10 Minutes of Schaub - Brendan Schaub makes fun of the homeless AGAIN! | 10 Minutes of Schaub #50

Episode Date: May 10, 2023

Fiftieth Episode of 10 Minutes of Schaub

Long Lopez Peeing Bud Light in an otherwise empty room Balls deep, black fish Never read any comments The bar butt doesn't add read Tries to do it accurate Tries to do it accurate, tries to spell his name. The chicks come around and I want some head.

Walk me to truck walkers, come and soon. Don't call me Papa, Mr. Whole Foods. Dip in your nachos and your nacho cheese. Don't call me papa. Mr. Whole Foods, dip in your nachos and your nacho cheese. One take. It's time for my favorite time of the week. When you get to hear papa try to speak.

Release surprises today. You better act gay or watch 10 Minutes of Shob. Welcome back to 10 Minutes of Shob. Thanks for tuning in. Join the Patreon if you want. Shout out the Patreons, dude. Yes, shout out to everybody who joined. Like and subscribe.

Shout out to you. Shout out to you guys for doing that join the discord dude and then lastly all the episodes are on uh spotify but that's not why you're here why are they here you are here to watch 10 minutes of shops and play the chin clip boom you sometimes you don't start the timer on screen and it frustrates me. Very Boppa move. Yes. First clip is posted by Haphazard. Shout out to him. Oh, one of our guys.

Yeah. It's called Griff implying what we were all thinking. Interesting. Yeah. Yeah. We're going to go in and take a look at him. Yeah. We'll suck your tongue like a Dalai Lama.

No, we won't do that. What was that? Huh? Did we talk about that? No, we haven't. He's a pedophile. Yeah, we haven't. I think he was making a joke. I don't think he actually wanted. What was that? Huh? Did we talk about that? No, we haven't. He's a pedophile. Oh, yeah, we haven't. I think he was making a joke.

I don't think he actually wanted to do that. Where was the funny, Chris? Well, he's not funny. Not funny people still try to make jokes. But what joke? I mean. What? What?

What? What? Man, it took me a while to get that. I don't know if I'm tired or what. It's not funny people still make try to make jokes i guess about boppa of course yeah what very that's a good take there a hot take from an old diddler oh so griff is eric griffin oh griff's but isn't what are you talking about isn't eric griffin griff answer in the comments what did he say about griff well griff's

is the one that said i mean saying that bob is not funny oh i missed that yeah yeah yeah yeah they're they're coming at him from all angles in that clip i was paying attention to delia and ripping on him but then griff came in with and of course delia is being apologetic for somebody doing something inappropriate to a younger person yeah yeah yeah that's just dicey dice. All right, so the next one is posted by Quote Environmental. It's called You're Not a Headliner, Bapa. It has been a problem, though, because a lot of people want to come. And some of them are just, you know.

People are weird that want a headline and you know that they know. Like, you know that you're not really a headliner. Like, what are you talking about? Oh, man. Bapa asking you to do your comedy club. What do you tell him, Gerardo? I would give him a spot. You give him a spot.

Oh, yeah, because we like him. I mean, not because I like him, but it's because I don't, I'd rather the internet be quiet on something than be loud. Right. If Bapa asked me if he could do my comedy club, I'd be like, nah, man. But then if he was like, why? I'd be like, eight inches.

No, I just, Bapa's terrible. He's comedy poison. I'm surprised, though, if anywhere you think that he could do stand-up, you'd think it would be Joe Rogan's crowd, because I've got to assume some of them like him. He's the one who put him on. He put him on the show that many times. Well, there's crowd because I got to assume some of them like him, you know? Yeah. He's the one who put him on. He put him on the show that many times.

Well, there's a Venn diagram to be made of people that enjoy Joe Rogan and are homeless as fug. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's true. That probably is true, Boppa. If anybody knows how annoying Brandon is, it's the people that listen to Joe Rogan experience. Very good point. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, that's hilarious, though.

And then again, i said your honest thought that you think he's talking about boppa in this clip no yeah probably not yeah i think he's talking about maybe i don't know ti you know what i mean ti there's so many others come on joe rogan let me headline joe rogan has so many people in his orbit that aren't funny asking him to do the club that's kind of suck i mean mean, I send him a DM. Yeah. We both asked him. We'd be two people. He'd be like, you really think?

I'm sure people would show up though. Yeah. Yeah. We could get some cats out there. Maybe. I don't know. We don't matter, but maybe he'd come and see us. All right.

So this one is posted by Sven sex. It's called Mr. Hands. Parentheses throwing up. The cease gang is posted by Sven Sexa. It's called Mr. Hands. Parentheses throwing up the C gang sign is the new leg rubbing. Oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

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oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, Boppa accidentally throwing up gang signs is hilarious. These guys are looking at clips from all angles, going from A to C. Legends. Very good. CTE. we don't mess around the crabs around here blood oh by the way i might uh take out the music in this part.

I might add a different song. Oh, right. Yeah. Smart. Let's see. You got to assume, dude, like in order to get to the ufc we're all working at the same level like some people do it a little different but in order to achieve you know to be a professional fighter in the ufc the biggest organization in the world i assume that is day one shit man

that you're working hard you know it also is a cct yeah he clearly has gerardo has the best brains for the arts maybe using a different song good good call out there papa what do you think uh his body is trying to say with this hand movement right there i don't know i think he just doesn't know what to do with his hands yeah and it's just like he's trying to make a point so he's using his hands but he's there's no real thought put into like what he could be doing this. And he wouldn't, you know? Yeah.

I always want to give him the benefit of the doubt. You know what I mean? Yeah. You want to beg the differ? Yeah. This one. What do you think? I feel like,

you know, because there's that saying your body is also speaking a language you don't understand or whatever. You know what I mean? Hmm. His body's trying to say something. Oh, I definitely don't think he knows what he's doing there's a message coming we're not sure what it is it's chopped up as you can see he's doing that little playground thing where you do this and you see a vagina if you open your hands

yeah that's true right he could be doing that um i don't know maybe just wants to show off his watch in the clip oh dude he's Best brains for the arts, B. Yeah, yeah. Maybe that's what it is. He's like, and I got this watch, and I have another watch in my house, which is my favorite watch. He's definitely one of those people that tells you about all the stuff he owns. Yeah.

He just lists it off. Yeah. And another thing I just bought is this thing. I think that's what it is, dude. He's wearing a vest. He looks like he's about to go squatching, dude. Yeah. He's about to go find some dirt serpents

yeah he's always wearing something funny every clip makes it seem like so and the last one he has on like a vest that you'd see nanette wear and in this one he's in a freaking uh hazard hazard suit from the famous rick glassman interview yeah so this is a throwback it's posted by sure caterpillar 1981 it's called. It's called The Best Brains. No, I'm good, man. Do you want an edible? No. Do you smoke weed? Nope, I just do CBD.

Why is he breathing like that? Dude, I have a dip in. What's that mean? I got nicotine in my veins, dog. But it's non-tobacco nicotine. What does that do for you? It just gets me a little buzzed and and it's supposed to help with, like, they did a big study, like

a 40-year study of, like, older people with dementia and, like, CTE, like old-school shit, and they realized people that smoke never got it. Not true. Okay. What's from the nicotine? Nicotine helps with brains. Nicotine helps with brains?

Nicotine helps with brains. Nicotine helps with brains? Nicotine helps with brains. This is like a time capsule of watching a bully bully someone. Like the dumb kid. You just ask him questions until he says something really stupid. And then you find the dumbest thing and you laser in on that. And you say it out loud back to them to see if they recognize how stupid it is. And they don't. And that's why.

That's where the funny comes in. I mean, it's kind of fucked up because nobody's an expert, especially if you're a comedian. Right. Yeah. No one's. Yeah. But some people are more self-aware of that fact than Brendan is. I feel like he's too solid on like, I know the facts kind of thing.

He felt like he had to make an excuse for being having chew you know it's like he could have just said i like chew yeah instead he's like they actually did this big study with like old people and their brains and nicotine helps brains be yeah see it's all that exposition that really that's what really grinds my gears because okay did i ever tell you about this burt kre once I watched one of his things. This is probably like before I got sober or something. I watched a video of him seasoning a chicken and he says something in there where he goes, you can never over salt chicken. Right.

That's obviously not true. Yeah. Okay. To you, it's obvious. Right. Yeah. But to me, I was like, oh, you can never over salt chicken. I just took it at face value.

Like, boom, that's true. And the next thing you know, I'm making chicken for my girlfriend and she's like, this, you can never over-salt chicken. I just took it at face value. Like, boom, that's true. And the next thing you know, I'm making chicken for my girlfriend. And she's like, this shit is salty. Yeah. And then all of a sudden I'm exposed. You know what I mean? You had to explain to her like, listen, I'm not sober.

I was watching Bert Kreisler. Yeah. And I took his cooking advice. Yeah. I took cooking advice from Bert Kreisler and I over-salted the chicken. Every comedian thinks they can do like a cooking show now because some have been good at it. It's like, no. If you're not good at cooking,

they're not going to have a good show. You're going to give people bad advice. I have learned some good things from those kind of shows, but definitely not how to salt chicken. And Shab, if you're watching though, you should absolutely do a cooking show. That would be great. Bro, that's what we're missing. He's eating the food. I want to see him

make it. Shop chef. Mm hmm. Chef shop, chef shop. Um, or even if it's him doing jumpers like chef Curry, just like shooting basketball, chef shop.

Yeah. Cook up something, Papa. Yeah. Uh, we were talking about this earlier. It's funny how they call Eric Griffin Montez on the Reddit. Yeah.

Great joke. Never seen it. It's a, this one's posted by a logical scientist. Two, two, two, one. It's called Montez talks about posted by a logical scientist. Two, two, two, one.

It's called Montez talks about hanging out in Joe's house after being at the mothership. So I'm in this big ass hot tub. Yeah, dude. All right. I mean, it's 50.

This is what it means. It's a huge hot tub. It's making this room. So I'm, so I'm chilling like this and I just casually look over. I look over and there's a dude who's not in the pool, but he's got his legs in the pool like this. He's butt ass naked.

And then there's a dude just literally playing with his dick. And it's just like, and I'm just like this. I look over. I look over and I go. Okay. What are you going to do? What am I going to do? They're laughing because they've all seen people jack off at Rogan's house. It's like some weird thing. Yeah.

These guys like we like Rogan. We've talked about that. But these guys like Rogan too much we've talked about that but these guys like rogan too much oh you know it's hilarious i maybe and maybe some diehard team osers will know whether or not we've talked about that but i'm pretty sure i've cut it out every time yeah where we say we like rogan i just take it out amazing that's so funny um i'm keeping this one in okay yeah you keep that clip in as you cut it out. Oh my God. But they just, the second they bring up Rogan, they all start laughing like the funniest thing has happened.

Maybe being around Rogan, there's something that we don't know, like some amazing electricity that happens. Because Schaub's face lights up. He's like laughing just at the thought of this hot tub that he's been before. the thought of this hot tub that he's been before but the story is really not that funny yeah they're talking about why are there two naked guys they did not have swimsuits why wouldn't they wear shorts when the boxers we need more if

there's some diciness that needs to be dissected in this clip why is the guy jacking off yeah that's really strange and who was the guy if it was joe rogan just in his own pool you know the guy's joe rogan and that's why they're laughing joe just jacks off well also to go to your point of like what toe means to brenda right like imagine if we met brendan shop we would we would light up with joy too because he's he'd be like our rogan exactly yeah yeah sorry to boppa either i kind of oh yeah he would be our rogan though. Yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent. I didn't start drinking Diet Cokes until Timo's, dude. Yeah, that's why we're slowly like you see.

There's going to be like, it's just starts with a Diet Coke, but it's a slippery slope. Okay. Pretty soon there's going to be some happy hippocratum on this table. There's going to be some iced coffee going on. Some Wixky. Some Tiger Thick baddies and addies where you don't see them. We're going to have a big guy who gets us drugs.

We're going, you know. A lot of group chats. Group chats, SEAL Team Thick, type text, message threads. What would our SEAL Team Thick be? You have to use T-MOS as an acronym or something like that. 10 minutes of group chatting? I don't know. That's pretty good. 10 minutes of group chat. Absolutely. We'll stick with that one.

All right. So let's go to the next one. This one's called Crowder makes rinks say ray pest joke. I got to give you the ray pest thing is funny. Oh, you said it too fast. And it's posted by individual map 884. Seven plus one. This is this week.

Seven plus one. Things progressives say before and Possibly During Sex. Number seven, Brian Callen. Let's kick this off. Be gentle. I haven't decided if this is rape yet. Oh, yeah. I think we need a little more volume on the 7 Plus 1.

7 Plus 1 Things Progressives. Going to keep you busy. Why is there a gun on his desk? Is he worried that... Go back to the beginning. Look at that. Oh busy. Why is there a gun on his desk? Is he worried that... Go back to the beginning. Look at that. Oh, yeah. There's a gun on this full desk.

Is it a paperweight, or is he worried that Callan's going to get a little busy? He got the gun after Callan joined. That's... I don't know. Do you think that's some sort of hazing that they're doing? Like, you know, it's obviously known in the zeitgeist that he's uh

accused of this you know i you maybe i mean maybe because crowder from what's come out of them recently seems like sort of a guy that's like it's all about him and he's a little bit uh bullying you know so maybe he's like giving callens and he's like hey you gotta go through the hoops for us i'm gonna make you say that you don't want to say a little bit. And then once I gain your trust. Yeah. And you're my bitch. Oh, really, dude?

I was going to say, okay, Mr. Whole Foods. He is Mr. Whole Foods. Yeah. And this guy, look at his face. He's dipping his nachos in nacho cheese. Yeah, dude. That's a nacho face cheese dipper right there. He's getting surgery for his chest or something like that. He had to get boobs removed. I don't know know there's a lot going on with him okay mr whole

foods uh all right so let's go to the next one this one's posted by logical scientist 2221 again it's uh titled tom bout truck walks question mark i just think like bushes when did blow jobs start oh job started very very, very early on. But they were like, oh, nice. This shit started very recently. Dude, that yucky hook, that gobble. Man. Horrendous.

I think it's hilarious, dude. I was disturbed by that. Heavy on the act out, think it's hilarious. I was disturbed by that. Heavy, heavy on the act out, but it is true. Maybe, but it bothers me that women have done that to shop. These women,

I hope they stay anonymous. Oh my gosh. That would be great though. If there was like a Jerry Springer esque show where shop is like with all the addies or with all the baddies on stage. It would be funny. But I think revealing the names of

former Brennan Schaub hookups is akin to a closeted person in the early 80s and 70s. Or like maybe telling somebody where Jews are during the Germany period. The Germany period.

But like that, I honestly think that because it's so embarrassing, right? That you shouldn't, if you know somebody, if you or your friend or a loved one has had sex with Brennan Schaub, keep it a secret.

Don't reveal. Absolutely should not be said at Chang's. To quote the doctor from Jackass number two, he knows, you know, that's one too many. Yeah. Very well said. Yes. Yes.

All right. So the next one is posted by another haphazard clip, dude. Oh. It's called the shout out to the homeless. Haphazard is that white boy that worked too much what do you want to live in me being homeless you know I'm always going to be escaping

to a fantasy world I'll listen so is he on the show with them right now or are they just watching a clip do you think I think it's a clip that was sent in so I wonder are they going to be like try and help him out do the griff where they're like oh we send this guy money um do they call him gay or um that's those are my

two things help them out or call them gay or do you or uh blame or call it a redditor i'm surprised they let any clips come in that have anything to do with homelessness, but then shop doesn't, you know? Yeah. Also too, you know,

their producers are the dicey ones shop posts and ghost baby. Right. But the producers are like, Oh, you want to talk shit about us? Good, good, good,

good. Yeah. You know what I mean? Let's see what happens. Listen to your podcast. Great entertainment. Um, also read, I'll read fantasy i'll read anything that'll

get my mind off of things uh but yeah guys let us know your top picks oh and brendan um keep doing your thing i love it i never leave comments but I'm always listening, man. Keep on keeping on. It's sad because being unhoused, I imagine, is terrible, and then you see the effect it can have on your mind. You might think

that Brendan Schaaf is good and entertaining. It's a sad thing, Papa. Yeah, disenfranchised. This is what, you know, the policies that aren't helping other people in Los Angeles. This is what it can do. Yeah, but it's playing Gavin Newsom. Yeah, Gavin Newsom. Recall.

Okay, get rid of it. I heard they already recalled the DA. It's because of this kind of shit. What a fucking sweet guy, dude. Do you mean the homeless guy knows I get hate? Ain't that a bitch? That's how bad it's gotten? Yeah, dude.

Hey, I don't want to win the cart. He's like, hey, man. Fuck shop! He's all, hey, man, I went to trade places with you. That's the fantasy world. You're a homeless dude, man. You get way too much hate. I can do it.

I'd rather be homeless. That says a fantasy. You're homeless, dude, man. You get way too much hate. I can do it. I'd rather be home. I said a lot about your hate. When the homeless guy is like, it's okay, Brendan. The homeless guy was like, the homeless guy was like, it's going to be okay.

He was all, hang in there, bro. There'll be brighter days, man. Damn, you hated. We're at an old time high right now.

I'm so mad, dude. I should have guessed they're going to make fun of him for being homeless. Of course they would. That's what he does. That's one of the many, I almost said third thing. Well, you shouldn't be mad. You should be happy that you're not able to assume what Brendan Chobb is going to do.

Yeah, that's true. That might mean I've gone full Redact brain if I could know what he's going to do. I do like predicting. Yeah, true. That might mean I've gone full redact brain if I could know what he's going to do. I do like predicting. Yeah, true. Especially when it comes to BS, dude. Alright, so we got another clip here. It's posted by Haphazard. Oh, Haphazard went on a streak this week, dude.

It's called Griff thinks that he is too good for the show. He called one woman a cunt in his text message. That made me like him me too I liked him but then I also thought you don't really have a lot of integrity

because now you put yourself in a position where the money was more important than anything else but you know what I don't know what I would do in that situation either people think people think that about me now because of this podcast I'm saying it's like. People think that about me now because of what I'm saying.

I'm saying it's like, look, they don't know Griffin. I'm saying it's like when people say Griffin, what do you say? You look, they don't know Griffin. Oh, they don't know Eric Griffin then. Yeah, I'm saying it's like when people think money's involved in something, no matter how much money it is, they question your integrity. Right.

Hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's that tried and true thing of like, you know, uh, if you make fun of somebody,

you really like saying something about yourself kind of thing. Right. You know, maybe he's conscious of this, that he has to work with Brendan shop. I don't know. I mean, yeah Maybe he's conscious of this, that he has to work with Brendan Schaub. I don't know. I mean, yeah, he's addressing working with Brendan Schaub without addressing working with Brendan Schaub.

He feels the need to have a justification without actually making a justification or making a justification, really, in a way. Really, he's just making catnip. Yeah, this is for chinks. Yeah. Absolutely. It's a spicy dish in reality.

Alright, so this one's posted by MinimumSky2305. It's called Brian Callahan Toe Holds. I love the toe holds. Just a random thing to be chilling. Chilling flip-flops. Chilling like very expensive flip-flops.

You know, that's like I would never want to be in that position. I don't really like wearing flip-flops. It's shilling like very expensive flip-flops. You know, that's like, I would never want to be in that position. I don't really like wearing flip-flops. But then on top of that, the flip-flops are like 500, 600 bucks or whatever. Yeah. It's the, it really shows T-Fat K, its essence, the essence of T-Fat K.

Let's see. If there are certain things that people do. Yeah, you're wearing sandals today. These are flip-flops. These are toehold flip-flops. They're $800. So $450. No.

$450. Why? These are the samurai. Well, they're the best flip-flops on the planet, and you'll never need another pair. Flip-flops, though, right? Ever, ever. Dude, yeah.

And they mold to your feet, and it's just Hermes. Saying something is the best flip-flops. 500 steps. Handmade, motherfucker. Yeah. It's like saying I want a gold at the Special Olympics. Yeah. No, it's not.

He's saying like you want a what? Gold at the Special Olympics. Oh. That was the first bad bit. The bit about when he shop goes is discount. That was funny. Then Jeremiah's riff on like the best flip flops, good riff, and then it's sunken because they got to make fun of handicap people.

These are the best flip flops on the planet. Yeah, take it easy. I used to own the company, but I don't anymore, or a part of the company. Well, you're pitching us like we want to buy something. It's still a great company. Best flip-flops, everybody. Are you going to cry?

None of us want sandals, dude. Don't say sandals. Please say flip-flops. Thank you. Pause. none of us want sandals dude don't say sandals please say flip flops thank you since like since he's not invested in toe holds any longer is there any way that we can find out

how many toe holds got sold because of this can toe hold do like a funny advertising bit where they make fun of the fact that Callan couldn't sell any it was like worse like oh yeah we went through some dark times here not unlike Bud Light

we made a horrible mistake which really is the worst mistake what Bud Light did with Dylan Mulvaney or what Toe Holds did with Brian Callan and he's trying to sell people everyone is Callan doing the Toe Hold thing everybody makes fun of him for it.

Not unlike how everyone knows that Schaub's an idiot. Yeah. Like in Callan's world, the flip-flops are Schaub. There's still more. Still more selling. He is selling toeholds for a minute and 31 seconds. Are sandals like a slur to the flip-flop

community oh yes is that that's like calling but the company's killing it right now bring up their uh no maybe let's not do this please let's not bring up their rash guard bring up their rash guard why are we doing promos for them we're not doing promos for let me say that the whole thousand minute promo what so what it's a great company but i just want to show you your job dude you guess what he's going to do? I think he's killing it in this one. One of us are into it. I want to show you this fucking

Here's a rash guard. We know you do a lot of jiu-jitsu. Hey, Chin, will you pull up that Danny DeVito clip again? Look what they're selling out in. This is so crazy. You know, Pete Rashgard. That's kind of crazy. That's what they're selling out. I wear a Rashgard for boogie boarding.

That's it. Boogie board? Yeah, dude. Is that a problem? Job. Never knows where to put his hands. Never, dude. Dicey.

Dicey. We still have one more clip. Okay. It's called Stingrays B and it's posted by minimum sky 2305 they say it's 50 times more potent than a bee sting oh yeah and it was bad dude it was sharks can smell blood from yeah was the barb in your foot no luckily like it had pulled out but what happens is it's like serrated where it goes in and then it pulls out on the outside. That's what they said, kill the crocodile hunter.

If you would have left it in, they could have had surgery. He would have survived. Yeah. But when it goes in, the barbs spread out and they yanked it out. Yep. And the only way to do it on a fear frame, right? Yes, it is. It's where I studied karate.

Oh, karate. It's where I became karate in a way. But you wear felt booties. But a lot of people who don't know don't wear felt booties. And my buddy saw a guy step on a rockfish, went into cardiac arrest right there. I mean, it's interesting. Shab is sort of like a redacted Steve Irwin. And he's a great guy to bring this kind of stuff up to

because he can explain to you in a very funny way how you got stung by the stingray and what it did. And you're like, that's not what happened. He's like, it is what happened. And then awful, awful Callan, his stupid voice. Afghanistan karate. Stop. Even if it's the right way.

Yeah. If you were the taco truck person and he came in and he said it like, como estas? Muy bien, gracias. Like all that stuff. Un bote de agua, as you know. He says it right. You're like, just say it. Yeah. It's awful. I do have a scoop that I didn't tell you about.

I was going to say death by a thousand sitting raised. Death by a thousand. That's good. That's a good bop. If this is blog bussa, then take it out. But I have a scoop. Do you want to hear it? Go for it. All right.

Let me find it. This was messaged to me by a cat. He's the guy I mentioned earlier that does artwork with Brendan Schaub. Remember that guy in Sweene's? Yeah. I'll talk to him to make sure this is okay to share. But he messaged me and he said, so I guess I finally matter.

Just got off the phone with Bapa himself. So he's on the phone with Bapa. Oh my gosh. And he actually paid me. Saw Bapa use my promo again, so I hit up Josh Wolf up, who I've worked with for in the past and he had boppa call me so weird but just a little little insider info possibly a boppa

redemption arc in the making and he sent me a screenshot of boppa paying him the thousand dollars he owes wow so you know if that's true well i mean not if that's true that is true he sent it um good for you, Bapa. A rare good deed. Who knows? There's a redemption arc in the process. We don't know. He won't redeem himself until he buys my mom a house. That's true. Buy us both a house. And then we're

good and also join our Patreon. Or have us on TFAK or come on T-MOS. Oh, yeah, yeah. Something along those lines. Alright. Hope you enjoyed it. See you next week. Bye.