10 Minutes of Schaub - Brendan Schaub LOVES Ethan Hawking, B! | 10 Minutes of Schaub #49

Episode Date: May 3, 2023

Forty Ninth episode of 10 Minutes of Schaub

Walk me to my truck, babe, tell Kalilah too, Esther goes both ways, babe. Seven times a week. Seven times a week. I'm redacted. One take. All right, welcome back to 10 Minutes of Shob. As always, join the Patreon if you want. Join the Discord. Everything's on Spotify.

Like and subscribe. But that's not why you're here. Play the chain clip. All right. So the first clip is the long-awaited sequel to The Redacted War. This is posted by LevonTR. It's called The Redacted War Episode 2, The Roommate Gadooshing at Fort Glass. Negflix.

Good music. Yes. flicks and music yes in the cold winter of 2003 tensions were growing between tent mates at the colorado military outpost the ensuing battle would be responsible for the homelessness of untold thousands lieutenant dan writes home to his family about the mounting tensions would be responsible for the homelessness of untold thousands. Lieutenant Dan writes home to his family about the mounting tensions. My dearest mother, oh, how I miss you. I received your biscuits, and they remind me of home. Brendan's been eating my rations again. I don't think it's an accident. Dispute over parking continues.

I strive to be the noble man you raised me to be but i fear that confrontation is inevitable your loving son daniel p.s give my sister a kiss from me meanwhile the sister also delivered news from the first time he's like just the picture of the sister makes me laugh because it kind of looks like the guy. Yeah. As a man. I'm redacted though. Brendan to his family. What up, Jay? Roommate's still a bitch. I think I'm going to eat his food and trash his stuff for fun.

Maybe spit in his face and see where that goes. Oh yeah. And I told his mom to fuck off. It was hilarious. I'm a good storyteller later bro p.s keep my comic shop open pause it keep my comic shop open so i didn't know what that was at first but it's like a real old cut from when he when i knew about the comic book store from the interview with rick glassman but the did you know why there's old guys? No. So apparently he said during that,

that he was selling comic books to old dudes, like really old guys, which is obviously not true and weird. Why would you, a child be allowed to sell to old men? But yeah, that's what that bit means. That's so strange.

Then one cold, fateful night, tensions came to a head. Brendan blamed Dan for the work of vandals and declared battle. The first maneuver was to remove his shirt, followed quickly by an artillery volley of saliva. Dan hesitated to take up a defensive posture, and by the time Brendan's charge reached him, little could be done.

Gadouched through a glass door. The battle was over before Dan fired a shot. To make matters worse, Brendan went on to spin the narrative in his favor, slandering Dan's good name, sending Dan on a wounded retreat home. Though he may never know, thousands have been defending his honor for years, drawing attention to Brendan's many misdeeds. Shout out to Levon for the special thanks. Oh, yeah, that's very nice of you. Yeah, obviously thank him.

Still to come in the redacted war. Yes, yes. I found a bird in the backyard. It flew into a wall I'm granted I need a new one These are great. Yes.

Hi, Shane. Hi, Shane. these are great yes hi Shane hi Shane shout out dude shout out to Levon dude these are amazing mega Dan um but but beast of animation I wish I could do stuff like that

yeah with the spit going I want to figure out how to do that that would be funny just the spit what about all the all the other all the other going, I want to figure out how to do that. That would be funny. Just the spit? What about all the- All the other animations. Sometimes like AI stuff I find annoying, but the AI in that and then the AI on Chang's

is usually pretty funny when they make Bop a fat or eating something stupid. Yeah. I enjoy it. Shout out to Levon, dude. We don't matter, but this series matters to me. A lot better than when I tried to do the song about the roommate. Remember the Bob Marley song? Got gadooshed a little bit.

Yeah. So well done. Well done. Yeah. You know, that story, not always Netflix as told by others. But we're also recording this a week early because we got a lot of scheduling conflicts for the next couple weeks. So I'm looking forward to episode three. Hopefully it's on

next week's episode. It's a week early unless you're in Australia because you know you're seven days a week or seven days ahead or whatever. So then it's like two weeks early. I don't know. I'm not a numbers guy. Be neither calendar man. All right. All right. You fucking read act.

All right. So this one's fucking read act. All right. So this one's called doesn't know the difference between Ethan Hawk and Stephen Hawking posted by cruel lamb TNS. I saw a lot of Chang stuff about this. It was pretty funny. Photoshopping. Steve Colbert asked you the other post. I don't have them ready to go here,

but I've seen those other posts. Yeah. They're like Photoshopping Ethan Hawk's face on the Stephen Hawking. Yeah. I'm trying to, here's Stephen Hawk've seen those other posts yeah they're like photoshopping ethan hawk's face onto stephen hawking yeah trying to here's stephen hawking here's here's uh stephen hawking here's ethan hawk here he goes steve colbert asked he goes ethan hawk what happens when we die it's his question pause it what do you think baba's gonna say i already know i think it's going to be eight inches. It should have been eight inches. Oh, it's not, damn. Question is, what happens when we die?

Bring up Ethan Hawke's answer. It's pretty cool. It was awesome. Yeah, I definitely saw it. I fucking love it. Do you do it in the robot voice? No. Oh, my God. I'm redacted.

So that's why. Is he doing the robot voice? Oh, my God. I'm redacted. So that's why. Is he doing the robot voice? Oh my God. Yep. Jeez. It's not just that he gets the people wrong. He gets the people wrong in the funniest way possible. Yeah.

If he did it on purpose, it'd almost be genius. Ethan Hawke, Stephen Hawking. And he doesn't say, oh, like the scientist. He says, does he do the robot voice? Like the most insensitive dumbest question to ask he's like trying to make a joke isn't it funny that stephen hawking has this disease or whatever kind of like that's the bit he just he really can only comment on what's the what you can see with your eyes like what's right in front of you is what

shab is able to talk about i I mean, imagine being Ethan Hawke. Stephen Hawking, though. It's not the same thing, huh? It's really far away, too. It's really far away. I was going to try to say, like, if it was Ethan Hawking, you'd probably get a lot of jokes about being a paraplegic. Imagine having the last name Shab, dude. What do you mean? Like, if my name

was Gerardo Shab, and I got to just live with that? That would suck. Yeah. He's ruined the last name Schaub. Not unlike he destroyed part of the Spanish language, Ringo Papi. He's also, no one was going to want to be named Schaub. Yeah. Oh, you're like, like Brendan Schaub. That really, that guy, that's not funny.

We should just go to the yellow pages and call everyone with the last name Schaub and be like, is Brendan there? It's so funny. That's a good point that you brought up that the names are really not similar at all. They're like, you have to, there's no a to B or there's no a to C with shop.

It's only a to B or, or a to what, where did he get that? Yeah. I'm an eight, a shop is like a to the letter, the number seven. You're like,

what? These aren't, these aren't connected at all. If anything with shop, we're going to get a 27th letter. You know what I mean? Oh, really, dude? All right, here it goes.

The next clip is posted by Hank Moody, 1022. It's called, Had to Bring Back This Old Dish We Pedestrians Could Never Understand. Awareness. A comic's brain is so different than a pedestrian's brain. And like, what? You know, like, I can't help. Pedestrian is so funny, by the way. That drives me crazy.

It's like, we're not in the fucking armed force. Let's fucking relax. Any person on the street, I respect more than even my favorite comic. And with that note, I... Oh, I disagree. There's no shab in that, but there are two murderers or two of the only a thousand that can do it well he's not one of our guys is he who burt staff i don't think he's

one of our guys maybe not i don't know i like how you don't know some shop isms i would which one that when they brought up stavros on the t-fat k K, that's what Brandon Schaub said. He's like, that's not one of our guys. Oh, that's what you're talking about? Yeah. Oh, I never knew that until now. Damn. It's funny because I told you this on a podcast before. And I didn't listen then.

And am I listening now? Who knows? Your last name should be Schaub. I know, basically, yeah. Anyway, so the next clip is posted by Mad Shibs. It's called Call Median Uncle Laser laser gadush's boppa in front of ringside judge toe rogan toe scores it 10 7 so before you play it i've seen i haven't seen this but i haven't seen this clip but um i love people with like stage names we've talked about on the

regular pod uh uncle laser sounds pretty great and i've seen it on a regular pod. Uncle Lazer sounds pretty great. And I've seen it posted a lot. I just never clicked play. Had a great time at New Year's. Yeah, you did. You had a great spot. You did a great stand-up comedy

Saturday night here. Sold out. Chaos. You were all dressed up. Felt good. Yeah. What'd you rate it? How'd you rate it?

On a scale to Brandon Schaub to 10, what'd you rate it? Killing Redman. Redman gave like the Green Goblin laugh. He loves it. I like how much Redman likes Schaub cat material.

He's clearly homeless. I enjoy watching him be homeless. He's one meal. For a guy that's been doing it. He's still going. How long have you been doing this? Five months? Five months.

Five months. Yeah. I will say it was, I give it, I give it for Brendan Shaw. There we go, baby. Everyone laughs. Rogan laughs. There he goes. I'll have to have you on the secret show Thursday.

I'll be there. It's going to work. Everybody knows. Everyone there is laughing at how bad Shaw is at comedy. Rogan laughs there he goes I'll have to have you on the secret show Thursday everybody knows everyone there is laughing at how bad Shab is at comedy imagine even the guitar people

and the piano person yeah the whole stage is just laughing at him and Brennan's like oh I don't pay attention to any of it but these are your friends

yeah you're not listening to what your friends have to say this is I can't imagine being in that situation. I'd be like, well, I guess I'm not a comedian. I'm a clown. He is a clown. At least Brendan is

doing his job. This is the job of a clown. Whether you do it on purpose or not, whether you like are one of these very skilled, talented clowns and you know what you're doing, you're making a fool of yourself and people enjoy it. Or you've reached a level that Shob has where he's essentially doing the same thing as a master clown and he has no idea. Yeah. Is there really a difference? Because we, as we've said many times,

actually enjoy watching Shob. Yeah. So I don't know. I don't know. It's interesting to think about, I think. All right. So the next post is by FLC Locust it's called That's Assault Brother I know in my current life

I have friends like Brennan Sheeb what is it? Shab shame on you that guy Brennan Sheeb is a fucking pussy and I'm going to say that out loud now and fuck that guy

you're not really fucking breaking news there. Oh god. I love you so much. I'm joking. Come on. I'm only serious. Man, more of the same. Just like everyone laughing at him.

Everyone knows that he sucks. It's also important to say that that was probably made like two years ago. Right. Before the whole thing. Yeah. So you always have to wonder, is there a little bit of truth to what people are saying years in this case? Yeah.

There's truth. I feel like the timeline of that is also before they stopped hanging out or no, maybe right after they stopped hanging out with each other because of the, the text messages between their girls. Oh, right, right. When he was trying to, I mean, yeah, maybe Bobby was saying that after the shop slid into the DMs and tried to get a little bit of trug walk. Yeah.

Before the trug walk. Yeah. The prequel to the trug walk. Yeah, dude. Okay, well, this next clip is just the Ethan Hawking on Colbert, but they do like this thing that we might have to cut out here. Oh, okay. But it's RondXX. It's called Ethan Hawking on Colbert.

Steve Colbert asked, he goes, Ethan Hawke, what happens when we die? It's his question. It was a good question. He goes, what happens when we die? Bring up Ethan Hawke's answer. It was pretty cool. It was awesome. Did you see it?

Yeah, I definitely saw it. I fucking loved it. Do you do it in the robot voice? Ethan Hawke, what do you think happens when we die? I don't think there'll be ever understanding of the divine concept of time. Do you do it in the robot voice? I'm a beast of an editing job.

Yeah. These guys are clever. Yeah, thank you, RhondaXX. What's the book that Stephen Hawking wrote? Something Time? Or something Time? A Brief History of Time. Oh, okay.

So if Ethan Hawke, how could that be A Brief History of Time. Oh, okay. So if Ethan Hawke, how could that be? A Brief History of Time written by Ethan Hawke. Gattaca. Not worth looking it up, Jim. All right. Well, this one is just a poster and it's posted by Root MAC. It says,

shout out to my buddy Bone Fork for this masterpiece. And look at that thing dude wow that's good he's got the mr whole foods thing in there yeah yeah dial's a little different at night we'd fuck each other it's like a chocolate chip with salsa all over it the mexican cookie yeah i think this should have a part two oh the next week yeah? Yeah, next week on the Gringo Poppy posters and then it has a bunch of things. Well, yeah. Shout out to Bone Fork for that.

Great work. Great work. Thank them. Never seen them. This next clip is posted by Unsolicited Prolapse. It's called Papa Calls the Comedy Mothership Gay.

I'm going to hate on it because Rogan hated on my name on the whiskey. Let's see what this is about. What do you guys think of the name? You know what? I didn't like it at first. I got to say it's growing on me.

I'm going to hate on it because Rogan hated on my name on the whiskey. It was Tiger Thick. Great whiskey, hate the name. Great club, hate the name. I thought when I first heard it, I was like, comedy mothership. Wouldn't you say it enough? But yeah yeah it kind of grew on me man like it's like when a new expansion team comes nfl you're like carolina yeah that's gay he's yeah that's the clue i remember that from uh we were looking at him he's dressed like a

like overgrown kid he doesn't like the name. Interesting. He does do good names. Gringo Poppy, Tiger Thig Wigski. I mean, well, good that it makes us laugh. I don't know if I might want to buy it. Yeah, that was the episode of him as a redacted Mr. Rogers. Oh, that's right. Yeah.

That's right. That's right. You know, what is that? Prolapse or whatever his name was? It makes me miss shit or throat splitter. Oh, yeah. Where's that guy? Weapse or whatever his name was. It makes me miss shit or throat splitter. Oh, yeah. Where's that guy? We're missing your clips, Papa.

I like having Gerardo have to read that name. He looked like Mr. Rogers with salsa on it. That's very good. Very good. You're right. Looked like Mr. Whole Foods to me. Okay, so this next one's posted by Siphon on Filterer. It's called Big Brown Throw Bag.

Would you rather make out with Ronda Rousey or Misha Tate? Misha Tate. Or Big Brown. Rasta was sitting like a fish. I'm on a mission to get it done. Misha Tate. How about me? Four women have accused the host.

Four women have accused the host. Get out of that room. You're not safe. No, thanks. Yikes. Oh, my gosh. Man, Bop was trying to get trug walks even back then. Yeah.

Always. That seal team thing, they're trying to get in there, Whitney. Here at TFATK, we use the buddy system. If walking to your truck, make sure to have a female

accompany you. Otherwise, it's gay. Yeah. at tfak we use the buddy system if walking to your truck make sure to have a female v or a female accompany you otherwise it's gay yeah yeah dude they they really need like a sexual harassment meeting at thick nation oh they'll never die they'll never if the sexual harassment meeting at tfak will just end up being a bunch of gay jokes by the end of it yeah 100 and also you before the meeting starts, they'll have to be like, all right, Brandon,

Brandon, he's like pissing in the sink. Okay. So our first thing we got to talk about is can't show your penis to your employees. Yeah. That's one. What?

That's gay. He's like, if I can't piss in the sink, throw me in jail. Yeah. We'll get, we'll get buff. It was not really all those movies that say where you get butt fucked in jail.

You actually don't. You actually don't. No one gets butt fucked. I didn't know that, Brent. Well, I read it on like this tweet from some guy. Yeah. Here we go. All right.

Our favorite. Yeah. I listened to this whole episode earlier today of Joe Rogan with Joey Diaz. He's going to talk about Brendan. Brendan Schaub. From what I heard, they never mentioned Brendan, so I don't know what this clip's about, but it is a lot of Joey Diaz talking about

back in the day, back in 88, though. Where are the cocksuckers? It's Monday, it's Tuesday morning, everybody. Today's going to be your day. Wake up, cocksucker. Grab your dick by the balls. Play the chin clip. It's posted by chowder stash and it's called quote nobody funny i think i had a fucking you know who shows to an open mic on a lamborghini nobody right nobody's funny you know nobody shows up to an open mic

on a lamborghini let me tell you something it's not a shot at Brendan but what you gotta do is DraftKings.com okay cocksuckers if you wanna make a lot of money have a lot of fun

you gotta get by I'm gonna lose my voice again you show up to the comedy store in a Lamborghini you're still gonna have to suck my dick for 10 minutes in the belly room okay

7 days a week okay oh really dude, really, dude. Oh, really, dude. It's the 90s. Well, shout out to Siphon on Filter. He has got another clip for us here. It's called Boppa Goes on an Addy-Induced 40-Second Narrative Without Taking a Breath. I think looking at your performance, you know, I followed your career since day one, man, even before the UFC.c what was all that let's see none of that was english i think looking at your performance you know i followed your career since day one man even before the ufc you being a high altitude guy and i remember you coming in there as this lanky basketball player and then i mean jesus christ you're the best in the world life is crazy man life is crazy yeah i remember you walking in like it was yesterday. And just like, holy shit, look at that kid.

And then Christian, even then, was like, yeah, he's athletic, man. He's a basketball player. You know, he's a basketball player. White basketball player, dude. He's going to be athletic. And the next thing you know, you're one of the best in the world. But you look at your fight with Chido Veer, and you're probably exhausted talking about it after doing Rogan for three hours.

And side note here, have you ever talked to somebody in your life for three hours, dude? No. Man, it must be hard to do an interview, dude. Oh, my God, dude. Just word salad so fast. He's like Gen Z slang meets brain damage meets Adderall. And then there's a lot of low-key. I low-key met you when you first started your career.

Say less, man. I was like, damn, this guy really gets it. You know, he's not mid. He's ready to crush the competition, man. Right? Yeah, yeah. What? If I told you I know youth slang, would you believe me?

I'm low-key. I'm an oil man. I won't sell you any mid-oil. Just that flame, Papa papa i'm riz i've abandoned my i've abandoned my period t i don't know i'm this is cringe i've abandoned my ufc career i told you i was cringe i was cringe okay so this one's posted by pitied king kajo it's called papa blames his reviews on reddit of him speaking and it spit out an hour-long stand-up set by by a pitied King Kajo. It's called Boppa Blames His Reviews on Reddit. And it spit out an hour-long stand-up set by Tom Brady, and the person that I know that listened to it said it was

good. It got better reviews than mine. God damn. It didn't even. Reddit didn't go bad on it? It's crazy. I mean, it's just insane. They even did it with The Weeknd and Drake. They took all the music they do, they put it into chat GPT, did a song, and it's just insane. Well, they even did it with The Weeknd and Drake. They took all the music they do. They put it into chat GPT, did a song.

It's a banger. And then someone posted it, and it's so good. Brennan talks to chat GPT, and chat GPT responds back, are you okay, sir? Our system thinks that you should dial 911 to get an ambulance. The first part of that, though, I think that was funny when he was like, it got better reviews than my special. I think that's a good riff there.

A broken clock is right. But then he breaks it by saying he got Reddit to go fucking... He could have laid the good joke, but then he blames the special on Reddit review. But it's like, no, dude, Reddit is not the reason that your special got shit on. It's bad.

But then he subconsciously tells us to put his transcript of both his specials into ChatGBT so we can get endless Brendan Chobb jokes. Oh, that reminds me. I was talking to Sean McCorkle a while ago, and he sent me a ChatGBT script that he put in about Brendan Chobb. It was pretty funny.

Maybe we should put that on somewhere. Ask Sean if he wants to. I don't know if he's ever posted it, but it's like a whole thing about Brendan Schaub was pretty funny. Maybe we should put that on somewhere. Ask Sean if he wants to, I don't know if he's ever posted it, but it's like a whole thing about Brendan Schaub. I can't remember like his life and all that. It's pretty funny. But yeah, dude,

we can get a gringo poppy too, without even asking Brendan. You know what I mean? That's true. You could just ask Chet TBT to do it. I wonder if anyone's done that. Yeah. There you go.

Post it on Changbee. Yeah. Post that on Changs. All right. So this next one's posted by MasterCheft. It's called, If the CTE Turned Bapa Into a Good Person. To all my thick boys out there, daddy's got an important announcement.

Oh, God. I will be auctioning off all of my vehicles, all of my luxury, sports cars, all of them, and the entire proceeds will be going to the Humane Society for Rescued Dogs all across the U.S. I want people to know I read every comment. I treat every comment as valid feedback and criticism to help me get better and improve. If I'm just 1% better each episode, if I just make one extra viewer happy each episode,

man, I feel complete. That's all I live for, brother. Hey, real quick, B. When we have women courageously speak their truth and tell the traumatic stories of their abuse, and then people don't believe them, dude. Like, what are we doing here, B? I'm telling you, man. I'm telling you.

We need to believe women. We need to empower women. This ain't like 1832 anymore, B. Women today, they will light you up when I tune into fox sports or when i tune into espn and i see they have a panel of all black people bapa that hypes me up in every facet for sure give these diverse voices the opportunity to speak i'm so balls deep in the perspectives of marginalized communities b what else you got chin actually you know what before you say anything dude i just want to sincerely apologize to you for injuring your neck I know

you said you got the injury from auto tectonic asbestos nation but Jesus Christ dude we both know it was me I hurt you brother I'll never do that again let me make it up to you B the work Ethnic put into that clip is pretty impressive

yeah I can use like one of those every week just let us know that maybe Bapa's nice, dude. That was a great deep fake. He took all the stories and made the narration for it. That was really good. That would be like, if Bapa said that, that'd be like something on one of those Now This

clips. Like, listen to this guy speak. Like, retweet this or whatever. That'd be like a viral Twitter. Woke Bapa viral Twitter woke Bapa Bapa is a good character. Yeah. If I told you I believed in liberal politics, would you believe Brendan shop is him?

Okay, so this one's very long so it might get cut out of the YouTube due to Ben pixel stuff, but it's called Bapapa hating on rinks. Little kid. It's posted by playful Wolverine 95. I've been making them work out with me and I make them box.

So it was so good for him because when they were doing all the exercises and stuff, it wasn't a big deal to me. I was like, I kept saying that to my ex. I was like, just let me do this to him so I can get him used to this. Yes. If he likes it.

He loved it. He liked it. That's good. Loved it. The kids were great. You know know it's a great most of them should be yeah most of them should be in there it's just really cool man he's going how many times a week he wants to go three times a week that's a lot what a question to ask dude he's throwing out a little bit of catnip for tmos there yeah. For a kid, but no. No.

I mean, I think it's standard. My son's seven goes four times a week. He does? Yes. Yeah. Well, he has other sports. He does track and swimming and all that. Swim tiger.

Yeah. Three's not bad. Yeah. Two minimum. If you're going once a week. Two minimum. If you're going once a week, don't do it. No, I agree with you.

No, if you're going once a week and it's like. I think every day. Jiu-jitsu. No, that's me. Every day, if that's what he's passing. Just track I agree with you. No, if you're doing once a weekend, it's like, here's jiu-jitsu. Every day, if that's what he's passing, just track, right? Yeah. He's white, so let's not do that.

You know where that leads, right? Or do I need to educate you right now? He's also... Okay, now we predict again. Where does track lead when you're white? I'm thinking being gay. The Olympics, dude. For sure that he's gay in some way.

Yeah. In any facet. In any facet. Do you have any other guesses or are you all in on gay? No, I say Olympics. I think he's going to. You say Olympics. Yeah.

Yeah. Why is the Olympics bad? Because it makes you gay. Because you don't get paid. Oh, that's right. He's always thinking about money. He's a numbers guy. Sure, sure.

So let's see what the answer is. Dad and mom's fast-switch muscle. There you go. Now, daddy's all right. He's not going to win any sprinting matches, though. No, no, no. So track, let's ditch that, right? Unless it's long distance.

We don't want to be a long distance runner because that sucks. No, long distance is cool. No, it sucks. What I mean is that the sport, it sucks. But if you like to run, it's great. I know, but as a sport, it sucks because I don't want to watch it. All right, so both wrong. What he was going for there, I think, is that he's saying that black people will dominate

because they have this fast twitch muscle. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it was racism. And he does go, that is like secondary to gay, is black. He does go there. So that's like the second. We went from A to B instead of going from A to C. Yeah, so the hierarchy of marginalized communities,

what's worse, gay? Gay is worse, I think. Or at least he brings that up more. Yeah. Yeah. He'd rather his son be black than gay. Also, he's dealing with two pulled hammies from racing a black dude. That's right. He's traumatized from losing to

Chappelle. He knows firsthand that racing. In Baba's mind, if it happened to me, it would happen to Callan's son. Yeah. No girls. You can run a mile faster. You can run 10 miles. But just show your son a video of the Ethiopians running the long distance. Cross country.

You're not from Kenya or Ethiopia. Right? So we're not going to be. Badal can be the 100 meter. You will? That's not happening. Let me show you the Olympic. Let me just show you.

Well, his coaches are. Instead of pause, we just say trug walk. What if he had a trug diary at an Ethiopian trug or Ethiopian food? If Usain Bolt came on a food truck? Jamaican. He's like, I got you this Jamaican beef patty and these pair of shoes. He's like, I'm vegetarian. I don't eat this shit. Let's see.

It looks opposite of a Trump rally Our black gentleman who happened to be Olympians And They're like well let's run the track You know what this comes down to I'd see your son I'd go do you have fun Even though you're coming in dead last

Do you have fun My son is going to be doing Jiu Jitsu I believe in getting into the sport that makes you feel good about yourself. Yeah, get some wins under your belt.

Get some wins under your belt. Because you can get a certain level in that track game. Now, my boy's tall. Where did Bill

and Greg go? My boy's got a... Oh, Bill and Greg hit the books. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, my boy's got long arms, long legs,

a tailpiece on him and broad shoulders. He's athletic. He picks up on stuff real quick. Very, very coordinated. So jujitsu might be okay for him. I'm optimistic about that. But boxes very well.

Can turn his body. Hits really great. All that coordination is good. Yeah, you have fun. Right? Because you're going to be a professional. No, no. I'm going to be a boxer.

I like it. And listen, I'm high on my kid too. They're talking about their kids a lot and like what they can do someday. Yeah. I'm like, I don't know. It's weird. It's weird to think about that on a podcast because, you know, people are going to now watch it.

Like the homeless cats are watching. And all you're doing is talking about your kids. It's like almost like i wouldn't want to talk about the kids i don't know yeah blockbuster yeah your kid different comes from a different different different right i don't want to do this man you're putting your kid against my kid right now there's at least uh three times in the last week when i was doing stand-up i want i did say it once but where i said different on stage dude and i was like what are we doing here

dude i think it's fun to say it on stage like the first time i like walsh hadn't done stand-up in a long time and i went to see him and the first thing he did as he walked up on stage he's like what are we doing here boppa and no one knew what that meant, but everyone laughed. Yeah. Because it's just funny. It sounds funny. But when I'm being like not sarcastic whatsoever. Oh, yeah.

And saying like, you know, it's different for, I'm like, oh, what am I doing? He's ruined the word different, like just like Gringo Poppy. And I just try to work around it. How do you work around using the word different? I think it's funny to be like different. You know, I mean, he does that, but that's also essentially stolen from NBA talk, you know, right. They're kind of like that guy's

different. Also that's how he does it. Yeah. Shout out to Alfred Robles. He had me on his show, sold out show in Bellflower. Nice. And on stage I said dicey dicey. See, it's fun. Yeah. This lingo is like stuff you can just use on stage, use it at work. The lowest part of the set though. Oh oh no nobody in there is a bunch of latinos so they don't know what the fuck dicey dicey means i just think it's funny even if you don't know though it might have been the crowd no it was definitely the joke and definitely me saying dicey dicey uh it was not the crowd fair enough yeah you know sometimes your blockbuster sometimes your neck yeah let. Let's see. You're out of line. Dude, he's seven. You're out of line. He's seven, but who is he rolling with in jiu-jitsu?

Bigger kids. But how old? I'll put up my three-year-old, right? How old is your kid? You're seven. Wait, are you talking Tiger for you? Right? I didn't want to do this, Brian Kelly.

You saying Tiger is taking down 11-year-olds? I'll tell boss to start hydrating right now. Okay? You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful.

You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful.

You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful.

You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful.

You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful.

You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful.

You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful.

You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful. You're being disrespectful. Sandy's son's getting pitted against some bigger kids. Older kids. He can't go with kids his age. Can't go 10 or under. Can't go 10 or under. Is that true? We've had to change the schedule. Is that true? Doing different days, yeah. Man.

It's good and bad. He's got a neck on him. Oh, dude. It's good and bad. He's got traps on him. Brian Callen, it's funny that Schaub loves animals so much because to me, Brian Callen is somewhat of a zookeeper. Yeah.

Because I think that Schaub is kind of like zookeeper. Yeah. Because I think the job is kind of like, I imagine you're the person at the zoo and you're watching the gorilla walk around and the gorilla does something funny and you're like, ah, it's a funny gorilla. And the gorilla's like, whoa. You know, that's the relationship they have. Callen is a guy that has to watch a gorilla

like every once in a while say or do something that's kind of like, Oh, that's funny that he did that. Yeah. He doesn't understand anything. Here's a banana. Good job.

Are you okay? Don't anything bad. All right. Thanks for tuning in. Joining us. Join us next week. Bye.