10 Minutes of Schaub - Brendan Schaub REALLY WANTS SCORPION VENOM | 10 Minutes of Schaub #147

Episode Date: August 29, 2026

NEW REDDIThttps://www.reddit.com/r/raccoon_tweetiesJOIN OUR PATREON!https://www.patreon.com/raccoontweetiesJoin the discord!https://discord.gg/z7eSGTE6hGFollow Raccoon Tweeties on Social Media!https://linktr.ee/RaccoonTweeties

Me? Back to Tim Mrs. Shop. Thanks for tuning in. As always, join the Patreon. Join the Reddit. On the Patreon, we watch Patrice O'Neill, Elf in the room, when it draws his favorite specials.

Why are you going to do that? They have to find out on the... Oh, that's right. I'm sorry. I take it back. He hated it. Or did he like? We also do early access for this show,

so if you want to see this early... Do that, but that's not why they're here, Chin. No. They're here to put sugar. on their day. Yeah, we're here to sugarcoat it for a little bit. You guys are here to watch. Tim as a shop. Start the timer. Play the chin clip. All righty. So the first one is posted by Caterpillar Hot 753.9. It says, looks like Bapa also lost the race to the mothership. Oh. Because Palacese's there. At their first.

Mm-hmm. That's a painted narrative. I bet you Bapa was there on the tours. You know what I mean? Yeah, I mean, I'm sure he's been inside the building before. He's like best friends with Rogan. If anything, he was the first to get abducted. I don't know. By aliens. It's a mother ship. All right.

So I'll cut that part out. Let's see what's the next promotion there. This one is posted by basement cat 85, no ring on March 4th while taking a selfie in a public toilet. She probably took more than a selfie in that toilet. that if you don't know what I'm saying, Cooney? Well, you can Photoshop it out, right? Maybe they photoshopped it. But it is funny that she takes a picture and posts it.

I was like, who is this guy in here? It's his son. Oh, it's at Disney. Oh, they're at Disneyland. It's a great place to go with your dad. Why not take a picture when you're outside the bathroom? Right? I mean, no, you don't understand female creatures like I do.

They love taking mirror pictures. They don't like taking pictures of themselves. They like taking pictures of the mirror with them. Right. Yeah. And I'm sure this is one of the comments, but cropped out the uglies, right? Someone's cropped out. Let's see.

I like when you, uh, Babe Ruth's shit. Let's see. Oh, what the fuck? Someone taking a shit now. Okay. Here it is. Right there. Fancy fix.

Oh, crop out the ugos. Sorry. Fancy fix. Sorry. Um, let's see here. What's next? Well, ain't that just a kicking the nuts? posted by Clint Pooler of chips.

So I think the narrative this week is that they are having trouble in their marriage. Oh, fuck. So let's see. Both names. Can you imagine Yawanna marries this guy and she wants to keep her laugh? It's so crazy that they're talking about Yohanna Yerang Jacek and his wife's name is Joanna. Oh, yeah. I didn't know that.

It's so perfect. Both names. Can imagine Yonah Marries this guy. And she wants to keep her last name, but dash. His last name. Right. Dude. Bro.

Be straight. If you're... And then it shows that. Be straight. Wife did not want to take your last name. If you want to hyphen it, I would be like... I would have to slap her. Whoa.

Yeah. Man, they care about the dumbest shit. Who the fuck goes of shit? I mean, I would want them not. to hyphen my name too. Really? Yeah. Why? It's not about caring. It's kind of like that's a boundary, dude. You're going to take my name because we are fucking traditional here. And if I want food, you make me food. You're a big traditionalist. Yeah, dude. And if you're in a, if you're in a truck, it's like, how do you fit in that thing? Right. And if you get an F on a test, I'm talking to my kids.

Yeah. And you try to hide it and I find it. I'm going to beat the shit out of you, dude. I'm going to keep a traditional. Right. And like, if there's a fat kid on your team, You know, it's, even he hits home runs, like in a few years. Where's he going to be? Yeah. If you don't get any hits in the game and you want candy, you're not getting the candy, dude. No, we keep love inside to ourselves until you show us you're worthy of it. So I'm on Rogan side.

I would rather do anything than be talking out. How do I'm doing fucking? All right. I'm done. Like, honestly, I just want the transfer of names to happen. I don't care if I have to change my name. want to change my name, dude. Get the fuck out of Gerardo. You know what I mean? Their first name. Yeah, I'll take a girl's first name, dude. I don't give a fuck. Are you saying her last name is

your first name or her name? Anything other than Gerardo, dude. I would do, I would do anything. Then her not. It's just about the name, the name change. And name has to change, preferably mine. Like if their last name is what, Isis or something like this, I'll be like Isis Haller Khan. I'm cool with that. I'll just take the name. And then they got to change their last name to my last name. You know what? I think ISIS is this is totally off top. I think Isis a good name. Last name or first name?

First name. I like it. You do? I honestly don't think it's a big deal. I mean, ISIS is dead, right? We pretty much killed them or something? I don't know. I think, like, but if your name was ISIS, it makes your last name more racially charged in a way. Okay. My last name is Sharia law. There we goes.

Is it Sharia law. It would be better, yeah. All right. Let's go. Well, this ain't gonna work out. What are you talking about? What are you doing? You want to get married and you don't even want to take my name? Oh, we're out. Oh, we're out.

Oh, dude, so. Couldn't care less. I mean, it's hilarious if he's fully aware that his wife's name is hyphenated and he's making these jokes. Yeah, yeah, if he knew. Yeah, no, but yeah, that would be funny. But he's trying to just be one of the boys right now. And then even trying to, he's doing bits.

Like, he's aware. He's like, yeah, I'm out. Like, making fun. of them almost. Oh yeah, never, never. And then they goes home and laughs about it with us, like, you the idiots today. You know, I do this character where I pretend to be stupid, flip my truck

and everything. You won't believe with these morons that it's all about the money. We're very rich. We're moving to Austin. Sure. Who cares? We're rich. I don't care if people think I'm stupid. I'm a genius, really. Honestly. Have you seen a grow up? The Reddit is going crazy since I talked about hyphenated

names. I'm sure I would ever say in unironically ever heard of it. Yeah, Rogan's a fucking more than half. Rich though. Very rich. You got it. Well, this ain't going to work out, buddy. Oh, my God.

Come on. All right, let's go to the next one, dude. You try to. This is Bapa dude trugwogs posted by a simple schmucks. You know, this is when it's pretty slow at chains, but we just see nothing but reheats. This is a reheat for sure, yeah. It's, but I don't know if you're catching what I'm catching.

What happened? How long is this chin? Long. Seven minutes and 39 seconds. Let's see how long we make it. Wog any letterman to your truck. No, it does that make sense? No.

Okay, so then follow up. Why does it not make sense? Why does that make sense? You know, it's her perspective. I didn't really. he was being so bullied that he was afraid for his life is what he was saying and I guess when he asked me to walk into the truck he wasn't wanting to do sexual favors I'm so embarrassed by that but he needed like an escort because he was scared that the haters were going to come from

I don't even remember that one Annie come on our show please Annie you got to come on it doesn't make sense just it literally it just it doesn't make sense for you not to at least you know talk about a little bit what matter come on come on raccoon tweeties this Don't come on 10 minutes of job. Look, come on anywhere. Pause. Oh, my God. I like this.

Yeah. Well, we know it's not from Brennan Chobb because the thick was one C. It's probably AI. And that takes away from it a little bit. And, yeah. But I like R&B. I love this. Yeah, I love it.

You're crazy. Oh, seven minutes only? Let's get it longer, dude. Yeah, looking like a fool is your talent. Shouldn't take your blessings for granted. That's why every new venture you have to quit. In every story you're somehow the hero. If you don't check it, reality will crush your ego.

King Roe felt bestowed. How did L.A. go? How did football go? Dude. How does it fun how it's podcasting go? Custom numbers ain't growing. They'll never come back. The finale is approaching.

It's not your resume. Over replay that you got. A claim to win the race when you were never ahead. How does not do it was podcasting going. Might as well end it. Custom numbers ain't growing. Ain't right? Netflix versus podcast.

Dude, this is low-key the best song I've ever heard. I really like R&B. Mm-hmm. You know, and it's getting all of the classic, R&B like tones and changes and stuff like that. It's good stuff. A little too mean, though. The lyrics get a little mean.

Really? They go a little too mean for me. Because I wanted to continue. I don't want it to end. But the song is great. I like the way it sounds. Well, it's, I think, you know, you got to like, it's not how he really feels.

The computer or whatever. Sure, sure. It's, things just rhyme. Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. Approaching. It's also a literal. just what Ariel Hawani said to him.

How are these things going? That part's fine. I'm talking about like, you know, you should just end it. Oh, don't end it. Yeah. Yeah. It's not your Rizome, overinflated. You got a big head.

You would claim to win the race when you were never ahead. Practice. Not the game. You're talking about practice. When you're talking about playing in the NFL, you should be humble. Getting lucky making money when you need a speaking spell. Many on your side until we started to see your behavior.

You're not that guy fortunate to have met your Lord. You're not that guy. Used to being able to move up despite failure after failure. Get the hit Joe doesn't want you around offering everyone but you to buy them a home and some acres. It's not just the old one that needed things to figure out. Big boy nation. Big boys down. Ain't getting up, used up all of Joe's cloud.

Imagine you go to work and you have to do this with your boss, dude. And also, I'm going to be honest with you. It's getting a little long. me. We're finishing it. But imagine having to go to work and just like dancing in a garage. Oh, I don't like any of that kind of stuff. You know, like the new thing with a Jennifer Hudson where they have people walk and

dance. I want to do that. I don't. I'm down. I hate that. Especially imagine working there and they make you clap. Okay. See, that's where I'm saying.

But if I'm the guy going in and getting interviewed by Jennifer Hudson, your daddy's going to dance. That's not how he says it, right? Daddy's going to dance. I guess I would, I guess I'd do it because I feel like I would. need to. It would be the funniest fucking thing if Cooney danced down the aisle. You don't got to do it every day either. You just got to do it once.

I wouldn't want to, but I feel more for the staff. Pretend like yeah. Oh, whoa, whoa. I hate that. That'd be so funny if you walk out of the dressing room and you're just pointing out the staff like, you guys are stupid.

You suck. I rip on that. They wouldn't post it on next. Probably not. Oh, yeah, it is getting long, but we're going to finish it. If we're just looking at what you've been able to accomplish. It's quite remarkable, but you over embellish. We got to see how you use the people around you to your benefit.

Even your newborn daughter, how selfish. Homeless cats don't just feed off of you. They relish and cherish. They say cogressions the world would know because the truth will set you free at the P of Chang Purge. That brought me that for a pretty. Stop sucks. Okay, I'm back in.

But, but such short-sighted dance here. Yeah. You know? I mean, this is, you know, there's a reason why our dads never did something like this. I'm so happy he didn't. Right? Yeah.

The reason is it's redacted. Our dads wouldn't do this, even though they loved us. There's videos of my dad dancing in Caesar Milan. So there's that. Dancing as Caesar Milan? He looks like Caesar Milan. He bought a, sure, or what is it called, Blazer? Uh-huh.

That's very Caesar Malani. And he does dances like this. but it's not with this fucking dick tight suit. I have to learn to speak for myself. Good dude. Well, your dad doesn't look like fucking Caesar Milan, dude. That's fair. It's like,

that's like, that's why you think your dad's cool? Does he look like Susan Mal? Okay, he doesn't. Okay. You probably use straws. We're done. 30 seconds of no more singing than I think we're out. Yeah, this goes on and on.

Check it out. It's great. It looks like the ending is some talking. Do you want to see this? I've never seen it? Let's see here. All right, so this is the ending. It sucks that you can't sell tickets.

Oh, yeah, you do tell a lot of tickets. About that. Oh, man. And that's the thing, man. We've come a long way. I don't sell merch either. No. That's what he said.

No. No, we've come a long way. and that and and and and there's a lot no yeah what are you gonna I mean what are you gonna do oh dude I've had I could die tomorrow I've had a great fucking life I've had I'm a cat

I've had nine lives career wise I played football and it was such a good time I was in the UFC oh my God the things I did it was so cool stand up are you joking me dude you're joking me dude Why would you say that? I don't know.

He doesn't care. He has no, he's a fucking, the master of cringe. This is, I think, around the time where I was like, we should probably stop doing the show because he's losing his mind. Yeah. But he brought it back. I mean, you thought he was losing his mind, but then he didn't start any truck. You know, but then he didn't start any truck.

Oh, my God. So the best times ever. I'm so lucky. I've done cool shit. I've done cool shit with this guy. Truck kill away. But then he started doing truck giveaway. He turned it all around, dude.

But, but, but, but, dry fast all guys. That's. We've done cool shed. Yeah.

Nothing. We've done cool shed. They have a cool shed in the back. A lot of sharp tools. Yeah, honestly, you wouldn't put it past them. They might have been saying shed. Yeah. A lot of bright crayons in the shed.

That he tries to eat. A lot of sugar. Nothing is better. It's true. In that. Oh. If he's on Matan, Matan's like, what color crayon do you think is the most delicious?

He sounds eloquent about it. Well, tickle me pink. You'd think would be good. Unmallow yellow. It's different. It's different. All righty, let's go on to the next one. Sorry for playing a long song.

We didn't play half of it. This is posted by Jesse is so good. I'm a good guy, man, part three. We're part one and two. The level 10 of rain. It's Brian Callan. I'm still laughing at you.

We started the show because we thought he was going insane. Okay, that's so funny First of me, this copper, he's a soldier head of a canine wrote me a long email saying,

I will never, I've always loved your work, I wanted to, I'd stop and punch my car's window because my dog died in my chest because there's my service dog I guess in the military and you played that

and you guys were actually making light of it. But I'm sorry, if that caused you turn off the show, we don't need you. This isn't the show for you. You're finally going after anyone who harasses you online including comics, that you have spent

half a million dollars on monster lawyers and that you have friends in dark places who are going to get the job. You can do whatever you want. I'm just saying, is that nice? That's so funny. He thought he was going to win at that point.

But is that nice? Like, did you think about whether that was like a nice thing to do. What are you talking about? Brian was just being nice on the phone. Yeah, was that nice? When he was yelling at Bobby Lee? He's going to take his career way?

Is that nice, though? Do you respect Brendan Shaw as a comedian? Grim Reber Kim and Hocker. Wow, dude. Uh-oh. It is like a... It is like kind of a cool con, though, to be somebody that threatens violence all the time. But follow that up with, I'm a good guy.

You know? Listen, I will fucking kill you. But at the end of the day, I want to be your family. I want us to be brothers. Don't call me a pussy. Because I'll kill you. But I'm a good guy. Yeah.

It's always, you know, it's crazy because he's such a nice guy. That's great. Not only will I kill you, but I will be unfazed in office. unscathed. Yeah. With the Diet Coke. It's funny. That's kind of funny to be like, I will be unscathed,

like saying essentially that no harm at all will come to me. I can kill you. So why not just if you, if you're so confident in your fighting abilities, maybe one, a few punches. You don't, you beat them up and you're, you let them alone. Or just don't fight. Because if you, it would be like me talking to a six-year-old. Yeah.

And I'm like, listen, me and you, I'll fucking end you. Okay, you won't stand a chance. All right, I will leave on Skateh because they're six. But I wouldn't do that. If you're so confident that you can do that, you shouldn't do that. Yeah. Right? Yeah.

Or maybe, I don't know. You do have violence in your DNA. That's true. I do. Yeah. Let's see. This is posted by ABTB12. Is Theo trolling.

Happy, oh my God. One of the, you see this? One of the hardest for his first workers ever. That's really funny, but I feel like Theo's checked out. He probably didn't even know that thing, the white boy that worked too much. Oh. So this is a troll then, dude. That leads you to believe this is a troll.

Maybe. What is he doing? What is who doing? Stand-up comedy. Oh, my God. Yeah. I just noticed that. I'm dumb, dude.

Yeah, no, that's... But why would... There's too many layers. I don't understand. This is a recent thing Shob posted? Or Theo Vone. Theo Vaughan shared a picture of shop doing shut up Let's pretend like I did on purpose

Theo van shared a picture of Brendan doing stand-up Yeah that's the troll That and then on top of that He's got a motherfucking Sorgon bird Growne Yon emoji I forgot that So many on the Patreon message me about that I forgot that was the Sorgon bird emoji too

One of the hardest workers I ever met Met him This is like way too many Then again shop does have a lot of shop So maybe Theo just ran into four of them. I think it's possible that Theo is so checked out that he's like, oh, here's a picture of Brennan. But doing stand-up? But you could easily go to his podcast and screenshot him on a show now instead of when he was doing stand-up.

Theo only has one picture of Brandon. Yeah. And that's this one. Maybe that's Theo's background. And he's like, it's just to love this picture. Yeah. Or maybe Theo's assistant tweets or that his eye tweet for him. And his assistant is homeless.

Yeah. I mean, because the tiger, but like people talk to us all the time. Yeah. I forgot, yeah. The higher-ups tell us what to do, but like the interns and the producers and stuff. And we tell them to stop giving us money,

but they don't. Oh, I don't. Yeah. Oh, you don't? All right, let's see here. This is posted by Various Concept 2615. So how long before he buys a cyber truck after shitting on Tesla for the last two years?

Yeah. We talked about this last episode. I just don't see him doing it. I don't see him doing it. It is a truck, though. But it's fucking gas till we die, Doc. All right, let's see this. Photoshopped, posted by E-T-I-D-1986.

That's good. Yeah. I don't know why that makes me laugh so much, but it's funny. You know there's a new post on Drive Fastel Gas, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I haven't watched it yet. I have it on my queue.

Me neither. Let's see this. Okay, that's Bitcoin. Posted by Fantasy Flyer 3. Klan and Hot Chip are on the sub more frequently than many cats. They updated the description just could hours after a fellow cat expose them.

Oh, they updated the description after a cat exposed them. There's only one picture that I wish we could see the before. Yeah, I don't know what, but that's interesting that they're doing that. Yeah. Nothing better to do. All right.

Surprise, surprise. Okay, so this is something We're going to be watching this week, I believe. This last week, Burke Kreischer's... That's how you're spelling, right? Burke Kreischer. Uh-huh.

Okay, his special came out last week. Yeah. But we record on Mondays, so it wasn't even out yet. Yeah, yeah, I realize that too, yeah. But that's... We're going to do that on the Patreon. Yeah, fuck me.

This is posted by C-Man, Dr. Beanus. We'll be doing this. special on this week's Patreon episode. Lucky is worse than Greengo Poppy. Scrolling through Netflix when I came across Bertson's special, I've never seen him do stand up, so I decided to give it a shot and it's unwatchable.

I don't want to see it, dude. I don't take this guy's word for it. Okay. Yeah. Thank you. Immediately he takes off his shirt, talks about sex, talks about sex with his wife, all while laughing every single time he makes a quote, joke. and quote,

I keep waiting for the punchline. I skip through the special and it's mostly saying bad words and embarrassing physical humor. He even mimicked fallatio on the mic so well it gave Rogan's stool-humping

and run for its money. But what about Rogan's falatio on the mic? Let's not forget that. This guy's sleeping on the conch, dude. That's my special name, sleeping on the conch. I genuinely think

Gringo Poppy is a better special. Brenda makes me laugh. His flamboyant manner Now you're on his side. Look at you're crying. You're almost crying. Now I'm worried. Now you got me worried.

His dushy outfits, the way he incoherently strings together bits, it's top-level cringe that has me actually laughing out loud. In its own way, it's an effective piece of art. I struggle to find anything of value in Bert's work. This special repulsed me. He is devoid of humor. If Bert plays the mothership, so should Brenda. Did you see the shoulders, though?

Absolutely jacked. All right. I mean, I'm still intrigued. We'll be watching it, dude. If anything that got me to want to watch it now, how bad it is. Yeah. But it's just, it is, it is,

I don't know if cringe is the correct word. It is the correct word, but there has to be a new level. I just don't understand how it could be worse than the last one we saw from Bert. That was horrible. Yeah. And you can also watch that in the picture.

Yeah. There's comics. All right, so we all know who he's talking about, posted by Chin, puller of clips. Is this a new one? That I don't think they're very good.

They don't make me laugh, but I don't care. I don't get mad at them. You know what I'm saying? I don't get upset at them. I mean, I'll be friends with them. I'll be,

I'll like them. You know, there's comics that I, and I had to learn how to do that because it used to be like, if guys weren't funny, I just couldn't deal with them, couldn't hang out with them.

I'm friends with a few people that suck. But they're nice people. You know, you can separate that. Oops. I can even. I can even. Dude, Rogan is insane.

It's like he has no... His stand-up is just as bad as everybody else's. It's not... It's nowhere near funny. None of his specials are good. He's just not good at stand-up. And he's like, I got friends that are bad. You're bad.

You are bad at stand-up. It's like the Shane Club. You are literally an unfunny guy. Oh, I was not fair. So this is... This is posted by Chud Muffin Zero. Love Crackamico's new drop. Say what you want about Burt being annoying, which he is.

At least he's trying to figure it out. Meanwhile, all the clingers on talk shit and still climbing that podcast ladder. I think this is the new song. Have you heard the new song? The Burt one? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's funny. Savage Fire. I like how he's flowing on this song. Yeah, I mean, crack is on another level. We got a crack problem, y'all. Yeah, let's see. Shut up. off for a second.

Come on, talk to me about me. Let's make it all about Bert. That's what Bert likes. That's what Bert likes. Because if it bothers people, I want to stop. Oh, it bothers people. But it's, oh, it bothers people. Oh, it bothers people.

You don't have the capacity to do is not to make it all about himself. Not make it all about himself. Not make it all about himself. You're letting people pull you and they're trying to change your thing. And they're friends. On the machine. Leave the league. Y'all better stop being mean to me. You about to bring out the me machine.

Race in my pocket, got that made is talking. Too lazy cop it with birdie to tappy. Now, hypocrite homies is piling on top of me. Too lazy. You said too lazy shout out. Love it. Be my friend. I got one single policy. We don't be mean. We don't be mean. We don't be mean. We don't be mean. We don't be mean to mean to me to me to me.

You got to bring out the mean machine machine. Me machine. Me machine. Me machine. Me machine. You got to bring out the mean machine. Alert I'm about to take on my shirt Dude So fucking good Yeah

I mean And part of it is like He wraps just like A rapper would Like in different The change I don't know how to describe it But burr

Alert That's such a funny way Like to Go into it Yeah It's great Yeah Yeah

Yeah I'm gonna be I put I bit bitch I'm gonna be retarded And fair I'm making it work

I'm making it work I'm My kids from the comments With dollars But now more boys Making it worse And no loyalty Not my heart broken

Got that boy In my back from Jerugan Got a hit back with the truth No I'm stupid At least I can tell When I'm a motherfucker joking Faxin like 84 Hogan No factor I fear you be teaching

Tybo and hoboogia Act like you yo but it's mavers and smoke bitch I'm leaving your toy body broken I throw up 325 on that bitch I take your life in it bitch Fuck that jujitsu I said on you Sweetie you five foot and six Not even the size of my shits

Oh and you're welcome for sober October That shit would have been boring without me Say I make everything about me Guess I be cooler if I act as smart And turn into a billionaire mouthpiece Oh Tom Segura Listen to fuck up while I'm talking to you.

My son and I and Grada, I'm taking the stick, model for the team. Better sing, allelujah, haka-toa. Skimmy fans driving a lamb, now they can't relate. I'm slamming cans getting hammer with them every day. It's too late for the good grace.

They be knowing your fate. Go over the wreck. Every dollar you can't wait a way. Now you're throwing me to the wolves for the sake and my mind. I don't want them on my team. Depress and a freaking man's dressing. That's right.

That's right. Now, why don't trust crack and I never will. Back on point, I'll just not understand to me. When I take my shirt off, I'm just starting a party. Not living out. I'm a hack, but I never shit on a stage. Ain't no pervertist pulling my balls out.

Bitch, I'm such a good friend with you drug to rape me. I forgave you to keep us from falling out. Ari and Joe are not funny. You stars to make money on both of them chose to throw away. Just a bomb and boomer and his chronic tumor. Ari Einstein and the Adjola gave a bomb. We don't be mean. Me, me, me, me, me, me.

We don't be mean, we don't be mean, we don't be mean to me to me to me. You got to bring out the mean machine. Me machine. Me machine. Me machine. Me machine. You got to bring out a mean machine. Name machine.

Amazing machine. Amazing. Shout out Cracker Miko. That was great. Fire. Savage. Yeah. All right.

What else do we got here? This is posted by shitty tunic. Shifty tunic. It's too far away. Clint's dumb ass hasn't updated the Golden Hour clips YouTube channel distribution in Lincoln in like four years. So this is the clip that preceded the other Treschen or the chin that preceded the other chin. So, oh, they saw Theo's tour dates on it.

And the cats. Isn't that the, yeah. Cats merch. Oh, the king of the sting. Yeah. So they changed it to the golden hour. Come on, guys. It's hard to produce this.

I haven't uploaded a Spotify episode than three months. This is posted by Appropriate Duty 930. Nothing says dedicated mom like a flawless bathroom selfie while the baby plays the role of background decor. It's just her thing at this point, guys. I mean, you do a bit and you're committed to the bit. Don't you guys get it? You get it.

Yeah. The ring is for the ring not being there to be funny. Yeah, she's never had a ring. Yeah. They're not ring guys. Neither her nor shop. Number guys. Yeah.

How many rings you got? How does it even fit on that finger? All right. Chalistastics posted this one. It's called 24 views. Six minutes, 24 views. Come on. The first Hum V6.0 power stroke swap.

Okay. I mean, when you're trying to break new ground, you're not going to just like get into it like that. You know? Yeah. It takes a rough four months to make this episode. So it's going to take four months. months to get like 100 views. It's a really good title. Yeah. And that's like half the battle is

having a good title. First, I'm V6.0 power stroke swap. Yeah. Everybody's going to watch that eventually. Oh, this is so funny. The first comment is, hell yeah, I've been re-watching your last videos over and over again, waiting for the next video. LOL, God bless. Dude, somebody check on that guy if that's a real person. I mean, that's probably me. And if you're a real cat, you would leave positive comments on here so that we keep getting this amazing stuff. Please watch. Yeah. Please watch. Try, Fethefax. sell gas. Email, merch.

Yeah, buy the merch. Yeah, enter the giveaways, dude. You could win a Mustang. Sorry,

you can win a Mustang. Mustang, Sally. All right, this is posted by dazzling Rabbit 633 ask away.

Ask us anything. T-Fat K fans. I mean, they're just asking for it, aren't they?

Yeah, they want a person to patient. I don't know about doing that. It was a dangerous idea for them.

Yeah. People on Reddit can be mean. Mm-hmm. You know that. This one's posed by Rabbit 023, LMAO. Jealous of you, the... Okay, so who posted this?

Joanna. Jealous of you, the only girl who's... Be better than me will be my own daughter. Female boss, success. Women are hating on her? Interesting. That's too bad. I'm sorry to hear that.

These are facts, she puts at the bottom. She should have just put a fax machine. Or Andrew Schultz's face. Yeah. Savage. Fart. This is posted by Jabist. Old episodes. Steve Brun tells stories of how big a scumbaggobbite Brian was with women,

and they all share a big laugh. I mean, sign me up, Daddy. Let's see. There's a table full of girls at a Denny's booth, okay? This is Brian Cowlton 10 years ago. Hey, girls, just looking for a place to dump all this. Is that close to the market? That's my inside voice. That's all.

Guys, that was my... That was my inside voice. I didn't see that. That's the voice inside my dog. My big old dog. Is that close? That's spot on, sir. Yeah, okay.

Be ladies. Problem is I haven't changed at all. White worms. Oh, white worms. Dude, he still does this. It's him. Hey, man. He still knows this shit.

Hey, Steve, you're outing. Yeah, Steve knew me back before I was married when I was, um, I was appalling. When you're a scumb bag? Oh, yeah. Incheon that you're doing right now? Oh, no, I've heard it 30 times. I was in New York City.

This is, I didn't even know you yet. And I'm staying outside the comic strip with this girl who I was just like, oh, this girl's amazing. She's beautiful. I finally landed like a New York City 10. This is great. Callan comes out. Doesn't even know me.

Beelines to the girl. Hey, where are you from? How are you doing? And he's doing this ballet shit. And he does a pirouette on the sidewalk. I'm like, who the fuck is this asshole? And he's like, oh, I got to go and do it. my set. Do you want to come in? And he grabs her hand. I go, dude, what the hell's going on here?

Completely ignore me. Full on doing ballet because you must have studied ballet or something. Yes, I did study. You're a bully. But he sized me up and he goes. Yikes. I mean, how many people do you think have said, who the fuck is this asshole about him in his life? Probably so many. I feel bad. I like Burns. And it's too bad. He's kind of being brought down in this club by his association. But don't judge him. He's just telling you like a knows. Sounds like a guy that had dinner with Christa Leah more than once. You know?

Yes. But don't shoot the mailman. Yeah, don't shoot the mailman here. But also. This one's posted by a busy middle 8108. Asteris going through the books. Found it right here. Brendan Chob.

What does that mean? Let's see. No, but also it's like the Rogan example, right? Oh, the only reason people know you is because of Rogan, whether it's you or me, right? It's like, man, you know how many people Rogan knows? So the only reason, if you see Rogan put somebody that if he puts them on, use his platform, is because he respects their work ethic. He's never, go through the books, he's never put on anybody who has a shitty work ethic.

Name one. No, you're right. In order to even run with that line, you better have your shit together. Otherwise, he's not entertaining. What anyone describe, anyone describe Brennan Chavez, someone who has a shit together. Fucking his own wife wouldn't. Yikes, dude. But it's funny.

Why would you say all this? Just do your show. Yeah, you don't need to address the haters, B. Post and ghost. They do this all the time. Oh my God, dude. Anyways, let's see this. Act like you own the plate.

Posted by the Boston Bowl, too. Did he say that? Probably. Parasite filmed by Bapa June Ho. One of the spiciest dishes of the decade. Hilarious. It's good stuff. Parasite. Great movie. You never seen it.

Toe holds. What does it say? Act like you own the plate. at the bottom. That's great. I hope he has said that, dude. Yeah, that's a good one. Bapa has an inside man at the UFC. He also says, any facet, posted by

haphazard. And this is a haphazard classic where he just takes the first five minutes and he finds the chin right away, dude. What else you get to get into that UFC thing real quick? Which UFC? Them, like, beefing with ESPN, because remember what happened the last time we had a pay-per-view? Yeah, I'm not going to say my...

source. But go ahead, bring it up. Hold up one second. I'll directly read this source. So I, for a hot second. Okay, go ahead. I'll read this. You want to read this part first, sir? So it says, UFC Chief Dana is reportedly aiming for a blockbuster mirror at a deal worth billions with Netflix as their

partnership with ESPN appears to be in bad shape near its and UFC signed a $1.5 billion deal with the world leader in sports in 2019. However, the partnership has led to much frustration. Not really. Just this last one. During the U.C. 313 early in March, the issues continue to cause problems with viewers, prompting White to address them in a post-fight press conference. Keep going down. Oh, yeah, it made it to me. They were having problems

by an ESPN Plus. I don't know what happened with their platform night. There were a lot of pissed off people. Moreover, the UFC brass is reportedly unsatisfied with ESPN. That's not true. Well, the network is unhappy with the paper you numbers, being weighed down. Not true. For UFC cards, as a result, the leading MMA pro was said to be looking for a new home in 2026 if the mishap to continue.

Reports have since suggests that Netflix is a frontrunner for the UFC media rights deal. Furthermore, the UFC is allegedly ditches traditional paper you model. Not true in any facet. I told you guys that they will never do that. That's a proven concept. They would never do that.

What do you thinking? I didn't mean, I think the opposite is true of whatever he's saying. So it says, UFC is legit in the traditional pay-per-view model to potentially have a separate monthly subscription with the Netflix framework. Now this is true.

None of this is true. That's so funny. True. I have a very good inside source. I thought he said, now this is true. Do you say now none of this is true? He said none of this is true. Okay.

Now, see, I said UFC will be, they're going to do what the NFL does, where some of it's in Amazon, Monday night football is on different networks Thursday night football Sunday football they're kind of on a bunch of different networks That's what the UFC's gonna do So

Let me read this without giving away who it is He has to sell himself out Right away he's like Let me not give away who it is Jorge Mosvidal says Originally Post from New York Post So this person Says

from the New York Post isn't accurate in any facet. Netflix isn't even the highest better. He didn't say in any facet. No chance. It's him texting himself? I don't know. Or is that like a popular word amongst fighters, or phrase rather?

That would be funny if it was. They all say it weird. Yeah. I mean, sometimes it gets out there and then every athlete says the word the same. They'll get out of this unscathed. Is in the text. At the moment.

Don't be shocked. if the paper views and four big fight nights stay with ESPN and the apex fights go to Netflix and or Amazon. If the UFC wants that mainstream 24-7 coverage, they stick with ESPN and the pay-per-views make sense there.

The apex shows will be on Netflix like WW Raw. Raw. So they're going to be a little all over. But as far as them have an issue... Why does he put an L at the end of Raw? That's a good question. Same with Royals, Roy.

Oh, yeah, okay. Then that's why he does because he can't speak. Yeah. Raw. Like, I would understand if you're saying like Rawl after, it's like the L comes after Raw. Raw. Yeah, okay.

No, I'm dumb. No. The ESPN, they don't, I'm a mishap to understand. Definitely can't keep happening. But, yeah, the UFC's can be all over. But you'll get those fight nights, some of those fight nights.

on Netflix. And then you'll, don't get it twisted. The UFC is a proven pay-per-view success. They have a business model. They would never, ever give that up.

They would rather do anything. Then give that up. And sign all their, all their meteorite deals to Netflix, including pay-per-view. What was that? That was in the studio. Someone's beeper or something.

Somebody has a beeper. And T-Fack, I wouldn't put it past. And sign all their... Second job, third job. Chin's a doctor at a hospital. Sorry. You're right. Deals to Netflix, include pay-per-view.

That's not a fire alarm. Oh, that's so funny. The fucking methane detector's going on. What was that? The battery is low on one of their many devices. Yep. On shop. Chin has an ankle monitor.

He got arrested for a DUI. He can't move to Austin. In four years, it doesn't work out. And then like, oh, hey, Remember that Netflix you were paying for every month and it included our fights? Well, we're going back to pay-per-view. They would never ruin that. That's just bad business.

Get that out of your head now. So all these reports are off. I can guarantee that. What else you got, Jen? I like when people act like crazy things don't happen sometimes. Yeah. They're like, they would never do that. That'd be so stupid.

Next thing you know, Luca Donch is just traded to the Lakers. Yeah, yeah. I'm sure, I mean, whatever he's suggesting is insane. It's not. Yeah. The opposite is true. All righty. Let's see here. He thinks people are like at newspapers just wasting their time. Making things up. The whole paper's made up.

Fake news. Playing with fire around rinks posted by complacent exhausted. And as I was saying that too, I'm like, they probably do, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Nothing is real. Let's see here. Oh, well. Honestly, for me, I don't want to say this, but since I'm not circumcised,

I'll have more protection doing that kind of stuff if I didn't. have any like legs like her. Yeah. That's the advantage. Well, you guys are fucked. Well.

He was scraping. So we got two circumcised what unscumcised. I'm glad we went over that today. Yeah, Chin has that elephant. What are you doing, bro? Stop.

It's not a good look that the woman yelled stop the loudest. Yeah, no. Oh, that's hilarious. Playing with a squeeze. Playing with fire. He just can't help.

going to pull it out. Someone's got a lot of comments in them. A leopard con loose in Austin posted by Caterpillar Hot 7539. This is a great Photoshop. Happy St. Patrick's Day, everybody. Oh, my God. Let's see here.

Got a lepricon problem, you know. This is posted by DC32. Homeless cats are spreading. who is more pretentious. Bradley. Do you start crying over Brinstein in front of the next side? Okay. Great guy never made.

Tom about Bradley. Who the hell's Brad Africa? The Democratic Republic of Brad. Man, other people rating that's being like, what are they talking about here? Okay, buddy, xenophile. Dude, cats are all over, read it.

Wow. Yes. Hey. Hap hazard posted this one. Snake oil meets scorpion venom long cathartic. So this is the last clip for the day. Shout out to haphazard. Shut out.

Giving us these long chins to clip on the show. A master of the chip. Let's see. Ready? Six minutes and 27 seconds? I'm strapped in, dude. You strapped in? Double check.

I'm taking real scorpion venom, son. You are? You're putting it under your tongue? Yeah. That's so interesting. Where do you get it from? Wow. What's that sight?

What's that sight? You're just like, whatever. Yeah. Damn, is it? It's blue squirrel. Scorpion.com. This stuff really works? Yeah.

And it worked right away? Okay. Probably two. I took it two days and I wasn't, I was like, I feel good, but I don't want to fuck up my army even worse. I was going to go in the gym and just do things that I can. I'm like, holy shit. I wonder who, how'd they figure that out?

Who started milking the scorpion? Yeah. He was like, yeah. I remember while I was talking that he said he ripped his biceb apart or whatever. Mm-hmm. And who milked the scorpion? Who started milking the scorpion? Some guys like, I don't know why I would think they're Australian,

maybe because they're seven days ahead. And he's like, oh, then now we're going to milk, milk the scorpion. Make sure he doesn't sting you, though, because then you die. And the milk goes in soaps you can't really put in in a bottle. You don't use a straw. I'm bringing British all of a sudden. You don't use a straw, okay? That's important.

Men don't eat straws. You suck right out of scorpions. Dick. That little dude. and they're showing me how they milk and they put into four I don't have the video the guy was showing me on his phone they put in like

four sections so they milk rotate and they just keep going around there is there they're milking it comes out of the stinger part right yeah the Caribbean blue scorpion it's only how much do you take uh two milliliters

every morning every why does he do that to his lips dude Look at his lips Yeah, it looks weird and big It's like it's a drop under your tongue or something Yeah And it's pure venom

No, it's mixed with something It's expensive though Yeah dude Someone's milking a goddamn tiny scorpion It ain't gonna be cheap Yeah I wonder if this is complete bullshit And this is placebo or if this is reeks Per month

That's what I want I'm worth on me Doug I'm also on a lot of shit though Like in Jack straight BC 157 my fucking bice. Yeah. Yeah. Venom for cancer.

That's McGill University. It's a real university. Can you go to that for a second? McGill? Yeah. Right there. Wow. Cancer patients from around the world

have been traveling to Cuba for years to be treated for cancer with venom extraction from the blue scorpion. It all started in 1980s when blah, blah, blah, blah. Okay, go down, go down. Cancer patients around the world had been traveling to Cuba,

blah, blah. Okay. In 1990, a Cuban, whose daughter had pancreatic cancer heard about the scorpion of story and approached Shiva, who consented to give the girls some venom mixed with distilled water.

Mm, she recovered. And, yeah, one story. Yeah, one story. I just want to see if there's a way to study effects of venom on some 10,000 people with the company has published none of its research, which means they're full of shit. Demand did, however, it becomes so great that

Labiofam had to change its tact because it could not supply enough venom. So the company said it to produce a homeopathic version of the venom. Uh-oh. That means it's not venom. Oh, boy. So when... Shout doesn't care at all.

I like that. That Collins, like, determined to prove shot wrong here. Yeah, yeah. The homeopathic version of the venom, there's no venom, guys. He might say, don't count at the end. Don't count. Don't count. No, my guy got venom.

Here is that the homeopathic squirping venom treatment doesn't even make sense in the bizarre world of homopathy. According to the tenets of homeopathy, if the homeopathic solution of the venom is to cure cancer, the venom itself should cause the disease. There is no evidence that it does. Okay. Under the name Vitatox, the homeopathic version is now sold to Cubans for four cents and a foreignist for $220. It is not backed by Cuba's regulatory Bureau of Health Protection. Could there be something to the original version of the venom being affected? perhaps stranger things have happened,

but all we have are some anecdotes that are impossible to confirm. In the meantime, there are practitioners in several countries to offer the phantom treatment to desperate people. Are they actually using scorpion venom?

Who knows? Desperate. Maybe someday someone will carry out proper research and find... That last line. Even if there's something of the story of blue scorpion venom curing cancer,

the homeopathic version will not work. So you're taking that homeopathic version? Do you know what you're taking? For real? Water. That guy's an asshole. Go back to that.

Go back to that, That guy. Go back to this. Do me for it. Go back up. Go back up. I'm a fucking scorpion. Let me just do some investigation.

I got heavy skeptical hippo eyes. Yeah, as you should. Very much. Let me see what the bottle says. Yeah. Here you go. Yeah, it says. The way he said, here you go.

Here you go. It's kind of like, I mean, his face is saying like, fuck, stop reading, you know. Yeah, no, he's definitely squirming a little bit. Yeah. But, you know, he's back by... Science. Science, yeah. Oh, it's homeopathic.

So it's not venom. You're saying it's venom, but it's not. Well, no, it says blue scorpion. Okay, venom with APLS, Mepha and Ruse talks. Okay. Well, I'm... It says with... Can you look at the ingredients, please?

Venom with... Yeah, keep going up. Is there a back of it to say there's venom in it? Yeah, that's what I want to know. Is there venom? Active ingredients. There you go. Active ingredients.

Oh, it's derived from venom of a Caribbean blue scorpions composed of complex that makes you of peptides, amino acids, and minerals. It's a highly diluted homeopathic form. Okay, guys,

what that means is that there's no venom in it. If you look up the way they do homeopathy, it's literally just water. I mean, guys, that is such bullshit. What a bunch of bullshit. And then there's venom of bees.

Yeah, but it's homeop. Be venom He just wants venom Epathic There's no venom in it Wow Wow Unbelievable

Well Placebo effect brand Yeah No I feel like a scorpion Yeah God that guy's a That is That is a huge con

What bullshit You're saying there's venom in it And there's no venom All right Let me let me complicate this even further. Yeah. Do you think he's actually taking it?

Because I feel like, okay, so hear me out here. If he's actually taking it, I feel like he would be in defensive mode and be like, no, I've got the venom, you know what I mean? Yeah. Something's telling me that he just is advertising for that guy. Oh, shit.

That's not where I thought you were going to go with him. What did you think I was going to go with it? I thought you were going to say like he's just doing a bit for the show. Oh, okay. But yeah, More likely, yeah, he's like, he's advertising for the guy and he has, his brain is so small. He has no idea where to go with it now. Yeah. He might just, at the end of it, be like, yeah, well, you think that because you're gay.

He knows how to make himself look like the good guy. Yeah. If it's something that he's truly doing, you know what I mean? Right. He's throwing the guy under the bus. He's made the decision. He's like, well, I wanted to show for him, but that will look bad now. So I'm just going to throw him under the bus.

Mm-hmm. It's a highly diluted form, meaning, like, Like what? That there's none in there. Like, what are you doing? People are unbelievable that they can, that they'll just make a lot of money with some kind of a, it's literally a gimmick. You're spending money on the bottle.

God, that's so bad. And it sounds cool to say, look at that guy. Who is that guy? Yeah, it does. Right? That's a marketing. Oh, God. There's a guy like that out there who figured out a way to make money off of people who are just

either desperate. or too dumb to know the difference. I didn't pay for it or sent to me. There you go. You do it. Fucking. Jarto, nothing gets past you. Mm-hmm.

Big brain on Jarano. It was about to be the new sure shot, dude. Oh, no, I know. If someone's totally a blue veil. You're usually crazy skeptical about this shit. Venom bottles on the table? Yeah. That's too funny.

I'm still skeptical. Yeah. But if you're going to set it, I'll try. out. I'm glad we looked into this because I don't want to promote this guy's product when it's not even real. I was promoting real venom. It's not even real. I'm promoting real blue scorpion venom. So if you find one, one gets stunned on one. Right. And hopefully, man, that's got hurt, but maybe you get stronger. That people have to make. Turn to humor because he's so funny to say, you know, make their money off of basically bullshitting.

That's what that is. I've been taking water. Like you don't, there's no real venom in there. And, you know, it's like, and then he'll get shut down eventually or get found out, but he'll make millions. And that's, there are people that are good at being con artist. Do me a favor. I hate to harp on that guy. No, let's get off of him. All right. We're talking now.

Everybody's going to think we're far right racist. I am. Peaches. Delight. Delight. Anyways, yeah, that was great. That was long, but it was good. Great, where's that?

Greg Clap, never seen it. Yeah, dude. Would you take Scorpion Venom? I think I'd skip it Yeah I don't think so I'll just buy more water Yeah I mean I got all I need right here Yeah fucking Sarah gummy worm

Yeah dude that's facts Mm-hmm No you haven't tried the orange dream sickle dude That's true I haven't yet Mm-hmm we're getting ready for it Well shout out to you guys Thank you for coming through again dude See you next week

Join the Patreon Oh