10 Minutes of Schaub - Brendan Schaub SPENT THANKSGIVING ALONE! | 10 Minutes of Schaub #79

Episode Date: December 5, 2023

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Caught in a trap, I can't walk too, because I love you too much, Betty. Why can't you see, unbeknownst to me, when you don't believe a word XJ We can't trouble together With skeptical hippo eyes Skeptical hippo eyes And we can can fix our problems On Skeptical Hippo Eyes One day

Stop at my favorite time of the week When you get near Bob, let her try to speak Release surprises today You better act fair Watch 10 minutes of Shots Alright, welcome back Welcome back to 10 Minutes of Shots You better actually watch 10 minutes of shot. All right. Welcome back. Welcome back to 10 minutes of shot.

We're still getting used to the new setup. The camera is right there. Yeah. Yeah. So, uh, the, I'll just keep saying it. I got a show December 17th, the chatterbox and Covina. What do you got be December 28th? I'm opening for Eric Schwartz at the Ontario improv.

He just dropped a special called Delivery. Check it out and come check us out, B. Check out our boy, Eric. He's different. But anyway, and also we have a Patreon where we've been reviewing specials. We just dropped some new tears. Yes. The Rogan, Daddy Verse.

We talked about Joe Rogue's special from 2006. So if you're interested in that, check it out. But anyways, that's not why you're here though, right? No, you're here to watch 10 minutes of shop. So start the timer, play the chain clip. Alrighty. So let's check out what we got here today, dude. Uh, first clip we have for this week is this one here. It says the looks of a jealous man in parentheses, Callan selling tickets and doing comedy every weekend posted by Leach Shob. Let's see here, dude. Triple and Papa. Guys,

good news. December 7, 8 and 9 helium Indianapolis, Indiana Spokane Comedy Club, December 15 16 off the hook comedy club, December 21, 22, 23 in Naples, Florida. And finally, I ring in the near in Charlotte, North Carolina Comedy Zone. Come see me. That's all I got to say.

I'm going to London. I missed... What does he say? Should the shop mumble something? Oh, I think so. I think he says it's already been there, something like that. Guys, good news. December 7th, 8th, and 9th. Helium, Indianapolis, Indiana.

Spokane. Oh, that's Chin. It wasn't even out Yeah Interesting Very interesting So it's just that he looks bored Kind of

Do you think He's Kind of Jealous I think he's Upset that he can't think of a joke So he's trying to think of Like

The comedic brain is turning right there Yeah He's probably thinking like Well I already called him Geese Earlier in the episode He has no idea what to do Yeah I don't know Brain is turning right there. Yeah, he's probably thinking like, well, I already called him Keith. Earlier in the episode. I don't know what to do.

Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, no, I think he's not, I don't give a fuck, honestly, if he's jealous. It's his homie getting shows. Why would you be jealous of that? Yeah, Brian's his North Star, one of them. Brian, he's, if anything, he's probably angry that these aren't bigger venues. Like, it should be MSG, the O2.

The Sphere. The Sphere. That's where you should see Callan. That's why Shab is mad. Yeah. He wants Brian, as we've said before, to be bigger. He should be bigger because he's got these great bits about African singing men and fighting with guys with shovels and all that.

And I also don't think he's jealous because there's a lot of rhetoric on Chang's right now about Chin being jealous, dude. Or salty, rather. Yeah, Chin is salty because of the World War II thing and when did it end in the cities that were bombed. Well, we got quite a long clip here by a haphazard. It's called Chin is salty for being called stupid last episode. Oh, we were just talking.

Speak of the devil. Yeah, dude. How would Schaub say that? The devil speaks. Speak of the devil. Yeah. How would shop say that the devil speaks speak of the Satan or he goes. All right. What do you got chin? Oh, just a couple questions for you guys. So last week, you know, you guys

tell me the importance of dates and geography and all that stuff. So I'm just curious real quick. We'll start with Brendan. Your mom is this your way? Your mom is gay. No, no.

What if he brings up the birth certificate, dude? I wish that because I've seen some of this and that's what I wanted. I was like, I heard your mom and I that's exactly so best brains think alike, but he'll never like that. Not on airwaves. Everyone believes he's white.

Is this your way of getting back to us? No, no. This is just a fun thing we're doing here. Doesn't sound very fun. Dude, we'll find out. You said your mom's from England, right? Yes. So you're half English, basically. Oh, what?

So who's the current prime minister of the UK? I don't know. It's a tricky one? I don't know. It's kind of a, it's a, it's a tricky one. I don't know. I wouldn't, I wouldn't. He's saying it's, he's tricky. It's tricky because the guy's like, I think he's like Indian or something like that. Oh, so it's not Boris Johnson anymore.

No, no, no. That was, I think that was two ones ago. Cause there was like a woman I think before, but I don't, I don't know what the guy's name is either. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's like Sunni or something. I'll always find it funny when people want to be smart.

I wish I was smart, but there's not a chance, B. Oh, I wish I knew every prime minister. That would be great. If you knew every capital of every country and state, that'd be amazing. Yeah, dude. What's the country of Africa? What's the continent, right? What's the state?

I don't know dude tell the name if you said it all right so anyways we'll go back to that but uh brian you're born in the philippines yeah who's the current president of the philippines well it was dutarte right okay i don't know who it is now do you know chin do you know the answer this one uh hiroshima is the i'm just kidding bong bong marcos oh you're only stopped the clips because you know it yeah no i looked it up but he's like the son or grandson of like that guy marcos was the dictator i was surprised that there you get another dictator in there just an interesting fact from chin let's see here no okay no it's an oz don't look at me you're persian right

yes who's the current president's way of getting back is the current prime minister i'm actually attaching to things that are close to you because i got uh the korean war wrong right so that's what i'm saying man to hear him talk but i but you keep going jen should have known that oh oh actually i was gonna ask you well i was to ask you... Well, I was going to ask you the president of Mexico. Oh, that's right, because you're also... Your wife is Mexican.

Oh, shit, dude. Married a Mexican, y'all. Why is Brendan trying to keep his Latino under wraps, dude? Chen almost spilled the beans right there. He's like, because you're... I mean, your wife is... You think so? Yes.

That's an inquisitive face of a Latina right there. Do you look at that? Mr. Popper. These questions make me feel good because I know some of them, you know? Yeah. Like they're so, they're kind of dumb, right? So the questions are some, like if you might actually know the answer to questions that you'd ask them. Like Raul, was it Raul Labrador?

Is that his name? Something like that. I don't know. Yeah, something like that. Is the Mexico president Mexican president? But I'll never go on earwaves acting like I'm smart, dude. No, no, no. No. Yeah, neither of us would fit that description, dude. Cannon, your kids are

half Mexican. I just wonder if you don't touch Mexico. I don't know. I don't touch Mexico. It's Andreas. What? He doesn't touch Mexico. I don't know. I don't touch Mexico. It's Andreas. What? He doesn't touch Mexico, dude. Okay. He doesn't talk about Mexico on earwaves. Yeah.

He's talking about his research, B. Don't touch Mexico. Yeah. I would think Brian would know this because he knows like Afghanistan and all that. Yeah. Now when I know an answer, I feel like Brian. I feel like I'm being Brian. Oh, I know the prime minister of that when I really I googled the

Philippines one because I wanted to know after watching this clip but I didn't I didn't google the mix I just knew that one wow but I may be wrong because remember I said Dagestan was in Chechnya or whatever was wrong it's actually in New England fuck it's not playing last time I remember was Vincente fox that's all jappos kids

a lot of the stuff that i guess is it's hard for me to know the name yeah dude sometimes that happens though you know can i just be honest history oh god there we go yeah it's between a floating you were born in the philippines listen there's a difference between a floating head of state in a country because it's always changing. Here we go. It's not relevant. What does matter is knowing the seismic events in history.

That's all. I have another game for you guys. Oh, Chin was embarrassed. This was your whole point today. No, I'm not embarrassed. I told him not to be embarrassed because- By the way, Brian said, dude, you can delete all that. I said, what did I say, Brian?

Yeah, I said delete all that. I said no. I said no. My point was that a lot of times it's a pre-planned bit probably and they discuss this and then they're like it's a bit for the show, but I'm so

invested in this shit now that it's like I like it and I just believe that it's real. Like people that I imagine people watch soap operas and that kind of thing. I just enjoy the theater of it yeah it's redacted but we've all decided we're gonna be redacted right and i love it yeah i didn't expect to be a fan of t-fat k from doing this show no i mean i really didn't know what it was and i never

really watched it and now i'm like i still don't really watch i've only watched like the full episode once or twice um i tried to watch, like I was saying, I tried to watch the Adrian Peterson one and it was, the first 10 minutes were rough. So I turned it off. But you know, these clips are amazing. Yeah. If it's not relevant to your life,

you're not going to know. Yeah. I said I use my time to build new skill sets and stuff that I'm actually passionate about. Anyway, nor do you have to have time to focus on that with everything we're doing. Did you say cocaine? Oh, cocaine.

No, cooking. Oh, cocaine. I just spread rumors about chin. Fentanyl. Fentanyl. Baddies.

But this is just a little fun thing. Cause I honestly don't remember all the States, but if you guys want to do this, just put the abbreviations. Oh, that's a motherfucker. And then we'll fast forward it so the fans don't have to see us doing this.

Not fast enough, Quinn. Oh, they edited this then. And now the grades are in. How did we do? Okay. Brendan, you got 29 states right. Got a 50. It's not bad, dude.

29 states. What did they do?, dude. It's not bad. It's 29 states. What did they do? They just wrote the states on a map? I guess they filled in a map of states. Honestly, that's not bad. I'm surprised. That sounds like a lie. I so badly want to quiz you now, dude.

I don't think I would get... I mean, maybe. Maybe I get 29. I don't know. If Brendan really did that, I'm surprised. I would get upwards of 45, dude. Like the geography? You know what all the states are? Yeah. That's good.

Maybe I'm redacted, but I don't think I would know every state just by looking at it. I would get all 55 right, dude. I could get New England, and that's not a bit because I know New England. I'd probably get the top part of the South. Okay. And then California.

But I would be struggling on the other ones. So you'd be rocking 10? A Midwest, I don't know. Oh, okay. I don't know what any of the Midwest state, what the shapes of them are, right? Do you? Dude, I aced fifth grade, bro.

Fifth grade was a long time ago, Papa. I'd love to trust you. See, because I know I'm confident that I wouldn't do very well, but you're like, I got it all down. Sounds like a Kiwi diet. The Kiwi diet helps with your cognitive ability. So cognitive.

All right, let's go. And Brian, you got 31. Yay. I got 29. You got 31. 31. That's pretty pathetic, by the way. That's not great.

Sanat's got 40. Just kidding. Shut up. I did not. I didn't even you got 31. 31. That's pretty pathetic, by the way. That's not great. Sanat's got 40. Just kidding. Shut up. I did not. I didn't even count mine. 31 states. I didn't get any. And what did I get wrong?

It's my game. What did I get wrong? Fucking wild. I don't know. I'm just terrible with that stuff. It happens, guys. It happens, you know? Oh, that's Chin's way of...

No. You still don't know fucking world history. This is a fun... It was a fun game, right? Chin, you son of a bitch yeah i'm not no you know what chin you're a silent assassin no no i saw that but i saw it for a mile away as soon as i want to play a game he's like what don't they know he's like brian embarrassed me on fucking camera no hey remember brian you said that you could take it out like no we're not i don't i don't like that gotcha stuff because it has nothing to do with anything yeah of course you're just not it's not relevant to you yeah

it's not a big deal it's all good it's like the president of the film is not right and i know he was a conservative but i didn't know his name hey guys sometimes we get stuff wrong you know wow look at this. I think we should do the map thing on the next show. That's a bit. I'll print them out and we can just do them and actually see. I will do my real results even if it's embarrassing. I won't even study.

Don't study. I will not study. Do not study. I wish we could do it right now. You saying study makes me think you're gonna study you fucking snake all right i'm definitely not gonna study um although that is something i would do yeah i'm for now i'm glad you said that actually nothing about it because i probably would cheat yeah but i'm interested to see what if we don't do what if

i don't do as well as shop should that be a win for scoob i'll just cut it out dude we don't do it uh all righty so let's go to this one it's another hap hazard dude hap has been like on the addies on the grill dude yeah just cooking it for you but yeah we we thank you we thank him uh it's called he keeps forgetting about the allegations against Chris. Dicey, dicey, dude. Yikes. Let's see what this is about. Okay, well.

Can't hear you. In the meantime, I've got transition lenses, and I can't wait to get that Tony Stark shit going. When I do, it's on, dude. The 55-year-old ladies are going to be like this. My, my. Mr. Fantastic. Oh, my.

Dude, that Claire. Yeah. 55-year-old ladies. Well, I mean, once I get the gray hair, yeah. Or really young, you know, like college ones. Oh, man. Oh, dude. College ones.

Right. The secondhand pain I feel from that. I just, oh my God, it's brutal. Jesus. Like a car accident. Oh, that's awful. God damn, dude. When I get fucking gray hair, though, when I have 55-year-old ladies i'm gonna fuck i'm gonna talk about it we got some

old ladies in the crowd tonight i know i'm married dude but like these fucking 60 year olds bro they're like you do comedy they're like you do comedy yeah oh man only a thousand the only a thousand got comedy in them dude this one's posted by a successful egg uh three four five it's called adam sandler and boppa both were calling or both sorry we're calling that time they met oh oh man do you think he's just going to be talking about some random fan? Yeah, I think the clip is going to be like Adam Sandler saying a funny thing where if it's Schaub, it makes him seem stupid. Yeah.

And then Schaub talking about Adam Sandler like he does. Let's see. When's the last time you were in the midst of somebody where you're kind of speechless? Because you see people do this when they're around you. Were you ever that way? You mean about Superstar? Yeah. You know what the biggest moment was?

I was at a gym. And I go in the bathroom and he's in the bathroom. No. Sure as fuck. While his dick's in his hand. Please. Notice me? Please notice.

I'm that guy. I'm that guy. Oh, God. This is awkward. And then we walk out of the bathroom and he's there and he goes, hey. And he could tell I was looking at him and I'm that guy. Oh, yeah. This is awesome. And then we walk out of the bathroom, and he's there, and he goes, hey. And he could tell I was looking at him, and I'm like. And I walk up to him, and I go, hey, how you doing? I go, what's up, Mr. Sandler?

He goes, you're the tough guy that does comedy, right? And I was like, holy fuck. He knew you. You know, it's tough for me to watch clips like that because I'm looking at this this whatever the pbd podcast and those guys are living at our dream yeah you know they have shop on their show and they get to just ask them whatever they want and they get to hear new shop isms and thoughts being created like i'm legitimately jealous of that they get you see how happy they are they're like ask him and he and they're're like, oh my God,

he's going into a story that's not true. You know, XJ hotline ringing off the, what is the phrase ringing off the line? I'm going to botch like Shavs. The phone's ringing off the hook. Okay.

Phone's ringing off the hook at the XJ hotline. Okay. Redact need. But yeah, no, I'm jealous, right?

Yeah, I am. I'm, yeah, I want to meet him at least. I don't need to do a show with Chobb. I just want to be like, bro, love you. Yeah, that'd be nice,

but I mean, it'd be cool to have him on. Or go on, but I'd probably prefer to have him on. So we could talk to him. That and Trash Tuesdays. Oh, yeah. That'd be hilarious. Their fans are like, you had two homeless guys on all right i mean i like legitimately homeless not homeless cats all right let's see this

haphazard post dude the real tragedy is that he missed out on that dried turkey oh let's see here now i spent thanksgiving by myself eating a large pepperoni pizza. Have we not talked about Thanksgiving? We haven't been in here in seven days. So weird. I don't understand. Wait a minute. Why is he by himself eating a pizza? Was he on tour or something?

No, I think his wife was not there because she went to the hospital. Oh, shit. Oh, well. And hopefully everything's okay with that. And congratulations to Bapa and the new child. That's awesome. Yeah. Sucks about the complications. It worked out though right i hope so i don't know because you know homeless cats do they say some fucking off the cuff shit dude yeah don't uh

we we're all you know praying for the like child to be good so yeah all right this next one's called how to ruin your credibility in one Step, posted by Haphazard. Let's see what happens here. There's a little rumor. GSP? At 42? Coming back? I started that rumor.

You did? Yeah. That's where you got that. Why did you start it? It completely came from me. Really? Because I had nothing to talk about last Monday. Oh. And your dumb ass fell for it.

So it's not happening. I heard it from someone else. Of course. Oh. Rogan sends me. He goes, look what you've done. You fucking rumor mill motherfucker. Rogan goes, look what you've done.

He goes, what's your sources? I go, nothing. I go, slow Monday? That's hilarious. Yeah. That's hilarious. You just were like, GSP might make a comeback. Why not? So Bapa leans into being honest

about lying. I like that. He's just a ridiculous guy that just says shit, works too much, but also togs too much. Good for him. He likes to keep you busy. Would you do that if you had the world at your fingertips? Would you just make up lies?

Well, no. Not like that. But on Twitter, I'd say jokes that are lies. But I feel like they're obviously lies. Maybe some people don't realize that. So in a way, I kind of do that. How would Bapa say transparency?

Transparency? Transparency, yeah. I really enjoy his transparency, dude. Yeah, I like it. I wish more news outlets would have that. Yeah, that's the problem with CNN and Fox News and Haffington Post. You know, it's like you only get half the truth. He is being dude.

Yeah. All right. Let's see this next one by Hap. It's called Chris Lodge is a valid complaint with HR. What the hell? Let's see. Harder. Studio.

Try not to say it. Yeah, I really am. It's a harder it it's a harder squeeze it's a harder squeeze but the juice is worth it I'm Mexican man so I'm not afraid of working he's Mexican did he say

Mexican too? let's see pretty sure he said Mexican watch keep your ears open I'm Mexican man so I'm not afraid'm not i think he put the x in there i think he got the x yeah yeah i'm gonna give him the benefit of the doubt there the doubt of the benefit yeah i don't want to i don't want to shed some light on him that's another one i was looking at chavanees the other day he started started his mechanic career outside, you know, in front of the... Say horchata.

Horchata. Horchata. Horchata. Horchata. Horchata. What is that? It sounds like a workout place for Mexicans laughing that much at a joke

like that is what in a nutshell what I don't like about the hip bro comedy they make a joke like that

that's really not that funny corchata what's that place where Mexicans work out what's that a gym with salsa on it

and then they're all like ha ha ha yeah dude fuck yeah meskins working out it's just too much laughter for something that's not that funny that in a nutshell is what comedy is a lot of comedies right now meanwhile i'm the one that laughs super hard on it you laugh because it's ridiculous oh you thought that was funny yeah it was ridiculous that's your takeaway all right well i'll teach his own let's see i'm gonna tell you something i'm still thinking about the number two i went it felt fantastic

dude and i'm not bullshit again that's a little gay i want to ask you a question brennan you touch me a lot during the podcast and it's okay okay. I do my best, man. But you don't touch Eric a lot in the podcast. Because he's so far. But why are you so close to me then? Why don't you? Why? And no offense. I love you, man.

And that's fine. But why aren't you closer to him? Well, I move away because I don't want to be. But if I move away, I'm out of the fucking show. No, they just, Nick would get in the frame and do that thing he does where you move the camera. It's just true. It's true. It's close.

You got to give Nick something to do. You got to move. But this is Patreon. Let's talk about the nitty gritty, dude. You touch me too much. It's how I show love, dude. I'm physical. I come over and I'm like.

Yeah, he grabs me, man. You don't see me stop in the podcast. Because it doesn't happen so much. You don't know how much you touch me. No, but it's different, Brendan, because you're over there like. Stop, kind of. Kind of. A lot of gay jokes.

A lot of gay jokes, Chin. Please slow down. I think they buried the lead on this clip. Great clip. Yeah. But I like the beginning way more than the HR complaint. Yeah. And the part where the Mexican guy's laughing.

He's laughing on the outside, but deep in's laughing, he's like laughing on the outside, but deep in the inside, he's like crying at how horrible it is. It's like, my homies cannot see this. Also, what's with the deal

with the Hamas guy that they just have in the back that sits next to Nick? He's dressed up like a Hamas dude or like someone in winter, you know? Can you go back?

This is the second time he's been in the same outfit. He doesn't do anything for the show. He's just like audience. Oh, right here. Yeah. What's this guy's deal?

Let me see. Oh, fuck. There. Yeah. What? This guy looks like he's just released like an Israeli grandmother back to like Israel.

He's like the Hamas. He's Hamas. And he's kidnapped. And they're like you know how they keep saying that the people are so happy to be that's like what their face is when they get given back they're like hey see you later whatever and the like happy

Hamas guy's like see you later friends why is he there also get rid of the fucking bee dude that show is over how do they have like 10 people working for the show and they can't do basic things like removing the merch and decorations from the old show?

I'm bad at that. I'm not a producer and it's making me mad. Yeah. Shout out to the truck sticker. Oh, yeah. We got to do. I love trucks because we do love. We're big guys.

I was out there earlier today modding my Raptor. You know, I went to Australia or I shipped something from Australia to get, you know, replace the engine carbine. Yeah. I tried to replace the blower on my Corolla. Right. But the fucking supercharger needed fixing too. Don't you hate that, dude?

Yeah. It's because it's like, it only gets like 500 600 horsepower or whatever so when you gotta get in there and just like i call one of my guys and he was like oh yeah i've been there dude seven times a week yeah because i'm looking for like 10 101k grand thousand fucking horsepower dude but it's hard when you got like a car with 200 i saw you working on it the other day i I came out when I was like, damn, dude, what is this toontown? You're going at it. Yeah, dude. My face was all black, dude. Let's see here.

You ever work on a car so hard you get blackface? Let's see here. This one is just a text post. It's called you dressing up like a truck mechanic. Now posted by Tiger Thig. That is hilarious. He saw the guy. He saw a guy working on his truck. He's like, I got to look like that or a car. Yeah, dude.

Only a thousand mechanics can do it, dude. Yeah. Let's see here. The next one is posted by natural mix 4856. It's called the Grand Wizard. Okay. Couldn't be happier. Wife and newborn child currently in hospital. Off to the racist redact. Let's see what this is about, dude. All right, guys. Good news. I'm so excited. Good news.

Good. Good. I wonder if you could like see his brain when he's about to like when he says gird instead of good is there like a skip like how uh the um the albums like skip yeah I wonder let's see here all right guys good news I'm so excited good news uh the grant the wizard the wizard eddie at addiction motorsports oh i see this dude that's that's a little nitpicky but it's so funny yeah i mean he literally does it by accident yeah

it's amazing that you catch the he how does he even do that how does he do it only a thousand let's see on the block because i got this is easy it's your uh you're running lean it's your fuel pump it's your spark plugs yeah but let's like open the hood and do your stuff you know and let's make sure he's like non-positive i've seen enough of these things that's what's going on you bring in the shop it's exactly that it's running lean uh the fuel pump's bad uh and the spark plugs are gapped wrong and they're misfiring so it's not a huge deal we'll be able to swap this out and try to get the parts from lmr late model restorations and then uh this bad boy be uh back to back to running like tarzan not james so uh couldn't be happier man so he's the man and then

now it's up to the races and the plans to get this thing at 600 rear wheel horsepower and the fun begins. Tarzan, not Jane. Is that a saying? Well, now it is. Let's keep that in the mental Rolodex. Bank that one. Boom. I just want to say

Bapa's looking good, dude. Right? Yeah, he looks good there. He's got, I think, the carnivore diet, dude. Oh, he's okay. Has he talked about that? Yeah, I think so. Slimming down. Pretty sure on last week's episode, there was a clip where he mentions the carnivore.

That's good. I know Shab inspires me to get back into it. My shoulder's kind of messed up right now. And I know you've been working out. Do you ever feel like shop doing that motivates you to sort of do what you're doing right now? I mean,

why did I start? Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Cause it's cause he's your North star. Yeah,

dude. So thank you. Thank you shop for inspiring us, but nobody wants to talk about the good, like, look at that face, dude. Look at him.

He looks great. He looks very Joe camel on that one. Oh yeah. Yeah. I, I agree that he looks healthy. Yeah, dude. Look at him. He looks great. He looks very Joe Camel on that one. But yeah, I agree that he looks healthy. Yeah, dude. Shout out to shop. He's even doing the face. His mouth is like getting

smaller and then the top of his head is bigger. It is a funny face. He's a comedian. Of course, he'd have a funny face. Part of being one of the murderers wrote. Alright, so this one, we already saw this one, dude. Oh, yeah.

It's posted by Haphazard. It's called The Truth Comes Out. We laughed so hard at one point in this clip. I know it's only seven seconds. Yeah. But see if while you're watching it, see if you can guess the part that we may just laugh again probably when it happens. Let's see.

I'm not a gearhead. I've never pretended I'm a gearhead. I can't fix this stuff. I don't. I'm a gearhead. I can't fix this stuff. I don't, it's a different language. It's atrocious. Pretty obvious, right?

It's atrocious. I'm just, because Gerardo pulls the clip. So I was over looking at my phone and then I heard, I had my headphones off. I heard atrocious. Is he still doing that?

How does he not stop? The word, he's got to know. that's not how you say it. Yeah, and he just did it again and it's one of the funniest missed said words that he has in his repertoire made the tear list dude. Yeah. Oh yeah, it did. All right. Shout out to the tear

list. Yeah. All right. We got another haphazard dude. It's called Boppa's next career can be a movie kids movie reviewer. Let, dude. It's called Boppa's Next Career Can Be a Kids Movie Reviewer. Let's go. Let's see. Like nobody wanted to see the WNBA Marvel movie that just came out. Yeah. Or the new trolls. The woke new trolls. Awful. Is it woke? Awful. Why? Why is it woke? Just because. All I'm saying is it's terrible.

I won't say why. Just because. Just cats. Just cats. Just cats. Right. Well, I watched a little bit of Lightyear just to put it on. Buzz? Terrible. The one. Terrible.

My son goes, that one. That's what he says whenever one comes out. You wasted your money. You wasted your money. No, no, no. It was streaming, right? It's on Disney+. Yeah, it's on Disney+. Oh, wait.

Yeah, we didn't go. So I went and I was there and i watched it about two three scenes and he checked out and i was like yeah i get i'm kind of into it but like as an adult but i just bounced out of it no it's boring like the whole storyline is boring i don't know you watched it no uh bad film never seen it kind of a reversal usually it's a great film but you've never seen it. Kind of a reversal. Usually it's a great film, but you've never seen it. I like Bapa being like good or bad. It doesn't really matter because he didn't watch it. All right, let's go to the next one.

This one's posted by Brandon is a hack. It's called shop telling the world he doesn't like the name Joanna chose. He just goes. All righty, let's see what this is about. Do you have a name for the girl yet? Have you announced that? We do. I'll tell you off air. I don't like Shin. And I also you know, my

oldest is Tiger. My youngest is Boston. And I just, I like different things. I like different cars, I like different names. I think I like Billy's and Tom's. We're going to get an Esperanza here. We're going to get something dicey yeah we're gonna get something dicey it's a girl so you gotta be careful right you know right you know you don't want to pick like a stripper yeah you don't do like you gotta go exotic yeah you don't do cinnamon and then

she's either gonna be a celebrity or stripper right right yeah so yeah so when it goes to a girl you gotta be careful man it's so i guess is that even a consideration really is anyone thinking well i'm gonna maybe we should go cinnamon no no no it's ridiculous it's just his hack brain goes to like oh people make fun of stripper names sometimes but what i really think is funny besides that giant powered by rain neon sign where do you get that we're gonna get that is uh why why would it be dicey to give the child a latina name yeah why is that dicey esperanza why is that a dicey thing we don't want to go dicey like maria why he's so funny dude all right so the setup is you don't want to give her a stripper name right right what's the What's the punchline then, dude?

I got mine. Okay. I'll go first. Go for it. Eight inches. I don't want to name her eight inches. I wasn't, but you know I love eight inches. Damn.

I was going to say Atlanta. Oh, yeah. That's a stripper name for sure. Yeah, dude. Yeah. Welcome to the stage. New York. New York.

This is my daughter cincinnati all right so uh we got another clip here it's posted by ryan joseph 82 haven't seen him in the kitchen for a while dude papa luan just goes you know what that is right papa luan just go no i don't it's taylor taylor luan, the football player. And it's because they're claiming he stole the mustache. See, I finally know something. Oh, shit. I normally don't know anything. But every once in a while, my brain turns on and I've paid attention.

Yeah. So thank him. We're all appreciative. I don't care. Fuck you. Let's see. Well, today's the day I made it to addiction motorsports been swamped with other things going on in my life but uh today's the day dropping the ford lightning off at uh addiction

motorsports with the wrench master the tune maestro eddie he's worked on a ton of lightnings this guy can't figure out your boy screwed but's screwed. But I have faith in Eddie. Took you to the Ford dealer. They couldn't figure it out. They probably could, but they got a bunch of other broke Ford F-150s and Mustangs and Explorers or whatever the hell they're working on. So they couldn't get it done. All good. So here we are.

So we're going to find out today. It's heartbreaking man you buy a uh a truck that you've wanted since you're in high school this is gonna go for quite some time and uh it looks like tarzan but drives like jane i uh i'll get scourged i'll get gapped by a freaking prius right now off the starting line so it's heartbreaking man we're gonna figure out today my boy can take care of it oh it's almost a simple fix and then the fun can begin but if it's the transmission or some other major issue this becomes a much more difficult project and not as fun and exciting so we're gonna find out today keep you guys posted come on eddie pause so yeah two things like one is it's again the painted narrative of like

since high school i've wanted this truck i don't really believe that everything is something that he has this like idea that he has to be a certain way and people really like it when you're like man i've been waiting on this for so long and that's not true. The other thing is, well, first of all, that's your takeaway, dude. Yeah. Yeah.

Do you have any thoughts on that? I mean, I'm, I'm a lot like Boppa in that sense, dude, because there's a lot of things that I wanted ever since I was a kid. Dude, are there any kind of,

or what's one thing, one thing I've always wanted to be an astronaut. So if I ever end up becoming an astronaut or modding fucking spaceships, then I could say like, I've always wanted to be an astronaut. I never thought about it every day, you know, but that's a clip for sure.

That will get made fun of. If we get so big that somehow you could become an astronaut, that'd be crazy. There's a, on our subreddit for sure. If you're an astronaut, we have a subreddit. Oh,

we have a subreddit. Good. Good. Yeah, dude. I was thinking it's funny that, uh, the people at the car dealership can't fix. They've never told me, oh, yeah, we can't. What if you took your car and they're like, we have no idea?

I would be like, what do you mean? You build it. You took your car in and they give you this face right here. Yeah. What did you do? You got to fix it. So it's broken. Well, then you got to buy me a new car, Papa.

Yeah. Especially if it's a new one. So you just, the truck just doesn't work. Yeah. That doesn't make any sense. Don't make no sense. It doesn't count. All right.

Let's get to the next one, dude. I don't understand the Lewin thing, but. Because Lewin has a mustache. Okay. That's it. I'm pretty sure. They're saying he stole the mustache. Lewin ain't modern drugs. Yeah. Lewin ain't

got no merch. Oh, another thing too. You gave a vocal oh on the Tarzan and the Jane thing. You like it now or what? No, but it's in there. It's a different version of what he said before. He said like run something but runs, I think, but now he said drives like jane that's what he i

think that's what he meant to say in the first clip is it runs like or something tarzan drives like i don't even know what i'm talking about i'm confused now he turned it he basically was saying that he changed it from jane to tarzan the first clip and this one he's like it looks like tarzan runs like jane looks like that's it it. Looks like Tarzan drives like Jane. And don't feel bad, dude. It's hard to keep up with Bob. He's ahead of us, dude. You know what I mean?

Yeah. It's a sexist saying that is now part of Timo's. We're for sure saying that. I'm a hawk, not a duck. I'm a Tarzan, not a Jane. Yeah. You have to say that you're not a Jane. If you have to tell people you're not a Jane, that's a problem.

You might be a dick. You might be a dick. It's a problem. All right, this next one is, again, haphazard, dude. The origins of stat. Let's see. Did you know three people a month jump off Golden Gate Bridge? Well, that's why they put those nets down there.

Isn't that crazy? That doesn't stop it. I think it does. Nah, man. Still three a month. Still? Yeah. Those nets just hold them under longer now.

Don't they get caught in the net? No. No, no. Because boats have to go through there now. Where'd you read that? Stat. Read it, kid. I think the no part is funnier.

No. No, no. He's just like D'Enier. No, no, no. He's just like D'Elia. No, no, no. No, people are under the mat. Or whatever. What is it? He said, does he say mat?

Yeah, the nets. The nets. The nets. No, no, no. Oh. People are dang. And then the dolphins come and they fuck them. Fuck the dead bodies.

Oh, man. Hopefully nobody's watching the show is getting fucked by dolphins. This one's posted by Haphazard again, dude. It's called The Parrot Strikes Again. Nice. Let's see what this is about. Haphazard Strikes Again. Yeah, dude.

There are people that just need to follow. They want to follow. It's like CNN. It's like any CNN, really. Like, you know how many people tune into that and they think that's the gospel? It's like, no, they're just pitching this stuff because they're getting paid, man.

Big Pharma's paying them all this money. That's why they're doing it. They don't really give a shit. They're just paying you this stuff and then you repeat, you parrot what they're saying. It's all, it's just a hustle. Is that there is a segment of the population that that can never say no they cannot say no and those are the people that's going to

be your base you're going to make money that's so funny you could put that up whenever he has like a serious point just to gadouche him a little bit it's funny that's why you have mail-in ballots there you go because you're too stupid this is what they're teaching you're too stupid to show up with an id in person so they want to mail it they want to make it as easy as possible yeah they don't really give a shit they're just paying you the stuff and then you repeat you parrot what they're saying it's all it's just a it's just a hustle in my opinion I think this guy is a complete fraud.

I think he's making money off of people who are desperate. But it's not illegal. I don't think he's a good guy. I would never, I would never, No, he's a complete narcissist.

I would never shake his hand. No. But, but that's on the people he's taking advantage of. These guys period everything that they say. Yeah.

And they're like, these other people are perioding. He's dressed. He is dressed like a mechanic as he says this too. It's kind of funny. It's like if you are to engage your mechanic, but who should I vote for? And then they say the stuff that he's saying.

Well, speaking of parents, do we got parrot shop posting this one? It's called this feels Like They Are Talking About Brendan Right to His Face. Hopefully, it's not about the parrot stuff. My least favorite people though are con men. I hate

con men. I don't know about who likes them. That's a good point, Shaw. Who does like con men? I know the cliff is like they're talking to Shaw, but I think that's a good point. Brian's like I hate con men. It's almost like you like, is there talking to shop? But I think that's a good point. Brian's like, I hate con men. It's almost like you're saying like, I hate terrorists. Yeah, me too. Honestly, too. I'm not, I'm not a fashion expert, bro, but you should

be having boots on with that mechanic outfit, right? Yeah, you wouldn't. That makes the mechanic less trustworthy if like they're all if they have their normal mechanic outfit on, but then they have giant stain-free Air Jordans. White. White. And you're like, are you a mechanic or are you a guy pretending to be a mechanic? Are you a scammer? Are you going to steal my car?

You just were here and put on this outfit so you could take my car. You're right. Yeah. Let's see. I hate him, though. I'll take a murderer over a con man. Ooh, not me. A murderer?

Yeah. Like a guy who, you know, like some people are just hardcore gangsters. I'd rather get conned out of money than die. I'd rather get conned out of money than die. Right, guys? Figure it out. At least gangsters. Gangsters are a little brave.

The con man, though, like I worked for a guy like that, and they have this amazing ability. What was his hustle? Okay, I see Figure it out. These gangsters. Gangsters are a little brave. The con man, though, I worked for a guy like that, and they have this amazing ability. What was his hustle? Okay, I see. I see where it's going. It's starting to get really funny. But the problem for me, the problem right now, is that Schaub is making great points,

and they're kind of funny, too. It's almost like he got a moment of clarity. You know, like the CTE, it wasn't flaring up and he's like wait a minute con men aren't worse than murderers and then why doesn't everyone immediately agree with that and then brian says gangsters are better than con men no well first of all gangsters are con men but gangsters murderers uh they're much worse than con men it's just that brian wants to go into a stupid crowder bit where he's like you know they're not letting than con men. It's just that Brian wants to go into a stupid Crowder bit where he's like, you know, they're not letting us be real anymore.

And all these people that want me to stop doing all the stuff I'm accused of doing and all that, they're con men. They're just in it for the likes. And I should be selling out everywhere. No, you're a con man. You're only there because your friend is Joe Rogan. Let's see. You can't say. I can't say.

Weed? No. No. It was a legit stand-up company business operation. I stopped having a guy on my podcast back in the day, Soda Rogan, because there was a guy who was selling health. And then I talked to somebody who ran his company and they was selling, he was selling health.

Yeah. And then I talked to somebody who ran his company and they told me how he was running it. And I went. Do I know him? Yeah. I was like, that makes so much sense. Do I know him? Yeah, I'm sure you would know him.

I'll tell you. He's a scumbag. So yeah, but those people, when you get the right people together, these guys know who to hire. You know, they pick a girl who's like, my only other job was I worked at Hooters and I drive a Toyota Corolla,

but I really wanted Infinity. And like, next thing you know, you're paying this girl seven grand a month. Hell yeah. And you own that. For sure.

His hell yeahs are so funny, dude. They're describing him to him and he's like, yeah, this guy sounds great. I gotta say, dude,

she's a solid addition to the show, right? She's funny. Yeah. this guy sounds great. I got to say, dude, she's a solid addition to the show, right? She's funny. She helps our show. Because she creates content. Yeah. Let's see. They'll get a job like that.

And they just Stockholm Syndrome you all together. Those con men are the scariest people in the world. Yeah, they're bad, bad people. They're terrible. They do what works. Yeah, because they sell some like, I'm connected to goodness stuff or whatever. They're a dime a dozen and they're easy to fucking see.

Anybody that's like, I got this new thing. It's called Magic Mind. It says drink you drink and it keeps you awake. Yeah. They're full of shit. There's already coffee. Goji powder is not real. Alpha brain is made up.

Okay? Simple things. And I'm like, I'm like fat. I'm like out of shape and bald. Telling you how to do. You're looking at a con man right now, daddy.

But I'm just saying, just common sense. Yeah. Right? But honestly though, you got to be, keep it cool. Kiwis and rain energy

is shown to be beneficial to both cognitive and you know mental health and it says it on the bottle folks look rain is all you need and if you trust gerardo kiwis too yeah dude high in carbs but also high in dietary fibers uh let's see here this one's haphazard again it's called i didn't watch this one yet but i've been looking forward to it dude okay it's a thick boy studios tour dude this is what i've always wanted to be let's see we are here there's kev what's up nick what's happening how much and this is a gin action figure that chris got me 400 miles all right And this is a Jyn action figure that Chris got me.

All right. Out of Golden Hour. Going right in here. Two fire in the kit. Two put some, at least one more mic standing. I already started here. So I'm going to have the. All right. I'm just thinking about if we had a studio and we did a tour

and it would just, it would be I'm worried that it would be stupid bits like they do. Like it'd be walking around and Miguel would be like on the couch on his phone. I'd be like, get the fuck up, Miguel. What the fuck are you doing? What do we pay you for get to work get to work

Miguel your dad's outside and he goes outside and it's just like some like hobo the guy at the open I'm like too similar to shop let's see let's grab one of these Let's see here. Let's grab one of these.

Man, it's so tacky, dude. It's so tacky. What? Just all the stuff on the walls, and then it matches some box on a table. There's rain energy drinks everywhere. It's not something you walk in. If one of these YouTube decor people walked in and saw this, they probably have a brain aneurysm and die.

Oh, my God. They start crying. They would cry like they saw the news recently. So many energy drinks, dude. Are you guys okay if you drink this shit? Let's see here. They have to move the energy drinks. Which one?

The shocking one? Either we're doing it releasing tomorrow, no, on Thursday or after. I don't know. It depends on what we do tomorrow. Whoa. What is? you know wow what is I guess the stain oh that's not a t-fat k thing though

that's brick or something that's more of a what's it called thing I guess yeah fake brick here and then you got the water stain that's a more of a building issue right

yeah it's like it's stupid man cave stuff like I like sports, but I'm not going to put a football jersey on the wall. You know yeah, is it shops jersey? Who knows? Yeah, who cares? I don't even know. Let's see. This is

haphazard. It's called. He can't say that he's off social media anymore. It looks like it's from last two weeks Golden Hour. Let's see. So, I'm coming and going. So, you're on TikTok. I just started.

Someone was running it for me. Now, your boy's back at the range, right? And business is popping. Your boy's back on the range now. So, you post TikTok now? Oh, so what's up with this shit? What's up, bro? You fucking bought a dumb car or what?

Yeah, man. It's a lemon. It's going to be a lot of work. Do a real wrench into things. We watched that, I think, last week, but there's more context. Yeah. It shows them. That is funny.

You bought a dumb car? No. No. What's that? What's that? Back on the range. Shob takes the Shob TikTok take the shop tick tock takeover shop tick tock takeover

like that. Yeah. All right. Let's see. This is Eddie pool eight millimeter. It's called this our chin still beefing with BS and Callan. We might have already watched this. Let's see. I was going to chime in to say to ask Jesse, but it's fine. That was a did he listen

to the actual audio book? Yeah, that's what he said. He actually no, he didn't know. That's what he said we're gonna say did he listen to the actual audiobook yeah that's what he said he actually no he didn't no that's what he said he goes if you actually listened to it but i wanted to ask him straight up did you actually listen to the audiobook because that's what he said though chin he goes if anybody who listens to it i listen to it but you and you think it's real you want to listen to it we can do it right now we can fast forward afterwards time for that that's what i'm saying right. So you didn't listen to it? Oh, yeah. Take it outside. Yeah. Chin beats up shop. I did.

Hey, I lived it. So there's actual tips to being a wag. She even brings in a freaking like makeup artist, all the stuff like I listened to. Yeah, but she didn't put it into practice. What? Oh, I know what they're talking about. Or at least I think I do. They're talking because I just looked it up.

Somebody tweeted about this today. Ian Geary's wife is like much older than him. And I guess when she was younger, wrote some book about how to be a wag. What's a wag? Like a wife of a, what is it? Wife of a ball. Of a gearhead? No, like a pro athlete.

Oh, okay. Wives and girlfriends or something. I don't know what it stands for. But it's like whoever, it's like how to land a professional athlete. Oh. Yeah, but who cares? Yeah. We'll see.

We'll just provide context. Because she married a civilian athlete. Here's the main thing. It's like, of course, it's all stupid. And we shouldn't even be going into Ian Gary's life with this girl, whatever. But I get the fact that Sean Strickland, he shouldn't even be in like going into ian gary's life with this girl whatever but it's i get the fact that sean strickland's saint like he shouldn't have done it publicly he should have done it privately like you said yeah if you want to help him if you actually want to help him you should be like hey dude just so you maybe i don't know if you're aware

she's saying she's defending herself imagine you marry somebody and you don't know that they wrote that book or you don't know the name of the book or that they wrote a book at all. I'm sure Ian Gary is well aware of her novels that she's written. I want to defend my countryman. He's from Ireland. Oh, okay. New England? Yeah, right near New England.

Let's see here. It's satirical. If you listen to it, it's not satirical. Yeah, I don't know. Well, that's a matter of opinion. That's my opinion. I would love people to actually listen to the... it's not satirical. Yeah, I don't know. That's a matter of opinion. That's my opinion. I would love people to actually listen to the... There's a five-minute preview on Amazon if you want to listen to it and judge for yourself. That's all right.

I don't know. You wanted me to dive deeper, so I dive deeper. Yeah. No, I'm glad you did, Chen. Yeah, that's a thing you know. What's happening to George? I know. George knocked out there for a second.

He's like, this is boring, dude. We get back to numbers and shows. He's like, this is boring. We get back to numbers and shows. He's like in the contract. It says no reading, dude. Where are the ticket sales numbers? Ever released that wax and made like a premier league soccer player, right? But she releases that. By the way, even then I got no problem.

She can get it. Maybe she can get me. Yeah, you might be right. I remember the comms out story I told you about, right? That Ian Gary himself put out there. Agree. Eight and one. Jim, I think we're agreeing with this.

And it works for them, which is more power to them. And that's fine. Yeah, let's get out of that relationship. But I do think... I think Wag now has wives and girlfriends. Okay. And you know what else? We shouldn't talk about people's wives and girlfriends,

Baba. How about that? Yes. Deity. I agree. Yeah. Alrighty. Well,

let's see here. Married a Mexican, y'all. We got one more clip, dude. Oh, shit. It's always the saddest part of the day when we got to finish the episode,

dude. Special time. This one's called, never met a guy that hates Mexicans so bad. Like this guy, when asked about the Benavidez fight, he dismissed it and also said, quote, I don't touch Mexico when asked who the president is. Lonely Strike 1334.

This is a long title, and I nailed it, dude. Let's see. Killed it. President of Mexico. That's right, because you're also, your wife is mexican and your kids are half mexican i just i don't touch i don't know they i don't it's andreas last time i remember was vincente fox this is basically the same thing the president i don't know why he says el chapo's kids at the end of it is the joke b and what like what is the joke that uh the drugs run Mexico, basically. Oh, I don't even know.

We already saw the clip. Yeah. Yeah. But, you know, it's always good to revisit old dishes, dude. Right? Yeah, for sure. I mean, it's always great to see Shab in action and Brian. I get pastrami all the time.

Seven times a week. Oh, really, dude? Yeah. But, yeah, that's it for today's episode, dude. Thanks for tuning in. See you next week. Later.