan could open 100s or Robin could open hundreds of comedy clubs. I got it, dude, around the world and pay comics a great wage, but it'll never make up for indelible stain he left on comedy after convincing these two re-dex to give up their day job and pursue stand-up comedy slash podcasting. Hmm. Yeah, that's pretty honest, but it's like a lot of people say that. I agree, and it's not said enough. I know a lot of people say it, but keep saying it.

Louder. And include more people. Tony Hinchcliff as well, you know, the whole crew. I agree. Let's see. This one says, Fudge Runyon posted this one.

Uncle Ted still figuring out or still figuring Uncle Scientist out. So yeah, Theo Von, we talked a bit about this already here. I forgot I liked the other one too. This is posted by Kabeep Time.

Coach Bapa and Toe giving advice to baseball dads about their kids but fails to see the self-aware irony. Ooh, and I like ones that rhyme, dude. My son's baseball and football teams, the crazy parents I deal with.

Buddy, dude. And I try to talk to the dads, because most of them respect me, so I'll go, can I give you some advice? You got to back off, dude. But they can't. They can't. They can't. You'd have to change who they are. And I tell them, I'm like, I'm trying to help you out here

you love baseball whatever you love football your son has told me he wants to quit now the reason he wants to quit is because you've made it not fun he used to love this game when I first got here nothing he loved more than football now he wants to quit because you've made it a job for him you've fucked up dude and who's it going to affect

A it's going to suck for him because he likes football you're not going to be able to watch a kid play football dude did you decide to make it not fun you're going to fuck up your relationship with your kid. Facts. I don't force my kids doing it other than they have to go to school.

My man said that. I don't force my kids in doing anything they don't want to do. If they're not interested in it, you don't have to do it. But find something you are interested in. That's my thing. Whatever you're into, let's ride. I don't get fuck what it. It's just so happens. It's baseball. Football. Cool. Let's ride, man.

Yeah, but you have a great personality for that and that you're very encouraging your kids, but you're not, you're not, it's not you, it's not you thinking that like your self-worth is not tied up to your kid's performance. You just want your kids to have fun.

Yep. The problem is with some people, their kid is almost like they're racehorse or something. You know what I mean? Like it's like they're, it's at... This is so funny, dude.

Yeah? Yeah, yeah. Why? Because all the times Chavez complained about his kid not doing well. Oh, yeah. It kind of sounds like it's his racehorse. Yeah, yeah.

It's like the exact opposite. the financial straits. Like he owes Rogan how much money now because he keeps asking for something, allegedly. Yeah. And then he's like, well,

when he makes it to the Dodgers, I'll be paying him back handsomely, you know? Chargers, Dodgers, anything, just get into sports. Do a high jump. Their whole personality

gets wrapped around their kid being an elite athlete. Brother, and now it's worse because, especially in base, right, it's like, it's a business now.

It's over a billion-dollar business. So now it's like there's these travel ball when I was a kid, you have to be really fucking good. Now it's back to him. Now every parent wants to say their kids travel ball. So there's the majors and there's two teams of the majors. There's three AAA, three double A, three

single A. I just want my, I don't need the best 10 year old. I just want him playing. So I don't give up, he made the majors team. I don't get a fuck me. It's majors, AAA. Pause it for a second? I can't imagine someone being like interested in this. Right. You know? And then what I was laughing about in the beginning

was kind of just, I was thinking about Shab, telling all of this to some dad, but it's not the dad. It's like some guy that he thought was someone's dad. And the guy's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm not, I'm like, I was just watching that game. I'm friends with people that, do you mean to talk with my buddy Brian, his son is playing? He's like, oh, oh, my bad, my bad. That's the problem. You don't listen. Imagine how your kid feels. He still doesn't get it. Racehorse.

Playing wherever. Have fun. Have fun. And apply yourself to someone. something and apply yourself like he was just about to say that bro this is this sucks ass oh yeah rogan's like i don't tell Mike is uh they don't need to do anything they don't want to do vaccines dude fucking listen to mark marron but what if

what if the reason rogan is mad is because he caught his daughters listening to wTF like on the day before the show that's why he lashed at theo because they were listening to like mark merit interview fucking tegan and sarer or whatever and he's like

did you know we're in a war. Do that again. You're going to be a boy tomorrow. Yeah. They start saying that like Mark Marin is behind people becoming trans. Yeah. That'd be fine. That's a good narrative, dude.

And I don't give a fuck. What level we're at? We'll play at all. And some of the parents, I'll come back from a tournament. They're like, oh, you play double A? I'm like, yeah, it's baseballment. You think he can only play majors so, what, I can sit around the water cooler and brag to you guys? I don't give a fuck.

The water cubby. The water cubby. The water's flowing at the cubby, daddy. I don't give a fuck. Down about a kid who's not playing as good as other kids. Oh, it's wild. But, you know, that's like stage moms. You know, there's a thing like that with actors.

To your point, they're right again, he's tied up in it. What they don't realize is they're fucking it all up. Oh, yeah. It's all going to get fucked up. I've seen that with a lot of. I kind of wish someone had told me I suck, you know, like. And baseball. So you're not,

because I didn't try very hard. I wish there was like somebody being like, you stink. Try harder. Nah, dude. I like the toxic shit, dude.

I love it. I really do. It sucks ass when you're dealing with it. Sure. Crime me a river, dude. You know what I mean? As long as that baseball hats in the cubby,

dude, yell at me, dude. I want to be the best out there. You know what I mean? I know. You have to pay one day for your family to be have a mansion because you're going to be in the Texas Rangers.

Dude, I want you to like not let me drive. driving the car with you to practice. And you know, it's funny is that you think I'm kidding. Like, no, dude. I want to be the best fucking baseball player, dude. Yeah. Don't accept anything less for me as a kid, dude. If a fat kid hits a home run off me, I want my dad to hit my mom. Yeah. Make me wear a fat suit for a week. Yeah. And hit my mom. Yeah. Do you get it's sick. Make me eat a little bit of poison. You know, like I get sick. That's good. That's white crazy right there. That's not I deserve. That's too crazy. I let a fat kid hit a home run off me.

If I die, I die. When the game's over, don't ask me how I'm doing. Tell me how I fucked up. That's what I want to know. Yeah. Have an idea of how much the fat kid weighs and tell me that. If I didn't get a ground ball, hit me in the fucking nuts, dude. Absolutely.

And tell me that that's what the ground ball should have done. Because at least I would have stopped the ball. You know what I mean? That's what the groundball should have done. That's awesome. Jobs not finished. Boom. Kick me in the nuts.

And then you say Mamba mentality or something like that. and be like, well, guess what? I guess we're not playing tomorrow because you should quit today. And I'm like, but I really want to play. My friends play. They're like, then get your fucking pants on and let's go. Oh, you're afraid of the baseball might hit you?

Well, this belt will hit you. And then if they go like, well, you're not playing tomorrow. I'm like, all right. They're going, all right, now you're getting a beating. It's like, wait, but you said I wasn't playing tomorrow. This is what I want. That's where you get Yasiel Pueg, you know what I mean? Just how many chicks?

You know what I mean? This is how you get to, like, like David Ortiz, people calling you poppy, they don't even know you, you know. So, yeah. Oh, you're not going to play well on the game today? Okay, well, I'll see you in the octagon. Yeah. Yeah, that's right you get the best. Yeah, if I lose a baseball game, I'm not going to want to lose because I know that my dad's going to tackle me afterwards in an octagon. Yeah. Bare knuckle UFC style MMA, dude. And yeah, I'm 10 years old. Yeah, he's fucking 45 or whatever, but we got to figure things out, dude. You show up and you're,

look like Nate Diaz after the Mike Perry fight? What happened? And you go, I let a fat kid hit a home run off me. And they're like, oh, you deserved it. I get it. Yeah, they're obviously what's it called signal boosting? What is it? Virtue

signaling. There we go. Yeah. They're virtue signal boosting, dude, because that's not what you're supposed to do if you want your kid to be the greatest. All right. This next one's posted by Not Yet. It's called Till Peak, Brian was Richa Them Bapa. What does that mean? Today I learn.

So today I learned Pete Brown was richer than Bapa. Wow. All right. Works. Okay. What was the spinoff? Schooled. Did you make more money in schooled than AP Bio?

Yeah. Because you were one of the main guys or because just you like your rate got higher with that network? Yeah. Well, it's just it was a spinoff of the character. Did you get more than 150,000 an episode? No. Did you get more than 100,000 episode? No.

Did you make 100,000 an episode? No. A little less than that. I think 75. I can't remember. And then do you have to pay your agent and manager? Do you not have those? I had an agent. That was it.

And a lawyer? No. So you... I've always run... So 675 is what you walked away with. Yeah, and then there's taxes and all over. Right. Yeah.

So per episode, you're probably walking away with your netting around 40. Probably. How many episodes? I think I would have to look. One season, two seasons? I think we did... One season. 13?

Yeah. No, 22, I think. Really? Yeah, I think so. Was it two? So that's $880,000 net. What did you do with that money? Put it in my house. Like in your closet or you bought new cupboards? I put it toward the mortgage. Toward, all of it.

Yeah. So it's not paid off. Your house, you owed more than $880,000 at the time. Yeah, yeah. But I put a lot in. How much is your house cost? I bought my house for back in the day. I was my money. making a lot of money and I paid a little, it was too expensive. I overstretched. 3.5? No. 2.8. 2.8, I think. Where? Santa Monica. Do you still have that house? My ex, my ex does. Gave that too. Remind me in the end of the show? Schooled.

Goldbergs. Is there some type of irony that all the money from schooled went to somebody who schooled you? Your hands are shaking. I don't look at it that way. I don't know what you're talking about, dude. Shakespeare. Oh. Just the tragedy in comedy. Yeah, it's good. It's fair.

Oh, man. I just like bad things happening to Brian, dude. I hate him so much. It makes me laugh. The clip isn't necessarily the funniest thing I've ever seen, but just hearing that. Good. Good. Good.

Yeah, dude. If I got $880,000, dude, I would buy a whole new studio. Yeah, that's a lot of money. And by studio, I mean storage unit. For a podcast. Yeah. I would buy like a whole public storage warehouse and then just rent it out to podcasts. Buy one and say, hey, Shab, you can record here for free.

Just move back to L.A., dude. And then I would invest also in a very loud AC unit. So that, because it's my competition. Obviously, I have a podcast. I'm in the quiet actual studio upstairs. And then I just turn on, every time I have like a. record of when they start recording and I just you turn on the noise. Yeah.

To fuck with them. Yeah, that is I mean that. Control the opposition. Yeah. That is one of my fantasies is to have so much money that I can just make people do ridiculous things like that for sure. Make shop. I say shop, I'll give you this much money but you have to perform my flappers every single night. Every night. And see if he does it. The podcasters are like, there's no catch. You're going to let us record for free here.

like, yeah, you're good. Yeah. And then every time they record, I pulled the fire alarm in their unit. It's just like, wee, weo, wee, wee. They just get used to it. Yeah.

Yeah. , meanwhile, I'm upstairs talking about Brendan Chopped still. So this next one's, you'll do nothing posted this. To this day, still one of the craziest outfit choices ever. Wow.

You want some happy hippo? You want some happy hippo? You want some happy people to get your mind right? Yeah. All right. Well, let's get everybody's mind right with a little happy hippo. It'll help you get that brain right.

I use this product for every show that I do any podcasts. I do a million podcasts. Get that brain right with that hat. Pretty good. Get that brain right. All right. So why are you saying things? I like how it looks like it's fire.

Like the green looks like if it was fire, it's the kind of effects it would have. Yeah, yeah. But it's cratum. It's just like glowing cratom underneath the seat. Neat. neither him nor the hippo look healthy they're selling a product

where the salesman and the mascot both look like they're going through some sort of health emergency he looks like he stole the hippo's hat yeah that was the hippos hat why is the hippo like so like weirdly magenta you know like what's going on with this poor hippo he's like what the hell why am I here again

is that my hat you fucking ass it looks like it's a hippo that you only see when you're on happy hippo great him. You get so fucked up. Have you seen the happy hippo yet? Have you seen it? Like yeah, dude, he told me to do a podcast. Oh, wow. That's good. That's good. Do you got a good stuff. Oh, you got that green dream. The happy old is you get 20% off. Use promo code thick 23. Remember three Cs or it's fake. I did so much happy hippo that he gave me a promo code for my podcast. I saw him. Happy. It was like, I have a crazy idea for you, Brendan. Have you thought.

about selling whiskey? Oh, you already do. Oh, okay. Well, I have an even crazier idea. Move to Austin. Yeah, move to Austin. All right, thanks, Hi, I stand up. I'm always using Happy Hippo.

So I changed my opinion and decided, I should do drugs. Where's felt face at, dude? I've shot at a radio. I haven't seen him in a minute. We'll do this one last year. You'll do nothing. You'll do nothing and post of this one. Can we throw back to when?

Bean Dip burst into Logan Paul's dressing room after a fight on announced to film content. Where is he at? Where is he at? On skate. Let's see here. Who's yeah?

What the fuck, Brandon? What the fuck? It's a win. It's a win. I don't know. It's not. It's fucking crazy. You're fucking alien.

That's what he said. Here's what's crazy. So the first two he's feeling out. That fourth, fifth, That's the best he has trying to take you out He's fucking chill. Unreal. You guys should be fucking stoked. I don't know, bro.

He's not told you. All right. Stoke. You guys be stoked, you guys be stoked. This is what you are! Yeah. You know, when you get older, I know, I realize it's in my own career. You kind of put the trash talk to the back, you know, you become more business-like.

But then sometimes you get a younger fighter that comes in your face and almost brings that enthusiasm back. me with it. You do YouTube? You know, try it. You're doing great. Classic, dude. I like anyone belittling Shab as fun to watch. Is this what you want?

It's probably a little surprising for him to have Shab come in there. And then Shab tries a whole court. He can't talk because he's got like ravaged by CTE. The first fight, you got the first and second, third, and then he just, all right, yeah, great. Thanks, Brandon. I hope you get home safe. That'd be funny if I do like the biggest show of my life

and I'm backstage after doing stand-up and Brendan Schaubox and he's like, dude, that's a win. I bombed. That's a win. And then he comes back and he goes, dude, you are too hard on your kid in baseball. Like, what? Are you talking to the right?

I bombed on that one. I'm going to be honest with you. Got nothing? I don't want that. on skate why do I keep hitting that one I will snap his fucking there we go but yeah um yeah that's it for us y'all join our patreon i've got an episode of sandbaggers coming i know that it's been a rough two weeks we haven't been posting a lot of content but uh there's some patreon episodes up there so to keep your to what's it called to wet your lip or what is it wet your beak um and uh these

these episodes will be posted uh early access this week was a little different because I went to San Diego last night to watch the Dodgers play basketball, dude. But yeah, shout out to you guys. Don't hit your kids. We were just joking earlier. Yeah, don't do that. But if you want them to be a star in baseball, then think about it. You probably have to. Yeah. Do that if you want them to be good of sports, though. See you next week.