10 Minutes of Schaub - Brendan Schaub IS SCARED OF HIS FANS! | 10 Minutes of Schaub #91

Episode Date: February 29, 2024

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When I crashed my truck, I thought I was going to die. You're just like a homeless. You cats make me cry. You write like a hater in your mom's basement I wish you took Kratom Just buy Hippocratom But I'm Brandon Yeah, I'm a reader What the hell are we doing here?

We don't belong here One take I wish I had some merch It's time for my favorite time of the week When you get nearby, pop a try to speak. Release surprises today. You better act care. Watch 10 Minutes of Shop.

All right. Welcome back to 10 Minutes of Shop. Thanks for tuning in. Great to see you. Never met you. Never will read your comments, but we're happy that you're here. Yes. If you want, join the Patreon.

We just did Shane Gillis' new special, Beautiful Dogs. We thought it was Netflix, but if you want to know what we really think, subscribe, GD. And also, Boner Alert. I did the voice too early there, but Boner Alert. We've got two things coming out. You know, I'm the chin here, right?

At Raccoon Tweeties. So I decided to start doing a cooking series with my mother. You might have heard of him. His name is Brendan Schaub. Nope. I only hear you talk about Schaub. Oh, so you have... But I've never seen the papi Ringo.

See, he's a household name. I'm here in my mom's house and she already knows who he is. No, I know because you mentioned him. I don't know who this fucker is. There's a famous joke that he has that his wife is Mexican. I think he means to say Mexican. Okay. Is this guy black? No. don't know who this fucker is there's a famous joke that he has that his wife is mexican i think he means to say mexican okay is this guy black no because that's how black people say mexican they say mexican and she could do she's me quite a bit i try to make her reduce you but she doesn't

and yeah uh i want to make it go public but i definitely will put it on the patreon this week oh nice okay good that's good yeah i saw the raw footage and i thought it was great yes yeah negflix if you will and cooney also shot something this week that we're going to try to get on patreon soon yeah but that i mean that's got to come out at some point right yeah so basically what i did was the first five minutes of the gringo poppy i've heard of it i'll put a little sample right here uh they call me the bro whisperer. That's why. The bro whisperer. Yeah. How we doing tonight? Everybody vaccinated Dallas? Everybody vaccinated here?

Yeah, I did it at an open mic and you'd be surprised at what people laughed at and what they didn't laugh at. I thought they would laugh at the whole thing. But they didn't. But anyways, I don't think that's why they're here. Follow us on Instagram too. Gerardo Comedy and Cooney or Die. But they didn't. But anyways, I don't think that's why they're here. Follow us on Instagram too. Gerardo Comedy and Cooney or Die. Thank you. Absolutely, yes. Check out our socials

B. How are socials? I don't know. Subscribe to the YouTube. We have a new goal. It's 5 million subscribers. Our new goal, I want to do an easy one at first. Because we're not numbers guys. 5 million we were thinking. So anyways, but that is not why they're here. They're here to watch 10 Minutes of Shop.

Yeah. We'll cut that whole part out. So start the timer, play the chain clip. All right. So we got a lot of painting narratives today on the podcast, dude.

And also for next week, we got to figure out something because we both have busy schedules. Right. Correct. Next week's episode is going to be a little different.

All right. It could be. Dallas. But let's see here. This one's called little different. All right. It could be. Dallas. But let's see here. This one's called Brendan burning all bridges. That sounds good. All the bridges. Did Andrew Schultz write that title with the alliteration?

Brendan burning all the bridges. Listen, when I post in Chang's, there's levels to this shit, bro. But it's posted by Astro Creep Skoo or Five Koo. Let's see what this one's about, dude. There you go. There's that. You got Mark Zuckerberg. They're like, yes.

Oh, yes. Yeah. What's like, oh, Zuckerberg. And then you got Dana. They're worth a billion. You got Rogan. They're worth five hundred million. Yeah.

Yeah. Brian, they're worth two thousand dollars. Yeah. And then you got like all these billionaires, right? And these celebrities. And they're just watching the most violent man in the world. Yeah. Well, that's how it's. And they're just watching the most violent men in the world going, yes, yes.

And they're going to jump on their private jets. It's just a weird vibe. Interesting. Oh, my God. The thing that I noticed about the clip is like, Brendan gets these voices and these things that he does that don't match. Like when he's pretending that he's blowing somebody, he does sort of an Arab sounding like,

you know, like voice. And I'm like, where did you get that from, dude? Am I wrong? Yeah. Does that, is that what it sounds like to you?

Cause I may be, I have a painted narrative. It sounds like that. Right. And I'm, where did that, is it the CT making him do that? Probably.

It's probably an easy answer. The easiest answer is the correct making him do that? Probably. It's probably an easy answer, right? The easiest answer is the correct one. But that just, it blows my mind that he puts these things together and then it doesn't make sense at the end of the clip. Along the same lines, too, when he starts to kind of be humble but not really and then brag about numbers, you know the Brendan Schaap special, Doug. He does that thing where he's like,

Oh, yeah, that's awful. Yeah, dog. He does that thing where he's like... Oh, yeah. That's awful. Yeah, dude. But that is also very funny. He should put more... In my opinion, there should be more of that. He kind of was gadooshing them for being rich, but isn't that his whole thing?

He has a lot of money? He wants to be rich. What is he talking about? Yeah, he's a little jealous. He wishes he was there. Yeah. There is a little bit of interest and jealousy in that clip, I would say. And, dude, I want to be rich.

What are you talking about? Yeah, me too. Everyone that listens to your show is probably like, dude, I work a nine to five. Like, that's, I look up to them. Listen, if being Mark Zuckerberg at UFC means I have to, for some reason, go, yes, yes, I'll do it. Yeah, dude. I'm down. I will chomp at the dick of Mark Zuckerberg. Yeah, dude. I'm down. I will chomp at the dick of Zock Mark Zuckerberg.

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Don't tell me I got to fuck my way out of a room or whatever it is. I'll fuck my way out. Yeah, dude. I'll even dig like Kobayashi. Come on. We all know that.

Come on, Brandon. Be cool, dude. Be cool, dude. Everyone's doing it, Brandon. All right. So this one's, I haven't seen this username in a while, dude. Remember I Downvote Cake Days? Oh yeah, great name.

Never met him. This one's called, remember when Bapa fake taking mushrooms but didn't know how to act? You remember this, right? Nah, I forgot it. We watched it on the show before, but let's check it out again, dude. You did take shrooms? Did you? I don't care. dude you did take shrooms did you i don't care

you can't take shrooms we have to do a podcast you can't do shrooms i've been working on my low kicks dude just oh yeah no because i mean hold on why don't you have energy you can't how you you're an extremist this is not like onederall, dude. I took one. Huh? You can't take one. I took one. I mean, it could be like a capsule, right? They do like synthetic shrooms. Don't try to save them, dude. Doug Noyce.

Yeah, I mean, I took one. It's pretty blockbuster. Yeah, you're right. One gram or what? I'm sure he doesn't know that there's capsules. Yeah. I really don't like, this time watching it, I really don't like that he's kicking him. Yeah. Because you're high on drugs and someone just, you're high on drugs, man.

And he's 50. He's doing this. Ridiculous. No, I don't have Adderall. You can't mix Adderall with mushrooms, you'll die. No Adderall. It's a roller coaster. No, dude don't have Adderall. You can't mix Adderall with mushrooms, you'll die. No Adderall. It's a roller coaster. No, dude.

No, you cannot be. How are we going to podcast? What do you mean? You. No, you just talk, I sit there. Here we go. There we go. Look, he's all loose.

All leaning to one side. That's it. Terrible acting. I have that shirt, though, dude. Oh, yeah, that's true. Walsh got you that. Hell, yeah. It's in storage Terrible acting. I have that shirt, though, dude. Oh, yeah, that's true. Walsh got you that. Hell, yeah. It's in storage right now, but I'll pop it out.

I put all my Thickpoint merch in storage. I'm like, I'm not going to need this for a while, dude. Dude, it's so funny that you see on screen something that you own that he wears. That's hilarious. That's good. Leaning to one side. Okay. You can't do that before the show well that's uh 500k folks we'll see you later

that's awesome you know it'd be cool like obviously we didn't matter didn't count whatever but it would be cool if shob somehow knew about our show and he wore one of the world record pod shirts that we have or one of the shirts that you wear some shit yeah like your dot like he finds your fucking clippers or clippers hat yeah i did say dodgers but i mean clippers dude the clippers would fuck the dodgers up in basketball so dumb but funny yeah okay call me stupid uh here we go this one's posted by pharrell 80s it's called life rips i feel like we've watched this one too before. I didn't watch it before the show, so let's see what this is. Nugenics Total T when you text 231

231. Enter the keyword golden. Text now and get a bottle of Nugenics Thermo X. The newest, most powerful fat incinerator ever. To help you lose the fat. Oh my god. Aptly free.

231. Oh, really, dude? Oh, man. Brutal. That's just brutal. Yeah. Watch a man's soul slowly eek out of his body. Oh, well. Content is king, B. Yeah, dude.

How would you not be excited and happy to be on one of the best shows out there dude i mean golden hour dude that seems like a that's not a golden second right yeah it seems like there's a lot of seconds in that golden hour that's what you mean right it was bronze for sure yeah he's starting to count off the seconds yeah dude um all right let's go to some text posts here this one one's posted by OneUsual4460. It's called, Be Talking Conspiracy. UFC gonna skim past Brian Callen in the crowd.

Okay. So what is he saying? Is he saying that the UFC, like they can't show Brian Callen because of his stuff? Because Brendan Schaub's a narcissist, dude. Anything associated to him, he's like, oh, really? You're not going to fucking make it the whole thing? Right.

So it's more about Schaub than it is about Callen. I see what you're saying. Right. Another painted narrative. Understood. You know for sure that he thinks they're skimming past Brian Callen because he's associated with him. Yeah.

Huge name. Huge name, Brendan Schaub, dude. People just like, when they see him on public, they get on the phone. They pretend like they're not calling. Say, Oh my God, Brennan jobs here.

Um, all right, let's see this one. This is called C exhibit eight inches. Great little tag there. Uh, Oh, Zempi arm with tattoos,

bullpen catcher arm without tattoos posted by kitten muttons. I don't necessarily know where this is from this uh reference evidence yeah uh i believe bapa right yeah um but it says physical evidence of redacted untruthfulness sourced from an ongoing investigation led by chief detective pp stays it's worth it just for that um So basically, this is a video of him apparently doing that truck race. Yeah. Right? Yeah.

But it's not his arm. Well, you know what? Yes. You know, obviously, we got to ask Jay. Call him. Actually, online. All right, let's do it. Hello, this is Jay.

Hey, how's it going today, Jay? You know, it's pretty good. It's a busy day, like always. A lot of calls. People are calling about all different kinds of things that Chava's done and said said or not done and said if i'm being honest with you but what's first question is are your teeth real my teeth yeah they're real and they're fucked up oh sorry so i just had that on my mind because you got big you got big you got big ones dude i know there's a show uh 10 minutes of shab the host actually has really small teeth one of them

does yeah yeah okay so i've seen it actually i love this show i've never seen it but okay well No, there's a show, 10 Minutes of Shab. The host actually has really small teeth. One of them does. Yeah. Okay, so I've seen it, actually. I love the show. Never seen it. Okay, well, then you're a duck. Right back. Yeah, so I had actually a question about the truck driving. You're supposed to be the co-pilot to Brendan piloting the truck, right?

Yeah, I did end up doing that. I don't know why he wanted me to do it because I don't have really I'm not a driver but anything to keep Brendan safe he needs a handler at all times why is it that he's not driving the truck there's a video from the truck and it looks like it's not his heavily tattooed arm you're breaking up

I can't hear what you're saying because you're you've got mail why does the phone break up only when you're breaking up. I can't, I can't hear what you're saying. Cause you said, cause you're, uh, you've got mail. Why does the phone break up only when you're not talking? I said, you've got mail. I did that on purpose to make it more ridiculous.

Oh, okay. Yeah. Best brains be, well, uh, I don't know. Maybe it is a pain in the narrative.

I don't know where this video is. I don't know what it's from. Like how did he put this out? It took me so long to realize that they're saying that he's not the guy in the car. Yeah. But, um, yeah, I mean, maybe I didn't watch that. I don't, where is that video from? It's not from Toontown. Cause we watched all of Toontown, I believe. Yeah. And I looked at the Toontown YouTube and they haven't posted for a month. They haven't posted new stuff. Right. Yeah. It takes about three years to make a two minute clip. Well, do you want the content to be good or not? You're right. Yeah. You're right. And like, how, how long does it take something to get Kibbe teched? Quite a long time.

Oh yeah. Don't get me started on Kibbe tech, dude. I could talk about it literally for days. Yeah. Or you could talk about it for like overkill, dude. Yeah. Uh, all right. So this one is posted by Dana White's mom. It's called beast lawyers take an L. Oh, okay. Did you keep up with this at all? No, no, no. Tell me what. Oh, wait. Yeah. They lost the, I did see that on the thing. They lost the lawsuit, right?

Yes. Please tell me about it. Well, this is just a screenshot, I believe, of the unique video. Brennan Schaub lawsuit is officially over. Apparently, they found on one count of whatever fucking guy, you know, it's so funny is that why would Brendan shop go after out of all people to go after? He goes after the guy that has no production quality in his material.

I think that he went after him. That's a good question, but I think he went after him because of that. You know, the video is like specifically him allegedly handing a phone number. So he was like, that was like too far. You come for me.

That's fine. He never gets mad when people criticize him, but if they go a little farther, then you get the horns. Yeah. But it's just like, dude, he would have had maybe less if you'd never had addressed it to begin with.

I'm happy for unique and all this support he's gotten. It just from brendan's perspective it doesn't make any fucking sense sometimes you gotta go like uh off the training and go baja mode dude you know what i mean i was trying to look at the reason i was looking at my phone earlier because i wrote down something from that long ass video in chang's or the one where they're giving a speech and he says, something, something, go Baja mode. And I just laughed so hard. I just wanted to get the whole line, but I couldn't find it on my phone. Baja mode is real though.

I have a Baja bug, dude, be cool. You do? Yeah, 57 Volkswagen. He says something like, we turned off the something and went straight Baja mode. I love it. The truck language is great and it should be incorporated into Chang's.

All right. Well, that's check out the unique video. I watched it last night. This is another painted narrative right here, dude. Pretty, pretty good, dude. Okay. Turning off traction control and going Baja mode. Oh, turning off traction control to go in Baja mode.

We'll use it. Let's see here. This one's posted by Pass A and Cliche. It's called Spotted Some Tiger Thick BBC. Why is it BBC? Well, Boys Bike Club or something. Oh, yeah. Merch on George W. Bush's socials.

So if you look here, as you can see over here. That's his chief of staff. Yeah. That's his chief of. That's his chin. Yeah. This is all. This is George W. Bush's thick boy nation.

Yeah. Got everybody there. And somebody in our discord said that CIA plant or something. Oh, it's a PSYOP. Yeah, PSYOP. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I think so. Brennan's so huge that you don't know where.

He's like an octopus. You don't know where his tentacles lead. He knows everybody. Everybody loves him. Everybody. When George Bush sees Brennan Shove, he's like, oh, it's that white guy that works too much. We can't do George Bush.

No better way to spend a Saturday is the cash in. With a couple thick boys. Do I agree? Yeah, dude, he probably hit some tiger thick after the bike ride. I could see it. This one's posted by Tiny Naturals. It's called Oh Bubba. And it's Brendan Schaub posting a picture saying,

am I doing this right? Hashtag off-roading. You know, this picture goes deep for us. Should we say? Yeah. That's crazy because this proves that what we what we received actually is true yeah that's wild and i i tried to fact check it by looking at the toontown footage and those wheels look different than what you get in toontown

so like the wheels here the golden wheels did not match the trx in the trx episode of toontown so i was like for sure the guy that told us this story is not telling the TRX in the TRX episode of Toontown. So I was like, for sure. The guy that told us this story is not telling the truth, but he is, but he is. That's crazy that this is the second time, something like that.

We're just because of who we are, even though we don't matter to encounter, we knew about this before. Yeah. Some to take, not to somehow this picture was sent to us before it was on chains. Yes. So, um um you know and this is posted

legit by brennan himself yeah that's fucking nuts the other time was i've already talked about this is when brennan's account got hacked the second it got hacked on twitter mark texted me like something or whatever so for a second there that's why i I had one of the first replies on there. I wrote hagged with two Gs. It's crazy. Crazy being in this world. Yeah. So the guy messaged me and said, for the most part, just what happened.

And I can go through it here without gadushing anyone. Yeah. I mean, the picture was wild and his description of what happened was kind of crazy there's a text exchange dude and it makes it all so much funnier because it is real I thought it was fake until right now yeah the text exchange sounds like

somebody faking a Brendan Schaub but it's just Brendan Schaub doing him it's just his life dude he put I crashed my truck brother and then sent that picture and then he says what the fuck do i do brendan shop says what the fuck i feel like i'm still somehow wrong like this is all like a hack like of some sort of prank or whatever yeah because it's like everything in shanks is so redacted but it's identical. It's an identical picture and it was sent weeks ago. Yeah. So I don't know.

On January, the day after he crashed, he sent this to us. Yeah. There was stuff about like a pain in the neck. Somebody in Brendan's camp is not on board, or at least they're not on board with everything he does, or they're just trying to have fun with it, or I don't know. But they're leaking info. That's why I didn't feel comfortable talking about it to begin with because I don't want to be part of that at all yeah yeah we don't want to be a

dude we want to be cool at all this is legit just fun for us so i don't want to i do not want to break news on anything no no that's why we didn't tweet about it or so any stuff people share with me i usually don't come out with them just laugh and i appreciate it makes me laugh and also it's king papa gets to share it himself dude he's the one that shared it. Nobody liked it. You know what I mean? Good. But yeah, dude, if you guys got any more leaks, we're safe with the fucking... We can keep a secret, dude. Yeah, clearly. We didn't even talk about

it until right now. This one's posted by AstroCreep5Ku again. Shaw promoted a special guest for their big show and then had Callan apologize at the end. It's so funny because when we get to the truck story later, it bugs me so much, but I think you're

going to laugh for here. Let's see here what this one's about. Yeah. And we'll be back and next time we're going to have, we're going to line up some serious guests. We're going to actually be more organized. I hope so. And then we got live Fire and the Kid.

Announce that. Live Fire and the Kid in Austin, Texas. Austin, Texas. Get your tickets February 15th. One show only. Special guest. Very special guest. February 15th.

One show only. And we got Fire and the Kid live. Fire and the Kid live in Austin, Texas. That is February 15th, Thursday night. One show only with very special guest. Yeah, we'll see. It's going to be exciting. This Thursday, one Thursday night, one show only with very special guests. Yeah, we'll see. It's going to be exciting. This Thursday, one night only, one show only.

Number three. Brian Callen, it's a live Fire in the Kid, not stand-up. It's Brian Callen and myself doing a live Fire in the Kid with some special guests in the capital of comedy these days. That's Austin, Texas. Yeah, and we'll be back. Next time, we're going to line up some And next time we're going to have, we're going to line up some serious guests.

We're going to actually be more organized. Next time will be way better. You know, I mean, like, we're going to have a good show next time. Trust me when I say, it's hard to tell whether he's saying special guest or special guests. Yeah.

Well, it keeps you guessing, dude, for sure. The real surprise is that no one is coming. Yeah. That's, I mean, you know, shit happens, but when there's a whole subreddit for you where, because shit always happens, it's like, come on, dude. I don't want to be like a douche here or anything

or a blog buster, but how hard is it to get someone to do comedy on your show in Austin, Texas? Yeah, dude. Right? A lot of comedians out there now, I've heard. Yeah. Let's see here. This one's another text post. It's posted by Bubba Dreams of Gumbo.

Some funny comments that made me laugh. It's called Justice for George. No comments are being deleted on last episode upload. And they're all haters. So the pin comment here from Fighting the Kids, get a free $40. A free $40 jar?

What does that mean? Dude, your computer is redacted as fuck. I don't know what that means. Get a free $40 jar. Oh, it's not $40. It's free, but it's the MSSRP. Get a free $40 jar. Oh, it's not $40. It's free, but it's the MSSRP. Get a free $40 jar, just pay shipping?

So the shipping is $40? I have no clue. It's probably $80 knowing that. Their marketing is genius level, so we're not going to understand it because we're two people that, not two thousand, two ducks. This first one's from Mark Gonzalez. It says Brendan finds a way to insult Brian's front row UFC seats because he's jealous

that he's banned from UFC events. Classic. 100 likes. Brendan hating on Brian's cage side seats is what, why a perfect example of why everyone hates him. Two wise. Just use one. Yeah.

Be cool. Jake, the snake says, why does Brendan never ate? I never agree with anything. Brian says, even the smallest things. He's a contrarian. He's so lucky why does Brendan never agree with anything Brian says? Even the smallest things he's a contrarian.

He's so lucky Brian's so patient with him. It's getting really difficult to enjoy these. This is comments from their live show? No, I think this is

just an episode. Brendan's paying for the one where he was bragging about being courtside or ringside. Oh, yeah, yeah. But Brendan's

gadouching him the whole time. Shopping in front of Brian for fumbling a word is like Stevie Wonder making fun of the blind. Insane. Why is Brendan slagging off Brian for taking his kid cage side? It's kind of weird for him to do that to his best friend.

Yep. Who would you... I know this is off topic, but who would you want their special guest to be on the show? You got any ideas? We already know, dude. Joey Diaz. That's who you pick? Yeah, I would love Joey Diaz to be that special guest, dude.

Can they get him all the way out to Austin, though? I think he doesn't really want to leave New Jersey. I don't know. Tom Segura. Tom Segura. I was thinking, what's that guy, what's the big guy's name that sings that we make? Jelly Roll. Almost called him Meatball. Meatball. They should get a guy that looks like him called Meatball.

Yeah. And his brother's Spicy Lasagna, dude. I would love to see Jelly Roll there. That's who my pick is for this. Well, I'm sad because I'm at this bad show. You might work at a gas station, but you can be the next Jelly Roll. Do you know what is the famous song? Do you even know the famous?

I don't know. I've never heard a song by Jelly Roll. He has like one song where he sings like that and it cracks me up every time. I'm a fat piece of shit. And people love that shit. They eat it up. They love meatball. I was discovered by Brandon Shaw.

Bam. Yeah. That's the Chris D'Elia. You know he does that, right? Oh, he does? He goes, bam. Oh, oh. When he's singing.

Yeah. Life reps. You got to get more and more redacted if you want to be in this business, dude. Sure. The next one, I think it's so worthy to go through all the comments. Okay.

You know what I mean? Sure. Shroot Farm says, oh my god brendan they spelled the name wrong which always makes me laugh dude brendan and his constant shade and arrogance to everyone slash everything ufc that isn't his opinion is exactly why people can't stand him there's a lot of reasons why exactly why people can't stand him yeah Yeah. A spin demon said, not surprised to hear that Brendan is the type to hold not responding to a basic text message against you. Those types of friends are beyond exhausting to have in your life.

They are always keeping score and taking any chance to punish you for the sake of being petty. Yeah. And sometimes it does sound like Brendan is like a little bit cult of personality-ish where he's at. You know, you gotta kiss the rings if you want to, you know,

be a thick boy nation, which is why George left. I got one question for you, dude. Yeah. Is that your fucking takeaway, dude? I got one answer for you.

Be eight inches. Cause you don't realize, I'm not laughing. You don't realize dude,'m not laughing. You don't realize, dude, Brendan does everything. Okay. So if you're not going to message Brendan, then what the fuck...

Why is he even working with you, dude? If Brendan does everything, how about some common courtesy too? B, respond to my message. No, I think we're both arguing the same point now then oh well i'm redacted so if i'm doing everything i'm brendan dude yeah call me schwab dude okay i'm texting you you don't respond to me i'm like oh was that what oh a calendar respond what are we doing here

dude i mean you know callan might have been busy yeah or no i think they're more referencing mark you know that's why he would have been busy that's why he fired. Mark would have been busy. That's why he fired Mark. Remember? Mark had to respond to like thousands of messages about socials, dig pills, dig juice, all sorts of bullshit.

Do you have my drugs? Sometimes it's a lot, you know, give the man a break. He's editing all these clips. Yeah. He's chin clips. Come on.

Seven times a week. Uh, all right. So now we're going to go into the fucking T fat K live right now. You know, Clips. Yeah. His chin clips. Come on. Seven times a week. All right. So now we're going to go into the fucking T-Fat K live. Right now, you know what we're going to do? We're going to take off traction control and go Baja mode. Ever heard of it? Oops. But I couldn't put it better myself, dude.

I think we wanted to watch the whole episode of review, but we're going to do snippets today too but this is going to be called the step mothership or colon how did not get invited back to a venue posted by the one and only great haphazard dude guys I know at least we're here

at the why do they call it the Vulcan gas company does anybody know me neither nothing this wasn't a gas company once yeah cool so somebody just said we'll call this one of those things you just name it huh it's called the vulcan gas company right you know that's how you do it let's call it the vulcan because it's like gas but b you weren't here't here. Vulcan was popping. This was the spot.

This was the spot. I love this place. And then Rogan said, cool story. And then fucking right across the street, dude. Yeah, but I like this place. It's got a good reputation. And we're here. And it's about to blow the fuck up.

When they find out. Doubled. You know how when the Beatles, they found out they were playing on a roof? Timely reference. Just, this is so stupid. They're acting like they're at Flappers. There's a lot of people at the Vulcan. Why are they gadouching the venue?

Cool story is another thing that Shob does now. Another freaking Shob-ism. And Rogue was like, cool story, bro, but I'm going to go Baja mode across the street. Everything about this is cringe and awful. The beginning where Callan is like, why do they call it Vulcan? Does anybody know? It's just like one of those things that you do, dude.

You freaking Vulcan gas company. Okay. Is that your takeaway, dude? Yeah. Because, so, you know, you're one of those guys dude in their mom's basement just fucking talking shit what should they do to fix it then dude give them a solution here's what i suggest you get yourself in your car, drive, take a little drive, the first Mexican spot you see, you stop. That's what you

do. And what time do you do this? After 4.34 in the morning, because they're not going to be open from 3 to 5. But when you get there, you say, my friend, papi, can I see the menu? You look at the names of all the Hispanic foods?

Yeah. What's that? Is that... Okay. Chileong. Maybe you find a new thing. And you say those names as redacted as possible at the next Vulcan comedy show sold out.

There's never two this shit, bro. Have Andrew Schultz as the guest. He can do Black Voice the whole time. There you go. Black Sin, live from Vulcan, dude. Black Sin, the name of the show. Black Sin, live from Vulcan. I will say this gives me anxiety, dude,

because I don't want to do a T-Most live, but we have to do everything they do, dude. Yeah, I'll do it. Shit. And I'm not going to not gonna lie to you dude i got kind of disheartened when i saw they were on stage with no red chairs i put that into discord they should have red chairs on that fucking stage delivered there dude well i mean you know they don't have to be like this you could just get a red chair yeah like a basic spray painted chair whatever you're gonna do there's it's scientifically proven that the laughs will amplify if you have red chairs. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. That's just everyone knows that. Everyone knows that, do you? All right, so this one's also a haphazard clip. It says, ladies and gentlemen, we got him. I slapped my knee there. Let's see. Same language.

So Chris, Chris, Leah, and Will Sasso and and myself we used to hang out a lot of it was because we would hang out together when we weren't doing podcasts so what happens is that we would just make you say you didn't know the guy with each other and we would just laugh and all we did was fuck around like like ladies and gentlemen we got it when i say I didn't hang out with Chris, I'm saying I didn't hang out with him because the times I saw him were at the comedy store. Our relationship was comedy store. And when we were-

It's work, right? It was always work. The truth is when you're way older than somebody, you don't go to lunch or dinner fucking ever i mean obviously we knew this already but it's crazy to see it like so laid out also when he's like i uh i when i when i'm saying i hang or i hung out with the leah and will sasso will sasso doesn't want to be in that sentence leave will out, okay? Will's been able to segue into another successful AI comedy career.

He doesn't need you gadouching him by association. Stay away from him. Yeah. All right. Well, let's go to the next one, dude. This is the one I was quoting from. It's a long one.

Yeah, I wanted to talk about this one too. Yeah. So let's watch it. Let's see what happens. It's haphazard again. The TRX crash story long. So let's watch it. Let's see what happens. It's haphazard again. The TRX crash story long. Great job. Yeah.

Uh, let's see here. What's up? With my truck. Yeah, I can. What's up? I just,

that's such a funny question. Can you talk about what happened? It's almost like, was it an audience plan? Yeah. Another thing. Cause I watched this whole episode last night. Stayed up till four in the morning.

Yeah. That's why we started late today. Because, you know, your boy's got to do his research. And you work too much. Yes. Watching this live thing made me realize we're never going to meet Brandon Chobb. I had to settle with that in my

mind, dude. It's just, he's so confrontational with everything. Yeah. And he blames his team a lot you know yeah and so if we're here yeah yeah well it's dude it's a difference when we do it because it's yeah the shit should be fucking right i agree i agree um like all right you know so okay you know whenever they give me a fucking uh excuse i'm like, oops, you know, it's supposed to be done. Oh, really, dude? You say that, and I'm like, chill, chill, chill,

and then, you know, we fire him, and we get another one. The most. But so, like, what was I saying? Okay, we're never going to meet Brendan Chobb on a personal level and be, like, cool with him. It's not going to happen. We have to settle that in our minds. It's just not going to, because he thinks that fucking Redditors want to kill him dude that's crazy he acts very

confrontational with everyone even fans of his like somebody wants to ask a question he's like ready for it to be gadooshing him right you know which is crazy i mean he's so beloved but then he also has this thing where he's like i don't know they could be like against me yeah you know yeah and he's always like yeah I have to be on my toes because, you know, Reddit wants to kill me. No, dude. What will we do without you? We love you.

Yeah. And we're on Reddit. Yeah. Ever heard of it? I know you don't know a lot about Reddit, but you have fans on Reddit too. Yeah, dude. You're focusing on the ducks.

Mm-hmm. Two hawks here. Let's see here. So check it. I've been saving. I have the video of me crashing. We had a GoPro on. It's so intense,

but my team will let me release till we get the payout from insurance, which I just got today. Yeah, I just got it today. We love them. Bop. I'm making sales shit through the roof. I'm making money,

baby. Hell yeah. I'm all for it. I'm all for it too. Let's go. They didn't cover. Hell yeah, I'm all for it. I'm all for it too. Let's go. They didn't cover it. I'll tell you. We came here by chopper.

Yeah, dude. So they covered no mods. I had that thing modded the fuck out. Everyone's like insurance covers all that. I'm like, fuck yeah. I sent them all this stuff. They're like, cool story. We don't cover any of that fuck face.

Cool story. It made its return. I bet he says it a bunch during this whole thing a lot of cool stories yeah and brendan says i'm not to gadouche brendan but people usually say cool story when they can't tell cool stories you know what i mean damn best brains cool story bro i can't tell good stories that's cool but i found another trx from this dude who built the exact same truck as me, but in blue and he's right at, he's like, I think 40 minutes outside of here. So I got his truck with the payout, but all I'm waiting to post that video.

As soon as soon as he takes traction control off and goes, yeah, he's going to post that video soon. Soon in Brendan's world. Was that two years? Yeah. He's like, I got to edit it for three months. Part of me was just thinking that he's going to post that video soon. Soon in Brendan's world? What's that, two years? Yeah, he's like, I've got to edit it for three months. Part of me is thinking that he's editing these videos himself. That's why it takes so long. Doesn't he understand? I mean, he's a marketing genius. He works all the time.

You should know about consistency, right? He needed to come out every week. We need Toontown the same amount of times we need a Tater Tot, B. Yeah, but audio, dude, is king. You're wrong. So put out the audio then i'll listen to the fucking audio of his crash just what would the audio be like dude it's probably something really redacted like him on the uh yeah man um i'm looking at your website

and i'm like i like the one jacket and sir are you driving right now yeah but i'm like i like the one jacket and the sir are you driving right now yeah but i'm like looking at the website right now that i'm scrolling through you have to be ready to be ready to be ready oh fuck oh shit oh fuck i fucked up my truck don't tell anybody okay so back to the jacket i took the video off for that whole thing. Perfect. All right. I fucking spit all over myself. That was disgusting. All right. Let's see the rest of this. Only I saw it though.

What happened? Okay. So this is what happened. So this is what happened. So I fancy myself an off-roader, right? Hell yeah. I put King Shox on it. It has 1300 horsepower.

It lifted. This thing was fucking dope. Huge balls. All my boys from King Shox, BJ Baldwin, who's a professional fucking truck driver. He's my boy. King Shox makes me laugh. King Shox, yeah, dude. Got to have those King Shox, dude.

Prince Shox, Queen Shox. No. i want different he's like my company's name is shocks a lot dude he's like oh you're king shocks dude king of the shots so it's like the wrong plug he'll find a way to do your plug wrong i'm sure it's called king shock i just like to think that brendan names them himself like his fish i like that there's he's doing this but there's not going to be like, you know, it's going to be this and then or nothing.

He doesn't know. He's too busy thinking about Kobayashi, dude. Let's see here. Kibby Tech, they're all dudes. We'll take you to Johnson Valley. All of us to go. I'm like, fuck yeah. I have to shoot it on Friday though because I'm leaving town next week. By the way, this is the story the guy told us too, dude.

Crazy. Friday doesn't work. Let's do it when we get back. I go, fuck that. I'll do it myself. Oh, but he did not say one part that I wanted to talk about. Brendan Chobb fucking blaming his team, dude. Call it when you see it, dude.

He blames his team for the fucking car crash. So I've never been off-roading and I get up there and casey was shooting he's laughing at this is an awful day so we're going case doing all the cool stuff shoots over it's all good i'm going through the sand doing a fucking donuts peeling out yay right everyone's like go brendan and then we're there for like four hours we're done one of my guys goes dude for the shot we need you one more fucking donut and then drive through the sand i'm like dude i'm tired i don't feel like doing that we just need the one shot i'm like fuck it let's do it okay and then this is the guy that wanted to film the extra shot yeah classic team mistake

well i'm glad to know that it wasn't brend fault. Yeah. He shouldn't be overworked. Four hours is insane to work that long. I know. What is he, like that white boy that works too much? No, dude. I mean, it's funny at the beginning he says, I'm somewhat of an off-roader, and then he says he's never been off-roading before.

I don't know if you caught that. So he's very tired when he's talking here. He's a tired man, dude. Okay. He has 12 podcasts. food truck diaries um the shop show t-fat k the carl bassett fight companion dealing with his mexican wife is there also much to handle dude that's a good title for a podcast dealing with my mexican wife yeah not even spelling Mexican right.

You got to spell it wrong. Yeah. But yeah, dude, blaming his team, dude. And if you want to watch the Gerardo cooking video, his mom has a funny little dig about saying Mexican. Oh, yeah. Who she thinks says that. Yeah, we'll see when it comes out, dude.

The TRX, you can turn off traction control if you go Baja and hold down traction control for 10 seconds got a hold down traction mode for four seconds and you go baja mode or traction control make sure you got those race slicks your chief wahoo hat. Your blowers. It actually shuts off the traction control. I didn't know this. Rams don't. So it picks up traction at a certain RPM. At 1,300 horsepower, that traction picks up way faster.

So I was going to turn. It's also Ram's fault. Yeah. Yeah, Dodge Ram? Yeah. I mean, they're fucking up. Mm-hmm. The text message we had was sent at 116 so damn might be a painted narrative b oh okay and it just locked up and went fucking like flipped right over and by the way here's the fun part here's the very fun part those side airbags was like cool story brendan cool story the side

airbag said cool story happy 2024 boom and knocked me out yeah his head he's like you know everyone's like oh how's your chin in ufc not good but it's also it's also not good when it comes to an airbag bro never quit comedy yeah look at all the people laughing brendan this guy literally his head had to move all these rob deer decks in the front row are dying laughing at you dude look at this gentleman right here right here in this little corner down here he like let's just analyze his laughter he's still laughing it's seconds that he's laughing let's watch this really quick but He's still laughing. It's seconds that he's laughing. Let's watch this really quick. But it's also. Look at that.

Look at that. It's also not good. Slapping the stage, dude. That's white chin, dude. That's like flagrant podcast level funny if you're slapping shit. Yeah, that's actually yeah. In today's world, like the new comedy, if you're like a really good comic, it's not about

laughter. That's part of it but most of it is slapping things let's watch it one more time really quick slap slap slap slap he's still laughing arms crossed laughing you know what I mean just wanted to give you guys a little analysis

yeah fucking I've taken a punch from a local pro cop no gear knock me fucking silly silly Siri hello what can I help you with Brandon I've taken a punch from a local pro cop. No gear knocked me fucking silly. Siri. Hello, what can I help you with, Brandon? Time for addies.

Addies, Brandon. No one's hit me harder than a 2022 Ram TRX airbag. It hit me so fucking hard. You don't see it. It's so fast. You'll see the video. I go like this. Oh, I didn't see it.

But here's what's dope. When you see the video, as the truck's going upside down, I go, not today. And I hit my seatbelt and then I fucking fall right on the ground. And then I'm trying to get out and the airbags. I don't understand that part of the narrative.

I don't know what he means. He not today and but he's i think he's painting it like while he's crashing he why would you why would that yeah not today like you don't want to live you don't want your safety belt to save your life today not today i'm not surviving this crash baby not today and i hit my seat belt and then i fucking fall right on the ground and then i'm trying to get out and the airbags they're so hard i can't get out and i'm panicking so then i just fucking open the door you were afraid that the weight of the truck was gonna was gonna i thought i was gonna die yeah so you see him kicking trying to kick the window open because i was worried the truck was gonna come come down on me. Yeah, it was weird. It's crazy how he didn't mention he was buying merch

while he got in the car crash. Yeah, that's a painted narrative that he left that out. Yeah. You'll see the video. It's like it sends the SOS thing. It's all eh, eh, eh, eh. And then I'm crawling out and you just hear me go, fuck!

And then what's cool... No, it's going SOS. It's going SOS. You've had a crash. I'll notify the authorities. But dude, when it says it's going to alert the authorities, I was like, there's no way. I'm in Johnson Valley, which is where it's a hammer sack. I'm surprised there's no dig joke there.

Johnson Valley. I'm in the Valley of Dicks, baby. Johnson Valley, no dig Valley. Yeah. Johnson Valley is not going to sugarcoat anything for you. No, you're going to crash. I was in Johnson Valley. You know, the magic one, the one that has AIDS.

I'm in the middle of fucking nowhere, like four hours from any city. Dude, a fucking chopper. Sound effects are his bad. Dude, a fucking chopper. Sound effects are his bad. Yes, dude. Let's get that one more time really quick. Three cop cars. Oh, no. Come on. I want the whole thing. What is this? High Terror from Police Academy? Boom.

Three cop cars. Oh. Defunny just doubled up, B. We need audience fucking reactions to that. They're like, you all right? I'm like, I'm good. Like, cool. Can I get a to that. They're like, you alright? I'm like, I'm good. Like, cool. Can I get a ride back? They're like, absolutely not. And then the cop cars were like, cool story

bro, and a boat came on the sand. And then the cop car, cop car out of the car closed the door. And there's a SWAT team. I realized I got SWATed. And then I opened my eyes. I was in Chin's apartment. I've had it all.

So how much did they pay for it? I'm a gearhead. I've had everything. I've had, you name it, I've had exotics. Nothing's better than a Ram TRX. Why? It's just fucking so violent, man. I have problems.

Vulcan Gas Company, listen, my TRX is different. I would do anything to have a Vulcan TRX. A Vulcan TRX. On Baja mode. Oh, man. All right, well, let's get to some more. Oh, man. All right. Well, let's get to some more painted narratives, B. It was hard because I was trying to make sure

I didn't get any clips from last week because we recorded on a different day. But this one's posted by P.P. Staines in the front. If I did get a second clip again, then we'll just watch it and have fun and stuff like that. This one's called Snaz brings up a Sean Strickland current event after Sean lit Boppa up on socials. So do you know that whole narrative?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like he was saying something about how like the UFC was like, there was like a plant with Sneeko, right? Is that what it was? Something like that. Do you know the narrative? I guess not. I guess I don't either.

I just remember seeing the tweets back and forth between Sean and that chick. Oh, because he beat up Sneeko. Like the chick that does UFC stuff. Yeah. And he was like, this is obviously like a UFC painted narrative. And they're like, actually, it's not. But I forget what it was about. I think it might have been about Sneeko.

Yeah. Sneeko went into the ring with Sean Strickland and was like, I'm ridiculous. And then got knocked out. Yeah. Yeah. Let's see here. No, I'm saying. And then got knocked out? Yeah. Yeah. Let's see here. No, I'm saying, yeah, I guess I'm allowed

to feel mixed about it. I love it and I hate it. Yeah. Yeah. Let me pee real quick. Wait, Machine Gun Kelly

seen in confrontation with UFC fighter Sean Strickland? It's really funny. 75 years later. He's like, what the fuck are you wearing, you fucking vampire? Machine Gun Kelly's like, okay. You see my girl?

Yeah, that's what Sean then says later. He's like, what? What's happening in the world? Megan Fox is with who? The super talented guy. That's so awesome, dude. I love Shob standing up

for Machine Gun Kelly. That's so funny, dude. Dude, you stick up for your boys, dude. He's one of Shob's guys. You expect him to like side with Sean Strickland? Who's a duck?

No, dude. Schaub only hangs out with the coolest people in the world like Brian Callen and Machine Gun Kelly. The best, dude. The very best.

Just the awkwardness is so palpable. It's, dude, T-Fat K is amazing, bro. Yeah, it's great. It's incredible to watch. Let's see. Look at Brian Callen's face. She's dude. T-Fat K is amazing, bro. Yeah, it's great. It's incredible to watch. Let's see.

Look at Brian. She doesn't look that great anymore. She's older, but she's awesome. She's a great person. Yeah, she's nothing against that. I just wouldn't be the best person coming from the person in the

room that looks the most like Megan Fox. Yeah. She's like, she doesn't look that great. When you're that, are we, are we on camera? Yeah.

Okay. Yes. And thanks to say, I've never seen that. Me neither. That's pretty dope. That's funny. What do you think about that beef?

That's funny. So he hates Sean now because they had a Twitter beef. So he's going to just side with Machine Gun Kelly. It seems pretty childish. Yeah. But he doesn't even, it's like he has a sixth sense for who he shouldn't be on the side. Cause he doesn't read these things.

Right. He didn't read the comments. You know, not even the ones he responded to. Dude, if you're not reading comments, you're not reading retweets. You dude,

fuck all that quote tweets, right? It's insane to, to have the perspective of, Oh, you're making, you're talking shit on me. Look at my wife.

Yeah. Okay. People want to fuck her, dude. All right? I'm not going to sugarcoat this for you, but people want to put sugar on her tits and tell her they're delicious. All right.

So let's go to another Astro Creep 5 Coup. This guy's been posting a lot, dude. I watched this one already. It's called Live Podcasts Are a Disaster, a quote by Brendan Chobb. Let's see here. Would be doing the live Finding Kids with me and Brian. Just straight comedy show. Oh, that was a stand-up show, not a live podcast?

No, no. I never agreed with live podcasts. It's not the medium for it. It's a bad idea. I've never been to one where i've enjoyed it uh of comedy podcasts so me and brian would do live firing the kids but it wasn't a live podcast suck dude brian's doing now but whatever um shout out to big and hungry i love you guys but live podcasts are a disaster. Warning. Warning.

Cringy moment incoming. This is a cringe alert. Boner alert. She's 34? She's 34. And you're 54? I'm 23 years older. Dude, when you were 23, she was zero. That's right. It's disgusting. It is disgusting. When you put it like that, right?

I looked at it before. But would you actually move here, B? What would get you here? You know, I got to... Yeah, I would. I just don't think Texas is for Brian. One person clapping is sad. Really, dude?

Yeah, one person clapping is sad. There's a bunch of people. Come on, dude. Their stand-up live thing, I mean, their show they're a stand-up live thing i mean their show live no stand-up is like a jeb bush campaign rally you know the please clap people person you know the brain works so much faster than like what life is kind of thing right you could have like a million thoughts in one second so you know like four claps. You're not going to go further than four claps

if you're the only one clapping. After one clap, you're like, somebody's going to join in now. Somebody's brain got triggered to start clapping. Second clap, you're like, maybe I'm the smartest person in the room. You know, nobody's working on my level B. Third clap, you're like,

all right, now we're in danger of being the only person that's about to clap for whatever's just said right now. Then that fourth clap, you're like, all right, now we're in danger of being the only person that's about to clap for whatever's just said right now. Then that fourth clap, you're like, Jesus, take the wheel. I'm not clapping anymore. You know what I mean? I mean, that's the thing about being a T5K fan is you, you have to risk it all. If you, and sometimes if you want to clap, I mean, there may not be anybody clapping with you. That's why that slow clap exists, dude. When somebody gives a long ass speech and you just go, you have more time to see if anyone's going to join in. be anybody clapping with you that's why that slow clap exists dude when somebody gives a long ass speech and you just go so you have more time to see if anyone's going to join in just maybe like

if you just do one clap it could just seem like you're laughing really hard then maybe you started something that was great dude let's see you i think it is for me. And I love the, I love that the comedy scene, the energy is here. I feel like, but I also, but you want, whoever clapped and wooed had too much energy drinks,

rain energy, dude. Yeah. That's what you get sponsors. Yeah. There's a reason for all this shit. Yeah. You're not a big set guy.

It's not like you're doing sets all the time in LA. So Kim, that's not your thing. You do the road. So don't give you're doing sets all the time in L.A. No, I'm not. That's not your thing. You do the road. So don't give me that shit. I know you're right. Yeah, so what else you got? I have a favorite.

You want to know the truth? What's your favorite? You all know it. And Brian, what's your favorite? Okay, what's his favorite what? It's cold. It's like a cold. Oh, cold.

The cold I know the most about is the Manson family. There's been some new cults that have been popping up on Netflix. Cult's always a white thing, isn't it? It's such a white thing. And I can't believe people get duped in like 2024, right? Fucking Valley Girl, dude. These are all really good original points he's making too. Yes.

Isn't it? Netflix keep making dots on Colts. Yeah. Like, did you see Twin Flame? Yeah. That one's wild. How fucking stupid are those people? Those people are so dumb.

I'm lucky. Let's do two more. What do we got? 1130? What do you got? Two more. No, we can ask as many as you want. What do you got, brother? Wild. You know what the biggest

call is? I think this time I just don't care. The biggest call to me is SeaWorld because of Blackfish. Yeah. It's kind of a cult. I've never seen that, but dude, my girl made me watch it last weekend, and let me just say, dude, Shamu different.

You know what I mean? He's like a whale with salsa on him. Right? McKillidy or whatever. What is it? Tillicum. Yeah. Tillicum. Oh, you said it right the first time. Ever heard of it?ckillidy or whatever yeah what is it mckillip tillicum yeah tillicum oh you said it right the first time ever heard of it mckillidy he's an irish whale all right let's see here this one's posted by astro creep 5q it's called shaw brings up brock lesnar's daughter jesus here we go another narrative b and there's you i feel like your jeans washed. Like your son is beautiful, but he looks like you had sex with you.

Disgusting. Yeah, it's a weird joke to make. Yeah. Oh, there you go. Whenever they hit something for this clip, I'm going to bang on my knee. Let me see your style compared to his because he's probably doing it better. Yeah, you're right. He's a master.

Your son is beautiful, but he looks like you had sex with you. Oh, you leave it on for a while. He left it on for a little bit. He's more of a pro. He knows to do that. Me, I was quick. I was too. He was nervous.

You're trying to be one of the thousand. You can't. One second. I had sex with you. Yeah. He kind of had like a reverb on second. I had sex with you. Yeah. He kind of had like a reaver on it. Boom, boom, boom. Smart.

Kind of thing. Good move. And more clapping that time. You mean like Brock Lesnar's daughter? Yes. See Clint? What do you? Oh yeah.

You mean like Brock Lesnar's daughter? Let's see here. It's the Brock Lesnar. It's the Brock Lesnar phenomenon. You know when she came out, Brock's like, okay, okay, fuck yeah, dude. I see shot put in her future.

That poor girl, heavy lies the crown. Yeah, I mean, there's a guy out there. Is there? Is there? There's a large black man out there. You piece of shit no you know that's true come on racism

no here's the thing another one it's so funny the idea of a black guy dating Brock Lesnar's daughter it requires another one come on racism no here's the thing no but that woman is amazing.

It is a cool gesture to be like, damn it, stop being funny, dude. Yeah, so fucking funny, man. This is a fucking serious show. Stop being funny, dude. You know? I mean, if we laugh too much, dude, we're not going to be able to finish this show.

Yeah. And I think they're just like physically showing their frustrations without, they don't have the chairs. Right? That's right. Because with the chairs, you got the mic here. You got the chair here.

You can't hit, you can't hit. Sorry, I'm not trained. You can't hit your knee if the mic is here though. So you have to compensate. Since the mic isn't here, you got to hit your knee. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're learning.

I mean, don't go to us for knowing because we're learning. I think that we're learning how to do it now. So if we're ever in this situation, we know what to do. Yeah. Yeah. Keep your eyes out for T-Most Live. We're looking for a residency in Raleigh. How did they say it?

Raleigh. Raleigh. Raleigh, North Carolina. Melbourne, Florida. All right. We're rounding out. We have like 38 more clips left. This one's posted by ShroomTang420.

It's called Names the Waters, I believe. Let's see here. Sorry. There. I've never met anybody who didn't like Saget. Yeah. He was always nice. There's like a few guys where I don't know anybody who doesn't like him.

Bobby Lee's one of those. Yeah. You don't like few guys where I don't know anybody that doesn't like him. Bobby Lee's one of those. You don't like Bobby Lee, I don't like you. Bobby is. I don't like you if you don't like Bobby Lee. Amen. Bobby Lee is great. We love Bobby. General Lee.

Yeah, dude. I know somebody who doesn't like Bob Sagan. Oh, like a homie? Oh, yeah. Something about a screenplay gone awry. Oh, okay. Yeah. Industry talk, dude. But about a screenplay gone awry. Oh, okay. Yeah. Industry talk, dude.

But Bobby Lee is our North Star, B. We discussed the podcast here. Yeah. All right. So let's go to this one. It's posted by Haphazard. It's called, Bapa got bored during the caller's therapy session.

Do you want to make a prediction or no? Because, you know. It would be ridiculous if he just said, gay, you know? I don't put it past him. I don't think that's what he did, but that's not going to be my guess. I think, because I saw the beginning of the clip, so I might have some

indication of what he's annoyed with. I think he's going to be like, you're making a big deal out of nothing kind of thing. That's a good guess. So let's see here. You think Sylvar was making these points? That's kind of one of the only takeaways I got from this was the same thing that I realized. What is he saying

to Crystal? Let's see here. This was the same thing that I realized as a child was like, I would, because my parents are separated, obviously. 56% of the world. When he's, when he finds out that the guy's parents are divorced,

he's like, Nope. Cool story, bro. You heard what he said? What? Something 56% of the world. He's like,

like 56% of the world. Like the divorce rate. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So wild. Why not be like, 56% of the world? Like the divorce rate? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's so wild. Why not be like, oh, that sucks. Yeah, sorry to hear that. Dude, he's becoming a numbers guy, dude.

He's just bored. It's like a boring topic for him. He's working on that other level. He's like that blue guy with that big famous comic book or graphic novel. Oh, Watchmen. Watchmen, yeah. Dr. Manhattan. Dr. Manhattan. Dr. Manhattan.

I almost called him Professor Manhattan. Professor Manhattan. He's like Professor Manhattan, dude. Imagine Bob on the moon by himself or whatever Professor Manhattan is just like sitting there. Drugs. Well, I'll say, you know, his fucking dick size is probably comparable. You know what I mean? True.

Yeah. Good point. He took the vax, dude. Goddamn dick's down to here. Sorry about that. Let's see. Realize who did what. Who was there for what.

Who did what. By the way, that's what I'm saying for you. Keep your cool and be patient. Because it will come back around later. It will just be older. But you're not going to get that gratification now. Just keep doing you. Be the best dad you can be.

Be patient, and it'll come back to you. It happens. Yeah, because I'm not so much the fun one, and that's something my mother always told me when I was growing up. It was like, yeah, it's always fun. The song lets you know how long it is, right? Yeah. Like, it's always fun. The song lets you know how long it is, right? Yeah. Like, it's crazy, right?

Maybe we should get one other person on the show just so we can both be on our phones. Yeah. Dude, that is fucking crazy, dude. I can't imagine being on a live call with somebody, a fan nonetheless, dude. It's a bit blog buster we didn't even do that during the voicemails yeah

the guy talking right now is fucking Europe and this is Bapa canceling the show dad's because he doesn't have to make sure you stay on top of things I do every yeah yeah yeah that's that's that's undermining shit yeah it's cool that they have little

pill bottles in front of them. Or like, those are either pill bottles or like some sort of weird elixir. Magic mind. What the fuck? I don't know. So weird, dude. Sounds like it's going well. I just wanted to hear it from

people outside of the know. You're good, man. We got you. You know, regular people. Oh, my God. It's so long. Or tea tree oil. Maybe it's tea tree oil.

Oh, yeah. You know, their skin. Yeah. Well, I don't know if we're regular people, but we appreciate you thinking that. And that vote. Well, I mean, you know, these quote-unquote professionals I want to hear just. No, I know, buddy. That's magic, man.

You're doing all right. Just what Eric said is right. Take care, man. We'll talk to you next time. Yeah, buddy. Take it out, man. I appreciate all of you. Later, brother.

What the fuck? It adds insult to injury that they're dressed pretty much the same, red hat, black shirt. He's dressing like Sha, but can't get his attention. Oh, dude, shop needs to shape up, dude. What are your thoughts on that?

So like when you start dressing like your dad, so he pays attention to you and he still doesn't care. Oh, that hit home for me, dude. Sorry. I was just kidding. I was trying to just talk so that we can go to the next one.

I swear to God, I'll cut that part out. All right. So this one is this one. This was posted by a successful egg. Eight, three, four, five. It's called Brian Callen needs to retire. Here is 20 years of the same quote. I am a man and physically comedy.

It's so funny. Somebody's in our red. It's going to put a picture of my dad wearing a sasquatch shirt all right here we go a fucking gun like i want that i know it's land but i want to fucking i want a piece here and i'm telling you right now that my fantasy versus what would really happen is i for the first fucking two weeks i'd have my piece and i probably practice just in case there's a situation corn everywhere you never run out of fucking corn you know lucky you are you got fucking corn everywhere that's why you're so big just you're shucking all that corn You're not looking for a 350 pound Kung Fu turkey are they?

No they're not. Now teach that shit in Russia. You guys wanna dance? I just, I want to say things in a Scottish accent. I want to say things like, if it's war they want, it's war they'll get. Scottish way. That's right my friend. That's right. That's right genie! It's New York City. I feel like a giant. I feel like King Kong. It's Chinese for King Kong. Oh, brother, this guy stinks.

Oh, I should do crowd work in Scottish. Give me a phone. Who's Cheryl? Who is Samantha? Dude, I, uh, so you did the gringo poppy this last week. I did a Brian Callen attempt. That was funny, but I did not have something like written and I didn't do the hand. You're really good at Callen.

So yeah, I would, I would suggest writing and then, and then doing a little more of the movements with your body. Yeah. You got to incorporate that. Just got to be physical. Shit. God damn it, dude. Good luck getting out of that fucking chair. These chairs are great, but getting shit out of them,

you fucking break. I think that's how I hurt my shoulder. That's not going to help the comments that are like these two dudes are out of shape and the noodle arm bait as i hurt my shoulder reaching what the fuck did i tell you dude never don't read the fucking comments you're right there are a bunch of fucking quack quacking fucking ducks yeah okay i'm sorry i'm sorry i was right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I needed that. All right, here we go. This one's posted by Haphazard.

It's called Boppa is Afraid of the Reddit. In parentheses, subtitles required. They forgot to mic the audience. Here we go. All right, what do we got? What do you got, brother? Yeah. Yes, you saw us on the street.

We're the same. Go on. Yeah. Yes, you saw us on the street. We're the same. Go on. Yep. Farty. You did? No, I just did that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Did I? No, you know why? Because he was on the phone. I saw that. I clocked that. I clocked it because you were like that and you were excited. So I'm always like, thank you. And I want to make it a moment for you.

Because he doesn't have to. So I have to deal with like the booking, all the guest list. He does all the work. Making sure this is set up, all this. Bro, that fan didn't know. Yeah. The fan just wanted to say a cool story, bro. And then these fucking idiots were like, cool story, bro.

And then they just went into their narrative. Yeah, dude. Is that your fucking takeaway to you? Okay, yeah. School me. No, dude. Is that your fucking takeaway to you? Okay, yeah. School me. No, dude. He doesn't know that Brendan has to do a lot of shit. Oh, I see.

So he's going to be on his phone, dude. Oh, you want to get a dap up on me? You're going to have to walk past my security bee. My security is a fucking Korean man that eats condom fish. Okay? I'm so sorry, dude. And orders DoorDash and says he could let me finish all right i don't want to say hi to you dude i got sean strickland calling me out on twitter dude

i don't read that okay i got a fucking magic mind asking me about how the promo is going okay never seen it i got a tea tree oil that wants to do business with me now dude i'm gonna put that on the desk, okay? I got fucking fans on a video call telling me about their fucking life, dude. Cool story, bro. Yeah. The part where you said, I don't want to say hi to you. The song went, boom.

I don't want to say hi to you, dude. I got Sean Strickland calling me out on Twitter, dude. I don't read that that was so funny yeah dude that's your fucking takeaway dude that was my takeaway from that song yeah the speech great well done okay well explained i'm surprised diet coke hasn't hit him up yet dude they should yeah the whole world needs a coke let's see here brian just shows up yeah he's like this he's like he's doing and it's been that way for 12 years so i was a little stressed out and it's right before the show i love you but yeah yeah brian's like a lab but i'm glad you called him out he's like a labrador you know he's just

happy you do look but sometimes when you meet people you do look as though you're a little bit worried about what they're going to do to you. So you kind of like go. I got trust issues. I don't know if you're going to stab me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Be like, Reddit 2024. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know? Reddit 2024, such a bad joke, dude. Yeah. He needs to work it out. That's why he needs to fucking work on his comedy, dude. It's funny that you chose 2024. So it's something he's done this year. It makes even less sense. I'm like, Bapa, did you see it in comedy, dude. It's funny that you chose 2024. So it's something he's done this year. It makes even less sense. I'm like, Bapa, did you

see it in 2022, dude? The joke he's making sounds like he's saying, like, I'm stabbing you for something that happened in X date on Reddit, right? Yeah. He picks the year that we're in. Like, he just has no comedic instinct whatsoever. Yeah. Only by accident, which he has great comedic instinct with.

If you would have said, like, ready, walk you to your truck. That would have been better. Dude, come on, B. You got it. I don't know. Yeah, you're like my sister. Like when I meet people, I smile right away. My sister and him, they just go like this. What's up, man? Probably because your friends

suck. Nobody wants to meet friends of you, Callan, because they're like, you're his friend? Yeah. Okay. Okay, dude. I don't want to have dinner with you once. Let's see. It's sad, but people are so mean to me on the internet. I see them being mean to me out there, and I'm waiting for it.

Yeah, I'm waiting for it. Why is he being so confrontational with a fan that asked him a question, dude? Yeah, these are your fans, Papa. He's like, he's forgotten. I'm waiting for it. I'm waiting for it. Yeah, like he's threatening them. Yeah. He probably sees somebody. He sees the people

in the audience. He's like, pee-pee stains in the front. I pass her, dude. He's like... It'd be so weird to have a show where it's all your fans and you're looking at them like, is that the fucking guy? Is that him? That guy hates me. No, they paid to see you, stupid. Yeah. Whoa, dude. Be cool. Cool story, bro. Not his name. You're you, stupid. Whoa, dude, be cool.

Cool story, bro. Not his name. My apologies. It's Brandon Schwab, bro. But you know what? If they're mean to you, you can squeeze them. Exactly. That's why I'm ready for it at all times.

But you can do it smiling. It's way creepier. No, I don't want to do that. If I was as strong as you, I'd go, hi, thank you. And the last thing they see is your teeth. You'll go to a better place. I don't want to do that. What else we got? Yeah, I'm glad that, I mean, this is what Chavez had to deal with,

these terrible bits. Yeah. And he's like, oh, God, Brian's doing the stupid voice or face again. Yeah. The smile. That's the telltale sign of a horrible Brian Callen bit when he's like, and then you just smile.

You know, you smile the whole time you're doing it. It's almost as bad as the bit where he calls people and threatens their career. Nah. Oh God. He's calling Bobby Lee again, dude.

Fuck. Yeah. Yeah, dude. You know, he was buying that shit. You know, he was smiling on the other side of that phone,

dude. He's like, Bobby, you know, I can on the other side of that phone dude he's like bobby you know i can tell you fucking your career's over bobby lee's like what you think i'm behind a subreddit yeah okay uh this one's a nice little garnish dude it's posted by thunder lips 187 it's called's called Another L from Dipshit City. You know, that's kind of hardcore to call him that, dude. Come on, B. He's not Rowley, North Carolina, dude.

It's called, I already said the name, but the subtitle is The Big Dumbfuck Podcast. That's not even like the same letters as TFAK, dude. Was discussing Wheel of Fortune, and Brendan doesn't know the difference between letters and numbers. Yikes. Let's see here. Good for her.

Remember when she was holding out? She's like, it's not fair. I want Pat Sajak money. Absolutely not. Get back up there. Get back up there and turn the numbers. Turn the numbers. Turn the numbers.

Turn the numbers. Turn the numbers. Turn the numbers. Turn the numbers. Turn the numbers. Turn the numbers. Turn the numbers. Oh, my God, dude. He's trying to get douche somebody else, and then he does that. Amazing. Just like he could have written it better. This is like every time he tops what he did last time. Turn the numbers.

Turn the numbers. Amazing. I'm speechless. i got nothing it's just like when you connect all the dots you're like oh it's never gonna stop dude he's just gonna keep doing it no he'll find new ways yeah that was me that's one of the funniest ones that i've ever seen he's trying to tell her that she's not gonna be be shit. It says turn the numbers, dude. She wants to get paid more. It'd be so funny.

Like if he was the guy that worked, he, let's say he's a producer on the wheel of fortune and she asked for a raise and he's like, get back up there and turn the numbers. And then she goes, what? What does turn the numbers mean?

He's like, you know what I mean? She's like, you know what I mean. She's like, I don't know what you mean. The letters you mean? Oh, yeah, my bad. Are you okay? Get back up there and turn the numbers. All right, let's go to the next one, dude.

Okay, this one's posted by astro creep five coup again it's called anyone else getting concerned another nice little garnish here because it's a quick one let's see the energy that it's like it's like it's like you're the you're in the app it's like you almost like yet the energy that yeah yeah i mean we knew that we saw that for sure good morning vietnam name the movie all right let's go to the next one dude this one's posted by scorpino 33 we had a whole uh reckoning tweedies episode about these bad boys i'm surprised we didn't think of that not the best brain scorpino has it though

yeah well you did say it on the podcast oh i did yeah oh well uh these with the golden hour jacket straight fire dude agreed um perfect perfect choice not my kind of shoes but you know if that's your takeaway right how does a small guy fit into those big shoes yeah that's my that's what i said um when i first saw it um let's see here sorry okay so another haphazard clip here the red and c is still on oh no let's see what this one's about um that was showing austin that was great to be up on stage, bro. I know. We haven't done a live fighter in a hot second. And real fans. Hot second, dude.

We haven't done the live fighter in the kid in a hot Carl. We haven't went Baja mode off attraction control in a hot second, dude. Let's see here. Like real hardcore fans have been watching us forever. Deep dive question. Yep. A SWAT guy. A SWAT guy came up.

He was like, oh, I'm SWAT. You know, I'm here with my wife. And it was just like Texas, man. It was just Texas. I loved it. It was fun. And I felt like we were really jiving. An hour and 15 minutes, I didn't even realize what happened.

Me neither. When we got off stage, like, how long did we go? I'm like, hour 15? Like, holy. I know. I thought it was only 30 minutes. Yeah. It was crazy.

And we'll post it live for you guys who couldn't. I mean, we'll post the live show for you guys. We're going to do that, what, Wednesday? Bank them. Yeah. It's crazy. And we'll post it live for you guys who couldn't. I mean, we'll post the live show for you guys. We're going to do that what, Wednesday? Bank them. Yeah. It'll come out Thursday morning. Come out Thursday morning. Yeah.

Yeah, dude. It was so much fun. We'll do a Red and Sea there once a month. Oh, shit, dude. Oh, fuck. A Red and Sea. A Red and Sea. We're going to do a Red and Sea. We're going to do a Red and Sea there soon. A Red and C. A Red and C. We're going to do a Red and C there soon.

You guys want to do a Red and C? It was so much fun. We'll do a Red and C there once a month. Once a month. One day a week. Red and C. Red and C. We're going to do a Red and C there, dude.

And line up guests. I feel like guests are good, but I kind of enjoyed that with us for a while. That one has scheduled a guest in Gordon Ryan. We knew it was going to be dicey. He was like, man, my stomach, if it's good day of, he's like, I think I'm good. Then two hours before the show, he's like, I am not good. Yeah, he's touch and go. Yeah.

But he's getting better. Either way, we had a fun time in Austin. Then I left at 5 a.m., went to Phoenix. Are we allowed to talk about that with Ryan? That's very out there. It's very out there. Okay, I don't want to. We're not breaking news.

I don't want to. Okay. Yeah, yeah. I talk to him all the time. Okay. Well, worth it for that word. Very funny. Red and C, dude.

Ridiculous, bro. All right, let's go to this one here. This is the one I'm not sure if we already played it on the show, but fuck it, dude. Fuck it, we Ball, baby. It's called Boppa Flexes His Juicy Recurring Gig at the Step Mothership. Sorry. Let's see here.

They got a new Bricktown in Tulsa now. Yeah. A what? Bricktown Comedy Club. Oh, cool. Same one as Oklahoma City. It's good? I don't know.

I haven't done it. It's the same people I got. Same owners, yeah. Never been, bro. It's been a great place, but never have been. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They got a lot of... You been in Bricktown?

Only thing I got finally, kid, is doing a residency in Austin. We're at the Vulcan end of March. I'll post it soon. Last month. Every month? So much fun. Every month. Oh, cool.

You know how much easier it is to say a monthly show as opposed to residency? Yeah, just say that. It's a good suggestion for him. He needs like a teacher in his life. A handler and a teacher. Someone's like, hey, do this. Well, he's got plenty of t-shirts, B. Let's see here.

Oh, that's cool. All right, guys. Doing a residency in Austin. I want to come down here and do Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. That's all I want. Done. That's it. Done a residency in Austin. I want to come down here and do Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday rounds. That's all I want. Done. That's it.

Done. That's it. Do another show, B. Not just one, cocksucker. All right, we got one more clip, dude. Let's go. Ready? Boom.

It's that diaper needs changing, B. Posted by Toronto Rapture. One second. Let's start over here. Here we go. Ready? Boom. It's that diaper needs changing bee posted by Toronto Rapture. One second. Let's start over here. Here we go. Oh, God. Gross, dude. Chin is out of control chin is fucking out of control dude i don't know what to say to you right now you just went off uh traction control and went on baja mode okay different okay if you wanted to hurt me you got me brother you are not using race

licks when you played when you picked that chain clip i was like the whole time i thought what else we got and then i saw it and i said boom i feel like i'm on 30 cc's of road nicotine right now. Did somebody put water in my rain energy drink? Where's my coffee? I'm at the Buffalo Bills and I don't got a cappuccino. Alright? Egg flicks not. Black buss up.

I ain't mad at you. Niedermeyer. But there's one thing I know. I'm a bet on myself. Because when I put all day on the chips, I'm not dealing with the sharpest tool in the shed, with the smartest tool in the shed. With the smartest tool in the shed.

It's just me, Gerald, and these two red chairs. When I saw that last clip, I was like, if you wanted to hurt me, you got me, brother, dude. That was fun. Yes. That was a great episode.

That was our episode. Check out our Patreon. Check out our Reddit. Check out our Discord. See you next week. Later. Bye.