10 Minutes of Schaub - Brendan Schaub LOVES Dana White! | 10 Minutes of Schaub #16

Episode Date: January 16, 2023

Sixtheenth episode of 10 Minutes of Schaub

There's a place called Trug Walk Avenue Where I used to sit and joke with you We were both big boys and it felt so right Annie Letterman won't suck my pipe Stop at my favorite time of the week When you get the ear pop, I try to speak Release surprises today, you better act gay Or watch 10 minutes of Shob

We're back, baby! Woo! Another 10 minutes of shop We're back, baby! Woo! Another 10 minutes of shop. Classic yellow card riff. Hell yeah, dude. I love that song, right? If you love that song, join the Discord. Join the Discord!

Why not? Why not? We're so excited to be back. You know, we had a great week. Thanks for tuning in. I'll say this. Before we start the clips shout out again to CF Guitar

CR Guitar CR CR Guitar it's Chris Robbins Jesus Christ I'm out of it man I'm out of my shop okay

but shout out to him great intro you'll hear it again and then one last thing before we start the clips because that's what you're here for is if we get we got to 10,000 views

on the last one thank you if we get to 20,000 views on the last one, thank you. If we get to 20,000 views on this one, I will dress up like BGL for one of the 10 minutes thing. Maybe Halloween? I don't know. But if we get to 20,000, I'll do it. Also, I wanted to

make an announcement. What? I am, there's been a lot of controversy and discussion in the comments section and I am a fan of Brendan Schaub. Alright, well that's a huge drop. And now, 10 minutes of Schaub. You're like, well of controversy and uh discussion in the comment section and i am a fan of brendan shop all right well that's a huge drop and now 10 minutes of shot you're like we'll cut that part out click play now all right so this one is called i'm your huckleberry b huckleberry b all right

let's see here oh then you're saying nobody has cameras on their phone oh it's so weird man so to me when he said that all I said is like I'm not a big conspiracy guy if you want to talk about JFK, JFK Jr I'm your Hucklebee you want to talk about Charles Manson I read Chaos I'm your Hucklebee

I don't entertain the lizard people I don't entertain flat earth I don't entertain a lot of this shit but when it comes to that I just have some questions you just ask them questions a real friend would stop him and be like it's huckleberry yeah yeah you know even just to like rip him a little bit yeah but callan just sits there and lets him say i'm your hucklebee like seven times i don't care what his jfk but i'm a hucklebee i'm a huckleucklebee, man. Like, it's a good point. Come on, Callan.

Step in. Even the guys ripping on Chop want you to help out your friend a little bit. You know Callan has Tombstone on fucking VHS and DVD, dude. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sure he knows what the movie is. Yeah, he's got to know.

I don't even think I got it right, dude. It's Huckleberry. But Tombstone is the name of the movie. Oh, yeah, it's in Tombstone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you got it. Jesus so worried i'm so made as paranoid to mess up even a small thing all right let's see this one's called papa's a fucking dummy exhibit a all right black screen started a very cinematic start to it but when it comes to that i just have some question and go ahead and play the fucking tape back.

So you do that history channel show, Hunting Hitler. That was fun. Did you ever fight Hitler? Yeah, so he died. I'm a fucking dummy? I just have some questions. I'll be your hucklebee um all right so this one's i got a long title you want to read it uh no no no okay i think this is this one of the stand-up clips all right there's there's a long stand-up clip at the end here for dana white i saved it

for the end oh okay yeah gotcha so this one is stand-up. Let's see tried and true stuff. Everywhere I go, people are like, you're not from here, are you? What? No. What gave that away? Style? You know? You guys got some fit girls, huh?

Some of the girls out there are thicker than I'm used to. Some of the girls look like Brock Lesnar out there. Damn, that's so bad. That's just so bad. That might even just be a bad clip. But I don't know. I wanted to watch it

just because like Brock Lesnar, that's what you think of when you think of a girl that's like big, like a fat girl. You're like, you look like Brock Lesnar.

He just only knows like wrestlers and UFC people or something like that. And then he has style. Like what? His city shit is so bad. Yeah. Oh, dude.

I was like state or city. Oh, dude. I'm in Wisconsin. And dude, like you guys can't dress. Your girls are fat, dude. Oh, really, dude? Why can't he just say like your girls out here are thick like Vikings or something instead of Brock Lesnar?

I don't know. Are you trying to be on King of the State right now? the stand yeah yeah you guys want to try a hot chip challenge all right the next one is uh skep la hip all rise what does that mean it's not i feel like i just said thing in nazi hey and he had no fucks given now maybe, maybe that's a Chechnyan thing. I don't know. That's the only time where I have skeptical hippo eyes. Something's going on. Is it a hypothesize? Skeptical hippo eyes.

Skeptical hippo eyes. You know that meme of the hippo with the skeptical eyes? Oh, it's a meme thing? Yeah. Okay. I'm not surprised that Shabba's it's a meme yeah yeah okay i'm sure i'm not surprised that job is drawing from a meme but skeptical that's the only time i'm skeptical man skeptical play it one more time that's the only time where i've skipped the hip boys that time i got it you gotta really slow it down hip boys i've skipped the hip boys it's like instant replay in NFL sometimes with Schaub

and then slow it down a little bit more and the referee and the thing over my head oh yes yes yes okay so that is five yard penalty that was inbounds skeptical hippo eyes

we go now down to the field what do you think he said, Chuck? I think he said skeptical hippical eyes. I'm not sure. All right, one more time. Yeah, we need like another person we can call out to to speak on what Schaub is saying. All right, this one's called Boppa the Belligerent. And it looks like it starts out with Brian Cowan here.

Maybe there wasn't a toss-up, and maybe you're drumming up controversy for i don't know clicks or something i'll roll with it because i'm a team player i'm like i'm gonna quit nitpicking everything that's being criticized right now but i don't think you're saying negative it sounds to me like so let me get what you're saying i said i said i went i went hard in the paint but also but let me get what you're saying let me just stop you and say your face bro you're saying. I said, I went hard in the paint. But also, but let me get what you're saying. Let me just stop you and say, you're saying,

dude, I'm a rabble stick right now. Well, you're a rabble rouser. I'm a rabble rouser. You're a rabble rouser. I'm all rabbled up. Yeah.

I'm all bunched up. Now, here's the thing. You're basically, it sounds like you're saying this. I'll answer back, but it sounds like

you're saying this. It sounds like you're saying that Kevin Holland did not Spartan kick, comes out to my up in the chest. You know you fucked up, right? Because it's Homsat Spartan kick. Yes, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Comes out Spartan kick.

You're saying that there wasn't a toss up. No. Not that bad. It wasn't a toss up. There might have been words. Sure. Travis Brown had one. Okay. Roy Nelson bad. It wasn't a tuss up. There might have been words. Sure. There's words everywhere. Travis Brown had words.

Okay. And Roy Nelson had words. Here's my question. They didn't shut the fucking fight down. Now let me ask some questions. Can I ask a question though? Yeah. If everything I'm saying

has no truth behind it, why so mad, bro? Why so mad? If nothing ever happened, I would have dealt with it if I'm him. If I'm him, I have $400 million in the bank. And Mickey Mouse in my house. The thing that I hate is like the,

hey, bro. What are you doing, papi? That thing is, date a Mexican girl. Like, no one talks. It's like, there's like a character in Shob's head that's Zorro. It comes in. Say it like that antonio banderas yeah it's like i'm like antonio banderas with uh who's just been hit too many times too many stunts in the zoro movie

i actually watched this whole episode you did yeah oh because the dana thing yes yeah there's so many moments in this episode that are fucking hilarious as far as like you know the whole shop thing goes yeah but uh it's also infuriating it's like it was hard to listen to the whole episode because uh shop cuts callan off so much and callan's the best part of that show he is yes i've never watched it and i don't think i've only seen edited clips which make me laugh thank you tfk yeah i mean i can't i can't see myself watching them two of them talk for a long time well if you look at it objectively you'd be like callan is the stronger member of this show oh yeah well i mean a guy off the street would be

this fucking yodelanda would be that that's a reference no one will understand but uh there's a point in the show where brendan says oh fuck i messaged it um with the vocabulary thing skeptical hippo eyes brendan says oh do you put do you want my vocabulary with some seltzer what does that mean i? I don't know. It blew my mind, though. I mean, he's inventing a new language, which we all like. We all like to walk to our trugs. We all like blog bussa.

Yeah. I've started telling people in public, get this man an apron, which makes me laugh. That's not even shop. Yeah. I was at a dinner party the other night, and somebody who there, it was his house. He knew that I'd do shop stuff and there were literal real people there, like non comedians. And he was like, Hey,

I'm going to put on gringo poppy. And I was like, no, don't do that. And he put it on and the two of the people left. No, what shop said was, uh,

you know, Dana needs to be more creative with this insults. You know, can I get a little bit of vocabulary with some seltzer? I don't have any idea what that means. I have no clue. I guess he's asking for a chaser? I don't know. He's probably drunk off the Thick Boy

whiskey, you know? That stuff I've heard is pretty strong. You should buy some. If this video gets 20,000 views. We already did 20,000. If it gets 40, we'll drink Thick Boy whiskey on it. Why would they want us to do that? All right.

So this one's called, I'll never ever talk shit about Dana White again. Yeah. This one makes me laugh because it's just like, he said this before talking shit. Like he said, I'll never do it again. And then he does this whole thing that you saw.

I'm sure. The whole episode was about Dana White. Really? Yes. All right. Well, again, um, no Joe Rog. All right, well, play.

No Joe Rogan, which, again, I said something companion. Do I know exactly what happened? Sure do. Is it my story to tell? Nope. But when it comes out, you're going to love Joe Rogan even more for missing that one. I'll say that. I'll say that, man.

And you'll also love Dana White even more. I will never, ever talk shit about Dana White again after him going to bat for his guys. He's just a real one. He's a real one. You might not like me, but I like him. Well, I mean,

he fucking, he's he says the stupid thing about Rogan he's got all the stuff in the back that he's trying to make a serious point with a gigantic Air Jordan behind him and whiskey and stuff and then not only does he say I will never talk shit about Dana

White again he says after that he's a real one he's a real one which you think is like you know you're saying that he's really good a really cool's a real one, which you think is like, you know, you're saying that he's really good, a really cool guy. Yeah. Like a good dude. And then this thing where he just shits on him and has a whole episode about him and calls him a moron and all that shit that you've already seen.

He's just mad over Randy felt face selling out more tickets. I was just thinking about Randy felt face. Cause it's like, it's like he sponsors the show with the purple color scheme, dude. Yeah. We're a little, we're a little color scheme dude yeah we're a little we're a little bit like uh we're a little uh randy felt face randy felt face you know randy felt face is as fuck and then this one is from no jumper and it's like six months ago he's talking about dana

white i guess i think so yeah i think it's like a similar type thing but i can't remember i used to be dude when you know people have chips on their shoulder i still have fucking stack of pringles against dana white right it's all good now thank god he made some of those choices he made that you know the reason i left the ufc and i'm grateful for him now is it really all good or are you just kind of like accepting like whatever it's in the past i'm just gonna not care about no it's all good you have had conversations and shit no oh no but i've literally i think being a dad and just where I'm at now, you know, like fucking Andy Dufresne from Shawshank Redemption,

I crawled through some shit. I'm in Mexico, man. You know what I'm saying? So I look back and I'm like, oh, it's all good. Right. You know what I'm saying? Like I used to be. He's like, I'm like Bruce Willis in Die Hard.

I'm like, what? Andy Dufresne. And then the T-Fat K went off on the Andy Dufresne shit I'm sure there's probably tons of things of him coming out of the sewer and like Schaub shit okay so this is the one where Schaub talks about Dana White on stage

I haven't seen this yet have you seen this? oh okay I haven't seen this yet alright here we go Dana White hates me for no reason I did nothing dude how dare you for those of you that don't know he called me a fucking dummy and i'm 39 years old you're sassy i can't just lay down like you're right like you can't do that dude it's not nice why would you get so like it's crazy that he's so

famous that he can just go out there and he says that so dana white doesn't like me like and then people understand what he's talking about and then he calls me a dummy yeah you are dumb like everyone does that yeah you dana white's not the only person what the majority of people think you're stupid he's and then he, I'm 39 years old. I can't just take, when you're 39, that is the age where you can just take it. When you're 15, that's when you're getting mad about stuff like that. 17, 18, like you can, well, 17, you can get into a fight and maybe not go to jail. At 39, if you're really angry about someone calling you a dummy, you are a dummy. That's moronic. People call me stuff on the YouTube.

I'm not like, well, I'm 35. I'm not going to take this sitting down. I'm going to find who this person is with a fake profile picture and knock on their door. You're not 39 yet, dude. Yeah, when I'm 39, though, we better watch out, comment, call mentors. Call mentors.

If my theory on UFC 279 is so outlandish, I'm 39, though. We better watch out. Comment. Call mentors. Call mentors. I'm so upset. If my theory on UFC 279 is so outlandish, I'm so mad, bro. He's doing it again. You know, we got that one friend who's a little too aggressive when he hears people being gay. Oh, yeah. He's like, what's, who yells that? Yeah. Right. And he thinks it's funny.

He says that he thinks somebody be like, Hey, you're a gay. You're what does he say? Yeah. I forget what it is. What's up, gay boys? What's up, gay boys? That's hilarious comedy to Shab. And he has to say, I'm not gay. We know you're not gay.

You're the only person who's worried about that. You think everyone thinks you're gay? I think. Yeah. Right? You're the only person that cares about this. Every clip, there's someone is secretly gay shabbat so stupid he doesn't he's like he doesn't know basic things about himself

he's not she's like i think i'm straight i mean i have sex with a woman i like it but i don't know man sometimes i like pants that feel good what What? You all right, man? Jesus Christ, bro. I'm so mad. I'm so mad. Wait, he didn't wear a mask all pandemic, right? No variant. He's like, I'm not a mask guy.

And then monkey pox is taking out the gays. He starts rocking a mask. You know how I know you think dicks are delicious? Pause. Yeah. This is when you really hope that there's laugh track added. Like you can't, people are laughing at that. When monkey parks, when he said,

when monkey parks started taking out the gays, the gays. What is this? I'm just like, I'm worried about a comedy crowd laughing at this at all. They're so fucking stupid. You know how I know you think dicks are delicious? Yeah. It's just awful.

So bad. For the few haters, they're like, you're gonna make fun of Dick wearing designer jeans and wearing cool shoes. Look at you, dumbass. I'm like, you're gonna make fun of Dana wearing designer jeans and wearing cool shoes? Look at you, dumbass. I'm like, yeah, bitch, the difference is, I've been a fuckboy since day one. I came out the womb a fuckboy. I was born a sneakerhead, you feel me?

If mine and Dana's relationship was a movie, it'd be Shawshank Redemption. Listen, be evil warden. I'm Andy Dufresne, y'all. I'd call you some shit to get away from that, man, and get to where I'm at. You can't root for the warden. Who the fuck roots for the warden in that movie? Fellas, you want to test to see if your girl is right or not? When you leave here tonight, put on Shawshank Redemption.

And when you watch all this through, look at your girl and go, what do you think if she goes? That's good. What? No one would ever say that. Pause. You know what he would never do he'd be like tell your girlfriend to read the book to kill a mockingbird i don't know like there'd be no reading ever suggested by shot it's all movies and tv shows yeah i'm imagine what kind of quite like what kind of question is that do you watch the uh shawank Redemption with your girlfriend? And if at the end she says, it's pretty good, but I like the warden. What does that even mean?

That doesn't make any sense. I can't really recall Shawshank Redemption, but what does the warden do? Trugshank. Is that Trugshank? Okay, yeah, I remember. uh what does the warden do trugshank is that trugshank oh that okay yeah i remember the warden he keeps andy in prison because he like is worried that andy's gonna like maybe rat him out or sorry even letting him out because he's andy's been like helping with taxes and stuff so he just keeps him there he has a chance he has this guy who's these are all spoilers for

but uh he like kills this guy that's going to help Andy get free so I don't know if that's a real apt comparison either I don't think I don't think Dana White

has killed anybody for to keep Schaub in the UFC if anything he probably wants Schaub to leave the UFC

alright so the suspense is killing me here get study up bam some people think it's the greatest TV series of all time what do do you think, babe? It was good. I wish the

White Walkers won. You know what I'm saying? Serial killer. Fucking serial killer. Alright, nobody ever says that. No, dude. Nobody agrees with you. You know what, though? I kind of did wish the White Walkers would have won. If anything,

if anything, dude, I think that Schaub is the White Walkers of comedy, right? He's like anything he touches is becoming worse. Podcasts, people are trying to escape. Theo Vaughn was worried he was going to get turned into a White Walker staying on King of the Sting. Brian Callen is literally a White Walker to women. I don't know. Allegedly.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Damn, dude. Is there more clips? No, that's the last one. Fuck. All right.

Clear walk. Then I get my clear walk. Thank you for tuning in to another Tim as a shop. Hope you do have an announcement, though, too. Well, I just wanted to let everyone know I am a fan of Brennan Chubbs. OK. Hey, look, it's not that i unlike some of the youtube comments i don't care what people watch on the thing i am not you probably tell that from watching the 10 minutes i do every week making fun of them so

hey look controversy ensues on Raccoon Tweety's. Tune in next week to see if Gerardo's still a fan. And join the Discord, y'all. Join the Discord.