10 Minutes of Schaub - Brendan Schaub LOVES PRIDE MONTH! 🏳️‍🌈🦄 | 10 Minutes of Schaub #55

Episode Date: June 14, 2023

Fifty Fifth Episode of 10 Minutes of Schaub

Anyway, truck walk, truck walk, truck walk, Annie. Anyway, truck walk, truck walk, truck walk, Annie. Anyway, truck walk, truck walk, truck walk, Annie. Anyway, truck walk, truck walk, truck walk, Annie. Anyway, truck walk, will you walk me back to my truck? There's a moron on a thumbnail trying to fuck you, a real dumbo, Annie. You won't believe on this podcast, there's a cockroach on the the carpet then you run into his co-host in his toe holds it was your doom anywhere truck walk truck walk truck walk any anyway truck walk truck walk truck walk any

anyway truck walk truck walk truck walk any who the hell is? Who the fuck is? John Africa. One take. Welcome back to 10 Minutes of Shop. Thanks for tuning in. Like and subscribe. Rate and review. Hit that smash that like button or whatever it is. Everything is on Spotify.

Join the Patreon if you want. And also, following up on last week, if we get 1,000 more subscribers, Gerardo will not. Actually, unless we get 1,000 more subscribers gerardo will not actually unless we get no a thousand subscribers gerardo will not we'll be joining louder with crowder but thursday we are gonna do a farewell live stream on youtube at six o'clock pacific standard time six o'clock los angeles time we're going to go live on YouTube Thursday. Around 6. Around 6, yes. To be safe. Because I will probably get here at 6.

But yes, we're going to do a live. We've never done that before. Live. Yes. Right? So you get to interact with us and watch us watch the clips. Which would be very cool. Or clips, or what are we going to be watching? Okay, Lentric, but that's not why you're here. No. You are here to watch 10 Minutes of Shob,

so start the timer now. Play the chain clip. All right, before we get to the first clip, I want to say that you guys should subscribe to Brendan Cooney's channel if you haven't already and follow him on Patreon because he's dropped a lot of money to get equipment for his own place

so that he can make the show just as good as it was before me. Yes, I'm extremely redacted. Yes. I want to keep this going. I, uh, I'm not a numbers guy, but I did drop a lot and we're, you know, it's going to be fun. I don't matter, but yes, subscribe if you can. Uh, anyways, let's, uh, let's get to the, we don't matter. Uh, this one was posted three years ago. I don't think we ever watched this one. Did we like, I was filtering through the clips. I mean, I've seen it before, but I don't know if we've watched it on the show. Yeah. It's called Harvard Comedy Professor

on the Fine Arts of Stool Humping posted by BetterChef 1127. Get on up! And by the way, when you see someone moving around like that on stage, I will bet you every penny I have they're not funny.

Stuff her in the corner of the couch. Oh, fuck. Is that the equivalent of a guy stool fucker? Shah has kind of an elitist approach to comedy. It's quite interesting. He likes bars, he says. He likes jokes. He doesn't like stool fucking.

How does this work? When he calms his whole body just to rock. Anytime I saw someone mime and having sex, you know, pumping air, I would just go, not funny. No. It was just like it was a sign of like. But what if there's a bit where you have to mime pumping air? Stool fucking, if it's the right bit can be funny

really it has to be it has to be a real comic with a real reason to fuck that stool there has to be something to it

why do you do that it looks dumb alright this is just being gay that's all ass in the air that's it

there's gotta be a bit pumping air yeah but you mean like screwing pumping? Yeah, some bits. But who doesn't know what that looks like? Why do you need to pump?

Maybe there's a reason. It's going to be something. Unless like you're imitating someone having a heart attack pumping. Oh, no. That's retarded. That's fucking stupid. And most of the move around people are pushing it. Just oversell shit by physicalizing what should be just funny the way you say it.

Dude, if you're ever taking any comedy advice from Jeff Garlin, like, look at yourself, B. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's bad. It's dark. It's dark days. Mr. Flappers himself. Yeah.

Old Jeff. A little bit of a Tweedies crossover there. Yeah. Also, too, hump the stool, dude. Who gives a fuck? I mean,

what I'm thinking about watching this clip is the person editing it. Yeah. And they put it together and they're just realizing how funny it's going to be. And they play, they finish it after laughing a lot while making it.

And they're like, I think this is funny, but I wonder what, and they show it to their friends first. And their friends are like, this is going to be big. This is huge. Yeah.

Don't show this to everyone yet. Yeah. What are your thoughts on humping a stool? I mean, it could be funny, I guess this doesn't, none of this, if I'm being honest,

looks like it was. No, let's be honest. It's not black and white. That's all I care about. Yeah. It could, there is a scenario in where it, let's be honest. It's not black and white. That's all I care about. It's not black and white. There is a scenario in where it could be funny.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And all I got to say, dude, is find the scenario. Hump that stool, dude. There's nothing funnier than going to an open mic and watching another comedian hump the stool, dude. Yeah, it's funny. I mean, ironically, it's funny, too.

There's probably some irony humor that could be made. Dude, I have a joke where I hump the stool, dude. Yeah. You guys are making fun of me? I mean, him doing this is funnier than Tig Notaro dragging the stool around. That's not funny. Yeah. Name the waters, B.

Next week, 10 minutes of Tig Notaro. You know who the best stool user is? Who? Cat Williams, dude. That's what I was thinking. Doesn't he have like stool bits that are funny oh yeah yeah so there you go he's a master classman at using a stool and maybe he does hump it too but you know what i'm saying if he could do it you could do it does he use a stool when he does the grocery store like the every time i'm hustling yeah he does i can't remember if he does

or not but that's a great bit but also one of my favorite jokes of all time is when the chrysler 300 pulls up to a phantom you know you think that the you bought the chrysler 300 because you thought it looked like the phantom until you pull up to the motherfucker and then he spins around he's like he's i don't even want to be on the street man it's a good bit yeah love it all right let's keep going with this stool humping here, dude. I'm penciling right that shit down. Bitch! Bitch! I'm trying to think if Eddie fucked that stool. I imagine nobody fucking no stool, bro. See, I like Eddie.

I like Richard. I like Chris Rock. Bless you. I like Chappelle. You know what I'm saying? I like people that have something to say. All that stool fucking is like, eh. I would never disrespect a craft like that.

You don't have to disrespect it. You would just have to want to do it and then try it. Oh, my God. If the content is about your physicality, that's not dancing. Right, right, right. Dancing is when you put, like, English. Like, when you're doing this to accentuate what you're saying. It kind of reminds me. Screw that.

We don't need that. He reminds me of, what's like, screw that. We don't need that. He reminds me of, what's her name that was doing that? Remember when we watched the 1,000 Comedians? There's only 1,000 that can do them, and it was like, we could be heroes just playing in the background. What's her name? Whitney Cummings?

Whitney Cummings. She basically was doing the same kind of crappy dance sex moves, sort of like the calling card of sort of hacky shit. Yep. Yeah, that's what that looks like to me. But Joe Rogan's full of energy, dude. He's older now. He's probably not going to hunt the stool as much.

Right, right, right. Joe's a great host. He's got some great podcasts in the chamber. But the stand-up, I don't know. Never been one of my favorite stand-up comedians. One time I saw Dave Chappelle at the Comedy Store.

Yeah. And he was drunk and kind of doing open mic stuff, but it was really funny. And a lot of it ended up being the stuff that was in some

of the Netflix specials. But anyways, at one point, he was bragging and he was like, who do you think is the best comedian that's ever done? He said, who's better than me?

Name one person who's better at stand-up than me. And somebody was like, Joe Rogan. And looking back on that, someone said that's crazy. Yeah. Yeah, and he was like, Joe Rogan? I mean, Joe Rogan could beat me up in a fight maybe. He's like, or Joe Rogan could beat me up in a fight. That's what he said.

But yeah, not his strongest. But you don't have to like, I mean, you know, you know like a great comedian when you see him, dude. Yeah. When it comes to stand-up comedy, B, you know the greats. That's true. George Carlton, Dave Chappell. Dave Chappell, Jay Orkison.

Jay Orkison. He's pretty good. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Joe Rogan, he's a comic. He's a great at podcasting. You know what I mean? He Joe Rogan, he's a comic. He's great at podcasting. You know what I mean? He's a great podcaster.

Maybe the best. Some would say the best. But he's nowhere near one of the worst stand-up comedians. No, no, no. No. No. But this is just funny. It's showing him at his worst.

Yeah. Because I remember the first time I watched Joe Rogan live, the first time I watched Joe Rogan stand-up, and I was like, this guy's amazing. Really? Yeah. But this is before I did comedy. Right, right, right.

Yeah. Yeah. Anyways, I think there's a little bit left to this clip. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm not that funny, man. I need some help. Thank you. Shout out to Brendan Schaub.

I really do appreciate what you do for comics, though. Well, I think that's one we never watch on the show so it's cool to watch there you go yeah let's see i think there's another one like that no or posted by fake conan it's called calabasas comedy companion i want i'm just curious like so you get an idea and i know there's no real... You guys talking about the Santa 2024? That's my favorite one. Bye. Biscuit sandwich?

Mexican sandwich. Hey, Chris. Hey, he's drunk. Hey. Hey, Chris. Hey, he's drunk. Hey. Hey, Chris. All right, fine. Can we get some real comedians? No, no, no.

I can't talk. I can't talk. That's crazy that he gets that drunk on the podcast. Yeah. You know? That reminds me of this friend I used to have. They were like, oh, when you start talking like that, I'm like, okay, he's had too much. I hope he goes to sleep soon. Yeah. You know? That reminds me of like this friend I used to have. They were like, oh, when you start talking like that, I'm like, okay, is that too much?

I hope he goes to sleep soon. Yeah. A bit much. Hey, Cruz. Hey, hey. Hey, Cruz. Right? Yeah.

Right? No one knows what you're talking about. Yeah. No one knows who you are, B. And then to just loudly say something about DeSantis to your friend on the podcast that thousands of people are going to watch. You didn't mention DeSantis 2024?

Like, no one wants that. No one wants that to watch. You didn't matter to Santa 2024. Like no one wants that. No one wants that B. But you know what though too, when they get drunk, they don't talk about numbers and thumbnails and all these things. It's entertaining for us to watch. We like it.

Yeah. It's bad for them. They look bad though. Yeah. It does look bad, but audio is King. So you can't look at it. Fair enough.

Yeah. They just sound bad. Yeah. All right. Let's go into the clips for this week. Posted by highlightlight Numerous, it's called Bapa Loves Pride Month, example of him being a nice guy. I'm all about Pride Month.

I texted Ryan this morning, hey, it's Pride Month, suck me. Yeah. Yeah. I said, be respectful, dude. It's their month. Do your job. I said, do you still have sugar in your mouth?

You still have a little sugar in your mouth from sitting on the couch in slippers, sucking Twizzlers while we were bringing laughter to the masses the only reason that doesn't work is i can't eat candy i don't understand what brian is saying at all at least i understood shop's bad yeah classic joke yeah i told you to be gay with me man because it's gay month dude boner alert boner alert that would have been better dude if you would have been like we all know it's pride month boner alert yeah yeah that's a good one yeah we all know it's i'll do it well we all know it's pride month boner alert you still have a little

sugar in your mouth from sitting on the couch and slippers sucking twizzlers while we were bringing laughter to the masses the only reason that doesn't work is I can't eat candy. Right? Those days are gone. Oh, you don't even know. Because the old teeth are awful. Yeah, I haven't ate sugar. When are you going to Invisalign, bro?

Never. Your two front teeth are really coming down, huh? No. It's like... You can't eat candy? Yeah. Because he's an adult, he's saying? Yeah, I guess.

I don't know. I disagree with all of what I've seen so far. Unless he calls Addie's candy and he's trying to quit them, you know? It does sound like, Baddie's and Addie's sounds like a kind of candy that you'd eat, doesn't it? Yeah. Yeah, I got this band. The catcher's like, what do you got?

Well, it's water. It's Baddie's and Addie's. You have problems. Yeah, I don't know. Also, too, it's like you got to be on this wavelength to listen to this right because this is kind of boring so far yeah they've gone from pride month suck me off to you know we were doing comedy and you were eating candy on the couch and then he's like i can't eat candy and so it's like a bad improv to you know they're both going for the gay angle i

think because brian says you're sweet or eating sweet stuff, and I think that's like, you know, how people say sugar in the tank or whatever. So, so far, it's a battle of wits by two comedic geniuses over who's gay. We don't know who's won yet, B. Boneriller. If I said I was gay, you'd believe me, wouldn't you? All right, let's see.

No? I like your... Hey, you look no different. Go like this. Those are great. Your two front teeth are... You're turning into an overgrown rabbit. And I said it and I don't give a fuck.

I'll take it. Somebody give him some fucking carrots. I'll take it. Cause you look exactly the same. Talking teeth, B? You must wolf through cats. You've got your lids done. You've got your hair done.

You've got your teeth. Who said your hair done? You went to the ear doctor. I got your hearing. Your hair done. You're talking about men on earwaves. Okay, you couldn't hear me. This, dude.

You saying I had plastic surgery on my head? You've had plastic surgery twice. Three. Well, you consider, you consider in design plastic surgery. Fuck you, dude. I survived, I've had technically three procedures done.

Your lids, your hair, your teeth. My hair was a long time ago and it didn't take hey when he comes out of trans when are you going to come out as trans what that's all you can say sometimes I'm not a very good poster child

for plastic surgery no it's not working when are you going to come out as trans what are you supposed to even say and then Brian's like, what? Yeah. And then, oh, yeah, plastic surgery. They're afraid to go there, B.

Wow. Yeah. Name the waters, B. Very bad. Who listens to this, dude? Seriously. Yeah, who's watching this and being like, man, this is great. Boggles the mind sometimes.

When it gets like that, deep into the redactedness. Like, recall that clip without saying one or the other. What in God's name happened in that clip, right? That clip is like what you'd see before they play the Hitler clip, you know, and then whatever is happening in the Hitler clip is that clip, you know, and then whatever is happening in the Hitler clip is that clip, you know? The sergeants are describing that clip to him. He's taking off his glasses.

They said what about trans people? They both pretended to be gay and then talked about teeth. Anyway, let's go to the next one.'s from the same episode so i'm sure it's gonna be a lot better right uh it's called rinks is out punt god is in for the cow bass companion this weekend posted by all i do is lie to you great cow bass fight you paying this saturday no brian brian's a pussy uh this sat This Saturday, UFC 289 is going down. You got the schmo.

You got our boy Matt Ariza. You got Pauly Shore and myself. Tune in. That's 7 p.m. live, UFC 289. Cowboys Fight Campaign. Thick Boy YouTube only. Okay, kids. Love you.

Enjoy the month. Just giving up at the end. Cowboys Fight Campaign. Brian's a pussy. 7 p.m. down. And Cowboys Fight Campaign. See you then, fight your pain. Brian's a pussy. Seven pound damn. And Carl Bassett, see you then kids. All right.

I also like how he does this with the mic. He's just like, fuck. He's just like, come on. Brian's packing up his stuff to go to the ladder to Crowder. All right. This one was amazing to us.

Oh yeah. The song is really bad. Yeah. This is terrible. I don't even know if it's going to remain in the episode yeah because i could get it could yeah you know yeah bent pixels b it's posted by deep waters great name dude it's called still can't believe eric was ran out of comedy for making this although he does have a better voice than clint let's see. Brendan is a thick boy. That boy big as fuck. Tell me why you're so thick, boy.

Don't you work out enough? You got to pay me to make it, boy. Imagine listening to this in the gym and your headphones get unplugged by accident and other people hear that you're listening to it in the gym and your uh your like headphones get unplugged by accent other people hear that you're listening to it oh my god you hit the pause button really fast yeah you don't want anyone to hear so did i say brandon is a thick boy and like a sexy r&b voice dude

someone's like are you listening to montez rap hold on it gets the whole gym are you dude this guy's listening to montez rap oh man you gotta go you can't be here you have to leave crunch now get out yeah yikes and that planet fitness plays on the speaker system you can't ever get a gym membership canceled you know they make it very hard to cancel. But the second you play this, this is the way to get it canceled. They're like, you can go. We don't. Please leave. Yeah.

Yikes. Do you want to hear more of it? Sure. Let's do it. The truck. Ain't even though we give you shit, boy. Shit, boy. Gonna walk you to my truck.

Yeah. Let me tell you about the thick boy. Right around the city making big noise. Small city, king of the big town. Truck diaries with the big brown. Like 10,000 sedatives. Boulder alert. Somebody that's better than big brown.

Pound for pound. Right around town. With the cray down. Row pouch in my mouth. Traps around like me now. What'd you say? Favorite shoe on the shelf. CTE can't stop my dog. Tiger Thick Wix.

Okay. R.I.P. Tiger Thicke. We've heard rumors. It's no more. Oh, do you want me to go to that one? Yeah, we'll get to eventually. We'll get to that one eventually. Spoiler alert McGee over here, baby.

Daddy. Spoiler alert. That needle's not touching this temple, daddy. Fat guys are like, fuck that. Doesn't make sense. I wasn't. All right. So this one was the best clip of the that. This makes sense. I wasn't. All right. So this one was the best clip of the week.

Uh-oh. It's posted by Alfalfa McNugget. And it's called Theo throwing strays at Diddler on new episode of JRE. Okay. Dicey, dicey, B. Boom. Boom, roasted. Like a 20-year-old adult or like a 30-year-old adult?

It gets exponentially creepier. If you just graduated and you're 18 and your girlfriend is 17, that shit is completely normal. But if you're 19 and she's 17, people start to look a little sideways. That extra 12 months makes a big difference. If you're 20 and she's 17, people will get very upset with you. Even in places where it's legal, where it is legal in a few places,

which is kind of weird. Yeah. And if you are 35 and she's 17, you can't be a comedian anymore. Are you sure? I don't know. I don't know. Who knows? I don't know.

Who knows? It's weird like what's legal versus what's okay like dude that was funny but when the clip where Sasso is like

I don't know what's going on with them I think they might be in Costa Rica that's like one of the funniest things I've ever heard I think Chris and

whatever live in Costa Rica now yeah that's funny good I don't want that I think Chris and whatever live in Costa Rica now. Yeah. That's funny. Good. I don't want that. Oh, yeah. Shout out to Theo, dude.

He's killing it. Let's be honest. Yeah, he's doing very well. He's doing way better than... He's one of the few people where you watch him more and then you're like, oh, he's actually funnier than I thought. Yeah, in any fashion.

More funny. Yeah. There you go. There's a compliment. All right. So don't act like your compliments meet anything they don't mean i don't matter we do not matter dude i'm such a hater so all right so this one i don't know if this is i'm pretty sure this is not this cannot be real

is it i don't know let's see it's uh posted by icarus lives it's called the ufc fighter attempts to watch t fat k podcast. This cannot be real. I mean, I've never seen it. You were scrolling through. Yeah. Let's see. UFC fighters are some of the fittest people on the planet, but can they survive watching the fighter in the kid's podcast for 30 seconds?

No, it's not real. Today, we're going to find out who are the greatest UFC fighters of all time. Tito, how are you feeling? I'm really nervous. For everyone, I've had some hard training. For this one, I kind of haven't really prepared really nervous. For everyone, that's hard training. For this one, I kind of haven't really prepared the right way. It's a little different now behind a cockpit. All right, let's roll.

All right, Tito, how are you feeling? All right. This is one where he might pass out. Three, two, one, let's go. You couldn't do that, though. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. Oh, that's so funny, dude. You got CT.

Oh, my God, that's hilarious. Yes, sir. Well done. Dude, well done. Well done. You went all the way. Compliments to the chef. Dude, that's great stuff.

You named the waters in boner alert. Yes, very good. That's Icarus lives. I don't know if they made that, but that was amazing. I would watch that clip seven times a week. Oh my God. Yeah. When he stepped into that cockpit, he was like, oops.

Yeah, dude. Oh man. All right. We got another one by Icarus lives here, dude. Okay. You know, shout out to Icarus. That was hilarious. Good job, Vicky.

Oh my God. All right. got another one by icarus lives here dude okay you know shout out to icarus that was hilarious good job vicky oh my god all right uh this one's called pedestrian headphones on posted by icarus lives so many cycles there's almost no group that is as far away from normal as Community Action. I know. That's why I get along with them so well. It's so hard for me to hang out with regular folk. That would be rough. Like, if I had to live in a community of regular people, would it just work every day? Would it? And then also, what amuses us, too, what amuses us around comedians.

You ever, like, talk to a bunch of comics for, like, a weekend or something, and then you go to your norm too what amuses us around comedians you ever like talk to a bunch of comics for like a weekend or something and then you go to your normcore people it's the worst you bring a comic joke

it makes you go like I don't want to hang out with anybody that's not a comedian wait wait wait do you agree and I like look at a restaurant

and I go like I'm not angry and I'm not thinking about killing everybody in there but I'm looking around and being like they're so useless they're so useless.

They're so useless. What are they going to do if I wanted to? Oh, no. A comic's brain is so different than a pedestrian's brain. And, like, what? Pedestrian. Like, I can't help. Pedestrian is so funny, by the way.

Oh. Why are you saying that? That's not one of our guys' business. Not one of our guys'. They don't have, like, a personality. You can't beat a comic. No. Hanging out, having fun, laughing.

There's no way. No way. You ever heard a regular person's story? It's true. Good God. That's boring shit. Oh, yeah. The FBI is looking at my

I went to Germany once he goes shut up FBI stories that's pretty interesting yeah all their stories

someone was trying a spy was trying to talk to a spy was trying to talk to Jeff Dye there trying to pass on information and Jeff Dye there trying to pass on information

and Jeff Dye's like whatever dude pump the stool get on over my head are you gay? am I gay? what's going on? fucking idiot

the mothership is on fire right now why am I talking to you? that's like the no offense to him but that's like the common thing the joke structure or the joke that comedians always try where they're like,

women's stories are like boring. You ever heard of women tell your story? That's the same thing. All people that are not comedians are also boring. You ever have a woman, they're like, I went to Germany during World War II and I saved a whole battalion of people. Shut up and say I'm gay. Bitch. Hump the fucking stool the stool okay do you see what

whitney cummings does when she's like going like this and showing her pussy can you do that i'm bored i'm a fucking loser can you go backstage and piss on the stairs do a comedian come on do take your shirt off and take your dick out okay we're all drunk dummy my dad's an architect a stepdad got me gigs he's an architect and he got me gigs in the summer like like real jobs and i was like holy shit you're a laborer on a construction site fuck your life fuck my life every day, fuck your life and I would just fucking

carry shit all day and be so tired, but I remember thinking okay, there's gotta be a fucking plan, we gotta make a plan avoid this, you can't be doing this my head hurts gotta be a fucking plan. We gotta make a plan. Avoid this. You can't be doing this. My head hurts. And I ordered my own chicken,

which I love from there, and the hot and sour soup is the best in the world. I still love P.F. Chang's. If I cheat meal, I'm P.F. Chang Goldie. I took a few classes at L.A. Boxing, man, and the guy was training me there, and I just thought I could help you with your job. I'm like, very cool, man. Thank you. Could you please get my wish chicken?

Just get my wish chicken. That one hurts, dude, kind of. That one's so cringe, awful. Why would you think that? And why would you say it out loud? Unnecessary. Oh. Yeah.

Nobody's, normal people, I've never thought anything like that. Yeah. Well, oh well, that might be my pedestrian brain coming out a little bit there. Yeah, tell a fucking joke, dude.

Yeah, I know. I should have put that waiter in his place. Yeah. Like Papa would do. Yeah, no, dude. Name the waters, B. Don't talk shit about comedians. There's only a thousand of them on airwaves.

Airwaves, yeah. But if a dude at P.F. Chang tells you how to punch somebody hell no dude give me my orange chicken bee if he's a big guy seeing him get into a car what are you doing dude of any size

can I just tell you that the worst thing that ever happened to stand up comedy was that stand up comedians got podcasts well this next one has a song throughout the whole thing so it might be cut out of the episode but it's posted by psych d lurk it's called curb your European Tour. It's where I cancel dates. I never do. Ticket. Europe. UK tour. I'm trying to figure it out. It starts in Belfast.

Belfast. June 15th. Last. Cancel. June 17th. Cancel. Manchester. June 18th. Cancel. London. June 22nd. Cancel. Hartiff. June 23rd. Cancel. My end in my favorite place I've ever done stand up

Dublin Ireland June 25th it's one show in each freaking city buy any tickets get your tickets

right now London's almost sold out I think so it's not right now big boy dot big boy dot

was he gonna go to Germany at all I don't think so. No, no. Just England and Ireland, Scotland? They said no. Yeah, half of Ireland is homeless apparently, dude. Yeah, a lot of our fans seem to be in Belfast.

Yeah. Shout out to y'all, dude. I kind of wish you guys had bought the tickets. I know. So you can get some bits out of this. Some skits and beats. You know. We went to Brandon Chobb's.

We went to his comedy show. It was the worst thing I've ever seen in my life. You know. We went to Brandon Chobb's. We went to his comedy show. It was the worst thing I've ever seen in my life. Took a picture with Brandon Chobb. Look at me and this moron. I don't know how he fits in the frame of any size. Any size. Yeah. One of the worst comedians I've ever seen in my life. I wonder

though too, what could the unforeseen circumstances be? If there were unforeseen circumstances that weren there were unforeseen circumstances that weren't like having no tickets sold what were they maybe that i mean this has been said already but the da got recalled in dublin wait that oh right i'm sure it's been said that's not real though no no no there's no district attorney oh you're saying real stuff yeah stuff? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe something happened with Brennan's fish. That's what I was going to say. I was going to say maybe something happened internally, in-house.

Right. You know what I mean? Like aquarium issues? Yeah, aquarium issues, opposite of boner alerts maybe. You know what I mean? Something that was super flaccid alert. His favorite shoes are missing. Yep.

He's got to find them. They were at the studio next to the whiskey bottles. Wigski. But then he went there and they weren't there. Right? Sink smelled like piss. He wasn't pissing. He wasn't the one pissing that time. So now he's trying to figure it out.

Yeah. I'm sure it's his team though. It's his team's fault. Probably. Maybe the team didn't know like the European restrictions or something like that. Right. right absolutely or what if he doesn't even have a passport what if he booked the shows didn't even have a passport that would be the greatest next scandal at chang's yeah he's so dumb they didn't know he needed a passport well no or he or he like lost his passport you know well he at least knows that but he lost his passport or it's expired that's what i'm saying right yeah or he spilled

food all over i mean you can still use with food i guess he left it at one of the food trucks yeah there's somebody's like trying to figure out where this is i got your passport yeah are you one of the cats messing with me instead of giving his number to a girl he gave his passport to a girl yeah yeah he's so redacted as possible all right so let's go to the next clip then um all right so this one's posted by okay specialist 49 29 it's called leave a thig become an icon now my favorite type of weed was uh cocaine hell yeah dude good for you theo yeah it makes me happy dude man we've been doing the show so long that theo used to be a part of brendan shop's whole career yeah we saw a bunch we saw him leave

we saw a new show form golden hour yeah you know know, we've been part of the history, kind of. Yeah. Special time for us. Special time, yeah. When I look back at this time right now, it may be not so special. Like, I'll think this is special. Like, the time right now is special, dude.

Right. I mean, you built the ground we walk on, B. Yeah. Thank you. Ridicteed. Ridicteed. Ridicteed. All right, so this one's posted by a feisty today, 82 90.

It's called dicey, dicey block bus. Uh, and I think it's from a recent episode or I don't know, two days ago. So let's see what happens. Talking to Rogan this morning. I go,

I cannot listen to another podcast of you and anyone you've had at the club, the mothership and how fun it is. Wave. I was venting. you've had at the club, the mothership, and how fun it is. Weevils Venture. My favorite chili. Chili. I wasn't really very funny.

You know, Rogan, it's like a death by a thousand paper cuts. Rogan, why don't you have your friend Papa on the mothership? He's never even been there. I was at the mothership last night waiting in and and this woman was like oh what is the one where he's like uh stuck a tongue tongue up her butt because you know it gets boring yeah in line at the mothership that'd be funny if rogan was like like guess signed some sort of paperwork with austin city or whatever to be like no food trucks anywhere within 25 mile radius of the fucking mothership dean i'm back at the mothership get it get it oh what is it called i will back get it back get it

uh all right this next one's posted by Cruel Ambitions. It's called No Mention of the Cancelled UK Tour. He'll be chilling all summer with the kiddos. Sam Tripoli, Jeff Dye, Brennan Shue. It's going to be a fun time. Maybe a special guest. Special time. I'll be doing sets around LA. We have a fight campaign this Saturday 7pm live on ThinkBoy

YouTube for UFC 289. The Schmo, Callan and Pauly Shore. Taking a long break. Yes, I'm chilling this summer with the kiddos. Nice. So, next one's the Ice House in Pasadena, July 28th. Spokane, September. Skankfest,

29th of September. Niagara Falls, November. Alright, kids, love ya. It's like he's tired or something, you know? Every time he says a time, it's really he's tired or something you know the way every time he says a time it's really spoken now it's not a time but the city's

names too spoken I'm gonna be a spoken and also take a break yeah it's towards the end he just doesn't care it is what it is dog he just goes B but do you think that there's gonna be like a I don't know Yeah, it's... Towards the end, he just doesn't care. It is what it is, dog. He just goes. Yeah, he just goes, B.

Yeah. But do you think that there's going to be, like, I don't know, do you think he's... Do you think... When does all these comedy clubs catch on that... That he sucks? It's like a constant troll, in a sense. You know what I mean?

I don't know. I mean, if he sells tickets, which he doesn't seem to be doing, they'll have him on. I'm more worried about him being at home. Yeah. Because we've seen what went in the special you know he's gonna get in

fights with his wife because she's spicy and she's an asshole I mean she's gonna throw a lot of hot cheetos they had a lot of Nina Fauci you know how she always gets

she's like Nina Fauci Nina you know whatever Nina something who knows what's next Nina something else Nina Delta.

Nina, Nina, your shirts are weird. Vaccine. Nina, vaccine. Nina, your stand-up's terrible. Whatever she does, you know? Yep. Cheeto bitch. Boner alert.

Yeah, well, maybe she won't post too many thirst traps when he's at home. Yike. You saw him. You saw him. Yeah, I don't know. know i feel bad i feel bad because he's had to cancel this whole tour but yeah i don't give a fuck though too because he doesn't he's not honest you know yeah i want to know why the tour is canceled an honest answer would have been entertaining to watch yeah also would have made us you know feel uh bad for him yeah or at least

have some empathy yeah but now i don't have any yeah or have yeah yeah if you would have made us feel bad for them. Yeah. Or at least have some empathy. Yeah. But now I don't have any. Yeah. Or have. Yeah, I don't have any. Yeah, if you would have been honest, it would have been a boner alert for me, dude. Yeah. But it's also a double-edged sword.

You got to think, you know, put yourself in Bapa's shoes, dude. What do you do? You know what I mean? I would, well, I mean, I probably wouldn't announce a European tour unless I knew I had some chances of selling some tickets, right?

So I wouldn't even be in that position. But times that you've been honest with your audience, a European tour unless I knew I had some chances selling some tickets. Right. Yeah. Um, so I wouldn't even be in that position, but times that you've been honest with your audience, like I pissed in the sink. There's a whole thing. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah.

That was hilarious. But he kind of tried to walk that back a little bit. Didn't he? He was like, I don't know. Always piss in the sink. I mean, he,

let's be honest. Yeah. Always busy. You know what I mean? But even then it's just guys being dudes. And then like, I had a problem with Addie's and it's like, Oh, Addie's good, good, good honest. He's always busy. You know what I mean? But even then, it's just guys being dudes. And then I had a problem with Addies. It's like, oh, Addies, Addies.

Good, good, good, good, good, right? They talk about openly doing Addies. Yeah. But I guess it's just we didn't know the extent from the text. Like every other text is like, you got any Addies? Got any Addies? Got any Addies?

So he sounds like he has a drug problem. You know? It's different. Different. Yeah. All right. Anyways, let's go to the next clip.'s uh posted by bro away 831 it's called brenda is so desperate he reached out to lewis gomez for advice on dealing with the haters well that that's why it was you know brendan chubb who we're having on

skank fest he hit me up and like hey dude how did you like deal with like like oh you're trying i heard you had like a lot of trolls and like, and I was like, dude, you gotta just like ignore it. You gotta embrace it. Cause he gets like, he gets,

you know, killed by his subreddit. So he was like, he was like, Hey dude, he was like, he was like, what do you,

what do you do about this? And I was like, well, dude, first of all, I'm the leader of the people who are trolling you on your subreddit. I have five secret accounts that I personally troll you with. So,

um, I am Heisenberg. Hello. I am your Heisenberg. No, but yeah, I think you have to almost just fucking take the hit. Yeah. Or either ignore it or laugh at it. You know what I'm saying?

That is, I think, the secret with trolls just in general. You know, either ignore it completely or fucking laugh at it, but if you start blocking or getting angry or being like, you're just throwing gasoline on a fire. Going back at people

like fucking, it's such a crazy fucking way to make. Fuck all that. Well, that's, hmm. Wow, dude.

Yeah, well, he says he ignores it. Obviously, he doesn't. He says he doesn't read the comments. He says he posts and goes.

I don't think I would go to Luis Gomez for advice on this because he's just going to make fun of you like he did yeah probably the worst person to go to he's going to go on um uh legion of skanks and just get made fun of again probably in some way right is that coming up yeah right it was on his schedule for september okay yeah that's not a that's not a move I would do if I were Papa. It's like opening up yourself. Like I'm afraid of trolls. I'll go hang out with the troll podcast. Yeah. It doesn't seem like a good move.

He'll learn. We'll see. Or he won't. We'll be, we'll see in September, dude. Yeah. Interesting.

Are they going to be nice to him? Didn't they have a whole question thing where they asked his friends if they think he's funny? Yeah. They're all like, no. They said yes, but they failed the test.

Damn, that's... Dude, that's almost even worse than saying no. Then he's in on the bit then. You know, maybe that's growth. He's in on the bit. He's going to hang out with the Legion of Skanks people.

Maybe he's in on the bit now. Good for him. Maybe that's the arc. Yeah. He leans into being the idiot. Dude, I like that. Number one thing that can happen, dude, if he does lean in, Gringo Poppy 2, dude.

Gringo Poppy 2 is what we're all hoping for. Yes. That would be amazing. That's what I'm saying. It's like not even 25 minutes. It's 15 minutes. It's not even on YouTube. It's a... What else would it be on? You can't do long form. It's just on Twitter.. It's a, what else would it be on? You can't do long form.

Yeah. It's just not, it's like a bunch of clips on Twitter. You guys, Gringo Poppy 2. I need the retweets. 10 minute TikTok video. The comments will be turned off for sure.

Whatever he does, I'm sure there'll be no comments. Yeah. Oh, all right. Well, this one that we alluded to earlier. It's called How'd the Whiskey Biz Go?

Posted by Trundle Tobogan. And the subtitle is Apologies for the Low Effort Dish Here, but I thought perhaps a harder working cat who can and actually does watch Brain Dips a million different podcasts without gadushing themselves could validate this tweet I came across. And the tweet says, I just had a thought. I think Tiger Thicke has failed too. He hasn't spoke about it in a couple months.

It's not on the set of the shows anymore. He used to not be able to say anything without mentioning it. It's done with, I'm telling you. I think that's a good point because we've scrolled through the subreddit. I did a post or two this past few weeks. Yeah.

And I, they're okay. You know, little small dishes. Nothing to be like, you got to see what's on our specials menu or anything like that. But I mean, we haven't seen, I haven't seen anything about Tiger Thick. And the last thing I saw about Tiger Thick

was that the price had gone down. It was down 60. I think that's the real problem is that the price point is just way too high. And if you start too high with something like that, I assume it's just never going to work. As a bit, it's funny. Yeah.

If it was like not a lot of money, I'd buy it and drink it. It's hilarious. Like just, hey, we're drinking Schaub's liquor and then make fun of him and like, isn't this stupid?

That's ironically buying it to me is a funny bit. Saying chairs, chairs. Chairs. Yeah, it gives you the opportunity to say chairs with people.

Yep. Although we, I mean, I never, that guy bought it for us when it was like 90 bucks. Dude, if Brendan Schaub

makes his Tiger Thig wixky 20 bucks i'll relapse and keep doing the show dude there you go there's a challenge yeah ruined gerardo's life and he'll keep doing the show keep doing the show oh man yeah also too the last time we heard about tiger thig wixski was... James. There you go, dude. Yeah, I forgot, yeah. So that's the answer right there. Yeah, they used a different lick. They used James' lick.

Yikes. Yeah. And they got caught, B. What are we doing here, Bapa? I don't know, but I got a boner alert. Let's see the next one. Okay, so this one's called The Rogue is a... Oh, The Rog.

I thought it said The Rogue earlier. Yeah, The Rogue. The Rogue is a fan of Boppa posted by NoCauliflower4577. Let's see. I feel like you have a long list. How tall is The Rogue? 6'2". He's 6'2".

I'm in the elevator room. Is he a big dude? Compared to you, how big is he? You guys are like... No, It was just No it was just two of us Did you say anything? Just what's up?

Sup The Rock He said what? He said he's a fan I said I want to fucking fight you He's not All of that sounds made up Yeah He just did

I just did a really funny joke I did the Godzilla voice I was like Godzilla Godzilla in the elevator Godzilla The Rock laughed a lot. It was really great. Yeah, he laughed a lot more than you did last week, Chris.

I don't know why we fit in the elevator, you know, of any size. Of any size. D'Leo was kind of doing a shot bit there, so he got mad. He's like, this is my bed, dude. Yeah. Stole my bed. I talk about big guys not being able to fit in places. Yeah.

That's dumb, dude. Name the water. And then Too Lazy to Try is already putting the two clips together yeah so Dillard and Brennan Schaub had a thing this week

and they got and so I don't know what you guys think but like I kind of think that the podcast we're getting angry at each other

and here's why I love that guy and here's the clip I watched the Too Lazy to Try video earlier today really yeah

it's really easy to just keep screaming over and over again. It's like these people you've never even heard of. Craziest Joe Rogan guest ever. So this guy went on Joe Rogan, and he said that trans people have superpowers, and he sounded like a real moron,

so Joe doesn't want him on anymore. Anyways, here's the clip. Yeah. All right, this next one's posted by Jazz Cosmo. It's called Modern Day Philosophers B. They spelled philosophers wrong, dude. Brother, I love you way more than you'll ever love me. And you know that I told you that last night.

That's a ridiculous thing to say to a person. You changed my life immeasurably. You changed my life. We really did. I just get too much credit. It's all of us. It's like we did it all together. We all did it together.

Without good friends, nobody really succeeds. This is where the problem is alcohol. You shouldn't bring alcohol into this. Yeah. Because when you're hanging out with your good friends and you're doing this podcast and you get really drunk,

this kind of stuff may happen. And it's going to be over the top cringe for most people watching it. Unless they're super fans and they feel like they're best friends and they're like, oh, our friend, we're all. And they get like these weird people watching and getting teary eyed with their liquor watching and stuff but for everyone else we're like god these guys raining in a bit yeah aside from you saying that you're a fan of burt kreischer the number one hated episode was the drinking episode where you guys are drinking alcohol oh

really yeah oh that's right people are hating on that asw and then you said you like burt kreischer and they're like dude the burt the burt hate is so funny because one guy, I forget, I think his name was like D-Trick or something like that. He wrote something on it like, I hate Bert, or like Bert Kreisler sucks. That's like all he wrote. 70 likes on YouTube. It's like the most liked comment on the video.

I was laughing at that. Like, damn, he is hated. Whatever the noise he does. I can't do it. That is hated. I understand that noise being annoying. Oh, yeah.

It's just funny. In any size. In any video. In any clip, Chin. Alright, let's finish this one off. You don't appreciate it if it's just you. It doesn't seem

fair. It seems all fucked up. I keep saying to people, you gotta surround yourselves with the motherfuckers. If you're talking about your friends as if you're the top dog, then you're with the wrong dudes. Someone said to me, you're always talking like you're not a great comic, that your friends are so much better.

I go, they are. Look who my fucking friends are. Are you fucking kidding me? Like my friends, I surround myself by people that are way better than me. And then I just listen. I don't listen a lot, but we all rise up. To our listeners, that's anyone in the world. You could be in a Starbucks and you're already doing that

to the people who watch our show. Everyone there is better than you in their minds. B. There's five seconds left. Gather. It's the old expression that the rising tide raises all boats. Boats. This boat is sinking, B.

Thank him. Oh, oh dude that's hilarious to say modern day philosophers and that's the clip dude that's a good bit yeah great bit thank him all right let's go to this one it's called uh bisbing and smith discuss brendan schaub it looks like anthony sm Bisbing. It's posted by IceJones999. Because that expression, when Teddy Atlas said that, it's been quoted a lot by a lot of people. Yeah. You know, and when you said it there, because I saw Brendan Schaub claiming it as his own line. I see.

I see Reddit people where I hear it from. Brendan's awesome. I'm not talking crap, but I'm sorry. He's like, I always used to say, you get 30% better. You get 30% better. I've always said this. I like Brendan, but that's funny. No, me too. He gets shit off everyone.

He does. He does catch a lot of shit. I feel for the guy. And he gets a lot of shit for his comedy special. You know, he got a lot of... I didn't think it was that bad. You think I'm happy? Yeah. I didn't see it. I didn't think it was that bad yeah yeah i didn't see it i didn't see it was that bad at all i laughed at it yeah no no i i saw a few clips on instagram and stuff there's a few jokes in there do you know it's a comedy special the man's a success he's living

his life he's doing well we just like to talk shit i't know what it is. He does a lot of pretty good things like behind the scenes too. Like I think he's donated some money and covered the bill for some real important things and he does some some philanthropy

for whatever that is. Philanthropy. Oh God. Okay, a little bit left. A little bit left. It's for donating money. Philanthropic endeavors. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Whatever that word is. God bless him. God bless him. Charles Olivao. He's like, anyways. Yeah, this is how Schaub's friends talk about him. This is how, you know. Oh, you know, the special.

It had jokes in it. If they watch him play a basketball game. He had the ball at one point. Yeah, yeah. He had a shot. Yeah. He shot it He had the ball at one point. Yeah, yeah. He had a shot. Yeah. He shot it. He passed it at some point.

Yeah. Watch him play softball. Yeah, he drank some beers in the dugout. He was drinking during the softball game. Yeah. Embarrassing. Recording a podcast. Yeah, he was pissing in the sink.

You know, like, yeah. Yeah, there was a cockroach in the studio. There's a few. There's a few cockroaches there. You know, like those tweets? It's like, POV, you're Brandon Chobb's producer. And it's like, Brandon Chobb just started a group chat. Yeah, he was texting about a steel team thing,

about addies and baddies. I mean, yeah, he fell asleep during the podcast. about a steel team thing about Addies and Baddies. He was sick. Yeah, he fell asleep during the pot. He had retries cubes at one point. Yeah, if you wanted to hurt me, you got me, brother. I still consider you a friend. Yeah, I can't talk.

Alright, that was great. By the way, I saw the special too it was good oh yeah yeah yeah dude there was definitely some stuff about dallas in there for sure yeah fat people were like what the fuck you know yeah yeah when he called his mom about whether she was gonna get donuts she was like i wasn't yeah you know i love donuts i mean chili yeah right yeah uh this one's called brendan brenda nails it when axed what year season 10 uh the one he was on of the ultimate fighter occurred and then in parentheses 2009 i think it occurred in 2009

uh but let's see what he says in this clip this is posted by all i do is lie to you i'm curious if this if we're going to get an announcement of the you know more ultimate fighters on espn not espn plus and and Fight Pass, but actually ESPN. I'm wondering how ESPN feels about it. What year would season 10 have been? What year was that? She didn't even know what she started. Yeah.

Why is she doing this to shop? She knows he's not a numbers guy. She's homeless. Certified homeless. No, this is unintentional homeless. Unintentional homeless certification. Just like the ring girl with Hawani.

But who is this? Is this a ring girl? I have no clue who that is. Oh, yeah. I know who you're talking about. Where she didn't mean to be homeless, but dude, this is the most homeless activity. I think she meant to be homeless, dude. Not her, but the other one. Because she had that smile. She was like, Hawani's like, do you watch Brendan Shaw? I'm just like, I don't know.

Do you watch him? And he says, is he funny? She's like, I don't know. Do you think he's funny? Kind of like she knows. That's not certified homeless, though. Okay. Maybe not certified.

Because homeless cats, dude, they don't give a fuck. No, no, no. They name the waters. They name the waters. For sure. Shane. Hi, Shane. Yeah.

All right. Let's see the rest of this one. That would have been 2018. No. No, no, no. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Earlier than that, I would say.

I have CT. That's literally five years ago. I shouldn't laugh. No, you should. It's fine. It's not a joke, actually. I definitely have it. No.

That would have been 2013. Yes. I think part of it seems like- Damn, he's way off. We should have it. No. That would have been 2013? Yes. I think part of it seems like- Damn, he's way off. We should have guessed how many years he'd be off. It'd be funny if the camera panned out and Randy Felface was there with her. You get him.

That would be great. He's so stupid. Yeah. I wonder what Randy's up to. World Tour still. Feltopia is still going on. Oh, shit. Yeah.

It's funny. I mean, I may be redact oh shit yeah it's it's funny i mean i may be redacted and getting it wrong but when i looked it up it said feltopia and it came out in 2022 but it was 2023 so i think it was maybe the end of 2022 to 2023 because there's still dates in like june and july and all that stuff oh okay he's coming back here i think going to irvine at some point oh i think so like pretty soon, I think. Boner alert. Boner alert. Yeah. Alright, so this one's posted by Dickbutt. I mean, you know.

Tiger Thick, or Tiger Belly employee right there. There you go. It's called Kings of CTE. No. And just transition to... That's so awesome, dude. That's so good. That's so good. That's so good.

They grab each other's hands. They don't even know where to put their hands anymore. They've been hit in the head so many times. That was a nice little appetizer dish, dude. Yeah. You know what? In an interview with two people with CT, it's going to keep you busy. Knowing where to put your hands.

Yeah. Keep it busy. If you work at P.F. Chang's, you're going to be busy. You're going to be busy. Yeah. All right. So where to put your hands. Yeah. If you work at PF Chang's, you're going to be busy. You're going to be busy. Yeah. All right. So this is the last one. It's posted by Icarus Libs.

It's called Street Fighter 2 Chang's Edition Chinjury. Great name. Yeah. Great game. Never played it. Let's see. Let's see. Chin.

Bishop. Round-Shot. Round one. This is really stupid. Yeah. You lose. You lose. Do you have that chip do you have that chip do you have that chip a few weeks later

how's the neck freaking Mark's boy Griffin that you guys know he's been like doing chiropractor work for free for me he's like stretching my neck out I feel like it's helping you exercise? I feel like it's helping, yeah. Yeah, you look better.

Thanks, man. That's cool. Yeah, but I'm going to reach out to the actual, the car that- How do you find Korean barbecue in Portland? Because I'm there tomorrow. He doesn't care. Tomorrow.

No election. He's like, you know, he's like Joe Pesci's character in Goodfellas with the guy he shoots. And then, you know, how are you doing? And then he makes fun of him again. Straight out of that.

Yeah, dude. All right, well, that's all we have for this week. Join us for the live show Thursday around 6 p.m. Yes. Like and subscribe on the video. See you next week and Thursday. Adios. Adios.