10 Minutes of Schaub - BRENDAN SCHAUB'S CELEBRITY FRIENDS! | 10 Minutes of Schaub #66

Episode Date: October 1, 2023

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Ready, set, go! As a man can come But stronger than a T. Lou Wong And when the bad trolls All get together at night You know they all call Big Brand Slop Just because And they say You don't talk about the E-Wave You don't care And you're the same

You don't lie about playing in the NFL And you don't mess around with friends Ba-doob-a-dee-ba-da Dee-dee-dee-dee-dee. One day. It's time for my favorite time of the week. When you get the ear, Bob,

try to speak. Release surprises today. You better act gay or watch 10 Minutes of Shop. Welcome back to 10 Minutes of Shop. Thanks for tuning in. And as always, join the patreon. We just watched Jim Brewer's stand-up special. Somebody had to say it. It was really bad like almost well not almost it was unwatchable. Oh yeah, we stopped watching

it. We stopped watching it. We couldn't get through the whole thing because it was just it was bad right Like a lot of animal noises and dancing and stuff and quacking and quacking, farting. He talked out of his ass a lot. Not even politically. We didn't like it's just like, yeah, it was just not for us. Yeah, but

you know, we struggle for you. We try to get through the whole thing. If you want to join the Patreon, but anyways, that's not why you're here. You're here for as as always, 10 minutes of Shob. So play the chain clip, start the timer now. All righty. So we've got a, it's not, it's a light week at Chang's. Got to say, we usually have like 20 clips pulled up today.

We only got, what, like 10? Yeah, well, you're a numbers guy. You expect every once in a while, the kitchen's going to be, maybe they're just making really good dishes. Yeah. Takes a bit more time to serve up the the best stuff, you know. Yeah, you know,

it's it's the we're in the eye of the storm as they say, just when you think there's not a lot happening dishes wise Baba does something redacted, you know employment numbers haven't come out yet, so we don't know it'd be like some unemployment going on. People got laid out for the kitchen. You know,

true. We wish them the best of luck. Joe Rogan is shorty pipe. Good question. Be interesting. But this first one is posted by Bob win 770. It's called Bapa's celebrity fans featuring Eminem, Travis Barker,

Leonardo DiCaprio, Kanye West, and more compilation. You ready for this? Be yeah. Oh, and I'm Amazon's Instagram, Twitter, and social. The way ready for this B? Yeah. Oh, and MMS on Instagram, Twitter,

social, the way he mumbles through M&M. It's great. Yeah, I mean, it's, it's peak shop. It's one of the best parts of listening to shop because he played the audio a

little bit before it started. I started laughing and he looked at me like, what? And I was like, Oh, I just heard about M&M, but I didn't know he was talking about M&M. Now I know it's even funnier. the media he's dm me i had a thing with eminem right i had

a thing with eminem right oh he's dming me okay all right right okay so adam sandler you're the tough guy that does comedy right and i was like holy fuck i was a fighter and he had tears in his eyes. It was telling me to stop fighting. Who? Casey Affleck. He's so redacted that Casey Affleck is stepping in. Like, hey, you got to stop. Casey Affleck gave him the speech that Ben Affleck gives Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting.

My dream is that one day I come here and you're gone. He's talking about UFC. Yeah. We're talking Manchester by the CTE, dude. You know what I'm saying, dude? Look at you. Look at you guys. Hell yeah.

Boner alert. Very good. We for sure got a couple of boner alerts coming up. We got a little sneak preview of a couple of these clips, dude. All right. Let's see what the rest of this one has, though. He's like, you don't need to do this man. Yeah, you have so much going for your smart kid, but I didn't write that

first. My guy looks like Adam. I wasn't sure if it was Adam Sandler, the most famous comedian of all time. Then I realized it was and he loves me. You know, it's so funny is Nick Swartzen is like Adam Sandler's best friend. One of them. Oh yeah, he's like one of the guys. Yeah, one of the he's looking at Papa like right now, like you don't even know how

much shit this will talk about you. It looks like he wanted a bender and shop bringing up Adam Sandler's and making it harder for him to focus. He's more hung over. Yeah, he came up to me. I was at the comedy store two nights before. I think he was around then. Can't do was like you're that funny

guy that kicks out. Wait, what? He's saying that. Oh, I did it in my special. We know because we watched that on Patreon, too. Yeah. Another hard one to get through. Yeah, but it was very hard.

Actually, I was looking forward to it. It's just like so upsetting how hard it was to actually watch. Yeah, it wasn't like the Gringo Poppy where every time you watch it, it's immediate joy. Yeah. But it was no Mr. Whole Foods. There's nothing like that. Yeah. Other than Asian and shit, which.

Yeah. And Jamal. Well, that's the Jamal one. But also, that's also, you know, worst pain in your life, which is amazing. Same bit. Yeah. Jamal, but also difference haircut in the doctor.

Yeah, yeah, the turkeys. That's I like that. Yeah, I don't know why. It was so funny. That's your narrative. I want such a shop. They are very funny. I don't get it.

Greatest joke I've ever seen. All right, but and then we also fact check it and Leonardo Capardo capra wasn't there yeah we read the wicket or whatever it was it was on the changs the changs yeah yeah i go to super hanging out just best buds wait what did we say on the on the

review is that it was Leonardo DiCaprio somebody else two other people but really it was three C grade celebrity I think that we said I might be wrong but I think what we said was that wouldn't it be funny if it wasn't Leonardo DiCaprio with somebody that's just so different like it was Don Cheadle. Oh, yeah.

Don Cheadle. And I was like, oh, dude, Leonardo DiCaprio was there. I was like, what? That was Don Cheadle, dude. You remember War Machine from Avengers? Yeah. All right, let's see. Ball party with Tim Tebow. We walk in and then Michael Irvin's there like surrounded by a ton of people. He's the life of the party like

and he sees me and he goes Shaub Shaub get over here baby I'm like oh what's up baby you know and there's all these people go to grab his hand and he grabs my head holds me down and kisses the top of my head in front of everybody how do you know him Dick? we did the

the tournament together the charity tournament together but I still fucked him. Oh, my God, dude. Besides the kissing part of it, I find it funny that these celebrities are having the same reactions that we would. Yeah. It's almost like he's describing what we would do. Yeah.

Oh, my God. Yes. Oh, my God. I'm such a huge fan. Yeah. You're that fighter that does bad comedy. Yeah. Yeah.

I probably wouldn't say that, but and then I would be so amped, bro. If I met shop and he was like, how are you doing today? I'll be like eight inches, dude. I knew it, bro. Hit him with a shot. Yes. Yeah. Eight inches.

Good morning, Mr. Shop. Name the movie. All right. let's see. Because Travis Barker is my boy. Travis is literally one of the best people on earth, and he fought to him, so I got to imagine he's a good person. Thanks for that follow, Travis.

Rick Ross texted me. Rick Ross? I feel like Shaw has a very vivid imagination. I mean, I'm not really, you know, finding gold here. You know what I mean? I feel like he he meets these people. It's just not in real life. You know what I mean? It's I really don't know. I don't know what to believe and what not to believe. I want the names to get more crazy, though, like cancelable names like he's like Bashar Al-Assad was texting me the other day and he was just like man I love your

show dude Benjamin Netanyahu said that I had a lot to do though you know how do you know president president Benjamin Netanyahu well you know we're at we did that charity thing together you know raise money for the

Palestinians and what dude you're not gonna believe it I was at O'Reilly's auto parts ran into Shamu. I was like, have you seen this blackfish? I thought you're going to say you said O'Reilly's auto parts and he saw a deck that he was like and Bill O'Reilly was there

because he's like owns the stuff and I was like, what's up, Bill? He's like a huge fan. Look at you guys. He said, let's go to your show. Fuck it. We'll do live. He told me that I was over there i saw isis i was like look at you guys he met isis isis watches us talk about uh yeah how crazy is that i can't believe i just that's 2023 for a rick ross dm me sorry i didn't text dm me and has this

and uh sorry about fish tanks i'm ballsysy with fish tanks. We posted about it. You must have saw it. I told you when I was... Celebs are going for fish advice for Brennan Schaub because they know he's the fish guy. Oh, my God. He's such a cute adolescent man, dude. Yeah. That doesn't sound real for sure.

If these are all real, he lives a fucking great life, dude. How would they know that he's really into fish? Because his social media presence, dude. His engagement numbers. Oh, right, right, right. Yeah. He's a numbers guy, B. Maybe.

Rick Ross hit him up like, Hey, man, you really eat that fish? Yeah. That's why they secretly want to know if he bit the fish. All these celebrities are certified homeless. Let's see. I was working the Logan Paul Floyd May mayweather fight i went to the restaurant and his whole team all of them all of them were coming out and he was i know you you're

the white boy who works too much that's me dude that's me dude wow that's me dude that's me just classic spat was a special time that clip yeah Yeah. Thank him. Over man. Like I'm exhausted. The rock. Six to the rock. Okay, wait. First of all, I wanted to. I don't know if you're okay with this. I can cut this out if you're not.

What we have. There's a debate going on at Timo Studios, right? You know what I'm talking about here, dude. What are these fine gentlemen sitting in, dude? Oh, the chairs. Yes. Oh, and yeah yeah chairs be um we these are the old chairs that uh t fat k sat and we're trying to find new chairs because

our chairs are uncomfortable as fuck yeah and uh i looked up the new ones i was thinking about getting some movie chairs but i like i guess i like these better. What's the debate we're having? The debate is the old brown rustic looking chairs or the new movie red kind of old school. This is like phase two tf t fat k red chair. Remember how like they used to have the red chairs. They got rid of them for these brown redacted ones, right? And then now they brought back the red ones. So I'm just saying in the comments, you know what I mean? Comment below. Which ones do you want to see us sitting in? Oh yeah, and we'll probably do something redacted like get blue chairs, but still, you know what I mean? We'll put these on them. Yeah,

we'll soundproof the chairs. You put anything in here. I'll soundproof. Yeah, but yeah, let us know in the comments. The rock, the rock six to I'm going to help you six to elevator. The Rock. 6'2". He's 6'2". I'm in an elevator with him.

You're in an elevator with him? Dalia's like, I just don't believe it. Yeah. Oh, really, dude? Just to us out of... Did you say anything? Just what's up? Sup, The Rock.

Big fan. Big fan. He said what? He said he's a fan. I said, I want to fucking fight him. He's not... All of that sounds's up? Sup, The Rock. Big fan. He said what? He said he's a fan. I said, I want to fucking fight you. He's not... All of that sounds made up. Our phones is all...

Sounds made up. Oops. Oh, so this is T. LeJuan. Which one is it? The one on the right. Okay, the ones on the far right is T. LeJuan. Yeah, and then the other one's Compton. Will Compton.

Okay, T. LeJuan got a shout out in a Timo song, dude. Yes, he did. Hell yeah, dude. Yeah, yeah. You go on TFATK, make one of the songs be maybe. Boner alert. Boner alert. Let's see.

Oscar party and everyone's in tuxedos. So there's no cell phones. Tuxedos. I've been to those parties. And Will Smith asked me to, Will Smith asked me if I did private training. He did? Who? Will Smith was like, hey, man.

Is that the reason why you do private training? Oh, he slapped. Oh, boy. I didn a little bit and you punched Buddy in the face. Oh, he slapped, oh boy. Oh, I didn't train with him. You're the reason why Chris Rock.

No, I didn't train with him. I didn't train with him. I didn't take him up on it. I get different vibes. Dude, those, I know,

I'm a one, I'm a one track mind kind of guy, right? Those fucking chairs right there, B, you know what I mean?

Those are fluffy. I mean, they look comfortable and movie chairs traditionally are, you know, comfortable. So yeah, they're in the running and we did find ones that have the cup holders, but they're very expensive, very expensive. And the brown rustic chair that we found does look almost exactly like, I mean, you'll be the judge if we end up picking those, but yeah, I feel like the one you found looks exactly like it. It had two negative reviews that said it was one of them said it was the most uncomfortable chair that they've ever sat in so i don't know if i want to buy it

but i mean they had mostly good reviews there's only two negative so we'll see i'm not sure but when most of the five star reviews are bots and then there's two for real ones that i know that please do not because they're like oh great chair i've bought it i sat on it great quality and there's some that are just five stars with no review every one star review has passion behind it dude you know what i mean different kind of capitalization and stuff like that i want to get a review straight from the source though you know what i mean you Ask them. Brian, what chair should we get? Brian? He's like, you guys suck.

Stop making fun of me. Stop making fun of the show. How about that? He probably beat us up. Yeah. I'd rather meet shop. No. I'm going to hold minutes for you.

You didn't say no. I promise. I was a guy. Well, at the time, as a current UFC fighter, I'm like, oh, I don't. I don't like hold minutes. Don you? You didn't say no. I promise. I was like, well, at the time as a current UFC fighter, I'm like, oh, I don't, I don't like hold mitts, Don. You know,

imagine having to break it down to Will Smith. Like, dude, I love you, but I don't hold mitts, dude. I would hold mitts for Will Smith.

I'd be like, sure. Yeah, dude. Yeah. I don't know. Why would that be if you're going to train him?

Yeah. Well, I guess he doesn't want to train him. Yeah. Well, if Will Smith came up to me, he was like, what are we doing here, dude? You holding mitts or not? I'd be like, oh, dude, for sure.

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely, dude. Just don't slap Chris Rock, whatever you do. Yeah, that was blockbuster. Have you met Kanye? Yes. He doesn't want to lie. It's like he's trying to put the speed bumps on the line, but he can't.

They all are just staring, waiting for him to lie. He has to lie during the show at least once. Would you like to lie now? What about him, dude? What about him, dude? Have you talked to him? Spent time with him? He knows who you are? I doubt it.

I'm just a white boy with a face, man. Okay, that's amazing. Right? Change of the narrative interesting end what do you think is happening behind the scenes here because that last one is that there's a there's an obvious difference between all the celebrities he named and then kanye west with brian being somewhat more oh you know what i mean yeah you got the best brains i didn't see it but now that you say it out loud yeah so all the people that are cool he's met yeah but the guy who's had some mistakes lately

doesn't know who he is because Brendan Chobb is the white boy with the face. Maybe he has met him. That's what the truth like. The only one he's met is the guy that's going out there talking about Jews. He didn't want to say that, but that's not what I meant. But what did you mean? I meant like I feel like Brian Cowan is like, oh, really? You met. Let's hear it. Tell me what you think about Kanye. You've met him right kind of thing because there's so much evidence of him faking the celebrity and oh so Brian's being a little bit change the certified homeless. I said it probably thirty episodes ago dude. I don't get that vibe for Brian at all. I would think he

wants to kill people at change probably okay yeah well you know what I'm saying I'm the devil's advocate dude or however for shot would say all right let's go to the next one man these are the most uh popular clips of the week shout out to haphazard dude he's got one of the most popping clips of the week haven't seen it yet one of our guys yes one of our guys a great guy never met him there is an interview with him on the patreon though yes there is uh this one's's called Chris realizes that his co-host does not understand comedy. Let's see. No, but the thing is, look, if you if the story is so outdated

then make a new story. But not call it Snow White. No, but it's like there's nothing wrong with like They should have called her Snow Brown, honestly. Yeah, exactly. Snow Black. That could have been cool. Snow Brown. Snow Brown, honestly. Yeah, exactly. Snow Black. That could have been cool. Snow Brown. That's what I'm saying.

Snow Brown. Don't do. Snow Brown is better. Don't make the joke worse by tagging it worse. Well, no, you want Snow Black. Why? Because. Explain why.

Yeah, yeah. Because you want views, right? Yeah. Snow Black, it's exaggerated. Brown, that could be anything. Is she Indian? But that's why it's Snow Brown. You don't know what she is. Oh, fuck, exaggerated. Brown, that could be anything. Is she Indian? But that's why it's snow brown. You don't know what she is.

Oh, fuck, dude. We want black. I want snow mixed. Snow mixed? Mixed snow? Mixed snow. That'd be the name of it. But that's coming to Fox.

How about just rain? Dude, I... It's almost like they're 10 minutes of shot for a second there. Yeah. Chris is like, at first he's sort of frustrated and angry, but then he just starts laughing because it's so absurd. He realizes he's not going to be able to explain to Brennan what's going on. Brennan's just stuck on snow black, whatever that means to him.

I know, dude. You know? It's sort of like talking to a little kid and you go, hey, you got to get back. You put the toys away. It's time to go to bed. And they don't understand. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, I'm more of a black swan kind of guy. You like Natalie Portman? Of course. Oh, yeah, dude. Great movie. Have you seen it? Never seen it.

All right. Let's redact it. All right. So this next one's posted by busy underscore middle eight one zero eight. It's called. Rinks has definitely been in chains recently. What I was saying did his most to bait Brenda into another celebrity lie? Okay, this might be the Kanye one.

Okay, so there's a narrative there. With a little bit more context. I don't think he comes around to that. You know the other Kardashians a little bit. Yeah, I don't think he comes around to the family functions. He doesn't like what they're about. Good for him. That's how he feels.

Doesn't want to be on camera. Yeah. That's stress pounds, man. Do you know, have you met Kanye? Yes. What about him, dude? Have you talked to him? Spent time with him?

He knows who you are? I doubt it. Probably just a white boy with a face, man. Or he might. I'm not Jewish, so he talks to me set up for a bad joke there you go new stand up bit

what else you got Jen what the fuck dude I mean I didn't I didn't catch the first one he does say yes at the beginning my bad I didn't see that but the way he says it is kind of like we talked about this. I'm going to always say I met whatever celebrity comes

up. He's met everybody and he's a very famous guy. Do you think that bit could be funny? Which bit like we every episode of Raccoon Tweety's we just talk about a celebrity. We didn't meet like we met them. You know what I mean? I don't understand exactly why does shop do it?

No, like let's say on record tweets. I'm just like, oh dude, Justin Long stopped by the apartment yesterday. Dude, he told me he's a big fan of Oh, I but we you're saying like they did as a joke. They never met me, but I'm like realize. Yeah, I that's why I misunderstood. Let the listeners vote. Is that funny?

I don't know. Talk about what do you which chair do you want? We'll pick the chair. I'm just kidding. I get fake mad. No, it could be. Yeah, sure.

We should just do it and then not say anything. Yeah, when we try to pick the chair, though, we stay here for three hours looking at chairs. That's true. Yeah, there's a lot of chairs

going through Amazon Home Depot and and Wayfair. It's fucking midnight and we're barely starting to record. All right. We need help. Oh shit, dude. Haphazard has a great week. This is another haphazard one.

It's called Callan finally speaks the truth. Callan, I'm telling you, he's off his rocker, dude. That's not real. You're also lying. You don't think Hawaii would be upset at that? I think you're a fat liar. Just think hawaii would be upset at that i think you're a fat liar just like you said you saw fucking mountain lions yeah dang name in the waters i'm a fat liar fat patrick he's doing a little bit of theo's bit there have you seen him like

do his little tirade on this episode yet no not yet no dude that's that's a clip coming up later b what do you think about that. Yeah, I still don't think that he's like secretly homeless or anything like that. Really? No, dude, let me I'm going to go straight to this fucking clip then right now. Okay, no, not this one. Okay, here we go.

Another one from haphazard dude. A lot of truth in this bit. I like the title quote unquote bit and then the what's the tag redact whisper redact? All right, here goes. This may sound inappropriate, but I got a boner that could want a cat's claw. You know what I mean? I'll tell you what, because Brendan's wearing a little had to do it. I mean, that was like, you know, dude, if it wasn't for the soundproofing, we couldn't

have that voice thing. Biker cap and it makes his head look extra small. And let's be honest, the top of his head is extra small. He doesn't have much of a brain. You know what I mean? He's got a big body with a small head and a tiny dick. You know what I'm saying? All right, guys, let's hear it for my boner right now, which could cut a diamond.

Is he doing? Is he doing a bit for us? I don't know. That's crazy. Yeah. That is like, is he doing an end? That's almost like not Chang's. That's almost Timo's, but no one knows who we are. We don't matter, but that was wild because that's like his writing voice,

you know, like that stupid ass speech he did with Crowder. I feel bad bashing him now that he's performing for us, but that is like that stupid ass speech he did with Crowder. I feel bad bashing him now that he's performing for us, but that is like that stupid voice that he has and he did it. If he said something about a duck or a hawk, then he's watching. Oh, I don't know why, but I am hard as it gets. And speaking of hard,

I'll take you from here, pilot fish. How about you suck me off at the commercial break? Don't call me a pilot fish, you stupid son of a bitch. You're a fat fucking whale and you're going to die soon. I'm an outlady. But you've been following this whale, you pilot fish, and I'm getting sick of it. That's true, but I'll be dancing on your grave, you piece of fucking shit.

You're a big old mud pie, you overgrown whale. I hope you sink to the bottom of the ocean. Let's cut to break. Okay, well, we're not that mean. Yeah. We like shop. Yeah. Now I'm just confused.

I don't know. Well, the discourse on the discord, which join it. It's free. If you want to is people saying that they got rid of the no cussing sign. Oh, so they're. It's always more redacted than you think. There's nothing like smart. It's like they're just.

So that whole clip is just them not cursing. That makes me feel sad. Oh, no, that whole clip is them cussing. They got rid of the no cursing sign. Remember last week they had a no cursing sign, so they would bleep things and then they would reference the thing. So they're cursing because it's even worse dude. You're the worst brain for the I know I like I totally missed all the curse words there. I totally make can we watch it again? Oh my God, I just closed it. Let me fuck it. We'll go back to it as a little topper

off as a nightcap for this episode. We'll watch it again. Okay, but let's get to some more pressing things, dude. This one's posted by sir underscore stripper underscore bill. Never seen that name before. It's called. I wonder who he's talking about. Most likely Boppa. You remember this

is like a was like a month ago or something like that? Oh, yeah. You texted me, or I texted you congratulating you for the club opening. It was like right around when it opened. And you texted me back, I can wait for you to come see it. I think you meant to say, I can't wait for you to come see it.

But I thought there was something so funny about just texting me. If that was your way of telling me, you don't want me at the club, I can wait. I can wait for you to see it, actually. Oh, that's hilarious. It has been a problem, though, because a lot of people want to come. And some of them are just, you know.

People are weird that want to headline and you know that they know. Like, you know that you're not really a headliner. Like, what are you talking about? Oh yeah. This is like an old spicy dish that got re-served. Re-fried. But I saw it on the Chang's like, but yeah, classic obviously talking about Babacito.

Yeah. Brendan Schlaug. Well, let's be honest, dude. Great dish, right? Yeah, no, classic. Very, very well prepared. I can eat that seven days a week. Sorry about that. Had a burp real quick. This one's posted by all I do is lie to you.

It's called Bapa prophecy. It looks like a see the old school. Oh, dude, look at those chairs. Okay, so those are even that's a third version. Yeah, I could do that kind of looks like one of the chairs that we had coming below. Let us know vote. Let's see a vote on the chair. That kind of looks like one of the chairs that we had. Comment below. Let us know. Vote. Let's see.

Vote on the chairs. Which one do you want? Now take this. Now take this clip. Fast forward a year from now. Brendan's not showing up. Schaub is not here. History in the making.

First golden hour with no Schaub. Brendan's dead broke. This is going to stay. But the fact that you guys are fucking still doing it. Yeah, I know. Still doing it and crushing it.

And we're doing all right. And when you came through Nashville I'm on some hard time. Hey, it's not good. No. Here's grown out. Let's go.

Yep. I'm Venice Beach doing this a lot. Could happen. Bro, I was taking five of these fucking things in your mouth. Bro, I was taking three 30 milligram adolescent aid for a lot. You take 10, you're fucked. That's a lot.

It is Monday morning, 9 o'clock AM on this beautiful Crist Calabasas morning. How's everybody doing? Great. Who could forget that? And then you robbed me. Crist, dude. Chris is one of my favorite from early. Actually, I don't remember when it was.

I just remember we laughed a lot about the Chris. Yes. It was like Monday morning. I just remember that Chris part. Chris Monday morning. Chris. Just robbed me? You just.

No, no. I'll be like that guy who hustled you. Like, dude, you know I'm good for me. I was wondering how you want to get that $5,000 to me. I sent it to the cash app. The night, once you text me, I sent it. I didn't get it. I didn't get it on my cash app.

Did you? I didn't see that. Yes, I got it. You sent it to me? Yeah, I sent it. Now, there's a limit on there. So it's going to come in two different. That's what I mean.

Now, here's the problem. He knew it. I need, listen to me. What did you send me? Because I don't like getting paid in increments. Well, the juice is running. But here's the thing, Jack. Here's the thing.

You ain't trying to do double or nothing. That being said, you want to bet on it? Huh? You want to bet on it? I'll bet you. Again, it's not a bad bet at all. You want to bet $1,000? Sure.

How about I don't owe you if it goes to the decision because it's not fair. I guess I'm almost a minus 400 death by a thousand cuts. Hot chip. I forgot also about that clip. The death by a thousand cuts. Maybe he is a little bit homeless. I take it all back. He's homeless as fuck. Yeah,

I feel like he's such an angry guy. Yeah, if only he was homeless pre la times yeah, right, right, right, right. We all know what that means. Yeah, good douche good. We got our song good douche. Yes,

the song that we think is good, but no one else does. Oh man, here we go. This one's posted by Pharrell eighties. It's called remember reminder of that time. Brendan burst into Logan Paul's dressing room where he at with a camera crew on announced. Is that a shop? Isn't just after a fight, Benoist, he like the

clips of Brandon walking around in any kind of studio. Always gold. It's so funny to just to see him in studios walking around walking around in the wild.

Yeah, is you know, was he going to do film a promo, embarrass someone, do some stupid bit. You don't know no matter what he's on create.

He just goes. Let's see. He's when what the fuck Brandon what the fuck is a win. What the fuck, Brendan? What the fuck? It's a win. It's a win.

What's wrong with you guys? I don't know. I don't know. It's not. This is fucking crazy. You're a fucking alien. That's what he said. Here's what's crazy.

So the first two he's feeling out, that fourth, fifth, and sixth, that's the best he has trying to take you out. He's fucking chill. I'm real. You guys should be fucking stoked. I don't know what to do, bro. He's not best he has trying to take you out. Unreal. You guys should be fucking stoked. He's not done yet. Alright. Stoked. You guys be stoked. No!

This is what you want! Oh, it's not even the studio. It's a boxing thing. Yeah. It's after one of his fights. I think after Floyd Mayweather. Brandon was there? I guess. Let's be honest, dude. He was definitely there. And it says after his fight. I think after Floyd Mayweather, Brandon was there, I guess. Wow. Let's be honest, dude. He was definitely there and it says after a fight. I'm really not

listening. Yeah, what's the matter? I think that that headband is cutting out the circulation of my brain. All right, let's go to this one here. Oh, minimum sky to three zero five. He's back, dude with the flare thick boy squad thick boy nation. It's all Brian

walks off. Let's see what this is about. I'm going to go tell him to shut the fuck up. It's very faint, though. Who the fuck knows him? He fucked up. It's a tsunami thing. No, this guy is having a fucking...

Brian is... Brian is... Yeah, 100% I'm not doing this. Okay, bye Have a great day. I killed both of them We're safe. No, Brian literally walked off the set. He was like I'm done with this show. Why was he mad? Because Sam said, you know, the guy

who was in charge of the Hawaii fires was supposed to set the alarm to let everybody know. He didn't set the alarm so more people died because they weren't aware of it. And Sam saying that guy was responsible for the Vegas shootings, earthquakes. How does Brian get sucked into an argument

like that? But my thing is, why does he get so mad? You know what you signed up for? That's what I'm saying. It'd be like me going to Snow White and be like, what the fuck? She's not white! I knew it. Yeah, but like you used to... Eric's, I knew it, dude.

That's so funny. Is he saying I knew it because Brendan's racist? Because Brendan's a hack, dude. Let's see the rest of this. Sam says that and you go like this. Oh, you think that? And he says, yeah, and you go, oh, wow. I would never engage with that.

Diddler's the voice of reason in this studio. Well, dude, he's got years of therapy, dude. Right. He was before that. He wasn't even really a person. Now he's ready to not engage with conspiracy theories like that. I'm sorry. I said it wrong.

It's therapy. Therapy. All right, right, right. I was trying to do a shop ism. I just looked more redacted. That's pretty crazy, right? I can see myself that happening to me. If I get into an argument, I might get to worked up and be like, yeah.

And then I'm at the end of it. I'm like, God damn it. Why did I engage? Yeah, but yeah, no, that's actually one of the most normal things we've seen. Brian do. I mean, do why is this of the most normal things we've seen Brian do. Dude, why is this week so Brian heavy? I don't know. That's crazy, man. I feel bad for the cat.

It's like a cyber attack or a psy-op to make the show worse. Have just Brian instead of Scoob. It's just like it's so crazy how pissed off Brendan is. I'm going to go tell him to shut the fuck up. It's very faint the fuck why did the cops not because it's a tsunami thing no this guy is having a a fuck yeah dude i don't even know dude that's crazy ridiculous bro

anything else no i mean that's a crazy conspiracy theory it's wild i'm just gonna yeah you walk off because you believe it's so hard fuck you all right let's go to the next clip uh minimum sky great chef dude never met him yeah um all right this one's posted by ryan joseph 82 is he one of our guys yeah ryan he's sometimes he's on the live chats all right one of our guys dude er, Ryan. Sometimes he's on the live chats. All right. One of our guys, dude. Eric Griffin is not a fan of Shab's new haircut. Is this one? Let's see.

You have a weird fade right now. You have the nerve to talk about hair. Okay, bro. That shit looks like you go like this at night. Bro. Yeah. Jamal's watching. Like, be cool. Be cool. Montez. Be cool. Jamal's watching pissed. He's cool montez be cool jamal's watching pissed he's like

yeah that's why he should come to me he hasn't been back yeah but jerry curl on your fucking knuckles can you this isn't a choice you chose this haircut do you think somebody wrote that for him shop becauseob? Because he knew he was going to get made fun of by Harry. He's like, give me something to make fun of them. He probably has a D'Elia thing, too. Yeah. Are you a man with hairy knuckles? No, huh?

I'm hairy everywhere else. Yeah. Yeah, but I guess not the knuckles. I had to look. I didn't even know. I'm a hairy knuckle guy. I recently cut mine. It's already grown back, dude.

Oh, okay. But roast me. I've never noticed. No? Oh, that that's fucking i think that's more of a roast than anything that i didn't know what your hands look like yeah i don't know i think it's pretty normal got him all right let's see the rest of this you think i was like yeah give me the hairy knuckles no you went to the barber was like get no just shave the side don't give me the hairiest knuckles. No, you went to the barber and was like, just shave the side and leave the top. No, give me the hairiest knuckles. I'll take a jerry curl on my knuckles please. They're both roasting him. He's trying to come back.

They're like a team. No one's ever on Schaub's side. Yeah, well, you know. Schaub's very combative. That's true. Yeah. Can I get Patrick Swayze on top? Can you perm my hands? I have curly hair. Yeah. Can I get Patrick Swayze on top? Can you perm my hands? I have curly hair.

Yeah. Such a bad diss. Can you curl my hands? And he's laughing and no one else is. But when the shop stuff comes in, they both laugh because it's funny. Also, Eric or Chris is over here trying to roast too, but he's like, I can't do anything. He's not loud enough to get over Chubb's interruptions.

His therapist told him, don't cut people off. He's like, all right, I'm trying. I'm trying. That'd be so funny if Dilley as a therapist talks to him about Chubb. God, I hope they do. He's like, but how's that? Because the rest of the stuff is too sad to talk about.

He's like, how's that guy at work that crazy white boy that works too much, interrupts you all the time. I don too sad to talk about. He's like, how's that guy at work, that crazy white boy that works too much, who interrupts you all the time? I don't want to talk about it. Oh, really, dude? He met Leonardo DiCaprio. Nobody believes anything he says. Nobody believes him.

All right, so this next one's posted by The Almighty Dollar. I think it's like The Almighty Dollar with some stuff missing. It's called Bapa is on Bill Burr's radar. I was excited for this one. Let's see. No, but they do say count sheep, not counting sheeps. One of my thing is- Not in my house.

My thing is, my favorite thing is people not only fucking up sayings, but combining them. Oh, my. You're not the smart. He's not the smartest. He's not the smartest tool in the shed. He's the latest one I had. It's not the sharp he's not the smartest tool in the shed yeah it's the latest one i had it's not the sharpest tool in this right this or what someone says it's not rockets anything you're talking about a guy who's already lost his ability to make a living from mexican dick pills like why would he ever just take something off the shelf at gnc well we're not

giving the guy kudos because he's the smartest tool in the shed. He's so happy. He's like, yes, another hilarious thing. This freaking ridiculous friend of mine has said to me, what is it? The smartest crayon in the box or what is the sharpest tool in the shed? No, other one he's mixing too oh um the smartest kid in school or what i don't know i don't know we're just as redacted we're like one level less redacted dude yeah let's see the smartest tool in the shed oh man i could use that with you all the time i was like are you heading to brendan's yeah but you know i'm gonna a little late. He's not the smartest tool in the shed.

I mean, definitely on some of the clips today. That would be accurate. Let's see. Sharp is what I say. Smartest tool in the shed. Well, tools are smart too. That even sounds like something I would say after getting it wrong. Like tools are smart trying to save myself. I love it. Yeah, no, I mean that would be amazing if Bernie about this. Yeah,

dude, bur confirmed homeless dude. Come on the show, bro. Come to the east side, Billy. All right, so this one is a picture, but I thought it was hilarious. It's posted by Khabib time and it's a John Africa. It's a picture of Sean Jones and Brendan shop. So does John Jones know about the John Africa thing? Probably right. Got to know about it because his face when he's smiling like that, he's almost like, you know, you know, I'm saying if I were him, I would love this picture. I would look at like I finally got a pig, you know what I'm saying. If I were him, I would love this picture. Look, I finally got a pic. He's the guy that called me John Africa. Yeah. Send it to all my friends.

Everyone's like doing the happy or I mean the laughy face. Skull emojis. Skull emojis. Dead. I think he has to know, right? Because it's an interview with Mike Tyson. And Ghanu. If there was an interview with Mike Tyson and then my name came up,

I'd be like, oh, I got to check that out. Oh, yeah, you know, I'm sure. Yeah, let's say was going to almost fight that guy until Francis left the OC. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it looks like in his face. He knows.

Yeah. All right, let's go to the next one here. This one's called they are sure to grow their audience with content like this dude. Half hazards all over the sub this week. Shout out to haphazard. Let's see this one. Get insane.

That's it. That's it. I think it's hopefully. I got to take a piss. All right, let's go far. Yeah, look how intense he is into this discussion with his hands out and everything. And he just goes from that to piss.

Get insane. That's it. That's it. I take a piss. All right, let's break. Let's move on from serial killer talk. Sorry,

everybody. How many times? Sorry, everybody. Stop drinking all those rain energy drinks to you. And then Dr. Pepper, there's a curveball

no diet coke tonight i know dude i i just re-upped on my diet coke and he's not drinking it anymore also wear the shoes yeah where's your favorite shoe i mean did you notice the shoes he was wearing no all right christmas shoes the colors red and green one of those is right yeah green yellow fucking i forget i was yellow fucking. I forget. I was yellow. He does do a lot of yellow shoes. Let's see this one more time and one of the clips. He's like red. Oh, green is red. You're right dude. I'm redacted. I can

see it here. Yeah, that's it. It's almost a show yeah you forgetting the color of the shoes is not as redacted as me just straight up not listening to the title and then thinking they're somewhere. Forgetting the no cussing sign.

Yeah, listening to cuss words and not hearing them. All right, let's move on from serial killer talk. Sorry, everybody. You got a pee-pee? Yeah. I'll take over. I'll keep it going. What are we doing? Are we rolling still? if you want what are you doing the show's still going on if you feel like it do you you

want people to watch this shit besides homeless cats and me and gerardo get a grip strap the fuck in i'm not gonna lie dude i watched the whole episode of tfk this week oh yeah yes this one um no i don't believe it was this one i watched the one uh where they're talking about shops uh street getting flooded oh from the hillary yes that sounds like a lie too doesn't that uh yeah i mean there was not a lot of flooding in the hillary we uh if you aren't in los angeles most parts of la didn't get it too bad my girlfriend did have her car floated her car smells like shit yeah that's i mean she was farther we won't say where obviously yeah yeah but uh he was talking about how his street got floated and then brian's like well come on be cool dude like hawaii is on fire right now and then brandon

said something to the effect of like well hawaii would like feel for me every be empathetic for my street, something like that. I forget. I just had it on the background when I was playing video games. Yeah, that so wait brian said that about why comparing he's like don't come don't complain because why he's got a bad yeah brian was basically saying like come on dude. The hawaii's got a really better. Now you can plan about your street b brian's going to earn points. He's like listen. I care a lot. Yeah, Brian was basically saying like, come on, dude. The Hawaii's got it really better now. You can plan about your street beat. Brian's trying to earn points. He's like, listen, I care a lot.

Yeah, he did look at the camera and go. He goes, Afghanistan. What's the word? Honolulu. Yeah. Maui. The Banyan tree. Yeah, he cares a lot.

Yeah. Honolulu. I probably cuss a lot. I don't know. Israeli. Israeli. Kamawha. How are they? Big guy. Hakuna Matata. He brings out a lot. Yeah. Oh, no, look. I probably cuss a lot. I don't know. He's really come a while. How are they? Big guy. Hakuna Matata.

He brings out a guitar. All right. Let's see the rest of it. What else we got? We have any current events or whatnot. By the way, while we're talking, everybody, and you're listening to this, you're in San Antonio, anywhere near that. You come out to the LL Comedy Club because I'm bringing heat.

Wise guys, number one and two. you anywhere near that you come out to the LL Comedy Club because I'm bringing heat wise guys September 1 and 2 I had my uh son do a promo for me I saw it it was very funny on your Instagram yeah watch go to my Instagram he's eating he's talking about a show and he says go to my instagram um that's crazy but uh i have a show on the 16th at fourth wall oh you do yeah i gotta go oh you're not gonna piss right now dude i fall you're redacted but i do have a show you do on the 16th oh i have a show dude. I have a show a September twenty third. It's going to be a fucking dope as show at studio M. Hell yeah, he seemo podcast live. Oh yeah, I've been on one of those. It's all crazy there. Oh yeah, yeah, cheap drink and good stand up. All right, so you know relative good stand up. Let's see here. This one's posted by a haphazard. Oh dude, more than fifty

percent of this today's clips has been haphazard. Dude, thank you really a numbers guy is one of our best one of our guys. Thank him hit him with one of them. Dude, like this clips in you like him. Yeah, thank you. I feel I couldn't feel more redacted than I do right now, so that's good. One more. I want to watch the cursing clip again. Oh man, okay, I'll get that one. I'll pick that one back up.

Yeah. All right. So this one is called. He still opens with this bit from chin's latest vlog posted by a pass. Good boner. What's going through his mind right now? I'm gonna crush. I am the I'm the best ever UFC guy to try comedy ever. Boner alert. Or what is Mr. Whole Foods sticking?

He's just like saying his stupid lines in his head. Chili Ray on carne asada. He practices the words like we do our songs, like he's memorizing and stuff, so he can do it in one take. Seven times a week. He's standing behind the curtain going, oh, look at how he's dipping his nacho in his nacho cheese, dude.

What the fuck? Redact, redact, redact. Redact, redact. Let's see. I don't know if I've ever told this story about job, but another comment came up to me and he said he saw shop i think it was the comedy store and he brought him up or uh callen brought him up he like introduced job but the mic stand fell over so shop comes out and he like huddles with brian and he made brian bring him up again what yeah just to pull up the mic he's's like, dude, just pull up the mic stand. I don't even know it was Brian, to be honest,

but he's like, put the mic stand up. So they're like, introduce him again. They're like, all right, you guys, Brandon Shaw from the T5K or whatever. Isn't that crazy? Yes. Why would you care that the mic stand fell down? I will say that it's one of my pet peeves when a host doesn't put the mic in the mic stand

and hands it to you, right? Oh, no. But no, it's not okay. You just deal with it. You don't fucking stop the whole show and hands it to you right oh no but no it's not okay you just deal with it you don't fucking stop the whole show and get it back up there again yeah i'm just saying you know devil's advocate all right why are you gonna look at me like that dude i know i'm just like it doesn't really i don't think it doesn't bother you no not really i need to go back to therapy dude yeah look at this guy's face right here yeah right in the camera dude deep in the camera. If you if you zoom in, that

might be a maybe me dude. Imagine I open for shop without even knowing be amazing. Ladies in the crowd to do what up dollar phoenix a little different phoenix is a little different if he does that that'd be amazing he should do that every time because that would be so funny for the cats i would really love that that'd be amazing a compilation of that yeah that's the guy dude that's the guy that's having the worst night of his life from the clip that someone posted under the picture that someone is on chain. He's

like I can't believe I'm here. I thought that he thought it was someone else. I thought this was Brandon Cooney. Yeah, I wish nobody knows who I am. Who am I? Who I are? He looks twisted. This guy's is all about. Oh, thick boys. The gang size sea clamps almost duty. Almost see clips. He's got both pistols.

He's with his little mess again right there to dude. This white guy right here is not digging it at all, bro. No, no, look at this guy staring in the camera. That guy is for sure on changs that guy looks like he freaking created changs that's all i do is lie to you bro yeah yeah that's all hey we found him ever heard of him he's drinking on the job right now dude

it's all homeless it's all like that's haphazard he flew from canada haphazard haphazard. He flew from Canada. Hap had a better somehow Latino man. Unlikely, unlikely after interviewing him, but minimum sky that could be haphazard. Yeah, this is a this is Ryan Joseph. Yeah, Ryan Joseph 82. Yeah, he's like

about to edit. He's like, I'm going to edit something from this. This is all I do is lie to you. Do you ever say that the black guy is all I do is lie to you. It's so funny to say they're all cats, dude. This is a minimum sky right here

dude. Yeah. Oh my god shit. Throw slitters right here. Okay, let's keep. Oh my God. Shit. Throw slitters right here. Okay, let's see the ending. A lot of dudes in there, man. A lot of dudes. Yeah, I'm the bro whisperer, dude. It's real cock fest.

Oh my God. Real cock fest. Real cock fest. Damn, dude. So that's the line he's talking about. Wow. Oh my God. All right. Keep talking.

I'm going to, I'm going to pull up that other clip. I mean, that was awesome. That's one of the best. That's the best clip. That's my favorite of all that. The whole episode for sure.

He's still using it. Yeah, it's all. It really is like he doesn't. He's unaware completely. Yeah of what's going on outside of his little bubble. Yeah, there's a possibility

that that's true. Probably not though. Probably not bro. He just doesn't care. He just goes. Yeah, well that guy George has been on the his name is George right there.

The fat dude that lost weight. Yeah, he's been on the subreddit just commenting stuff. That's interesting that he does that because you'd think that Brennan would be mad about that. Even if it's like, you know. Maybe he would tell him, Brennan would be like, listen, I don't mind just posting ghosts.

Please. As long as you don't respond after you comment. Yeah. All right. Well, this is back to the original clip. the bit that he takes too seriously. Let's see what this is about. It may sound inappropriate, but I got a boner that could blunt a cat's claw. You know what I mean? I'll tell you why.

Because Brendan's wearing a little biker cap, and it makes his head look extra small. And let's be honest. The top of his head is extra small. He doesn't have much of a brain. You know what I mean? He's got a big body with a small head and a tiny dick. You know what I'm saying? All right, guys, let's hear it for my boner right now,

which could cut a diamond. I don't know why, but I am hard as it gets. And speaking of hard. I'll take it from here, Pilot Fish. How about you suck me off at the commercial break? Pause it for a second. They haven't cussed once. Yeah, they didn't cuss.

So I feel less redacted. You know what? They did say dick. Yeah. And they said boner. I guess you maybe don't. Boner, suck, dick. You know what? They did say dick. Yeah. And they said boner. I guess you maybe don't. Boner, suck, dick. You know what I mean?

Suck, dick. Yeah. So there, but this is like, I think that they're right and you're right. Yeah. But that's such a childish thing to do. Like, oh, we can curse again. So let's do loud, goofy curse voice. Yeah. like, oh, we can curse again. So let's do loud, goofy curse voice. Yeah, that is like the that's the main issue.

The problem with their show is that that they would do something like that. Yeah, it's so bad. It's terrible. Well, I want to see you. They think I think they do watch a pilot fish. You stupid son of a bitch. There we go. There we go.

So, I mean, I still feel redacted. Obviously, I would anyways, but I just want to. I mean, the amount of cursing that there wasn't, I feel redacted. You know what I mean? That I since I didn't listen to the title and I didn't know the clip two clips in a row. I my brain went to Brian. Yeah, is like thinking about it because it's like the beginning

sounds like he wrote it for us. I still think that, but then it's no, it's this stupid bit. Really, man, if you just think too much about this shit, you get so stupid or maybe that's just me. Yeah, but I feel really dumb. I see. I agreed saying yeah, but I don't mean yeah. I think it'll be hard for you to reach that level. It's like reaching Nirvana. I'm like it's like a Buddhist thing, but I'm becoming like a full-on read act. Yeah, like I was dumb when this started and I'm even more dumb now, but you like are sort of like Zen about it. Maybe like I don't that hasn't affected you as much. Oh, it's

affected me dude. I'm watching tfk at home. Yeah, you watched a whole episode yourself and it's not any of these clips you didn't do anything with it you didn't like pull anything you just watched it yeah i didn't even do it on earwaves yeah yeah yeah yeah you're a fat fucking whale there you go dude yeah this is for sure that curse bit i mean i thought that already yeah because you explained it to me and you're gonna die soon i'm an outlaw you've been following this well, you pilot fish, and I'm getting sick of it. That's true.

I don't, dude. What I don't understand is why they're cursing all the way at the end. Like if it's the bit that they have pre-scripted or pre-thought out, they waited all the way to the end of this. I guess it's a clip that's been edited, right? But like why wouldn't you, and why does he keep not cursing i think what well the speculation is that they're like they went a week with redacted no cussing rules right now they're like let's get back to the old t fat k my dick can cut diamonds boom boom boom boom

you're a fat fucking dude dumb dumb this and that whatever there we're doing a bit voices is real stupid. Yeah, they got to rethink it dude. They got to go back to the blueprints here, but I'll be dancing on your grave. You piece of fucking shit. You're okay, but honestly I think I've only counted four cuss words, you know, so they are cutting back.

Yeah, big old mud pie. You overgrown whale. I hope you sink to the break because they care too much about numbers to fully commit. Yeah, they care too much about the the YouTube rating algorithm to fully commit to the bed. Oh, well, well, we also

care, but not enough to have a bad ending. Goodbye. Wait, here goes one more time. See you later. Owner alert.