10 Minutes of Schaub - Brendan Schaub LOVES FISH! | 10 Minutes of Schaub #34

Episode Date: January 27, 2023

Thirty-fourth episode of 10 Minutes of Schaub

I gave my dog away and got a fish instead. No room for the tank. What are we doing here? The comments hurt my soul Even though I've never seen Try to drink it all away But I remember everything How I couldouche my dog, my sweetest friend. Every pet I have goes away in the end. And I'll gadadoosh them all My empire of pets

I will put them down I will make them hurt One take, Papa. Stop at my favorite time of the week When you get to hear Papa try to speak One take, Papa. Stop at my favorite time of the week. When you get there, Papa, try to speak. Release surprises today. You better actually watch 10 Minutes of Shop.

Welcome back to 10 Minutes of Shop. Hope you had a great week. Join the Patreon. Shout out to everybody who did join the Patreon. Look at you guys. Look at you guys. Okay you guys okay mr whole foods but that's not why you're here you're here for 10 minutes of shop so start the clip now and also we got a new sign oh yeah one quick sorry before i start the timer uh thank you to whoever came up

with this the only person i remember off the top of my head saying timos is uh armando diego So if it was you that came up with it, thank you. But anyways, that's not why you're here. Let's start the timer now. So typically we just do video content here, but I thought this was particularly funny. This one was posted by Neil Bench, and it says, this has got to be the most uninviting thumbnail

I've ever seen in any facet. And then it's that. Look at their faces. They're so sad faces they've been through it man they just read looks like they just read some comments they just check social media i guess they and they've also done hours and hours of podcasts probably yeah this is right after food truck diaries and whatever maybe brian has a uh his sandal podcast or whatever it's called the flip-flops it looks like brian's thinking like oh my god did brendan really buy a gold chain like that dude you know he's thinking what all these people are thinking i'm trapped my

own actions have trapped me in this timeline with shab i never will be able to get out i've monetized my life I thought that was funny and then so the first clip today is posted by no cauliflower 4577 it's called open mic or calls out brought Bapa in front of the undertow gets props okay chaos you were all dressed

up so good yeah what'd you rate it how'd you rate it on a scale to Brandon shop to 10 what'd you rate it? How'd you rate it? On a scale to Brandon Schaub to 10, what'd you rate it? For a guy that's been doing it. For a guy that's been doing it. How long you been doing this? Five months? Five months. Five months.

That's like a crush by a thousand paper cuts. That bit. All right. I don't know if that was worth it. It was not worth it. I will say it was, I give it, I give it for Brendan Shaw.

There we go, baby. This wasn't good. There he goes. I'll have to have you on the secret show Thursday. He's going to work it out again this Thursday at the secret show. There's a new minute from Uncle Laser and like that to the bucket we go. Yeah, man. I mean, Boppa is a

good punchline. Yeah. We've seen that. We use Boppa as a punchline frequently. Yep. So, good work, Open Mic'er guy. Yeah. Funny, funny stuff. Neg flicks, dude. Neg flicks. Alright, so this next one's posted by Your nude gene which

by the way we're back at the original studio dude you know what i'm saying we're at my apartment for a little while oh yeah yeah yeah we're back in my house over very close and gp um so i think like there was probably one comment there's like hey i know i'm being uh blog buster here but i like the old view better so for you that one guy, here's to you, bud. Here's to you, B. This one's posted by YouNudeGene, whatever. It's a lot of letters. It's called Brendan Slobfish.

Update on the fish. My addiction has gotten way worse. It started off with one tank, one 30-gallon tank, and then it just reignited my passion for fish since I was a kid I used to be balls deep in fish as a young boy and then it just opened up Pandora's box

into this fish world and it is deep I like the little added feature of the hat it's a Cleveland Indians hat hat's very good he has the Chief Wahoo hat, which I think they discontinued it.

You can't even get that hat anymore. So he must have had that in his hat treasure trove. He's balls deep in fish, I guess. The gold chain, the flannel shirt, dude, it's all good. It's all good. That is a crazy thing to say, that you're balls deep in fish. And then when he's like, deep, I wonder if that was on purpose. Like the ocean and whatnot.

Baba's always thinking. His comedy is on another level, B. Yeah, he has the, I wonder if one of the clips you're going to pull up is the one where he talks about, I don't eat fish anymore. He's a real colmated genius. Oh, we did that a couple of episodes ago. Oh, we did? Yeah. Damn, dude, I'm redacted.

I hate to be extreme here, but I don't eat fish anymore. You order calamari around me, especially after I get an octopus named Eddie. If you fuck with and you eat an Eddie affiliate of mine, I'll fight you.

The Irish came out there. I am balls deep into fish. In any facet if i see fish i'm all like hell yeah look at you fish look at that people are like fish hell yeah all right So this one's posted by X Anarchy Camp X. It's called Bruce Springs beings. No, no, no. The category is Bruce Springs beings giraffe. So I don't know if that's something he's ever said.

Bruce Springsteen, but spring is a cuisine. I think so. Yeah. That's one of the names. I think he messed up. Okay. Bruce Spring Spring. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh yeah. Spring Spring. You're right. Sorry. So it's called the gadushening. So I thought this would be fun. one of the names i think he messed up okay bruce spring spring yeah yeah uh oh yeah spring spring you're right sorry uh so it's called the gadushining so i thought this would be fun it might it might have a song in it so it might mute it uh post okay we could just comment on the people in it thank you for doing that chin yes sir the roommate yeah yeah he could douche him through a window. Evan the Baird?

I don't know who that is. Probably an old podcast person. Special K? Don't know who that is. This might be from the era that you didn't watch. Agent A? No clue. Yeah, you got to fill us in, cats.

Dog? Dog, yeah. He's been getting rid of dogs left and right. MJ, that's what I was listening. Intern, right? Josh Woof. Stand up. I don't know that guy.

Mike Catherwood. We'll have to ask Axe J about that. Derek. Derek Poston. He wrote some of the Gringo Poppy, apparently. Paris. I don't know. Malik B.

Amen. Amen? Is that a child? Oh, man. Shrimp? Not only could Malik... Backflip. Because he does backflips on stage.

Cat, of course. Great actress. Never seen her. Great actress, never seen her. Hot chip. I don't want that. I don't want that. Cat, of course. Great actress. Never seen her. Great actress, never seen her. Hot chip. I don't want that. I don't want that. Perfect inclusion.

Chompy's. Chompy's. I will never understand why. And Tank. Oh, man. Damn. That hits me in the feels. Yeah.

Brings a tear to my eye. I can't talk. That was great. So Malik B, not only is he not allowed to talk about social issues, but he's not even given a name. A was great. So Malik B not only is he not allowed to talk about social issues, but he's not even given a name. A-Man. A-Man is even more ridiculous because it's Malik B.

Where does the A come from? We're redacted so we don't know. I think they're just saying a man. Like this is just a man. Oh, maybe. We'll have to check the ultimate streamables. I'm sure we'll get comments B. Yeah, the comments will tell us sometimes, sometimes the comments are like, Hey, this is what it is.

Other times the comments are like, how dare you? Yeah. It's like a head chef stepping in dreadful. I've never seen this kind of work in my life as a chef. I've never seen the comments. So that's true. We don't read social media.

Yeah. Yeah. As we, as you know. This one's called, this one's posted by Warren Tates one. Warren underscore Tates one. It's post, it's called a liar, liar remastered. So here it goes.

When I say I didn't hang out with Chris, I'm saying I didn't hang out with him because the times I saw him were at the comedy store our relationship was comedy store oh really do you think that and when we were

it's work right it was always work what's important is that we haven't spoken to Chris no and

we've never been we've never been on the road with him I was on the road with him about 14 years ago once when he was just beginning but I've never been on the road with him. I was on the road with him about 14 years ago once when he was just beginning. But I've never been on the road with him.

So I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what to think. And I don't know. In the light of that clip where Brandon is like, I thought we were going to fight. Yeah. I thought we were going to. And then it's just them being like, we've never even met him.

Yeah. Like, honestly, we don't know who the guy is. Nothing in this universe ever ends up making any sense though because there that clip comes out and then now chris is on their podcast yeah the golden hour as if nothing happened yeah and we're still waiting on our 300 pages of evidence b yeah where are the monster lawyers and where is the tiger belly email it's like never there was that one i don't know who did it, but they had the skeleton that said waiting on 300 pages of evidence.

It's pretty good. Yeah. All right, well, this one's posted by, you know, love him. Rogan is shorty pie, dude. Oh yeah, classic. I mean, this show could just be called 10 minutes of Rogan is shorty pie.

Yeah. It's called Gaming with Mrs. Schaub, The Experience. Rogan is shorty pie, and I'm sure this has been said before, but Rogan is shorty pie is that white boy that worked too much and i don't know if his wife but you know you know what i mean rogan is yeah what what up where where's up this is up i'm that's walking for me yeah dude straight you boys on the spectrum huh i don't know how to get it. I don't really.

There we go. Got it. Yeah. Now, are we doing this like the real Twitch and we can use the N-word? This is my daycare. Oh, I needed it inverted too. I know you're really into it. Sorry, man. I'm trying to whoop their ass.

This is my daycare as a young boy. Here we go. Oh, this theme song. God, these graphics suck. God. But how do I get the gun up? This is my daycare as a young boy. Here we go. Oh, this theme song. God, these graphics suck. But how do I get the gun up? Oh. How do you... I don't even understand.

Holla at your boy. It's so funny he's wearing the hat. Yeah, he still got on the Wahoo hat. Wahoo hat and talking about saying the N-word, not the best of looks, right? Also, he's not that much older than us, and he doesn't know GoldenEye? Yeah. That's crazy because that's like the only thing that we would do when we were kids. Every day.

Every day, in any facet. That was the number one game. You go over to whoever's friend's house or if you had an N64 and you play that. Yep. Hmm. 100 B. Hmm. All right.

Let's see what else happens. Call out your boy. Brendan's looking at us. How do you select the gun? Do you have a twitcher? Yeah, this is not the same. Oh. Not the same. He can't help it.

These controllers. What's up? What's down? Eric, so you can find me on Twitch. Yeah. On a real system. How do you get the gun to work? How do you get the gun to work? How do you get the gun to work?

Am I right? Nah, dude. You're not. Oh, my dad gave me a 12-pack of Dr. Pepper and was like, play Goldeneye, bitch, and it's paying off now. I have daddy issues, but man, thank you, dad. Yeah. I mean, for us, is this

having fun? I'm having such a good time. I'm having the us, is this having fun? I'm having such a good time. I'm having the best time of my life. Pause it for a second. Oh, it's over anyway. Yeah. I mean, I wonder if he's not even playing. He's so stupid that they're like, all right, just pretend like you're playing when you're, cause like, I remember when I was a kid, I was really bad at the, I think I had the clarinet.

And so we're all supposed to learn a song for a recital. And the teacher came up to me and she was like, listen, we're going to do the recital, but you don't have to play it if you don't want to. You can just pretend. You can just pretend to blow into it. And that's what they're doing. Someone else is playing for him because he can't understand how to do it. But he's still super into it, licking his lips.

Yeah. Well, you know, he has to act. He has to act. Do you think he's, are they doing a Twitch? Is there a Brendan Schaub Twitch? No, I believe that's just the YouTube T-Fat K episode or a Golden Hour episode. Because Brendan Schaub Twitch might be kind of funny. Oh, yeah. I would love that, dude. Yeah. YouTube T-Fat K episode or a golden hour episode. Cause Brendan, Brendan shop Twitch might be kind of funny.

Oh yeah. I would love that dude. Yeah. They got to start pulling clips off that. Let me see if I'm playing video games and not understanding or like playing a basketball game, but saying football stuff. Yeah.

Yeah. He's like, I'm playing Madden. And then you see, or you see like LeBron James. Let's see here. This is them playing Goldeneye, I guess. Right somewhere here.

There it is. Who's upper right? Me. Are we doing this like the real Twitch and we can use the N-word? No, no. How do you change guns? Okay okay here we

go oh this theme song god these graphics suck anyway so that's the king of references so it's them on golden hour playing uh golden eye wow golden hour golden eye content b yeah yeah so this next one's called smart move it's a clip of a brendan shop talking to mark normand it's posted by eternal postal and the people talk i mean look at reddit reddit is just a big sewing circle full of dweebs and incels and they get together and they start clamoring and then boom you got a hit agree man no i think it was smart brother uh how's everything have you seen have you seen your reddit it's fucking terrifying no people are nuts i stay off of it man i stay off and i just read it now i stay off and hopefully do you read them you read all that shit i have and it boy i had to i

had to turn my lights off close the blinds and get in a fetal position for three weeks so it's so painful yeah yeah i don't know, man. Yeah, I don't look for validation from guys on Reddit, fortunately. Smart move. Take that, cats. Yeah. Papa doesn't need to have you guys think he's cool. Yeah.

He knows he's got his inner coolness, okay? Do you guys have that many hats? Huh? Do you have cool? Do you have a thousand sports jerseys? Could you be a comedian? Are you brave enough to go on stage and say that magic Johnson has AIDS? Okay.

In between all of the seven podcasts you do and you ride in comedy. Yeah. Do you have Rogan and shorty pie? Do you have 12 podcasts? Would you be able to eat a taco weird? Yeah think about that or you at pf chang's cooking orange chicken yeah you're uh you're freaking homeless and you're a cat okay why would we even care about you that's such a great clip he's like they're homeless why would i even care about them what are you the mayor of los angeles be cool brendan shaw be cool

all right so this next one listen i don't know if brendan took extra alpha brain this week but there's not a lot of brendan clips right okay for this week in uh t-fat extra alpha brain or too little kratom oh yeah true yeah happy hippo or whatever it's called little it's 25 day cleanse off the you know right he might not be sleeping on his Helix mattress. Maybe he's spending too much time at the studio. Maybe he's trying on MeUndies. Never check your social media before bed. Yeah.

Because of the calmness, B. So that being said, this one's posted by XIIT. It's Sam Hyde and Nick on Bert Kreischer and LA Comics. So you have to be careful. You can't ever... They can't ever let Bert Kreischer see this. See these guys video clips because he will die from laughing.

So we have to shield. Because Bert Kreischer is a fucking loser. We have to shield Bert Kreischer. Sad pussy. Can you look up Bert Kreischer laughing real quick? We have to shield. I fucking hate LA comedians. I don't need any friends. I don't need to make friends. I don't want any fucking, I don't want to talk to any of them. I don't want to go on their fucking shows. I don't care. Suck my dick. We have to. I'm the Providence Rhode Island. You want to hang out with us? That's cool. Have a pizza together. Other than that, stay in your

fucking lane. I don't care. It's like a bizarro version of me and you. Yeah. I'm like shitting on some random comedian. They better not see this. And then you're like, you do a whip it because you're not sober anymore. Come to fucking Island Park, all right? Come to Island Park if you want to fucking see me. There's no parking here. I don't know how you're going to get here, but I don't need any goddamn friends. HLP, baby.

Come to Providence, Rhode, but I don't need any goddamn friends. HLP, baby. Come to Providence Road. I don't know. I think Sam's funny. I don't, is that, do you know anything about, is this co-host or? I have no clue what that is. I know that they have a cool set.

That set is pretty cool. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, whatever. But also too, it's not a Whippet. It's a oxygen tank. Oh, what does that do to you? It just, you can buy them at

walgreens or something it's just like a little hit of oxygen it actually like we should probably try dude we should try it out for raccoon tweeties because then it'll clear your mind you like you think better and stuff okay it's funny that we're just doing a thing about sha but there's been so much like references to drugs like we found out about kratom and like everybody like every week there's a new comment like kratom is actually really good or kratom and like everybody like every week there's a new comment like kratom is actually really good or kratom is bad and then and then now we're gonna have oxygen people coming on the thing listen i don't care i don't want to know don't tell me about oxygen i'm not interested brandon drinks two muskule mules and dresses like a leprechaun

yeah that was for my work hour party most of the time i'm completely sober on this thing or am i no all right so this one's really fast it's probably the quickest clip we've ever had on here but somebody got video evidence of boppa getting rid of tank in front of his hero too so um it's posted by pube tornado pretty cool name yeah that's good all right let's see this is really fast you might miss it but let's see you ready okay you saw that you saw that i don't like seeing oh it hurts me a little bit but it's very funny that's tank and bopper right there wow they have video evidence of them doing it that's fucking that's wild right caught right-handed dude yeah if you look at the proportions it's like a man that's like roughly six two throwing up a dog that's roughly too big for kids akane corso yeah yeah the right way to

pronounce it papa you give me shit earlier well show me the marion webster dude all right their dog names and marion webster how did you know that that's how you say it then because a guy the guy on youtube said that, like some dog trainer. Oh, and people on YouTube are always right. Don't read the comments, B. Whatever, man.

Look at you guys. Look at you guys. My co is a goddamn rattlesnake. What do you think of Hulk Hogan? Do you like him? Yeah. Yeah. I mean,

I don't like everything about him, but yeah, I liked him a lot as a kid he's funny what about hulk hogan versus jesse ventura who's your favorite i mean when for wrestling stuff like i wasn't really aware of jesse the body of ventura i really only knew hulk hogan when i was a kid i only knew jesse after he ran for governor you know yeah but he's pretty funny yeah he said He said something about like Irish people.

He's like, they're all drunk when they built the railroads or something. He got in trouble. It made me laugh. So, all right. I just wanted to check in on you with that. This next one's posted by fake Onan.

It's called just some tribal urges. B I like the title. You're good. Look at what happened. Thanks buddy. Bill Martin. Oh, look at this. We're going back to that again. Well, no, no, what happened. Thanks, buddy. Bill Maher took a look at...

Wow, this is... We're going back to that again. Well, no. No, he was just saying... He's my sponsor. I'm going to be buddy building. That's all. And you got some strong hands.

And I'm going to keep my hands to myself. He's like touching his thing. Unless I get the go ahead. This is shocking. A glance. A comment. You got some strong hands. Just consententing adults.

Jesus. I know. His hands roam, man. I want to file a formal complaint. It's taken me a while to come to this conclusion to understand this. I believe that the Me Too movement

is one of the most important movements of my lifetime because for the first time in history, it gives me recourse against the abuse of power. And that makes the world a better place. And that is not a political statement. That's just

fair play. When it comes to being a little strange, Brian's going to keep you busy. This is some weird shit. I didn't know. The second video that came up as a head, I've seen that video. I've never seen the first one.

Are we talking about consent? Consenting adults? Yeah, yeah. That's so weird. Yeah, he really has never thought about, planned out anything in his life with Brian Guy. He's just kind of like, content, content. There's just going to be horrible things like this every time.

Anytime a scandal happens, there's going to be a video of brian being like whatever the thing is doing it so crazy yeah anyways so this is the last clip of the day which on the subreddit the fighter and the kids subreddit i find it hilarious whenever a post is nsfw and it's just clearly not nsfw you know what I mean? But you know what happened with John Jones, right? Recently? No. Well, Francis Ngannou was let go. Kicked out of the UFC, right? Not kicked out, but he just didn't resign.

Yeah. No. Yeah. That's what I meant. Because they didn't give him enough money. Yeah. So now they're setting up John Jones versus Cyril Ghosn. Oh, I didn't know that.

Yeah. So March 4th, John Jones, Cyril gone heavyweight championship, but this is called, I know you're trying to use emphasis brand flakes, which I believe it means Brendan, but maybe get someone to walk you to an ambulance after the pod posted by guess who? Rogan is shorty pie dude.

Rogan is shorty pie needs a handler dude. Here we go. If Francis on one leg can out grapple Cyril Ghosn over five rounds. What do you think John's going to do? Easy money.

Easy. No one should ever take financial advice or betting from Shob. He said that Shob said that, I remember from the beige frequency, Shob said that Conor McGregor was going to beat Floyd Mayweather in boxing. That's the craziest thing that he said, maybe. Well, that's also when he got in a fight with nate diaz it was over that yeah well he was trying to convince nate diaz that he won at least three rounds it was after the fact oh geez yeah and also mario lopez lopez under yeah underwear

lopez lopez yeah shout out to bone ck he's in the beige frequency stuff. He's in. Oh yeah. He's been commenting on the disc. Also shout out to elephant, right? What elephant graveyard joined the M and Ryan Joseph were on the, right. Joseph, one of the live streams.

Hopefully we're not darkening their names. They're like, don't put a Nick. We're not one of our guys are great guys. Never met him to the also too. I wanted to say to the audience before we finish here, that one of these Thursdays, we're going to live stream the gringo poppy on twitch if you guys would be interested leave a comment below letting us know um we're going to set that up somehow and one last

plug the patreon uh pretty soon we're going to do the gringo poppy i'm going to just basically do the gringo poppy at different venues in la and record it and all that. So that'll be on Patreon for a while if you want to see that. Do you have any shows coming up? Look at you guys. I do have some shows coming up.