10 Minutes of Schaub - Brendan Schaub's CAWLMENTS SECTION IS DIFFRENT | 10 Minutes of Schaub #196

Episode Date: October 17, 2026

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All right guys, welcome back to Mrs. Shob. You know, it's Memorial Day, happy Memorial Day to all the homeless cats and everybody out there. For all your service. Yeah, you serve all the clientele of the restaurant and people would be hungry without you. So thank you to haphazard and successful egg and all the deleted accounts on Reddit that got too dicey. Exactly. Yeah, the mods. Shout to the mods. Yeah, dude, nobody thinks them enough. I don't think so. Mm-mm. You know, Thurman, Merman.

But anyways, that's not why you're here. You're here to watch Tim as a shop, so start the timer. Play the chain clip. You know, the mod heroes are Mongol Lloyd Christmas, JMAZF, monkey nose, Thurman-Merman and Smooth 50. These are heroes, people. Harrows, dude.

And, you know, some of them, it's probably more for Veterans Day because I think they're still alive. But if any of those monster, yeah, dude. I need a fucking pater tot once a week. Facts. All right, let's see what we got here.

The first post of today is from It Was Ramirez, Water We, Dune Hair. Wow. That looks almost like somewhere in Ireland or something like a pub, Irish pub. Yeah. Or maybe it's France. Dune Hair. So they probably are a hair shop? I don't even know.

There's like a flag up on the top. But I don't know what flag that is. Oh, yeah. some kind of but definitely in English because it says sweet shop and shop next to it. And also Dune Hair

could be English. Shout out to it was Ramirez. This next one we've got is posted by You'll Do Nothing. Slow Day in the Kitchen. So here's a classic. Best Barbecue in America is in Denver.

Yeah. In regards to, I'll get back to a failed, but in regards to the food Denver. Listen, man, I'm a torn comic. I try food everywhere. I'm a fake boy. I try food every single place I go. It's not good. It's where he's from. It's so funny. It's not good. I try food every single place I go. I'm tired. The best barbecues in Denver, Colorado. His face. He's like, what? That's the audience. Not in the same vibe. That's the audience when

the comedian goes and give it up for jelly roll. It's literally the face you make with any of Brennan's steaks almost. But blow your mind right now. And Vinny, Vinny, yep. Have you been to Memphis? Yep. What are they eating 30 South? 30.

I don't know. South something. I've been everywhere. Penny and Cody, if he doesn't make weight on the next fight, don't be mad. Brothers barbecue, bro. I've been to brothers. You're not a fan. No.

What other barbecue? Name better Barberers? No, I knew how brothers came about and I'm not associated with him. It's just my favorite barbecue. I've been everywhere. You gotta stop hyping them up. Bro.

There's nothing better. People want to believe you. They should believe you. It's two British brothers who traveled around America tasting all the best barbecue spots and then stealing their ideas and then making it their own.

They didn't do a good job. That's funny. I don't remember the stealing the ideas part than being British. Because that's what Shabbies always get, you know, criticized for us they would take other people's things, their designs and stuff like that. Yeah.

But British people doing barbecue. Wow. Okay. You don't like it. Oh, it's fantastic. Have you been to London? Their food is like the... Their food is tough.

Their food is tough there. So why would I have a British guy come here? Fair point. Fair point. Fair point. I've been to Memphis. I've been to Memphis. I've been to, like...

That's so disrespectful. These are all good points made by the other guy. I mean, he's right. Brennan Scha's wrong. And I think Brennan Schaub realized at the end of the clip that he's wrong. I forgot about those. You know, it's Memorial Day. It's good to remind yourself of these things.

That's what all these chips live in infamy, as they say. Yes. All these clips live in famous. Some would say the most infamy. Yeah. This is posted by 911 slasher hasher. not to be confused with shit or throat slitter

the man dragon I mean he is funny as much as I don't like him for personal reasons like he's I think what are the personal reasons you know

I mean there was one time when my ex was she had seen my act a thousand times at the comedy store so she's outside of smoking with a friend I come off stage

I turn around the corner and he's draped all over my ex. Like, and you know, he doesn't have a great reputation with women in terms of many things. Chili, I... I don't know she was a few, bro.

Like, you knew she was with somebody, bro. So, unless you want your next set to be through a straw, you will remove your hand up. And I'm not a tough guy at all. And so when I'd say something like that, and like I said, I believe

one of his accusers I mean she had no reason to she had nothing to gain she didn't want money she was like hey he was a creep towards me he did this this and that he basically said it was a bad date which you know

we've all been on bad dates but who weren't accused of assault so yeah no well said he stinks shout out to Rose Cakeville a nice guy never met him great guy

every time somebody mentions an old skakel they're always like you know he's a Kennedy yeah he is yeah he talks about it the man dragon everybody hates call him yeah we're not the first ones dude we're just

reinventing the wheel here not yet posted this one Chin am I hard on you how to dispose of evidence of saying what's happening here give me one second okay we're good shows don't be so hard on chin

but he put Chan Chan there's restraint why would I snap Calhoun's hat off man I love that guy I wouldn't snap his head off don't be so I'm not am I hard on you chin

no I mean no no no I will snap his fucking neck Why would he say that Why would he say yeah what What would yeah We'd never wet That makes him wet What

What? What? We might be hard on each other No homo Diego Friara says What's a good age You get made to have kids I'm 24 my

As we're doing it You know Brendan's obviously strong He's a fucking ox He's like gonna throw me away Throw him Brian away And then eventually You can see in the video It's just me and Brendan

And then Brian kind of just leaves It's supposed to be Me and Brian against Brendan He just leaves And I'm so stubborn I'm so stubborn with like this shit So he got me into like a A weird thing

We're on the floor And I didn't want to tap So He kept going, go, go. He goes, just tap, just tap. I'm like, all, fine, I topped. But it was already, like, way past, like, before I should have tapped. I said what happened.

And, uh, you said Brennan and Brian. I would say ego, Chin. I would say ego. Hey, by the way, I'm gonna. Man, I don't, I don't get it. Like, at our age and older, I don't want to do shit like that. When I was a recording with, um, Tom and John or, uh, the, chat goes deep thing.

JT started doing that with the producer of the show at the end. They were wrestling and I was like, I'd just, this is, I would never, I'm going to break something. Yeah. It's just too, and then that's what happened. He hurt his fucking neck. Brennan can't even run. He heard his hamstring running against Chappelle.

They got to be careful. They work in a storage facility. They could easily hurt themselves. Yeah, dude. What is the life insurance like at the storage facility, you know? That would be so funny. If Chin was, well, I mean, not the. he would die. But if she was married and he died

and his wife got life insurance because he got choked out by Shab. He died from that. All right. This next one's posted by Rabbit 023. It's called Slow Joe thanking Bapa for what's truly important after 14 years together. The Biggest Rock. Kids are blog by so, I guess.

Happy anniversary. My love, seven years of legal marriage. 14 together. Legal marriage is a weird way to put it in that. That is weird. Yeah. Why put him legal? A lifetime to go. Thank you for making sure I have the biggest rock so that men don't get too close without knowing I'm taken. Oh, there it is.

Next to the smallest bag, huh? Yeah, well, she wants to know that there's a reason for why they're together and the reason is because he spent a lot of money. That's good. Yeah. That's exactly what relationship should be. One second, let me take a note really quick. Get the biggest rock.

Got it. Oh, my bat, Mr. Whole Foods. My bad. Jelly Roll actually got his wife a huge ring made of baloney. Little known fact. A ring pop. Yeah, a ring pop. This was posted by King Kind Experience 193.

Whoa, is this copyright infringement doesn't count if it's Spanish, right? What is that? Super interestedasado. Instagram post generator podcast host with a promo picture. Ricardo Gill. Interesting to choose that of all things He's just licensing out his image to anyone I guess anyone

Everyone in any facet Learned Learned Spanish with Brendan Schaub Great guy never met him By you'll do nothing Let's see you here What do you think of the set We criticized the set heavily before

I guess it's better This is better than one of those before I guess Yeah So yeah He's on my series It's really It's still like so haphazard

in random. I'm now noticing the raccoon with the cigarette. That's interesting. Yeah. Have we seen that before? I've sent you that. You sent me? I missed it. That is a weird thing. If they know who we are. Maybe they don't know. But what I'm noticing in the back that is a little sloppy

is the globe is in front of a random. What are those things called? Funko pop. Then something is buying the globe. His phone. It's his cell phone. I'm just too. I'm laughing at myself now, dude. God. All right. Well, I'm Brandon Schaub.

You remember my Funkle Pop theory? Do you or no? No. What school? What was that? What school? I almost had school me on that, but, you know. My Funkerba Thore theory is on YouTube, when you see somebody with more Funkopopop behind them, it's their level of depression. Sure. Do you remember this? No. Oh, wow. No, no.

It's a working theory. People are actually on board with this. I could see it for him, but you know, some people just, love funco pops so much. They're like, if you go to their desk, they have fungo pops everywhere. They're just like really into that shit. It's a life. You wouldn't understand it.

Bobby Lee is one of my closest friends. I mean Bobby talk about. I'm driving my son to baseball practice. He's on my series. Careheads gone wild. I love Gordon. He's a brilliant mind when it comes jih Tzu. Brian Shaw, Frank Grill.

Love Frank. I don't know Brian at all. I know Callan's close with him. I've never met the giant, but I'm a fan of his. I'm a kid. Come on, baby. Oh, he's going to. I'm, I'm, but we have Brian Shaw.

He's literally met him before. And that in the house. And I'm already, you have the world's strongest man in the house. He has a memory of a fucking idiot. Yeah. Good job. Leave the marketing to Bagflit posted by Ballbag Berry 69.

Laugh with me, Not at me, bro. Not. I don't know. This is a very low post, but we're doing hot today since we recorded it out of schedule. Post by Chin Minuto. Word of advice to create chin's replacement. Let Bapa open that package.

Chin claims is, quote, old studio equipment. Okay. So what are we looking for here? Okay. Yeah, it looks like the unobomber. The life and crimes of Chin Sui, the domestic thick boy responsible for the FBI's most expensive manhunt. Wow. Yeah, he looks like the Unabomber. That's a pretty Unabomber thing right there. Right. This one's posted by Not Yet. Bapa asks BGL to move on. BGL explains eloquently why he

doesn't. Okay. So, dude, I have a sneaking suspicion that not yet is unique. Could be. Yeah. Every video we see of his, it has all the telltale signs of a unique video, dude. funny about that is it maybe you're right. It is one of the meanest things that you could possibly say to someone if they're not that, that they think they're unique. That's like, that's this fucking, that's

a diabolical thing to say, dude. That's the narrative. So I pray that not yet is unique now and not emotionally destroyed by what you just said. I saw it. Former long-gared employee that can't keep an honest every podcast you've shown you, find it's pretty, but I mean, what else is he going to talk about? You know, what else

can he do? brand it's also been three years dude you gotta move on um but it's on goes i do a lot of edging what always talking about bg yeah no you know what my my i talk shit to people online that's what they're like you know i'm like yes i'll call someone a faggot in my comments or something a straight man who's calling me you're like i use it not a gay man i'm like i i'm edgy in the language that i use to like debate people because it's like this is my black belt is like well let's do this all day i can type you know i can type you're like i can and talk shit to you if you think you're gonna out talk shit me like this doesn't stress me out

it's like a little video game i like how he says out talk shit me that's like the wrong way you're saying he's a full of shit no i'm not what the fuck man that's social media this isn't real out talk shit me i like that i'm gonna start saying that are you trying to out talk shit me you wish you could talk like me and bgl i do well you full of shit oh my god sorry about that But then I'll post the exchanges to my story and be like, you know, to a brand that looks unhinged. I'm like, oh, no, no, no, this is just like eating breakfast for me. Like, but you might, out of context, you think I'm like raging out. I'm like, no, there's a smile on my face the whole time because this guy's a fucking idiot, you know, and I know what he's going to say next or, you know, like I know what you're going to say about my face.

Oh, I have lip fillers or what, you know, I'm like, oh, no, no, no. They discovered my secret lip fillers. I don't have lip fillers. Are you signed up? Sorry, I'm moving super slow because there's like a waiver that I'm signing. And, uh, he gave us the link, dude. I thought he said I have to sign in. So I think he was talking shit about Brennan to chop there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All the good points, you know, oh, yeah, my lip filler. Oh, I have small teeth, big gums. Ooh, ooh, ooh, I fuck squirrels, like, push Sharpies in my ass. Yeah. Oh, what's next, you know? Yeah. Uh, back to the big brown breakdown here.

Did we see this one? No. Views don't always equal good. Just look at my special post about you'll do nothing. I watch this in my free time. Just because something's getting views doesn't mean it's the biggest or best. So it's like, you know. It's like my special.

I think it's at three million views. It ain't a three million view special. You know what I'm saying? It's not even had three. It is in the three minutes. God damn it, Brendan. It's only 22 minutes long,

you know? And that's why it's not a 3 million views special. It's only 22 minutes long. Yeah, because if it was longer, obviously, it would be like out there. Yeah,

it would be at 45 million. But I can run on the end of 3 million views. What's up? And people are like, no, I know, but you're at the comments? You know,

it's like, so for Jake Paul, it's like 108 million views against Spike Tyson is like, no, I know, it's really good. Have you read the comments?

You know? A hundred-year-old native of Hiroshima told me this is the most horrifying name. Does that make sense? Does that translate here? That's actually a really good metaphor. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. It's not a metaphor.

It's a simile. That's like my special. Yeah. That's pretty on the nose. Crop out the uglies. Resend. Any thoughts? I mean, just that still made it look like.

had work done in his face before I bring a poppy, which I'm, there's always something new that I can see when I see that. And I like that he's, you know, being somewhat self-aware, but it's funny. Even in the self-awareness, there's a lack of self-awareness. Yeah. Because it's not a three-million. Let's just take a gander at the newest comments on his special really quick. Chin is the dumbest, okay, as nine I've ever seen or heard of. So it's chin comment there. 100% ass. How can anything possibly be this bad? This is the last hour, folks. Someone said that while we were recording. Props to the peeps that are laughing.

I'm not a stand-up comedian, but I genuinely think I could do a better set than this on the fly with zero preparation. Maybe. Brennan Chopp sucks at comedy and loves the Vax. What a tool. This is really, really bad, really bad. It's just reiterating.

Sky Panda, shout out to you. The only funny parts were me reacting to how funny he thought he sounded. This makes me miserable. this is better than burn the boats Nope this ain't it Bro this thick branding is ridiculous Well it's not that so

Yeah you didn't get three Cs but yeah Anyways hey Baba Just a quick check in there Let's go back to the Reddit Something We have a not yet post Brenda sold Johanna's Gwagon To some Saudi dude for 70K

profit Is it all she sold Let's see here Something I absolutely beg you to buy something. I remember Tiger not wanting you to drop them up at school in the lightning. Yeah. So for your first question, girls, does Joe like to change out cars often as yourself?

No. No, she's the exact opposite. So there's nothing she loves more than a G-Wagon. It's her absolute favorite car. And during the pandemic, there was this scarcity, an issue with, you know, just creating G-wagons. So the price went through the fucking roof. And my boy... Creating G-wagons.

Like, they never existed before the pandemic. I think he was looking for making. Manufacturing. Greg, at the time, who passed away, who's my router-dye car guy, he called me, and I think I paid, like... I want to say, like, 120 for her G-Wagon.

It was a G-63 AMG. He died because Shadme to make a G-Wagie. and he got COVID and passed away. He should have been at home with his family. Meanwhile, Schaub's face is like, come on, where's my G-Wagon? Love that fucking car. She had one before that.

She just loves G-waggons any year, whatever it is. That's her shit. She loves them. So Greg calls me and says, hey, man, they're having a production issue with the G-wagon. They're not coming to the States. The prices are double right now.

I said, how long do you mean double? He goes, I don't know. But as soon as the guy, they're having a guy. the factory gets ramped back up, the price is going to sell it down. Dude, we could probably get you double. I said, I'll put some feelers out. Boom.

We had some Saudi dude offers like 190. I paid 120. Nice. We sold that fast. Literally the next day, that bitch was on a boat to fucking Saudi Arabia. I kind of regret doing that, especially at that time, you know, because she loves G-Wagon.

So eventually I do- He ripped someone off. He's like, I regret doing that. Oh, he feels bad about ripping somebody off. But then that's because his wife misses the car. So he ripped someone off and he pissed off his wife for 70,000 bucks. We're worth it. Yeah.

Got to get her one of those. Again, she doesn't care if it's 15, 13, 16, 17, brand new. She does not care. She loves two wagons. I always trip on on Gweather. I don't fit in them great. They're not the most comfortable, Ryan.

Especially the inside, like the cabs tight for my big ass, but she fucking adores them. Like, that's her shit. As far as, like, I built up my excursions, sold that, the kids were pissed off about that. Built that lightning up, sold that, kids were pissed off about that. The lightning and the excursion,

the two ones that they were mad. I'm mad at the excursion, dude. I can't believe you found the clean. You found such a clean. I still look every day. I can find another. I tell my kids, don't worry, I'll get another one. Now that you don't live in the San Fernando Valley anymore,

what street was your last house on? I grew up in Northridge. I'm just curious. Thanks for everything. She me 47. Now that you don't live in. What a weird question. Yeah.

This is real fandom. Yeah. Well, if you were a real fan and that's the line. line of questioning, what would be your question? Okay. What? Something creepy. Like, what school do your kids go to?

That's so, like, creepy. But that question, that would be creepy just to get, no matter who you are. What street did you live on? Maybe that person is a bit on the spectrum or something. Oh, yeah. I know that you're going on a commando a lot now, but what size underwear did you used to wear? Like, yeah, what brand?

What brand and color of underwear do you wear when you're working out. I mean, we could do a lot of skits and bits if we bought a Patreon subscription to him. Yeah. Yeah. On Patreon. It would be fun. The Patreon, the review of the Patreon, Patreon, yeah. All right, let's see here. So then this is posted by Not Yet. He's up and down this timeline, dude. It's posted by Not Yet Hot Chin drops a Bapa meme and the producers discuss how podcasting doesn't pay the car bills. So then get it next Wednesday. Did you, are you leasing it or payments?

Payments paid a lot. I have, I did a 48 month payment. That's good. Okay. Yeah. Nice. People advise to not go above 60. Yeah.

All those financial gurus. I'm just laughing at the, I'm talking about car payment. Try to give you cans. Yeah. God damn it. Next to what cans? Beer cans. Oh, okay.

Let's see here. 272, like, automatically. And I'm like, no, I'm just going to do that. And I'm even planning on paying it off sooner than that. Yeah. Good. That's awesome. Yeah.

Yeah. I have a vehicle. Mine is, like, got 140,000 miles. Just cost me $100 to fill it up. No big deal. I do that roughly once a week. And I was taking Steph's car, which is a Tesla back and port to Calabasas, which is great. no gas even if I have to charge it it's like eight bucks

it's like night and a different obviously no gas all breaks yeah exactly um the nick head for the folks at home Nick goes like this when he says something he's pleased oh yeah and he knows like a whole vibe with it now he's gonna be so he's gonna be so like aware of it this whole pod

um so is chin in the woods is he really Unabomber I mean he's in the story facility for sure, I think. I've been toying. I'm like, do I pay my car down? I only have a little bit left on the loan payment. Pay it down. Get rid of it. Upgrade to a Tessie or something. But I'm like, I'm doing the whole thing of like analyzing all these different car prices. Like how much it would have... Analyzing. Own a gas car versus electric. Everything, any electric option is like, you might as well have a Tesla because it's like you have access to this.

superchargers or whatever. It just, doing the whole car thing sucks. It's just so funny how differently we do things. I got pissed off and I bought a car online that will be delivered within an hour. And then you are looking up and not. Have you thought about just riding your car out, like, out for a while now that's paid? Yes.

Well, the difference is I actually owe more than it's probably that I would get for it. What's that called underwater or something? You're like, this is the worst part. But it reminds, what I'm thinking about during this is like, all four of these dudes were involved in one podcast. It took these four guys to make T-Fat-K and all that other shit that they did. What were they doing? I don't know.

Because they still left everything in that was bad. What was their job? We should get four idiots to do our podcast. Yeah. But we can't pay what Brennan shop. And it somehow makes our show worse. You know? Yeah.

They're so bad that it makes our show worse. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I still owe like a decent amount on the car. And if I were to trade it in, they'd give me like only a couple thousand for. You know, so it's like I'm still paying.

I'm going to try to just pay it down as fast as possible. Is it the one like I've been in and stuff? Yeah. How is? I have a silver like 2014 BMW. It's great. How long have you? How long have you?

I've had it for about... I got it, I think, in 2020. So I think maybe six years. And then Hot Chip can easily be like... Well, you guys talk about cars. It's like, no, you suck ass. And we don't even talk. No, I don't know shit about cars, dude.

Never been a truck guy. This is the early onset car guy syndrome right here. You know? Yeah. Next thing you know, you're walking, you buy a truck. You know what I mean? You're trying to walk chicks to your truck to get your dick sucked. Imagine buying a truck just to get your dick sucked.

your dick sucked. They think it leaves it. I mean, I remember I told the story about how I bought that car. I did one episode on that and I never wanted to think about it again. You told me to delete it. I was like, no, this is golden stuff. Yeah, take it out. This one's posted by sick cards, bro.

It's called Chambi looking out for us homeless ones. Five-year-old dressed up as superheroes to help homeless cats because it makes him feel like he's saving the world. Aw, that's cool. Great guy. Never met him. We'll cut that part out. Post by MTV 3 or 232.

Has Bapa ever had a shorter lived hobby than his 24 hours of archery last year? Oh, yeah, man. That was good. That was a good one. Yeah. The archery thing was funny, bow hunting. Archery country hats. Wow.

That's the only reason why. Well. It's some sponsor. Oh, merch, yeah. Yeah. Well, you got to do merch when you get the chance. Doesn't matter what it is. Yeah, every day.

I'm leasing my name out to people left and right This is posted by ostrich smoothie Why They Allow Him Who Water Why They Allow Him Who Okay Like I always wonder why they allow me to come on the JRE And say stuff

I know a lot of stuff that I don't know what it unlocks Well it's easy to dismiss any Why they allow me Yeah who's they Nicey, nicey. Dude, dude. Sure, but China's smarter. And by the way, the LLMs.

I mean, Mm. AI. Very strange. Ever heard of it? The tech bros are allowing you to come on JRE? Yeah, dude. Fucking Weinstein, dude, or Weisenstein or whatever his name is, bro.

That guy knows a lot. He's different. Cool story. Wayvos and chills. Cool story, bro, but where's the fucking rain at? That's what I want to know. What happened to the good days of this fucking show, dude? where we got rain and magic mind and helix mattresses.

How can you do a show without rain? Yeah. This one's posted by Williams DJ01. Cam is on that blue scorpion milk and peptides. Sage Kennedy has reported Cam Haynes to Usada. Cam Haynes is an archery. I don't know who he is, but I don't know. Usada's like the drug testing thing.

He ran two hours and 39 minutes for the marathon. A week later, he filed a tip with the anti-dubbing agency. He says he's been in direct contact with the agency. 58 years old is different for a marathon, dude. Let's get for this episode. And any facet. Yeah, dude, I'm on Vibance. Big Browns, all frowns, B, posted by Terps exclusive.

Let's skip for this episode. I'll answer all the rest of your questions on Sunday's full Q&A. Thank you guys so much for all the questions. I love you guys. Thanks for tuning in. Make the show what it is. That's it, man. Welcome to Big Brown Breakdown.

I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. Okay. It's Pino, bitch. So every week we run into at least one painted narrative. So let's see if we could do top for the week now.

For a while. Do you have any video of this? There's some of these that we've already seen. So we're just going to breeze through and see ones we haven't yet. We saw that one. We saw that one. We saw that one. Okay, here we go.

posted by Least Tangelo 8502, Rogan and Jamie both laugh at Shob's new show name during impromptu promo. That sounds good. Of course you are. If you go to 2B, 2BI, missing 411 The Hunted, the movie's there for free.

You guys could watch it. Also check out Gearheads gone wild. That's my friend's show. Okay, so. This guy's like, all right, anyways. That's the worst name of a show I ever. The other guy just goes like nothing. He doesn't give a fuck, dude.

Fuck yeah. He should have said fuck yeah. Not even gonna pretend. Of course you like, I don't know what that is. Don't care. Next. I'm not fucking co-signing something like that. Get the fuck out of here with that shit.

This one's, Icarus lives. What happens next part 32? I already like it, Daddy. Let's see. What happens next? What happened next? I am white as shit, Dallas.

Yeah. I need a fucking... What happens next? Once a wee. It was actually... I was at... Someone rented me when I was a UFC fight. Someone rented me...

For an eight-year-old's birthday party. Yeah. Rented me for two eight-year-old's birthday party. They sent me a limo, right? No, they don't give me any info. At the time, I had no money fighting the UFC. Yeah, yeah. They gave me...

20K grand. Okay. $10,000. Wow. They give me a limbo. They drive me like three hours in the sticks. I'm some... Indian burial ground.

Yeah, dude. That's awesome. I mean, I have no idea what he says, but that would be great. Native American ranch. And it's these huge houses. Dope-ass houses. Right? I walk in.

It's like a scene out of training day. There's all these in Native Americans. And wife beaters, tattoos head to toe, playing cards. I'm like, the fuck is this. There's a giant fish tank behind them. They're like, now fight. There's a giant fish tank back. Check this out.

I go outside and the mom's like, oh, so glad you came, you know. My kids are big fans. Prominent feature of him using a straw, too. Let's not forget. He's obviously using a straw, even though straws are gay, apparently. My kids are big fans. My husband's a big fan. I wanted to be A.

It makes more sense. My kids are fan. That's for an eight-year-old birthday party. Why would you have them there? Or the dad is so bored during birthday parties. Like, I need my entertainment. I'm a big fan of Brennan Schaub, who's not famous yet, apparently. Fighting.

That makes sense, dude. I thought you're going to push something. I guess that makes me a big old pussy. Husband's a big fan. My husband's a big fan. My husband gives me $10,000 cash. She's like, do we just need you here for an hour? and she goes, it's a UFC theme party.

My kids love it. I go, how are your kids? She goes eight and they're twins. I was like, weird. Okay. The cake comes out of a UFC fighter. Whereas I think Octagon. Yeah.

It's made of like the octagon has all fighters on it. Then the kid, she gives them gloves and they start fighting. The kids and them start fighting. Straight up fighting. UFC stop. I'm like, oh my God, I want the fuck out of him. Oh, my God. 10 Gs, though.

Where is this? Colorado This was way in the sticks Colorado No this is California Native America yeah when I was fighting

New Cid I've got them all I know right damn Brendan's hard hard to guess now my memory I mean I

vaguely remember I'm talking about people fighting in a Native American something but I don't remember anything else from that club

but it's classic you started to be like I guess I got a dog did he die in the The reverent oh the costume was so good

Did he die in the reverent? Reverent. What do you call it? Well, the revenant. What I call it? The reverent. But you know what I'm talking about, right? Yeah, man.

Then shut up. All right. I'd like to stick to just, for the most part, water and coffee. That's been, bro. I know. But I do like that zevia. Me too. Do you drink a lot of water?

Oh yeah, he never drinks water. Never, dude. Always been a water guy. Never drink water. Ever? You're fucking athlete. He'd be careful. I'm not an athlete anymore.

Water's a myth. That's such a hilarious quote. Water is a myth. I like that. If he says that, that's awesome. But I mean, when you were training, though, it's also a myth. So if you drink eight cups of coffee, that still counts as fluids. It's a diuretic, but it's still a fluid.

It's a diuretic, which means it's dehydrating you. It's pushing it through, but it's still liquids. You're going to get kidney stones and stuff. I feel great right now. Beg the difference. I feel great right now. Although I was getting pretty sick from drinking so much coffee, start throwing up and stuff on set.

What? What? Well, Thursday, that means it time for another edition of Ask Ellen. So Chris wants to know, is there any truth to the old saying, Red Sky at Night? Peaches, Light Red Sky in the morning's peaches. Take warning. I love this one.

I've been waiting for someone to ask this. We've all seen it a really gorgeous nighttime sky where it is just vibrant red. And we always say that saying red sky at night. Peaches, delight. So is it true? Is there anything behind it? Well, let's start first with why we actually see a sunset.

When you reach out with a guy with long arms like Kevin Hall, that's why he's so good at Darts is. I have long arms do. It's a peach's delight, you know? The storms have already. past that one actually holds true. Peach is delight, dude. Wow, these are getting long.

I like it. I feel like we just sat in the theater and watched the whole film. Yeah, it was like, yeah, it was like a new movie. Let's see what else we got here. Appropriate Duty 930 posted this one. The Chombie's parent can't afford summer camp. I don't get this one. You can't afford summer camp. So they die?

I guess. I recently watched the film Black Phone 2. Have you seen this one? I haven't seen Blackphone 2 yet. I keep forgetting. I want to see that. So no spoilers. Skip.

Skip. It's fucking bad. Oh, it's bad? Oh, okay. Skip. All right. Yeah, dude. So you're not missing out of much.

I haven't finished it yet. That's how bad it is. I fell asleep twice. Wow. Which, yeah, I know it's on a streamer. The other day, I was like, oh, it's out. Do you want to watch that? My was like, no.

Netflix. Okay. Not Tubey. Commonly misconstrue. Yeah, a lot of good stuff on TV. Yeah, dude, Gerhead's gone wild. We watched that already. We already saw this one.

How'd podcasting go? P.F. Chang's is the iceberg and Brendan Schab and Brian Callen are on the Titanic. I like it. I like it. Excellent post from Moonwager. We already saw that one. Friday content. This is like,

I couldn't even finish watching this when I saw it on my phone. Wow. It's just cringe to the nth degree. Really? I like, I swear to it. Yeah, no, I believe you. So it's going to be a lot of songs. When the DJ thinks he cannot smart.

It's just her showing her ass as much as possible. Yeah. Prince Royce. Sorry. That's a great song. Yeah, no, I mean, that's all she does. At least it was good music, I guess. Instagram should really intervene.

not just on her but on people like this and be like, are you okay? That's funny. I like that. It's like because they kind of do that sometimes like if you say something mean on threads or like, are you sure you want to post this? They should do that to her with her ass stuff.

Yes. They're like, you're a mom. Most moms don't post stuff like this. You know how they say other users don't usually respond like this or whatever. They say that to her. You've been turning the comments off of every post. Are you sure you want to post this?

All right. What are we doing? posted by In Diego. Oops. Oh, I've seen this one. Stop running, dude. We can't be doing this, dude. No.

Too old. Don't do it. You want to go in a full sprint with me right now, dude? Let's see if our hamstrings are okay. No, I don't want to. Shab taught us a lesson. You know, a lot of the things he does, they're stupid, but they're also like, now I know I shouldn't do that.

Maybe I would have flipped a truck. I had not seen it. Sorry. Yeah. And, you know, there's like literally athletes in the NBA Western Conference Finals, Eastern Conference Finals, pulling hamstrings.

These are the most fit people of all time. Yes. And when they go into a full sprint, sometimes they pull a hamstring. Yeah. And what are we like, we're just two guys that do 10 minutes of shot every week? Our hand streams are begging for us to go into a full sprint

so that we could become sedetary. for a little while longer because that's what our body like to do, dude. Yeah, that would be scathed. Very scathed. I'll rip my fucking hamstrings neck off, dude. No days off for chin. Vaca proposal, Godushed. Is, oh, vacate proposal of good-duced. I don't think we've seen this yet.

Oh, yeah. You have anything? I'd like to go visit my family and friends again. Just like for a weekend. Yeah. That's easy. No, it's easy. I mean, 13th to 20th, though. You guys want to just go dark? Sure. we can take a break I've never yeah that would be kind of cool just to have a little week off

but either way I'm gonna miss I always miss like working so we'll still have a big brown breakdown but we're trying to get I don't think we were taking a week off sometimes a break's good we also have bank some stuff yeah we can always have one episode true we'll figure it out yeah we know no crazy plans I want to actually

it's just the worst podcast ever made, dude. Yeah, like that, it's probably broken record saying this, but that could be set off camera. Just playing it real quick what you want to do. Yeah. And they're just,

yeah, well, yeah, well, breaks are good, you know? Are we having an episode? No, we don't have anything like that. All right. See you next week. Honestly, Chin, don't show up for a week. What are they going to do?

replace you? I fucking doubt it, dude. Yeah, if you want to see your family, Chen, go see your family. Please, for the love. The camera's right here, dude. Shop won't even know. that one switched.

Shab won't even know that he's gone. He'll just show up and think, oh my God, I did a whole thing. Where's the video? Shab's doing podcasting without the recording on. Yeah, dude. Chin, just leave.

They're not going to notice. Andy Roddick schools Bapa on being a baseball dad posted by not yet. See what I'm saying? This is definitely, this is definitely unique posting these. Great at basketball or maybe in tennis. What do you say to that?

So there's two things. There's one, whenever you think your kid is really good at someone, at something, just travel a little further. Wow. Right. So like you see the kids in our leagues. Wow. What a great thought.

There's how many kids are in your league? Are they the best 10 in their league? So therefore we think they're awesome. Yes. Are there 50 other leagues like that in the state? That's really good. So then it's like let's at least, let's apply math to excellence a little bit. And like let's then let's.

Then let's stress test against that. The worst question I get asked all the time is how many hours a day did you train? Wow. And I was like, I don't know. And I was nine, I could hold my attention for like an hour. And what I think is how many hours can you play before it becomes tedious and not fun? Wow. And some kids can go three hours and they love it the whole time.

You're doing a disservice to the kids that have an hour and a half. You're making, they feel terrible about the last hour of practice. And you can say, let's try to build. Let's build five minutes, right? But because some guy you asked who used to play sports says four hours, you're going to go do four. Like there's different kids progress at different times. They're ready for things at different times.

There's not like a stock answer. And the other thing that I'll say is like, if you're a parent and you're guiding your kids, control the controllables, right? If something happens and you get called out on strikes, the conversation can't be for the rest of the day. That ref sucks. right? It has to be

you're going to get one, you're going to lose one. Like what did we do well that we can control? Did you show up? Were you warm when you went in? You know, were you one of the first ones there? Were you ready to throw when the time started? Like, if the conversation centers around the stuff that's in your control and you get 95% of those right, you're going to have a lot more days that feel like wins, I think.

Yeah. That's so good, man. Gosh, that's good. Yeah, that's total bullshit, dude. the best dads you want your kid to be good at sports and I know this because I was really good Yeah is one ask yourself is there a cubby at the field is my stuff in the cubby? Can I hang out at the cubby? Yeah Have I yelled at the referee this day? Did my son get a fat kid to hit a home runoff him? Did I yell at him after that happened? Yeah. You're done. Okay, so for today's baseball lesson is it an umpire or is it a grump pyre? Is this guy suck ass or is he good? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. Don't even swing your hardest if it's a grumpire,

because they're going to strike you out. Yeah, they're going to strike you out anyways. So, like, I got to get on the field, and it's actually my bad. Yeah. If the umpire feels he can do that without me yelling at him. And if you get a hit, flip the bat as hard as you can. I want four flips on.

I want that bat's hamstring to be strained. Because they have the DNA that maybe antirotic doesn't get it because he plays tennis or whatever. But like my kid, he has a DNA where he can succeed. So maybe it's just a game for him or whatever. But it's like for me, it's a little different. It's like, no, no, no, I get it.

But I'm like, you know, I'm going to tell my son what to do. Andy Rodic, more like Andy Rongick. Okay. Because you're wrong. Definitely unique posting these. I like that unique is watching Dadville. Yeah. You know?

Well, you know, when you're dedicated, you're going to watch it all. You got to dig deep, you know what I mean? We saw that one. Did Bapa quit the Golden Hour? Uh-oh. Excellent question posed by CP 2075. Weird CP thing, but Chris and Eric's dark passenger. Yeah, it looks like he did.

I think we don't need any more. Oh, his name's right there. Oh, name's still there. Yeah. Maybe he's taking a little break. Ever paid. This one's posted by not yet. Theo names the Waters.

Let's start from the beginning. Ever paid our podcast and others. There he is right there. He was missing, defrauded that I know of, of me and my friends, is up to like $4 million. No way. What is he doing right now? Do you know?

I'm not sure. I'm glad that I don't have to be involved with him anymore. We have a guy who allegedly stole a bunch of money from us a few. The podcast, one guy. Yeah. Also known as Brendan Schaubman. We saw that one. Brian gets caduzed by Glassman.

Did we watch? I feel like we've seen this. Yeah, I think so. How old is Brian Callum? You mean like in biological terms or? We saw this. Okay. What do you mean?

So show business, what do I play? I play, I can play anywhere from 30 to 40s. You think you could play 30? I don't know. You think you're my, you think you could play what I play? I think with what's called a soft filter. Right.

Yeah. Yeah, especially if I had a glassman wig on. You know what I mean? A lot of, a lot of what holds me back is, Yeah. So a lot of that, thank you. Can't believe that you have that. A lot of... Throwing a wig at him as funny. Brian gets costume just tossed at him.

It's supposed to be like a bit, but it's too real. Because like that's how people treat Callan. When he shows up, they just toss a costume in his face, like a cow costume. Put it on, put it on a guy. Moo. Moor where you get beat. Moo for the camera. That's what the director says to Callan when he shows up.

Right. So, and let's be honest, it ages me. I've lost a lot of hair. But I want you to pay attention. Well, I have. I have. I've looked into it. I'm sure money isn't an issue for you.

No, I make a fortune. But look, I want you to watch now what happens to my face. Watch what happens to my face. So did you see how young I look all of a sudden? Isn't that crazy? Yeah. I don't know about 30, but 40 or 50. You could play 40 if you had hair like that.

All right. Put an AI filter on. Dude, I want to do. that so bad at Calend casting something and then he shows I've just throw a costume man at him like a dog costume I go woof well for me you're playing the tree in the scene I mean I'm gonna scrape in the bottom here dude but uh mentally he's in 2016 this one's called posted by willem de cooning I don't like that name uh so thing I'm glad he's back to we got have expectations.

Well, you gotta... I'm the kid on the porch, baby. 38? No. Fuck no. Count is what, 31 now? No. He's 36, 37 of him, shut.

No, he's 38. No way, he's not 38. There's no way he's 30. He might be, he might be. I think he's up. He's older than me. Bubba, time flies. Time flies, Bob, I'm sorry.

37. 37, you see what I'm saying? And by the way, he's about to be 38. When he fights him, he'll be 30. That's true. That's July. Okay. And that's a lot of miles on a 38-year-old.

So if you're expecting... That's all the miles. That's all the miles. Yeah, it's true. I think about that in all my fights now. Yeah. I try to only get in fights with other 40-year-olds. Yeah.

The escaped goat is back. You'll do nothing. You'll do nothing post of this. Thank you for that. Let's see. Gave it to OJ's defense team. So he was like... And they said, have you ever used the word?

And he was like, next thing I know, like, I'm the guy. I'm the escape goat for OJ. He's like, and that is not the case. Chris Rock was just kind of the escape goat from all the... And it's an escape goat to go. They don't have much control. Well, keep that same energy when transgender can go into the bathroom.

You got to go there, bro. Yeah, sorry, guys. Escape coat. Oh, man, dude. A little peek behind the curtain. We've recorded a Patreon episode earlier. So we're at like Joe Rogan length of episode recording today, dude. Yes, yes.

We're at three hours, dude. Wow. Isn't that bananas? Imagine talking like the whole time we've been recording, you could be talking with Eric Weinstein. Yeah. Like Joe Rogan. Oh my God. Imagine how much more drain you'd be.

Yeah. Because you have to keep it alive. Mm-hmm. He's just over there going about, you know, well, you know, they don't. I know a lot. I know a lot. Then you have to be like, what do you know? You can't, he won't just say it.

Right. We've talked about this before. Like, ask me a question maybe with scientific inquiry. Sure. What do you think about like the sky? Wow. So you're looking at the sky when you could be looking at the polymers

underneath our feet. Those are way more interesting, Cooney. The telomeres in mice. Yeah. I remember, ugh. The telomers in mice are bluer than the sky. Did you know that? But you're over here asking me

what the sky looks like. You are dumb, Cooney. Yeah. What do you say back to that? Yeah. But yeah, we've been recording for three hours. We did a whole episode on jelly roll hate on the fucking Patreon.

And the roadcaster attacked us because our roadcaster does love jelly roll. So, but that'll be up there. Thanks to all you guys coming through and saying hello to us. You know what I mean? It's Memorial Day weekend. Yes.

So we're going to go to the beach right now with some baddies and a G-wagon and hopefully walk them to a different truck. You know what I'm talking about? I mean, that's said so well, dude. Bean cheese, bean cheese, bean cheese. There's a motel next to the beach called truck. So hopefully we walk him to the truck.

Oh, wow. Yeah. Sorry, my imagination is flaring up right now. That's social media. This isn't real. But yeah, anything you want to say, Mr. Cooney? Nope. See you next week.

Okay.