10 Minutes of Schaub - Brendan Schaub... The CALL BEFORE THE STORM! | 10 Minutes of Schaub #68

Episode Date: October 1, 2023

Cooney came back from da east coast sunday so no song this week! Business as usual next week! thank you all! JOIN OUR PATREON! https://www.patreon.com/raccoontweeties Join the discord! https://discord.gg/z7eSGTE6hG Follow Raccoon Tweeties on Social Media! https://linktr.ee/RaccoonTweeties

Welcome back to 10 minutes of shop. Thanks for tuning in. As always, join the Patreon. Generally speaking, you get early access to T-MOS if you do that. It's usually up a few days early. This week, I was on vacation, as you can see. This redacted t-shirt that I got. This is not something that Brandon Walsh of the World Record Podcast bought us. This is something I spent my own money on. But there is a rumor circulating that he bought us these chairs be. Oh, really?

Yeah, maybe we'll reveal who really bought us the chairs on patron. Now we are reviewing stand up specials on patron. The last one we did was the last one we did. We didn't do one this last right. We didn't do we drop some hot stand

up of ourselves, dude. Yeah. So you guys some of you sometimes ask. Hey, I want to see what your stand-up is like. Well, Bapa, you can check it out on our Patreon. Ever heard of it? I did. I posted a clip of me doing 30 minutes from 2019. No big deal. No big deal.

It's easy, dude. I'm one of the 1,000 that can do it. Wait till I get 30 minutes. Wait till I get 30. No. You want to see my stand-up? Join the Patreon. They really want...

Yeah, join the Patreon if you want to see it. We also, Gerardo did some stand-up of his own on there. I don't want to spoil it on Art McGee, but... Yeah, that's what we think about our own stand-up, but nobody knows who we are. We don't matter. You're not here for that. No, they're not.

You are here for 10 minutes of that. No, you are here for 10 minutes of shop. So without further ado, play the chin clip. Start the timer now. Alrighty. The first one is posted by fish off man. It's called Joe has some serious self-control for not calling him a dumb ass. you can see that he really wanted to. Let's see. Bro, here's the thing. He's going to be better in his next fight now because now he knows what he did to Izzy. He's going to be better. So is Izzy. Oh, dude.

Dang, just looking at him like a dad who's furious and frustrated. Yeah, dude. It's like, ah, but I mean, you looking at him like a dad who's furious and frustrated. Yeah, dude. It's like, ah. But I mean, you know what that is? The shop's stepping out on his own. He said he was kind of named the waters a little bit there. He said, so is Izzy.

He didn't just agree like Sean's going to be the most ready. Yeah, dude. Give him some credit. You know what that tells me, dude? Is that they're not posting and ghosting anymore, B. Oh, yeah? That's a thing of the past, dude. They're fucking reading all the comments, dude.

Yeah, hopefully. Hopefully, some of it sinks through because it could be funny in a different way. Yeah. Because that was funny, and he did the right thing. Yeah. He had his own opinion, sort of. Well, I was just going off of what you said, so I don't really believe that. Yeah, no, yeah, yeah.

I think that fucking Shab really thinks that this is a turning point for his. Yeah, the Sonia dude. To Shastricklin. Did you see the fight? No, no, I Sonya, dude. To Sean Strickland. Did you see the fight? No, I didn't see it. You watched it? No, but I saw the clips. I didn't watch the clips. I didn't even say, yeah, you saw the clips on Chang's. Yeah, dude, it was

dicey. Side note, do you think that, because I said without further ado, do you think Shob's ever said without further ado? Oh, dude. Because that seems like something he'd do. Without farting on the dude, that's a beam. If he says that and where he should be really worried because that's when the brain is gone, but he's definitely said without further ado, that's the hottest guy I've ever seen right there. Yeah, he's balls deep and complimenting guys. All right, dude, this this one rocked our world on the

fucking discord this last week. I don't know who posted on the discord oh yeah this is a classic but uh go cats two three four one posted something called the call before the storm dude i love this it's just a story post the call before the storm ain't nothing like a covina crowd though it's so good man yeah it's so the call before the storm because we did a door song yeah you know i like that saying calm before the storm i'll be a Doors song. Yeah. You know, I like that saying, calm before the storm. Call before the storm. And he just writes call. Like, it's almost as if he's doing it for us at this point. And then ain't nothing like a Covina crowd.

It's just the icing on the cake because no one's in there. Dude, how would you know it's good? People that use that font background type, they got like 30 followers tops, dude. It's just them with their crazy. It's like a cool draw to be like manifesto writing dude. Yeah, it's it's a sign of someone that doesn't really know social media because I'm never on Instagram. So I don't know if I've used that font, but I'm it's a random choice whenever I use font. I think I put that there. I'm like, well, people will be able to read this. It kind of looks bad and he exclusively uses that

one. Really? I'm just saying. I'm just talking to you. This is the podcast dude. It's just great. It's well it's like the artist at work. You know this is his best. This is amazing. So dude, this is Pascosco because you're right. What are you? Pascosco

bro. All right, let's go on. We could talk about that all day, but let's get to this one dude. It's a clip by all i do is lie to you oh my gosh it's called papa is getting upset with brian over his bigger show in texas let's see i don't know what it is but you know that you're you know that you're good friends when you can look at your friend and lie to him. And then no, I lied over text. Well, yeah,

I said, can you guys do? I like his admitting over lying. It is out of context line, but it being out of context, make it look like a Brendan's like, come on, dude,

lies. My thing, dude, don't put this on the here. He's like, I lied over text, not to your face. What's the difference?

Both lies. Yeah, they're not Mexican lies. They're white lies, dude. If he said that, then yeah. That would be something he says. Are those Taco Bell Mexican lies or white lies?

Yeah, dude. Either way, eight inches, dude. Let's see. You were correct. It's fact. Three o'clock. You go, no. I have to be in Hollywood at 2.30.

And I went. By Hollywood. And I was like, interesting. Okay. Because I guess we won't do the podcast this week because I want to do something in Texas and I got to hold Callan's feet to the fire a little bit because he's treating us like a

side piece. Yep. Uh-oh. Is that about like Crowder or something? Is Crowder in Texas? Probably, but if anyone knows how people treat side pieces, get gay.

Damn. You know what I'm saying, dog? Look at those shoes, dude. Roller. Fuck, I missed it. Look at those shoes, dude. What do you think about these shoes right here, dude? I mean, they're a step up from the butterfly.

Yeah, show that rain. Rain, baby. They're a step up from those butterfly Gucci shoes, I guess. They're not as bad. They're a step up from those butterfly Gucci shoes, I guess. They're not as bad. They're a step back, dude. You think so? Really? I don't know.

This is a pretty normal getup for him besides the hat, which is like that backward S that you write in elementary school. Remember that? And then it turns out it's like something to do with Nazis or something, dude. No, I don't think so. Somebody said that to me once. It kind of looks like it, but I don't think it has anything to do with that. The super S, dude.

The super S. Yeah, whatever. Is that what it's called? The super S? That's what looks like it. Yeah, I don't I don't think it's anything to do with super s dude, the super yeah, whatever I don't know what it's called the super s. That's what I call it. I just remember everyone would draw that in notebooks and stuff. Did you ever get the tutorial on the super s? I just was so bad at drawing stuff, man. I couldn't do it. Dude, that's where millennials started their artistic Picasso's careers

dude. Yeah, is where they learned how to do the super s. You just draw three lines on top, three lines on bottom. And then when the guy's like, watch this, and he connects the lines and it makes an S, that made a lot of them. That made Banksy, I heard. Can't spell S without, or can't spell shop without super S.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah, dude. That's what I'm painting to do, Papa. But those shoes, dude, that's like that short lady shoe, dude. You know how short chicks wear shoes with big fucking platforms? Oh. You know what I'm paying attention to, Papa. But those shoes, dude, that's like that short lady shoe, dude. You know how short chicks wear shoes with big fucking platforms? Oh. You know what I mean?

Right. So you're saying he may be a smaller feet? Dude, look at this. How tall is this man? He's like six something, right? I think so. He's like six, four, six, three. I have no idea.

Maybe I'm fucking calling before the storm, dude, but I don't know. What's the thing in the middle now that they have. What's that? It looks like anything in antique piece and they're selling. Oh, you'll see later dude. Oh, it gets revealed. Oh, nice reveal. This is what the cool thing about 10 minutes of shop is. We're learning

as we go baby. You were saying earlier the chairs are virtually identical. Yeah, they are. They have the crease. Yeah, yeah, the recliner bro. One Yeah, they are. They have the crease. Yeah. Yeah. The recliner, bro. One day we're going to get a fucking the Gerardo and the fucking bald on the back. Yeah, we should get the lettering like that. Yeah.

Figure out how it's done. Let's see. Crowder's your main trick. A little bit. Crowder's the main. Called it. Best brains be. I know he's in Texas. let's see the crowd is your main chick a little bit crowd is the main call it best brains be i don't know he's in texas let's see you keep canceling shows we got you keep coming in late so i was wait you know what not today i'm gonna lie hold your check now no what's funny

is when i got that text i kind of knew i was like ah my dear friend's lying to me and then we get here and it's 1248. So I know that he doesn't have to be in Hollywood. I love we had this serious talk and he walked in and we go. We just had a really serious talk. A great talk about things. About comedy. And career.

What? It's like the same thing that happened with Theo. Isn't it? When he was about to leave, he was saying, oh, he's somewhere else. He never shows up. He's barely else he never shows up he's barely on the show now he's doing it to Brian now listen here culture personality have you been keeping up with Mr. Theo

Vons latest activities oh they calling out cast media yeah so listen to the cats in attendance here today you know we both had an off week so I haven't been really keeping up with the Changs yeah but are people trying to like say that that has something to do with him and Brendan breaking up because Brendan invested into podcast one. You know what I'm saying?

He said he sided with Colin Thompson and the guy from podcast one. I'm not making a joke. Is that what they're saying? So they're saying I've been off some on vacation. He invested in podcast One. Brendan Chobb did. Oh, wow. And then that's why they keep sharing the stock price of Podcast One. They share it on TFATK? No, they share it on Chang's.

Oh, yeah. Oh, that's a very interesting plot development. Yeah. So no wonder he doesn't want a fucking hot chip, dude. Yeah, dude. He doesn't want to get... He got stolen from. Yeah. They stole money out of him.

I watched that. Yeah, I watched that whole thing. He's like, you messed with the wrong one, man. Yeah. Come for you, man. Yeah, he's like, I may not win in court,

but I'll win with your mother. Something like that, right? He said that? No. He just dropped mom jokes. And he's out $4 million. He's like, I might not get the money back,

but I fucking fucked your mom bitch calling top gay I fuck Mrs. Thompson real good I replied to one of his calling Thompson's tweets and then he went private oh you did yeah because I saw the thing I watched it his Theo's clip and then I went to

his account and everybody was replying to his first tweet and then I looked him up because I was curious to know like who he was. I heard a little bit about this from somebody else. And he had this article came up, some podcast network, and it said what he's being accused of. And then he was like, Colin Thompson responded to this article with just the copy and paste of libel. And we responded back to him. He said, oh, sorry. I didn't mean to send it like that.

I was just showing you. I was curious myself what was libel. Dude. Are you Shab? They would work well together. Oh, yeah. Same brain level. The scam, the fighter, and the kid. Fuck, dude. I fucking didn't at the tstf.

You come for the botches. Yeah, dude, we fucked that one up. That was on both of us, dude. Oh yeah. All right, this next one's posted by dicey redact. It's called major network. It's so funny how often the lore of gringo poppy pops up both on our show and theirs yeah it's the one of the most fascinating things ever happened um but i'm believe i believe this is a long time before the ring of poppy dropped have you seen this clip yet uh i don't think so strap the boogie and drop the fucking off your piss now i got a major network picked up my 30-minute special. YouTube.

You do YouTube? Dude, a billion-dollar network owned by Google. Damn, dude. Bought my special, dude. Did YouTube have anything to do with pumping up a special at all? Did he talk to anyone at YouTube, you think? He does YouTube? Good question. I hope he does, dude. Let's see.

I shoot November in Dallas. Even Brian's laughing like you're fucking lying. He's either lying or laughing because of the idea of Brennan doing a special at all after the first one. Or maybe he knows already it's going to be 30 minutes, and that's hilarious. You know what, though, too, is that maybe he fucking...

24. 24. Let's just go lower, dude. 20. Yeah, 13. Yeah, 13 minutes. About 13 minutes. Well, it's fucking 10 minutes of solid stuff.

Yeah. I mean, I've never really been a numbers guy, but I think it's about it's about one and a half minutes of solid stuff. Yeah, no, the solid stuff is like a second long. It's Mr. Whole Foods. That's what I was about to say. Yeah, I was going to say, oh, but part of me thinks that he's trying to do like a fucking, you know, fucking redacted the Andrew Scholl special was dude.

It's awful where listen when he was dropping it. He was like, dude, I wanted to go on fucking Netflix, whatever. I wanted to go to a major fucking distributor, too. But they was like, hey, take this joke out. It was too dicey. And you know what I did? I said, for five minutes in the belly room, I'll suck your dick. I would love to know what jokes they told him.

Nah, I can't do that one. Like, which ones? None of them push the envelope on anything. They're all just stupid. See, he does it for you, dude, because it's not fucking true. Yeah, you're right. It's a selling ploy. It riles idiots like me up so they watch it. Yeah. I wonder

what the percentage of people that hated that special that watched it. Probably three. Yeah, he's probably a thousand of us that understand comedy. You know what I mean? If you watch Andrew Schultz and you think he's funny, you're an idiot. Oh, naming the waters, dude. I i mean that's just true let's start this one over because we talked a lot here ready if you're pissed now i'm kind of a major network picked up my 30 minute special

also they're not called networks youtube is not a network he's stuck in the past but he's a he's a historian you know this he knows all about He knows all about a lot of historical things. Also, it bugs me that the fighter is on the right and the kid is on the left. You know what I mean? He's not the kid and the fighter, dude. Good point. Tea cafe.

Let's see. I shoot November in Dallas. Dude, you seem upset about that. I'm upset for them. I'm upset for them. I wonder what that means. Probably he knows what he's putting the audience through. Yeah.

He already knows it's really bad. He has the CT, lets him have moments of clarity. Yeah. Just very small, but then he pumps back in. He's like, oh, yeah, dude. Yeah. Man, everyone, name the movie. He's like, he's selling it to Netflix.

Like, I got the special called The Bro Whisperer. It's going to be Netflix, right? Not Black Bustle, Netflix. And then they're like, all right, cool. And then at the last minute, he's like, I want to change it to Gringo Poppy. Like, get the fuck out of this office. I like the idea of him using shop isms to sell it. Yeah.

Oh, you know, I'm so balls deep in this premise about how the vaccine sucks and Netflix executives are like, no, no, dude. It's the call before the storm, dude. They laugh afterwards. They're like, did he say call before the storm, dude. They laugh afterwards. They're like, did he say call before the storm? Did he say smartest tool in the shed? Did he say balls deep in my office? All these Hulu executives just laughing and they like weeks and weeks of shop stuff where they talk to each other.

Dude, remember like they're the water cooler. Remember that guy was the comedian, the idiot fighter guy. Brenda. Brenda. Yeah. Yeah. We were calling Brenda after the meeting. Remember that guy was the comedian, the idiot fighter guy, Brenda, Brenda, Brenda. Yeah. Yeah. We were calling him Brenda after the meeting.

Remember, remember how we treat him? Yeah. Why would his last name be slob? He, they, they're like, we dodged a bullet dude.

Cause imagine you, you see the showtime special and you still pick up a Brendan shop special after that. Yeah. Executives aren't good there. They may be dumb. They're in a strike right now. There's no one writing or acting.

It seems like they're not the smartest. They're not the sharpest. Sharpest. Or smartest tools in the shed. Smartest tools in the shed. But they're not going to fall for BAPA. They're not going to buy another BAPA special. Come on.

Although maybe they should at this point because there's over 100,000 cats. Yeah. Who knows? Let's see. And also too, it would never have been as big as it was because it would have been copyrighted left and right, dude. We're fucking lucky it came out on YouTube. I love that it's on YouTube. Yeah. I love YouTube. Let's see here.

You know what I'm saying? It's like, when's this getting to fucking stop, dude? You're upset for them. I'm upset for them. The lie detective determined that was a lie. Yeah, you're probably right. Dang, what do you think the major network was? If it really existed, I think he's probably talking about Netflix. Okay.

Yeah, they're hot on the Roganverse, dude. They got all the Protect Our Parks guys on there. Let's see here. This is the one you were showing me earlier. Yeah, this one blew me away. I could not believe this when I watched it the first time. I sent it to people. I was like, dude, watch this.

It's posted by RyanJoseph82. It's called... Great Chef. Great Chef, dude. It's called Jeff. I brings up other comedians hating Brendan shop. So I clicked on this because, you know, I'm redacted. I was like, wait a minute. Are we about to get good? Yeah, but it was even better.

This I live for this. We'll see here. It's like people are just bitches about stuff. Such a great start, dude, because you know that it's going to be real smart when someone's that's what they start with. Yeah, people just bitches about stuff. Well, I don't want to be out of pocket here, but that color scheme is fire

dude. What shop is wearing? Yeah, the dad hat. Don't act like I said the dad hat was fire. That is not fire. The baseball jersey, the Nike jersey, golden hour logo behind him, his fucking jersey matched it. It's fucking dope, dude. Should we start matching things to things? Yeah, you wear black. I guess we are wearing black, but I

don't know if the I'm not sure you can color scheme with floor mats and do color proof. Are we talking soundproofing or color schemes, dude? Because I'm soundproofing all day, daddy. Daddy. That jersey's not touching this tempo, daddy. All right, let's go. Successful. That's my point. Like Dane at the time was massive.

The way they talk about you, the way they talk about Dahlia, the way they talk about Dane, the way that, I mean, people are fucking. Who, Dane? His voice broke a little bit there, too. People are fucking whack. I'm nitpicking. Yeah. I'm nitpicking a little bit, but it is

because everyone's voice breaks, you know, it just happens, but it's very funny for your voice to break while defending Dane Cook. Oh my God, dude. People Dane people are like bitches. And he's wearing some strange like Navy captain homeland

homelander hat. He's wearing like PJs like he's at a slumber party, dude. He is. Yeah, he's got like a PJ shirt on and then he's got a Homelander hat on from the boys. Yeah, it's a bit much, but I'm liking what I'm hearing. When people come out the gate like this, standing in front of a rain hat and rain energy drink saying people are freaking bitches. I like really mean to Dean. Why do they still have that weird shit?

What that's what was in front of them in the other the one of the very far right? You'll see. Oh God. Oh yeah, I forgot. Yeah, dude. I mean, you're not love Jeff. I just goes man.

I like Jeff. People are like really mean to you. Brendan Jeff says whatever he thinks. Yeah, at the time he thinks it dude if my voice were to crack when I was talking about getting shadow band or people talking shit about me I'll be like I'm gonna have to take like a month off dude

yeah dude he's covering his face with the hat as if he's like all right I'm gonna say these things but I don't want anyone to see my face you cannot say that detect my eyes he's crying underneath the hat he's like I can't want anyone to see my face. You cannot say that. You cannot detect my eyes. He's crying underneath the hat. He's like, I can't believe I'm here.

All right, let's go. It's like people are just bitches about stuff. Especially if someone's successful. Just so smart. Just like such great analysis, dude. Who could, you know, like a real master of analyzations. True. I couldn't say something like that.

Dude, best brains. Best brains. Indeed, people are like bitches about stuff and then to follow that up with like people are really mean. I wanted to start the next show. He's like he's like Brenna. Cootie's a fucking bitch. Gerardo Alarcon is a fucking bitch.

I walked in there. I said I want to get you douched. Let's see. Let's go. Be careful what I Fucking bitch. I walked in there. I said, Charles is a fucking bitch. I want to get gadooshed. Let's see. Let's go. Be careful what I ask for, though. That's my point. The way they talk about you, the way they talk about Dalia, the way they talk about

Dane, the way that, I mean, people are. People are. People are. People are. Duh. Duh. Wait. Dude, if I fucking.

My voice cracks when I'm defending Cook. When I'm on the golden hour, I'm going to cut my voice talking about being cooked up. I'm going to name the waters. I'm going to say Gerardo Alex. You know, it's so funny. Like before the thing, they're like, I'm going to say exact. I'm going to talk about Gerardo on this podcast. I'm going to say his name. And they're like, no, no, like I'm gonna say exact. I'm gonna talk about Gerardo on this podcast. I'm gonna say his name and they're like no, no, no,

don't do that. I'm gonna say I'm gonna take down this open mic. There's two open micers who get ten thousand views. Why Jeff Day? They made fun of my voice cracking because dude, I'm a numbers guy, B. I'm a friend of Shob.

Let's see you. Fucking terrible. It makes me so mad. I just yelled at a chick. I'll tell you that story. I just yelled at a chick, dude. What you said about this is really funny. Say it again, but let's play a little bit more.

I just yelled at a chick on your behalf the other day. I was like, shut the fuck up. On my behalf? No, on Brandon. Oh, yeah, yeah. Like at the improv in front of everyone. And they were like, we like the way you dressed her down. I was like, yeah, well, she fucking deserved it.

I'm tired of these female comics. Yeah, good thing you said that. Probably shouldn't say that. We're supposed to be having fun and telling jokes. And it turns into all this weird. It's never a good comic. By the way. I don't even know the name.

I'm sure it wasn't a good comic. Yeah, I said a female. Yeah. Come on, dude. There's like four good ones. Oh, my God. He goes for the fucking pound. Oh, my God.

Dude, you nailed it, dude. When you said chicks aren't funny, dude. I love this. I mean, it's an okay clip, but people really need to crack their voice more, dude. I love this. I mean, it's an okay clip, but people really need to like crack their voice for dude. Say your point about what you said about Jeff with the said that he wasn't going to say something

and then he said like something wildly fucking crazy. You're like he goes. I'm not going to. I'm not going to say I don't want to say it and then and then he says it and on top of that he says before what he says I yelled at a. And then, and then he says it. And on top of that, he says before what he says, I yelled at a woman. Yeah.

He's like, I yelled at a woman. I'm not going to say it. It's just, and then he says it. It's so funny to like say that. And I'm like, but it's like you,

you just said that all women are funny, but maybe four are funny. Yeah. And then before that, you admit that you yelled at a woman in public, which is not great right yeah i like how he does and he does that this is saying like i don't like jeff dine but that's not what i'm trying to say but he goes he goes like uh rough take yeah yeah he goes like um

he's like uh fucking women dude like bill he goes like a little bit of a bill burr voice when he does it which cracks me up up. We get women, you mean. I can't do it. Just women. I can't even crack my voice. Maybe there's a video of me out there cracking my voice. Yeah. You know?

I'm tired of these female comics. You know what Bill Burr was doing this day? Yeah. Yeah. It's like, we're trying to have fun, you know? Oh, there you go. They always hate. All right.

You can crack your voice. I'm an old guy. But I think if you hate Brendan Schaub and Dan Cook and other great comics like that, you know, it's a, it's, yeah, hey, fuck you. You know, fuck you. There's a notion of haters under our feet. I just like, and then somebody saying, you know, there's like four good female comics and Bill Burr's like, yeah, yeah, get one in. Yeah, well, I'm really funny.

Montez is like, I want to be out of this. Yeah. Oh, my God, dude. Ever? Oh, good guess, Brandon. Not even. I started with female. Yeah, I know.

Oh, my God. Montez's face. Oh, dude. I mean, just there's got that one song only for there's got to be more than four. I know more. No, there's some hilarious women out there. Yeah, yeah, and I'm not saying that to be politically. Yeah, we're not trying to be woke or anything. No, do you Felicia

folks hilarious? Should I say, should I tell my Jeff Dye story? Yeah, go for it. I've only just cracked my voice. It's not that interesting, but I think it was after the roast battle. And he used to... He was friends or maybe he took that guy, Aaron.

Who cares? Nobody knows who you are, but this comic named Aaron. And he would take him on the road or something. And I think this was after I roast battled Aaron and he came up to us and he was like, hey man, good job, dude. You guys, you're hilarious. And I was like, ah, thanks man.

But I think we kind of sucked because I'm a hater. Yeah. And he was like, oh, well then fuck you then, man. And walked away, which i took as like a funny kind of riff like he's saying like oh come on like have more confidence or whatever so i was like oh i like this guy jeff but then now that i've seen some of the clips on the show i think he was serious i think he was saying fuck you because i was like ah we didn't do that great yeah and uh so now i i feel like i have a more of a view into what that guy's

like that's my jeff story jeff die story another thing too about that clip right we got some more jeff die coming in hot right now oh he's got more stuff yeah but uh another thing about that clip is that you could you could you could you could really tell like what comics are you know fucking on it society wise dude yeah fucking in. Fucking in the brain, dude. Because they acknowledge that Chang's is funny, dude. Oh, is he do that? Well, don't tell me. I'm not talking Jeff Dye, dude.

Oh, yeah. There's no way, right? No, dude. Jeff Dye's balls deep in fucking flipping off haters, B. He's balls deep in yelling at women, dude. I don't know why I said that. I'm so redacted. No, what I'm trying to say is that good comics fucking. Good comics realize that Chang's is funny. Acknowledge it, at least. And bad comics don't. why I said that. I'm so redacted. No, what I'm trying to say is that good comics fucking... Good comics realize it changes. Acknowledge it at least. And bad comics don't.

And then... No, I didn't say bad. Dude, why are you speaking for... I'm sorry. I'm speaking for... People like you are always talking for other people. What's it called? No, but other comics...

Right. I'm not saying they're funny or not because that's not my... Sure, sure, sure. Dude, I'm not the Holy Spirit. Right. Well, you're one of the 1,000. I am one of the thousand, but other comics when they say maybe because it's Brenda's right in front of them, you know, but when they say like, you know, those fucking people hating on you suck. They suck ass. I yelled at a woman. It's like so non

sequitur. Yeah, that is so good, dude. I love that, dude. I love defending Brandon and also saying that you yelled at a woman. That's just so funny. It's perfect. So many of the things that these guys do is like, oh, yeah, that's exactly. Like we mess up. I say stupid things all the time. You say stupid things all the time. But, you know, I think they're like, you know,

they're small things or they show how we're dumb. But we don't, there's're like, you know, there are small things or they show how we're dumb, but we don't. There's no like there's no clip where we're like defending a moron who's clearly bad at comedy and then go. Oh, and by the way, do I love I yelled at this woman, dude. Yeah, I was like, how dare you say Brandon shop isn't funny. That's why he's yelling. Oh my God, you fucking bitch. And the craziest thing about it. Poppy's hilarious is that Brendan Chobb is the least funniest. Oh, he's so bad. Any woman that has ever tried stand-up is better than Brendan Chobb. Yeah, for sure. That's where they start is I would imagine the woman that he's yelling at is probably confused. She's like, wait a minute.

You don't think I'm funnier than Brendan Chobb. Yeah, that hurts my feelings. You probably quit comedy. The only way to hurt someone's feelings is to tell somebody that Brendan Chobb is better than them. It's rough. It felt like you did to me right now, and I didn't like that feeling, dude. I would never say that about you.

Thanks, brother. All right, so this one's posted by Pharrell80s. It's called This Fucking Guy is the Worst. How did Hollywood go, B? Sometimes I don't believe rules apply to me. Why does she say that about you? Because I have acted in ways that

you would presume rules don't apply to me. Like a child. Chris Porter caught me doing this. I'm a stickler for lines. I will tell you to the day I die, I don't like rule breakers that cut lines. However will tell you to the day I die, I don't like rule breakers that cut lines, right? Right.

However, when I fly, I fly first class. And sometimes people, when they go to board, everyone just starts going like. I hate it. Like they don't know. It drives me crazy. And so I will very adamantly explain to people as I. Is this for first class? Are you for first class? Oh, nice.

Is this for first class? Is this first class yet? Are they calling? And then, and I'll just walk in front of everybody. You know why that triggered? Hmm. I don't get,

he's saying, yeah, this is another clip that went over my head. He's saying that he wants, he's first class. So he tells people, Hey, are you first class?

If not get in the back, poor guy. Is that what he's saying? Let's see the comments. Cause it kind of went over my head too. I just, I would honestly, it's like the worst story ever told, dude. I'm like, dude, let's get to the fucking point. People need to tell stories better, dude.

It's the fucking worst. You know, the world is broken when the clowns gets to make a good living for just being a bloated, drunk and telling. Okay. Yeah. See, that was, you you know let's be cool guys that was bam bam bigelow dude that's a sick ass name dude that clip makes me be like i gotta stop saying i like anyone yeah yeah that is a that it shows he's very out of touch yes if you're out

if you're waiting for first class and you're bothering other people about what they are it's like I just went on a vacation and I was waiting in the line I upgraded to comfort so I could get on the plane sooner but I wasn't like

looking around for other people you can just walk up and wait I wasn't in anyone's way if somebody was like are you first class I'd be like, eight inches. What are we doing here? Yeah, I just started doing shop. You make me uncomfortable.

I'm going to say shop as if I'm a scared animal. Listen, dude, when you're waiting in line for the plane, it's not taking off without you, baby. I'm just saying shit. This is it. But no, like also to who's bring in big bags for carry-ons. You know what I mean? I love doing the crack in the voice.

That is great. I'm catching it every time. I am laughing. The big bags for carry-ons. Dude, bring a laptop. Bring a fucking iPad. You don't need a box of Kleenex, dude. You know what I mean?

Nobody telling sad stories in first class, B. Yeah. The whole thing about getting on early is so that you can have space to put your fucking shit away, right? Yeah, definitely. That's the main part of it, yeah. I will say, though, you know, on top of this point, if I ever fly first class, the first time I fly first class, everyone's going to know. I'm going to be walking around.

Are you first class? I am. I am. It's like the bit you're like, you be walking around. Are you first class? I am. I am. It's like the bit you're like, you say you don't do that, and then you do it. I like it. People like you guys should try first class.

That's your takeaway, though. That's your takeaway. Dude, big guys that fit in first class seats like that doesn't make sense. Makes me mad. People are just bitches. That's what my that that Berkley. Let me just like people makes me mad. People are just bitches. That's what my... That... That... Burr clip.

That means people are fucking mean. People are bitches. Bitches. All right. This next one is posted by TemporaryAd2330. It's called Bapa Not So Balls Deep in Baseball When Yasiel Puig Gets Brought Up. I don't know what that means. Let's see.

I know Yasiel Puig used to play for the Dodgers, right? Yes. Yeah. Let's see. You don't get used to play for the Dodgers, right? Yes. Yeah. Let's see. You don't get into college? No. Oh, college, my shit. The Buffs?

My Buffs? Oh, my gosh. Yeah, I saw you tweet about it literally like a few minutes ago. Ballin', dude. Oh, there's me with Dwayne Wade, courtside. There's me with Yasiel Puig, Joel Lopez. When I tell you, like, Jeff invited me to a game, when I tell you he's Mr. Lakers I mean we parked with the players parked we walk in he's slapping the fucking security on the cheek down there he's

talking shit to Jenny bust the whole time it was so good damn dude well the bus family still does cocaine confirmed dude Jeff dies balls deep in the ice house dude I wish they would have kept The bus family still does cocaine. Confirmed. Dude, Jeff dies. Balls deep in the ice house, dude. I wish they would have kept the part in where he talks about how he yelled at Jenny bus, dude. He was that really? No, yeah. He screamed at her.

He's like, you don't think British was funny. People like you shouldn't own teams. That's what he said. Yeah. Yeah, dude. Anybody. It doesn't matter who you are. If you're just a random comic at the improv,

if you're the owner of the Lakers, if you're freaking Hillary Clinton, dude, Jeff Dye will light you up. Dude, Hillary Clinton is getting lit up. Oh, yeah. Lock her up. She talks about shop, dude. He's not even political.

He's like, all he cares about is his boys at Thick Boy Nation. I'm kind of disappointed in Chang big boy nation. I'm kind of disappointed in Chang's dude. I'm trying to crack my voice more. I was expecting a lot of or maybe I'm more, you know, disappointed in Bapa. I was expecting more Obama is gay

talk to you. Oh, well, you know, they're shop centric. Yeah, but maybe there's giving you some ideas there. I want it from shop dude. I don't want it from anyone else. Yeah, I'm surprised shop isn't. That's what I'm saying.

He didn't mention it at all. They said there was one clip last week where they were like, you know, Obama. What is he? He's like he likes it in the butt or something like that, dude. He likes smoking crack. Oh, man. All right. Well, let's see this one.

This one's posted by all I do is lie to you. It's called toe brings up Australian Shepherd dogs and guess who had one growing up. We typically do guessing segments on here, dude, and this one's in the title. So go ahead, take the floor, sir. Don't say eight inches. Wait, make it a little again. Yeah, no. Joe Rogan brought up Australian shepherd dogs. Oh, and guess who had one growing up? Oh, yeah. Well, Scoob, obviously. Okay, yeah.

See how easy it was if you would have just said shop? People take their time when they answer questions. I don't like that. Yeah, you put me on the spot, I have to think. Isn't that wild, like Australian shepherds, like Australian sheep herding dogs? They're like corral kids. They're like, come on, get over over there. I grew up with one.

My dad would have me and my brother run in a park and they're fucking circles around. Get the fuck out of here, dude. Smash trash. Dude. Yeah, no, you're right. That's the right reaction. At some point, you have to put your foot down

and be like, hey. Yeah, dude. Not everything. You don't have to say every little thing happened to you to relate. And we're fucking rooting for you, dude. Not everything. You don't have to say every little thing happened to you to relate. And we're fucking rooting for you, dude. You don't even have to say anything. You can just let it ride. Just let it ride, baby.

But he doesn't. Just a call before the storm. Yeah, dude. Wait a little bit. Yeah. Wait until the storm, dude. You don't have to make the call happen. No, man.

My dad used to have this. Not only does he have the dog, but the dog does the shit in Rogan's story. Yeah. Herded him. Yeah. No chance. Dude. Imagine getting herded by a dog.

Dude, this kind of sucks. What did the, yeah. Where did the dog herd them? It's real submissive. You know what I'm saying? So, Shob's dad just was like, dang, it's dinner time. Go get him, pooch. And the dog's like, what are we doing here?

And the dog picks him up by his teeth, carries both little Jay and little Shob into the house. Thank God I have this dog. I couldn't have just called him in the house. People need to get more Australian shepherds, dude. Yeah. This is an unknown common fact that these dogs herd kids. Chang's is lucky that Rogan doesn't have a dog now to hurt up those cats.

He'd keep you busy. Come on, get over this. I grew up with one. My dad would have me and my brother run in a park. It's a city dog. Bitch! A city dog. A city dog? It's a city hurting dog.

Dog, take off that hat. Yeah, the hat's whacked, too. It's a backwards money sign. Listen. It's not even the S. It's just the money symbol. I'm the biggest Sprint and Shop fan in this tiny little hostage room, dude. That chain is fire.

Okay. Yeah, it's not bad. There's nothing wrong with the chain and the shirt. He's also showing off a little bicep. I know you look. I see your visor looking over there, dude. Yeah, dude. Yeah, dude.

Yeah, that was a normal look for him. Get back. Get back. We got you. Old, old. You saw him.

He peaked at the right time, right there, man. Insane. What's he giving him? A cigar cutter. Oh, chomper.

Oh, chomper. Curious ending. Great, great result. Artistic. Yes. I like the art. Nice. Any thoughts on that, dude?

It's a great clip, dude. Very funny. Did you ever have an Australian shepherd growing up? Oh, yeah. You know, I mean, we had one. My mom used to send it out to herd me in the house. It was a city dog. You know, it would ride the metro, pick me up at my job.

My mom rode the metro. Oh, yeah? Yeah, it was the city. The city metro, dude. Oh, wow. Look at you. Look at you guys. I know.

What does he expect from... What does he expect the result to be? I don't know. Just words on a camera, I guess. What does he expect from what does he expect the result to be? I don't know. Just words on a camera. I guess you're already Joe Rogan's friend, dude. Yeah, it's like you've already done that. You don't need to be more as friend. What are you trying to accomplish? People just don't get it. This one's posted by all I do is lie

to you again. It's going to be at the New York Comedy Festival. Are you? Let's see. You do New York City every comedy festival are you let's see you do new york city every now and then yeah i'm at grampsie theater in uh november for the comedy festival that's thank you just gonna stand there watch me burn come on dude i don't want to see this man. Come on, bro. There's too many of these fucking where he's lying, dude.

Let's see. Search. Okay, so New York. Wait a minute. Last week, wasn't there a clip where he was? They had a bio for him. Do you remember that? I don't know if it was the same thing.

Let's see. I was like the Philly thing or something or like skank fest. Bill Burr search. Bill Burr live. Okay. Madison Square Garden. Jesus Christ, dude. They turn off the music.

I did. Oh, right. Yeah. You got the best brains. Dave Attell. Okay. Town Hall. You got the best brains. Dave Attell. Okay. Town Hall. You got it.

This is work. I think right here, though. I mean, honestly, great editing, you know, shot selection. Brennan shop. Oh, come on. Nothing. Come on, man. Zero.

Did he spell it right? Fucking shit, dude. Yeah, they spell. That'd be funny. He does have a show, but it's spelled S H C A U B. It's a shit. Yeah, man, dude. Well, he can perform over here at our mothership any day, dude.

Yeah, we'll get you come over here. We'll get you on fourth wall. Papa, you're on the podcast, dude, and that too. Jesus Christ, I want to get some stage time. That's the promo right there, baby. People love that, that dude this is supposed by ryan joseph eighty two it's called a shop finally got invited to the comedy mothership yeah i haven't seen this one yet i don't know if you have any either no let's see our road caster gadooshed about six minutes of us talking we'll

just start this clip over because i think it's the beginning of this clip where we stuck got cut off here. We'll try to recreate some magic. You know what I mean? Rest in peace to the audio. Like a gringo poppy shot again. Yep. Redo's, dude.

Redo. Redact. What are we doing here, dude? Water. Let's see. That green room's great at the mothership, Joe. That whole club is gorgeous. Dude, okay, first of all,

so we just watched this fucking clip, dude, and we commented on how they always talk about this, and now we have to watch it again. This is a fucked up form of torture, dude. It is kind of like Groundhog Day because they constantly relive these moments that they had sitting at a table together.

Just the best. The best to ever do it. It was the best. All those allegations. That was the best. This is a time when all of them are allegedly doing various crimes. We get together. We didn't ask where you were because we were afraid to hear the real answer.

And we talked about how good the sets were. You know, I remember one time, dude, I remember one time, dude, we were just sitting there. Brian came in. You know what he said? The funny just doubled up. I fucking laughed and laughed. I was like, the funny just doubled up.

And he's like, I'm going to get right in there. I'm going to do my 20 minutes. I'm going to fatten it up a bit. I'm going to funny just doubled up and he's like I'm gonna get right in there now I'm gonna do my 20 minutes I'm gonna fatten it up a bit I'm gonna fatten it up a bit dude remember we would be in the green room and Brian would never take no for an answer dude that's just like how he was dude dude the one time when we're in the green room and like Brian was me yeah Brian Schultz shop, all the greatest comedians ever do it. Yeah. And all of a sudden, like a fucking moose came in the green room and just started fucking Schultz to you.

He's like, do you just like fucking bitch Schultz's arm off? And then fucking Schultz tried to fight the moose. It's like you're going to lose. It's a moose. It's a moose. What are we doing here? You just took everything that was great at the Comedy Store, and then were like, I'm going to move here.

Yeah, make it a little better. Yeah. You know what? I didn't think about this because it's never been said before ever, but the mothership is kind of like the Comedy Store. A table. It's like, I mean, it's like the comedy store is, I think you'd be surprised. No.

The mothership is the Gringo Poppy, but then you go to the comedy store and you're like, I think you'd be surprised because it's the same fucking place. Yeah, dude. Oh, dude. Seven times a week. Virtually identical. Yeah, dude. Seven times a week. Virtually identical. Yeah. Absolutely beautiful.

Yeah, we did everything the right way. You know, we set it up the right way. It took a long ass time and, you know. Just being in that green room with Schultz and everybody.

And we were all talking shit. It was so good to be together. I miss that. I fucking miss that. Yeah. We don't get that now. so good to be together. I miss that, man. I fucking miss that. Yeah. We don't get that now. I fucking miss it, dude. I fucking miss it hard.

I miss the time that Joe Rogan spent with Andrew Schultz more than I miss my grandparents. Dude, I miss when Chris D'Elia would bring 18-year-olds to the comedy store, dude. Dude. D'Elia, dude. Don't even get me started. Dude, the fucking dolphin bit, dude.

You knew he was there when he was like, I missed that. We had that at the store. Yeah, we did. Where it was like a fun hang. Where you would go, you know, you do your weekends on the road or whatever. But when you're in town on the weekdays,

you're hanging out with your boys. We would laugh and talk shit and hug each other. So fun. Dude, every day at the comedy store. Every day at the comedy store. Every day at the comedy store. It was just bone oil. Every step was bone oil. And we got a lot of really good up and coming people.

In Austin? They're great, bro. The comics out here, man. Big shout-out to them. I saw some of these young guys. Great writers and sassists. I miss that. If you build it, they'll come and go build it.

Darling. The guy that goes like, darling, I loved hanging in the green room with you so much. The Sunset Strip was a hot place to be. You know what I'm talking about, baby. The best nights of our lives. Spent there watching Shob talk to Anna Letterman.

When I whispered in your ear, I said, Bono alert. And you said no. I said eight inches, baby. Damn, Esther goes both ways. Esther was out there going both ways. We have this two-night open mic program, and we also have door people at the store, or at the mothership, rather, that all are comics.

So they auditioned in front of Adam to become a door person with their act. So they had to have promise as a comic. So the whole idea is to have a mentorship program and have a program where you can be a guy who's working the door and you've been doing open mics for a year and next thing you're hanging out at the bar. The worst podcast

of all time, dude. Yeah, it's bad. And he's right now he's talking about door guys. The mentorship. And we were saying that Schaub should do that because it'd be very funny if Schaub was a door guy at the store. Yeah. Or I mean the mothership. Yeah, dude. You want to sit in the front?

That's your only takeaway? But yeah, the front's like the best place to sit, dude. He's just doing bits. He's terrible at the job. Do I get on tonight? Can I do five minutes at the beginning? No, no, no, no, no, no. You would not ask for five minutes, dude.

Well, that's what he'd get as a door guy. You know, I can't do anything. He'd start complaining, dude. Oh, yeah, no, no, no, no. You would not ask for five minutes, dude. Well, that's what he'd get as a door guy. You know, I can't do anything. He'd start complaining, dude. Oh, yeah, for sure. He would immediately start complaining. He starts smoking cigarettes with all the other door guys. He's like, they only give us five minutes, dude. I have a 24-minute special on YouTube, dude.

We're with Andrew Schultz, and we're all palling around together. And there's this vibe there. There's this sort of camaraderie. Yeah, there's a vibe there. Let's just say it's not a Jeff Dye vibe. Yeah, no. We don't yell at women anymore, dude. At the mothership, is that what you're saying? Yeah, that's an LA thing. Oh yeah, right.

That makes you feel like you're a part of something and it doesn't matter if you're just starting and this person just headlined Madison Square Garden. It doesn't matter. We're all just comedians. just headlined Madison Square Garden. It doesn't matter. We're all just comedians. And that's all you, brother. That's your thing. The same thing you did in LA.

You left and it's fucking... Everyone should try to adopt that because we need more comics and it's hard. It's hard. We don't need more comics, Joe Rogan. No. There's a thousand and that's the amount. And you know what, dude?

Not only that. Ga-ga-ga-ga-ga. With the whole fucking open mic system. And if you're an open mic or in Austin, please discuss this with us in the comments. I'll respond. But I've heard bad things about the open mic system in fucking

Austin, dude. Really? There's too many comics. Oh, yeah. It could be. I remember I saw like some clip, one of the clips we watched. They had like a crazy amount of the clips we watched they had like a crazy amount of people waiting to go on to kill tony like the lines they did kick people out or something see this is not an open state of thing kill tony is not an open mic i know but like it's a glorified meeting greet what i'm saying those all those guys they probably go to those mics oh

you're right you're right sorry about that i didn't i shopped you there i i coonied you there dude yeah but uh yeah it's fucking the hottest place of all time texas it's just like the sun is directly above texas apparently and fucking wet humid bugs you know what i'm saying yeah little bugs like this guy right here joe rogan dude just out there fucking started comedy close i like. You can't even suck dick for five minutes in the belly room, dude. That's fucked up. You used to be able to do that. Yeah. Back in the good days, dude.

Remember when we were fucking out there, dude? I was going to be like, did you hear about that one time I did five minutes in the belly room, dude? Dude, it's hard. And it's hard to do when you feel like you're getting shit on by your peers. Like, you want support. It's so hard, bro. It's so hard. It's so hard to say goodbye. Yeah. It's so hard, bro. It is so hard. It's so hard to say goodbye.

It's so hard to say goodbye to the comedy store. What's that one song by the Blink-182, I Miss You? Oh. Ba-boom-boom. Ba-boom-boom.

There's a lot of funny people in LA. Something, something, something. The crowd's just weird. It's not the club's fault. They can't make people magically change out what they find fun. Well, you bring a good crowd to a place with good comedy. That was the start of the comedy club, Acosta.

It'd be Rogan, Bill Burr. Nobody gives a fuck who was in the green room, dude. They should play some Blink-182 or Boyz II Men over this, like Adam's Song. Yeah. Escalco. David Tell. Joey Diaz. Tom Segura.

Theo. It'd be the biggest comics ever, and it'd be the lineup. And I'd be like, this is the lineup I'm in? I would miss the lineup. I could not believe it, dude. That's a Tuesday. I was in a comedy club, and I saw Tom Segura's name. Oh, my God.

I fucking came in my pants. This should be called the Eagle Companion, dude. Yeah, dude. These guys shut up. And friend shows that we used to do. You suck at comedy, Brian. You're not funny. Yeah, he sucks.

What are you surprised about? We're in the main room. room with some of my favorite shows. You should be surprised that you're on it there, that people are still putting you on things. You never made anyone laugh. You suck. Let's try to power through this here. 40 seconds left.

People just stop in. Like, get up there. Get up there. And so that's what we're doing here. Any night, you'll see Ron White, Shane Gillis. You remember when you did Rogan and the Friend at the Improv and the power was off and we still did stand-up and my voice was gone? Yes. I did stand-up with just yelling.

With candles. No, hold on. With candles. Legit candles. And there was a generator that gave us one little light. There was one little emergency light. We set that up. We're going to cancel the show.

And I was like, this would be fun. Let's have fun. And it was so fun. Everybody loved it. The audience loved it. It was so cool that we're just doing stand-up with no microphone. And you got to kind of see how you use the mic and what you can do with no mic. Gay people.

I changed my mind, dude. That sounds like a really good time. No microphone and candles with Joe Rogan and Brennan child. Come on, dude. Ball's deep in that. Come on, bro. Come on, bro. All right.

Let's get that clip, dude. Skits and bears posted by Sorg on bird. I mean, this one's called CEO finds John Africa. Let's see what this is. Not me. Not you, but one of your friends, Luke. Brendan Schaub! Yeah, baby! Wow!

Who the hell is John Africa? He's standing right there, Luke. Look at that! Yes. And Luke, speaking of John Africa... Skits and bits. You just couldn't resist, you fuck. Put that back up. Nice. Yeah, skits and bits. You just couldn't resist, you fuck. Put that back up. Nice. Yeah, skids and bits.

Spicy recooked dish from the press. Is that recooked? Well, just the John Africa part. Oh, okay. Yeah. I mean, I guess recooked might not be the right word. Very good. All right. So this one's posted by WhoTheFuckAreWe. It's called This Almost As Good As

When Malik Hurt His Feelings. Let's see. You don't go to a planet that is 80% water, and you're allergic to that, and you go to this planet? Just check things out. They didn't think they were throwing it in their face. Maybe they were cool. You can see it from outside in outer space.

It's all blue. Head science officer right here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was also the I.T. guy for an Independence Day. I.T. guy. Yeah, I.T. guy. What else?

No, no, no, no. Oh, my God. Jesus Christ. He wanted to go to the next clip. Dude, I will say I don't know. I don't know about what they were talking about, dude, but I do have a little beef with signs. I think they I don't know. I don't know about what they were talking about dude, but I do have a little beef with signs. I think they're talking about signs. The movie talking about signs me. You've seen it right great movie special time. I don't know why we were so hyped about one alien

dude. It's like a bunch of aliens came whatever, but they only showed him fight one alien. It's like come on on, dude. You know what I mean? Come on, M. Night Shyamalan. Can't get a fucking war scene of aliens and humans, and then they realize that the water is bad. You know what I mean? You know why? You know why you think that, right? You know why.

What? Do you know why? What? Because you're a numbers guy, V. I'm a numbers guy. You're a numbers guy. That's why you think that. We need more aliens.

Of course you did. You've always been a numbers guy. There's times where I am indeed a numbers guy dude and right now is one of them. Dude, one alien dude can't fight who you are be and the alien was injured kind of bitch ass aliens and they send to our fucking planet dude. I heard a Sam string trying to race another alien dude. They were more fucking loyal to their cause in fucking Japan and during World War Two. That alien should have killed himself, dude.

Well, you know what we should have done is find Hitler in World War Two. Oh my God. Let's see here. All right. So this next one's posted by all I do is lie to you. It's called Curiosity. Gadoosh the cat hair is the lit me up a little joke from the Gomez special special so i might have to

cut this part out of the the podcast but if you go to our patreon you get early access and uncut versions of tmos all right here goes at this point in my life i've had to apologize to three separate mentally handicapped athletes and the third mentally handicapped athlete that we had to apologize to on behalf of the legion of skanks was Brendan Schaub, who is a comedian and a former MMA fighter. All right, New York City. I gotta go. That's not as close. No.

Was that? That was his closer? I think so. Yeah. Oh, you want to review it? That's crazy. I didn't know that. That's the craziest thing we've ever seen.

His closer is a Brennan shop joke. Yeah, I guess. Well, I mean, he probably doesn't talk about him at all. Other than that, I guess that's wild. I haven't seen it yet. People talk about us. Do we have a show? This is the culture, baby.

Daddy, daddy. Brennan shop has taken over. Comedians are now using their closer joke as a Brennan Schaaf thing. That's crazy. Brennan Schaaf. Ever heard of him? He wanted those views, Papa. Yeah.

I know what you're doing, Luis. Speaking of specials, dude, have you seen Shane Gillis' new special? Yeah, but not by some. No, not yet. No, I haven't watched it. Fucking fire. I'm waiting, dude. I'm waiting. I wasn't. No, not not yet. No, I haven't watched fucking fire. I'm waiting, dude. Wait, I enjoyed it. You never know. So this one's posted by Tio Sanders. It's called post bathroom break hang with friends. I want to say one thing post. I have. I came back from mass

and I went to a nature preserve. I have mosquito bites all over my legs and I still I'm not doing this as much as job does does. Oh, yeah. Just pointing that out. All right, let's see. Oh, actually. Oh, wrong clip again. Let's see here. Bro, here's the thing.

He's going to be better in his next fight now, because now he knows what he did to Izzy. He's going to be better. So is is he so I think they're trying to insinuate that he's doing drugs, which I'm not only yeah. Oh, I'm not a big fan of that because he's a sober individual and I'm also sober almost five years this coming week. So yeah, you block bus a to Sanders. No, I mean yeah, maybe he's dude. Sober people are one of some of the weirdest people I've ever made in my life. Oh

yeah yeah yeah, I could see getting weird when you don't and you take something out of your life. Yeah, like if you were to stop drinking, we'd see a whole different side of coony. Do I don't really drink that so that's what the alcoholics say. Yeah, that's what people that have a really bad problem say. I don't even try. I have like seven drinks a night. It's not bad. No, I'm just joking. Seven drinks a week.

I don't even have that. All right. This next one is posted by a responsible bar. Forty seven. Eighty seven. It's called Togi's pissed at Callan and calls him a mooch. Did you bring a gold coin? No, that was here.

Somebody left this here. Yeah, don't eat it. Put it down. Put it down. You eat everything. You ate a shrimp. Oh, yeah, I took one shrimp. You don't even ask, though.

You just reach and grab people's food. Okay. You always do that. You always take a cut of people's steak. Tell me he doesn't. Tell me he doesn't. I've never done that in my life You always do that. You always take a cut of people's steak. Tell me he doesn't. Tell me he doesn't. I've never done that in my life. You do that all the time.

I've taken a cut of your steak. Oh, my God. Let me try some of that. You've done that. Oh, my God. When have I ever done that? I've heard people complain about it. I hate when people do that shit.

I have a friend that does that. He's always like, let me try that. Let me try this. Let me try that. It's like, dude, let me offer it to you yeah okay you you uh your blog boss if it quacks flaps its wings you know has some fucking paddle feet it's a duck dude yeah brian likes to take what's not his yeah he's not a hawk he's a duck yeah i always tell my son don't be a brian be a gerardo i'm like oh my god he did it to me

that's my room that's the room you cut people's food and you eat it that's the word yeah he doesn't really ask for consent right on the street yeah people are talking like that was good let me try that like hey i bully into other people's plates not bully just move i just move it's a mooch move more fucking i'll take this I'll steal this fucking chocolate, bro. Somebody gave that to me. Forget what it is. Yeah, why'd you open it? I told you not to open it.

I did, and it just came off. Go back. It's chocolate. Jesus. Are you opening the fucking chocolate? I did take your sake. It's good. This is good sake.

Don't steal dad's chocolate. He's our dad. He won't invite us back. People are just bitches. People are always stealing food Chocolate? Yeah Super free

Oh yeah His chocolate's all fucked up Here chocolate Open my chocolate You gotta fucking keep it sealed bro Yeah it was I was looking to see if it was real gold You opened the seal

I could pocket it You thought it was real gold And it weighs nothing Yeah I would've taken it Sold it on the black market Fuck Brogan's like I fucking made friends with gold and it weighs nothing. I would have taken it and sold it on the black market. Rogan's like I fucking made friends with six chill like child adults

and this is what I have to live with. They eat my candy in front of me. I can imagine it's like being on like a coke field binge and then like out of that comes a kid you know and then sobriety too and then every time you see that kid, you're just like I did a lot of coke that comes a kid, you know, and then sobriety too, and then every time you see that kid, you're just like I did a lot of

coke back in the day, you know, just like yeah, maybe Christ. That's the thinking the kids just like yeah. You're saying they're like crack babies. I didn't say that because that's different. That's when the dear mom's doing coke and stuff right, but you the kid, the time, special time, you know what I mean? Maybe it was out of wedlock, dude. You weren't even married. That's disgusting. All right, let's

go to this one, dude. This one's called Never Forget Stand Up Is The Hardest. B-Slob Just Couldn't Let It Pass, posted by Pharrell80s. Busy. In my heart, I love this. What's not to love about him? This is the game they play. This is the game they play. This is the game they play.

Izzy even came out and defended you. You know what I'm saying? Izzy's the fucking man. Izzy's great in all ways. In MMA, you're going to have a winner and you're going to have a loser. Every now and then, you see something special. Tonight was special. I always say when I watch that, though,

I'm always thankful that it it's such a hard it's such a hard gig oh my fuck it might be the hardest gig right I mean you end up being a firefighter a cop or a soldier maybe a football player it's one of the hardest ways to make a living yeah yeah don't don't don't discredit Stand-up's a hard way to make a living. Stand-up's tough. I mean, I know you've been doing it for 50 years. I'm standing up. Dude. I love it, dude.

I love it. It's not what takes balls to say that. Dude, did you see Brett? After all the beating he's taken. Shop has a fucking apron on, dude. He's cooking right now, dude. Oh, yeah? Yeah, dude.

He's in the kitchen making dishes for himself. He's behind the orange chicken wok. He's like, I. Oh yeah, yeah, he's in the kitchen making dishes up for himself behind the orange. He's like I'm gonna get some more views right now. I got millions and millions but I'm going to say that stand up is harder than firefighting. All right, this one's supposed to be light you up be it's called dicey dicey with the tag dicey dicey and then it said

live feed, but an awkward cut after Rogan calls Brian annoying. Let's see. Good for you. It's not good to have pesticides and herbicides. Listen to me right now. I don't buy a fucking thing the Russians say in Europe. And you're buying it.

You're buying Putin propaganda. You're buying the Ukraine. Why am I buying it? I'm not buying anything. You're a Putin shill. What I'm saying is they're talking about it on television, Brian. You're a Putin shill. Brian, you're being annoying.

They're talking about it on television. Much better.'re a Putin show. Brian, you're being annoying. They're talking about it on much better. That boy is very happy with those ones on his legs and his lower back. Then the painful ones where they tap you. I love it. He just is like, nope. That's so funny. I feel like that, but I feel like there's a longer one of that. So no wonder these dudes suck up to toe so much.

The moment you question him, he sulks like a child by Higgs Boston Blues. Let's see the ending because it's the same clip. Brian, you're being annoying. They're talking about it on. Oh, so it did cut like that during the live feed. I don't know. I can't. I never know what's true. It's not with Chang's, but it did cut like that during the live feed. I don't know. I can't.

I never know what's true. What's not with chains, but it's just so funny. That's wild. If not true, great editing. Wow. All right, let's go to the next one. This one's called all this time off and Brendan still using the same. Oh, this is a classic. Yeah.

Posted by Ryan Joseph. Eighty two. Ryan did some great clips. He was cooking. Fuck. There's steam coming out of his little cubicle at the fucking chicken kitchen. Chicken. For those of you in this room that said

dick pics, explain to me how in the world you said a bad dick pic. It makes no sense. You're the director of the movie, Baba. I don't know if that's real, though. You're the director of the movie. I don't know if that's real, though. You're the director of the movie, Baba. I don't know if that's real, though, because there's only two C's. If it's not three C's, it didn't come from Brenda.

Yeah, you're right. Yeah. So that's easy. Fact check right there. Be let's get pushing here because we're already at fucking hour and a half. Oh, shit. This one's called Brian tries to weasel in an invite for Brenda and him to sit behind Joe at UFC 300. Posted by All I Do Is Lie To You, dude.

Let's see. At 5-0. Yeah, let's see what Izzy says. Did he leave? Yeah, he's out of the off-gun. He left. Be curious what he posts. Curious.

What a feeling, though, right? Curious. Wow wow rematch UFC 300 it's the greatest UFC 300 rematch in Vegas Sean Strickland's hometown let's all sit behind Joe Rogan we might have to go to that one

let's go boys just think about the year in the UFC so you had Sugar Sean upset Aljo I used to be you know how people have chips on their shoulder Just think about the year in the UFC. So you had Sugar Sean upset Aljo. I used to be, dude, you know how people have chips on their shoulder? I used to have a fucking stack of Pringles against Dana White. It's all good now. Thank God he made some of those choices he made that, you know,

the reason I left the UFC, and I'm grateful for him now. Is it really all good, or are you just kind of, like, accepting, like, whatever, it's in the past, I'm just going to not care about it anymore? No, it's all good. You have had conversations and shit. No. Oh dude, there should be like a warning for like an Adam 22 jump scare right there. Do you guys a weirdo?

It's a sicko fucking. Have you heard about that guy? Not really. Any thoughts? Are you falling asleep already? I got I got a good douche a little bit when you're like, let's get through this. I was like, all right, let's get through. Oh, I was just fucking tell me something. I just go be just banters where we make the money, baby.

But what are the chances, dude, that Brendan and Brian are sitting behind Joe at any UFC event? No, let alone one of the biggest cards probably of the year. No chance. No chance. All right. So this one's posted by Ryan Joseph 82. Dude, he's out here. It's called Callan's new political show. Murders Row

episode one. Is it called Murders Row? I don't know. I think it's probably not. It's probably just joking around like so because they're all there. They're like not doing well. I think I did see this. It's probably just joking around because they're all there. Oh, okay. They're not doing well. I think I did see this clip. You did? I've seen all the Ryan Joseph clips.

Oh, okay. This one has a jump scare Jim Brewer. Yeah, is this the one where Jim Brewer is like, like he pretends to be the German guy? I just saw that and I stopped it. I didn't watch the rest of it. Okay. Let's see.

Oh, whoops. Oh, fucking it up. Let's go. Professional wrestler. but it's good you get this side to believe in this and bigger and somehow we even get homosexuals to start fighting one another it would be brilliant send a thunder sire make sure all the media pushes out immediately put on the time magazine yeah yeah yeah. I remember magazines. That's Klaus Schwab he's doing.

I remember magazines. Dead on. One was Monday. They were going to destroy the entire nation. When is it when you get fat that you can hear it? You know, when you hear a voice? It's like in his throat? Yeah.

Like in his mouth. you know when you hear a voice you're like yeah destroy one another and watch their blood yeah but i think it i think it's also important though to where i don't do the both the both sides thing either because there is there is truth you know so the beginning i don't understand because he says professional wrestling but then he goes into like a Nazi bad guy thing. Yeah. And then I feel bad for them that they have to pretend that that's

funny. They have to go, yeah, I hate that. And then Crowder calls Jim Burr fat. Oh, no. He says it's funny how you could hear the fat in somebody's voice. So who is K no. He says Klaus, it's funny how you could hear the fat in somebody's voice. So who is Klaus Schwab?

Klaus Schwab of World Economic Forum. That's right. Right. Is he fat? Yeah. I mean, it's a good description. So he's calling him fat. He's trying to like... He's not fat. He's like... His voice just sounds fat, I think is what he's saying. Okay. Well, I think that

Crowder is realizing how horrible this bit is, even though Crowder is not funny. Yeah. He's realizing like, okay, this is bombing. I'm going to try and talk about fat voice. Yeah. And maybe we'll strike comedy gold there. Yeah.

Because of how bad the monster villain thing that Brewer is doing. I think you're just scared, dude, because the right's getting funny. I'm terrified now. After watching that, I can't. Let's see here. One truth. It's not your truth. It's not my truth. Right. People say my truth. Well, there's a truth. That's what it is.

They say, the left says my truth. But Stephen, that's... It's just evil. They're all nice words for evil yeah that's right it starts with a language but what's good guys is that when you say that like you just said that there is the truth when you have this f***ing madness over here all it does is get it forces you to start defining the bedrock you're anchored into it started it forced any thoughts it's a lot of i can't watch this yeah it's bad but i like i like when brian talks because this reminds me that speech he gave

at the crowder thing where he's like oh yeah they're trying to silence us and you know that happens when the people stand up and me and in crowder fest over here we're ready. We're going to make you laugh and we're going to make you think until they arrest us and then we're going to do it from prison and like all this weird like shit. Strap the fuck you. What are we

doing here? This is you to kind of solidify your political and moral philosophy. That's not a bad thing, but it's when you start to see that there's a title. It's bad to be in a soapbox when you're a comedian. Never works. Being in a soapbox is like the least funny place to be. What's a soapbox?

It's like a literal thing that you stand on. That's just a metaphor for like people that give speeches and stuff, but I think it comes from like a soapbox. Someone just literally standing on it and giving a speech. That's my guess. I don't know. I always know soap to like clean my body. I didn't know they were making boxes now.

That wave of insanity coming your way and you got to go. Hey guys, we got to, I got to batten down the hatches and I need, I need to figure out what I'm standing on. Let's make sure we got our guns lined up and clean and our powder is fucking dry that's that's that's a good notice nobody's talking yeah they're just letting him go they're just like the best place and the funny it doesn't come standing on soapbox you know where it comes from red fucking chairs yeah dude two

movie chairs that's where you make fun that's dude. He doesn't have his fucking red chair. You notice what he's not talking about? Baddies. Numbers. The table. All the shit that we want. Gays. Analytics. Yeah.

That's what I'm saying. Analytics. Shadow ban. Shadow ban. You just said, when you just said, there's not your truth, there's the truth. Right. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. But the problem is when you said, when you just said, there's not your truth, there's the truth. Right. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

But the problem is when you have people in positions of power. That's why I always say, you know, they say the military industrial complex. Remember Code Pink? No. Bro, the most fucking stupid. Fuck Stephen Crowder. Fuck Jim Brewer. Fuck Brian Callen.

And that fucking weird looking bald dude. Dude, dude. Oh, he's a famous comic. I'm just so tired. I don't remember what his name is. He's actually pretty funny. Okay. So this is the last clip because this is a long episode. Or's a famous comic. I'm just so tired. I don't remember what his name is. He's actually pretty funny. Okay, so let's this is the last clip because this is a long episode or used to be. Let's see here. This one's posted by all I do is lie to you. It's called the studios. A C got cut down by fifty

percent by the owners. I haven't seen this one yet, but I got to say the fucking title is the most intriguing. Let's see. It's warm in here, bro. It's warm. I create a lot of heat. It might see. It's warm in here, bro. It's warm. I create a lot of heat. It might be the magic mind. You're feeling in a flow state. You feel better? I feel better, but I'm hot

because the AC, they decided to cut down on the 30%. See, I like the heat. Something happened. Do you do better? You do very well in the cold? I do well in all, but I would, you know,

I prefer in my studio to be cold. Even weather. Any, any temperature. Yeah. But you have no problem. In the middle of the summer. You have no problem. Why would they, I prefer in my studio weather, any, any temperature. Yeah, but you have no middle of the summer. Why would they? Who is the overseers of T fat? K?

I don't know. I love how he says I do. I do good in every weather. It doesn't matter whether it's cold or hot, mild. I'm going to fucking ball out. Yeah, leg flicks,

Papa, Didi. Okay, well, let's finish it off with this one then, dude, because I did watch a little ball out. Yeah. Netflix, Papa, Diddy. Okay. Well, let's finish it off with this one then, dude, because I did watch a little bit of this one. I thought it was hilarious. This last clip? Yeah, last clip, dude.

Fucking Jesus Christ. How many clips were there this week? It's a long one. Let's see here. Yeah, Joe Coy's a monster. Joe Coy crushed it. So funny. He went on before.

He goes, he walks in. He goes, oh, good to see you. I'm going to go on. What? He goes, you're next? I'm going to go on. All right. Dude, 30 minutes of just improv and crushing yeah just straight off the dome such a savage and then we get done around midnight he goes you want to go get tattoos

what it's midnight joe he goes i don't get this tattoo artist man i do want one but i'm not good and he goes yeah i'm gonna get this full sleeve i man. I do want one, but I'm not going to. And he goes, yeah, I'm going to get this full sleeve. I'm like, bro, you're going to be up to seven in the morning. He's like, you'll go after him. I'm like, no, no, no. Hey, he flies private. It doesn't matter. Yeah, yeah.

Different animal. I don't think that's true. What is the box? Is that a magic? Oh, the box, I guess. Let's watch this one. Okay, so first of all, the last clip was posted by all I do is lie to you. Papa got bumped by Joe Coy at a club, and then this one's posted by

haphazard, dude. Oh, throwing it out with a bang here, dude. Mr. Morning. Mr. Morning drinker gets mad at chin for drinking. Ready? All right.

What do you got, Jen? Oh, actually, let's at Chin for drinking. Ready? Alright, what do you got, Chin? Oh, actually. You're drinking already, huh, Chin? Me and Georgie, because we thought we were going to go get dinner tonight. We're doing it tomorrow. No, not dinner. I've never said dinner. Or lunch, yeah, whatever. It would be like a celebration. Yeah. Let's see here. Georgie,

I need your help on this. I'll tell you what, speaking of snorting and sucking, I'll tell you something that I gobbled down. You gobbled down? I have no clue what that thing in the middle is, dude, but he says, speaking of snorting and sucking, dude. I was thinking they were a magic mind probably because Brian said something about a magic mind.

I thought that they had a bit maybe where they were all going to drink at the same time, but is he saying that Chin is getting drunk? I think so, yeah. Damn, dude. That's messed up. It does look like he's missing out because he's drinking on that big gulp. All right, one last thing.

What's that? The drinking already, there used to be this app where you can make it look like people are calling each other. So if I did it to you and Miguel, it looks like Miguel is calling you and vice versa. I did that to this bar manager and the owner of the bar just to mess with them. They're friends of mine. I did not think this was going to happen.

But you would get to hear like a minute of the conversation. And it goes, it's like, hey uh hey sean and then you hear hey rudy and then he's like what's up sean and sean's like you called me rudy and then there's this pause for a second and rudy the owner of the bar goes drinking already sean i was like oh fuck i can't believe i did that. I feel so bad. So that's what Brendan just said to Chin. Yeah. If you enjoyed our show, tune in next week. Bye. Later.