10 Minutes of Schaub - Brendan Schaub THINKS Comedy is a TEAM SPORT! | 10 Minutes of Schaub #65

Episode Date: October 1, 2023

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Bobby Lee was his name and he served on the line of change Till Brandon's evidence came and dug up the truth on him Back then you'd be surprised, we was homeless, was a special time By April, Gringo had fell It's a time I remember oh so well The night they could do store Brenda down And the dicks were slanging The night they could do store Brenda down And the dicks were slinging The night they could do Stop, rip it down

And the cats were singing They went shop, shop, shop, shop, shop Shop, shop, shop, shop, shop, shop One take Stop at my favorite time of the week When you get to hear Papa try to speak Release surprises today Welcome back to 10 Minutes of Shop. Thanks for tuning in. As always, join the Patreon if you'd like.

We've been reviewing stand-up specials. The most recent one was You'd Be Surprised, which was so good. It was so hard to get through that. So hard to get through. It was very hard to sit through. Yeah. But I just want to say a thank you to all the people that subscribed to the podcast because, I mean, to the Patreon, because, you know, with your help,

we were able to actually get another mat to put on top of the mat that was already there. Yeah, we're working three mats deep right there. Yeah, and there's also soundproofing now too. Yeah. It's very hard to afford a podcast studio, so we're building it up. We're trying to build up the ground that everybody walks on, and we got this soundproofing thing. So this is going to help out a lot with the sound. We've been drilling down the soundproofing thing so this is going to help out a lot with the sound

you know we've been drilling down the soundproofing things yeah we got as you can see right there yeah yeah we can't do that without your help so anyways but that's not why you're here though i just want to say thank you you just want to thank him yeah thank you i got one i got a couple mats myself and i just want to say that all the mats were Gerardo's doing. But anyway, fucking bitch, that's not me. This is how the room was before I got here, dude. Yeah. Painted narrative.

I'd say ever heard of it. Gerardo did all of it. We changed the cameras one week and it exposes your lack. I didn't even realize those are bad mats for soundproofing. The sound is so good. I walked in this room. I was like, this room has good sound. All right.

But anyways, that's not why you're here, dude. You're not here for that. You're here to watch 10 Mr. Shops. So play the chin clip. Start the timer now. All right. So the first clip is posted by Pharrell 80s. It's called the Rogan.

Laugh phase has to be up there as one of the most whack job things he's ever done to try and go viral lopez. I did the mats. He doesn't try to go viral with a rogan laugh, does he? I don't know, but he does it a lot. Yeah, yeah, the rogan laugh is kind of like his seven times a week. That's his also. Yeah, that is it. Yeah. They're both this.

Here goes. You're on GT3. All right. Take it easy, Brennan. Brennan, take it easy. Brennan, take it easy. GT2 chin. You're hilarious today.

Come on, bro. Yeah. I see a ton of people making Tiger King shirts and shit. Yeah. And by that, we mean Tom Segura. That's exactly what I meant! That's exactly what I meant! Who?

Who? You sounded like Rogan right there. Who? Tom Segura? Who? Whatever you factor in, Bert. Every time we watch a clip that we've seen, it's like Groundhog Day. But Groundhog Day is a great movie. You know what I mean?

You know what I'm saying? So I enjoy it again. I watched the Gringo Poppy earlier today, dude. I know. Yeah, you watched it for inspiration about something that we may drop at a later date. So keep an eye out for that. Yeah. That's going to be huge when it happens.

It's just as big as the Mets. Oh, yeah. It could. Well, I don't know. It could be. It could be bigger. Could be bigger as the mats oh yeah it could well i don't know it could be it could be bigger could be bigger than the mats yeah um all right so we got the next clip oh fuck this is i want to i want to thank everyone we got a lot more uh wires and stuff also not just mats yeah in reality we did actually get new stuff we got lights mounted to the walls now the rod mounted to the walls you don't care about any of that.

But there's mounts now, so thank you for that. Yeah. All right. So this next clip is posted by Vanilla Cupcake. It's called Tom Bout apologizing for canceling European tour dates. Not one of our guys be. We should be watching his special pretty soon here. Right.

Let's see what this is about. For the beautiful people of London and Amsterdam, I wanted to apologize for canceling the shows in September. I'm sure you got an email about it already, but I wanted to personally say I'm sorry for fucking you in the ass and betraying you even though you are beloved to me. I honestly just fucked up my timing this summer mismanaged my shit i got busy as fuck i was supposed to take it easy and prepare for this tour and really have my shit

ready to launch in london and amsterdam but i'm just not ready i haven't done stand-up in months i haven't worked on my act in months it's funny he hasn't done stand-up in a while brendan has done stand-up like every night. You know? And still, the reason he cancels is because no one's coming. People are dying to see Stav. He's like, I haven't done stand-up in a few years. But I'm sorry I can't.

I'm a piece of shit. Brendan's like, I have done stand-up every night, but my son needs to know how to play t-ball. Dun, dun, dun. Yeah. All right, you're good. And the shows would have been pretty fucking dog shit. And I would have just basically been taking your money to finance a European vacation, and I would feel bad about doing that. So it breaks my heart. I wanted to be there.

I wanted to fucking have some fish and chips. Fuck maybe one of those bitches that wears too much makeup, a chav or whatever the fuck they call them. I wanted to fucking get on a bike ride in Amsterdam up the canals, do some mushrooms maybe. Check out some of the other industries in your city. And I've canceled that. I'm not going on the vacation anymore. I'm just trying to – I'm taking the extra time off to prepare for the tour so i don't fuck that up too so uh i'm really sorry i love you please find it in your hearts to forgive me and i hope to launch a real european tour that i will

not back out on uh very soon stay tuned i love you i'm-bye. He's not one of our guys, and I don't really know him. He's a great guy. Yeah. But having not really known much about him, I've already forgiven him from this thing. I forgive him. And I don't have anything to do with European tours. I'm not there to be.

I'm in New England. Yeah, for me, that's a continent, not the state. Absolutely. It's so stupid. I forgive him. This t-shirt is backwards, so everyone can see the Gringo Poppy, but shout out, of course, to Brendan Walsh. Oh, yeah.

For World Record Pod for buying us more merch. Brendan Walsh, great comic. Never seen him. Never seen him. The Dicey shirt also. The Dicey shirt is legitimately a good shirt. Oh, yeah. Also, too, Brendan Walsh called me out last week.

Oh, yeah? He was like, yo, dude, why aren't you wearing the fucking shirts? I got you without the customer. Listen, Brandon, be cool. We can't wear them every time. This shirt is too tight, even though it said it was large. I literally had to do laundry just so I can not piss off Brendan. That's good that you did it. Yeah, you're that white boy that worked. Typically don't do a lot of laundry during the week, but all right, let's go to the next clip. This next one's called two more shows. Cancel the God. It's posted by all I do is lie to you.

Is this their new set? No, no, it's I think it's this guy show me. Okay, I'm guessing. Let's see. That's Omaha, Nebraska and Kansas City. Oh, really, dude? Oh, dude. Both of them.

Let's see. Covina on September 8th. So that means. Oh, so he's going to do the Laugh Factory thing? I think the Laugh Factory and Covina. Yeah, see September 8th. So he canceled both those. Wait, let's go back.

He's still going to skank fest. Is that yet to, see September 8th. So he canceled both those. Wait, let's go back. He's still going to skank fest. Is that yet to happen? September 8th. Oh, so he has no tickets available for those. Basically is what they're saying. Damn, dude. Skank fest is September 29th. I wish I could go to all of them. Yeah. Liberty Township. Yeah. Sign me up.

Well, they're going to be in Covina, dude. We can go to the. Oh, I've never seen the laugh factory in covina yet i haven't been great place neither um all right so this next one's called boppa admits t-fat k has fallen on hard times posted by all i do is lie to you let's see here and he's like do you know uh have you ever listened to fighter and the kid because i had just started to like bro you ever heard a podcast and uh he's like man my favorite one's the fighter and the kid and we're listening to you guys the whole way back so the fact that we are sitting here right

now is insane that's so awesome and now you guys are bigger and you guys are you guys are with nine what are you saying and now you guys are bigger than us that was funny yeah that's funny. No, we're not. 900 and something episodes, right? Oh, yeah. 900 and something episodes. We're over way over that because that's not counting the days in Brian's garage, the Fox episodes.

I mean, but the fact... Dude, imagine we get to 900 episodes of 10 minutes of shop, dude. I mean, that would be crazy. But we're making you are we want to keep it going so i think this is number 65 right what's that 65 episodes so i'm not really a numbers guy oh my god jesus christ let's see there is oh come on back then like you guys are fucking still still still. Yeah, I know.

And when you came through Nashville. I'm on some hard time. No, keep going. When you came. Oh, my God. Trying to be funny, but also it just comes off sad. Dude, when people say, oh, you're still doing it. It's like, why don't you just stab me?

I don't want to hear that. Still doing it. Blocked episodes. I mean, 900 and something episodes, we're we're i mean 100 and something episodes right what is oh yeah 900 something we're over way over that because that's not counting the days in brian's garage the fox episodes we're we're i mean but the fact that like you guys are fucking still still still doing it oh it. It hurts even me. Yeah. When is somebody going to give us that sit down and be like,

you know, 200 episodes of 10 Minutes of Shake still doing it? Well, we're on the upswing kind of. It's like, be cool, Luke Schwartz. Once it goes down, then one of us can play Boppa and be like, yeah, we'll have on another podcast and be like, now you're bigger than us. Yeah. No one knows. Posted by All I Do Is Lie To You. It's called

Brenda Revisits His Shock In Finding Out Professional Comedy Isn't A Team Sport Like It Was Under Toe's Tiny Wing. Like to me it was and it's like when people hate it on CM Punk, I was like, you wouldn't do it? Like you wouldn't jump to the front of the queue if they're offering you $2 million to fight in the UFC? Like

everyone would hate on CM Punk and I was like, who gives a fuck? Like they're giving the opportunity you wouldn't do it? So of the queue if they're offering you $2 million to fight in the UFC. Like everyone would hate on CM Punk. And I was like, who gives a fuck? Like they're giving the opportunity. You wouldn't do it. So for me, I didn't realize the hate. Do you notice he has two C clamps as opposed to one? So this is a very important issue to him. Okay.

Yeah. That's how he denotes importance. Yes. The amount of C clamps he puts up. Yeah. Before you know it, he's going to have a C clamp and a die clamp for for dicey dicey right i would love that yes match the shirt i'll be here all week folks yeah get from other comics because of some opportunities he gets a lot of hate now sure different but it was just i i didn't expect that because in sports like we support each other like

fuck yeah like when when i knew will had a athletic background needed to i'm like those are my guys like when any when any fighter gets in a podcast i'm like what can i do because podcasting is he helps out a lot of fighters with their podcast he's got a black belt yeah he's like i know you just started but i got a black belt so here's what you do talk Talk about numbers. Yeah. Call people gay. Go to SeaWorld. Go to, yeah, go to SeaWorld before you start anything. Look at the fish. I'm balls deep in fish myself. You can't offer advice.

And like, how could you not expect to be hated on? Yeah. I expect to be hated on and I'm not famous. Yeah. Shob, I was not surprised. Well, I was actually a little surprised when people said I had small teeth and big gums. But and I'm not famous. Yeah, shop. I was not surprised. Well, I was actually a little surprised when people said I had small teeth and big gums, but now I'm not. It

didn't take me long to get over the shock of it. Yeah, you know, I just didn't know that those were things, but I expected to be made fun of right. Didn't you? Well, yeah, I mean every day I make fun of myself. I'm like, you know, as a comic, you hate yourself every day, right? At times, but I don't know if it has anything to do with open

mics or like you're right. I should probably go back to therapy. Yeah, yeah, go back to your three tooth therapist. Let's go. How can I help you? Commie's a little different. It's a little different because it's like he's hitting all the hits. Yeah, Delphine, the key phrases. Yeah. Do you think he's ever hit the, the hits. Yeah. Yeah. Delphine, the key phrases. Yeah.

Do you think he's ever hit a open mic before? Um, that's a good question. I, I think probably, uh, but he probably was like, nah,

because he can just get on. Rogan has deigned him the next thing, so he can do whatever he wants. No, for sure. Fat people are like, fuck that. Yeah, exactly.

All right, let's see. It's like a crab mentality a little bit. Crab? Yeah, it doesn't seem as much. And I didn't expect that. And also like when the pandemic hit and, you know, some of our buddies got cans, stuff like that. I'm like, rally the troops.

Boys, let's rally up. Some people got cans. I don't know what he's talking about. Some of my homies got cans and stuff. Oh, got fired. Canceled. Oh, canceled. Oh don't know what he's talking about. Some of my homie got cans and stuff. Oh, got fired. Canceled. Oh, cancel. Oh, that's what he's talking about? Oh, of course. Some friends are getting cans and stuff.

D'Elia, the diddler? Yeah. Fight against them. Where's everybody? The fuck are we doing? Where's the boys at? Like, no, that's how we work. You can see that's how we operate. It's tough. They don't want to talk about it. The football

guys are like, oh, yeah, okay. Yeah. Interesting. Right. What's the next clip? You guys got canceled, huh? I thought we were going to fight. I didn't realize I was going to go back to that. What happened? Oh, really, dude. All right. So this next one's posted by parrot underscore hyphen underscore hyphen underscore.

It's called Brendan. Job is a wordsmith, and it looks like it's blurred out. I don't know why, though. Let's see. Ready? Say one of the coolest things ever done. Those were thirsty. I was in the Sahara, Nevada, Sierra, Nevada, Savera, Nevada, hanging out with them is kind of like being a tutor.

You have to watch and politely tell him no, no, no. Sierra, Nevada. I will say this dude. I don't know if you want to do this bit right now or not, but I don't know if you're aware of a judge Judy. Yeah, of course. Right. Yeah.

What are your thoughts on Judge Judy? She's pretty entertaining. Yes. Seems fair. But she has a new show. It's called Justice Judy. No way. Yeah.

Or Judy Justice. Dude, Judy Justice. Judy Justice. Okay. And it made me laugh very hard last night because then I started doing things like, oh shit, did she get Benny the bailiff too? Just like a bunch of alliteration. Wow. Sitting it. Sitting it. doing things like oh shit. Did she get Benny the bailiff to just like a bunch of alliteration? Wow,

sitting it, sit in it. Well, she did get plaintive penny for the first case. So what do you okay? But Danny, the defendant came in and really, you know, was able to fight against him. Oh, really arbiter Andy, you didn't really have any our order arbiter arbiter. Yeah, I don't even know what that is. It's just a alliteration with court terms. Okay, did you like it? No, you didn't even try once. I heard it. Yeah, you know, and and it was a special time.

Well, as a jury on the, Justin on the jury, if you like to do, you know what I mean? This is getting like the gringo poppy. Are you going to do 25 minutes of this? I can do 24 minutes. Yeah. Oh, God. All right.

Let's go back. The Sahara is a desert. We're talking about fraternally? Fraternally. Fraternally. Fraternally. Is that what you're saying? Eternity? Another thing on Netflix would be the series Chairs.

The cheerleaders? Chairs. Yeah, with cheerleaders. What I'm saying is. Everyone's hot. Everyone's fair. It's all about the eye of the beauty beholder. I like to use the shots, the pink lemonade shots.

I take one shot and daddy's ready to go. I turn to Elon Musk for about 20 minutes and then it runs out. It's the best. Doesn't he look like shit right there? He does. Yeah, I think, yeah. That's the point they're going for. It's a focused product I've ever used.

Best part, it's all natural. Visit Happy Hippo Herbals. Herbals? You say herbal still, huh? Yep. Still. Like he's been doing it for a while. Like haters, right?

They remain unanimous, stuff like this. Unanimous? Is that wrong? I was thinking anonymous. Oh. They remain unanimous, all the stuff. We unanimously think that's funny that you say it like that.

Dude, everything they eat, bean cheese, bean cheese, bean cheese. You order the alcohol on the list and it was like, you know, Modelo, $18. I'm not going to listen to some rich person tell me how I should vote or how I should handle this situation. It's like, you were born with a spoon in your mouth.

I'm not going to listen. He's born with a spoon in your mouth. All rich people are eating right away. That's true. Yeah. I don't relate to any spoon. I don't relate to any spoon. I don't relate to any spoon. Spoons?

Ever heard of them? Or forks? Ever heard of them? In any facet. You know what I'm saying? But you've walked the walks of sight. So go to onnit.com slash shop. S-E-H-A-B.

You receive 10% off. Damn. Everything. Supplements. You can call this doctor over here. Now we have epidemic. Now we have epidemic. He's so serious.

He's making serious points, but saying the words all wrong. He sounds like a moron. And he doesn't and never sinks in with him. He's never like, maybe I shouldn't speak on this. Maybe I should stick to sports or whatever him and Brian do on the show. Yeah, he should take a trip over to Lenny the Linguist. You know what I mean? He should take a trip over to the bookstore or like a library and read.

Read for a long time. Epidemic. Epidemic. It's not an epidemic, it's an epicd for a long time. Epidemic. Epidemic. It's not an epidemic. It's an epicdemic. It's an epicdemic. No, you're right, though. It was just kind of the escape goat.

Escape goat. It's theater. He's an escape goat. He's an escape goat, dude. Oh, my God. That's hilarious. That was a well- well organized dish there. Great job. It's like a seven course meal.

Yeah. You know when you know those prefix menus prefix. Yeah. Prefix is like everything's picked out and you like get two choices and you go through it like oh like a tasting appetizer lunch or I mean a appetizer main course dessert that kind of thing. Okay. You have

no choice. Well well you get to choose between two things but like both ways you could have it either way for sure b i'll just believe you on that this next one's posted by parrot uh underscore hyphen underscore hyphen underscore hyphen again uh shop lies about 40 yard dash time and gets laughed at by taylor then dodges vertical talk and transitions with awkward question. Here we go. The thing I'm alluding to right now is he did that at a pro day. At a pro day, I've heard numbers can get a little different.

I didn't run at a pro day, so I don't know. What'd you run in such a day? What'd you run in? I ran a 4.85. 4.85. At his size, the combine's 3.10. When you go to the combine, you look down at the pro day because the pro day

you have all the scouts there and a lot of them do it by hand you know what I'll be first to admit my ego has gotten in the way in this conversation already I can totally see

it's like wasting a whole village and going maybe I shouldn't what was your vertical you had a saucy that's a saucy vertical 32

that's very respectful. Yeah, that's fucking nice. Beat my numbers. I was a 4'6 guy. But I'll tell you this on the vertical. My vertical was never 32. It's like when they measure you, you're like, you got to cheat. You got to cheat your shoulder down.

You got to cheat. Now, are you boys playing with the football season coming up? Are you guys playing? Because you were going to. Are you going to do live shows at the games? Are you going to do some of that? Weren't you going to camps, like some of the training camps. To our college tailgate.

Wait, so what was he lying about? I don't know. All I assume is that Brendan saying that he ran a 4.6, whatever that means, is a lie. But what I did get from that clip is that we can start using saucy for things. Yes. If Brendan does a really good joke, he's a saucy comic. I like that. He's got a saucy vertical, I heard.

Yeah. Even though they're not one of our guys, I'm going to take that saucy comic. I like that. He's got a saucy vertical, I heard. Even though they're not one of our guys, I'm going to take that saucy and I'm going to use it just like I use straight talk wireless. That's another great phrase. Who said that? Some guy that was saying that Brendan isn't funny to Theo. He's straight talk wireless. Oh, that guy. He's like, I'm going to be honest

with you. Straight talk wireless. Brendan sucks. He's blockbuster. This next clip is posted by Haphazard. Great guy. He's blockbuster. All right. This next clip is posted by haphazard. Great guy. Never met him. It's called Papa.

Never misses podcast and never cancels stand updates. I just have. Yeah. Nice. Be cool. Yeah. Let's see. Shop is not here.

History in the making. First golden hour with no shop. He is. What's the worst let me tell you what the worst thing i could ever hear at the beginning of a clip is shop is not here do you agree or do you have another thing um as far as golden hour goes just in general probably in any clip that we watch job is not here not here. I don't know. Oh, yeah. I kind of want him there. I don't want to be here either. No, that tops the cake, B.

Yeah. Whatever that saying is. Firing on all cinders. Cinders. Escape goat. Here we go. Did he ever not come for anything? Yeah, one time. Oh, okay.

Was it me, you? No. It was me and Theo, maybe. Yeah, one time. Oh, okay. Was it me, you? No. It was me and Theo, maybe. I don't know. I don't remember. But there was one time he didn't come, right? I thought he never missed a show. Maybe not.

This is unprecedented, right? I don't know. Anyway. Yeah, he had something that he forgot about, like a dingbat. And so we're here. But this is the Patreon. So we're here for the Patreon, and we're here. It's me and Eric Griffin. And look, we're here but this is the patreon uh so we're here for the patreon and we're here it's me and eric griffin and look we're no strangers to the podcast game so come on and

relax and be comfortable dude we both have solo casts just relax it's gonna be fine it's just gonna be like normal okay don't stress out don't be flipping the channel just for just for no reason we're like looking here like is he gonna say something I'm rejected, but I'm just now realizing that Schaub is the star of this show. He's almost, and not just that, he's kind of like the boss. Yeah. Like how Alex Jones is the boss of his thing. So they all kind of have to pitter patter around him. And if he's not there and Shane has to say something like, no, he does every show.

He's always here. Oh, he's great. He's never done anything wrong yeah that's crazy yeah it's an epidemic if he's not there yeah you're absolutely right uh it'd be funny it'd be funny he still interrupts us i get a call hold on a second. Where'd that... Brendan! Oh, man. This is great. I wonder if he'll watch this or not. We could probably talk so much shit about him. He'll never know.

He'll never know. Not the trolls will hear. He'll know. Oh, my God. Do you take... Oh, be cool, Montez. I know. Aiming the waters against the cats.

Dude, something tells me that none of them like the trolls be... But what are the trolls? Because we're the cats, right? We're not trolls. I don't know. Are we trolls? I guess that's not for us to decide. Yeah, write in the comments.

If I told you I was a troll, you would agree. Oh, this clip is dicey dicey, B. We saw this. Haven't seen the clip yet, but we saw that it's him doing stand-up. I miss these, dude. Oh, yeah, dude. These are the best. These are always a special time.

Is this the Covina Laugh Factory? Maybe. Maybe? I think you might have got it. Got the best brains, B. Yeah. This one's posted by Parrot again, dude. It's called Brendan Schaub, Uncomfortable Crowd Work.

I don't know why there's parentheses there. There we go. Let's see here. Looks like his son. What are you, a fucking model? You're distracting, dude. What are you, a model? What are you, the next Captain america what's happening right now are you the voice of the new buzz

lightyear we've seen this before dude yeah is this the same one or is he just doing it again oh no no no this is not the same one so he's just a separate he's found a separate hot dude and he's uncomfortably hitting on him yeah yeah what a what a master of the arts yes you know just to be able to say something as funny as like a guy is really hot yeah when you're not gay that's so something only a thousand i mean honestly i thought you're gonna say it's brave oh no no there's nothing brave about it no it's a part of this thing from brave but it is brilliant yes yeah original and clever let's see sir you are breathtaking jesus christ even the cadence of someone else yeah contain this erection but these fucking

tight pants are giving it away when you're not funny it's easy to go too far because you don't know what you're saying you're just copying other people. You can't realize what you're doing wrong because you don't have like the brain power to do it. So it's like you get off stage and then you don't know whether you did bad or good. So somebody comes up to you, talks to you and they're like, hey man, they can't really make eye contact with you for too long because you just said that you got an erection staring at another guy. And oh man, yeah, the crowd, they're pretty good huh oh yeah you did great no one will confront him and be like you have to stop doing that i'm gonna do that for you brendan stop i said it before i hope you listen this time no more of this this is the worst thing that you do maybe the racism is

worse but this is second at least. I don't know. What do you think? I think you should stop. First of all, if you get an erection on stage, just don't talk about it, dude.

Just be like, like honestly, maybe have the erection power you forward into some other material. You know what I mean? Dude, I got a boner. It's not because that guy's hot because I'm not like I'm not. That's what he does. After you have a pep talk with him, he says like everything's not happening because guy's hot because i'm not like i'm not that's what he does after you have

a pep talk with him he says like everything's not happening because of this yeah this guy may be hot as fuck but i'm not horny i just need you to know i'm literally i'm not attracted to that guy he's hot but i like chicks you don't know this i mean i look i like baddies and addies and addies lean into it brendan what are you drinking yeah what is that oh that looks like a nice little glass though maybe some tiger thick yeah some tiger thick and a little wine glass oh dude if we get at least like two more patrons today i'll buy some tiger uh tiger thick glasses dude i want i've been seeing i watched the gringo poppy right today and i don't think it was even like a tiger thick glass but but I'm like, dude, we should be, we should be drinking out

of that bee. I mean, if we get more patron says we'll get more of this. I know you guys love this. Thank you for the comments. We're going to get way more of this stuff and for audio only on Spotify. He's pointing at the mats. Yeah, which I haven't uploaded in three episodes. We'll do that soon.

All right, here goes. Yeah, should all get a good look at this gentleman i don't know what you do man the sky is the limit by bad i mean the next top gun fuck sakes dude how much it says dime piece oh my god this is awful who edited the captions for even the guy with dude even the guy editing the captions is complicit here. Yeah, he's doing it wrong. Yeah, yeah, he should be like, why don't we just do another that be fucking sick and then sick is huge. No one is like you guys are redacts. Don't do that. It makes it so much worse than it's already really bad, but then sick is like half the screen.

Anyone who's not completely redacted watches as it goes. No, no. Oh my God, dude. It's so it's infuriating because what part of his audience is watching this like dude, this is why I love this guy. He talks about hot dudes in the front row. Other people with brain damage or you know, lack of school or common sense,

but I will say, you know how like maybe you'll see like, you know, they're making the joker to right now with walking Phoenix. You'll see like set photos and stuff and you'll be like, oh, you kind of get amped for it, right? This is making me really excited for his next special dude. You know what I mean? Okay, one devil's advocate. There are people that just don't know comedy at all. Maybe like they never watch it because they're busy being normal human beings doing their job and stuff. And maybe they've never ever heard someone do this bit where it's like, oh, you're actually really hot. Maybe that's funny for them the first time. I don't know.

But this is just so bad. Well, either way, dude, devil's advocate or not, it sucks. Yeah, you're right. I don't know why I said that. But did you hear what I said? What? That I'm excited for the next fucking special. Like this is like a little sneak peek into what we're getting to cooking up. I mean

you're right. Yeah, I'm sorry. I missed that. No, that's a good point. It could this could be gringo poppy three territory to to dude. Let's be realistic. Oh yeah, why do I say three for to me? The gringo poppy is two specials. I'm just fucking okay, dude. It's like I'm not even game at all. Oh my god. specials. I'm not even gay, but fuck. Oh my god. He has to say that. How many fucking times has he said that in his life, dude? I'm not even gay,

dude. Oh, then it's even more funny. Yeah. No, it's not. Nope. It's actually less funny. You know what makes things more funny, dude? Fucking good mats that are soundproofing. You know what makes things more funny, dude? Fucking good mats that are soundproofing. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Let's see. A few drinks and it's going down, homeboy. A few drinks going down, Maverick. You know what I'm saying, dude? So he's saying that if he gets too drunk, he's going to fuck that guy? Yeah. Interesting.

Hey, Brendan, keep up, dude. He'll light you up, dude. Interesting. Hey, hey, Brendan, keep up, dude. He'll light you up, B. You're a bottom gun. You feel me? Bottom gun. Bottom gun. Oh, my God. So pre-written gay jokes.

Dude, that's another Mexican cookie. That's like a white person's Mexican cookie. Bottom gun, dude. Yeah, that's bad. Dude, I didn't think he could do more Gringo Poppy stuff, bro. That's awesome. Dude, I didn't think he could do more Gringo Poppy stuff, bro. That's awesome. This is awesome. He was in the writing room and someone pitched bottom gun.

Yeah. Which is like, I'm sure other people have said that. But it's so bad. You know what Brendan Chops said when they said that? He's like, not gay enough. But then he had it in the back of his mind when he was on stage. He just stole it so he didn't have to pay for it. Yeah.

Let's see. Where was I? it so you didn't have to pay for it yeah let's see where was i oh you're distracting dude oh my god you're like a hot medusa get out of here bro get your dick out of my face dude medusa would turn you to stone though yeah well i mean that's probably what he's trying to say is that he's hard as a stone right now he's hard yeah he's look you've seen him already so yeah you'd be stone yeah right i mean i think you'd be surprised dude you know maybe i'm surprised i can't believe i'm surprised by this this is we've made we've talked about how bad this is and he's doing it to another level right now. Yeah. Jesus Christ, man. You try to kill.

I'm just going to hold this here. So watch out again. You're one lucky lady. Do not leave your man around me, bro. He's gay, dude. It's I mean, if you do this, like to me, that's like gay. Yeah. Yeah.

Like not even in a it's not bad. It's no it's like i'm pretty sure he's like we just watch it you'd be surprised on the patreon right but i don't think he's gay though i think he thinks this is funny like i was saying we just watch you'd be surprised on the patreon yeah dude he is probably gay dude like after watching you'd be surprised i'm like oh people say it like on changs or whatever we're watching this now and it's like solidifying in my mind that he's gay. He feels comfortable doing that bisexual. I think oh you're right, i'm yeah, i don't know i've thought about it for a minute now yeah, because he's into both. I forgot there's two different kind. I thought there was lgbtq, so i forgot the b is different

than the g. I guarantee you he doesn't know that. Yeah. But yeah, no, I mean, if you talk about it this much, you talk about how guys are hot and you fuck your friends at some point, it's got to be your heart is a rock. You know what I mean? Like boner alert.

They get excited about that. You know, they're talking about how like guests they want to have on the podcast. They'll fuck the shit out of them and stuff, you know? Yeah, that's true. I know, they're talking about how like guests they want to have on the podcast. They'll fuck the shit out of them and stuff, you know? Yeah, that's true. I forgot it. They would say like guys that like football players they want on because

they're hot. All right, let's keep going. This is a long clip is making me happy. Be right now. You live in the green room. That's going down. Jesus Christ.

I'm a black belt karate. He's going to. I don't know if that means anything. Force him to have sex with him? Is that the. This is the diciest of material right here. He just goes be okay. Be cool.

Right. Do you think Bud Light's going to come in on this? Is there going to be a Bud Light riff? Best brains, bro. And if it doesn't, though, that's a good. I mean, we might not. Yeah. Let's see. I like the life, my man.

Are you an actor? Are you a model? Dude, I'm going to call Tommy Hill and figure out when we leave here. Hold on. Sorry to pause it again. But so, do you think, because if he is actually bisexual, it's secret. Do you think the pink hat is kind of...

I mean, I think pink is a fine color to wear. It doesn't matter. But do you think it's like a signal? No, I think it's more of a fashion choice. I don't think even him... I don't think it's a conscious choice that he's bisexual. You know what I mean? I just think that he's not fully comfortable with his own sexuality.

So he does these things to find some sort of semblance of comfort. You know what I mean? Right. He gets to live out his fantasy without actually experiencing it. Yeah. Like it being too scary for him. But I'm here to tell him, dude, like stop doing this on stage. Do it in real life, dude.

You know what I mean? Like that's probably why not try it out. Maybe your comedy will get better too. I mean, shop talking about actual gay experiences may be really funny. Yeah. You know what I mean? Probably not because he's not good at stand-up and he'll just make anything bad. But, you know, it could be

funny. He would just be like the most stereotypically awful gay comic ever. But we'd have to see it to know. Let's see. You know who could use his Abercrombie? I don't know if you saw that documentary. I need some help. It's all to get into like another Netflix viewing thing.

All his stand-up specials are like things that his wife has had him watch with her. Dude, the writer's strike is going to severely affect his stand-up. Yeah, what's he going to do? He's going to have to try and read a book for the first time. They're not putting content out. Brendan is shitting bricks, bro. What's he going to do? He's going to have to try and read a book for the first time. They're not putting content out. Brendan is shitting bricks, bro. He's like, what? You know?

He starts watching us. There's these guys that, bro. I mean, there's been so many movies. What were you going to say? If he starts doing bits about us and it's in the special? That would be awesome. Oh, my God. Please, Brendan.

We're begging you, dude. But we don't matter. We don't count. There's so many movies from the 90s and 80s he can go to. There's a lot of he can riff on that he hasn't seen. Let's see here. Maybe even SeaWorld. They are the all-time low, man.

That Blackfish Doc really fucked them. Jeez. Fuck Shamu. What's your name? Okay, really quick. I'm looking forward to the answer to what's your name? Okay, really quick. I'm looking forward to the answer to what's your name, but bro, I want you to, can you close your eyes real quick? So put your thinking cap on and dude, you're at a Brennan shop show, right?

Dude, you're sitting there. He's talking about how big somebody's dick is, whatever, right? Right. And then he brings up black rock, black fish. What do you do? Just cheer violently. I would be like so amped.'d be like here we go strap the fucking you know dude that's like going to amc and seeing nicole kidman you know what's gonna happen you know oh yeah right right right the new nicole kidman thing whenever they make it is going to be like the next ring of poppy yeah let's see here. Garrett? Fuck yeah.

Is he hot? Is he hot? I'm just going to put you in a bathing suit. Come see Garrett jump in the water. Why did they just show a kid? I don't know. That was weird. That was weird.

You're just fucking splashing around. Short shorts. Your girl's all mad. Like, fuck whatever. Tossing fish in the water and you don't eat them just just chum in the water i don't know i have no idea what he's talking about now dude me and brendan chobb have the same ism when it comes to comedy what where we make sense to ourselves sometimes but not so much for the audience dude well there you go you watch this and then you just never do that no i do it i do it and i love it too you like it but not the yeah it's fun and then we try to make

make sense of it it starts to kind of make sense and then people are laughing like kind of like nervously not not like yeah this is nervous laughter for sure yeah yeah they're like oh man damn i relate to this is it gonna get worse yeah this? The only thing worse than this is Ethan Klein, dude. You know what I mean? There he goes. Let's see here. Why isn't it going? My big ass just cannonballs in and tucking. That's my man.

Oosh. Just gets gay. Oosh. Just gets gay. Gay. Dude, gay SeaWorld, dude. I don't know. Let's see if he gets into it yeah he no he that's i know he said it but is he gonna elaborate sorry man you're so distracted no no of course no i knew it that was the punchline dude that was that's crazy that that's it gay sea world is the punchline so dumb

i mean it wouldn't have been great if he'd gotten into it, but just in and of itself makes it more redacted. It's just upsetting now. Redact. Dude, we could have done a whole 10 minutes of Jean Val on just this clip. Yeah, I know. This is going to be a long riff on whatever he's trying to do here.

The first ever having a crowd after seven years, I might have to escort you out of here. You might have to fucking leave, dude. I can't focus, man. Do you like Ferraris? Oh, dude, I was just going to say right now. He's like way more articulate on stage. Did you notice that?

No. Like he's not fucking up. We're not noticing how he's fucking up words on stage. Maybe he's on the rogue. Got some rogue in there. Maybe there's no Kratom allowed at the Laugh Factory. Yeah, they're like they Krat tested them they have one where was i oh yeah talk about handsome people the shop household we can't go through in our lockdown right now i'm not gonna make it out of it we'll be locked down

dude i'm just saying if you want to lock down, I'm... Nobody's laughing anymore. They're just like watching this awkwardly. He posted this himself, which is wild. This is a long clip to post yourself. Yeah. I'm going to DM you, dude. I'm like, hey, man, I'm thinking about locking us down.

What do you think, bro? We had a fucking Xbox Live, a bunch of snacks. What do you eat? Probably not much, right? I eat sugar. You eat the sugar or no? This is the second time he's done this crowd work bit. Yeah, and also it's like an extension of the Gringo Poppy.

Like, I hang out with my friends. We bang each other. Now he's trying to hang out this guy and bang him. I mean it did really well on gringo pop. He's just doing it again. Yeah, greatest a child snack. If you're

into gushes, we're fucking dude. That's right punchline. I know, but I'm more concerned with the children. The fact that he's eating gushers in the forties the gushers are great. You tell me like the ruse. We're getting married. I'm gonna get high blood pressure and diabetes, so I will lick your asshole to that. Whoa, whoa,

oh really do that's a lot crazy way to end it to yes. Then why are they laughing? I don't know these people have never had Yeah, that's a lot. Crazy way to end it too. Yeah, that's the end. Why are they laughing? I don't know. These people have never had fun in their lives. They've never seen comedy before, and this is the first time. Yeah, let's just say it's like a four drink minimum apparently. Yeah, they must be housed.

Or maybe they're all cats, and they're just like can't believe that he's saying this. Oh, you're right. It's possible. Where do you think the most cats are per capita in the nation? No idea. Maybe Texas. Good breast brains be. All right, let's go to the next clip.

That was a long one. This one's posted by block bus, a block bus, a buffet. My mouth, dude. I said no idea. And then maybe Texas so fast, a little bit of shabbish. This one's called posted by block bus, up buffet. It's called always been a bully bee. Let's see here. What's he put in there? Day seven got caught jacking off.

Not a bad meathead joke there. Yeah, see this when we liked him. Yeah, I'm so embarrassed. It keeps getting work. It's all black. I said nothing. Seven. It can't get much worse. I got caught whacking off. Okay, he repeats it. Yeah, yeah, that's the beginning of shop. He's a little socially awkward. I think and socially I'll be here. Oh, let's be honest. He's gonna get thrown through a glass door. Of course, they're bullying each other. And at night they fuck each other, right?

He's locked down with the bros, dude. Oh, yeah. What's next? They cut out some scenes of that. That'd be funny if somebody mashes it up like ultimate fighter with that joke being like and at night fuck each other. Oh, and there you go. There's some catnip.

Yeah. All right. So this one's posted by all I do is lie to you. It's called the show's new overlords have made them stop using expletives for the whole show. Papa struggles, especially with his favorite subject. Come on, Bracooni. Hit the people with what you think their favorite subject is, dude.

Gay, gay dudes. Yeah hit the people with what you think their favorite subject is, dude. Gay, gay dudes. Yeah, it's between what gay dudes and black fish, but like fish in general, cancel culture. Okay, numbers,

numbers. You're right. Marketing. Let's see. Welcome to the no cuss zone. No cussing. If you guys are tuning in for cussing, then you better turn the channel.

It's not what we do. We are crystal clean on this platform. You're so weak, dude. You're like Howard Stern. No, no, no. We used to be wild, man. Now we got a sentence to stop cussing. You're still giving them these cheers.

Did he say cuck? I don't know. They put up the sign, though. Like, Chobb is the CEO of this. He makes the rules. I think in reference to the sign though. Yeah. Like job is the CEO of this. He can, he makes the rules. I think in reference to the overlords is YouTube. I know, but he's like,

now look at us. Look at what, look at where we are. You did that. You could keep cussing. Yeah. Nothing is stopping you from doing that. Nobody's going to be monetized or whatever.

Now they're just going to talk about it and draw the audience's attention to this thing. That's blog boss. I don't know. You know, just your politics and stuff. They're just going to talk about it and draw the audience's attention to this thing that's blog busting. Why? I don't know, man. Why am I? You know, it's just your politics and stuff. Why?

I didn't see that. How do you feel that your co-host now is Alex Jones? Boy, have the tides turned. Crowder now is Jones and you. They're bleeping out Alex Jones. That's so weird. You big old man. Hey, don't use that word either.

Man, we're going to get flagged, bro. There's so many. You can't even mention AJ's name. Can you do an Alex Jones impersonation? I have the world's biggest micro penis. Can you say Gringo Poppy is turning the frogs gay? The Gringo Poppy is turning the frogs gay. Is that good? That's pretty good. Oh, okay. I would would try it but my throat hurts a little bit try it dude gringo

poppy's turning the frogs gay oh yours is a little more aggressive yeah i'm not he's a huggable guy dude he's nice yeah alex drones yeah great guy never met him let's see you like alex jones but not even i love alex jones even klein even klein fucking alex jones built the ground we walk on You like Alex Jones, but not Ethan Klein. I love Alex Jones. Ethan Klein fucking... Alex Jones built the ground we walk on. Ethan Klein is just a loser. Let's see. That's going to flag us too. Just such a relief.

You can suck up now. Right? Listen. Let's get this banned. Stop cussing? Is that cussing? Or are those facts? Dim the rules.

Dim the rules okay can you not dim the rules metaphor can you say suck pipe can you say suck he likes a persian cucumber salad oh no i don't know he's into persian cucumber he's into bratwurst there you go yeah likes a little bratwurst eats a lot of bratwurst there you go yeah it's not fun is it well it's nothing like the cock oh it, it's fun. You know what I mean? They're taking all our fun away. I know, dude. But with Obama, I think he was like...

He's trying to get edgy. Shav is trying to go edgy now. Interest in move. He's playing 4D chess. He's like, we're not getting watched. I'm going to go like the other route, dude. Yeah. You got to watch me for what...

You don't know what I'm going to say. Oh, we do. We know very well what you're going to say. We predict what you're going to go like the other route, dude. Yeah. You got to watch me for what you don't know what I'm going to say. Oh, we do. We know very well what you're going to say. We predict what you're going to say. You haven't surprised us ever. The only time you surprise us is when you say something so redacted that we're in a state of shock. Good morning, Vietnam. Name the movie.

That surprises me. Get out that I'm like dudes because i'm not gonna be able to run for president think about he doesn't like human smoke weed or drink it's because he want to be president he's talking about obama oh yeah let alone sucking uh well can i say that like that i think that's isn't it true that uh they found like a gay letters from Obama? Yeah, I don't know. There was some Twitter article that said that he wrote something about that. And don't blame me for calling it gay letters because that's how the headline read on Google.

Yeah, it was like a New York Post thing, which Brennan, I guess someone read it to him. I think I like that more, actually. Is there a code for that? Chipmunk? No, he's catching nuts. Squirreling up? Swung boom.

Squirrel. Hey, come on, man. Come on, man. Come on. Please look at the sign. Please look at the sign, bro. He swung. Come on, dude.

Look at the sign, bro. Barry? Don't get his flag, bro. The old Barry Big Gulp, as we call him. Dude, I need the money, man. Big Gulp Barry? Don't get his flag, bro. The old Barry Big Gulp, as we call him. Dude, I need the money, man. Big Gulp Barry? So like, but beyond the fact that the bits aren't cleverly written, what's the difference really?

Obama maybe said in a letter that he's thinking about having sex with men all the time or whatever the quote is. Brennan, we just watched him literally say that to a man. Obama said it to his ex-girlfriend. Yeah. Sch him literally say that to a man. Yeah. Obama said it to his ex-girlfriend. Yeah. Schaub said it to another man. Yeah. I mean, which one?

Not that it matters. Kind of says Schaub. Yeah. None of this matters, but one is a little bit more than the other, I would say. Right? Both. We're just curious little cats, B. Yeah.

That's it. This one's posted by All I do is lie to you. It's called a Will Smith and B shop story. Let's see what this is about. I got to say, what do you think of the new set, dude? Oh, I am so redacted. I didn't even notice that this was my God. Why would you say that publicly?

Listen, they need to know I'm redacted. Okay, listen, I did this. Well, what do, answer the question. What do you think of the new set? What do I think? I mean, I guess it looks more modern, but I think I like the other one better. This is like the idea meaning that they're going to have

maybe more guest-driven. My guess is that because the ratings have been falling off, they're trying to revamp and be like, we'll try something new, have on successful podcasts. Like whichever one this one is, the football guys, have them on, see if we get more views. We know celebrities. Let's try that.

And dude, you know that they're going to have zany stories about changing the set. You know what I mean? Like we were putting the brick in here and then a fucking owl came out of nowhere. Yeah, check out the patron. If you want to know more about

that was public, the right, right, right, but yeah, patreon to we go even further into that specific time money man. What the fuck was that? You know what? That party took all our phones. It was an Oscar party and everyone was in tuxedos. So there's no cell phones.

I've been to those parties. And Will Smith asked me if I did private training. He did? Will Smith was like, hey, man, you talk a little bit, you private train. Will Smith, great reference there. The guy that slapped Chris Rock. Yeah. Private training with Brendan Schaub.

And honestly, that's maybe one of the more believable lies. Because Will Smith is slapped Chris Rock. Yeah. Private training with Brendan Schaub. And honestly, that's maybe one of the more believable lies because Will Smith is kind of crazy. Yeah. But you believe it? No. No. Okay, cool. I was like I don't know if you believe it. No, but I mean, Will Smith is a little bit blockbuster right now. I think. Yeah.

Let's see. Oh, he slapped. Oh boy. I didn't train. You're the reason why Chris Rock. No, I didn't train with him. I didn't take him up on it. I get different. That's a great observation by Mr. Red Hat. Just a setup.

The show is just a bunch of weird setups for like riffs from a month ago, months ago, years ago, years ago. Yeah. What's the matter? I'm on Australia time, so you can just shut up.

What did you say to him? No. Want me to hold mitts for you? You didn't say no. I promised you. I was like, well, at the time, I was a current UFC fighter. I'm like, oh, I don't hold mitts, dog. If you want to put me in fucking whatever the fucking I Am Legend 3,

I'm in, but I don't hold mitts, daddy. You get there and you just got a mitts. He just did what I did earlier. Yeah. The third instead of the second. Dude, there. He just did what I did earlier. Yeah. The third. And so this is like, listen, I'm Australia time. Me and shot. We're on the same wavelength.

Okay. Yeah. We just go a little bit farther. We see things different. You see a few women in the crowd. I see a lot of ladies tonight. Okay. Mr.

Whole Foods. Dip in your nachos in your nachos. Oh, my God. oh my god he's got a latex mask on you oh fuck i didn't plan on this you're gonna be a zombie can you go that's the vibe i got yeah oh my gosh yeah man yeah shop is basically like what's like three levels above a zombie is that fucked up or no yeah i don't know it's very dumb is that what you mean yeah yeah yeah okay be cool dude i didn't say that but yeah all right so let's go to the next clip here dude oh gosh so many tabs this one's called no cosmetic procedures for bapa posted by all i do is lie to you talking about lip injections b you've never done that you did it once right no

botox i don't know the fuck would i do it for it's like it's you know no if anything i need i don't need to add more to my face they take away filler in your lips and so i wish dude i wish i if i could i wish they could just somebody tell me that they they're like brennan this gets his lips done and i was like what and they go you know he gets his lips done. I go, got these from my daddy. Who we don't even know. Yeah. Is the dad Latino? We want to know. He doesn't get his lips done.

Where would you get your lip? He said, you got your eyebrows and your lips done. I go, no, he doesn't. That's a compliment. I know. Yeah. I was like, he doesn't get his lips done. He's just.

I'll have a straggler. My girl will take it off every now and then. But now I woke up like this, bitch. CKL. Dim the rules. Dim up like this bitch. CKL. Dim the rules. Dim the rules. You got CKLs. Are you looking forward to the fights this weekend?

Bro, when did he hear? Dim the rules. Turn the rules down. Yeah, dim the rules. Just turn the rules down a little bit, okay? Dim it. What a dummy. Whoever told them the rules to him first must feel really bad now.

Yeah, they're like, every time I see it, they're like, oh man, I did that. Yeah. Also, I mean, that whole thing that he does where he says it's actually a compliment. Yeah. He does that all the time. He did that Chris Rock stand up or whatever. It's not a compliment. No,

you should. It's constructed. Well, it's criticism or it's just mean actually. Well, it's not a compliment when people are saying that with pictures of you having dots on your fucking lips that look a lot like lip injections yeah fair to say most things aren't going to be a compliment if it's been on chains too but then again we fell for the fucking bit in fish you know oh yeah that was great yeah i still i want to believe it's true even though we've been told it's not i think he bit the fish. Well, maybe he was hungry, B.

Exactly. This one's posted by Blockbuster Buffet. Again, it's called, Brapa tells off Brian Callen in front of Alex Jones. Can't wait to hear this anecdote. Oh, dude, I fucked up at the dinner. I was quiet, just listening to Brian get obliterated. And I was like, I need to get into this thing.

Wow, dude. Obliterated, bro. Like really drunk or just like make fun of. You're right. He might not mean what we heard. He could be like getting like shit on, like disagreed with. Like I was, I was actually proud of him. Dude, obliterated.

He said it. Oh, he said the word. Yeah. He said it like an English teacher. We have to. Yeah. Yeah. Good job.

Give credit where credit's due. Let's hear it one more time for me. Little shabby. So I'm Brian get get obliterated i didn't get into this thing i was like dude uh desantis i heard he has funding from george soros and i was like what'd you say like what why would you just what'd you say and then it was like i'm like wait wait he's a cut oh my god actually shop did pretty good in that. Yeah. Like the Alex Jones impersonation was better than what I did.

Yeah. So that was a clip where I nail it. Yeah. I have the world's smallest Michael penis or something like that. Nice. Joy. Oh yeah. He is Alex Jones.

Joey Jones. Jones Diaz. All right. This one's posted by light you up. B it's called diddler. Very weird title just one word Let's see Like that from the girl who played Wednesday

Yes Jenny Ortega Great series am I right The fact that it got nominated for 13 Emmys It's so good Did you see it He has to pretend not to like it. He knows what it is.

I kid. Oh, really, dude? You didn't see it? It's a minute 46. That's so funny. It's a long clip of creepiness. Let's see. Like shows about...

Movies about lambs that turn into devils or whatever. You don't get a vote. No, you don't get a vote. No, no, whatever. You don't get a vote. No, you don't get a vote. No, no, no. You don't get a vote. He shouldn't vote. He should pretend like he's never seen it or heard of it. You're right.

He should vote. He should be a felon, dude. Yeah. He can't watch shows in prison. Never heard of it? Oh, man. See, you bitched out. It was good.

No, you don't believe it. That's fucking fantastic. Breaking Bad's big, but Tulsa King ain't shit compared to Wednesday. You know how big Wednesday is? Because it's Jenny Ortega, dude. What? Those both names, B. Dicey, Dicey.

That's her name, right? Yeah. Because of Adam's face. She was fantastic in it. So good. Bro, you. Man, let me just. It was fantastic.

Let me set something straight for you, dude. You can't be. You're doing legs, daddy. Yeah, I am, dude. let me just. It was fantastic. Let me set something straight for you, dude. You can't be. You're doing legs, daddy. Yeah, I am, dude. Sorry. Dude. Oh, he doesn't mind Chop touching them every now and again now. Well, they're all black belts in there, so they can defend themselves.

Oh, yeah. The podcast comes first. You're right, B. Jesus Christ. Oh, my God. Jenny. I feel like you could. Oh, no.

Ellie eyeballs. Hey. Oh, I forgot. That's... Oh, no. LA eyeballs. Hey. Oh, I forgot. That's how he knows her. This might get gadooshed for sure. Oh, well, he was in you with her. Yeah. Okay, I take all I said back.

But to see the un-gadooshed version, join the Patreon. I'll call you in over. Wait, dude, I came all this way. I can show you my short. It's still in progress, but... Listen, we're friends, and it's cool. You use a good show Yeah And you said for weeks you would watch my short. All right, fine. But you have to promise me you're not going to tell anybody that you were here alone with me, okay? Because it's kind of...

I get it. I'm involved. Scout's on her. This is his clever trick to make her feel safe like she chose. Oh, God. Oh, no. Well, that clip might have got reduced at the end but it was just shot from

you you can just the phrase dicey dicey just think of that yeah dicey little section there dude what's your thoughts on that thoughts on what the clip well done dicey topic good little dish there right yeah funny

all right so this one's posted by Khabib Time. It's called Vince McMahon discovers the menu at Gringo Poppy's. Let's see. Wiggles and chills. Corn and side. You got a girl. With chili. Bean cheese, bean cheese, bean cheese, bean cheese. damn dude that kind of made me want to go to salsa and beer yeah ever heard of it ever heard

of it oh dude i gotta say that uh i never was a wrestling were you into wrestling growing up when i was a kid yeah okay i was never into wrestling but there is this one clip i saw on instagram about this one guy that would never fight but just offer girls to the other wrestlers and they would just bow out of the fights. I don't know who this is, but it was hilarious. Okay. Yeah. I don't remember that guy.

It sounds like a great guy. I never met him. Never met him personally, but let's talk about this guy. Gazelle firm 8510. He posted. What about the baddies though? Oh, this is my favorite topic, dude. Let's see.

A cup of coffee a day. Did you have any withdrawals from the Addies, though? Uh-oh, this is my favorite topic, dude. Let's see. A cup of coffee a day. Did you have any withdrawals from the Adderall addiction? No, I'm not a pussy. I don't even know. I'm speechless. I have nothing for that. That is crazy. Good morning, Vietnam.

Yeah, you haven't had withdrawal because you haven't stopped. Yeah. That's an easy way to not have withdrawal. Just keep doing it. Absolutely, I did. My brain was so messed up. Oh, dude. Nightmare.

Nightmare. Is that the reason, though? I can't believe I got through that. Yeah. Speaking of Russian pipeline. It was hard, huh? Yeah, the hardest. Really? Yeah, it was tricky. Swe of Russian pipeline. It was hard, huh? Yeah, the hardest. Really? Sweats at night. Foggy brain during the day.

Wiener still worked, though. Daddy decided to eat a bunch of... Wiener still worked. Yeah, I bet it did with all the dig juice you're taking. Do you think he ever accidentally hits up Mark still without realizing they don't talk anymore? No, he's probably got a new Mark. Mark dig Jews. If he texts him by accident,

that would be a big mistake, but he's capable of it. I guess. And I think about it. All right, let's go to the next clip. This one's posted by all I do is lie to you. It's called a convo about power slap league leads to discussing Bapa status

with Dana white. Ooh, what I wouldn't pay to fucking watch Brendan Chobb slap somebody, right? I do. I will go back to that and I will say you should see it live. It is a wild it's a wild thing. Why haven't you seen it live? I see what you guys are doing here and I like it.

I like it. No, I would go. I'm not going to get the invite. I'm not allowed in the building. You and Dana are you guys? We're fine. I give more compliments than anything oh really dude to me it just if you're a fighter you should know that dana white is the president of the ufc doesn't give a flying fuck about your health and for dana like that's your boss man he's sanctioning he's the face of it he's the one that brought this to the table

a man who's going to do that, you think he gives a fuck about your well-being when you retire from the UFC? This guy's trying to squeeze every dime he can. I'm a human. Well, here's what I'm going to say about this. Yeah. I know we don't matter,

but it makes me feel good that Shaw says him and Dana are cool after saying all this stuff because maybe after all the stuff we've done, he could be cool with us. Oh dude, your best brains be, but you know what though? We're not fucking hundred millionaires, right? Yeah, I mean, there's no, yeah, there's no draw for us. Yeah, we're billionaires. Thanks to all the patrons. Yeah,

that's right. I mean, look at the the math speak for themselves, folks. Okay, and we got any power drill to, I mean, we at the the mad speak for themselves, folks. Okay, and we got any power drill to I mean, we're gonna be slinging a dick with this. Yeah, dude, better watch out, dude. I mean, let's see the cock fighting. Oh, what does this

say? You put on a pair of designer jeans and some hip sneakers and think you're cool. You still a dork with a frat bro vocabulary. Okay, that's boom. You're not. Oh my God. I thought there was an N word. You're a a dork with a frat bro vocabulary. Okay, that's... You're not... Oh, my God. I thought there was an N-word. You're a low-budget Vince McMahon.

Oh, my gosh. Dude. Dana cried late that night. Let's see. Need I remind you, your origin story is a failed cardio kickbox instructor who had two rich friends in high school to fund his business. I mean, these are serious insults, dude.

So I think we're good. Oh, yeah. No, I mean, also, too these are serious insults, dude. So I think we're good. Oh, yeah. No, I mean, also, too, we buy your merch, dude. Yeah, well, we don't, but Brandon does. It gets to us. How about that? Yeah, that's true. I mean, because of us, merch is bought.

Yeah. I mean, there's some sales that wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for our love of you and your stand-up, right? Exactly. There we go. Yeah. Fine. He might have an issue. I feel like with day nets, you're fine, or you're great,-up. Right? Exactly. There we go. He might have an issue.

I feel like with Day Nets, you're fine. You're great or you're not. I have no issues with him whatsoever. If he called me and was like, hey, can you cover this? I'd be like, whatever you want. But then again, you cut to him and Ariel Hawane. You know what I mean? Where he's like, Ariel is the best in the game.

But apparently talking shit about him at every fucking turn he gets. You know what I mean yeah where he's like ariel is best in the game but apparently talking shit about him at every fucking turn he gets yeah you know what i mean both ways can never trust classic both ways situation which you know what too dude he's probably not gay then because he's joking you're right he's never serious you know yeah he's never telling the truth dude he's not unlike the joker yeah like would you yeah i have no issue with it and you would go and you feel that He's never telling the truth, dude. He's not unlike the Joker. Yeah. Would you? Yeah. I have no issue with it.

And you would go and you'd feel that. He'd be like, yo, this shit is kind of entertaining. Yeah, maybe. I quit knocking. When it first came out, me and the boys, the group chat was lit. That makes sense. And he goes, that makes more sense. Yes. That makes more sense. He gets the sense he gets the cover on it's so funny

oh what do you think about that clip dude i mean i said it yeah yeah okay uh all right this one's posted by haphazard again it's called the origin of chin we had the the the stream labs is being dicey today so i had to go to a different page let's see thank you for your work ethnic right right name your kid anniversary or like yeah yeah you're not right what about chin chin yeah just consider if it's an asian boy name him chin yeah but this is but isn't like yeah do they is there are What are the modern Asian names? By the way, Chin, I made that damn name up. My name is Jin, but my friends...

You could have picked anything. What? Don't act like you went from Jin to Chin. It was the dumbest decision I know. You unimaginative motherfucker. Yeah, my new name's gonna be Derek. He's just mispronouncing his real name. Also, that's not any less Asian.

I know, I know, I know. But it's cooler. Gin is cooler than chin, right? Yeah, gin is cool. Yeah, I messed up. Yeah, I mean, chin's not cool, but gin is cool. It's a facial feature. It's like whatever.

That's hilarious. Gin? Yeah. Wow. So's like whatever. That's hilarious. Wow. Did you know that? You didn't know that? I knew it wasn't his real name. I didn't know it was gin. Oh, that's funny. I'm not Asian, obviously, and I can't really know what he's thinking, but I think the worst podcast

to be on if you're an Asian producer is probably The Golden Age. You're just never going to get the respect you deserve. Anytime you talk about anything you're going to get like weird Asian jokes and like people are going to make fun of your name

and get it wrong all the time and choke you out. That's just not the place for a smart young... What ethnicity is he? Smart young Asian man. I'll go with that because I don't know. I think he said he was Korean at one point. So for a smart young Korean man,

not the best producer position to have. Brendan Chow's walking in and calling you Jamal every other day. You know what I mean? Worst job your life. Worst job your life. All right, this one's posted by Haphazard. It's called,

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www.1800gambler.net buy our seven days after issuance eligibility and deposit restrictions apply terms at sportsbook. dot draftkings.com slash mma terms uh do you want to start off they put that at the end i get it you know because i hope we never want or need money that bad that we have to do yeah that kind of stuff because like sometimes i got a big headache while i'm recording it or like i'm tired from prepping and doing other things for hours you know so these guys have like seven shows yeah i understand but it's just the it's they chose to read these long gambling addict things and create them and all these like yeah ad reads you'd give to the people who've been canceled like i always thought too like those ad reads you'd give to the people who've been canceled like i always

thought to like those ad reads for gambling they must pay really good because they take up a lot of space on podcasting right maybe yeah they might i don't know probably um but like you were saying i'm so glad we don't have to do that yeah i mean there probably will be a day where we start reading oh we want money but uh for now it's like this is so fun. That's like doing the ad stuff is kind of like blog bus in my opinion, unless you guys get more on the patron than no ads. Maybe oh yeah, dude, if we keep getting patron subscribers, I don't think we'll ever go to ads. Yeah, there's no reason to be uber rich. Yeah, we want so many patrons that we put ads on our patreon. You know I'm saying all right.

This next one posted by all I do is lie to you. It's called barn doors attempted slight on Dana white gets good douche. I think we already watched this. So let's see if it's the same thing, but I'll say this. Dana is absolutely put ads on the page. This is Spotify. Oh, you ever reloaded of their episode.

Yeah, there will be a if we ever like he's a man holding my hand as I'm gambling my own money. He's not that generous. Yeah, he's not gonna be like here. Taylor. Here's listen. Oh, he's generous. He's generous dude. I was you guys have to say that I was down at one point three hundred thousand dollars. Yeah, I hate when

somebody just won't listen to just like just listen to the story. You don't have to fucking call somebody out on lying, right? You know, he's a fucking liar. So he's like he thinks he has really good lidar dude. Yeah, yeah, that's a good hey best brains. Thank you there. That's why I said it. I was down at one point of this night. This is a week ago, three hundred thousand dollars. I've told you how much I've won, so there's I can in my cycle. I I can say oh I'm up

that's where I'm at I'm down at some point $300,000 there are slappies sitting at this table with us like with 14

15 on the table not hitting and then Dana goes he gets a 10 and then he busts obviously then I'm up and I get the 7

he needed shit like that's happening all night he leans back to me he's like hey take 45 minutes just relax when this starts

to slow down a little bit you and I will go back as he's making his comeback cause he's down worse than I am, he's taking some of his winnings. $15,000 in chips, $30,000 in chips,

and he's essentially tossing it to me. Oh, that's generous. Saying, like, you go and do this. Dude, throughout the night, he probably gave me over $100,000 in chips just to save me. That's the kind of human being Dana White is. He's a fantastic human being. And I still fucking lost. I didn't lose 300,000,

but I lost. Wow. Dana White. Kind of got to suck up to him a little bit in these clips, I think. Most of the people on the show. I'll cut this part out, but we should start complimenting him a little. Yeah, Dana White slings. He's one of those ball guys I know that slings

dick. He's a great guy. And if he ever wants to gamble with me and give me a bunch of chips and stuff, I'll play with him for a while. I probably those ball guys. I know that slings dick. Yeah, he's a great guy and if he ever wants to gamble with me, give me a bunch of chips and stuff. I'll play with him for a while. I probably won't play. I'll just try and exchange the chips for money. Yeah, honestly I don't want to ever play with that kind of money because I'll just be like give me some more baby. Yeah, yeah.

All right, let's go to the next one. This one's called Papa can't say bussing with the boys and other redacted nis posted by all I Do is Lie to You. He's really coming through with the chins clip. I'm pretty sure somebody in this room, I'm not going to say names, said something like Bussing with the Bros. That's his little...

It's my answer thing. It's something... It has to be a mentor. Oh, my God, dude. Brandon, he just shut the fuck up sometimes, dude. Yeah, he can't control himself. He just goes. Yeah, he just goes, dude. Brandon, he just shut the fuck up sometimes, dude. Yeah, he can't control himself. He just goes. He just goes, B. You know what happened?

You know what? I think it's more football than UFC. You think so? Yeah. That was the Buffaloes? Yep, and you're at a down step. Welcome to your future, Danny. Oh, no, no, no. A little longer than a few minutes later. How bad is jelly crushing it

dude he's murdering it murdering it we were talking about like steve joy who i don't know okay

he's another good guy man when jelly first uh the we met jelly the day jelly roll jelly roll how could we

forget dude ever heard of him come on how bad can you imagine saying that to somebody, a friend? Dude, how bad is jelly crushing it? And they immediately know who you're talking about. This makes me suspicious of these two.

You guys listen to Jelly Roll? Get the fuck out of here. Do you have to blow into a Redac meter to enter the studio? They both blew in it and it was like green. All right, have your way in, Redacact you are over the legal limit to drive but you're good to do a podcast yeah dude you have to be drunk to like jelly roll probably you know it would be worse than jelly roll as if ethan klein made music that would be pretty bad there he goes on his painted narrative over there i'm a deal Dio. I brought Jelly there. Jelly wasn't big and Jelly goes, man, I love Bustin' with the Bros.

Jelly's been my boy way before he blew up and I go, come with me. He goes, no, you think they'll have me on? I'm like, at least come, meet them and then after that, get their number. He's like, you think they'll have me on? I'm like, yeah, dude, I know, they're my guys. I forced Jelly to come with me and pushed him on you guys.

What the fuck tool transgression behind everything are somehow they destroy you well why don't you cry about if you hadn't met me you'd never meet jelly roll yeah i made you guys how many careers do you think brendan chavez started? Dude, nobody cared about me before I brought out the role. How many careers he started in his mind, not truly in like any facet. Yeah, like every one

nine million eight inches got him boat alert. All right, so this one's tall. This one's tall. Fuck. This one's called Will is talking about what he misses about the NFL days. And here comes Bapa posted by all I do is lie to you. Let's see. Like when you're in it, it was the best.

Yeah. But when you know how it is, like you're just you're just like chasing something with a like minded individuals. You're in a melting pot. The locker room is the fucking. That's what I miss. I miss the boys. Yeah, I missed it. And we don't have that. Yeah. My first guy in comedy. We had that. The locker room is the fucking best. That's what I miss. I miss the boys. Yeah, I miss them and we don't have that

in LA. Yeah, when I first got into comedy, we had that and it was like, it filled this. I think this is the same clip, right? I don't know. Huge gap and it was like all this. Here it is. I found my yeah, I pack my wolf. This is redacted. Do you feel like you

got boys in comedy, dude? Friends? Yeah. Yeah. Boys. Yeah. And then pandemic kids. They've been on the show. JT. Oh, yeah.

My boy. Luke Schwartz. Luke Schwartz. Daddy. Jay Light. Jay Light. Great guy. Never met him.

Yeah. And everyone goes their separate ways. Yeah. So in LA, the comedy scene is done. As far as like the comedy rap pack. It's just the hang's not there anymore. Sucks. That used to fill the void. Sucks. Yeah, well that's

post LA Times for Brian right there. Pre LA Times. Post LA Times. That's gone. It's tough. So what's keeping you here? Great point. Why don't you go to Austin? Why don't you go to these places that everyone's kind of, we're talking about things like that,

but we know we still have some stuff on here and don't leave. They're like, I guess they keep doing content, but it just makes me nervous. Walk. Don't run to Austin. Yeah. Yeah.

I want, I hopefully they come by a T Timo Studios before they leave. Yeah, stop by before you're on your way out. Not really, but yeah. But no, I think my thing with Austin is when everybody's doing that, I don't want to do that. Does that make sense? Like if I move to Texas, I'm going to like Fort Worth

where I can yell at people stepping on my lawn. Like I want Texas, Texas. Austin's more liberal than here. Like, I'm not going to move somewhere that's liberal. I can go get flavor nicotine. On the outskirts. Find your circles. I went to two gas stations yesterday,

and they didn't have flavor nicotine. You want flavor nicotine? Yeah. What are you doing? Texas is sun hot. It's too hot. I don't mind that. What?

I mean, you want to leave Los Angeles because we don't have flavored nicotine? Be cool, Cooney. That's the biggest thing. I know you love vaping, but are you going to leave? Dude, mango nicotine in Nevada cost $15 for a four pack of jewel pods. Is that way less? Oh, yeah, dude. How much does it cost here?

$26. All right. That's a lot. Even as as a numbers guy i realize it's a lot and you don't have to i know that vape is great i've tried it yeah i don't want to i don't want to do it because i don't i'm not addicted to nicotine so i don't have to but uh and i know it's great but like you gotta have more of a reason to leave if you're gonna shit on la there's got to be something other than flavored nicotine. I agree, but not really because the nicotine prices, you could start a whole life with how much you have to spend out here. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, you are addicted to it, so I guess there's that. But I still stand by what I said. Bible hot, man. I don't mind that. Biblical? Dude, you just got locusts. It's 105 degrees. It was 105 here yesterday, man. I don't mind that. Biblical? Dude, you just got locusts. It's 105 degrees.

It was 105 here yesterday, about. Well, I guess I live closer to the beach. Yeah. That ocean breeze on me. I mean, you're not on the beach. You really can't speak on the beach. When I do sprints on the sand, do you guys have a minute? You're more in Redondo, but we'll call it Manhattan Beach.

Hey, bro. Redondo State Prison. That doesn't make any sense. Oh, what did you think about that clip? Kind of redacted? I mean, I'm always intrigued to hear about the people talking about moving to Alston. That's like right down my alley. I love it.

Yeah. We want to go visit, you know, say hello. We heard someone at the mothership was talking to our guy j light about us. I don't know if they're a fan or not, and I don't know if j light's lying. That's true j light. All he does is lie to you. No, all right. Well, let's go to this one. This one's called Bapa compares his comedy chops to Chris Rock via another bullshit story. It's posted by Organic Possession 53. Let's see here.

Oh, fucking streamables is being blockbuster. So I got it over here. Right. All right. Let's see what this is about. When you say that, that's a compliment. That's such a compliment. Chris Rock one.

It's the same thing. I've had people go, Shop don't write his jokes. There's no way. They come to the show, and then Mark tell me, yeah, go, Shop doesn't write his jokes. There's no way. They come to the show, and then Mark Toney, this guy, thinks you have someone writing jokes.

I'm like, damn, that's a compliment, dude. They think, what do they think, Chris Rock writing them? Chris Rock writing them? Chris Rock writing them?

What's going on with his jacket? I'm like, oh man, that's dope. I'm never like, what? That's ridiculous. No, dude.

Hell yeah, man. Fuck yeah. You think somebody else is doing that? That's dope, dude. He's like, because the jokes I write fucking suck. But I'm focused on the jacket. Hell yeah, man. Fuck yeah. You think somebody else is doing that? That's dope, dude. He's like, because the jokes I write fucking suck. But I'm focused on the jacket. He looks like Thanos.

It's like a Thanos jacket on. It's like up in the back. It's all big and stuff. Purple. Purple. Yeah. He's got rings over there. He's collecting Thanos rings.

That's great. Infinity stones. I mean, this is a good show. It was so good. You think somebody else is riding it. Hell yeah, dude. No, it's bad. This is great. This is fantastic. It a good show. It was so good. You think somebody else is writing it? Hell yeah. No, it's great.

This is fantastic. It's not Jake. Same thing. We think it's bad, but we think someone else wrote it because even bad, it's like, well, shop doesn't know what that word doesn't know.

Sack of Joey is. Oh yeah, you're right. If you know, Sack of Joey is say who she is right now. Shop. That's what I would say. And he would be like,

uh, he's just looking in the phone being like, be cool, dude. Yeah. You know, Saka Jouy is say who she is right now shot. That's what I would say and he would be like. He's just looking in the phone being like be cool dude yeah, he wouldn't even be able to google search it to figure it out. He's he starts spelling with the ch yeah yeah, wouldn't know to spell it exactly all right. So this one's posted by blockbuster buffet. Do this is a long episode. We got a lot of clips today. Yeah, a lot of content this week be this one's called diddler and Montez ignoring Bapa. But I thought he wasn't there this week.

I'm sure it's great. But when I drive by a billboard that says, the most important piece of art I've seen in years, I go like this. Fuck me in the mouth. Fuck me in the mouth. That's how I feel about the USA. Because it's soccer, too. I'm sure it's great. But come on, bro. Fuck me in the mouth that's how i feel about the usa great soccer team i'm sure it's great come on bro fuck me in the mouth but they have but that's he's good at parroting he's like a good like second guy that'd be like yeah the most yeah yeah like radio voice somebody yeah

i guess that's who i am b i I'm gonna go home and turn on the shower and cry. I don't know where I was going to end with us and that's a painted narrative. If I've ever heard one all right, this one's called any chance barn door ran. Oh, we already watched this on let's just skip that one. Yeah, this one's called was the last clip of the day. It's posted by access spend. It's called what it looks like to owe Brad ten K G, which ten K grand thousands. Yeah. Also, what it looks like not to pay Bradley. So just the title itself was kind of click baby. I wanted to see what it was about right. What do you

think? If you can guess what's going to happen, something about the ten thousand that job will no shit Sherlock. I Wait, rate the title one more time. I already closed it. Then I have no guess. All right, he's going to come for that money. Let's see. I can't wait to win that money, man. That's all I'm thinking about.

It feels good. It's always good taking that, not from sports betting, but from a friend. Yeah, it's nice. Because he can watch me spend it. I'm also excited, dude. Yeah, that's the best part. I'll just like a few of your car payments i'll be like yeah it's cool how about we got 10 g's on the main event that's ridiculous i'm trying to have fun um hopefully next time he's at my gym so i'm coming for that money i'm coming for that money i'm coming for that money for real you gotta pay me i can't tell if it's a bet or not but he hasn't paid so many people it takes a while

you know papa's got he's got a lot he's got a lot to do before he gives you the money that he owes you how long would it take for you to pay somebody 10k on a lost bet i'm not gonna bet that kind of money unless i'm gonna but yeah no i just, I don't think I've ever, I don't know if I've ever transferred over that kind of money. Yeah. If it ain't in writing, I'm switching States. There you go.

Gerardo is not going to pay you back. No. All right. We're all a little bit like shop, dude. Yeah. So we have different aspects are like shop and think about yours this week. Put them in the comments.

Yeah. So yeah,